Reviews for The Carrier
PhantasyPhan13 chapter 5 . 4/21/2013
I absolutely adore this story. It is so original and makes you totally feel for the characters. If you ever decide to put original characters in place of the Smurfs, I think it could even get published. I was heartbroken when I realized that this lovely story was unfinished and even tried to write my own ending for it, but it wasn't as good as yours. If you ever decide to update it, I would be so happy. This is a truly incredible tale by an incredible author that I shall never forget.
Spring-Heel-Jaq chapter 4 . 11/6/2011
Well if I woulda known you would update another chapter sooner than I expected, I would’ve reviewed earlier. I truthfully didn't feel like signing in for I didn't know what to say and there's the fact I can't leave a review for a chapter more than once if an author has that blasted anonymous reviews off . . .

I must say I find this captivating and very much enjoyable. The brilliant description and some of the excellent vocabulary in this makes the story more intriguing. I must admit I really enjoy the interaction between The Gift and Handy. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if Handy admits to missing The Gift a little when he gets rid of it. I have to agree with “acosta perez jose ramiro” saying everybody ignoring Brainy when he usually has the reason about not getting into dangerous situations, it just feels so in character! However, in my opinion, it doesn’t feel in character for the other Smurfs to easily believe Brainy about Handy being a danger in the village now that he has the Gift. Getting back to the positive side of the story, I liked the sentence “Greedy, who was currently in charge of organizing all the food (a duty not everyone was convinced he should have)” in the first paragraph of chapter three. Yes, being the ONLY village cook who has to feed over a hundred mouths, he tends to hoard food for his own personal enjoyment, so you couldn’t blame the others for being wary about him keeping the village well-fed. Then again, nobody else can cook like him as proven in the episode “Greedy Goes On Strike:” After Greedy goes on strike, everyone complains about Hefty’s ‘sunny side up’ eggs during breakfast, Painter won’t let anyone touch the “masteurpiesa” he created for lunch and everyone ran at the outcome of Papa Smurf’s dinner.

Now, after taking a semester of Creative Writing, I have the habit of pointing out both the positive and negative side of people’s stories . . . For starters, when indicating a “Smurf” as a noun, like "As the other smurfs drew level with Handy,” it may be best to have the word ‘smurf’ capitalized if that makes any sense. For instance, in the seventh paragraph down of chapter two, "I went back there with some smurfs went back to the spot where we left her," the word “smurfs” should be “Smurfs.” The story would also be more effective if you don’t have a lot of passive words such as: “The brawny smurf was frowning at Handy, arms akimbo” can be written as “The brawny Smurf frowned at Handy, arms akimbo.” Or another example is “The five smurfs going on the journey stood on the deck of one of the sailing boats, under the watchful eye of the rest of the smurfs; they had gradually gathered on the side of the river” in the second paragraph of chapter four. To begin with, that semi-colon isn’t necessary as well as the parenthesis like the aforementioned line I mentioned I liked in the paragraph above can be written in one big sentence. For example: “Greedy, currently in charge of organizing all the food, a duty not everyone convinced he should have” and “The five Smurfs going on the journey stood on the deck of one of the ships, under the watchful eyes of the rest of the Smurfs that gradually gathered on the riverside.” Speaking of which, there is a difference between a ‘ship’ and a ‘boat,’ so the vessel that the Smurfs travel on water should be called a ‘ship.’ A ship requires a crew of people to run smoothly, while a boat can often be handled by one person alone. The system of authority on board a ship is also very clear-cut, with crew members organized into ranks. When a boat is large enough to have a crew, the members of the crew often work together under the captain in a much more casual fashion. Ships also usually carry boats on board, in the form of life rafts and rescue boats. These boats are also sometimes used to ferry people and supplies between the ship and the shore, since very large ships cannot fit into some harbors, due to their draft or inability to fit under a bridge.

Hmm, think that’s enough ranting for me, if I have anything else, I’ll point it out in my next review. Ooh! If you want, I could help you edit this story, I know I had fun rewriting those sentences that I presented to you. Hope you’ll update soon!

Read and review my stories!
Goldenrod chapter 4 . 9/27/2011
I just read this story and I seriously can't wait to not only see what happens next, but also how it ends (assuming you're not dead or anything if you know what I mean since this hasn't been updated in over a year). PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEEEAAAASE finish this; Handy's one of my favorite smurfs.
animationiscool chapter 4 . 6/28/2010
I'm looking forward to reading future chapters.
animationiscool chapter 3 . 6/28/2010
This was a great update with good writing.
wlk68 chapter 4 . 6/22/2010
Handy was always my favorite Smurf so I'm really enjoying this. Keep up the good work and keep those chapters coming.
acosta perez jose ramiro chapter 4 . 5/11/2010
Excellent update. Nice job with Marina here.

Keep the good writing.
acosta perez jose ramiro chapter 3 . 4/9/2010
Whoa. Intense.

Like it or not, Brainy actually has a point. He says the Gift is dangerous, and he might be right; not because of Handy, but the guys trying to get the Gift.

Keep the good writing.
animationiscool chapter 2 . 3/23/2010
This chapter has a good amount of background information. I'm looking forward to reading future chapters.
animationiscool chapter 1 . 3/23/2010
The story has a really interesting start, and I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.
acosta perez jose ramiro chapter 2 . 3/4/2010
Great chapter. Heh, Brainy has quite a big mouth.

Keep the good writing.
acosta perez jose ramiro chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
Very interesting start.

Funny how Brainy usually have the reason about not getting into dangerous situations, but everyone ignores him.

Keep the good writing.