Reviews for Strange Fire
anonmouse chapter 18 . 4/11
Oh my god you're not dead! And I now have to watch a new show to read your earlier fic. I'm happy you found the time to write and share, tis lovely as always. Thank you!
migele chapter 18 . 4/8
The greatest story featuring Strawberry Panic and Yamibou update.

You have no idea how happy I was.

Totally reread everything twice to appreciate it!
Trscroggs chapter 18 . 4/8
Good to see another chapter. And this was a good read as...rather a lot of time passes through Ryfou's grief.
WanderingBlackDragon chapter 18 . 4/7
Well, this chapter was interesting to read, though I think Ren's side of it dominated it a bit too much and probably would've worked better as a standalone story. But then covering the time skip between "Mr. Ten Thousand's" first attempt to get rid of her and the second would have been tricky.

The section does bring me back to watching Marco Polo with my dad and the subject has always put me in a weird place. On one hand, one would sympathize with the Chinese for wanting to be free of the Mongols. But at the same time, the people running the show on their side were a bunch of idiots and jerks in their own right, and the Mongols' rule did prove beneficial... Despite the merciless killing and such.

What also raises a question is how a society so blatantly misogynist had allowed a situation like that of Koihime Musou in the first place, or perhaps there was some pushback from what remained of the male rulers? I've been poking at the game a little, but not enough to know yet.

Regardless, seeing what came after our girls, it was quite satisfying to see "Mr. Ten Thousand" get his ass handed to him by Ren... But, I suppose he did get the last laugh. I wonder how many times he'll tell himself that so he can sleep at night.

Unfortunately I don't have much to say on the actual Yamiberry bit. There just isn't much going on there for me to comment on. I won't say it was bad, or boring, or whatever. It's just kinda slow, to be honest. But, it's obviously setting up for other things, so we'll see what becomes of this production and its cast.

The bit with Amane does feel a bit odd, however. Not to make her sound like a Mary-Sue, but I'd figure she would be used to be in front of others considering her "Celebrity" status, or maybe there's something I'm missing? We'll see, I suppose. I'm also quite interested in seeing our Etoile and Ren's interactions considering horses.

Well, I didn't expect to see you posting again so soon after the last chapter of your Haruhi story. I hadn't gotten to leaving a review to that one since I, admittedly, didn't have much to say about it. Also, I didn't get to hear back from you on the comment I left on the eighth chapter of that fic, so I was getting a bit worried things were okay on your end.

Either way, I'm looking forward to seeing more of your work.

Peace.
shanejayell chapter 18 . 4/6
Mood whiplash tends to come to mind. Neat chapter tho. And the play looks like it'll be quite amusing, at the very least.

I'm assuming either Ryofu spent a period in the Great Library getting briefed on the 21st century, or they magiced knowledge into her...
ChL chapter 18 . 4/6
It's so good to see you're back! :D Great job
Spikesagitta chapter 17 . 9/10/2014
Damn. I like how interwoven your stories are. Hoping to see more!
World of Dragons Productions chapter 17 . 4/9/2014
Well, reading this one as a sort of aftermath, there's not much for me to go on in terms of a review. For one thing, it can be said you've had more time with this one considering your prose. But I can't help wondering if it's a bit purple-ish, or maybe that's just the lack of decent sleep talking.

Anyway, the bit about Shambala went over a bit. Is this your version of the place-if one such place even exists-, or does this place exist in Koihime? I ended up looking it up, but there wasn't much to see or go on. Now, there's Ryofu's bit in this and she seems a bit articulate and poetic here than usual. This comes more from the impression that she's a more simplistic person. But then again, my only real experience with the character comes from your stories and CG art I've seen of her from the game as I still haven't gotten around to watching the anime itself.

I dunno, maybe the years that passed since Koihime had gotten Ryofu some culture, but I can't really say. Also makes me wonder just how much time actually passed by the time of that scene.

There's not much for me to comment on with the who thing with Momomi. However, I can never seem to bring myself to really care too much about her these days. I guess as Kaname continues to try to improve herself, Momomi keeps herself stuck in the same place of trying to get ahead, trying to use people and blah blah blah. Of course we already know where Momomi's suggestion went, so I can't really get excited here.

Now the lesson with Lilith had me thinking quite a bit. This is more in the sense of world building and whole idea of how everything is connected. I'm not sure if I can really talk about it without going on about my little side project, but even as one who came to understand the supposed supernatural forces people invest in are just myths, I also understand life is connected in some way or form.

I also found myself sympathizing with Tamao quite a bit. I never let myself go far enough to consider suicide, but I've had times where I was quite miserable, felt alone and wondered if I ever really belonged anywhere. But, as aforementioned, we're all connected in some way or another, which is why life is a very precious thing.

I'm also surprised you had Lilith react the way she did. I had gotten the impression she would still recent Alt-Kaori for trying to force her way. Now I'm curious as to what's going to happen after Tamao's little-not sure if I can call it a confession, but whatever it is, it seems to have gotten Lilith to think differently.

