|Reviews for Together We Fail|
| Martin III chapter 9 . 9/24/2010
Here we have a fun little counsel meeting. I enjoyed reading all the ruminations on the workings of the game world. And I'm proud to say that I immediately guessed what Kane was objecting to, though Egress use being a problem in one of your other stories might have been my biggest clue. Nice bit of plot development.
Oh, and I got a kick out of the little clarification "(Prince Marth, not the Marth from Odegan, who was being blamed for everything)".
| Martin III chapter 8 . 9/3/2010
Another solid little chapter. The discussion about armor is quite amusing, especially Hector's little assessment, "Its good for the whole 'still being here' business in the first place"(though there should be an apostrophe in "Its", by the way). Indeed, Hector and Max's whole conversation grabbed me to the point where I couldn't stop even to check back on an earlier bit of info. The stuff about Max and Kane is definitely interesting. It all makes me wish I was familiar with Hector's video game incarnation.
| Martin III chapter 7 . 8/27/2010
The plot of this tale continues to keep me in suspense. So now we've got Max in trouble as well. I can't help but think there's a connection to Roy's problem there. And Kane's comments about stealing kills got a decent chuckle out of me.
The word "as" is missing here: "its jaw just Hector's axe came down,"
| Martin III chapter 6 . 6/25/2010
Honestly, I didn't enjoy these few chapters as much as the first few, but that's a case of fewer things that I liked rather than there being anything I disliked. Max's differing history with Kane and Ian, for instance, was a surprise, but I didn't get any real laughs out of the scene.
The send-up of Toydona was more pleasing. I was especially amused by the man in the audience's response to "No thank you, beer does not agree with me."
The latest chapter is surprisingly heavy, but I'm liking the complexities you're adding to Mars's resurrection. I begin to see where the confusion with the records could cause real problems.
One particularly confusing typo: "A passed a helmet to his cousin,"
Very interesting direction that you're taking this in. I just hope I can keep it all straight, especially as I still haven't played a game with Marth in it yet!
| Martin III chapter 3 . 6/12/2010
Oy, this chapter took way too much time to arrive. Had to re-read the earlier chapters to refresh my memory of the plot.
Anyway, the atmosphere of dry humor remains solid in this chapter. My favorite bits are the legend about the ships always sinking, and the wooden sign for the guild(I dunno, I just find it a charming name).
Very interesting plot point going on with Marth, too. Wonder what he's up to.
| Martin III chapter 2 . 2/26/2010
Nice plot development here, re: all the gang trying to figure out what's wrong with Roy. I enjoy the dry humor here too, especially the translation of the Fire Emblem series's lack of a resurrection mechanic to a real universe phenomenon. It's funny how, if presented right(as it is here), characters discussing gameplay mechanics can be very funny.
The one possible shortcoming is that the characters don't come through very strong yet. Don't get me wrong; they're all handled well, but I can't help but feel that the story would be stronger if there were some character-based humor thrown into the mix.
| Martin III chapter 1 . 2/18/2010
Kind of a disappointing kick-off to this fic in that there's not much to chew on yet. Still, it's all solidly written, and I got a little kick out of the false information that got sent over to Nintendo's side. And the passage about Max's being a born loser and adjusting that to his advantage is both humorous and a terrific bit of characterization.
Looking forward to seeing how this develops.
| Greyfore chapter 1 . 2/8/2010
I've never played either game, but I'm loving how you've managed to blend these two worlds/systems together.
I hope you write more of this.