|Reviews for For You a Thousand Times Over|
| Master XIII-13 chapter 3 . 23h
Both of your stories are fine adaptions of that timeless game, and I am sad to see that you have stopped on this one: Another story with just as much promise as your first. If you do not feel up to it, then I'm sure out imaginations can pick up on where you left off. But if you feel like you can continue this story after so long, then keep going at it! It's a fine story, and I for one would love to see it through to its end. However, it's your choice. Have a good one!
| Meep chapter 3 . 12/31/2014
Oh my gosh this is amazing! Please continue to write this, I love the idea and the story so far!
| kamd chapter 3 . 9/12/2014
| BurnedSmackdown chapter 2 . 5/23/2014
Mono I think it's because he's happy not to be standing still anymore
| Matthias the Wanderer chapter 3 . 8/21/2013
I love this! I honestly can't wait to see where you take it. As is to be expected, your interpretation of the game is slightly different from mine, but that's really the whole point. I have greatly enjoyed the characters that you have written, and look forward to further chapters.
| basketcaseintheforbiddenlands chapter 3 . 5/20/2013
Awesome story! Please continue!
| MomentaryInsanity chapter 3 . 10/12/2012
Hmm... Not a bad story so far, though I'm hoping it updates sometime in the near future. This is honestly the first SotC story I've read (not counting the prequel, as it's technically part of the same story) that gives the Colossi full-scale personalities. I have to say, I'm impressed, and looking forward to seeing where this story goes.
| The Reluctant Warrior chapter 3 . 8/3/2012
Looks to be a good story. Can't wait for the next few chapters. Good work on the flashbacks by the way.
| TOM 5.0 chapter 3 . 7/9/2012
I enjoy this story and hope to see it continue….
The only thing I have a problem with is the amount of time skipped between the first two chapters. I realize that you want to cover all aspects of the stages of life that Wander has to go through but to me it feels slightly rushed. Also In aspects of certain things such as the clothing and tools mentioned in this chapter I feel that most would appreciate more description on these things in the future.
Other than that no complaints… keep up the good work…
| RYUK chapter 3 . 5/31/2012
| Cenobia100 chapter 3 . 5/20/2012
I'm sooo glad you updated. A very interesting chapter and I'm really wondering about Malus. Argus is and always will be a grouch. Lol and KEEP GOING!
| Fraeya chapter 1 . 5/2/2012
Well, dammit. I wanted to do this idea, but you beat me to the punch! Oh well; I'm most likely still going to do it since it's very different from yours anyway. I haven't read all of it yet, but it's very interesting. I'll keep reading for sure
| Chibitiza chapter 3 . 4/8/2012
ya still have that charm in your writing style. Expand the Colossi universe, I'd really love to see what imagination you can come up with.
I'm a genre savvy person, so I can help you out on some pointers and possible story arc situations. My style of reviews can come in several flavors.
1. All-out praise and acclaim.
2. Constructive criticism that asks you questions that are meant to help you write your story.
3. A list of Predictions a genre savvy person could use to spoil the story (and help you prepare to make the story exciting when the time comes)
In chapter 1: You mentioned there were two tribes at that time, the wanderers, and the Seekers.
If I remember correctly, in the prequel, the Seekers had invaded the Valley of the Colossi for gold, which resulted in a battle. Now there are some inconsistancies I might've seen. The forerunners who were with the Colossi pre-earthquake. Who were they called? If they were the Wanderers, then I apologize for my mistake in the perception.
The point here is, the mentioning of the Seekers tell me that there would be a possible point in the story where more people are returning to the Valley of the Colossi. It can't be those of the Wandering tribe(Emon had declared the land 'cursed'), so it must be the ones of the Seeker tribe. From what I can infer from your earlier chapters, the Seekers are people who focus on greed and material possession. The events of SotC would spread rumors about the land from the remaining Wanderers to the Seekers. Hearing of the abandoned land, the Seekers would come to the Valley in droves to claim the land for themselves (not caring for culture).
The question you should focus on this subject: If there is an influx of more people to the Valley, how would they react to a group of 16 strange creatures (who do not age, but can die[if that's your term of semi-mortal]), a girl who seemingly does not age (because of a blessing), and her fiance who is a baby with horns?
When it comes to the Colossi in their new forms, it seems they have become accostumed to their forms (generally because they retained the same shape). However, one thing I would like to point out that you could throw at the characters would be the differences in size that they would have to get used to. In-game wise, the distances between the central shrine temple and the farthest corner of the map was so great that you had to ride Agro to cut down traveling time. Since the Colossi's sizes in their old and new forms had a large difference, they should have some discomforts in traveling. You should at one point, mention or elaborate on the detail. Question to keep in mind: How would the Colossi deal/cope with the large difference in their size and travel time?
Regarding the personalities of Argus and Malus-
Argus has a pessimistic snarky attitude about him and is some what like a Judge who only sees the bad, not the good. If you want to have Argus open up to Mono (and possibly brighten up his mood so any prediction could always be right). I know this may or may not make him OOC in your view, but there should be a time when Argus had a time off and was happy/content. Being told by Malus isn't going to cut it. Question to think of: Why is Argus always moody? There should be something in his past that could be nagging at him to become so pessimistic. If so, what is it? It could be an incident with a human that he somehow kept it hidden from his companions.
Malus on the other hand is somewhat of a optimistic stoic. From a being who spent alot of his time standing, his bursts of energy could be related to his elation of being able to walk around/move. Also if he's full of energy and is the leader of the colossi, he should have some complexity and a deeper emotion behind the smile.
Concerning the little toddler Wander, it seems that Mono's fiance might be looking at her more as a mother, not a lover. The latter of the two can only be justified if Wander retains his memories. However, given the promise keeping blessing (courtesy of Emon) if Wander's perception of Mono is as a mother, then we have a problem. Since you're telling the story by large monthly time gaps. Fact & Question to keep in mind: The unaging love promise on Mono won't go unnoticed before long, so when will Mono's situation be noticed, who will notice it, and how will they react to it?
The story right now has all the elements needed to create love triangle for you to mess around with. Possible canidates include: Mono/Wander/Malus Triangle or Mono/Wander/OC Triangle.(although the genre is mainly friendship and I'm more of a drama lover, it wouldn't hurt to add some suggestions)
That's all the major pointers I can think of, your writing style is great and the flashback sequences give us a good snippet of the Wandering tribal life.
I hope for a good update
| Cenobia100 chapter 2 . 11/4/2011
Okay you need to continue this NOW!
| Chibitiza chapter 2 . 10/8/2011
I'm loving the story. Please continue. This is a very exciting story.