Finally there's supposed to be little thing about Cho'uun being dead, or rather 'gone'. But for some reason I keep feeling as though there's a fix to this. The only question in my mind is whether or not it'll cost anything.

Well, I'll be looking forward to the next bit, so let's see what happens.

Peace
shanejayell chapter 17 . 4/8/2014
Well, while the Ryofu bit is beautiful, not sure if I get it... And who is Nenene? Character from Yamiberry of the Dead?

*gets to next bit*

*pause*

Hazuki as etole. HAZUKI. BWA HA HA HA HA HA. *big grin*

Surreal, yet I almost hope you DO that. It'd be so fun. Would you do all the contests and stuff that were in the series? Maybe even have Hazuki ask for a martial arts component. Ha!

*next bit*

Oooh. I liked the training between Lilith and Tamao. Neat scene. And a very well written conversation. Heh. Kinda cool that the girls are... kind of getting through to Lilith a bit.

*last segment*

Awww. That last bit was sweet. You know, I'm REALLY developing a liking for Kaname. And considering I hated her guts in canon, that's quite a feat of writing.
Drinkie chapter 17 . 4/8/2014
I'm glad to see you haven't forgotten about this fic i always enjoy seeing my phone light up when there's a update for this
ninemil con'd chapter 11 . 10/27/2013
Koijima’s role in this chapter, and her willingness to trust in a child’s authority, when she is the adult in control of the class, is of course, something you will have to justify. In the initial moments of the scene, however, as Chikaru moves to heal the ailing Hazuki, I can well believe the Lulim senior’s seemingly calm reaction being compelling enough to get the job done. But with time to think and recollect, and without that calm nerve and determined tone from Chikaru, I’m sure the kendo teacher is only ending up with more and more questions. You’ve got me on suspension of disbelief thus far, but it’s gonna be interesting to see how you handle things in the next chapter. Would she even be allowed to let the armed classes to continue? She’d have to fudge her report to a pretty startling degree to avoid questions from her seniors, so what are her motivations for doing so?

At this point, Koijima is an enigma, particularly in light of her unprecedented admittance of failure to give required direction, something that would be unheard of in Japanese culture, where teachers responsible for even unthinkable acts, (such as excessive beatings that led to hospitalization, or the placement of spy cameras in female student toilets,) are seemingly untouchable in terms of reprimand. Why would someone in such a position, with kinds of salary that staff in an institute such as Astraea Hill, risk making such a confession to a student? While it makes her incredibly human, it also makes her somewhat difficult to place. Looking forward to seeing this one play out.

Snappy Yaya is, well, snappy Yaya. I feel guilty for doing so, but can’t help but draw parallels between the ‘don’t look away from me,’ line, and Yaya’s confrontation with Shion outside the Cathedral in Gravity’s earlier chapters, where Shion turning away from Yaya was the catalyst for her finally lashing out at the school President. I don’t know if it was an intentional nod, but it’s always cute when I find us on the same wavelength, since it reinforces my confidence in my own characterization. Props for making me feel better, when Yaya is one of the characters making my life a pain in the arse right now.

And since Tempest Yaya is a tempest, I’m not surprised that it took Kagome’s omniscient gaze to defuse the situation, since I’ve never easily managed to defuse Yaya myself when she’s backed herself into a corner in a moment of confrontation. Great stuff, more so for the nod to Kagome’s scene with Nagisa crying in the piano room in the anime, where once again, Kagome saw straight through to the truth of the matter, even though Nagisa herself was blind to it. As much as Yaya may hate her, Kaname really was hurting too, and I’m glad someone was there to point that out to the Nanto girl.

I’m impressed with Nagisa’s level of maturity throughout all this. While she isn’t a member of the Souma club, and hasn’t seen (most of) the things that the others have to give her the same point of reference, Nagisa really has come on leaps and bounds, hasn’t she? Her calm removal of Yaya, her wise words to a shell-shocked Tamao... This is not the Nagisa from the anime. This is a Nagisa very definitely capable of the maturely conducted relationship you portray between her and Shizuma now. Wonderful to see reasons outside their time together, from which you can reinforce the belief that they really can make that future together work.

Of course, this wouldn’t be a Suzume CA production if we were discussing fundamental ethical questions one at a time, no... At the same time as highlighting the potential for one’s environment to influence their sexuality, you’re also waxing lyrical on the difference between taking comfort, and taking liberty... A very nice parallel discussion, that while perhaps jarring on the surface, complement each other beautifully. Sure, we’re back at Chikaru’s boobs, (not a bad place to be, let’s be fair... :p) but while relating Tamao’s attempts at self-consolation, (ever see the Cruise and Kidman film, Eyes Wide Shut? There’s a very relevant scene where a woman makes a pass at her family doctor, immediately after he informs her that her father has died – Freud was a sick fuck, but much of his theory is sound,) the scene harks back on some level to the same debate that trigger’s Kaname’s earlier rage. Tamao pushes her boundaries with Chikaru’s level of comfort in a subconscious effort to address her disquiet and insecurity following her loved one’s injury - is this action merely involuntary consequence? While Chikaru is her usual understanding self on the surface, should Tamao of known better? Could she have? We’re back at the question of whether we merely react to our surroundings, and to what degree we have control over our behaviour. Low level parallels, but an interesting chapter of debate, all the same.

