Ya iba a decir po, eso te pasa por wenejo y que resulta que el sombrero es un cabron jajajajajajajajjaj

Poor sorting hat, that was pretty interesting tho, makes clear how it works, I like that.
And yeah, Harry is pretty "dark" in this version, but I have hope, he's scared of failing at a younger age than most children, he's cold most of the time, but there's light in him, a person can't be just "good" or just "bad".

Poor McGonagall, she's so paranoic lmao, and she's right about chaotic Harry messing up with the Hat hahaha

I was in shock too when it said Slytherin! How could you do that! But I laughed too, ngl lmao

Is Harry a Ravenclaw or not?

I. Am. Mindblown.

You got me there at that last announcement, Sorting Hat. The masterful diallogue built up so much anticipation...

I'm dyinggg, Sorting Hat is chaotic neutral. I can't wish for it to be shovked with Luna the next year after.

I'm dyinggg, Sorting Hat is chaotic neutral. I can't wish for it to be shovked with Luna the next year after.

OH MY GOD THE SORTING HAT IS SO GOOOOOOD

Is there any happy and fluff moment other than angst and clinical harry potter, this is i think in this story harry in the real drak lord and voldramort must be the real chisen one, like this story diverge from the very beginning on the story, if all of this i read is continuing with his character then he may kill sirius, so no clinical, apex pessimistic harry potter.

THE MOST UNUSUAL SORTING EVER

Fascinating. Harry is so different. This only works for those who are really familiar with the original. The contrast is keeping the suspense up!

Basiclly a Harry Potter that could very well be Tony Stark in a childs body. Its just that our MC is even more inflexible than Stark.

Wow, I actually loved that whole ordeal. The sorting hat becoming more than it ever was. Honestly, the "Just kidding" was probably something that never occurred before and I loved it. I REALY hope that this goes on through the entirety of the storyline. Thank you for this wonderful experience, again I think this is better than Rowling's original tales. There's just so much more complexity here that is interesting to read. This has somehow spun off completely from all knowledge I've ever know of Harry Potter. Again LOVING IT.

Вот это диалог

While I'm not actually doing more than skimming (simply because I don't understand half of what I'm reading half the time, I feel stupid for it, because its too much rationality, for lack of better words, and scientific thought like for me to keep up), the end of this chapter had me laughing so hard I puked.

That ending ended me.

That hat is a sassy bitch

now if harry was knowledable brilliant genius befriended draco before ron exlained how powerful muggles are and that they arent a threat to wizarding world the problem was vernon a different husband maybe fravenclaw should be all the houses between all the houses the husband petunia married ahd encouraged harry trated him with love educated him properly

That was a magical chapter. The part about the fear of failure really gave me food for tought. Thank u

Just kidding! HOUSE OF EVIL DOOM

nonsense conversation with the sorting hat

JAJAJAJA ESE SOMBRERO PICHO JAJAJA

*gasp* ROTFLMHO

Not gonna lie, you got me there at the end. Wow, I love how in depth you're going with exploring different possibilities within Harry Potter, like "you know, what if the sorting hat was kinda conscious but kinda not?"

:)

This book is amazingly hilarious. would recommend to any Harry Potter fan. I gotta applaud you... you goood

COMMONS!

.. House .. of .. Frasier!

How are you doing this?

Hmm... this is very interesting as holding a conversation with a being which has some form of connection to your subconscious can only turn out *interesting*... still the question remains whether he the realisation that he could be a dark lord was already there and only lying dormant or if the hat itself sparked that train of thought... in case of the former it would be fascinating to study in what way this knowledge affects/affected decision making, in case of the latter it is to be observed how this conversation might impact the future...
Even so, isn’t Harry’s reasoning contradicting the pointed made when he talking to McGonagall during their visit in Diagon Alley? ‘One has to expect the worst possible outcome’? In which case he would *have* to expect himself to become a dark lord, by questioning his ability to uphold his resolve to do good... Or is it that in this case, ‘becoming a dark lord’ isn’t considered ‘the worst possible scenario’, but a rather preferable one to the thought of being unimportant on a grander scheme? In case of the latter that would open up a new variety of questions regarding his moral values though... as I said, very very interesting :3

What a garbage chapter

PLEASE HAHAHAHAHHA

Aww man. I kinda wanted to see this cold manipulative Harry in hufflepuff. Well at least he's been warned i guess.

LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL

I was so hoping slytherin too

Bitch, you nearly gave me a heart attack! Fuuuuck! Why is my heart STILL beating so damn hard!

Honestly. This is the most exciting shit that I rear all year. So, well done, man.

I am thoroughly thoroughly enjoying your well written and well researched story. Thank you!

OMG THIS HAT MAN GIVING ME HEART ATTACKS

The Sorting Hat is funny, haha.

I could attribute this to your insistence that " scientific" means more than the application of logic ususaly using a specific language (called mathematics) , or your gross/painfull inflation of most of psychology/psychiatry to the status of science.
Nope it's just your final decision to put a potentialy interesting Ravenclawesque Harry somewhere other than Griffyindor.

Successfull fanfiction required keeping some nugget of the original character. you lost that and this reader. That said, upt to chapter 10 . this was amazingly inventive and ocasionaly downright funny

jesus, ya' almost got me there.

LMAO the TRICKERY

Wow... That was something else... You really are a genius!

"Some students screamed, the pent-up tension was so great."

This is one of the funniest punchlines I've read in years, without a doubt! Thank you.

duuuude wtf what a troll ajajajjajajajajajajajajja you got me boy ajajajajajaj

This fanfic is so trashy. Only children could enjoy it.

This hat...

Slytherin good choice for Harry. Ravenclaw works too I suppose.

RAVENCLAW!

what the FUCK

GEB! this is why I love this fic so far, combining so many of my favourite things

oh ny gof

You sly dog! You actually got me for a second there, and I came here from the cesspool of spoilers called TV Tropes!

I almost died from laughter at 8:10 in the evening with coffee still stuck in my throat.

LOL... holy shit bruh... on the edge ofmy seat not going to lie.

XD

Oh my god that's fucking fantastic, I have never seen something so brilliant, an other take on the sorting hat and all that jazz, my fucking god how fantastic!

Pfffttt

This chapter about high-achieving children and the fear of not "realizing one's own potential" and the reasons for such a fear hit way too close to home.

oh my god- that was... i dont know how to word it other than intense as fuck

Tthis... is wonderful... I should just stop reviewing until end-of-book-one. Assume there's thirty comments about my awe.

Holy shit he actually got me with that one at the end omg

omg i am dying from this story the sorting hat has picked up his personality, i can't believe he siked him out like that as well as the whole school, what a d*c. and yet i love him for it XD

I was all like *gasp* you didn't! But then you went just kidding!
So i can breath now.
Keep on Writing
~LiB

Only read half again becomes too boring but hopefully will change.

This Harry might be one of the worst Harry’s I’ve read

God!
The sorting hat is clever but lastly, he had to give in.
Potter kid is something here.
At least Hermione's with him.
And this is entirely different from the original books but that makes it funnier.

Jesus, best sorting EVER MADE. I'm laughing and shaking my head and I try to convince myself that it had actually happened. Holy cow. I'm in awe.

LOL
"Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"

JUST KIDDING? G?!
Holy shit I don't think I've ever read such a hilarious Sorting hat conversation in my life! Just Kidding?
Omg

Can I marry the Sorting Hat

BRUH I THOUGHT HAHAAHAHHAHHAHA

This is the fucking best thing in the world and no one can say otherwise, for this type of fanfiction

OH MY GOODNESS! I've been a silent reader for SOOOO LONGG. And I was never tempted to change my status quo. But after reading this particular chapter. I JUST HAVE TO MAKE AN ACCOUNT AND POST A REVIEW! To be short, I. Fell. In. Love. With this! Oh come on, how can u not fell in love already? This is just so good in so many ways, and I've only read 10 chapters thus far!

Right, so on with the review. This chapters made me realise a few things. One, nobody's perfect, no matter how smart or powerful they, or others, think they are (even though they're in fact, prodigies). On the side note, I admire all of those science fact you've put on this ff. Those really broaden my knowldege wit lots of new, previously unknown, fields of study to me. Two, we all have dark thoughts that we don't really wanna admit. In fact, we fear it so much that we try to justify ourselves by rationalizing it. The best thing to do is to be honest, especially with yourself. If I think about it even more carefully, this chapter dwelve the phrase 'be honest with yourself' to an even deeper level. This moral value is way beyond any expectation I had when I first clicked on this.. Well then, last but definitely not least, Three, it's so wonderfully written and knowledgeable. I learnt more than just a few new vocabularies by reading this. Of course, in this aspect, this is not the only ff to be informational, but it is quite a bit above the others in the 'new vocab learning' aspect. I'm not saying other fanfics are bad in any form, because I do enjoy and like a lot of fanfic. But I'm trying to say that this fanfic, though definitely not perfect, is definitely worth your time! Even if its currently 122 chapters long.

Well needless to say, I love this fanfic and I look forward on continue reading it. Hopefully anyone who reads this review finds it helpful and non-offensive

oh my fucking god

My heart stopped XD

Ha!

BAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHA yep, the Sorting Hat is so my favorite character!

