|Reviews for Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic|
| Spring Sunrise chapter 10 . 11/27/2010
This is sweet, but you are missing some commas. When someone is addressed at the end of a sentence, there should be a comma after his/her name. For example:
"Good night Amy," I whispered, and she patted my chest.
"Good night, Amy," I whispered, and she patted my chest.
"What did you say angel?"
"What did you say, angel?"
Other than that, your grammar is pretty good.
| flowerspot chapter 9 . 11/24/2010
that was ... interesting
| EverxSoxShy chapter 9 . 11/23/2010
Awwwwwhhh this is soo sweet. Where'd you get all those stories anyway? I'm so tempted to steal them...But that would be wrong...Anyway as implied before, I really like it, please continue!
| EverafterDemigodGallagherCahil chapter 9 . 10/27/2010
AWWWW! Every chapter is sooooo sweet1!1
| 13Mysterious12 chapter 1 . 10/12/2010
I just have one thing to say...it will be brief.
It sounds like they just had sex.
| PurpleTea88 chapter 8 . 10/11/2010
This was sooo cute, even though I don't usually like Haimy!
There were a few mistakes, but that could be cleaned up with a beta!
One question: Wasn't this rated M before?
| LovePrism chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
Did this story used to be rated M? Because I think I was curious one day about whether there were any and I ended up reading it. So do you actually like the song "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"?
| Another Artist chapter 7 . 10/10/2010
(Claps.) At least you changed the rating to T rather than M.
Anyway, you still do your dialogue wrong.
"What time is it?" She asked. - you
"What time is it?" she asked. - correct; no capitalizing afterwards.
"After seven." I said - you
"After seven," I said - correct; comma, rather than a period.
The dialogue is your biggest overall mistake. It irks me xD But a lot of people do that, so I understand, but it is incorrect and if you were to write a story for a class paper, then it would be marked down.
I don't think Amy would cry, but I understand if she were to be embarrassed.
Anyway, I'm happy that you write for what you like, that being Hamilton/Amy. I've already said that I am a sucker for Ian/Amy, but I don't hate Hamilton/Amy either :)
| IBecameAsMadAsRabbits chapter 5 . 8/11/2010
Uh, yes. WHEN WILL YOU UPDATE? MY LIFE IS PATHETIC ENOUGH! HELP ME OUT! October 12, August 22, and August 27 are supposed to be HAPPY DAYS! Except for Aug 22. That day is NEVER happy...which is bad since that day is my birthday...
| Another Artist chapter 5 . 7/5/2010
Sorry, I had to review again. I read the other reviews :)
I don't know about the whole "M" thing. I mean, it isn't that bad o.O It has references, but it's not explicit. I guess, if we had movie ratings, it'd be PG-13 xD I don't know. I think it should be T, but in the summary, say it has sexual references. Usually, I don't like it when people explain why they rate things in their summary (ex. Rated K because everything is appropriates - that really irks me, because I could care less why it's rated K), but I guess this would make sense.
What else... yeah, I saw that most people don't like the, er, sexual stuff. Described it as "blech". But, ya know, don't let it affect you or bother you. People have different ways of reacting to this, and their ages also affect this. So, keep writing, regardless of how many people might not be into your writings :)
And... yeah. :)
| Another Artist chapter 6 . 7/5/2010
... Intriguing. But in a good way. I like it, actually. A bit different from the usual 39 Clues fanfics I read, but that's okay. I understand that they've grown up.
So... let me see. Um, you write your dialogue like this:
"You understand me so well." She said.
But it's like this:
"You understand me so well," she said.
See? It's a comma instead of a period, and you don't capitalize the next word. A lot of people make this mistake though; no worries.
What else... well, nothing else, except when you make everything in the middle... it's, well, kind of annoying to read, ya know?
I love the quotes at the top though; where do you find them? Very adorable.
I know not as many people like Hamilton/Amy as Ian/Amy, and I must admit I favor Ian/Amy more, but Hamilton/Amy is adorable as well. Perhaps not as adorable as Ian/Amy (to me), but cute nonetheless :)
Anyway, good job :)
| Schweggles chapter 6 . 7/2/2010
That's really really good!
| EverafterDemigodGallagherCahil chapter 3 . 6/10/2010
hey, i live near Lexington SC
| IBecameAsMadAsRabbits chapter 6 . 5/12/2010
M? Really? I like this a lot but if its rated M than it should be more..uh..sexual. I've read sooo many M fanfics. Hmmm. Thgat dosen't sound right. Especially since I'm only twelve...but anyway I like this. Imma add this to mah favorites.
| AquaLily1 chapter 1 . 4/5/2010
I'm sorry, I agree with Little Lobster, and everyone else who thinks this should be rated M... There are children reading fanfiction! Please, for their sake, change the rating to M. And well, the story was, uh, a little, blech. Sorry...