|Reviews for The Pandora Incident|
| LoneWolfAndCub chapter 2 . 2/3
Suffer not the Xenos to live.
| NinjaDork chapter 3 . 1/19
So far, this story is very interesting. 7/10 overall. There's some minor things you could do to improve story flow, but that stuff can only be learned with experience; you're doing very well as it is.
My only real criticism is twofold;
1) You break character sometimes when writing from the Na'vi perspective-they wouldn't even know terms like "infantry", "specialist", or "area of effect". It's a minor thing, but it breaks immersion when it pops up.
2) There are several occasions where the story could be improved by even application of hard science. For example, you describe a Na'vi being tossed through the air after getting hit by several hellgun shots, which is pretty close to accurate (having that much thermal energy transferred into your body that quickly would indeed create a miniature explosion with a concussive effect). However, when Tsu'Tey is grazed by a few hellgun shots shortly afterwards, the only thing you say about it is "a burning sensation". With proper application of HS, Tsu'Tey would have stumbled hard, maybe even fallen, and only after the initial physical shock would he have felt the burning.
| Reichtangle chapter 1 . 12/21/2015
VICTORUS AUT MORTIS! FOR THE GOD EMPEROR!
| Guest chapter 5 . 12/8/2015
Great story loved seeing the foul xenos being obliterated as is there natural place, only problem I had was quaritch getting killed again I mean come on the guy was a total badass in the movie just throwing him into 40k would make him even more so, his death was my least favorite part of the movie.
| Demon Hunter chapter 3 . 9/3/2015
One sided engagements of technologically superior forces against far inferior adversaries. I LOVE IT! :D This is the kind of "guilty pleasure" story I love. Other stories like this I have read in the past are so tame. I am glad to see that you don't hold back. Both the Emperor and Khorne are pleased by the spilling of xeno blood.
Purge the aliens! Blood for the blood god! Skulls for the skull throne! :D
| Demon Hunter chapter 2 . 9/3/2015
I was skeptical at first in your choice of Space Marine chapter. I personally would have gone with the Space Wolves or the Blood Angles. As a personal bias, I would have also nominated the Imperial Fists for their extensive use of siege weaponry or the Salamanders with their heavy flamers (Na'vi BBQ anyone?). But seeing as how well the Raven Guard have performed so far, I am nothing short of impressed. Your choice was a very good one.
Good job in your story telling. This is a great "guilty pleasure" story.
As a side question. Are the imperial guardsmen wearing gas masks? I know the Steel Legion have them, but what of the Cadians? Your first two chapters don't make mention of the imperials acknowledging the unbreathable atmosphere or the need for the troops to have masks.
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/21/2015
Fuck yeah, the Raven Guard!
| SpecH82 chapter 7 . 9/22/2014
Hmm this was quite good, better than I thought it would be, to be completely honest! Soon Tau huh, that can't be good!
| SpecH82 chapter 1 . 9/22/2014
Now I don't see a way for the Nav'vi to survive the coming storm, I mean birds versus orbital superiority and exterminatus or space marines versus uh people with bows, I'm just saying, though I'm going to read trough this to see how you work it all out!
| GenghisQuan chapter 7 . 7/10/2014
Good stuff, yo.
Pretty film was pretty, but also hella preachy, and this was a good counterpoint to that.
| Ilniaj chapter 4 . 6/6/2013
It's great. But there's one problem, I noticed that bows could pierce the Guardsman Flak Armor. I know that it has a reputation of being a "T-Shirt" but Flak Armor is actually 10 times better than any body armor that's used today. It would certainly be able to stop an arrow.
| Commissar Critical chapter 4 . 4/9/2013
The arrogance of the xenos is disgusting.
| Guest chapter 5 . 1/3/2013
The only thing that could have made this chapter better is more chainswords.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/2/2013
Love it. Brilliantly written, and obvious attention paid to detail. Terrific work.
| curious viewer chapter 1 . 11/22/2012
so, are the na'vi really having a chance? most of the stories with this concept start stomping them in the first chapter, but maybe you decided to make a better plot. i do hope so, because your writing is pleasant to read, and i think i'm going to check out that other story you spoke about in the introduction as well.