Reviews for A Trail a Mile Wide
X59 chapter 1 . 12/9/2011
this is fucking hilarious.
SpiritOfSherwood chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
Jesus christ I'm laughing so hard I think I'm going to choke!

Raping the "Favorite" button now for Great Justice.

The Spirit
CharNobyl chapter 1 . 10/20/2011
I read this a while back, and this was my second time through. Still just as good as it was the first time, but I think I can actually offer something constructive now. And, being that these are supposed to be 'reviews,' that seems like a good idea.

First and foremost, the perspective makes sense: Shepard might be a war hero/savior of the galaxy and all manner of other positive things, but she's also got a roster of teammates that most militaries would have sectioned. The fact that Shepard only takes two of them off the ship at any given time seems less like an arbitrary gameplay mechanic and more like a means of rescuing whatever station/planet she docks at from getting leveled by her merry band of dysfunctional madmen.

As far as criticism goes...let's see...

I know that Kelly tends to be written off as the ship's communal bicycle (everyone gets a ride), but that just makes her act of launching an interspecies orgy in a public place seem...predictable. You can find "The Adventures of Kelly Chambers: Intergalactic Super Whore" for a dime a dozen, and it just feels spent by now.

Shepard solving a problem by headbutting it was good. Hell, that's practically canon given the Renegade interrupt during Grunt's companion mission. It stands to reason that she'd only apply it *more* when drunk out of her mind.

Mordin's bit reminded me of a panel from 'Order of the Stick,' specifically when one side character tries to call his companion for aide by screaming, "Help! Whore attack!" I enjoyed it then, and I enjoy this now. I'm not entirely sure how an STD investigation turned into a riot, though.

The same sort of confusion surfaces for Tali/the engineering crew. If Tali was offended by Shepard seemingly questioning her engineering prowess, I would've expected that she'd do something to try and prove her wrong, like cobbling together a dangerous mech or something. As it stands, a drunken joyride in a hovertank just seems...unrelated, like demonstrating your ability to chug a six-pack to disprove an allegation about your higher-level math skills.

I think EDI/Legion could've been messed with a bit more. Legion even compared drugs/narcotics in organics to overclocking for machines. Toss in the detail of either of them lowering firewalls or something, and then you've got one/both of them sitting quietly in a corner of the Normandy in debug mode, the lesson of the day being knowledge of what an organic hangover feels like.

As a final note, I only just realized that Miranda and Jacob are both mysteriously absent. I would've thought that the two would have been easy targets for a mutual drunken mistake and subsequent hasty agreement to never bring it up again. They're ex's, after all. That's practically a ground-ball for you as a writer.

But nitpicking aside, great story. Had fun with it the first time over, and just as much the second time.
Zaheed chapter 1 . 10/16/2011
Where the bloody hell am I in this story? Just because I'm a DLC character doesn't mean I should be goddam ignored! Oh, forget it, we'll talk more later.

Goddam fanfic writers...
Tiresias-135 chapter 1 . 10/12/2011
"Actually, she's still on the ship. I heard Samara convinced her to try meditating."

Best line of this extremely hilarious fic
Knadan chapter 1 . 10/2/2011
I don't know what exactly I just read, but man, that was a hoot!

You sir,have a sense have humor that needs no improvement, keep this quality of work up!
Loethlin chapter 1 . 9/29/2011
"I sure the hell can, Commander."

You turned EDI into Spock in Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (aka The One With The Whales).

Not that I mind, every time I was wondering about it, I was getting the exact same result.

This was fun. Awesome fun, really.

I was standing on a bridge when Tali came to me

Her eyes were full of tears, she said, Shepard, can't you see?

The ship is gonna blow, do something, I beseach

I grabbed a Fornax and some Eezo

And stopped the Drive Core breach
Blood-Hawk-531 chapter 1 . 9/12/2011
*hysterical laughter*

You sir, are officially awesome. This right here is comedic GOLD.
xbamxheartagramx chapter 1 . 7/21/2011
I'll never be able to say damn skippy again without laughing. Loved it!
WraithRune chapter 1 . 5/16/2011
OMG... the wacky crew of ME2...
NovemberNow chapter 1 . 4/13/2011
My God, this, this is utterly hilarious! I crack up every time I re-read this!
Alynnidalar from TV Tropes chapter 1 . 1/17/2011
This is, without a doubt, one of the funniest things I've ever read. For some bizarre reason, I've done a lot of quick crackfics about what happens when the Normandy's crew goes on shore leave, but this-THIS-is just so far beyond anything I ever imagined. BRILLIANT!
syned chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
Oh hilarity! Good stuff.
Viking Eggplant chapter 1 . 12/15/2010
Holy Frick! This really made me laugh! Thanks so much for posting this!
Sideris chapter 1 . 12/13/2010
Glorious.
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