|Reviews for The Guarding Gargoyles|
| VinceT chapter 3 . 7/22/2013
To be quite honest it took me a while to get everything straight in my head before posting this review.
I'm a fan of several authors, who happen to be fans of J K Rowling like millions of people that visit this site - Corvus was the name of the story, written by LadyFreak. Now on the fifteenth chapter I happened to read the AN, an odd thing because I usually don't pay attention to such things, but your name just so happened to pop up and it rang a bell for some reason. So that you don't have to hunt down your review, here it is verbatim: -
I'm getting tired or all the stories being the same.
Don't get me wrong. I like the WBWL theme and dark!Harry stories are my favourite... But do they all have to be so similar, which makes them clichéd?
I'm starved for a new kind of story, or even a commonly used theme based story with a twist or two, but all I get is, Harry was abused by light side, Dark sided villians were nice to him, now he's one of them and light side is bashed, Dark guys save the day and rule happily ever after. I mean, come ON!
Sorry for the rant. Just clarify if your story is gonna be like that, so that I can let go before I spend too much of my time on it and think of it as wasted later on and get disappointed and bitter over it.
Sarah J Rose
Now I can appreciate the criticism, there is a hell of a lot of abused-Harry fics on this site - I've written one of the thousands. More than that, the light side getting bashed... well that seems to be a prerequisite for a dark!Harry story unless he's painted as the baddie and the dark as being totally wrong. Generally people like happy endings too, and in dark-Harry stories the happy ending is Harry being... well, Happy.
Now this review was reasonable, but a little over the top in my opinion, and I'm sure many others', however that isn't quite why I'm sending you this review - at least not wholly.
It took me a while to hunt it - or rather *them* down, but I managed.
completely boring, unbelievably dumb and so sickningly cliché that i may as
well have read 'my little pony' and 'how to fall in love in one hour'
combined. Nothing new in this fic, so predictable and what is with the 'most
powerful wizard since godric and soul bonding with luna in 15 minutes?' well,
you need a LOT of work to makethis story anywhere interesting.
This was taken off Harry Potter and the Truth by KennethRose. On chapter 4. Now I've read the story. It's cliche, it's whimsical, it's looking at the world through severely rose-tinted glasses... but, well, as you said in the review to LadyFreak: "come ON!" It was stated in the AN in the FIRST chapter that it would have "Dumbledore and Ron/Ginny/Molly bashing", and that it was his " first Harry Potter fanfic"... ever.
Now I contacted KennethRose and he admits that he found your review at that point rather amusing, as he wrote the story when he was 14, completed it in one week, posted it, and hasn't really looked at it since. He also admits that he loves romance, takes it too fast most, if not all of the time, and does use incredibly cliche plot-devices... but that he likes it, and hundreds of other people like it too because they write reviews... saying nice things.
He then sent me two more of your reviews posted about a year later: -
I'm sorry dude, i really am. But the story is just too damn unrealistic. No
offence. Super harry, evil dumbles, weasley bashing. Everything that is
popular, i know. But do you have to do it the same way everyone else is doing
it? C'mon. You cant say that harry reading one chapter off of Legimency book
and being able to actually enter someone's mind, conciously, is not very
unreal. Can you? And whats with the Newt level understanding of subjects? At
least give an explaination for that when you do spring stuff like that up. Its
disconcerting otherwise and it distracts readers from the story too, coz they
focus on the puzzle and not the story. Its like ruining your mood by being a
sore bruise on ur body on a perfect beach day.
Sorry, but i wont read anymore of the story. Good bye.
S J Rose
And perhaps the worst in my opinion: 0
The title is Magical Revolution. I'm sorry, but all i see is some corny, mushy
stuff that have no hair or tail, is completely non-sensible and irrational AND
scenerio that, in real world, would be so pathetically unreal and unjust it
wouldn't even be funny. I'm sorry, but THIS, is just some romantic fantasies
of a depraved, destitute person and have no relation with a revolution or
sensibility what so ever. Now, i dont know about you, but I cant stomach
anymore of this drivel. So, good bye and good riddance to bad rubbish, as they
S J Rose
Now Kenneth told me he'd written you a reply, said that you'd made him have a bit of a giggle, and you suddenly went all nice and said that you were, "glad i provided you with amusement. I kinda thought that you needed some humour in your life, personally." He never replied to that to the best of my knowledge, and while he may be content to let it be... well, to be quite frank, I think that you need to rethink the things you say and post, because they're really quite hurtful, deplorable, insulting, and perhaps above all show your ineptitude.
