|Reviews for Naruto's Kit 2|
| Shang chapter 17 . 2/19/2013
Actually, Momo's logic is entirely flawed - be it professionals or amatuers, interrogation will hurt, the difference being that amatuers can impose lasting damage... which, in her case, hardly gives her a reason to care, since she'll be spending all of her days in jail at best (considering how Naruto acts, he's basing his decisions on personal feelings, so Momo trying to kidnap his daughter instantly provides her with a one-way ticket to a dungeon, pure and simple).
And mental damage is much more frightening then physical one; anyone subdue to both will tell you this much. True, people don't wish to get hurt, but Momo is a shinobi; she should show some resilence to things like broken bones.
On a plus side I generally like the water-walking scene... didn't specifically made me laugh, but it was fun to read.
| Shang chapter 16 . 2/19/2013
Finallz, I was about to ask where Lee was... I do give you points for remembering he was there.
Though, seriously, ANOTHER headbutt? I know Naruto is supposed to have thick skull, but this is just pushing it.
On a plus side this part of the showdown was much more enjoyable then the previous; maybe nothing grand, but at least most characters did something... I am warry over your treatment of Konoha in general; while I aplaud the view (they are a shinobi village after all), the Leaf was always described as "gentle" and whatnot, while you have them execute half the people you don't like (Danzou, Sasuke, now Haiyou)... doesn't really feel like a Konoha-thing to do.
| Shang chapter 15 . 2/17/2013
And, again, Akane just seems overpowered - she moves faster then Haiyou can act (MUCH faster, I might add) and within a minute after she appear, she knocked out a jounin that Hinata, Sakura and Hanabi combined couldn't... this is quite discouraging, really, taking any edge off IMO.
Note that Naruto AND Sasuke couldn't do anything against Zabuza and even after learning Rasengan, Naruto had quite a bit of trouble to do actual damage to Kabuto. If you make jounin go down this easily against Akane, then it really won't bring any excitment into her fights, coz she has just too much power at her disposal.
And, btw, note that in the manga Naruto never used his clones as means to shield himself; they were used to attack in dangerous situations, yes, but never used on strictly suicide acts. Such usage of Kage Bunshin seems very anti-climax.
Plus - an elemental technique that bounces? Skipping the fact that we're talking about a Raiton that bounces off a tree - a non-conductor which should absorbed it harmlessly.
I am curious about that special clay Haiyou is about to use, but being perfectly honest I'm rather disappointed in this showdown overall, sorry.
| Shang chapter 14 . 2/17/2013
Frankly, I find Momo's logic flawed - if Haiyou was supposed to be support, then it's preciously his role to hold off the enemy while she escaped with the baby. That's how this works.
The battles still seem somewhat dry and I think you could've done more with Haiyou then just have him do animal figures with his clay. I am curious about Momo though and what she'll show.
| Shang chapter 13 . 2/17/2013
I don't know Shion, yet her behavior seems out-of-character within the birth scene.
Overall there's not much to say about this chapter as it mostly a lead-up to the final showdown (btw - I was right about Momo), but why is Lee not present in all of this?
| Shang chapter 12 . 2/17/2013
I gotta admit that Akane's new trick makes her seem even more uber... true, if it'll be shown that some people can counter it, then it's all good (some gennin in my NNG, during final exam, do show off scary techniques), but taking the story up till now into account, i fear that may not be the case. Time will tell.
On a plus side - I didn't take Ichinoshikyo as a Raiton type... lighting giving off light could give him more edge in a fight, so I'm hoping you'll combine the two (btw - I just realized, but you know that shadows exist even in the night, right? They're just not visible to most people, due to the spectrum of colors human eye can register, but in order for shadows to not exist at all, EVERYTHING in the proximity would had to have the exact same among of light or rather the complete lack of it and night has moon, stars etc.).
| Shang chapter 11 . 2/17/2013
And, again, Akane feels overpowered, being able to act faster then a jounin who should likely be an experienced one, considering a mission to another country... even wounding him rather easily...
And a Kamizuru, eh? Since you're not willing to reveal who that is, I'm guessing Momo... so Iwa infiltrated the temple... interesting.