I feel Chikaru’s pain here, I really do. How do you cope with feeling absolutely nothing when for the perceived future of your relationship, you feel that eventually you must do so? How long does one wait for such an occurrence to take place? I wonder whether another evening in Miyuki’s company would do her some good, since her nerve seems awfully close to breaking... Again, it’s going to be very interesting to see how you go about addressing the question of asexuality, without inferring triviality or glossing over the issue. You’ve navigated Kaname’s situation expertly, (as is little surprise,) so I have no doubts as to whether you’ll pull it off, but the manner of your mechanism for doing so interests me. What *will* be the final push for Chikaru? Will we even see one, or will it simply be a gradual thing, hinted at in the narrative?

All in all, another perfectly brilliant instalment. I’ve loved what you’ve been doing with Kaname, ever since you turned her on heel once that first dragon slapped her in the face. It seems that whenever Hazuki and Kaname fight now, great things are abound. I can’t wait till the Azuma girl is out of her hospital bed, and ready for more sparring :p

Looking forward to more :D

P.S. Christ – I’ve just looked at the fb meta around the time of release. I’d completely forgotten about asking you whether you’d seen Eyes Wide Shut then – and here I am making exactly the same recommendation again. At least I’m consistent, lol.

And as I said the first time – Kaname should have said it. God knows when she’ll ever get an opportunity to make the same confession again. Or to someone who might have appreciated it as much.
ninemil chapter 11 . 10/27/2013
So... the nature of sexuality, and the conflict between self-image and reality, underpinned by one’s own level of self-awareness... You don’t mess about, do you author-sama?

To even bother to debate this, in contrast to the happy-clappy yuri illusion we’re fed elsewhere, marks the maturity of an author, and the manner with which it is handled, the ultimate benchmark of their ability and grasp of the broader social issues that sparked the segregation of the genre, imo. The fact that you outright threw the pro-rights propaganda rulebook to the wall and risked asking that otherwise frowned-upon question, ‘is being raped by the opposite sex enough to turn to you to your own,’ is enough to warrant the highest level of praise that I can offer, but the manner in which you went about setting that question up, elevates my appraisal above that still.

Let’s face it, if we’re completely honest about the current state of play, the concept that an environmental effect could be the root cause of a particular individual’s shift away from ‘vanilla’ sexual preferences, is a topic now pretty much banned by the pro-rights movement, (particularly the fiercely pro-feministic minorities that somehow seem to verge on militant, and vocally out-shout the rest.) Despite the self-doubt that Kaname exhibits here being something that almost everyone within the scene that I am close to has admitted to having experienced as well, (albeit, usually for very different reasons,) somehow the act of putting up walls that the opposing side of the political sexuality debate would be unable to tear down, became more important than helping the individuals within the scene as they come to terms with themselves. We can no longer ask, ‘Am I in a homosexual relationship because I was raped in the past?’ ‘Am I in a homosexual relationship because I was denied exposure to the opposite sex?’ ‘Am I in a homosexual relationship because the media is saturated with images of a particular gender?’ because the answer may very well be yes, and apparently no one wants to compromise the strength of the side by admitting that. As ridiculous as this reality of politically-correct self-moderation is, we really do seem to be shit-listing such debate for fear of appearing weak to our opposing numbers. Not only is this dangerous, it’s outright irresponsible, as we’d be fools to think that everyone in the scene actually belongs there, especially given how widely reported the sexuality debate now is. To see a fellow author approach the topic through the eyes of their cast is an extremely satisfying thing, more so to see them handle it so well.

So, is Kaname truly a homosexual? Now that we have a potential explanation for her callous treatment of Hikari, and her desensitization to the ordeal she puts the youngster through during the anime and the following indifference-regret-apology-cycle that the older girl exhibits afterward, is it that much of a leap to attribute Kaname’s sexual preferences to her horrific experience with her father’s boss? Psychologically, her rape does explain her willingness to put another human being through the same experience so trivially, but is it also the reason why she would enter into sexual relations with her own gender, in a society where that very same relationship is ultimately doomed to end when school finishes? Can we even answer that question definitively? Well no, of course we can’t, and it would have been entirely inappropriate of you to attempt to do so. Kaname is clearly telling herself that this is not the case, but the key aspect that you’ve highlighted here is the destructive affect that having such doubts without voicing them correctly can have, and the positive gains that can be had by trusting others and seeking counsel.