Now I can take constructive criticism. I can take insults for people that don't like particular themes in my stories, though admittedly I wonder why the hell they bothered reading them in the first place considering I have a section titled WARNINGS at the top of both of my published fanfics... but truly? "non-sensible and irrational AND
scenerio that, in real world, would be so pathetically unreal and unjust it wouldn't even be funny."
If you hadn't realized... this site hosts something called 'fanfiction'. To the best of my knowledge, though perhaps your grasp of the English language is better than most of the fluently, natively-English speaking population of the world, 'fiction' means 'not real'. Magic, to the best of my knowledge, doesn't exist... nor do dragons, or flying broomsticks, or hidden secret societies and the ability to cheat death by splitting your soul.
Your story, which I did take the time to read, features a secret society of magicals that are sworn to protect people, and uses a completely fictional world as its base. As does every single story, several million of them, on this site.
Calling Kenneth a 'depraved, destitute' person for writing stories that thousands enjoy reading... honestly, you're probably the kind of person that would ignore such insults from a flamer, but I'd hate to see what some of your comments do to people who truly are destitute and use this site as their lifeline - their escape, for want of a better phrase.
I'm probably wasting my time with you writing this, after all you seem to take great pleasure in reading a good several chapters into people's stories, say it's boring, or that it's childish or crappy or a waste of time, then say 'good riddance to bad rubbish' which probably took them tens of hours to write, and leave them wondering just what the hell kind of person would be so horrible as to say the things you do... when you've written one single, solitary story with under eight thousand words and the content of which isn't so much story-based, but description based.
Maybe, just maybe, next time before you decide to press that "Post Review as sarah-rose76646" button you should think about what you'd feel like to be put in the author's shoes - though admittedly being an author doesn't seem to have tempered your insulting demeanour any considering you called another one depraved and destitute without knowing a single thing about them except what their stories tell you.
I'm sure I could find several other examples of where you've been needlessly rude, insulting, and downright depraved yourself (look the word up before you use it, as it makes you look incompetent otherwise) but I think that if this hasn't served as a wake-up call or made you seriously reconsider your attitude towards others then I'm not sure what will - and I'll not waste my time on trying to convince you further.
Whether you reply to this or not doesn't really concern me, or interest me for that matter. I'll consider this my good deed for the day and hope I've helped you look in the mirror and realize that your attitude towards people that haven't even requested that you read their stories is simply deplorable, and that really you're quite the hypocrite and it's doing nothing for you.
| Sarah Rose 0210 chapter 1 . 4/14/2013
Ho hum, zzzzzz.
| KK chapter 3 . 12/17/2012
I only peeked at your story because I've read your review on one of the stories I read this day. Conflicting ideas, you see. So here I am, wasting a few minutes of my time to read this... This whole mary sue rubbish.
A few pieces of advice. Or complaints. However you see it.
1. Double check your work for grammatical/spelling errors. If you couldn't even do that, then find a suitable beta.
2. There was no in depth plot. No excitement whatsoever. I advice that you really think of your plot to entice the readers. As of now, all I could say is that it was so boring.
3. Too Mary sue.
... Well, that's that. And darling, next time if you critique another author's work, make sure that YOUR work if not better then at least on par with them. It is funny (for an avid reviewer like me) to compare works between great author and those who were all bark.
Well then, Ciao.
| misa chapter 1 . 10/17/2012
This is shit I feel sick. Lord help us there is no excitement or energy and I hardly call twenty a lot of reviews so your story must not be anything to click on your lucky to get this one.
| wandamarie chapter 1 . 7/11/2011
hay i just got done reading this chapter and it was not that good on this chapter i give it an a P- in harry potter world but in the real word i give it a F- i have read many stories and if the are good i say they are good but if they are not i say they are not but i i have read all of Severus addicted stories and she is a good writer and i was taught to be nice even if you do not like you can say it in a nice way not like you did
| narugirl2003 chapter 1 . 6/26/2011
Hello, I'm reviewing this to return the favor of you reviewing my first chapter. I hate doing this but here it goes.
The top section sounded like you were writing a research paper about Greek Mythology and adding your views to the existing facts about the Gorgons. When it came to your facts, it was almost like you're leaving things out. For example, "What no one knew was that the Greek hero (who is it?) was also affected in the explosion." People don't want to read a research paper on this website. They want to read a story so this top section could have been left out.
You have a lot of run on sentences. Break them up. This is elementary mistakes that can easily be avoided by a 21 year old.