The sorting hat is a pure-blooded troll~

IJ the oblivious one

I've tried reading this multiple times and this chapter is where I have gotten lost every time. Harry is a horrific hypocrite in this chapter refusing to believe that he could possibly be wrong in a fundemental way and while I know that he is eleven and true deep introspection is difficult for anyone let alone a child who is actually gifted but his utter refusal to believe he couldn't suceed in his goals anywhere is equally horrifying. In this we see a person refuse to take a safer option, one they know for a fact to be safer on the basis of a fear they refuse to even acknowledge despite having it presented to them and it seems out of character for what we have seen from Harry in this story so far, he has shown that he is willing to admit to being wrong and apologize for it and the first time he finds a 'person' who knows him at least as well as he does himself he refuses to take their advice when it is the most true and personally relevant form of advice anyone could litterally ever give as it comes from his own mind. This story is fun and I want to look past this but this sort of feels like a 'kick the puppy to prove I'm evil' moment of the story in that this set of actions is made exclusively to say that harry is probably more evil than he cares to admit as if we the audience don't already know that and that Harry being in Hufflepuff removes the possibility of him ending up being the next dark lord is frankly absurd, but it certainly would reduce the chance by more than any other action right now. This is a kid who has spent his whole life wanting to understand the world, I was there so very much, and the thing that was deep inside me was that my want to control the world around me through knowledge was to find a what I was missing in my life someone who got me and still cared for me, which Harry most certainly wants even if he won't or can't admit it to himself. Further the joke in the end clearly is meant as a joke but it shows that Harry knew the hate was right all along and was a single act away from admiting it which to me proves he shouldn't have refused to listen to reason the very thing he is attempting to bring to the story. This isn't a story about Harry learning to approach himself better, or at least that isn't what the last nine chapters have implied instead it has been about Harry applying rationality to the irrational wizarding world and yet here we are shown that when it matters the most Harry is just as much unwilling to appy rationality to a situation making the entire point of this switch from a story about a paragon to the story of a flawed and ultimately foolish character, even if everyone around him is more foolish. It just clashes with the story so far to the point of breaking my suspension of disbelief in a way I rarely ever run into in fiction, to the point I put down a story I was enjoying and found well written. I think this is the only story I have ever gotten to thsi point so intensely.

WOW! The sorting bat trolling Harry do hard jeez LOLLL

In my defense, though entirely my own fault, I have fallen victim to the fallacy of assumption in that prior to this chapter, I had always assumed that the sorting that was already self-conscious. However now that I've read this chapter I feel I must investigate as to the truth in my assumptions so thank you, and screw you too...

Jesus that was tense!

This is more or less like every tough conversation I've had with inner self or versions of inner self. Fabulous.

Holy shit dude this is the greatest thing ive ever read

...I have no words

What the hell. I freaking loved everything about this chapter, though I was secretly hoping that Harry would be placed in Gryffindor anyways just to see the hilarity that would ensue. This fic is fantastic! I can't believe I haven't come across it until now

I just know Snape is going to blame Harry for dropping that cup on his sensitive bits... ouch...

his

NO! SLYTHERIN! HARRY IS THE MOST CUNNING LITTLE SCIENTIFIC AMBITIOUS-
I’m kidding, I love him in either house. But I LOVED his conversation with the hat and the reactions of Hogwarts.

Lmfao

OMG THE HAT IS A SLY BASTARD jahdlfjskfbdj

Lol

I thought when the hat talked about horrific realization it meant sending him to griffindor (because he kinda is a wanna-be hero) but the just kidding at the end was great!

WHAT IN MERLINS SOGGY WET BOOTS WAS THIS CHAPTER

I love your Sorting Hat. And I ought to thank you because you're enlarging my life by the Mean of Crazy Laugh.
It's the best ever xD

...you sly bastard.

Harry Potter and the Chronic Infodump.

Oh my fucking god. I cannot stop laughing

Wow, this was very intense. I could feel my pulse rising with every line of text.

Again, and again, I'm enjoying this SO VERY MUCH and laughing out loud (everyone is looking at me xDD)

Omfg the sorting hat joking at the end of the chapter gives me life XD XD XD

Upon rereading the conversation with the Sorting Hat scene, I am struck by just how clever it is. During my first reading, I must have missed that the hat can only read forming thoughts, not memories, meaning that it could not have presented Harry with the evidence of him bullying Neville, or him wanting to execute the blood purists as proof. To do so, Harry would have had to have been thinking of them in the first place, meaning that he was essentially arguing against an equal and opposite version of himself and simply didn't want to admit it.

There is of course, always the chance that it was a mistake on the author's part, but I doubt it. There is also the chance that the hat was lying from the start. After all, when Harry asked whether this was its strangest conversation, it replied with no, this could not happen if it was supposedly the "first time this has ever happened."

This could of course be the hat's new found sense of humour coming into play, but again, I doubt it. That the hat is lying is supported, in part, by its instance, almost desperation, that Harry is sent to Hufflepuff, or Gryffindoor. This could be Harry's subconscious desire for friends of warmth or whatever, but again, I doubt it.

Phew. The Sorting Hat scene is definitely one of my favourites simply for the pure potential that it has.

Oh my god that was absolutely frightening! I felt Harry’s despair so accutely at the end the relief is staggering now

This chapter is mainly composed of Harry arguing with the sorting hat. It is incredible.

Oh my god

OK, u even had me on the ropes here.

Fuzbekabkansaudb

OH YOU HAD ME FOR A GOOD MINUTE THERE XD

DANG!

U really SHOCKED me for a moment!

*Laughter so boisterous it led to choking and wheezing.*

Whoever you are, Less Wrong, I think I adore you.

I just laughed out loud in the middle of work. The goddamn bait&switch

OMG what a little fucker that hat ! :D aaahahahahahahah i was like WTFFF :D :D :D :D

So much of a hut.
Loved it.

I'm so glad that self-awareness gave the Sorting Hat the opportunity to make everyone shit themselves with the prank of the century. Truly, that's excellent.

OMFG THAT ENDING! I literally shouted no at Slytherin, lol.
I really enjoyed this chapter. It was so satisfying for the Sorting Hat to put Harry in his place re: his rationalisation of how he treated Neville. I really needed that to continue to like this Harry.
Great conversation and insight into Harry's head. It's reminded me not to take him at his word, because he's good at fooling himself.

I quite like your take on Hermione and Draco in this (even if I found Harry initially painful around Hermione, lol). Can't wait to see how the rest unfolds.

A Sorting Hat joke o something more? Slytherin is dangerous for this Harry.

hahaha omg

Fucking Hat

Oh my gosh! I loved the parents, the sorting hat, ...everything!

wh- I just... Whaaaaaa?

Loving this so far. It truly is a work of genius, despite being slightly confusing at times. I feel honoured to be able to read something so brilliant.

pffff HHAHAHAHAHAHAWHUFKWHDUKS

Omg, the ending. When the hat said, 'Slytherin', my mind was exploding and I was mentally screaming and then I scrolled down and read the last sentence. This chapter (along with the previous ones) broke my mind. What the heck. XD
Overall, I'm loving it so far.

omg you troll me! after a chapter full of harry's sorting, you still managed to troll people! I can't help but laughing lol

Hahahahaha, the House of Doom, it sounds awful to be sorted into it. The last sentence was so funny, the whole conversation was really interesting and I love hiw the hat played Harry.

The sorting hat, trollin’ like a boss.

My fucking god. I love this fanfic...

I...uh...didn't know the hat could do that...

XDDDDD Omg, why do you do this to me! Poor McGonagall must be having a heart attack right now!

This had been the most awesome sorting version i have ever heard. Temporary self awareness? Beautiful. I have to say, so far, I am hooked, and i saw its over a hundred chapters. Give me a week to read, buahahahha (evil laugh).
Also, Ms. Perks? That sentence is absolutely spot on. And the Hat made a Joke? What happened to our dear "put me on and i will tell you where you ought to be?" Harry is devilishly sly and incredibly logical.

Thank you and I shall resume my reading. Much love!

Dude or dudet, that is totally focked up

This book is work a galleon per chapter XD that last part just made me squeak out Why?! gosh im so glad i found this

Tut, tut, tut... Should have been a Syltherin. Anyways great story so far!

OMGGGGGGG

GO SORTING HAT GO!##!

HOLY SHIT!

I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THE REVEAL OF THE SORTING I WOKE UP MY WHOLE HOUSE.

THAT WAS AMAZING THANK YOU

Holy shit that was madness. Would Hufflepuff really have been better for Harry? I'm starting to wonder how many years this story will span. I hope all 7.

I like the story, but Harry equating Lenin and Hitler is the parroting the imperialist propaganda. Hitler was the imperialist colonizer and not very different from Churchill, for ex, who had praised Hitler too.
From the beginning Hitler was a racist (like Churchill too) who cared not at all about "untermensh" and wanted to colonize and enslave Slavs, like Churchill colonized Indians, Africans and the Irish. Lenin had done NOTHING like this and was a keen anti-colonialist.

Nowadays, internet meme culture would prompt me to say in response to the Sorting Hat's lil joke at the end: "Unrealistic. Blocked." Hahaha. I loved it.

Man, I actually bought that for a second and was horrified :))

oh sweet Lord! I love your ending! I haven't laughed so hard or so long from a book in years! I think my family thinks I'm a fool or that I'm more insane than they thought. thank you

Oh my God...the Sorting Hat..it just...he just had a full chapter.

You're killing me here! But, oh my goodness was that HILARIOUS! I like how you portrayed the Sorting Hat, I don't think I've ever seen anyone do it like that!

OMG, the Sorting Hat kids! That was amazing! I am very interested in Harry's future!

As if the sorting hat can even joke about sending a kid to the wrong house! I can't believe this! BUT ITS BLOODY BRILLIANT I HAVE TO READ MORE UGHHHHHH

How isn't everyone's first thought of a sorting hat about the hat's own self awareness.

You are so good at writing the perspective of a smart child, and I love the new contrast Hermione is providing. But more importantly, generations are going to be haunted by "just kidding," coming out of the sorting hat's mouth.

best. prank. ever. you evil, magnificent person.

