|Reviews for Amata's Journey|
| Guest chapter 7 . 1/25
You should incorporate some romance between Amata and the lone wanderer maybe a lemon or an implied/referenced lemon. Also bit you should add more enemies such as ghouls,talon company mercs,robots,etc. You should probably add something later on like them returning to vault 101 for a bit and have like raiders find the vault and they have to protect it. (I tried not to write a story but I failed)
| Guest chapter 6 . 12/29/2013
Love it. However, you overpowered Amata too Quickly in the begining. You should have the lone wanderer teach/mentor her ,show her the ropes and teaching and helping her to not let kills get to her
| Guest chapter 7 . 12/29/2013
That bastard gave his own poor daughter a black eye! Update! Please!
| Guest chapter 4 . 10/21/2013
This is really good. I like the references to certain segments of the game e.g Dogmeat.
| falloutfan chapter 1 . 8/10/2013
I know its probably too late but...
I really hope you finish this. Im so hooked ive read it all a bunch of times and I need it to live!
| randomfofan chapter 7 . 1/5/2013
| devoutchristhayer chapter 7 . 3/14/2012
That's a fantastic story, but I think there should be a little more dialogue. There wasn't much in chapter five and six.
| Ronin Kenshin chapter 7 . 10/23/2011
this is a good fic hope ya finish it good work
| Kingswriter chapter 7 . 10/2/2011
Interesting little story so far. Like that we see how Amata level's up.
| Alavon chapter 7 . 4/24/2011
This is very good. When will you update?
| IrishRed5 chapter 7 . 12/23/2010
this is very engaging by far my favorite fallout story ive read so far! keep going!
| xJ4CKOFSPAD3Sx chapter 6 . 12/2/2010
Only inconsistency I saw was that Amata's radio was on but it seemed no one else heard it and she could sneak around without it alerting others.
Sneaking in-game with the radio on is a no-no.
| Vlad Taltos chapter 6 . 10/26/2010
I really like this story, your writing style is engaging and addictive, but there were a few aspects of your story that I think comments will help you on.
First, Amata. I love how you are focusing on Amata, and the LW is more of a background character so far. It makes the story unique and adds an 'underdog' appeal to the readers. However, I think she jumped from timid to badass a bit too quickly. You have created a strange new look on a well-known character, now run with it! The time Amata should have spent growing accustomed to the harshness of the Wasteland would have been interesting and helped us grow on (your version of) her. You should seriously consider going back and changing that.
Second, the stats at the beginning of each chapter. I have seen this in other fanfics before, and I don't know what it is about this one, but it just seems to fit. In others it was unnecessary and boring, but you somehow get more meaning into it, and it is easier to recall what a character's equipment is when it reminds you in the beginning of the chapter. I think you should keep it.
Third, the music interludes. also something I have seen before, and although I think it slows the story down a little, the way you cleverly match the lyrics with the story adds a bit of spark to everything. You could argue either way on this one, so I'm not going to say anything, what it comes down to is what matters more to you, the pizzaz of wordplay that makes the reading more interesting, or the interruption of words that the readers probably already know. It is up to you.
Overall I think this is a great fanfic and I can't wait until you post more. Favorited!
' Your Loyal Reader, Vlad Taltos
| emmathedinosaur chapter 1 . 10/17/2010
This IS good, but I feel improvments could be made, like one of the statements, I agree that she turned into a cold blooded killer WAY too fast.
Also, are we to expect some romance between Jack and Amata?
| Wertmon505 chapter 7 . 10/16/2010
it pretty good