|Reviews for Titans North ::Scrapped Project::|
| GrimspyreOfKhorne chapter 1 . 11/18/2011
You said in your Bio that you value harsh criticism, and I believe it's high time you're held to that. I'm going to review this story on a whole, rather than the first chapter, and the one thing that strikes me the most is the fact that you stole major plot elements from The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Did you not think anyone would notice? The entire Catacombs chapter is lifted right out of the game's main storyline, as is the Mysterium Tremendum (i.e. Xarxes) and the Commentaries thereupon. And you had the gall to go right out and call the cult worshipping Trigon the Mythic Dawn. A reference here or there is fine, but this is essential to the story and is much more than a nod. You also said in your bio that you don't want to write something that feels copied or stolen, didn't you? Well, does this just not feel that way?
Furthermore, you do almost nothing with the characters. Beast Boy "Zero" only exists to act like a jerk and then get scolded by Spades, Triard does literally almost nothing and has almost no dialogue, and the only two people with any real influence on the plot are Spades and Raven. Sure, Leyla and that witch girl show up and do something every now and again, but their screentime is nothing in comparison. Plus, it's extremely repetitive, especially in the sense of Beast Boy Zero doing literally nothing but act horrible and get yelled at.
Also, mentioning Spades' dead parents and the resulting turmoil is fine. Great. Mentioning it every other chapter is not. Spades himself, in spite of you occasionally describing him as very patient, seems to get irritated at every opportunity.
All in all, some good ideas, but the story needs some MASSIVE reworking in order to be anything worthwhile.
| longhornguy chapter 2 . 6/4/2010
Ok I was wrong on one of my points about the first chapter you did talk about the other members... Sorry!
| longhornguy chapter 1 . 6/4/2010
Well, over all that was very well written. Well done doing your homework on all the Boston history and I like the building idea. Excellent work on that. I only have a few suggestions. First is that you should kinda edit your character a bit. The ability of aerokinisis and pyrokinisis is a bit much. It's just a little too much and he's just too powerful, I think. Second is that your other form should sometimes go a little crazy to add a bit of plot there. Third is tell us about the other three members of the Teen Titans North. That would be really awesome. And the last suggestion is that you make it possible for others to send you applications for the Teen Titans North and make a sort of like a community type thing where everyone could talk and do missions and stuff. I could help with that if you want but I would need your permission because it is your idea. I think it would be really popular and fun. Well that's it :) Thanks for reading!
| Spades Neil chapter 1 . 4/1/2010
*sigh* No. First off, Titans East you're thinking of is in Steel City for starters which is often believed to be in New Jersey. Second, in this world if you haven't figured it out already, the group is also DISBANDED. Third, I'm not basing this off the TV show. As much as I enjoyed the show, they screwed up many of their facts, like you FutureJLAMember. Fourth, turn on your messages or I'm just going to report you for harassment if I get anymore comments.
| HelpingFandomsOneStoryAtATime chapter 1 . 3/31/2010
Considering the fact that Titans East is in New York, to call a group Titans North is not a stretch of the imagination. I think you are lost. This is not the Teen Titans cartoon area.
| A. Padfoot chapter 5 . 3/11/2010
Alright I'm hooked!
There is something bothering me, I think it's your tenses. I have a problem with it as well. I maybe totally wrong but it seems like you're jumping from past to present tense.
Again, I might be worng. I'm still working on correcting it in my writing, so maybe I'm getting things mixed up. Thought I'd say something just in case though ;)
I love how you did this though. Even with an OC you still stuck to the TTs. It actually has the same feel. I forgot how much I loved watching that show!
| A. Padfoot chapter 1 . 3/11/2010
I like it. I wish I had more time to continue reading. I dislike leaving chapters unread...
| Aslan'sOnTheMove chapter 1 . 2/4/2010
Yay! Spades is a writer! I hope to see more soon. This is cool, you bringing your character to life. Don't stop. Great job! Kat 3