While not everyone is a Souma-packing baddass with access to lethal medieval weaponry, and a perfect environment within which to wield and misuse them, it is entirely possible to draw more realistic, self-destructive or socially detrimental parallels. You’ve afforded a potentially confused reader the opportunity to see themselves in your work, and offered them a positive example of how to go about resolving that confusion, when our own rights groups are actively working to suppress such avenues, for fear of weakening their own stance in the media. After the darkness and rage of the previous chapter, the process of healing here was beautifully, beautifully executed, and the closing moments of companionship and camaraderie between Kaname and Hazuki at the end, enough to warrant a of creative admiration. Seriously heart-warming stuff.

Don’t get me wrong, this is a review, not a political message, but I must stress how rewarding it is to see a writer go out on a limb with sensible debate, when everyone else just wants to push either side of the argument into more and more polarized territory. I think sometimes the LGBT rights society forgets that it’s just as valid not to be gay, as it is to be so. Sexuality isn’t an absolute. Debate like this can only be a positive thing, to increase understanding and tolerance. Kudos to you.

So Kaname has gone out on a limb here. Okay, so every possible motivator for her to do so has played out in the process – guilt, consequence, etiquette - but in essence, she still had the option of walking away and simply locking those home truths back in their closet, rather than sharing and processing them when opportunity prompts her to do so. And to her absolute credit, and despite everything that Kaname has thrown at her in the past, Hazuki affords her the support Kaname needs, even going as far as opening up some of her own dark secrets as a point of relation. I know Chikaru is supposed to be the yuri-mom of Astraea Hill, but absolutely everyone in the scene needs a Hazuki Azuma for moments like these.

As I read the chapter, I found myself wondering whether, even with the level of intimacy and Souma connection between them, Tamao and Chikaru, would ever be able to share a level of understanding quite as compelling as the one that must stand between Kaname and Hazuki now. Kaname’s sexuality is a mark of who she is. Perhaps in many ways, at least within the source, it was the only real mark of who she is. To see her doubt something so fundamental to her, and then share that doubt with an individual with whom she’s been so at odds with in the past, can only be a testament to the bond that’s developed between them as they’ve travelled and fought together throughout the story. Sure, Tamao and Hazuki are lovers and friends to boot, but they’ve not had to overcome being enemies to get there... I’m reminded of an old adage regarding samurais at war understanding the man at their side or the opposite end of their blade better than the woman at home in their bed.

Hazuki quotes ‘someone has to do the dirty work’ in reference to their position as Guardians, when introducing Kaname to the term ‘yami.’ That they have each other now as a companion, to whom they may admit the things that they might not necessarily want to have to, to their lovers and partners, is a wonderful thing. I’m reminded of how awkward Hazuki’s discussions of her aggression toward Eve were with Tamao, and came imagine how much easier that same conversation might have been in this new air between her and Kaname. Kaname, who ultimately, has to be able to understand those dark reaches better than someone as balanced as this Tamao...

This gives us two strong women, standing side by side, supporting each other, while they go about the things that their role demands that others could not. While I know that the vast majority of readers come to our works for the shipping, I sometimes find the friendships and hurdles overcome by friendship the more compelling aspects of the narrative. This is one of those moments – the day the pride slipped away, and Kaname Kenjō dared expose herself enough to use the ‘f’ word. Great stuff, author-sama.

As an aside of this process, it’s also becoming increasingly obvious just how much Hazuki and Kaname have in common. From their heavily disrupted and uncomfortable childhoods, to their self-conflict over similar points of contention, volatile emotions and shadowy secrets, I find myself wondering to what degree coincidence is actually involved in them both holding the same type of Souma. I know the story has told us why that is the case, (or seems to, in reference to who ‘gave’ them their Souma source,) but the parallels running between the characters are just too numerous. Is it wrong of me to want to link their Souma with their backgrounds and upbringings? Perhaps there’s some obscure universal mechanism at work here that we can’t see, that defines the outcome of a person’s life, and by proxy, which kind of Souma they could carry, if ever given the chance to? Perhaps I’m just overthinking it, lol, but both seem damned and divine in very similar, yet startlingly different ways :p I’m glad they’re the good guys now, put it that way.

Either way, I do seriously hope that one day, perhaps after we’ve caught back up with the end of the established canon, we’ll get to see Kaname ask Hazuki about that night in the Garden, to see how they both react in reversed positions. It would be nice to see Kaname given the chance to repay the support she was given here, and have her not fail to do so. To actually be human enough not to make light of it for show, as is often the case so far in the story.

