|Reviews for Not So Troublesome|
| A Fire in the Attic chapter 6 . 10/26/2012
Anyway this was cute. :)
| angrywolfgirl chapter 6 . 5/9/2012
| SpeedDemon315 chapter 6 . 1/2/2012
Hm, I thought I had reviewed the last two chapters but apparently, I didn't. Gah, like I said before, so sorry for taking so long! And about those battle scenes...yeah, those might come after a reeeaaaalllly long time. Unless you could tell exactly what you had in mind. XP
Anyway, the last two chapters were quite cute and I loved how Sakura and Temari were squealing over Temari's engagement. Those boys aren't going to know what hit them once they're through with all that planning.
Keep on writing!
| KaoticKayla-Chan R.I.P PAUL chapter 6 . 4/9/2011
OMG NO NO NO! You cant end it there! lol unacceptable! need more! *twitch twitch*
| KaoticKayla-Chan R.I.P PAUL chapter 5 . 4/9/2011
Long Time no review . I love the humor in this XD funnnny! poor Deidara
| AppleL0V3R chapter 2 . 3/19/2011
Lol. "In the morning, Shikamaru woke to the smell of something burning. 'Dammit, she tried to cook again.'" Love that line the best.
Are all your chapters going to be this long? (nothing wrong with the length, a chapter is however long or short the author wants it to be or the story demands it to be)
And err, I know you went back and redid this chapter but methinks you need to do some revising grammar wise, there so minor mistakes that you'll catch pretty easily.
At any rate, awesome chapter (loves it and can't wait to see what happens next) and hopefully I get to the next one tonight if not tomorrow.
| AppleL0V3R chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
I told you I would read it didn't I? Well, I'm not as big or as awesome reviewer as you are (I normally don't review every chapter) but I'm willing to make an exception.
You totally have Shikamaru pegged and I liked this first chapter. And not to sound mean or anything you did a great job but I think you could use a few stronger verbs (i.e. not so many 'to be' verbs). Again hope that doesn't sound mean.
Now on to the next chapter!
| SpeedDemon315 chapter 2 . 6/20/2010
Yep, I saw improvements with both chapters-keep up the good work! And I look forward to the revised versions of ch.3-5. :)
Meanwhile, I better prepare myself for that battle scene...
| SpeedDemon315 chapter 4 . 6/3/2010
Like I said in our PM conversation, I would read this story to help you work on your fight scene. I know you mentioned previously that you would redo some of the chapters so before you start revamping everything, I'll restate some critiques that A. E. Stover and DarkSacredJewelXoX made in their reviews for you to consider.
First off, you could use plenty of descriptions for all of the characters and the scenery. Paint a picture in all your readers' mind; we want to see the chapter flow out like a film. Also characterization is another key factor that ties into the description of characters-this is vital if you want to improve your writing.
I must admit, there were times where I felt some of the characters were OOC, like Shikamaru and Deidara. Especially Deidara. No offense, but in the last chapter, his dialogue with both Temari and Shikamaru just seemed...laughable. Perhaps when he's talking with Shikamaru, instead of yelling at him, make Deidara speak in a deadly, cold, and tense tone that is CLOSE to a yelling point. Or maybe have him yell but in a caustic, vehement way that doesn’t sound childish. Describe and elaborate on Deidara’s feelings for Temari, show how much his heart his torn apart every time he sees Temari with Shikamaru. Make us sympathize with his unrequited love, make all the die-hard Deidara lovers or those who have a soft spot for him agonize over who should Temari choose: Shikamaru or Deidara?
Both A. E. Stover and DarkSacredJewelXoX made comments about minor errors like punctuation, sentence structure so I won’t spend too much time on that. Simply reread your chapter before posting or have someone else proofread your work. Just a suggestion.
A. E. Stover and DarkSacredJewelXoX pretty much have everything covered, there’s nothing else I would like to add. They summed their points out nicely. Feel free to let me know if you have any questions.
| Deidarakiller chapter 4 . 5/4/2010
hey great story i luv it really
| the-english-rain-is-falling chapter 3 . 4/28/2010
I loved it! it put an interesting twist when Skikamru said he wasnt going to marry Temari. Please finish.
| CU Administration chapter 1 . 4/12/2010
Kay so Gaara is getting married to Sakura yay! I like that pairing. You gave us background information so we know that Temari and Shikamaru have been dating two years which is needed.
I think you have Shikamaru really in character at the beginning. I do think the way he backed down from Temari didn't really fit the way he usually would though.
You didn't give us characterization meaning you didn't describe how the characters looked or anything like that. We need details on that as it makes the story flow better.
Instead of announcing that you're doing a flashback, just put the flashback in italics and let the sentence before inform the readers that it's changing to a flashback without exactly out right saying it.
Kay, you told us how Sakura and Gaara ended up together which is good along with Temari and Shikamaru, but I think that you can elaborate on what happened to Sakura's love for Sasuke.
How old are they in this fic? They must be adults since people are getting married and having youngins lol. Over all, it's not a bad start, minor punctuation errors here and there, but that isn't hard to fix. I think I'll only need to review this chapter though because I see someone has giving you a thorough review already and I don't want to end up repeating the same thing.
| Deidarakiller chapter 3 . 3/27/2010
hehe yah Deidara made it in the story but you need to have a part when we see him flirt. Update soon and I'm a girl
| KaoticKayla-Chan R.I.P PAUL chapter 3 . 3/27/2010
Truely a great story! you should hav deidara and shikamaru get into a fight! . wot Yeah CheryBlosom-Chan needs to go get sprayed by a rabid skunk!
| KaoticKayla-Chan R.I.P PAUL chapter 2 . 3/21/2010
hm whos the other character? please tell me! im anxious btw Great chapter as always but u shoulda tried 2 write a lemon XD