|Reviews for Connecting the Dots|
| EagleJarl chapter 22 . 11/11/2014
I liked the new version a lot. That was a good explanation of why the JLA doesn't mess around in politics. The team scenes were good, and the explanation of why the Hyuuga aren't reall into archery was intriguing. I especially liked the scenes where Batman was training Lee - having him get kicked around at first and then come back to parity or superiority was cool. The analysis of why Lee's weights are hindering him made a lot of sense and seemed pretty perceptive. Nicely done.
| EagleJarl chapter 20 . 11/11/2014
The press conference was fun and yes, Hinata sucks at lying.
I was quite enjoying watching Sasuke get kicked all around town so no need to explain on that front. That whole sequence was kinda unbelievable though: after being shot in the leg, Sasuke shouldn't be doing anything except bleeding. But, ok, action movie biology. Except then he fights off thirty guys ... Why were there that many in the area? Then Rancid comes along and Sasuke fights on the leg. Right now he's got no magic or anything so he should just go down but, ok. Anyway, it went on in that vein.
Doesn't mean I didn't enjoy seeing him get smushed though. Because I totally did.
Couple of items: you don't use tourniquets to stop bleeding. Once you put a tourniquet on a limb, your going to have to cut it off. You just want direct pressure-change the "tourniquet" to "pressure bandage" and you're fine.
In the section where you talk about Tenten and the others in bed, you drop in and out of first person a few times. If those are meant to be thoughts, put them in italics.
| EagleJarl chapter 19 . 11/11/2014
Really enjoyed this. Everyone got to be useful, discussions were to the point and moved the plot along, and (as always) you really hit the characterizations correctly.
I hope we'll see more of Hinata's in other than a GodMode capacity.
| EagleJarl chapter 18 . 11/11/2014
This was great. Tenten being brilliant to figure out her escape, hardcore about cauterizing the wound, bringing Kid Flash in. Loved it. Looking forward to the next.
| EagleJarl chapter 17 . 11/11/2014
An Uzi clip has, at most, 50 rounds. Did Sasuke have a ton of reloads or something?
You played Wonder Woman about right - much like Superman, she's dumb as a box of rocks when it comes to using her powers effectively. Instead of grabbing Sasuke and taking him up high where he'd pass out from loss of oxygen and his eyes would freeze from the cold...instead of going under the river where he'd drown...no, she flies in a straight line at a comfortable altitude. God, sometimes I just want to beat these people upside the head.
More than a bit of Deus Ex with the Hinata Spectre there. Well, there's plenty more chapters so I guess there's more to come. Still, I hope the other characters get to still have agency now that Spectre is around.
| EagleJarl chapter 16 . 11/11/2014
Have to admit, I skipped a lot of this chapter. Too many switches between viewpoints, too much exposition from Spectre, too much of Luthor being boringly arrogant. (Which is not a fault of your writing - you're spot on with his character, he's just always been boringly irritatingly arrogant.)
Anyway. So, Huntress is pregnant, huh? You'd think the others would pick up on that. When an unwounded female superhero tells you she's "not in a condition to fight", what else is it going to mean? Especially when she then starts puking and having scent sensitivity?
| EagleJarl chapter 15 . 11/11/2014
This was an awful lot of infodump. It would have been better to break it up a bit more or, better, condense it. I think the key parts were: chakra is spiritual energy, it was created to fight off spiritual entities, there's a spiritual attacker coming and this world has no chakra, so I brought you here to help. The whole "Socratic method" thing that Spectre was doing felt irritating to me - ther was no way for Hinata to answer the questions, and it felt like he went round Robin Hood's barn to get to the point which I think I summed up in a few sentences. In addition, the part with Mr Terrific (God, that has to be the stupidest superhero name EVER - I know he's DC canon and I still can't believe they did it) speculating about the nature of chakra didn't really drive the plot that I could see. A better solution might have been to not show that, and then recap it when the thing becomes relevant. Something like "well, here's the projector. It was really hard, because we had to figure out what this chakra thing was; our best guess was..."
| EagleJarl chapter 7 . 11/10/2014
The Batman / Sasuke team was great and Batman won it exactly the way I would have hoped - he fought well, fought smart, did the whole stealth thing...couldn't ask for better. His fight with Sasuke in particular was great - he was a great matchup in fighting skill, clearly knew more styles than Sasuke, came up with smart ways to deal with the jutsus. Fantastic.
The Naruto / Superman fight (is that next chapter? I came back to review this one.) was also great. I'm glad that Naruto was able to hurt him; I would have been bugged if it has been a curbstomp either way.
Again, nicely done.
| EagleJarl chapter 5 . 11/10/2014
Watching Robin own Sasuke in the illusion was just priceless. I don't know Karrin from canon, but having her break should be helpful in moving the plot along.
I hope that the kids get out of imprisonment soon...until they do, the story is in a bit of a holding pattern.
Superman and John's reactions to the ninja life were spot on. Well done.
| EagleJarl chapter 4 . 11/9/2014
I thought you said you wanted to keep a power balance? So far, Batman barely beat one of them, Robin lost, and was only keeping up in the first place because Sasuke was basically exhausted, and Starfire got wiped by someone who couldn't fly. It would be one thing if the Konoha folk were winning because they were playing Rock Paper Scissors and got matched up against an oppon who was Paper to their Scissors, but you're putting the most similar DCU characters against them - Batman and Robin, basically ninja weapon users - and then having the DCU guys lose. (Or, in Batman's case, squeak out a win with gear instead of skill, against an exhausted opponent.)
Humph. This grows un-pleasing. I hope SOMEONE from the DCU gets a clean victory soon...someone other than Superman, because that would just say that that's what it took, that only Superman could do it.
| EagleJarl chapter 3 . 11/8/2014
I was glad the you had Batman win against Neji, although a little sorry that he had to resort to gear. Batman is the best martial artist in the DCU and has fought DCU ninja before, so I don't think it would have been unfair to have him take down a Narutoverse ninja one on one...even relatively easily. Not Gai, ok, ut any of the non-jounin others. And possibly even a jounin if they stuck exclusively to taijutsu. (Which they wouldn't, of course.)
| EagleJarl chapter 2 . 11/8/2014
Having them scattered all over creation is a good touch. Also, I hope you beat Sasuke like a drum. He really pisses me off.
| EagleJarl chapter 1 . 11/8/2014
Ok, I'm always onboard for a BM/WW pairing. You're on LessWrong's faves list, so that's a good sign. The opening is kinda slow, but I'm willing to give it a shot...especially if Batman is a central character. He's probably my favorite superhero of all.
| mantimeforgot chapter 19 . 9/29/2014
This is one of those fics that is well-written enough that I allow myself to indulge nerd-like quandaries; What happens if Static tries to manipulate Livewire while she is in her electric state?
Nice way to finish the fight though.
| Jonny Napalm chapter 3 . 8/8/2014
Great chapter. The depth of the Batman Neji duel went terrifically and I'm looking forward to seeing how all the ninjas deal with the insanity that is the DCAU. Terrific material. Well done.