|Reviews for Checkmate|
| SweetieLove chapter 1 . 5/27/2010
very pure, the ending was exceptionally tremendous, i do hope next time give more detail to the scenes and some more specific words but overall it's my fave since i both love Elli and Doctor!
| Jean Cooper chapter 1 . 3/8/2010
Kudos for this. It was something original, and I give you props for that. Though it was sad, I couldn't help but like it. It was eerily depressing, but in a way that makes you think about the what ifs. Good luck in the contest.
| JB Fighter chapter 1 . 3/8/2010
Damn boy, this is incredible! You are very quickly becoming my favorite person right now, I just want you to know that.
| Mage the Observer chapter 1 . 2/22/2010
Entry Verified. To be honest, I'm pretty sure you've managed your intent. However, might I suggest using fewer Author's Notes? It's distracting, and personally I don't think you should explain too much outside the work anyway.
Ah well, that's just nitpicking on my part. Good luck in the contest!
| The Scarlet Sky chapter 1 . 2/12/2010
This is a very sexy plot. Um, maybe that was the wrong wording, but it's the kind of idea that both seems really obvious and yet you know you'd never have considered writing it. I think you have a great shot in the contest, and it didn't feel awkward in first person at all to me.
Also, I was depressed. Kudos!
Haha. Reading your story makes me wish I was on fanfic more. With stuff like this, and characterizations and plot structure, I'm missing out lately.
| Awesome Rapidash chapter 1 . 2/10/2010
That was an interesting story to say the least. I can't sat that I've read a story like that in a long time. And while I could understand and picture the conflict in Trent's mind, the conclusion should have been a little easier to arrive at. To save the life of one that will live a long and happy life weighs out over trying save the rapidly fading life of one who has come to the end of her days. But then again, that's just me.
Overall though a bit confusing at times, I thought you did a good job and I found this to be well written. One thing though, Ellen is Elli's Grandmother, not her mother. I won't dwell on that since Peach already pointed that out in her review.
I wish you luck in the contest!
| Angel Peach Blossom chapter 1 . 2/9/2010
Wow... I'm not sure where to begin here...
Mind you this was written very well. The way you wrote it was very well done and I could feel Trent's conflict as he had to make a very hard choice. You did a great job on that.
I noticed throughout the story, your referred to Ellen as Trent's mother-in-law. Techincally, it would be grandmother-in-law, since Ellen is the grandmother of Elli and Stu, not their mother.
Now honestly, this subject was used in a different way in the last contest. Not that there is anything wrong with it. But, this subject is not a good thing for me... mainly because I would have had another little brother, but he died 15 minutes after he was born. So yeah, this is a touchy subject.
Still, I think you did very well, and I wish you luck in the contest!
| Tuna Sadist chapter 1 . 2/9/2010
D: I hate scenarios like this. But I do love stories like this. Ironic, isn't it? Ah, the old 'caught between a rock and a hard place' scenario. I personally hated a lot of stories like this. They always want to save both and end up killing both. It makes me incredibly mad. I'd force them to pick one because it's one or none.
Er, I'll end my short rant there. I love this story as it portrays a side of Dr. Trent that no one really shows. I really like this story, and it made me dreadfully sad. You're well aware of how much I hated angst. There was one thing that bothered me though. Elli's still alive in the end right? So, why can't Dr. Trent be glad that Elli didn't die during childbirth as well? I mean, yes, he did just lose the closest thing to a mother and his son. I get that he should be sad. Yet, he acts as if he lost everything. He can always try again. With Elli on his side to make him happy, he can start over. He can't get another mother, but he can always treasure the moments he had with her and continue to love her after death. I just felt that was off a bit. Then again, these are my opinions so don't pay a lot of attention to them Aha.
P.S., How do you make stories that are cheery sacrifices? I'm curious about this. Aha.