|Reviews for Shining Force II: Ancient Sealing|
| DrakeDarkblade chapter 1 . 2/22/2012
I actually would like to see more of this...seeing as I've never beat a shining force game. Too bad to see this fanfic die...
| Key and Lock chapter 1 . 11/5/2010
Nice story so far. I can't wait to see more.
| whatapapa chapter 1 . 6/2/2010
please continue, I love the shining force series and you are an excellent writer
| Demonic Weasel chapter 1 . 3/2/2010
Well, I've finished looking over this with the express purpose of making criticisms and comments geared towards strengthening your prose, and although there are a few smallish problems here, I don't have much to complain about, as of now.
The number one biggest problem is one of capitalization and punctuation. Your dialogue is incorrect in a few places, where you end the sentence of dialogue with a period or an exclamation point, turning the next sentence "he/she/it said" into a fragment. I don't have anything against fragments artistically speaking, they litter my own writing. But they don't fit here, because you're describing an action rather than an idea in an extremely disjointed manner. If you want a dialogue tag after the spoken piece is ended, use a comma.
There's a couple of peculiarly used contractions, most notably, "It's what made him a good ruler." The 'it's' if it was written out, changes the tense there. And additionally, when the minister says, "Your majesty," the 'majesty' should be capitalized.
Aside from those (admittedly minor) flaws most of what you have is of at least serviaceble quality. You have a good grasp on the characters and events, and although your style of writing seems to be fairly too the point, you don't skimp on the necessary details. In terms of tone and atmosphere, this is spot on with the game. There's not much character transcribed here, but what's there is certainly faithful to the game. I'd say just keep on polishing your strengths.