|Reviews for Hidden Depths|
| Syein chapter 1 . 12/12/2014
So instead of moving further to NMDE IV, I decided to drop on this story first. Needless to say, this short piece gave me an insight about Shizuru and Natsuki's background quite well. I'm glad I didn't skip it to move on with the main story. The last half of this is very entertaining.
| Golden Mean Fallacy chapter 1 . 2/1/2013
Thought I'd finally do my second little review here, since it's been a while since my first one. On the bright side, since I covered my overall feelings on the characters (and this is really primarily a character piece) last review, this one should be much shorter. So, let's dive in.
Your writing is as solid as ever. You balance replicating Doyle's style and adding your own touches incredibly well; the entire first couple scenes (from the opening to their arrival at the crime scene) were just absolutely classic Holmes. The delivery was pitch-perfect, and Shizuru's deductions felt completely logical and in-keeping with both her character, and her inspiration. Your use of proper language for the time period continues to impress.
The characterization here is even better than in the original piece, in my opinion. I kind of feel like Gallagher is a more interesting character than Reito, probably just because there's more direct interaction there; you learn a good deal about him from the way he interacts with Shizuru and how he conducts the case. Hudson is quite entertaining in her own right, and Akane is a quite functional set-piece, even if she never truly becomes much more than that.
However, Shizuru and Natsuki become even more interesting in this story. Their banter gets even more entertaining- you have two characters that play off each other quite well, and you manage to make them quite believable as close friends. Shizuru does get some development but on a whole, the piece feels more Natsuki-centric. And we definitely learn some interesting aspects of her character, and they on a whole really work. You sell everything in quite a believable way, and you make sure that Natsuki really still feels like an effective everywoman, despite the fact that her backstory is obviously deeper than, say, Watson's.
The other real compliment I want to make is an aspect that didn't really get touched on much in the first story, since that was more about introducing Shizuru- you do a very good job at making Natsuki competent. Far too many times Watson just becomes a bumbling idiot, when that isn't even close to what he was in Holmes canon, and Natsuki does a great job at replicating what Watson actually is- a perfectly intelligent person, who simply isn't kind of hyper-intelligent superbeing Shizuru is.
Now, few problems.
There are still those few lines that just feel rather jarring to me. Honestly, it's hard for me to say that they're grammatically incorrect, because I can both get what you were trying to say, and I'm not sure exactly where the grammatical flaw is. The dialogue just doesn't seem to flow quite right, which is annoying, because it makes it hard to really give you advice on areas of improvement. It just kind of feels clunky to me, and at times I'm not even sure why.
The other thing is- I like the mystery plot, and I like the follow-up. Yet, it feels like neither is really given dominance, so the story feels slightly unbalanced. The mystery plot is essentially the main point of the story, so I want to call it Plot A, and have the bit that takes up the second half of the story classified as the B-plot, but that doesn't quite work. The whole mystery is just breezed through so quickly- which is itself understandable, there is only so much Shizuru can really do, given the case at hand- and the closure feels kind of rough. Everything gets wrapped up, but it kind of felt like a bit of an afterthought. Yet the mystery plot takes up so much of the story that I don't feel comfortable classifying it as a subplot either. They are just kind of competing for dominance, which causes the story to feel somewhat awkward.
But on a whole, as a little follow-up to the first story, it's quite good. The mystery itself is entertaining and decently thought out, the writing is great overall, and the characterization is splendid.
| Michael S. Repton chapter 1 . 7/27/2012
Great fun; thanks for pointing me towards this story. I loved getting a few moments with Akane, one of my favourite characters, and yes, with the "spry young thing of seventeen" ;) Excellent descriptions of Bart's place and the fight - Shizuru was really awesome there. A nice parallel to the original Sherlock Holmes stories - many of them are adventures just as much as they are mysteries, but they're always fun.
| Sorrow86 chapter 1 . 6/5/2010
The banter between Shizuru and Natsuki is fun. I think you're doing a good job of balancing their roles as both their original character and as Holmes/Watson.
The fighting scene with Shizuru made me think of the new Sherlock Holmes movie. I really liked the movie, guess I would have grumbled a bit if I had read the books first. Books always tend to be better.
Nice short story.
| colorfulsunrise514 chapter 1 . 4/8/2010
This was a very nice treat. Love the fact that Shizuru knows how to kick some ass!
| GeshronTyler chapter 1 . 3/20/2010
Well, well, that's some interesting backround for Natsuki and Shizuru. I unfortunately have no idea as to who is supposed be portraying Mrs. Hudson...
So, we got a glimpse of Akane and her paramour. No annoying Columns, or nanites to get in the way here. )
| Ginukuemau chapter 1 . 3/9/2010
Great side story I think is like Midori in this role but then again I could be wrong I don't just a guess.
| Kuma Kuma chapter 1 . 2/28/2010
Thank you so much for giving Shizuru such an awesome fight scene! It seems that sometimes authors forget that she was such a kick-ass Hime and one of the most powerful Otome. Stories often focus on how elegant and refined she is and neglect this aspect of her character. Natsuki is often given the more physical scenes while Shizuru is drinking tea over in the corner...not that there is anything wrong with that. I love Shizuru in all forms, but it felt damn good to read about her giving some guy a major beat down.
| lurk-a-lot chapter 1 . 2/28/2010
Love these in-between story one-shots. They add a lot of colour & spice to your main story, & it was especially nice to see Natsuki's world in greater depth.
I laughed out loud when Shizuru agreed to fight in the pit; it meant that she was gonna kick ass, & she did! _
Thanks for this fic, I hope you find the time to write more of these little side stories. Cheers! _
| shanejayell chapter 1 . 2/28/2010
And I must admit to being caught off guard by Midori. _~
| gurjhime chapter 1 . 2/27/2010
haha nice side story, it was definitely easier to picture the fight scene because of the movie lol
very cool insight into Natsuki and Shizuru
| chilolo chapter 1 . 2/27/2010
keep going, man. you have a pretty nice style!
(even if the shiznat development is painfully slow ;))
| Pope William T Wodium chapter 1 . 2/27/2010
You never fail to impress. Good show, all around.
(Side point: For some reason, people seem to think that taking down one's opponent in a single move makes for a dramatic show of strength and skill, but I find the sort of methodical dissection of one's opponent demonstrated by Shizuru here to be far more effective in communicating the point. I'm reminded of a scene in Frank Miller's The Dark Knight Returns: "This isn't an arena; it's an operating table" . . . or something to that effect.)
| kurakami chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
Love how Shizuru fights in a kimono! Hidden depths indeed. it's funny to see Natsuki trying to get Shizuru to eat as she's not exactly the nurturing type. LOL. Great side story!
| BioDragon chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
This is awesome! Shizuru kicked ass and Natsuki got to tease Shizuru in the end :D