|Reviews for In Your Shadow|
| TheEyesOfTheUnseenOne chapter 3 . 11/9/2010
yeah need to update this has real potential could go really far
| Guardian54 chapter 3 . 9/7/2010
Dude, FINSIH THIS!
I agree, John/Tali, James/Shana works well (what is it with Shepards and dextro-aminos?)
| TheLeagueOfExtraordinaryMorons chapter 3 . 3/19/2010
The beginning of this story is brilliant, and I can feel for... James, is it? I can honestly say that something like this should be a seprate story line on the actuall game.
Now a few of the problems; the chapters seem a bit broken, almost as if rushed. Adding more detail and having longer chapters involving content. Another idea you may want to dwell on is tring to find out why his new "partners" are
B) willing to help, either James or each other.
Add a lot of back story, one of the many things we love in Mass Effect! Anyways, if this would be continued on a regularly, I can see great things in store for it.
| Verdant Melancholy chapter 3 . 2/27/2010
another good chap. shana and james seem to get along nicely...m i'll leave it at that. for now
| The Eternal Winter chapter 3 . 2/26/2010
Im happy to see you like my reviews lol. Dont worry I promise to review regularly whenever you update. Good to see you have tons of ideas Im looking forward to how they play out. As for suggestions from me...um I guess keep up the good work? But if anything I would say just keep the course, I find things fascinating thus far and im very interested in how you will build the crew and develop james. James himself is funny and Im curious to see how you will turn him from useless to Hero. Also im curious to see how James will lead this team so far he has no leadership qualities and im curious to how you will mold him into that role. So yeah...that review ended up way too long so...Bye.
| Stickki chapter 3 . 2/25/2010
I like your writing style, it's easy to read, but no too easy.
The team James is gathering seems really cool and unique. Shrike in particular is really interesting. Hope you would describe Shanas appearance more. Looking forward for more team members.
| heavywolfblade chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
Great first chapter hope you continue the story can't wait for the adventures of James Shepard
| Darth chapter 3 . 2/25/2010
ur starting to flesh out ur characters last chapter i believe i saw a little bit of his older brother in him at the end also Shana Vythaelis is the turian of my dreams and hopefully james to
| Vect the Atoner chapter 3 . 2/24/2010
Interesting premise. Like the idea of an atypical protagonist. Start of a dysfunctional yet unique team it seems. I'll take it that direct contact with the Normandy is limited, with the Buttcracks merely either dealing with Collectors in their own storyline or somehow their actions affect the others. Somehow I can see them picking up even weirder teammates like an evil Hanar or Niftu Cal as their resident Biotics. While I don't quite see them saving the world I can see them somehow doing something that'll either end in disaster or ruin someone else's plans.
Like characters so far. Easy to root for in an underdog sorta way. Hope to see how roster turns out.
| Starmast3r chapter 3 . 2/24/2010
And Shana shows in her subtle way that she cares for our clumsy protagonist. Whew, he reminds me of someone I know when it comes to screaming from the tiniest cuts… No, I didn’t say it was me… *cough*…
What a lovely addition to this tale. I was glad to see some more of your great writing! So far, you still have plenty of stamina left when it comes to your light-hearted tone– you’ll do just fine. I was going to comment on the slightly faster than usual character bonds and development, but I assume James is a man who has not had many friends in his lifetime and would thus feel that these two would probably be his closest. And, of course, he’d probably be one who'd fall for Shana’s sarcastic remarks. Either that or be embarrassed to kingdom come with them. I think her derisive nature comes with being a turian.
Great introduction to that frigate we’ll probably be seeing more of. I can tell there’s some history between Shana and it; she wouldn’t be contemplating anything if not. I can’t wait to see what you’ll throw at them next and I’m definitely looking forward to that quarian you’re adding to the team… wait, male quarian… male quarian… ma- IS HE KENN?
Crazy reaper senses and indoctrination aside (it comes with the whole Sovereign act), I hope you had a blast on your birthday! Keep up the fantastic writing and, as always, stay frosty.
| theluckyshot chapter 3 . 2/24/2010
Another good chapter. I would say it's just the right length. Hope to read more soon. Very few error's to really mull over. Keep doing what your doing.
| Starmast3r chapter 2 . 2/21/2010
It isn't often that I find an original idea on this website. Heh, a vorcha and a female turian; I bet Bioware would be flabbergasted at that team. Just throw in a male quarian and a female batarian or something and I swear that some pig somewhere will start flying.
I love your writing style; it's informative and detailed, but your tone is quirky and hilarious. I often find myself smiling or chuckling throughout. I agree with Darth and theluckyshot on the romance idea; James and the Turian girl would make such a cute couple! Just make sure to describe Shana's features, figure, and form; we still have no idea what a female turian looks like and I'd like to imagine your concept of one. I'm sure James knows though with that Fornax magazine and all... ; D
So far, I am very pleased with your inception to this mind-grabbing adventure and I am strapped in for the RIDE I know you're going to send us on. Keep up the fantastic job and please, PLEASE continue this! I won't be able to sleep until you do.
| theluckyshot chapter 2 . 2/19/2010
Another very good chapter. The format has improved vastly, now there's nothing to snip at. Good work. I hope to see more soon. And although I love Tali to bits I think you should make the Shana James's love interest. Mix things up a bit. Anyway it's your story so I'm sure it'll turn out great no matter what your choice on that issue is. Hope to read more soon.
| Verdant Melancholy chapter 2 . 2/19/2010
lol well this looks like the makings of a great team. good chap you rock. oh the drunk guy was funny
| Guest chapter 2 . 2/19/2010
i loled btw a few times in this