|Reviews for Life After Molmol, Book One : Sisters At War|
| Ashen Author chapter 11 . 12/2/2013
This was wonderful and beautiful and all kinds of compliments. You kept everyone in character and perfectly believable, and opened up so much more in their world.
| AKAAkira chapter 11 . 8/18/2012
I really should've reviewed this the first time I read through...it's been a while, so I might've forgotten some stuff I wanted to say.
First and foremost is brilliant. This story hooked me from the very first page with the amusing yet totally fitting explanation behind Keitaro's bad habit of sticking his nose in the wrong places, literally. I think that's your greatest strength in this story; to ability to make anything nonsensical make sense, the application of which stretches from everything between the example above to the very deconstruction of Molmol incident that this story was based on (not to mention behaviour in Molmol, itself - "We have a very aggressive recruitment program" was one of my favourite lines) to even the final line of the story, which at last gave a plausible explanation for the title of Love Hina. The magnitude of this is way too large for me to say, but rest assured (though you probably know) that you did an exceptional job with every plot gimmick you've placed.
Characterization was also a great player in here; the interaction between these characters really took them down to their cores. While I've personally willingly suspended disbelief at Molmol, your interpretations definitely makes sense as well, and it was very interesting to see how you got everyone to answer to their own actions while still being themselves.
I think one of the few weaker areas in this fic was some of the vocabulary of the characters (though I *might* be mistaken since I haven't actually read the official translations...) which I found was sometimes a shade more formal and sophisticated than might be normal. One example this might be overlooked was when Keima confronted Mitsune, but another example where it kinda stood out was in this chapter, when Shinobu said "Point conceded", where I'd personally go for a teenager's more casual "Good point" or even "I see..."
Another minor point would be that though your dialogue definitely conveys stronger than your narration, sometimes it can get confusing without the narrative - one example being way back in I think chapter four, where Su interrupts Shinobu and Mitsune talking. At times like that, when it's not clear it's a new voice, I'd identify the speaker before the dialogue, not after.
Still, this was overall a fantastic and thoughtful story. Congrats on getting fifty reviews - not that it's nearly enough to reflect the quality of this fic, heh.
| Qaletaqa chapter 2 . 2/28/2012
For the life of me I can't figure out what the hell is going on. Was there another story I needed to read, because this is confusing as hell.
| Varanus chapter 11 . 2/19/2011
This fic was something else. Reading your AN at the very end, I can say with certainty that you achieved your goals.
At times, this fic was cathartic for me, seeing the girls get called out on their actions, but you wrote this fic very fairly, letting the criticisms of their actions fuel further growth rather than let it devolve into a bashing fic.
It's hard for me to find the words to say how much I enjoyed this tale, and I'm definitely putting this into my faves. Brilliant work!
| I always wanted to post a fic chapter 11 . 1/15/2011
Cool story, loved the pyschology in it. I hate fics that blindly bash characters, and the Love Hina section is filled with them. Rather then go down that road, you have stopped and looked at the motivations behind everyones actions, and had them exposed, discussed and resolved in a realistic/true-to-the-characters manner. Easily the best and in character Love Hina fanfic.
| Higashiyama Sayuri's Devout chapter 10 . 3/27/2010
The last part was the best part... Ew! jua jua jua... priceless.
| Ninja on the Roof chapter 11 . 3/26/2010
Job well done Mr. Morris .
This story has delved into depths of emtion I never thought possible into the nuthouse that is Love Hina. Not to mention it invoked an evil chuckle or two from me... MwuhAhahahahahah!
But what you did that satisfied me the most was...
You let Naru get the guy.
I've read far too many stories where Naru is the victim of an author's rage, or is portrayed as some sort of sociopath.
Yes, you made her a lesson, but you gave her some help along the path. (Mutsumi... Ya gotta love that caring ,endowed, melon-lovin' Airhead...)
not to mention the letter from granny Hina was absolute genious. And I have a feeling we haven't seen the last of the fox women...
From one of your most avid of readers,
| Wonderbee31 chapter 11 . 3/26/2010
Liked this wrap there, but had me spittake with the idea of "Bob" and his job in Japan, LOL, along with Haruka freaking the kids out more, and will look forward to the follow up with everything in the next part.
| SecondSeraphim chapter 1 . 3/26/2010
Now THAT was a good story. Also, I hated it for making me mad at Shinobu...I'm a huge Shinobu fan, and I just didn't think it was possible to be angry at her but you made me. Way to go. And yet-it worked. Great story.
| Nysk chapter 11 . 3/26/2010
| Ninja on the Roof chapter 10 . 3/21/2010
One word, pal: Sweet...
And a few more words: a great chapter(again), I have to say, those dreams were pretty, well, crazy or something along those lines.
| Wonderbee31 chapter 10 . 3/20/2010
Great fun there, and got to say, heck of a dreams that the girls had there, and got to say, Seta's reaction at the end made me LOL.
| Higashiyama Sayuri's Devout chapter 9 . 3/18/2010
Wow better than ever, you outdid yourself with the bot kicking Shinobu, and i would like it more if the skillet wrwe the size of of Cloud's Buster sword.
Got to love Final Fantasy, i have a collection and i do(very proudly)have the first 1985 Final Fantasy for the original NES.
| Ninja on the Roof chapter 9 . 3/16/2010
*Sighs happily* Su gets ripped a new one, by Shinobu no less *chuckles evily*
And I think I have an idea of were your going with the whole thing between Kanako and Mitsune.
Great Chapter by the way.
P.S. You work fast...
| Wonderbee31 chapter 9 . 3/16/2010
You've been watching "Up" haven't you, and Su does act a little bit like Doug doesn't she? LOL, a fun part there, and really enjoying all that's going on here and it looks like the gang is about to get the majority of things worked out for now?