|Reviews for Vacation For Two|
| Mr. Mew01 chapter 1 . 4/7/2014
This was very well done
also just to let you know Tetra is Zelda's great great grandmother Because Spirit Tracks takes place a century after Phantom Hourglass which is not long after Wind Waker
| Sinares chapter 1 . 6/25/2013
So cute! Loved this little piece so very much. I'm glad you wrote about them going to Papuchia to swim; I've been thinking about it constantly since Zelda told Link she wanted to come back once she had her body. Glad to know I'm not the only one who pays attention to the little details!
Some things I'd like to point out is that occasionally I've found that you have more than one person speaking per paragraph. In the general writing rule, each speaker gets his or her own paragraph.
Another thing that I would suggest is trying to incorporate their actions into their words, instead of saying, they said this, and they did this, and then they said this again. Sorry if that was a little unclear. Basically they have a moment of speaking, then a moment of action, and it switches back and forth between that. I suggest that you try to have them say something WHILE they're moving. It will be much more effective, and also much easier to read!
I hope I helped, even just a little! They are only suggestions, not criticisms. Loved your story! I will definitely be reading the rest of the Vacation for Two installments! Thanks for writing!
| Ashlee S chapter 1 . 4/26/2013
I knew it! That was SOOOOO CUTE! It makes me explode from fangirl squeals! Also, Tetra is Zelda's great-great grandmother according to Hyrule Historia.
| Sweatshirt Shiro chapter 1 . 2/10/2013
So sweet and perfect! Like if it had actually happened in the game! But according to the game, Link can actually become captain of the guards if he scores 900 hits, so that's an even bigger title he has to maintain. Poor kid... :)
| SuperSonicHero10 chapter 1 . 7/12/2012
This was a really cute story for Link and Zelda! Good Job! )
| Rich4270 chapter 1 . 1/11/2012
Now, how do i put this into words...
THIS IS SUPER!
Good sequel to the game we know and love,
Legend of Zelda, Spirit Tracks!
I can totally picture Zelda hugging link!
Very good story and I think you have very a good tenecy of writing good stories. Me, I'm just getting started!
Very intresting and quite good. It fits the Legend of Zelda enviroment!
| Jetzul chapter 1 . 12/30/2011
I really love the ending.
| Queenie Z chapter 1 . 8/14/2011
I'm admitting right off the bat that I haven't finished the fic yet, but there's one MAJOR formatting error you're making that's confusing the crap out of me.
When writing a sequence with dialogue, you ALWAYS make a new paragraph whenever another person speaks. This is to avoid confusion over who's speaking and makes it to where you can have short passages where you don't even have to label who's speaking. I'll reformat a short section to show you:
"Nope, I have officially been given the day off," Link told her. "Apparently Alfonzo and Captain Russell decided that I need a break now and then. So I was wondering what you had planned today. I assume it's more paperwork?" he asked, glancing at her desk.
Zelda shook her head. "As a matter of fact, Teacher told me just a few minutes ago that I was to not do any work today. He said that I had been working constantly since I came back from my 'mysterious disappearance', and that I was way ahead in my work. So, I have the day off too!" she exclaimed, a big smile on her face. "So what do you want to do today?
Did you see how I separated Link and Zelda's halves of the original paragraph? You do that every time a new person speaks. Trust me, if you went back and did this it would make the whole thing MUCH easier to read.
THAT SAID, the reason I'm writing this isn't because I want to be Douchey McNitpick; it's because I find this to be a genuinely adorable fic so far and I want to read it with proper prosiac formatting. ;_;
| f1reb1rd chapter 1 . 6/9/2011
I loooooooooooove this! I was looking for a fan-fic EXACTLY like this one! I thought it was too simple for someone to sit down and write well but you nailed it. One of my favorite fan-fictions. Keep writing and thank you sooo much for this! :)
| Honey and Darling chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
What was a lovely story! Very cute and well written :)
And yes, evidently Zelda is two generations down from Tetra. Like Linebeck and Linebeck III, and Gonzo and Alfonzo. Just thought I'd clear that up in case you wanted to use any information in your future stories!
| AnNyanimous chapter 1 . 9/15/2010
Lol I forgot about the swim trunks thing xD Really cute story!
| merrygould chapter 1 . 6/25/2010
That was brilliant! I noticed how you showed they liked each other without having all that, "I wonder if he/she likes me."
A very light, sweet romance.
Are you thinking of writing a sequal? You should consider the idea!
| ZeldaFanMan7 chapter 1 . 5/8/2010
That was a great oneshot, nice detail and stuff. I liked it a lot, thanks for writing it!
| MarcWinter chapter 1 . 3/28/2010
you should continue this
| gombo12345 chapter 1 . 3/4/2010
You make a good romance, just right for me. (not too fluffy and not to ...serious )
If you made a another story ( Let it have a tiny kiss ;D)
I bet it will be so cool!
Any way make more fun next time!