|Reviews for Unusual Workings: Destiny|
| braden.rucinski chapter 1 . 7/17/2012
Hi Valleygoat! D my critique might seem odd, but here it is-
1) Nicely done! I could visualize it! I loved this show and you really kept the characters in character :D
2) Uh, those chunky block paragraphs...are killer. As in, killing my eyes D: Maybe you set it up this way so you could fit everything on the page. If that's the case, continue with a new chapter! lol. But it totally doesn't do justice to your writing. I would suggest that you make a habit of making a new paragraph (most of the time) after dialogue, or when it begins.
3) "Kuabara has on a pair of dark blue almost black jeans, a blue t-shirt and a white over shirt unbuttoned over that; his carrot colored hair in the same unusual 'Elvis' style" AWESOMENESS!
4) "I had a visitor, a short old geezer; kind of reminded me a bit of a toad to come to think about it." -great dialogue
Summing things up-stick to your strengths. Like dialogue and description. Why don't you throw some fighting or action in there, since you are so good with description? i think you should. lol. nice first chapter
| Orchamus chapter 7 . 6/6/2010
Huh...still confused as all hell lol. But hey, heck of a chapter, though I wonder at Genkai's power, considering she gave most of her's to Yusuke.
| merlyn1382 chapter 6 . 5/10/2010
and that is were she is proven wrong the girl may have left by the time she starts her search
| loretta537 chapter 6 . 5/4/2010
this is an interesting story
| M3rky15 chapter 6 . 5/2/2010
I love Sess...And Genkai too. I wonder whats up with this girl...hm...Well, can't wait for the update :)
| RaiKage14 chapter 6 . 5/2/2010
(narrows eyes) why do i have this bad feelin about fluff-but? o.O lol anyways love the chappiee. why do i get a feelin all dis has somethin 2 do wit kaggie.. i mean, like if she died or summin... o nvm ill just keep mah lil idears 2 myselfses so it dont spoil anythin unintentionaly if on the slim chance i Might be right o.O. ima gogogo nowsiee (groans unhappily) stupid mom makin me take a stupid 1 hour long run... evill... o srry o.O bye bye!
| bulletproof trucker hats chapter 6 . 5/2/2010
And the plot thickens... This is getting so interesting! I can't wait for the next chapter!
| Silver chapter 6 . 5/2/2010
OK, I'm a bit confused by this chapter. Does this have anything to do with cannon IY or should I stop trying to fit them together? Good story though.
| Orchamus chapter 6 . 5/2/2010
Huh, I'm confused.
| Sable Scribe chapter 6 . 5/1/2010
Who is the girl and how does Sesshouarmau want to use her?
I'm terribly curious.
| merlyn1382 chapter 5 . 4/27/2010
so who is the lucky or in this case unlucky student
| SweetSnow01 chapter 5 . 4/22/2010
YAY! Loving it! I hope its a Sess/Kag pairing. Dont see many of those in xovers. Plz update soon.
| M3rky15 chapter 5 . 4/21/2010
o...I wonder who the student will be? Update soon :D
| tinabug chapter 5 . 4/20/2010
love the update. finally some action
| bulletproof trucker hats chapter 5 . 4/19/2010
Awesome, as always. I can only repeat what I've said before, that this is a very entertaining story, I love Kirara's human form, I can't wait for the next update...And, not to be rude, or anything, but I've noticed you calling me 'Gothic Lolita'...It's GOTH Lolita, not that I mind. It's actually kind of funny, and I just wanted to point that out...Anyway, keep writing. I await the next installment with epic anticipation.