|Reviews for You've Got A Piece of Me|
| NeoMiniTails chapter 1 . 4/29/2015
I absolutely love this story. I haven't seen Gossip Girl in a long time, and I only really remember season one and bits of other season. This story perfectly encapsulates the relationship between Nathan and Serena who have always been in love even while in other relationships.
There's something about the way you write them that really makes the two of them something special even more so than the actual show. I've never read the books as they always seemed too girly so I don't know if that's where you chose your narrative style, but it fit the tone of the show perfectly.
I almost wish this was in the canonical show. Your final line about how they never really tried to resist it was a perfect way to end this.
Congrats on being Story of the Week in the RLT forum.
Wonderful job on the story,
Until Next Time,
| frankannestein chapter 1 . 4/29/2015
Hello! Throwing in my review to help this story graduate out of the RLt archives. I have to tell you that I am painfully fandom blind (I've seen some book covers, but that's it). I will try not to say anything too goofy!
After my first read-through, I can't even tell you how much I loved this. I don't know these people, I don't know their lives, but it doesn't matter. The story unravels in such a way that I get enough of the picture so that at no point am I lost, wondering who is who or what is happening. It's beautifully done, actually. I was drawn in by how every scene deals with a "once." And the "once"s get bigger and bigger. He kisses her once, they fall asleep together once, they spend a week together once, etc. And then, finally, there's the end, where all that work we've observed of them trying to resist temptation is thrown out the window, and it's like a prize at the bottom of the cereal box for us as readers. It's a terrible thing to cheat, it's terrible that they refused to take better action earlier, but it's WONDERFUL when two people find each other like that. Excuse me while I bask in the warm fuzzies!
There is another theme throughout the story, which I think balances out the "once"s, and it's that they're good at that, too. She's good at forgetting, they're good at acting like nothing happened, etc. I was just as hooked by those. It made me smile, because I kept looking for both themes, wondering how they would manifest next. It's masterfully done.
In closing, I just want to say that this paragraph was my favorite part of the whole story, because it's such a punch in the feels, and is so quintessentially "teenager": [He's still on his back, and his heart is still racing from having her pressed against him. He's been thinking the same thing for two full minutes. A full week. A year. All his life.] Only a young adult has that kind of luxury and that kind of confusion.
I have to say it again. This was so good and I can't express how much I loved it.
| Luna Rapunzel chapter 1 . 4/29/2015
This fic has been sitting in our archives at the RLt for such a long time, and I'm really glad I noticed it in order to spotlight it this week because WOW this is well done! Stylistically this was really well written - your sentence structure flowed really fluidly from one phrase or thought into the next. You also did a really nice job of smoothly infusing a sense of history into these characters' relationships and demonstrating in small details (the quip about arguing with Blair about not wanting to watch Tiffany's for the umpteenth time as an example of how Serena understands Nate better than Blair does being a good example of this) how much has gone on behind the scenes in a very offhand way that realistically mirrors how people actually think about their memories in that kind of fleeting way. You also had a really nice handle on impactful one-liners, like the last couple lines or the transition "He knows that when he sees her at school, they'll act like nothing happened. But then again, they've gotten pretty good at that."
A few specifics:
The ["Well, sometimes, but..."] bit of dialogue through the following few lines confused me a little; I wasn't completely sure what Serena was trying to get at there. And there were a couple of spots where I did think the flow-y feeling was a little much and you could have used firmer punctuation than just commas, but it only happened a few times and wasn't really distracting.
[It's a Saturday. It's 8:00. It's the first day of their break. ] I LOVED this, especially your use of italics here, because it was such a great example of Nate's voice and emotions coming through clearly in the narrative.
Really nicely done!
| darkaccalia520 chapter 1 . 4/28/2015
I am completely fandom blind, but this was a really sweet story. I can completely sympathize with Nate, being a tad bored with his relationship. The only thing I don't quite understand, though, is why he just didn't break up with Blair, but maybe he cared for her too? Well, I assume he did in a way because he made up with her after their argument. I do love that throughout his relationship with Blair, though, everything seemed to be focused on Serena.
And even Nate admits the fact that he should be thinking of Blair more, but he can't because he's infatuated with Serena. I really loved it when they had the week to themselves while Chuck and Blair were gone, and it was bittersweet when it had to end. Still, I loved the fact they both resist the urge to do more because even though they have feelings for one another, they're still attached to others.
I also loved that Nate was able to find an excuse to keep Serena close when he and Blair were together, and it's sweet that he knew that it was hard for Serena to be the third wheel, but he wanted and needed her there. It's too bad that Blair became mean, and it's sweet that Nate went to see if she was all right. And then the last scene was so lovely. I don't know if they broke up with their significant others, but I certainly hope they did after this. I really enjoyed this. Well done. :)
| Applauze chapter 1 . 4/26/2015
This review is a part of the "Story of the Week" thread at The Readers Lounge. I am fandom blind so forgive me if I appear to be wrong at any point.
I felt the romantic touches from the beginning of this oneshot with the kisses but I saw the irony with the fighting over Nate, Chuck and Blair. I felt sorry for Nate, having to deal with all of the burdens and the arguments. You painted a sympatheic picture.
One of the best features of this is the fact that you wait until the very end to reveal who the 'he' of the story is. It was a good wait since I was always wanting to know who the guy was. I tip my hat to you on that part.
The plot was really good and I enjoyed this! Congrats on getting the Story of the Week honor. :D
| Book 'em Again chapter 1 . 4/26/2015
I’m coming over from the Reviews Lounge so fandom blind here.