Koijima’s role in this chapter, and her willingness to trust in a child’s authority, when she is the adult in control of the class, is of course, something you will have to justify. In the initial moments of the scene, however, as Chikaru moves to heal the ailing Hazuki, I can well believe the Lulim senior’s seemingly calm reaction being compelling enough to get the job done. But with time to think and recollect, and without that calm nerve and determined tone from Chikaru, I’m sure the
ninemil chapter 13 . 10/27/2013
And just as I was mentioning the recent absence of the staple Miatorian cast members, ‘oh hai there, Miyuki!’ And wow, did you really just say that dear? O_0

Great to see a nod to the Kaori arc, even if it’s just to pop in briefly and see how things are doing for our stray traveller and her host. Her arrival was such an emotional matter for everyone present at the Hanazono vacation home at the time - it’s nice to see how things are panning out for both of them as more time passes. And since Kaori also has perhaps the most in common with Hazuki in terms of their prior experiences, it’s also interesting to see Kaori’s relative progress for the sake of drawing parallels and making comparisons.

Tamao’s words at their initial meeting seem to have carried some weight with Kaori, given they’re now corresponding, or perhaps Kaori is simply reaching out the people that she might have otherwise done normally in her own world? Either way, Tamao’s suggestion is a certainly a therapeutic one, if perhaps a little prone to keeping Kaori trapped in the past. I’m not sure Miyuki’s attempts at maintaining her 姉さん role are as well advised, however. There’s always been something inherently unhealthy about the way Miyuki ends up making herself indispensible to the people she cares about, and some of what’s going here seems to replicate that pattern of behaviour.

Does she really need to be reading Kaori’s memoirs? A woman with the same face, voice and name as Kaori’s lost lover, reading about their most intimate moments? In a house, where they’re largely alone together? Er, yeah. I smell massive emotional fuck up due. Given how unsettled, how absolutely livid, distraught and angry Kaori was on arrival, there’s no way she’s well enough adjusted yet to keep the correct barriers up around non-alt, alt-Miyuki. How Miyuki would handle any potential emotional venting that Kaori needs to work through is anyone’s guess - as well as whether she’s even qualified enough to cope with it. Sure, she is the one surviving an arranged marriage, (although fate may have dealt her a merciful hand with that one in the end, the build up would certainly have been no less harrowing than one might have expected,) but even then – she’s still only a year or two older than the rest of the cast. She’s short on life experience, particularly in the personal relationship department, and Kaori will be one massive emotional fuck up right now if Hazuki is anything to go by. And it wasn’t that long ago that Miyuki was still hung up on Shizuma, with her own feelings for Kaori ignited and frazzled not much before that…

Miyuki just seems to be skirting misfortune with good intention here. Much better, perhaps, for someone impartial to take the 姉さん mantle, even if it would mean visiting Miyuki’s home to fulfil the role. Just a shame Hazuki and Kaori got off to such a rocky start, since there’s so much potential for bonding there. Different types of people, I guess, but still.

It is nice to see Kaori something close to happy, tho. Perhaps she’ll end up regretting that fire and fury she threw at our original Souma traveller during the row at the holiday home?

That Kaori has open internet access via Miyuki’s place piques my curiosity, btw. What do you think would be the first thing you’d spit into Google upon landing in a parallel dimension? :p

I won’t dwell on the sequences with Ren, given the detail to which we’ve discussed them before, prior to release. I will reiterate just how effective the Souma descriptive content is, however, and highlight the level of emotional gravity for Hazuki, and how well that comes across, presumably even for someone that hasn’t read the Koihime shorts, and doesn’t know the other setting. If there was ever a kick up the arse to prompt someone to read those, this is it. Here is someone that means *a metric shit tonne* to Hazuki. If you care anything for understanding Hazuki and her history, now is the time to go and read it.

I’m still left with some curiosities after these scenes tho. For one, the hints of a change in Ren’s Souma, and whether it might be different in nature to the change in her clothing, weapon and voice. While we’ve touched on this elsewhere and I won’t risk the spoilerage, (oi hai, Ren!) I do still wonder if there are aspects of these details that you’ve omitted, to hold back things for me. The narrative does use the word, ‘re-ignited,’ so perhaps it’s the same thing that we’ve discussed, but… There’s the thing about having been in Eve’s presence, and I… and, well, spoilers. But still. Curiosity is there. You’ve certainly piqued my interest, particularly if this is related to what I think it is. I only hope it can be fixed.

But then who am I kidding, this is Ren. Course it can be. You couldn’t harm Ren, ffs

Oh wait. Then there’s the end of the chapter, isn’t there. Doh. (Yeah, discussing that without spoilers is difficult too… Ah well.)

Either way, she’s a beautifully constructed character, and with all the work you put into Ren in the Koihime cross, I simply can’t wait to see more of her, no matter how fleeting in appearance that might be. I loved the straight man – funny man dichotomy between Kizuna and Remon btw, and the slow, creeping realization that Ren’s steel was not a plaything. It adds to her foreboding, and the awe associated with being in the presence of the great Ryofu Hōsen.

