|Reviews for Spirits of a New World: Kingdom Digimon|
| xxRubyjanetxx chapter 1 . 9/1/2013
You kno what? YOUR FUCKING STUPID YOU ARSEHOLE YOU THINK UR SMART BUT UR NOT YOUR A WANKER WHO NEEDS TO PISS OF AND DIE YOUR STORY FUCKING SUCKS ITS BORING AND GAY UR JUST ANOTHER WANKER WHO TAKES THIS SIT TO SERIOUS SO GO FUCK OF I DID NOTHING TO YOU SO SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ARESEHOLE!
| Anonymous Hearts chapter 3 . 7/19/2013
When will you update this story?
| Rolochan chapter 3 . 6/10/2012
loved it..Update soon okay I wanner know what will happen...
| renamonreborn chapter 3 . 8/23/2011
isnt that a referance to the Matrix
| Echoes of a Dream chapter 3 . 12/13/2010
Well, I'm not sure if you intend to continue this story or not, but I feel the need to express my opinion anyway.
First off, this story is of a higher quality than many I've read on this site. So congrats on that.
Next I'd like to say that I do find this an intersting, and hope that you might continue it in the future, but that's ultimately up to you to decide on.
Now, I know this is your first story, so I implore to understand that anyhthing negative I say is constructive criticism meant to help you improve, not insult you.
I have to say that while the combat is understandable it's not the best. It doesn't flow as smoothly as it could, but I know action is often hard to get the hang of when writing.
One thing I suggest to help you improve is to not name the attacks. I don't mind whether you use something from the game or not, but naming them takes you out of the story. It makes you realize you're reading something, not experiencing it. Instead simply describe the action as best you can.
Next, while first-person perspective isn't inheritly bad it's not very...I don't know the word I'm looking for. Put simply, stories read better in third-person. However, this is ultimately a personal choice, and is up to you.
It's not impossible to write a good story from first-person. War of the Worlds is entirely written in first-person, and it's a popular book.
Ultimately, I feel this story has potential, and I hope that you haven't given up on it.
| Robert Donahue chapter 3 . 6/30/2010
dude this is pretty kick ass. cant wait for more
| Fergus Flamacron chapter 3 . 5/11/2010
Glad you did this chapter. I'm building up a much clearer picture of the whole Kingdom Hearts thing. As with the previous two chapters, I enjoyed reading this. Keep going.
Is it going to be Kari vs Renamon for your affections. That'll be something.
| Fergus Flamacron chapter 2 . 3/28/2010
Mysterious flashbacks (and I'm assuming a flashforward). Powerful weapons. Continuous appearances of Renamon. Disembodied voices. A Digivice. All signs of someone with a great destiny. Can't wait.
| Critter S chapter 1 . 2/14/2010
Nice story so far. I am a fan of both KH and Digimon, so I am interested in a crossover of the two. I can't wait to read more of your work. Take your time!
| Fergus Flamacron chapter 1 . 2/10/2010
Well, you've finally got it going. I'm please for you, mate. Now, where to start. Firstly, although I still know next to nothing about Kingdom Hearts I found it very easy to understand the section involving Rich. So points to you for that one.
Secondly, the Renamon section was well performed. Your Renamon reminds me a little of mine - a strong warrior, but one with a social life, so more points for that, and even more for using the name Rena, like I do. And I'm looking forward to learning more about this Vixen - will she feature later?
Silver Renamon, huh? Interesting idea.
Lastly, there was no need to mention me at the end, but thank you very much for doing so. Perhaps I might add a clone to my story called Rich for that (I name a lot of them after my friends, like Conor, Max, Liam and Dan)
Great start. Hope to see more soon.