Reviews for Dreaming with a Broken Heart
Bellus Brit chapter 1 . 12/25/2010
Pros:

I really like where this is going! I like how it's Tawni instead of Sonny!

Cons:

I agree with UndeniablyMe, the characters are ooc. When Chad said, "I thought she was here! Where are you, love? Why does my mind taunt me of you?" I thought he was acting. He would never really say that.

But it is really good and I really like where this is going. Update soon!

Brit799
Tallipop chapter 1 . 12/23/2010
I agree! Tawnis my favorite and Chad together with her! Write more like this! :)
UndeniablyMe chapter 1 . 2/23/2010
Okay, so here's what I have to say.

I liked the overall idea of this fic-but does it have to be Tawni? I don't know, it just seems to me like it's ALWAYS Tawni in these things. Why not someone else, like a girl from the Falls or something? It just seems a little out of character for Tawni to have been with Chad and for Sonny to have been talking bad about Tawni.

And I'm pretty sure that Skyler isn't blonde, but I could be wrong.

I was a little confused during the dialogue part of the story. The way Chad says, "I know she left, but she left with that… Random. Cloudy was it? Anyway, it's hard to let it go, when she went and ripped my heart on it, chucked it, and stomped on it with her stilettos" seems really... well, like he doesn't feel anything about it. You mention a lot of times too that Chad is hurting, but one thing I notice you don't do is SHOW us, as readers, that he's hurting. A lot of the times, if you write something just right, you don't have to worry about telling the reader what it is your character is feeling. They already know.

I don't know if any of that made sense, but I hope it helped. You're on the right track-just keep writing!

UndeniablyMe ;)