|Reviews for Digimon Outcast|
| Flare Phoenix chapter 2 . 6/5/2011
There is a difference between fast-paced and rushing things, and this definitely falls into the latter category for me. I’m still trying to get over the fact Brian’s parents sent him across the world with little motivation beyond “it would be good for him”, but now we’re expected to believe he did so without any sort of plan for anyone to meet him on the other side? Brian’s parents really come across as complete assholes considering the fact they’re basically abandoning him despite his clear objections to moving. Though if that is what you’re trying to convey here, good job.
The whole thing with Natalie confuses me. She comments on how she would rather be with her friends and not forced to follow her father around, but as soon as she sees Brian she is able to go off and hang out with him with no mention from her father that she is supposed to be getting a feel for the business.
The interaction between Brian and Natalie is off-putting as well. Considering the fact Brian knows people are after him, the fact he is just so ready to trust someone he has never met before. A common problem I’m seeing with this story is nothing really gets explained satisfactorily. Their first meeting is underplayed and comes across more as old friends meeting up rather than people meeting for the first time.
The point of view changes really need to be removed, in my opinion. If you want the story from different people’s perspectives, fine, but keep the change on a chapter by chapter basis (i.e. have one chapter entirely from the one person’s perspective). The constant changing of point of view just breaks up the flow and kills any possibility of the story been immersive. It’s particularly noticeable right at the end. Was it really necessary to shift the perspective from Brian to Natalie JUST to have Gatomon tell Natalie that she is her partner Digimon?
As for Gatomon… while I’m not entirely against original characters having Digimon belonging to canon characters (hell, both Taichi and Masaru have had Agumon) I’m a little iffy about the fact Gatomon seems to be her default form. It just smells a little too much like the Gatomon from the original series. In the original Adventure, the reason that Gatomon was able to maintain her champion form was because she was required to become stronger due to the constant abuse at the hands of Myotismon. She had to become stronger to prove herself as useful to him. Here it just comes across as “I really love the original Adventure series and that’s why it’s Gatomon instead of Salamon” (Yes, I am aware Natalie is a character submitted to you).
| RazenX chapter 8 . 5/9/2011
Good chapters and welcome back. It was nice to see all the digidestined united, you did a good job capturing all the characters' personalities. It will be intersting to see what happens next-X
| Izou no Kaizoku chapter 7 . 4/25/2011
This story just keeps gettig better and better. And you potrayed my OC Very well. Hope you update soon.
| dracomancer6491 chapter 7 . 4/25/2011
Nice chapter! It's been awhile since you updated this, but you still have a good way of writing.
| Izou no Kaizoku chapter 5 . 11/9/2010
I forgot to mention that I am the former 'SailorStarSaturn' and 'Voice of the Forest'
| Izou no Kaizoku chapter 6 . 11/9/2010
If you want, my OC can be captured and/or manipulated by the Agency.
It's your choice
| RazenX chapter 6 . 11/8/2010
Good chapter. I liked the use of armor and the crests together. The use of the dreams was good too. Can't wait for more-X
| coop97 chapter 6 . 11/8/2010
great chapter, cant for more
| crosswire chapter 6 . 11/8/2010
Darth! Your alive! Good chapter.
| breadbutterpudding chapter 5 . 10/29/2010
Nice to have some insight about the crests X)
lol for the turtle with the Scottish accent!
| coop97 chapter 5 . 10/24/2010
I forgot to add that my OC is white and he ways about 175 lbs. So he's pretty skinny.
| coop97 chapter 3 . 10/24/2010
If you are still taking OC's for evil tamers, I have one. I put a lot of details for you. BTW I was hooked on the story from the first paragraph, you really can write!
Name: Cooper Edens
Personality: caring and nice deep down, but dark, mysterious, and sullen while evil
Appearance: tall (about 5'11), short n' spikey hair (dark brown hair), ocean blue eyes, sideburns halfway down head, no other facial hair. Has a diagonal scar the length of his chest on his chest.