I do wonder for those two. As they’ve aged, Remon seems increasingly less like her peer, and more akin to the 姉さん template. She’s constantly having to counter-balance her companion, and at times such as this one, even seems tired with, and perhaps a little irritated by Kizuna’s constant hedonism and fickle excitability. There’s always been fanbase speculation regarding whether or not these two will grow up into a serious couple, the way, say, Hitomi and Mizuho have done, and I can’t help but feel the answer to that question is likely a no. Remon seems just too different too Kizuna now. And her demeanour’s almost like she’s aching for a change of scene.

Skirting the language issue once more, exactly how is it that Ryofu Hōsen speaks Japanese? Let alone *modern* Japanese? :p

I note that it was Tamao who was the first to offer explanation for the feeling that Chikaru put her finger on for them. With Hazuki’s disengaged one-liner treatment of the subject, I couldn’t help but feel you were stressing their Souma talents to a degree - Chikaru’s definitely more articulate with her perception, but it’s Tamao that manages to tie reason and cause to it. In the mean time, Hazuki passes the matter off as an opportunity for jokey comments – while that might just be typical Hazuki, I couldn’t help but giggle at the after-impression it left. Hazuki, the ‘dumb brut in the corner.’ Sensitive enough to catch that something was wrong, but not smart enough in the ways of the Force to understand it, hence making light of the situation to cover herself, lol :p I’m drawing parallels that almost certainly aren’t there, but it did remind me somewhat of a line about ‘dumb bruts’ from Troy

I’ll skip commentary on the whole Sei matter, for obvious reasons, aside from to grin rather evilly at the way you dropped it. No one can say Suzume CA is lacking teeth and ruthless nature, despite the fluffly threesomes and green-lovey-dovey-magic shit :p (You know I’m teasing, but still – that was an evil way to drop a plot hook, lol )

Which brings me to Kaname… Oh, Kaname.

heh, I am thankful you held this one back from me, not only because I’d have seen almost everything else in the chapter otherwise, but also because of the portent the scene carries, and the speculation that affords me. What *will* Kaname do in a situation like this. Especially knowing just how dangerous she is now, following the incident with Hazuki’s neck. Jeez, it’s almost like Lilith tipped the scales on the previous issue to ensure Kaname would have reason to stay her own hand, and avoid doing something stupid when the blonde-fairy with the designer shades turned up. (Is Lilith prepared to work that far in advance to ensure she can still get laid by her plaything of choice without having to nudge the book, I wonder? :p)

This really is one of those moments where life can go totally either way, isn’t it.

Now, given we’ve had our fair share of nasty guys and counter-examples in recent updates, and knowing the kind of author you are, I’m going out on a limb with the concept that he’s not actually here as part of the Noriyuki problem, but as potentially part of the solution, witting or otherwise. I just wonder how dirty hands are going to get here, though, because something tells me a guy turning up who looks like a yakuza suit is not necessarily going to be playing on the level.

Just what are you up to, authorさん?

And why has none of the passersby noticed Kaname is running faster than the average gold medal athlete? :p

Keep it coming, Rain. Got good vibes from this one. A left-turn is afoot!
ninemil con'd chapter 12 . 10/27/2013
See, while the singing and silliness from the karaoke was fan-service of the best kind, what transpires in the final section is anything but. So many authors in our part of the bookshelf reach for adult content to do little but score easy points with the readership, or to fulfil demographic expectations, but here, you feature a higher level of intimacy between two characters, and use it to raise meaningful questions that stretch far beyond the scope of the cast and limitations of the settings.

When I went there, taking the risk of including that lemon between Nagisa and Shizuma after the end of the Ball-night argument, was about being able to believably represent the emotional solace that comes from sexual-fulfilment with your partner of choice. When I went there with Yaya and Tsubomi, it was about realistically instilling the sense of devastation that comes with a self-triggered homophobic reaction. I could only really pull either off by going lemon to do so. Here, with you, we’re back at the nature-vs-nuture theme that’s featured so heavily in your resent instalments, and once again, your presentation is flawless.

Sure, things are a little awkward and flushed in the cheeks as the clothing comes off, but in pushing closer toward the lemon end of the spectrum, the sequence opens up the possibility for Chikaru to ask *entirely authentic* questions about the nature of homosexual stimulus and attraction. She’s soul-searching once more, and doing so in a manner that juxtapositions the reader into being able to ask along with her, without feeling any lesser for wanting to do so. Why does it feel different for a lesbian? And by proxy, why doesn’t it feel different for a heterosexual woman in the same situation? And what does it mean if it does feel different for the heterosexual woman, but perhaps not to the same degree? What if it does, and that person doesn’t self-identify as a lesbian? Who can claim to answer that question with any authority at all, anyway? The lesbian? The heterosexual? The psychologist? The scientist? The question you present, and all of these questions that spur off it on the same train of thought are good questions to ask, and you’re once again providing an opportunity to ask big things without preaching some bullshit moral, or politically-motivated answer. This is not the work of an author on either side of the debate with an angle - you’re simply showing that it’s okay to ask these questions, and more so, not to know the answers, or not be able to explain, even if you think you’re the kind of person that should be able to.