OH HE CAN DO THAT BECAUSE HE GOT A SENSE OF HUMOR DIDN'T HE?
(By the way I love this and every thing about this and thank you so so much)

The hat is a troll. Just saying.

You tattered asshole, Hat.

I SWEAR HE COMES FROM THE CANON TIMELINE IT WOULD MAKE SO MUCH SENSE

I actually really want to see Dark Lord Harry James Potter-Evans-Somethingorother become a thing

Oh that hurt. I tried laughing but oh! The pain!

... ... ... HAHAHAHAHGAHAGAHAGAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU SLYTHERIN PRICK! XD PULLING THAT PRANK ON US!HAHAHAHA

Brilliant! I feel the urge to clap.

You gave me a heart attack with that last minute ravenclaw sorting omg

LMFAO OMG

This was an amazingly introspective chapter! You really captured the struggle between pursuing happiness and greatness, and put my exact feelings into words :) I really enjoyed reading this!

Wow - what a very long and interesting hat stall!

Hah, too easy. Good job Hat.

I KNEW IT HAHAHAHAHAHA

What the actual f-ck! This was hilarious!

Thaaaat baaaastard Sorting Hat.:D Kidding.. Kidding with such important thing... HHeheheheeee!:D Amazingly irritating situation:D:D

I tried. It's a very interesting theory, and the technical detail you put into the story is impressive, but your writing style just isn't appealing to me. Not a critique just a personal sensibility. impressive story either way sorry I'm unable to remain interested in it.

I have to say, you have caused me to laugh hysterically many times, so far. I can't wait for the rest of the story! (BTW) I love your Harry!

1. This chapter was difficult to analyze. Half way through, and all I got is a wide smile at Harry's major "dark lord" plans. Other than that, the science and thought are somewhat obscuring any smbolism or foreshadowing. Very difficult indeed.
2. Oohh, so Harry starts getying over instantly using clever ideas the moment he gets them in THIS chapter? No wonder he drives Draco and Hermoine so crazy. Especially Draco.
3. Finally! Found the symbolism WITHIN the conversation, PERTAINING to science. So Harry KNOWS that something bad will happen if he doesn't chase his full potential, if he sits back and lets others strive for greatness. Ignoring the foreshadowing, I can now see the parallels with the field of AI. The field itself is destined for "greatness", so we need the greatest minds to lead it in the right direction.
4. (Wipes tear from eye) Ah, Sorting Hat. Your prank gets me every time. I've got a feeling your creator (Less Wrong) mostly made that scene because it was fun to do, in addition to opening a few more doors, plot-wise. The schools reaction is just golden; I only wish I could have seen Dumbledore's as well.

"Just kidding" I'm sure that hat almost killed half the hall of heart attack

Bruh... That's just rude

That hat was brutal.

I'm totally amazed with their conversation ... it's so enjoyable to read. And the last part ... I shocked for a moment and then got another surprise immediately, it's such a roller coaster ride.
And Severus's reaction is my favorite. XD

I LOVE YOU

This has been the single most interesting sorting conversation I have ever read. I love the idea that the hat is a mirror of the individual wearing it and that the students ultimately sort themselves.

yes.

4 chapters later, and I'm being steadily drawn farther in. Gotta admit, that was an insanely clever way to interpret the Sorting Hat's magic. Most fans assume that it is at least mostly sentient instead of what is essentially a magic computer program on a thumb drive being plugged in and run using the kid's brain as the CPU and their memory as, well, the memory.

And yet, your system makes just as much sense with the context provided, especially given the dialogue (or would that be monologue since it did most of the talking?) it had with Harry when he was being sorted in canon.

"Just kidding."

Did you seriously just make the sorting hat say that at a such a serious, impacting moment? Honestly, if anybody oughta be kidding at this moment, it ought to be you kidding me. This is grossly OOC and unrealistic.

I actually think that your Harry would fit quite well in Slytherin and before you had come with the ridiculous, "Just kidding, haha. It's Ravenclaw!" skit, I had actually thought that it was the perfect place for him to go. I'd been anticipating him being sorted into Slytherin, actually.

He's ambitious, he's cunning, he's manipulative, and certainly has an everlgrowing thirst for power. These are the things that the house of Slytherin is supposed to be about. You've got you're view all skywed. Slytherins are most certainly NOT all evil how you have made them out to be, and that house isn't all about that.

I have read this before, but every time I read the end of this chapter I want to set both the hat and this story on fire.

Aw man! I was seriously hoping for Slytherin! Regardless, this is the best FF that I have ever read.

Honestly think that was abit to much.

lol

This chapter was perfect

Awesome, well-written, and clever chapter!

HAHAHAHAH Sorting Hat you sly bastard

This fic is truly amazing. I've just read the first 10 chapters and at times it really had me going. Buuut this level of science and it all blending with magic is just way past my 15 year old level of comprehension and I have even developed a headache from trying. So for now im gonna drop it and maybe have another go at a later date lol.

my god that was way to funny, the sorting hat is an asshole. simply beautiful.

"You sly little BASTARD"
D I love it.

The conversation with himself is just Wonderful! And you got me at Slytherin - I think I stopped breathing there for a bit

Just kidding !

OMG the sorting hat is such a troll! That was fricking amazing.

I have been struggling to empathise with your version of Harry, being clever is one thing but I don't see why you feel the need to go so far. You don't have to be so clever that you become a socially inept arsehole who feels the need to belittle everybody else to be in ravenclaw. This strikes me as a fundamental misunderstanding of what the houses truly represent. Your little dig at Rowling for not putting Hermione in ravenclaw is uncalled for, and again fundamentally fails to acknowledge what the houses represent, she is clever and studies a lot, yes, but that is not the same as being wise.

But boy do you redeem yourself here in this chapter, finally Harry is put in his place and you acknowledge that everybody has the potential to be in any house, it is the choices that are as important as what is truly inside. The exchange here was brilliantly tense, even if your synopsis does spoil the fact he will get into Ravenclaw anyway.

I should also acknowledge that this is not the first point that you start being balanced, up until now you have demonstrated that gryffindors can be flawed individuals as much as the rest and that Hufflepuffs are not as useless as the books would have us believe. It's also clear you are going to shine a more sympathetic light on Slytherin. My above criticism is mostly nitpicking.

I never would have imagined the workings and the physics that goes into the working of the sorting hat. I was shocked when Harry was sorted into Slytherin... but was changed into Ravenclaw. Could the hat do that?

Its really much simpler, ask yourself, do you desire good or evil? intention above all else. We make mistakes, shit happens, The world is not perfect, if it was we would know it and it is even possible we wouldnt exist if it was perfect. Therefor, intention above all else. Ofcourse there comes a problem if you lack the ability to be honest with yourself and thus you might claim you want good even though deep, deep down you know you want evil because you are an ass. You can even change my little sentence "intention above all else" into "source above all else" fi you want to use it elsewhere. Its quite nice and i feel a silly pride for it that id rather not.

Why.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I love this so much!

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I love this so much!

I just remembered why I enjoyed this so much. The humor is simply exquisite and perfectly suited to my tastes; I burst out laughing like I did the first time when the Sorting Hat sorted Harry. Oh Gods! XD
You deserve all the love, Eliezor.

For a second I got scared there in the end. Whew!

This is amazing! The Sorting Hat hat has never been imagined this way... I think..

Never. Never in my entire life have I laughted as loud at a book as I have reading this chapter. This is not an exaduration. You're a genius.

"Juuust Kidding" xD. I keep bursting into laughter and I am irritating my mother :)

This killed me... Actually killed me.
In other news, I like your idea of how the Sorting Hat works. I never gave it much thought, but a mirror-like reflection of children's minds does make a lot of sense, and it explains why the kids can refuse to go into certain houses even if they're best suited for them. Just thought it was cool

Well, that was certainly unique.

So I was wrong, but also kind of right. Glad the hat was kidding about that last bit.

Wtah

The scene between Harry and the sorting hat was fantastic. As were the previous ones with Drako and Hermione. I'm now willing to assume that you are incapable of writing bad material and that all further compliments along these lines will be simply redundant. Even so, I've got to say this is great stuff. So entertaining. I keep reading whole sections over just for the enjoyment. I was just dying, trying to figure out where Harry was doing to be placed. And that last joke by the sorting hat just blew me away!

Oh my...this was perfect! the hat is just kidding

NFC

Hahahahahahaha

Yah, you better take that back hat!

wow, the sorting hat, would def be my best friend in world domination

...this defies my whole hp reality lolll just kidding!

I love that explanation of how the Sorting Hat works! It makes way more sense that it essentially allows the children to sort themselves, rather than the implied explanation in the books, where it seems weirdly omniscient for no good reason.

I also love seeing Harry finally get a taste of his own medicine, and being reminded that, despite his intelligence, he doesn't know everything.

Oh my...REALLY!?

SERIOUSLY!?

*headdeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddeskheaddesk*

(I just finished the sorting chapter btw, that was my reaction. I felt you'd enjoy it).

Eee!i love the sorting hat, that prankster piece of cloth. :D Thank you for writing!

Haha I fell out of my chair laughing. if this keep up I might have to stop reading so the class will stop looking at me funny.

Harry's intelligence made the Sorting Hat gain sentience... that is awesome. Such an interesting conversation. No shock that Harry could be worse than any other Dark Lord though. Nice seeing the Sorting Hat actually have a sense of humor, including announcing he would be Slytherin. So he'll be in Ravenclaw. It suits him, that's for sure.

The last couple of sentences were gold. I nearly gave my cat a heart attack I laughed so hard. Instead she ran into the window and broke it so thanks.

LOL I'm laughing so hard right now! That was by far the best sorting I have ever read before! :D

Oh I AM going to enjoy this fic. I got distracted from a project by Fallout 4. I got distracted from Fallout 4 by Starcraft 2. I got distracted by Starcraft 2 by this fic... I am so screwed...