The first thing the struck me about this story was the decision you made to not identify your POV character beyond ‘he’ until towards the end. Now I imagine, who he was, was clear to people familiar with your fandom, but as someone new, this choice gave your story a sense of distance. Like these things are happening but as if they are almost not quite real, because if it was real – won’t they think of themselves (name themselves). And that sense of distance works because your characters try and spend the whole story pretending as if this attraction isn’t really there.
As your story played out, I found that your title to be very apt. Because all the events you’re your characters were vulnerable were events where they should have been with the person they claimed to really loved, but something kept bringing them to each other. It was like when they were together that was when they were whole – I think the ice cream scene in particular showed this well.
Your final line ties up the story very well. Because, in the end, the attempts at distance, at resisting temptation, of pretending were just lies the characters told themselves. And you showed me that the characters were no more fooled than your readers all along. Bravo!
| Legendary Biologist chapter 1 . 4/26/2015
Hi! Congrats for being selected as Story of the Week at The Review Lounge, Too. For starters, I'm fandom blind, so excuse me if I get canonical things wrong.
The theme here is interesting: resisting temptation. I like how it is beautifully conveyed through two people who like each other, but they avoid going deeper. Even at some parts it gets 'tempting' (such as the moment Nate and Serena sleep together and the ice cream scene) for them to admit that they like each other, they just act as if nothing happens and/or try to be oblivious. But of course, they can't keep acting like that forever, as seen in the ending. I love the last two lines, which sum up everything perfectly and beautifully. Nate and Serena have been pretending not to care, but they finally kiss without thinking that they shouldn't be kissing. It's a fantastic end!
Grammar-wise, it's impressive. This story is in present tense and there's no tense shift (a common error in stories with present tense) that jumps out. So congrats on that!
There are a few places where the dialogue tags get confusing though. Such as ["C'mon. It'll be fun." She tilts her head at him and furrows her brow, because that's just about the least convincing argument he could have given her. "I want you to come."] makes me think that it's Nate speaking instead of Serena (at first glance). I'd recommend separating this into three paragraphs (speech, narrative, speech) to avoid confusion.
That aside, this is a beautiful work! Well done! :)
| MissScorp chapter 1 . 4/25/2015
Hi there! Congrats on being named SOTW at the Reviews Lounge, Too for the week of April 26, 2015! I must apologize because I am absolutely fandom blind here and cannot comment on anything canonical. That being said, I have to say that I found this to be quite a charming story about friends who are a little more than friends, but incapable of actually admitting that they are more than just friends. Nate and Serena are two people who essentially belong together, but for whatever reasons that they have, they are not together. They just come together in brief moments that make them aware of the truth of what they feel for each other, but which neither one of them wants to discuss because of a fear of the emotions they'd have to contend with if they admit how they actually feel.
I really thought the authorial tone you took here: ((But oh, my god, girls should not be allowed to be made of that much perfect.)) and here: ((...why are you here, should I be worried, and how drunk are you anyway?)) really worked to kick up the tempo of the narrative and speed up the pace in a way that did not feel rushed or out of place. It worked well to explain Nate's train of thought in that particular moment. Serena has just showed up at his house, drunk as anything, and the first thing he notices is how she's dressed and how it isn't fair because she's the one he really wants but cannot bring himself to have for whatever reason that he's using to not be with her except for in these brief moments. Then it twists around to his being concerned, wondering how drunk she is, what does she want, why is she there, is she okay? It tells us that she's more than a friend, more than just someone he has lukewarm feelings for. But again, despite the fact that she falls asleep in his arms, they aren't together and go back to pretending they aren't really in love when they wake up the next morning.
This passage here: ((It's a full year of all that work resisting temptation being thrown out the window.)) works to showcase just how long they've been at their game of pretense and fighting to avoid what they feel and what they know to be the truth. Ah, but at the very end comes the silent admission as they revel in the freedom that drunkenness allows them about how ((...they never did try too hard to resist it anyway.)) They haven't really been fighting what they want/think/feel all that well and have been giving in more and more to what it is they are both denying.
In all this was a very lovely piece. Great job!
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/9/2012
reaaaaaaaaalyy enjoyed reading this... this is soo perfect3
| StoryGirl02 chapter 1 . 10/12/2010
Omg. This is amazing! Seriously, everything was perfect. I just adooooore Serena and Nate together, screw Dan yes ;) Anyways, you are a very talented writer!
| NiyuChu chapter 1 . 5/22/2010
You write in the most beautiful way. I am unable to comprehend how you do it x)!
You pull off present tense so well.
I loooooooooooved it, a lot.
| Dazzle Me Again chapter 1 . 3/3/2010
I loved it. Loved it, loved it, loved it. They are just... so perfect for each other, and the way you write just makes it even more perfect. So, yeah.
Have a wonderful day!
| Marissa Davis chapter 1 . 2/27/2010
Aw omg I wish on the show they'd do more flashbacks of Nate and Serena from younger years! This was great I loved it!
| Narchi chapter 1 . 2/27/2010
aww this was just adorable and perfect! :D
| In.the.name.of.Savage.Poets chapter 1 . 2/26/2010
I just about squealed when I received the author alert during a class this morning because, well, it's NS and it's you and the combination is always perfect. And here I am, taking a break at work just to read your story. You've been on fire with your Puckelberry Finn stuff, but this was too sweet. I'll be smiling for the rest of the night. Thanks, smc-27.