Once again, for your depth beyond the genre’s stereotypical aspirations, you have my respect.
But the praise doesn’t stop there. I also love how you close this scene. Most authors, having gone lemon, or into lemon-bordering territory, would simply close off with further fade-to-black intimacy for the audience’s sake. But instead, you drop further insightful character development, and do so in a way that demonstrates your increasing familiarity with the source setting and its language.

It’s rewarding to think, given what Hazuki has gone through, that she is finally beginning to gain some peace with her self-identity. The use of the differing self-reference nouns to represent her change of character is great, authentic, (given the incredible over-use of 僕 in popular youth culture and boyishness,) and rooted firmly in the source material.

I still feel a little sad for Chikaru, despite the positive end to the scene, in that she never really seems to get enough time to explore her doubt when she’s with the other two. Something always seems to come up, and she’s back being ママ Chikaru, or the caring-other-half. She gets her moment of doubt, looking for reassurance and insight, but it never lingers - it’s always over so soon. Bless. With both Hazuki and Tamao now having fallen foul of skirting the boundaries, you have to feel for the poor Minamoto girl.

Annnnyway. Another excellent instalment, and very much one that sets the bar for others to follow. As varied as the content might have been in tone and style, once again, each differing element presents at their best. You’re proving over and over, to be as flexible in your writing as you are consistent.
Keep it coming, authorさん

P.S. The choice of songs? Fucking rocking :p
ninemil chapter 12 . 10/27/2013
While you repeatedly stress my explanations and conveyance are still at viable levels, I’ll reiterate my apologies for making less sense than usual. I’ve managed the morning without meds so far, but while my brain is certainly at its usual level of functional, my attention span is being constantly nagged at by my chest, so you’ll have to bear with me if I lose track of myself. I must stress tho – it is great to finally return to your world(s) for more :p

So when we left #11, my biggest question mark fell over the conduct of Kojima先生, and her acceptance of Chikaru’s direction, despite Kojima先生 being the supervising adult who would take responsibility for the accident in the eyes of the faculty. Thankfully, you’ve not left us waiting long before shedding some illumination on the subject, and while I can’t remember the exact words I used on fackbook, the narrative solution certainly gets the job done.

Kojima is a strange beast here. Delightfully eccentric, whilst still sitting closely enough to each of the stereotypes she might be referred back to, for the eccentricity to maintain its believability. Part child of the Shintō/Buddhist social culture, part child of the era of American intervention, and perhaps part the product of an old skool western D&D otaku mind :p Each of the three facets compliments the others perfectly, tho, so as she spits out those initial words of understanding and her following responses, she slides comfortably down a dialogue pathway paved by Japan’s socially-ingrained religious beliefs, Americanised educational social interaction, and western pop-culture references.

It works, I think, because to a degree, it’s so similar to the style of exposition scene that featured in so many of the Japanese/Chinese-influenced 80’s mysticism fantasy flicks that I grew up on. Super-hero school kids have a deep and meaningful with their unable-to-unsee, wanting-to-understand classroom teacher, and everything works out fine because the teacher secretly reads superhero comics in rest period, so knows the memes… Which works so well for us, the reader, because we also know the memes, and can laugh along with, and relate to, the teacher’s process of trying to rationalize the unbelievable by referencing it to their own pool of personal and social beliefs.

As I said on fackbook, it works because it plays the stereotypes, without falling foul of being stereotypical. You’ll only ever be able to play this narrative card once with outsider awareness of the Coven’s powers, but on this occasion as you have played it, it’s landed to the fullest of effects. A very competent deflection, if I might say so, on a plot point that might otherwise have presented a problem. You’ve very much made the mechanic your own, too, pulling in Japanese cultural and religious myths that are so ingrained, so under-written into day-to-day life and habit, that it’s completely believable that Kojima先生 would reach for them, even if you, as the reader, aren’t religious yourself. And while the stand-up double-act from Hazuki and Kaname might have been a little jarring without Chikaru’s narrative self-reference glance toward Hazuki, the humour is pitched perfectly, and timed with your usual uncanny excellence. I couldn’t stop myself from chuckling out loud at Hazuki’s reaction to the Bodhisattva line, for example :p

Speaking of which, I loved the feel-good factor to the refreshed dynamic between these two. Definitely a much needed pay-off to the darkness that’s overshadowed recent plot points concerning their individual backgrounds and struggles. I know I’m very much a Kaname fanboy when it comes to your work, but the enhanced camaraderie presents a much needed counter-balance to the topics you’ve touched, imo. Not that Kaname and Hazuki won’t have their differences again, and I’m sure they will, but it’s nice to see both gaining something from last chapter’s disclosure, given everything that led up to it. Trust was required and given. It’s only right that the narrative should reward that, even if in real life, the universe often disagrees.

