|Reviews for Tears of Hermos|
| Kingdom's Oathkeeper chapter 1 . 10/30/2013
Oh so cool!
| Guest chapter 13 . 4/25/2011
More chapters pleeeeaaaase!
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 13 . 5/27/2010
Ooh... I like this.
| Taeniaea chapter 12 . 5/27/2010
Very Cool Story
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 12 . 5/26/2010
Nice work. Duels are hard to write.
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 11 . 5/26/2010
Onto the next chapter.
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 10 . 5/26/2010
The reference was to Indiana Jones.
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 9 . 5/26/2010
Oh my gosh...you're right.
I enjoyed the chapter.
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 8 . 5/26/2010
My apologies for not reviewing sooner but...now I get to give lots of reviews!
| Kohaku no Hime chapter 11 . 5/26/2010
Don't worry about me flaming you on the duels. I never was able to follow it either, which is why in most stories you won't see me bothering to write out a duel.
Again, there are some words that Valon says that you don't need to shorten: then, shape, shining ("shinin'" is better), night, knight, fighters, neither, where, anywhere, chitchat, this, Wheeler, brother, that, and thought. Also, avoid using "ya" too much; use that one sparingly, like in description (ie: "Ya got some mustard on your face.").
But again, both Joey and Valon are marvelously in character, as well as Shizuka and Mai. Tristan made me laugh ("Why didn't we do that sooner?")-no one seems to think about it until AFTER they need it.
And poor Valon..."Ya know I love ya, right?" *hugs both Serenity and Valon* But now that I am looking at Shizuka, I realize that there is a great disturbance in the Force...
| Kohaku no Hime chapter 10 . 5/26/2010
INDIANA JONES REFERENCE FOR THE WIN!
I like the fact that Mai uses a magic card instead of a monster; using a monster is SO CLICHED, and it was nice to see a change.
Hmm, Valon's accent could use a bit more fine-tuning. You don't have to shorten everything he says; he can say words like, "think," and "she" (and for "the" and "right" you can use "th'" instead of "t'e" and "righ'"-ees better sounding and easier to picture him speaking :D). Other than that, though, both he and Joey are very well in character. Very good-your characterizations are usually spot on.
Off I go to review the other chapters (three updates in a row? Nice),
| Kohaku no Hime chapter 9 . 5/22/2010
Sorry this took so long. It seemed that every force in the universe was conspiring against me today...*head desk*
All the Kaiba and Rebecca snarks made me laugh, Kaiba in particular. I actually have noticed this before-Kaiba does have some Batman-like tendencies (the secret lair, the rich kid orphan, etc)...this only gets amplified in GX, when Kaibaman starts running around.
...No, I'm not smoking anything. There's a Kaibaman in the near future.
"Makes you wonder what kind of moisturizing cream he uses." LOL, I believe it has to do with the Orichalcos. Sorry, Mai, but I don't think you want that.
Anyway, great chapter as usual, Gwen.
PS. I didn't upset you with my last review, did I?
| Kohaku no Hime chapter 8 . 5/21/2010
*dances in happiness* An update! YAY!
Hmm, the biker gang tries to hurt Serenity? A mistake in the making, I'm guessing; there's a reason that she's wandering around that kind of neighborhood, boys.
Let me go ahead and say that the Orichalcos must be severely messing with Serenity's mind right now, and it's quite different from her normal personality. It's impressive, to say the least. Nicely done.
The phone conversation between Serenity and Raphael seemed a bit off, though...If Serenity was under the influence of the Orichalcos and she was in a bad mood, she might have answered the phone differently when she saw the caller ID (i.e : "What do you want, Raphael?"). Also, I don't think she would say, "Wow, that's rough."; remember, the Orichalcos is messing with her emotions and she just got done taking the souls of several would-be attackers. She'd just say, "Anything else?"
It also might be an idea to italicize Raphael's dialogue if he's on the opposite end of the phone, so that it's easier to realize that he is talking from a phone, but that's just a personal thing (you don't have to do it). And I did LOL when Serenity called Raphael 'Raph', though I suggest you don't make that too much of a habit.
"I have got to stop hanging out with you guys. You're like the mythical equivalent of Murphy's Law: If there's anything that's mystical or magical that can go wrong, it will go wrong." You have no idea how much I was laughing at that, Gwen. It's all the more funnier when you realize that it's quite true and that Mai has a point-it always seems like every magic item wielding weirdo targets Yugi and his friends.
Yet another awkward Polarshipping moment. I can tell that Joey's fighting the urge to start running his fingers through her hair or something similar to that, and you've done a really good job in general with the pairing (better than I could manage-writing romance was never a real specialty of mine).
I hope to see another update soon,
| The Duelist's Heiress chapter 7 . 5/17/2010
That was nice.
I loved the ending. :)
| Kohaku no Hime chapter 7 . 5/17/2010
Ahh! An update! YAY!
Valon has a Blackberry? Lucky thing it's issued-I'm fairly sure that otherwise he'd have a really hard time explaining why he would need a new cellphone to Dartz if he broke it.
Hmmm...Raphael's dialogue made me raise an eyebrow. Though he does appear to be somewhat of a suck-up in the anime, he should still retain a smidgen of dignity; "Forgive us Master Dartz," he beseeched. "Give us another chance and we'll bring back the souls you desire." I dunno, it sorta sounds like something Gurimo would say...though it could just be me.
Valon's comment made me laugh: "Told ya 'e's a suck up." It does seem that way, unfortunately. Like I said before, though, Raphael should retain a smidgen of respect and not sink so far to Gurimo's level (though now I wonder if that was dialogue from the dub/sub; if it is, I'm sorry. Been a while :D).
Dartz is questioning Serenity? And Alister and Valon too. The minute he started talking to them I figured they would react the way they did. And then Valon planning to take out Jou anyway for her-perfect line of thinking for him. Excellent job there :D
LOL, more awkward polarshipping moments. Mai really wants to see Jou without a shirt, we all know she does. And then the whole "don't you dare leave me stranded in the middle of the desert" thing made me laugh even more; we all know she wouldn't be able to keep up with Joey if she tried running with her current footwear.
Excellent chapter, Gwen,