|Reviews for Fireworks|
| Proud to be Plug chapter 1 . 10/22/2011
Ok, CC time…
The idea is okay, I guess. One thing wrong with this fic, however, is Annabeth's attitude to Percy. She's a little too condescending towards Percy, which makes her seem a little OOC.
Also, Percy is a little too hapless. He may be a little slow, but he's not normally that hapless.
Still, that said, the story has potential. Work on those characterisation points, and it'll be a good bit better.
Also, you need to change this:
With the course of the night I was honestly expecting some form…
The "course of the night" bit doesn't work or make sense much. I would change it to "With he way things were going."
There you go. Hope I helped!
| ISurvivedHurricaneIrma chapter 1 . 4/2/2010
A great story. Very well written.