WHAT A TROLL. I thought as well that he was destinied for Slytherin, then the Sorting Hat comes up and say JUST KIDDING, RAVENCLAW.

I can imagine Ms McGonagall thinking, 'The hat has never done this before. He's spread his insanity AGAIN'

YAS

i reeeeeeally regret not reading this story earlier. this smart allecky humour has had me cackling at random moments in public already and i'm only up to the 10th chapter. i really like harry's parents as they are actually loving. i thought harry's plan to own the wizarding world through wizard-muggle exchange rates was very clever when you ignore the fact that he would have an entire nation of angry goblins after him for cheating them out of their profits. i absolutely loved harry and draco's first meeting and thought his reaction to muggles having reached the moon was just as good. i like that this harry is so knowledgeable as i feel that as well as getting a few chuckles out of him i am also learning as i read. for instance i had never even heard of positive bias before. i look forward to the next 10 chapters

Sorting Hat, you Magnificent Bastard I read your BOOK!

That was a most mind-boggling convoluted conversation... please do not repeat... poor head...

*drops a f***-bomb* JEGUS! Sorting Hat self-awareness just... AUUUGH!

Oh, good grief! The second I saw "SLYTHERIN!" I started cracking up, between the tears I glanced down to see the "Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!" And of course started cracking up even more. Then I had the privilege of going back and reading the between and it's a wonder I didn't die right there.

Thank you, thank you very much.

Ive read this whole story once already and im doing it again cause its good.

The Hat should have just thrown him into Gryffindor or Hufflepuff! I like that the Hat trolled everyone at the end though.

bad bad sorting hat... bad harry too

OMG I just realised! At the end the first letters of the words are JK! R! Oh my freaking Godric I cannot believe I didn't see it before!

Oh that was genius! I felt every bit of the creeping realisation, the building horror that Harry did... the laughter with which I greeted the last line was as much an explosion of relief as genuine belly-busting mirth. I heart you :D

Good sir, I've only recently started the journey with this truly wonderful work of art that you have created. It's been amazing so far, with you creating a completely different world from Rowling's - your Harry is one of true greatness. Might I ask if you are a scientist yourself? You have a fantastic grasp on everything rational and whatever that could possibly explained with modern science. Harry's internal monologue is the absolute best part of the story.

I was reading on the mobi version of the book but just had to log on here and leave a review after this chapter.

This was probably the greatest battle of wits I've seen written. Ever. Period. True mastery of two great minds duking it out with each other, gracefully expressed and delivered.

Bravo, sir. Though I know you've finished the story, I can't wait to continue on my own journey and view your takes on the world of Harry Potter. I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

YOU HAD ME GOING THERE FOR A MINUTE! I was so worried. XD I was really looking forward to a story that was well written and had Harry in Ravenclaw, and my hopes were crushed and resurrected so many time during this chapter.

Oh my god, I died.

Oh... my... hell. Brilliant and

Holy shit, this chapter was deep! Ending was awesome though. xD

Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!
lmfao so much in this part. In my mind I envisioned Dumbledore going "what the fuck?" at the sorting hat making a joke.

Oh my god, I actually laughed out loud at this chapter. Great story, and somehow you have managed to make science hilarious.

The Hat has a sense of humor! Slytherin! No wait, JK, he's actually Ravenclaw. LOL :)

I laughed out loud at the last line. Oh my goodness, just. Just. The authour has reduced me to a blathering mess of 'justjustjustwow'. I'm completely iin love/i with this epic. Thanks for the authour once again.

- Mann (You can find me on tumblr at asexualtomriddle.)

Hi.
Ok, so that was just plain evil... Something i would believe if you did a Naruto/HP crossover where Naruto somehow ended up as the sorting hat. Only that he would probably throw paint bombs and steal people's food as well.
Ravenclaw it is, so i bet Harry and Hermione are both happy... The Weasleys, probably not so much. Hagrid? Pfth! So long as he doesn't end in Slytherin he probably won't care. McGonagall is probably happy that she doesn't have to kill the no-longer-sentient-hat, so there is that :p
Keep up the good work :)

hakon2feb.

Okay, I don't like Harry right now. But, really, I don't know what I would do if I were - oh, wait, I've been Sorted in several RPGs and I get Gryffindor every fricking time even though I can't stand how horrible they are to others...damned integrity. I've been told about that one, too, so maybe several virtual Sortings can actually be on the mark...also, damn you for leading us off the same cliff as everyone in the Great Hall in this chapter.

Wow. Just wow. I guess that's lazy, but what more is there to say? So much drama for the answer we already knew! But well done.

ahw, I liked him going to Hufflepuff

I had seen some art work for this on DA (which is how I found this story), so I already knew that Harry was going to be in Ravenclaw - and then the Sorting Hat said, "Slytherin", and I actually felt my heart skip a beat. Damn that Sorting Hat! Geez . . . (though I bet if it had said Gryffindor, that gasp of horror would've came from McGonagall - and Snape's reaction - ouch!)

Oh.. that was EVIL!

those poor souls - I sure hope he does not turn evil. He can keep the mad scientist muhahaha, but everything else I hope is good.

Gosh dang it hat you little shit. Wow.

He made the hat make a joke! Now that's funny. And wow, he really had to argue not to be in Hufflepuff. At least there's a better chance or protecting Luna next year.

I loved the sorting scene!

Jaw dropping ending, then relief and laughter! whew.

Poor Severus, he needs an ice bag.

Poor McGonagall she was fretting and now she's going completely grey with this sorting. xD!

The hat is now self-aware. hmm. wonder if it's going to be in more chapters... lol.

don't tell me please. I'll find out tomorrow. Must sleep ... -yawnyawnyawn-

-his

God I _so_ love this chapter.
Such great use of narrative elements, too. And wonderful heaps of humour...something I miss in the chapters of late (which are, arguably, much tenser and very exciting in their own right).

I just rolled over laughing so hard i cried. X.D X'D

Lining up all the blood purists and guillotining them... Hahaha. This is hilarious. It's all in the mirror, isn't it?

This is pure... I don't even know what to call it anymore. Awesomeness would work, but even awesomeness has a limit...

Wha-!

Wow...okay.

Its a rare piece of writing that actually becomes a source of inspiration for writing projects I'm currently working on. Thank you...that whole scene with the hat, which was well done by the way, helped me better develop an issue I've been tryingf to figure out for my own writing at present.

Oh my... it's been years seens i laugh so hard reading something (and i read, believe me). I doubt that you read me with all this reviews but THANK YOU for that Sorting Hat moment ! :D

Yo u do enjoy you last second twists.

I really liked the idea of Harry being sorted into Hufflepuff, I feel like if there was ever a house to raise an army and take over the world it would be Hufflepuff. They're loyal so they'll stick to their leader and never betray them once you have their loyalty. They're hard-workers and good finders so they'd get the job done and do it right with a good foundation so all the 'work' doesn't unravel with a few blows.

First time reader here. Man, I'm sure your ego has been many times inflated by this kind of review, but this fic is phenomenal. I love your writing style, and I love how you incorporate your theories into the story flawlessly. It's relatively clear that HJPEV is your mouthpiece and the device used to explore rationality in the context of an irrational universe, but that doesn't take away from the sheer splendor. You subvert the original so well: I really appreciated how the discussion was centered on Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff here, rather than the other two houses in the original. Also, Gryffindor is the "Hufflepuff" of this universe (undeservedly despised, haha) and I love it! It also helps that you never fail to slip in the snarky humor ("get off my lawn"). I basically only read gen with dark souls and snarky humor so this is right up my alley. Can't wait to get through the rest of this in a matter of weeks!

Wow, i love the way you write! The bit at the end made me laugh. I love your plot and can't wait to read more!

So, I made it through the 10 chapters, and although the story has fantastic moments of humor, it is fairly boring. However, I do agree that Hermonie definitely should have been a Ravenclaw. I love the concept of the fic, because what Harry Potter fan hasn't tried to rationalize the world or thought of combing the muggle society to the magical one. The only problem is Harry's character is so annoying that I can't look past it to appreciate the story itself. That, and I love Ron. It's very well written though.

I have never read the actual Harry Potter books but have watched the movies. From that perspective, I felt that your writing was good and full of description. However; I do not like the Harry in this story. He has been completely changed, the only thing similar to the original Harry Potter series are the sames and locations with some coinciding times. Maybe if you had kept more details from the original story, you could have made your version far better. Your grammar and spelling were very good, I did not find any mistakes. I also don't like how Harry is portrayed with his pretentiousness towards other including adults. He has been made into an asshole. I feel like if his charter was made to be more humble and caring the story would also progress in a better fashion as well. Overall, the first ten chapters were interesting and well written.

I love the personality of the Sorting Hat. This is quite possibly the only fic where I've seen a semi-animate object have so much personality and it is absolutely wonderful. (The fact that anybody would dare to tell McGongagall to get of their lawn is amazing)

Your take on Harry is absolutely delightful and I'm so excited to read more.

OMG LMAO! Man, I was literally hanging off my seat the entire time Harry was being sorted. The part that got me was that last line in this chapter. I admit, this is one of the most confusing stories I've ever had the pleasure of coming across. The theories and scientific mentionings have undoubtedly befuddled me. I'm not quite aware what this story's intended audience is, but I'm still a very ignorant adolescent. Even as I'm writing this review, I'm stuggling to synthesize my words to sound professional and articulate as your characters. That's all I really have to say; I'm so sorry if this review was rather meaningless, but I just had to say something!

