Reviews for Life is Fleeting
D. Marshall chapter 3 . 3/10/2010
Usually I can't get myself to sit through more than a couple of paragraphs of fan fiction because, on the whole, it seems so dull and amateurish, but I was pleasantly surprised that your writing doesn't suffer from any of those issues. So far I've only read three chapters of this story, but I'm impressed with quite a few things about it so far.

First, the pacing is good. You don't dwell too long on what the characters are thinking or feeling; instead you show us through their actions and reactions. Garrus and Shepard are always saying or doing something, which keeps things flowing nicely and stops the story becoming boring.

Your integration of scenes and conversations from the actual game with newly invented scenes makes everything feel authentic, as though you've reinserted deleted scenes. I especially like the brief scenes told from Garrus's POV because they give a fresh perspective on familiar events.

I also like the whole idea of a romance between these two, which is a little weird, I guess, because I'm a guy and my Shepard is male, but if I WERE to play through again as a girl, I'd definitely pick Garrus as my love intererest. He's noble but there's a tougher, dare I say sexier (lol) edge to his character in ME2 that he didn't have in the first outing. So, yeah, nice work. Keep it up.
YoshisSupport chapter 10 . 3/8/2010
ahh i cant wait for an update either x3
Anonymouse chapter 9 . 3/3/2010
Awesome story. Great pacing and charcterisation. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Green Bunny chapter 9 . 3/3/2010
Goodness! How do you get these chapters up so quickly? They're so well edited, too! I have to say I'm pretty jealous! I'm completely hooked on this story. Keep up the great work.
Dvana chapter 9 . 3/3/2010
Very nice. I would have liked to have seen a bit more subtext in this chapter, but I ubdertand that you're booking it forward. Well done.
Misty chapter 8 . 2/26/2010
Thank you, thank you, thank you... you put into words much of what Mass Effect invoked in me on my own playthough. Great story, and would love to see more. :)
brokenpassions chapter 8 . 2/25/2010
Aw your space hamster is named Zip. Mines named Astro. I love how you begin all you chapters, flashbacks keep the mind sharp.
VoiDreamer chapter 7 . 2/24/2010
OMG yay! So I just read the past 7 chapters and I LOVE it! My favorite part is admittedly this last bit of fluffy goodness at the end of this chapter, but the other chapters have been equally well written and thoughtfully bring together conversations of both ME1 and ME2. Very very nicely done!

Voi
KSCrusaders chapter 7 . 2/24/2010
Nice to see more of your own dialogue in this chapter rather than just the in-game material, though I would've liked to see more. The ratio I tend to use when I do use BioWare's material is about 60% in-game lines, 40% my own, give or take a little, and I find that it works reasonably well.

The last scene was...interesting. I like the idea of Shepard accidentally blurting out her feelings for him. The part that bothered me was Garrus's reaction. It seems kind of abrupt. Or maybe it's that I have a hard time imagining FemShep and Garrus saying "I love you" to each other.
A.sheppard chapter 7 . 2/24/2010
really enjoying this story, thanks you for this. update ASAP. I am a sucker for Femshep/Garrus
TempestHeart chapter 7 . 2/24/2010
I really love the ending of this chapter! It was awesome and super cute! Keep up the good work, looking forward to next part! :)
Asirus chapter 7 . 2/23/2010
I am very much enjoying this story so far. I like the blend between past and present, especially. And the "Because I'm a Spectre" bit at the end of chapter 6 was super cute, I definately made a horrible little girly exclaimation of "daw" or something.

Keep it up!
Crimson Rogue chapter 7 . 2/23/2010
This story deserves more reviews. Srsly. I really do hope that you continue. _ I want to see what happens now that they've finally confessed.
Dvana chapter 7 . 2/23/2010
This is really wonderful stuff. I found and read it pretty much in one sitting, and your subtle nudging of the storyline in the direction you wanted it to go made this chapter fit. Nicely done.
KSCrusaders chapter 5 . 2/22/2010
I like the combination of flashbacks and ME2 events, though I would say that the transitions between scenes are a little abrupt, maybe because each individual scene is a little short.

As for sticking closely to the game dialogue, that's fine. Personally, however, I've always felt the difference between a fanfic and a game transcript was that the former uses the game dialogue as a jumping off point. You've modified the in-game stuff a little, but feel free to step away from it and write more of your own material. It would certainly help establish the personality of your individual Shepard better.
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