I’m glad that Koijima先生 mentions Naoko, and more so that Chikaru then questions how many other people have made similar observations. You didn’t make a massive point of it, but I’m thankful for the acknowledgement that not everything is going to go unnoticed. It adds to the Eve’s aura during her period of time in each book, but also nods to the fact that Japanese culture is very much one where you neighbours know *everything* that goes on behind closed doors. It just wouldn’t have made sense for a goddess to walk amongst the cast, without someone other than the headline few making reference to it.

I remember you raising concerns about how much of your own culture had bled into Koijima’s construction, and whether you’d overdone it with the Americanisms. I’m not sure to what degree I offered reassurance in the call after #12 dropped, but I’ll reiterate here that you’ve pitched her fine, imo. She does come off a little brash for the high society surroundings, (I do struggle a little to visualize her as a woman, given the way she talks – perhaps I need to illustrate her to help fix it mentally?) but that’s her point of difference, rather than being a flaw, (I do look forward to her and Ren crossing paths, for example, as I can’t imagine Koijima holding her tongue, and she’s bound to pick up on Ren’s oddities, beyond Ren being from the great enemy across the sea.) You have to remember that Japan is an occupied nation, however, and that no matter how hard the country may want to cling to its traditions, the culture of the occupying nation is bound to bleed in. Baseball is the leading social sport, MTV is one of the headline TV channels, and the high street is loaded with US brands… Koijima先生 is a believable mix of that reality, and while I’m sure she might be shunned somewhat by her faculty peers for her differences and break from tradition, I doubt her position even allows her to mix with those that might take issue with her self-styling often, spending as much time squirreled away in the sports complex as she must. All in all, Koijima’s the perfect candidate to be, ‘that bit different.’ And I love her for it.

So yeah, while this plot point was one area I was genuinely confused as to how you’d make it work, in typical Suzume style, you’ve breezed it without even breaking a sweat. Pretty impressive work there, my friend I feared a much, much higher reading on the suspension of disbelief meter.

I can’t entirely put my finger on why, but as I started the next portion of the chapter, I distinctly remember feeling something of a headspace burp, as though the narrative car I was travelling in had just ran over a pot hole on the way to the next junction. I think it might have been the bold text following the line break, (the presentation of which, of course, makes complete sense in terms of the story and the lead-in line,) although even something of the paragraph structure and written style seemed to alter too, (shorter, snappier paragraphs, for example,) which came across as a bit of a mental slap. I remember there being a substantial time lapse during the construction of this one tho. Might that have been the cause? Either way, until the scene got going, I must confess to feeling more aware of the fact that I was reading text than I was before.

Which brings us onto the karaoke. lol god, you totally turned this one on its head, didn’t you, reminding us just how sneaky the Shadow Empress is, and how much game-face there is to proceedings on the Hill. There was so much to love in this sequence before the switch – from the one-upmanship between Hazuki and Kaname, the nod to the better years of the Kenjō-Kiyashiki pairing that got them so far up the Spica social-tree while Kaname very clearly reaffirmed her right to idol status, to the impromptu Tamao-Hazuki foxtrot, and that awesome Kaname-Hazuki baddass bro-fist at the end. Lashings of sickly sweet fan-service, admittedly, but god was it delicious

After which, sneaky-Chikaru was being sneaky-Chikaru again :p Yeah, I’m looking forward to seeing this one feature. Grandiose events are everything in Strawberry Panic, and it’ll be great to see a major production feature in your canon run, given the existence of the Étoile-sen in each of the original sources pretty much dictates that one must occur. But of course, grandiose events in Strawberry Panic also come with the staple undercurrent-storyline that accompanies them, be it Mokoto’s evil schemes in the novels, or the love-triangle resolution in the anime. One way or another, something else is always going on behind the well-to-do proceedings and smiles. I wonder, will Yamiberry be following suit, and what will your dark undercurrent be? :p

As an aside, perhaps it’s me, but Amane looks so totally overshadowed in terms of politic clout alongside Hikari, despite being the Étoile- Aînée. There she is inwardly bricking it over the concept of being in an opera, (even if it is a ‘light’ opera :p) when Hikari’s enthusiastic affirmation and giggles instantly seems to decide the matter, and rail-road any chance for discontent from her fellow Étoile partner :p Under the thumb, much, Aname? :p

So then, to finish we’re in bed with Chikaru and Hazuki. Now there’s a lot of good shit in this chapter, but for me, it’s this final section that stands out way above the rest, (I was gonna include the phrase ‘hands above the rest’ there, but figured that’d make it a little too easy for you, given the content :p) Joking aside, (and while I’d be lying if I said that the appearance of Chikaru’s breasts in any context didn’t make for a highlight, I really do want to be serious about this,) scenes like this one are a perfect example to other authors who publish in the genre, why one should include intimacy, and how to go about doing it.

See, while the singing and silliness from the karaoke was fan-service of the best ki
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