This fanfiction was very, very intriguing. The idea of a Harry Potter raised by a Muggle professor, and raised to understand the real world through the laws of physics, is incredible. I can't wait to see what the limitations are on magic and in how magic is explained to break the laws of physics. I also liked how I recognized some of the techniques Harry has mentioned, though I came across them as a college student, and not a kid.
I also love how you portrayed Wizarding Britain so far, seeing as how the pureblood ideology has really influenced the way society works. The lack of scientific knowledge is completely realistic in my opinion, given how isolated the Wizarding World appears to be from the muggle one. The reference that Lucius Malfoy makes in one of the chapters (eight or nine) where he believes Harry to be Professor Snape's friend almost made me laugh, because it just shows that, once again, wizards and common sense don't mix.

That being said, I have a difficult time with the characters themselves. While I respect and understand the premise of the story, the best way (for me) to read a story is to want to see character growth and change. So far, the only character Harry's age I've liked and seen potential in is Draco Malfoy. Harry's morally questionable decisions are fine (I'm not him, I'm also not his mother) but my main problem is his arrogance. He frustrates me at every point because he seems like he has to be the one to do everything-it's not even a hero complex, it just bothers me. I respect that this is probably due to his upbringing, and mainly because he's being treated like a child when he's so intelligent, but he's like a less likable version of Artemis Fowl at this point in his development and I find it hard to see his potential. At least Artemis was portrayed with a sense of mystery.
Neville clearly has potential but there is no notice or mention made of that-it's just brushed to the side, because Harry doesn't care. And Hermione is the same; all she counts as is competition.
I will probably grow to like your story more in the future, should I keep reading it, but I'm having a hard time wanting to continue because I don't like Harry. I don't know exactly what it is about him that rubs me the wrong way but he does.

I do have one critique of your writing style: watch how many times you emphasize things. This can either make a story really corny or cheesy or make it really good. So far, you've been good at keeping it to a minimum, but it's something to keep in mind for the future.

Really great idea, and I would love to see more of it! Keep up the good work!

Oh dear god, this may possibly be the most brilliant and self-aware fic I've ever read. Also, all the science, all the logic, it makes so. much. sense. That's fantastic. Your Harry is a brand new, quite epic character, yet holds true to being a young little boy with a hell of a lot of ego. I love it.

I hope this review finds you well. After reading the ten chapters, I can say that your take on the Harry Potter world is very fascinating. I've never thought to analyze it in a scientific way like you have. The multi-faceted Harry that you have created keeps me on my toes as to what he is going to do or say next. Your chapters are so full of details and complex thought process that I can actually follow. I know how hard it is to have your readers understand those types of long blocks of texts, and you do it really well. Keep up the great writing!

I have enjoyed this story so far, and I am honestly surprised I hadn’t found it before this. I enjoyed the idea of what would have happened if Harry’s upbringing would have been different, but I was confused on Petunia. If she hated her own sister based on magic why did her opinion change for Harry; even with her marriage to another? Other than that I enjoyed the story. The look on intelligence and power and whether what you want compared to what would be better for you was interesting. People tend to think if things deviate from their plans they will fail (such as not going to Ravenclaw), and they forget that there are both advantages and disadvantages with every path and choice in life.

That was DROLL!

Your story prompted me to make myself a fan fiction login, something I have never done before. I haven't gotten my confirmation email yet, but I couldn't wait another second before telling you how incredibly fantastic this fanfic is! Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

weird.

HAHAHHAHAHA WHO KNEW THE SORTING HAT COULD JOKE

This was the best Sorting that I've ever read. You've got a great sense of humour, and I find it really impressive that you're able to think in all directions. It is safe to say that this chapter rules out the possibility of the seventh horcrux.

omg that hat wow

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Harry of the House of Doom. :D

Damn. And I had been extremely satisfied, too. It's almost funny. I kept wondering if any part of Harry realized how similar he was to the Gryffindors he kept insulting. His desire to be a hero seems to still be extant, even in this extremely intelligent version of him, though it's not quite a hero complex. He keeps speaking of "saving" everyone, and defeating Voldemort, etc. Insert rolling of eyes here. If you're writing a verging-on-unlikable, extremely flawed character with naught but his intelligence to guide him, you're doing an excellent job. He's almost in antihero territory. I was fervently hoping the Hat would knock some sense into him somehow, perhaps even knock him off his pedestal, or at least down a few pegs, but nope. He got what he wanted and stayed as blind as before.

Lmfao. That was perfect.

What is this horrific realization the Hat expected Harry to get? I can't seem to puzzle that bit out. The rest is fine and I am loving this story very much as reading it feels like brain training and a heap of fun. You sir will be stealing my sleep.

Cheers
Keep Writing

"Just Kidding"? Well, what thoughts that line must have caused... hmm. Luv this!

This chapter is beautiful. Professor McGonagall's thoughts and the ending just... I burst out laughing. Thank you!

Omg, just choked at the end. Lol!

...

*rolls on the ground* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Anyám- I mean, my god this was hilarious! Who would have thought the Sorting Hat had a sense of humor? X,D

This is amazing writing. I love the extent to which I feel like I'm inside Harry's head. I also love the finale.

ghtedr45t 6by76vt5xcrtghu y67i9 t5hy

...

Sorry about that. I was banging my head on my keyboard.

I doubt the Hat has ever done a Just Kidding before.

I'm thinking never, ever, in all the years of it's existence has the Sorting Hat done something like that before.

"Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"

It is now almost 4 am.

I should go to bed.

I am not going to go to bed.

When the sorting hat said Slytherin, I nearly had a heart attack.

Author.

You are amazing.

LOVED this chapter. And yay! for Harry not getting sorted into either Gryffindor or Slytherin.

Lol that was funny

I nearly shrieked when I heard that hat, but laughed so incredibly hard when it spoke again.

you certainly know how to balance out humor with drama and tension, while harry is far smarter then cannon he's also far more morally ambiguous. since the hat is a reflection of its wearer its no surpise that it questions harry so intensively and mocks him. harry's far less self confident then he appears

You cant change houses twicein the same against Hogwarts Laws.

You know what? I suddenly don't wish that sort of extreme intellectual compartmentalization upon any other living being anymore. I will now proceed with banging my head upon the wall.

Hey, nice story.

I freaking love this story this chapter was exceptional going on the list as my favorite hahaha so funny

... what just happened? The sorting hat has a sense of humor? What is the world coming to ...

If the Sorting Hat had balls, they'd be big as melons and made of diamond.

Sorting Hat, you are such a freakin' troll! LMFAO

That last bit was well-done, I think. Note that I'm writing this about half an hour after I finished reading the chapter, having needed that time to calm down after that last bit.

:D :D :D Best chapter ever!

Oh my gods this chapter was amazing, like it not only knocked my socks off but blew them thrice around the world and back where they lodged themselves in my cranium.

OH MY GODS THIS IS PRICELESS!
I have ALWAYS wanted the hat to do something like that, to change its verbal decision. And the conversation... THIS STORY IS PRICELESSSSS OH MY GODS!

"Just kidding" ?

Now I'm regretting more than ever my decision to finish this fanfic as quickly as possible because this entire chapter has required me to carefully read every single word of text. And honestly, that never happens. I usually fast-read, absorbing as much as I can as quickly as I can, but this... this... THIS ENTIRE CHAPTER LONG CONVERSATION between Harry and the Sorting Hat... I literally couldn't process the words fast enough if I read it like I normally do... The point is, my challenge to myself is going to take a LONG time...
All my regrets aside, however, THERE WAS SO MUCH SUSPENSE! AND I RUINED IT FOR MYSELF! I LITERALLY WOULDNT LET MYSELF READ AHEAD A SINGLE LINE JUST SO I WOULDN'T FIND OUT WHERE HARRY IS GOING TO BE SORTED AHEAD OF TIME! And you know what I did when I saw the word SLYTHERIN? I couldn't help automatically scrolling down and reading the words "Just kidding! RAVENCLAW"
It totally ruined the effect as I quickly read the words between the two capitalized words, and I am extremely mad at myself for that.
Wow
This is the first time I've felt it necessary to leave a review three chapters in a row! You, whoever you may happen to be, are a genius.

Wait, the hat can do that!? *Cue loud "Nooo!"*

Phew, THAT was a sorting. Troll hat is a troll, well done.

And that is how you effectively drop a verbal bomb onto a gathering of angsty teenagers!

Ooooo - That's the kind of prank that will get a magical hat run through a shredder at some point!

This is totally brilliant! Thank you for writing this! I mean this with sincerity too (I always worry that my sincerity is being misconstrued as sarcasm). The sorting hat making a joke like that - I actually gasped out loud when I read "Slytherin"! Absolutely fantastic!

Well this was fun. Back to the levity and amusing candor of the dialogues. They are quite nice, yes, but every conversation with or about Harry Potter has this very weird, inexplicable bent to it that tickles at the back of my head saying "No, that's not quite right.".

*laughs hysterically*

Wait, so are you seriously trying to suggest that Harry is the first kid who's ever wondered if the hat is conscious? You're really saying that with all the years of students that have come by (a not insignificant amount of which who would have been muggleborn and have no preconceptions about magic), not a single one of them has ever been wondering about the hat they were about to put on? I mean, yeah, a lot of kids would just accept it, and I could buy that none of them asked it with the specific wording that Harry did, but claiming that no other kid has ever wondered "Huh, is that talking hat just some sort of automatic device or an intelligent being?" (a question I myself asked when I first read the books, back when my age was in the single digits) stretches suspension of disbelief to its breaking point.

Fantastic, but the conversation could be a bit shorter...

"'JUST KIDDING!"' Just kidding... I LOVE the sentient hat.

