|Reviews for Balance|
| ahhpleezeninja chapter 1 . 3/11/2010
wow! just beautiful. Very emotional. Loved it. :D
| vilya74 chapter 1 . 3/1/2010
| Chisis chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
Ah, the one shot. The all or nothing kind of deal. I like using One shots to try out incomplete ideas or just to run with something that I have in my head, like a bit of dialogue or a new writing style (the comments on FFnet rarely help,though, which is sad). But by writing like this, I end up with a lot of one shots that just aren't good by story standards.
I have a feeling (and tell me if I'm wrong) that this is what may have happened here. Here is what I liked: I liked the idea of the story and taking a darker view into Richard's character. The balance of good verses evil and how Richard's battle within himself is physically manifested in the sword and in his actions. I think you started the story off great with "Anger, hatred, revulsion." By doing it like that, having those three words in their own sentence stated to the reader (me) that those words were what the story was going to be about. It was clear and a good style choice on your part.
Now in the first part of your story, the first paragraph was good, but I'm not entirely sure how necessary it was. After the first sentence, the rest few like an introduction before getting into the story part. Personally, I think if you had started with the second paragraph and thrown the reader straight into the situation it would have been better. The second paragraph was smarter than the first because it drove us readers directly into the mind of Richard when as he being taken over by the sword. I especially like the second sentence, "He smirked to himself knowing how foolish it was to sneak up on him". That suggests a cocky Richard, a 'all-knowing' Richard, and sets up the next part where he makes a mistake.
Part two of your story had a little too much going on. Richard trying to deal (or not deal) with what he's done and Kahlan challenging him seemed a bit crammed in. Your writing, though, saved it because you do truly write in an engaging way. The last paragraph in that was probably the best in this one shot.
The third part of your story was all resolution. The dialogue was good, natural, which is so hard to achieve. I thought that the dialogue in some of your other stories was better than in this, but your still heads above other fics in terms of that.
Anyways, despite all the comments I made, I really do enjoy reading these one shots. I think that one shots, especially good ones like yours, are overlooked sometimes in favor of longer stories. These are really important to me to see the experiments of other writers and to rationalize my own ideas.
| LOTSlover chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
Awesome story! I absolutely loved it! It was so tense and yet so sweet!
| NinjaSheik chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
| ForeverRK chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
awsome one shot! it was very sweet.