Clothing:black zip up hoody (hoody usually on head while evil) and dark brown semi-baggy cargo pants. Wears white t-shirt under hoody. Does not tuck in shirt.
Reason for becoming evil:while fighting a powerful, evil digimon in digital world with small group of friends who were digidestined, Cooper was injured by the evil digimon. His friends had to retreat back to real world but had to leave Cooper bleeding out in digital world. During fight, Cooper was separated from his partner so he had to fend for himself for 2 weeks in digital before being found by his partner. They found a way bak to real world and now Cooper is driven by revenge
How you met your partner: when Cooper was 14, walking home from friends house in city atbight, sees two digimon in the middle of an all out deathmatch. The digimon start attacking him, but he is saved by a flamedramon. Flamedramon dedigivolved to veemon and were partners from then on.
Other: Cooper was originally from America. When he and his partner find a way back to real world, somehow they end up in australia . Cooper is not part of evil digidestined or agents, but is rogue and on his own side, unless he becomes good or is captured by agents.
Personality: is not driven by revenge. Does not like being evil. Sometimes does not like cooper's decisions. Would try to convert his partner from evil to good if given the chance. Is mostly happy and optimistic. When Cooper is evil, veemon is slightly sad and quite.
Other:most common form veemon digivolves to Is his ultimate form.
NOTE: I wouldn't consider veemon evil. I don't think Cooper is evil, just vengeful and won't let anything stand in his way from getting revenge, even his partner. Though I would say cooper is close to evil, he isn't wicked or evil evil.
| RazenX chapter 5 . 10/24/2010
Good chapter, welcome back. Interesting, there seems to be more going on than just a digital battle. The introduction of the OCs were good, thanks for putting James in. Can't wait for the next one-X
P.S. What happened to the Next Generation?
| dracomancer6491 chapter 5 . 10/24/2010
I was wondering when you might update. Great chapter, good expliantion of the crests. Though where was Bill in this it makes me hope he's in the next one. Please PM me back.
| breadbutterpudding chapter 4 . 6/26/2010
Hope you still have some room left!
Name: Worth Lowenthal
Personality: Worth is very blunt and straight to the point, if someone asked him what he thought of him/her, he’s be totally honest and say whatever like “I think you’re short, talk too much…” ect. Worth is very cold, even to his digimon a lot of times – but he in fact gets embarrassed and blushes whenever someone calls him ‘nice,’ or when he’s trying to be nice back. Worth is moody, easily annoyed and tends to swear a lot. He’s also quite comical since without his geeky glasses, he’s practically blind, he can mistaken his friends for a park bench or anything like that and is frequently seen yelling at random objects… or bystanders. He tends to headbutt a lot of people when he’s angry. Ah… and yelling, Worth does a lot of that too, since he’s pretty stubborn and ill-tempered, he can fall for traps quite easily, is an absolute idiot, gets worked up easily and tends to go on all out with no real plans half the time.
Background: He came from a family of doctors and so was well off in his life… nothing much to that really. He has a younger brother named Fino who he constantly argues with- but the two love each other really.
How you met Partner: He was coincidentally watching a samurai movie at a holiday house before spotting some strange disturbance hanging out in the field. He went to see what it was and found Kotemon. (Sorry, I suck at histories…)
Appearance: Roughly about 5’9” in height and 135 lbs in weight (excluding the heavy clothes), he has long dark red hair which is always down but sometimes tied back in a high ponytail when working hard, he also has a frowning complexion and slanted blue eyes.
Clothing: He wears a white chullo hat and scarf, a black turtle neck jumper with a thick blue vest over it with fur trimmed on the edge of the hood. He also wears dark brown sweats with black boots over it. He wears warm clothes no matter where he is due to his poor blood circulation- when he was younger
he was mistaken to be rather fat with all the layers he wore, getting annoyed with it all, he tried cutting down despite he gets colds too easily.
Crest Appearance: An indigo sickel
Personality: Does not speak and is quite a serious digimon who constantly whacks Worth on the head with the message ‘control your stupid temper.’ He does not seem fazed at all by his partner’s violent nature for he is pretty much like that as well on the inside.