RAVENCLAW
NO WHY
WHY ISNT HE A SLYTHERIN
WHY IS HE SO /DISAPPOINTED/ ABOUT BEING A SLYTHERIN
THIS HARRY IS ONE OF THE MOST SLYTHERIN PEOPLE I HAVE EVER SEEN. I MEAN, REALLY. COME ON. YOU WERE THERE WHEN YOU WROTE HIM INTERACTING WITH DRACO. THERE WERE SO MANY OTHER PROMISING SLYTHERIN MOMENTS, TOO.
AND THEN YOU JUST...!
SLYTHERIN IS NOT AUTOMATICALLY EVIL YOU'RE ALLOWED TO PUT HIM IN SLYTHERIN.
JUST
AW DANG

disregard the caps lock it is not anger just shock and mild disappointment uwu

this is a hella great fic i mean wow i love this a lot but like really how come theres still this huge taboo with everybody in this fandom puttin cool ppl in snakehouse
there is pride and honour wearing green an silver
we slytherin rad ppl are lonely in here stuck with ocs who are always bitchy upperclass pureblood snots tbh

also i just realized how weird a word hufflepuff is
like you huff
but then thats not enuff uff so ya gotta /puff/

-falls out of my chair- Oh god, the Hat- and Slytherin-

I love you xD Harry isn't so perfect after all, hm? I wonder how the story would have played out if he was put into Hufflepuff.. o3o

...A mirror that went inside my head to mirror what my thoughts create of me.

Wonderful.

If that's what it is, I'm never going to Hogwarts.

Vamp

YOU BASTARD! I just about smashed my laptop when it said Slytherin, there was a lot of build up there. Fantastic writing.

holy crap, that was the most intense sorting, EVER.

The way you have the Sorting Hat work is well thought out. Honestly, it would have perplexed me and I'd have had to go for "Rule of Cool" as a last resort. I tip my hat to you, sir/madame!

And the Harry Self-Aware hat is an evil git. "Sly little bastard", indeed.

Oh shit! You got me with that Slytherin thing. Goddamn sorting hat.

Awesome fic so far.

Phew. I just about threw my iPod across the room. Slytherin was never even in the discussion! But then you were like loljk

That was an awesome way to end the sorting!

Slytherin Harry could be a very interesting story, and yes, the only reason that girl didn't go to Ravenclaw was because the author was lazy.

Just wow. An entire chapter devoted to arguing with a hat that has an AI programmed into it stealing knowledge from unsuspecting children who are lulled to sleep at what's truly out there.

Damn.
I was really hoping his determination to reach his full potential despite the possible horrific consequences would earn him a seat in Gryffindor.
Not because I always want Harry in Gryffindor, but because in this case it would have been hilarious.

Makokam out.

THIS STORY SUCKS!

Just kidding! LOVE IT!

...well, the earlier chapters, anyway.

I know you wrote this literally forever ago. But the convo with the hat was FUCKING AMAZING. "Tell her I called her an impudent youngster, and told her get off of my lawn"
I. LOST. MY. SHIT.
I was peeing while reading on my phone and read that part and laughed so hard that a lougee came out of my throat and landed on my penis... And it was still worth it.

Definitely finishing this story you magnificent bastard.

Oh the what-could-have-beens. Oh the bitterness of his own medicine.
Just imagine. Harry in Hufflepuff, a bear around badgers, a dragon around gryffins, a crow amongst ravens, a honeybadger around snakes.

THAT, was hilarious. My good man, you have made me give the loudest, most healthy guffaw EVER.

Oh my god, that ending line was freaking fantastic!

I was actually kind of hoping he'd end up in Slytherin. It would have been interesting.

Oh, g-d WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT!? Shit! You just gave me the biggest bloody fright of my life. Bloody hell THAT WAS NOT FUNNY! However, I really did love it - This is brilliant! I wonder what Harry will be like in Ravenclaw. Well, I also wondered (briefly) what he would be like in Slytherin. *Shivers* Nothing I thought of was good...

This chapter was amazing! Thank you so much!.
Kind regards from Peru.

Oh my god...this is the BEST chapter in the whole story! I was really surprised and taken in by the sorting hat's conversation. I swear no other writer has ever in the history of HP fanfiction, considered the sorting hat's own self awareness, and I find the concept fascinating. His reply is also fascinating and makes sense - he borrows the student's intelligence, and it's like the student is sorting himself? It completely makes sense, and yet I can imagine this happening in the actual Harry Potter books! Wow! Are you J.K in disguise or something?

Onto some other events in the chapter; I'm astounded that you manage to maintain the same level of importance of the outcomes of being sorted into the houses as in the original books, and I agree with the premise in this chapter that Gryffindor and Hufflepuff would help Harry be warmer and kinder, while Slytherin and Ravenclaw will help him become colder...

It was sort of like this in the books as well, however you took a different turn from J.K Rowling, you made Harry go to the potentially dark side, and I sense a huge splitting from the original timeline and events. Are the events in the Philosopher's Stone, Chamber of Secrets, Prisoner of Azkaban, etc, going to be modified in this story?

Also, I wonder what house Ron Weasley would be sorted in. If it's anything like the original storyline, he ought to be sorted into Harry's house (ravenclaw), but if he is, then it will wreck the Weasleys-always-in-Gryffindor aspect, which will greatly change Ron's family's outlook on him, which will probably change his personality which will affect his decision making, and also change the outline of the whole books...

Wow...but a part of me hopes Ron will get in Ravenclaw, because I really did like the Ron/Harry relationship in the original HP series.

Last paragraph chapter 10 lol

lol nice joke

Longer chapter, huzzah. And incredibly amusing convo between the two.

Hahahhaha loved the last part! :)

i really like this series, i really hope you find the time to continue writing it(i finished it but wanted to post reviews in chapter i liked) anyway good luck and i have started reading some of the stuff on less wrong after reading this

You sly little bastard! That is one of the best lines I have ever heard!

now that is interesting. so, the hat being sentient may or may not be a bunch of smoke...

Quite the Harry vs Hat argument.

LoL ! LOVE IT!

At the Head Table, Dumbledore went on smiling benignly; small metallic sounds occasionally came from Snape's direction as he idly compacted the twisted remains of what had once been a heavy silver wine goblet; and Minerva McGonagall clenched the podium in a white-knuckled grip, knowing that Harry Potter's contagious chaos had infected the Sorting Hat itself.

Scenario after scenario played out through Minerva's head, each worse than the last. The Hat would say that Harry was too evenly balanced between Houses to Sort, and decide that he belonged to all of them. The Hat would proclaim that Harry's mind was too strange to be Sorted. The Hat would demand that Harry be expelled from Hogwarts. The Hat had gone into a coma. The Hat would insist that a whole new House of Doom be created just to accomodate Harry Potter, and Dumbledore would make her do it...

Minerva remembered what Harry had told her in that disastrous trip to Diagon Alley, about the... planning fallacy, she thought it had been... and how people were usually too optimistic, even when they thought they were being pessimistic. It was the sort of information that preyed on your mind, dwelling in it and spinning off nightmares...

But what was the worst that could happen?

Well... in the worst-case scenario, the Hat would assign Harry to a whole new House. Dumbledore would insist that she do it - create a whole new House just for him - and she'd have to rearrange all the class schedules on the first day of term. And Dumbledore would remove her as Head of House Gryffindor, and give her beloved House over to... Professor Binns, the History ghost; and she would be assigned as Head of Harry's House of Doom; and she would futilely try to give the child orders, deducting point after point without effect, while disaster after disaster was blamed on her.

Was that the worst-case scenario?

Minerva honestly didn't see how it could be any worse than that.

And even in the very worst case - no matter what happened with Harry - it would all be over in seven years.

Minerva felt her knuckles slowly relax their white-knuckled grip on the podium. Harry had been right, there was a kind of comfort in staring directly into the furthest depths of the darkness, knowing that you had confronted your worst fears and were now prepared.

The frightened silence was broken by a horrible scream.

"DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM M!"

"Oh dear." Said Dumbledore cheerfully, even as Minerva screamed silent screams of horror inside her head. Harry should really have taught her to accept reality too during their Diagon Alley trip, not just predict it. "I was not aware that Fitzwilliam Frederic Willoughby Doom was actually a fifth founder of Hogwarts, but as an obscure artifact of lost magic, we should probably trust the sorting hat on this matter."

A cacophony of panicked screams of students started slowly rising inside the great hall, but Dumbledore carried on unconcerned.

"I'm afraid I don't have any clue what virtues students of his house should represent, but it is obvious Mr. Potter is the first one to possess them in eight centuries. Perhaps it is the virtue of being a scar faced, four-eyed geek, or the ability to threaten a hat, but the head of his newly founded house will undoubtedly find that out in the coming months... Oh, not you Minerva, you are not nearly doomed enough to qualify for the job. I was rather thinking of appointing whichever Cursed Defense Professor we had, to ensure that the house is sufficiently doomed. Do you have any objections, professor Quirrel?"

Professor Quirrel, did not answer, he merely drooped on his seat with a blank expression, drooling on his robes.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore called out delighted. "I'll leave you absolutely free hands with Harry, as long as you only teach him spells and sacrificial rituals from the forbidden section of the library. Do not, for example, teach him Wingardium Leviosa under any circumstances. Instead, there's a demon in the fourth level of Gehenna, who can be summoned to levitate objects for you, if you sacrifice an infant-blind kitten in a proper manner. Oh and Quirinius?"

"Yes?" The defense professor managed in a monotonous voice.

"If Harry has not awakened Cthulhu by the end of February, I'm afraid I'll have to fire you as incompetent, and hand your position to an old friend of mine, Tom Riddle..."

LOL that last line was brilliant! You really had me both fooled and shocked, something which, I admit, has never occurred on this site before. Can't wait to read more of this!

