|Reviews for True Face|
| Aylos chapter 1 . 10/12/2014
I thought Yukes reserved their true faces for intimacy... or something... I dunno, but in Echoes of Time there's an outfit that shows the Yuke's true faces (the Valkyrie outfit) and they're actually really hauntingly pretty. (MY Yuke was a girl, A male's face isn't shown apparently, but the male version of the Valkyrie mask is actually pretty epic!) Nicely written, it made me cry a little... *sniff*. Keep being awesome! :)
| The Arch-Admiral chapter 1 . 8/18/2011
Yuke? For a second I thought this was Ace Combat.
| SeoulGamer chapter 1 . 6/8/2010
It’s the one question that every player of Crystal Chronicles must have asked themselves at some point, isn’t it? And who better to ask the question than a Lilty-the tribe who understand the Yukes less than all the others, and who would be tactless enough to ask such a question.
The best thing about this oneshot is that is it addresses the effect that the Yuke’s natural distance from others has upon their comrades. In a way, the Lilty should have asked that question and dealt with the fallout from it a long time ago, as that way Yaelia might have trusted him enough to allow them to remove her helmet and help her. Then again, maybe it wouldn’t have made a difference. But it is true that the Yuke’s reluctance to reveal anything about themselves would put a strain on their relationships with their fellow caravanners.
You really manage to find just the right words to tell this story. Especially the beginning-“I asked her once, you know…” it sounds like the Lilty is recalling the events and reciting them to a friend. I know how difficult it can be to even find the right words to begin. This subject in particular is just the sort of thing that oneshots are for; important, interesting new views on the Crystal Chronicles world that deserve a story to themselves, rather that being a part of a longer work.
I will say, though, that you need to be careful about using phrases like “Oh my God” in the Crystal Chronicles world. Christianity doesn’t exist in the Crystal Chronicles world, and while there is Lady Mio to act as a sort of god-like figure, the tribes don’t seem to have any formal religion. So it sounds somewhat odd to hear a phrase from modern day America in the Crystal Chronicles world. However, if you do want to use the phrase, you can use the word “gods” as in “Oh my Gods” or something similar. It’s kind of corny, but it sounds less intrusive.
There is one other line that I have an issue with:
“Yaelia was...a mess”
This line somehow seems kind of awkward. The ellipses makes the line sound strained, as if you weren’t quite sure what words to use. I think that the line has more of an impact if you remove the ellipses:
“Yaelia was a mess. Her helmet had a huge dent in it, and I could tell right away that that dent was pressing into her head. Blood was dripping out of the sallet, and she was breathing slowly.”
I think that the ellipses was intended to convey a numbed sense of shock, but as the narrator said himself, things weren’t going in slow motion for him, they were happening all too quickly. There is a greater sense of immediacy and urgency without the ellipses. But then, perhaps you felt that this really was the best way to convey the moment. My advice is there to be considered, not conformed to, so give it a little thought about whether it could have been improved.
Overall, this is a superb oneshot, and a well thought out opinion on the mystery of the Yuke’s helmets.
I’ll look forward to any future oneshots you choose to write.
P.S Incidentally, how on earth do you manage to come up with such authentic sounding names for the Selkies and Yukes? I always struggle to come up with original, authentic sounding names that don’t sound contrived and made-up.
| S. A. Morley chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
*sniff* *cry* Ah! I'm so sad now! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :( *sobs* I need a hug! That was depressing! :( :( :( :( :( :( :( :'(
| Dark Amphithere chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
Wow...just wow. It's been awhile since I've read such a moving, lovely story...
I feel so sad for the narrator...
Interesting idea on why Yukes never take off their masks. I've heard that only a person that shares a very close bond with a Yuke can see what they look like under their mask.
Anyways, great story!
| Thy True Self chapter 1 . 2/15/2010
This was particularly moving. I loved it. :)
| Wind Paradox chapter 1 . 2/15/2010
Wow...This one just makes me cry. Actually, I thought about it the same thing as well. Of why the Yukes never showed their true face to the other Tribes; because I believe that they are afraid of being ridicule by others for being looking different.
Amazing fic you made there. :)