On one hand I can compliment you on not doing a straight-forward type of arc, but the fight scenes still could use more dynamics and feeling. And it feels weird to have another freak with the palm-mouths '
| Shang chapter 10 . 2/17/2013
Hmmm... to be honest, Naruto doing what he did seems just completely out of whack, even (or maybe 'especially') character-wise. I don't know how that filler arc went in the anime, but weighting this objectively - he made a promise to a single person (Shion) and then made a promise to another (Hinata) that he'll be faithful in front of basically everybody who matters to him.
The first promise done in the light of ignorance, the second if fully awareness.
I'm sorry, but, to me, this reasoning is just stupid.
I am intrigued by the sudden appearance of Deidara-like constructs. Another bokuton user?
| Shang chapter 9 . 2/16/2013
Well, I haven't watched anime (from which's filler I assume the whole Shion arc is from), so I do not know what their first mission in the Land of Demons was, but being overall skeptical about filler, I'm probably defensive over this arc in your story. I'm curious about the possible, stone-nins that Naruto and others will need to face.
And something seems off about this nursemaid. Can't specifically put my finger on it, but the general premise is just... weird.
| Shang chapter 8 . 2/16/2013
To be honest, it's a bit strange to have a Hokage escorted by a bunch of gennin, chuunin and a shinobi who may potentially be a traitor (Dansue). I know, Naruto should be able to handle himself, but the protocol is that one of teh Five Shadows travels with 2 bodyguards, whom by all indication are people of very high skill (check Kage SUmmit), so this arrangement may be a bit unease on manga fans.
I am curious how you're gonna handle the team's first, serious mission though, that was always a very troubling part of my next gen stories '
| Shang chapter 7 . 2/16/2013
Well, this felt like a filler chapter; on one hand it's an interesting idea to show how gennin typical day should REALLY look like... on the other, it's not something most adventure fans would be interested in, since it didn't push the story forward nor had a lot of comedy in it.
And someone really should do something to save those cats '
| Dragon Man 180 chapter 43 . 2/15/2013
Damn, akidney wound is nasty. I do find the match to have been a bit booring, it seemed more talk than action.
| Shang chapter 6 . 2/14/2013
Generally what Hanabi said makes a lot of sense, so kudos on that.
But the sparring and general exercise make Akane seem overpowered again... I got that feeling in NK1, but I fear this may push it to new lengths with Akane actually facing off shinobi life. You must really watchout for that, coz I doubt many would like to read an adventure tale where the protagonist is insanely strong (considering her rank, experience and the like).
Well, so far this is going rather smoothly (better then the beginning on NK1 in my opinion) and I like the mention of the cat at the end... I make fun of that in my next gen fics too ;P
| Shang chapter 5 . 2/14/2013
Hmmm... on one hand kudos for a rather original test (granted the strain put on the team to work together seems weaker then the one Kakashi's exam put, since the trio didn't thought right off only two of them could pass and thus worked together at the beginning, making it easier to bond together for the end), but Hanabi seemed to take the test too seriously.
I mean, yes, she refrained from using Byakugan, but still - a jounin using weapons in this predicament? Kakashi didn't even really fight back in his, gennin test and throwing weapons could seriously harm her students. Doesn't seem like a very jounin-thing to do to me.
On a plus side you did show some more tactics from your gennin... a thing that most fanfic writers don't do, in stead making their shinobi fight each other head on, without plans. True, the ones presented maybe weren't anything grand, but the clone diversion I find quite entertaining.
Only it feels Akane is overpowered somewhat...
| Shang chapter 4 . 2/14/2013
Hmmm... well, regardless to how this goes, you do get a plus for NOT doing a simple bell test (this smells a bit like the test I made for "Legacy..." and thus I'm suspecting some sort of a catch). It still feels a bit weird to see Ichinoshikyo like this, knowing Part I anyway.
The pep talk was okay, only aside from Hanabi proclaiming she knew Akane's secret, there seemed to be little meaning to it (since nothing was really resolved)... of course some impact might be shown later as the story focuses on the gennin exam for now, but it doesn't seem like Akane gave the idea of sharing her secret with her teammates.
Overall a decent chapter.