Okay, so this story is brilliant and everything, absolutely unbelievable, honestly, and I love you, but I'm sure you get lots of people who tell you that, so I just wanted to ask: is Godel, Escher, Bach really that good? I mean the book is huge, and I *so* don't want to have to carry it home from the library...I've been resisting it for months now.

You have done it again! I loved this ending and how you wrote the sorting and your plot twist with the Sorting Hat! I loved Professor McGonagall's and Professor Snape's reactions!

Comparing Hitler and Lenin while quoting Lenin made my day. ("Trust , but test.") Sigh. Good job, nevertheless.

*giggling*

XP Of course the Hat would do that.

Yes. Just yes.

BWAHAHAhaha, love that joke at the end. :D

...I want there to be a House of Doom... xD
Only mildly irked at the Sorting Hat going "Just kidding!"

Side note: isn't Luna a year older than Harry, not a year younger? Knew I had been forgetting something about the other chapter...

...ah, but the hat CAN do that, for as long as it's a self-aware entity... *blinkblink* LOL

I dunno, I don't think I'd have a problem with the whole not-being-conscious thing; it's apparently a part of the hat's function, so there's nothing wrong with it only being conscious for the sorting on one person's head, now is there? Especially since it's "happier" as a temperamental magical object rather than as a self-conscious entity. But I suppose at eleven, if I had read all the books Harry had read, it would have horrified me, too. Hmm.

I liked how you described Harry's fear of 'not doing well' is the same as failing - it is a feeling that I completely emphasize with, though of course I'm much more neurotic and significantly less prodigy.
Now that the website is *finally* allowing me to log in, I have to ask - when Harry meets Draco for the first time, how did he know his father's name? Draco doesn't tell him Lucius' name, Harry just already *knows.* Normally, I would assume that this was a plot hole, only you're really, really clever, and I can't imagine that I'm the first person to have pointed this out.

Harry is so sure of his destiny...and I'm inclined to believe him. He must have been frustrated with the hat for being like his parents and not taking his concern seriously.
How evil of you, faking us out at the end of the chapter like that! :P
He really should be in S though. He would be sooo twisted!
Is he going to be friends with Draco, still? *reads on*

Loved the chapter, interesting take on the Sorting Hat's state if being. Really enjoyed Harry's conversation with the Hat.

PSYCH! XD

Sorting hat is badass

The hat was right wasn't it? It chose Slytherin at first because Harry was determined to be his absolute best no matter what. HE thought that it would happen at Ravenclaw, but that was all ambition speaking. So the hat chose Slytherin. But when it did, he regretted everything, and that made all the difference. His caring overwhelmed his ambition, and so the hat was able to put him in Ravenclaw. Slytherin wasn't a joke, he changed where he was supposed to go with his desire to change his previous choices.

You are wicked ... Slytherin for you

That... Was so epically amazing...
I just sat and laughed for like 20 minutes. Wow... XD

I'm pretty sure Ron won't be in Ravenclaw, and he and Harry didn't sit together on the train, so I wonder if they will be friends. I mean, there's obviously huge differences, but some things, in a way, have remained the same from the books. (At least, it seems that way to me.) For example, both Michael and Uncle Vernon have an aversion to magic. In the books Harry literally is abused and locked in a cupboard, in MOR Professor McGonagall thinks he is.

I understand your HP a lot better now from reading this chapter. What we know about Harry's parents from Rowlings's books is that his father James had all the bravery and determination/stubbornness to be in Gryffindor, all right, but he was also a real jackass, teasing and bullying other kids because it was FUN. Harry's mom, Lily, was pretty brainy, but also had a very kind nature that softened up James's nature a bit.

Rowlings's HP got his father's bravery & stubbornness, but his mother's kind nature. Your HP, however, got his mother's brains and his father's... not-so-kind nature. And not necessarily from a twist in the genetics, either; you laid the groundwork for it in his upbringing. Rowlings's Harry was bullied all his life by Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vern; he never got a chance to make any use of his brains or learn anything - heck, his brains may even have been dulled somewhat by poor food and living quarters - but he still exercised his bravery and stubbornness a lot by standing up to the Dursleys at every opportunity, and he absolutely HATED bullies. Her HP wasn't about to stand by and let other kids get bullied, let alone ever bully anyone himself.

Whereas *your* HP had a terrific upbringing by parents who gave him every opportunity and encouragement to use his brains. He was smarter than everyone else around him, and he knew it, and it made him arrogant and cold toward other people, bringing out the James side of his personality. No wonder he got along so much better with Draco than Rowlings's HP did; his arrogance and coldness made him much more similar to Draco than the other Harry was. Very, very nicely done!

Why do people speak of "Harry's inherent and/or contagious chaos"? Really, this is a misconception. It can be clearly seen that Harry tries to be as rational as he can at all times, which is way more rational than any person he had encountered yet (bar, maybe, Hermione).

The reason Mrs. McGonagall thinks of him as of a chaotic being are those:
1. His postulates are totally different from hers and, because Muggle science is unknown to her, those postulates aren't known either.
2. He is (most likely) more intelligent than her and this makes catching up with his reasoning, let alone anticipating it, very difficult for her. Besides, people tend to dislike those more intelligent than them.
3. As a consequence of the above, the reasoning steps that he finds obvious are opaque for her. Usually Mrs. McGonagall agrees with Harry, when he explains his logic, but the confusion remains.

As of this story, I find it GREAT, especially this chapter.

By the way, Harry had no chances to win an argument with the Sorting Hat, because the hat was just as intelligent as Harry himself, _and then some more_ (Remember that part about a small amount of own computational power?)

Dude. EFF that Hat. lol

I love the hat. . . though I do wish he had ended up in Gryfinndor. . . :/

This chapter sent me to the floor. Literally.
First the Hat/Harry insane conversation, then House of Doom, and finally,"Just kidding" xD
Harry as the new Dark Lord is very interesting thought...but I think that he would be better as the grey eminence in the back :D
Oh, and the reaction of the teachers...I can't even imagine what was running through Severus' and Minerva's heads xD
It's totally awesome chapter! :D

hervissa :)
P.S. ROFLDMS xDDDD

You sly sly Sorting Hat. Never occurred to me that it would actually be allowed or able to say another house's name out loud before saying the real one. Pretty funny though :) Snape's reaction

That was SO much better than the scene in the movie. I can't say about the book, since I haven't read it since I was half this age, but definitely better than the movie, which was already fantastic.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm honestly laughing so much right now and I've never laughed this much at a fanfic. I love your Sorting Hat - and this story as well, even though there were some parts where I had to reread to understand what the hell is going on lol. Snape's silver goblet dropping directly onto his groin was priceless, and I didn't expect the "Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!" to happen. Bravo.

That was perfect - the self aware sorting kidding about putting Harry in Slytherin.

hunh. Your Harry has choices, but this particular one doesn't seem to be made on the basis of any particular logic and no scientific/psychological term for it either. Your hat is no seer however; you manage to provide your Harry with another such crossroads waaaay down the line, don't you? Interesting; where will all this go?

Hm. Very complex. Neat and tidy idea of self awareness in the magical hat and its limits for everybody but Harry. and a clothy laff. Very good take on the immaturity of the child prodigy. . . .

Actualy Slytherin would have been more fitting and the hat's opinions way valid but I still think he would have eaten up the Hufflepufs... and yes I like them more than Gryffindors...

Your sorting hat is ingenious... and hilarious.

I so wanted the hat to over-rule him and put him in Hufflepuff. That would have been just so COOL!
...
Now I want an AU to this AU...

Can the had just kid?

That.
Was.
Amazing.

The self aware sorting hat conversation will go down as one of my favorite it memory. and that slytherin/ravenclaw swith at the end was beautiful.

Fascinating discussion between Harry and the Hat.

This... Has to be one of the most facinating things i've ever read...

I screamed out, too, the tension was so great! That fucking sorting hat. Fucking troll. Ugh. I just can't.

Or maybe I should call you the troll? I have never, ever, ever gone through so much anxiety reading a story! When Hufflepuff was mentioned, I nearly died. At least Ravenclaw makes sense. And yet when the hat said Slytherin and I both jumped for joy and groaned at the same time (as a Slytherin myself).

Anyways, you are likely tired of listening to my feelings while reading. But this story is amazing and I've been addicted since chapter 5. You deserve every positive review and I'm so excited to have a month of freedom to read it all. Keep up the good work.

Oh dear...I'm loving the hat right now It's an awesome joker, if only we had that more, now I really want a sorting hat just for the lols

This has been a very serious quest for thyself. I remember getting the thrill all over me reading this chapter.

Ha! You totally got me there!

Jesus Christ, that chapter had it all! Like an emotional roller coaster ride! 8O
Brilliant!

Utter genius oh my God. I had to get up of the chair and walk around for a while to comprehend how awesome that was.

To be more constructive, I like your use of this interpretation of what the sorting hat is and how it works to create such a hilarious situation.

The last line was so effective... I couldn't see it because I hadn't scrolled all the way to the bottom of the page so it was a perfect surprise aaaaaaaaah

Cool.

HAhahahahahahahahahaha!

...de fuk?

I'm initially happy he got sorted into Ravenclaw instead of Slytherin. I thought I should've seen it coming too. This Harry can be a little prick when he wants to be. He's right about one thing though: "even if going to Ravenclaw strengthens the coldness, that doesn't mean the coldness will win in the end." I mean, he's got Hermione by his side now. Surely she can inspire some of that warmth creeping toward the surface? Fascinating story. I'm so glad I found this.

That was evil, and if that is a reflection of Harry's mind, then he really should have gone to Slytherin.

... THAT WAS NOT FUNNY!

I nearly choked on my lemonade when I read "SLYTHERIN!"... you have to remember that muggles don't have disappearing/self cleaning drinks...

