Reviews for Russian Roulette
delora067 chapter 1 . 9/23/2013
It was a fantastic story! The end is really more fanfiction, but we loved this :)
Those who did not like it, do not read on! Vidar you're pathetic!
Do not worry about it! ;)
theoriginalderje chapter 18 . 9/22/2012
I really enjoyed this story! You took the original thriller story of Law Abiding Citizen and transformed it into a sort of romance and semi-thriller story! I never would have imagined Clyde Shelton doing all these romantic things! I'm so glad you wrote a story like this! Its very brilliant and you should keep writing! Ignore all the negative comments cuz those are just the original die-hard LAC fans. I enjoyed another kind of story from your POV for a change!
Vidar chapter 18 . 8/31/2012
Soooo everyone's cool with Clyde getting away with murder? They just forgot about prosecuting him and all that?


And it's kinda creepy since Lisa is only 24 and Clyde is like twice her age. Getting some serious daddy-daughter incest vibes. I mean Clyde's own daughter would have been 15? 16? If she were alive. Hey, she and Lisa could have been sisters! They're close enough in age!

...Wow do I feel sick.

So murder is a slap on the wrist, murdering friends and threatening family is also trivial, and I just about urinated from laughter upon reading Nick being at the wedding and his daughter the flower girl. Ahahahahahaha.

This was such a terrible story. I really don't have more to say what hasn't already been said.

...Such crap.
Vidar chapter 17 . 8/31/2012
Seriously? The authorities didn't even bother to follow the blood trail to Clyde's escape tunnel? Or even find out about the escape tunnel? They would have at least noticed that there were no human fragments of Clyde around after the bomb blast.

And now he wants to marry her after a grand total of...4 times they've talked? 5?

What a crock.
Vidar chapter 16 . 8/31/2012
Some news reporter Lisa is. She's been friends with Ashley for several years, yet knows nothing of her friend? And Clyde is alive? What a load of buttcake.
Vidar chapter 14 . 8/31/2012
Wait, what? So why did Clyde threaten Nick's family and then ignore them?

Lisa has scratches and bruises? She's been asleep for a month, they would have healed. And it took three weeks for James to die? Huh?

True love? How in could it be a true love? Oh honey, I just love it when you threaten to murder my friends and hold me at gunpoint! You complete me when you grope my breasts even though we're complete strangers! Gag me.
Vidar chapter 13 . 8/31/2012
Some advice: avoid putting huge amounts of a song's lyrics into your story. It's just distracting and makes it look like you're trying to pad the chapter with someone else's stuff.
Vidar chapter 12 . 8/31/2012
This. Is such. Crap.

But honestly, it's not too late. You can learn to be a better writer. Check out Stephen King's On Writing when you get a chance. There are lots of ways to improve.

As acerbic I have been reading your story, I encourage you to learn from this. Maybe you just need to grow up a little more, get a little more world experience. I myself wrote bad stories when I was 12, and I don't want to make assumptions about your age but you remind me of someone who has bitten off more than they can chew.

The end result if your story feeling totally out of character, out of whack, and completely fake.
Vidar chapter 11 . 8/31/2012
I called it.

Of course Nick and the authorities wouldn't try to warn or protect people: that would be logical!
Vidar chapter 10 . 8/31/2012
You know, I've written in blood before. It's not a good substance to write with, too sticky and smeary. It brings a funny picture of Clyde not only collecting enough blood to write a monologue on the wall, but to do so intelligibly. He also sounds like some stupid teenager.

Yeah sure Clyde, you Brain, you master planner you. Write death threats against people. The first course of action would be, obviously, for the authorities to send the threatened people into protective custody. Quite possibly in hiding.

Will that happen in the story? I don't expect it to. Nobody acts like human beings in this story. They are flat pieces of cardboard with names written on them in an attempt to give them an identity. The reader is seriously supposed to believe these are the same people from the movie? Give me a break.
Vidar chapter 9 . 8/31/2012
Ahahaha, so Lisa just up and becomes a news reporter instead? Here's what would have really happened: She gets thrown out on her ass for bumping uglies with Clyde, mostly likely disbarred, and the subject of shame and scandal.

And in no way did Lisa not only get the degrees required to qualify for being a news reporter, she doesn't even have a journalistic track record to get hired.

And Clyde's WRAAAAUGHHHH I LOVE HER! after having met her TWICE. What a joke.

I'm running out of ways to express how dumb this story is.
Vidar chapter 8 . 8/31/2012
Oh Christ I missed the fact that last chapter they screwed in prison. Had unprotected sex. In prison.


And wait...Lisa was supposed to be Clyde's defense lawyer all this time? Then why did Nick hire her? And I could be wrong but lawyers are divided between prosecution and defense, they don't flip a coin for their cases.

Why is Nick so awkward? He hired Frankie after it was clear Lisa was in over her head. She should be escorted out of the court house. She has no purpose to be there. Well, even more than before.

Weep, weep, weep, cry, cry, cry. Babble and blubber. What a wimp.

This is a troll fic, right? This was written as a joke?
Vidar chapter 7 . 8/31/2012
So Nick goes out of his way to bring Lisa in on the case, risks her talking one on one with Clyde...and he doesn't even bother to get what information she might have possibly gotten out of Clyde?! Why did he even invite her? What is her purpose?!

Lisa is acting completely stupid. Like I said, she's not a lawyer, she's a 15 year old girl. Not for one second do I believe that she is a professional, of any kind.

This is such crap.
Vidar chapter 6 . 8/31/2012
Just what the hell was Lisa doing as a lawyer for 6 years, disputing parking tickets? Why did Nick even bring her in if she obviously has no experience or competence when dealing with a criminal?

And she ignores the information in his file to stare at his photo. Like a girl ignoring her homework to stare at the hot boy in the class.

So she's crying, panicking, whimpering, and trembling, and breaks her promise to Nick that she would leave at the first sign of hassle. Just what does she expect to accomplish aside from having erotic dreams of him?

And Clyde is a murderer, not a rapist. In the movie he pretty much idolized his wife and daughter. He wouldn't be groping some girl half his age and going totally looney tunes over how much she looks like a younger version of his wife. Might as well give him a mustache to twirl as he chuckles at the thought of tying girls to railroad tracks.
Vidar chapter 5 . 8/31/2012
I'm sorry, this is really pathetic.

Lisa is a 15 year old girl pretending to be a lawyer. She just doesn't fit into the world of Law Abiding Citizen. That I am supposed to believe otherwise is offensive. She's crying and blubbering to Nick about her bad dream like he's her daddy or something. This is distasteful.

Also you have some spelling errors scattered throughout the chapter, like Lisa "wipping" away her tears.
72 | Page 1 2 3 4 .. Last Next »