Quidditch needs to be capitalized since it is a name of a sport.
When describing Kevin, again, it was a run-on. It would sound better like this: "He had short brown hair, intelligent blue eyes like his father, and had a good sense of humor." How could blue eyes be intelligent? What color blue? It could have been ocean blue eyes, baby blue eyes, sky blue eyes...give more description on the eye color. I didn't know eyes could be intelligent.
Unlike you, I will give you some positive to your story. You have an interesting start to your story (except the research paper at the top). Since you are new to this and I've been at this since I was a senior in high school in 2003, here are some pointers:
1. In order to be a decent writer, ignore reviews that practically don't give you advice but just put you down and focus on the ones that pump you up and give you constructive criticism because I've seen some authors that had potential to be awesome writers just give up after receiving a couple of flames.
2. Watch out for spelling/grammar issues. Make sure all names are captialized along with names of events, sports, places, etc.
3. A thesauras comes in handy when you want to use another word to mean the same as another. Example, Melissa said; you could have described how she was feeling when she won playing tag with her brother just by switching out said with another word meaning said but describing her emotion so the readers could get a better picture of what they're reading.
With all that said, this is just suggestions. Take it or leave it if you like. Another piece of advice, most readers love it when you go EPIC. You can take your time with it if you want but some readers will get bored very quickly and will lose interest. That's why when I write, I go epic and never look back so I can keep the readers interested. I take chances instead of playing it safe like most writers. So last piece of advice, take chances because that is how you learn.
This is me signing out of this story because I didn't like reading the research paper at the top. I'm glad that you did research but I don't see any point to having all that at the beginning. You could have inserted it in some point of your story later on to build it up. Anyway, it has potential and good luck with it.
| DanceThroughMyStory chapter 3 . 6/25/2011
You’ve got a very intriguing idea for a story; I must applaud your creativity!
There are a few grammar mistakes that can be concentrated on. I suggest you get a beta reader to help you with them; it’s always a good idea to have someone else read through your story and make sure there are no mistakes before you post it.
You should also be careful that you don’t make you’re OC family sound too perfect… a few flaws are human nature after all.
Lastly, something that bothered me was that Harry and Melissa had to be introduced… they’re in their third year and would have had Herbology together for about two years now so Harry should at least know her name or face. She, in turn, would know almost everything about his school days because I’m pretty sure he’s the most talked about person in the wizarding world, never mind the school.
I did enjoy the story very much though and I’m definitely going to keep an eye on it because you don’t often find someone with an original idea like yours.
| blah chapter 3 . 6/15/2011
wow this was a waste of my time... No wonder there is only 15 reviews.
I mean honestly? Thanks for pointing out that "Harry Potter was very happy" yep thanks for that, I bet I would have never been able to figure that out without you telling me right out.
I was just not very happy with this story it was just odds and ends that just bothered me to no end.
| Obi1Nemogbr chapter 3 . 1/23/2011
I do liked it when fanfics provide more fluff and flesh out the magical community.
I hope this OC is well balanced and not become a Mary Sue.
Anycase, looking forward to reading more of Harry Potter and the new Golden Trio...lol
| Obi1Nemogbr chapter 2 . 1/23/2011
Luna will be in the picture. I hope you include Hermione as well.
| Obi1Nemogbr chapter 1 . 1/23/2011
Interesting start. Looking forward to following the story.
| Little Miss Novella chapter 1 . 9/28/2010
| Christopher.Cameron.Scott chapter 1 . 8/28/2010
this is one of hte best stories i have read so far in te harry potter fiction u need to update it or have it completed like have the kids go though there hogwarts year and have voldermort come back! and make helen have some more babies and make sure one is a girl or 2 girls like samantha and rachel or lindsey sara lacon monica ashlie ashlee just for some fun
| Taylor1991 chapter 3 . 7/11/2010
Glad Harry has finally decided to drop divenation and COMC. Along with getting new books, cause he's going to need all of the help he can get with honing his skills when ole Tommy returns. Nice to see the three of them gaining a close friendship. Eagerly awaiting the next chappie.
| Taylor1991 chapter 2 . 7/11/2010
Don't worry bout promising to update on schedule. It's far better to be pleasantly surprised to find out that you updated twice a month more than usual then, being disappointed when you can't possibly update on schedule. Basically, when inspiration strikes write, your loyal readers will continue reading no matter how long they have to wait.
Liked his b-day, even if you did take portions of it from hp;POA. Will Melissa interact with the treeo? Hope so.