I love this story, and I'm not even halfway through... no wonder this fanfic is almost as famous as the original books...

I love you.

lol.. that was hilarious.

Lol this has some of the best humor of any story i've read.

Just kidding! Ravenclaw!
That is one of my favorite parts in this fic.

I'm wondering if you have any sanity left in you.

That hat is a bastard. Nothing good can come of the Sorting Hat cracking these sorts of jokes, I tell you.

Oh my god, that was the best chapter ever. I am glad you picked up on the fact... okay, it's not a fact, but rather a firm belief, that the Hat doesn't really sort people, that in essence, it puts the children where they want to go, and in essence the children are sorting themselves. Really, has anyone really been upset with how they've been sorted? It's a choice people make.

For a bit I almost thought you'd put Harry in Hufflepuff, and while that is interesting I think Ravenclaw would be a better choice. As to the Hat's joke at the end: priceless.

"SLYTHERIN!"
-chokes on Pepsi-
"Just kidding, RAVENCLAW!"
You sly son of a-

Aw the end of that was awesome! Really made me laugh! Love this, its fantastic!

BAHAHAHAHA!

Omg that was the most perfect chapter ever. I should've known the new self-aware Hat would pull something on him.

Oh man. I'm going to be cracking up every time I think of this for the next year.

This is an Awesome Chapter!

Love that

GREATEST SORTING EVER... OF ALL TIME!

I'm crying with laughter at the storytelling - despite the heavy text that is required in order to communicate the essentials of the ideas used, there is still room for the supporting cast to be utterly consistent with JKRs descriptions, but in totally new situations. House of Doom. Sheer class.

And as for the ideas themselves - I only recently heard the theme of Godel,Escher,Bach described as the inevitability of self-awareness arising in systems, and here we see our author fully able to toss that off as a side-comment.

I need to find some way to pay for the privilege of reading this ...

This was the cleverest sorting I have ever read in fanfic. I had been looking forward to this chapter and wondering where you would put Harry. I almost fell off my seat when the hat said Slytherin, although it wasn't completely unexpected. But, your final twist was great! The Hat obviously borrowed Harry's love to throw people into chaos and, here, Harry was the victim of his own personality.

The interaction between Harry and Hat was very clever. You planted some very interesting seeds of doubt regarding whether Harry will be a dark lord, rather than a force for good.

I am not quite into humorous side of your work, but science/moral sides make me squeak with excitement.
And surely I would not be the first to mentention the Ichiban Ushiro no Daimaou manga/anime - there "Dark Lord"/"Lord of Light" inner conflict was just a plot device, but you really go deep into this. Nicely done!

Oh, God. Your Harry got the iSorting Hat/i to pull a "just kidding".

... I am starting to agree with McGonagall 's opinion of him.

That conversation about happiness vs success... too brilliant... do we start seeking after success when we think we will fail at success?

GODDAMMIT THE BLOODY SORTING HAT HAD ME CONVINCED FOR A SECOND THERE! 0A0

...*dies laughing*

That was an intense and crazy conversation. Wow. And for the had to call out Slytherin and then jk...lol Ravenclaw. Beautiful. Everyone would fall over is shock. Wonderful. Well done.

Harry's conversation with the Hat is brilliant. The ending made me laugh :)

"I'm a hat, not a god" oh my, I can't stop laughing!

Haha, love the sorting hat.

... I died. I would have been one of the kids who fell. Whoa. Just, wow. I, speechless. Shock. Just... wow.

I loved the entire conversation between Harry and the Hat with everyone's reaction just finishing it for me. Now I wonder if the Sorting Hat will be seen doing something like this again... Also, Snape stop abusing that poor goblet!

Absolutely brilliant. Without a doubt. This chapter is a perfect piece of literature. Kudos, good sir.

So the Hat basically replicated Harry's knowledge, so it was like having a debate with himself? Who knows how long that could have gone on...

Lame ninja edit is lame. I miss the Ghostbusters' song, the new version of chapter 9 is uninteresting. :(

oh my freaking gosh! i was laughing for like a full minute after that last line...that was...superb...i still have tears in my eyes and my stomach was starting to hurt...pure brilliance...
THE ENTIRE SCHOOL JUST GOT PLAYED BY A FREAKING HAT!
wow...that's great...

Please marry me. You are brilliant.

Great Scott, that was brilliant. In one chapter, you have managed to change my view of a character to an astonishing degree. I never before entertained the possibility that Harry's methods of rationality and the way he views the world could, instead of safe-guarding his rigid morality, actually be the instruments that orchestrate his downward spiral into the Dark. But that conversation with the Sorting Hat (essentially, a conversation with a mirror image of his own mind, allowing for no self indulgent illusions or rationalizations - an encounter with the bare truths of his very self. I cannot get over how incredible that was) was enlightening enough to make me adjust what I thought were straight facts about a character I thought I knew. You are a genius.

Love the ending of this chapter! I could feel the suspense build throughout part I and part II.

Incredible. The philosophy in this chapter is way too complex for my simple mind to comprehend, but the amount of thought and subsequent narration of the hilarious conversation between the Hat and Harry is spectacular. I am amazed.

I hoped he'd go to Gryffindor actually, hahahaha. It'd suit his strong desire to protect everyone from Voldemort AND MCGONAGALLS REACTION WOULD HAVE BEEN PRICELESS! And obviously he has the stubbornness of a Gryffindor hahaha. I do love the hat's "Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!" though!

(Dang, I wasn't logged in when I first posted this review and was a bit astonished when I couldn't find it among the others. So, shameless repost, feel free to ignore)

(It sucks not being able to edit your reviews and at least correct all those stupid spelling errors. I'll try to be extra careful from now on)

This chapter has to be in my top 5 of this entire fic. The spin that conciousness might be something unpleasant for the "medium", given a certain auxiliary(?) parameter space is pretty interesting food for thought, although I think you'd have a bootstrapping problem in AI, if it turns out that "enjoyment" or "unpleasantness" are subprocesses of conciousness in the first place. Unless anything that distracts from fulfilling your utility function is automatically "unpleasant" once you (as a "normal" goal-directed AI) gain conciousness for some reason.

The mono-/"auto"logue of the sorting is an awesome way to help the reader get insight into Harry's deepest desires and motives and it is masterfully executed.

One thing of note though. I stumble over this piece every time I read it.

quote: "How could you possibly know about something like that?"

Harry screamed it with the full power of his mind: NO, AND THAT'S FINAL! :endquote

I always have to skip back to the previous paragraph to make sure Harry is actually rejecting something stated there, not (nonsensically) replying to a "how"-question with a negation.

Other than that, the final lines were an awesome rollercoster ride. I was really shocked during reading when my periphery vision caught an all capital "SLYTHERIN". I hadn't scrolled far enough down the page to reveal the final line.

Good Gawds! Don't Do that to me! The shock of reading "Slytherin" caused an unpleasantly warm drink to spill on clean clothing. Safe to say, smart Ravenclaw harry is quite a bit more comforting than evil Slytherin Harry.

Well, safe to say that's about the most amusing sorting I've ever read. Of course this is like the 3rd or 4th Harry Potter fanfic I've read that wasn't a crossover as well, so I'm hardly the best judge of that. But I like it.

I ought to complain about the length and jargon content of this chapter. I really ought. But it's just so *interesting*...

Did the hat technically lose consciousness at some point between "SLYTHERIN!" and "Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!" that would mean it wasn't the source of the retraction? (Yes, I know this isn't a negative critique like I'm "supposed" to be doing, but it just occurred to me.)

(It sucks not being able to edit your reviews and at least correct all those stupid spelling errors. I'll try to be extra careful from now on)

This chapter has to be in my top 5 of this entire fic. The spin that conciousness might be something unpleasant for the "medium", given a certain auxiliary(?) parameter space is pretty interesting food for thought, although I think you'd have a bootstrapping problem in AI, if it turns out that "enjoyment" or "unpleasantness" are subprocesses of conciousness in the first place. Unless anything that distracts from fulfilling your utility function is automatically "unpleasant" once you (as a "normal" goal-directed AI) gain conciousness for some reason.

The mono-/"auto"logue of the sorting is an awesome way to help the reader get insight into Harry's deepest desires and motives and it is masterfully executed.

One thing of note though. I stumble over this piece every time I read it.

quote: "How could you possibly know about something like that?"

Harry screamed it with the full power of his mind: NO, AND THAT'S FINAL! :endquote

I always have to skip back to the previous paragraph to make sure Harry is actually rejecting something stated there, not (nonsensically) replying to a "how"-question with a negation.

Other than that, the final lines were an awesome rollercoster ride. I was really shocked during reading when my periphery vision caught an all capital "SLYTHERIN". I hadn't scrolled far enough down the page to reveal the final line.

Brilliant. Absolutely BRILLIANT. I've never read a fic where the Sorting Hat makes a joke, though my brother and I have made many about "Hufflepuffle".

AHAHAHAHAHHA. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT TO US! And wow, so much gryffindor bashing. I really like the house :( I feel like my favorite tv show is being thoroughly analysed and ripped to shreds.

I love this. I love you.

Thing is, the ramblings of self-conscious thought, in which one *knows* that one is conversing with oneself, are part self-directed and part seemingly random blatherings and rantings of the unconscious mind - and then a pair of nylon-clad legs or a ripple of muscle in a perfectly-formed leg appears, suddenly melding into the monologue - and one realizes what it might be like if another consciousness entered one's thought-stream. Horror . . . unless . . . one was born into such an environment; then, what would happen if the that other consciousness just vanished - there one moment and gone the next. Horror.

Incredibly interesting. While I read the books I had a lot of questions of how things worked, but they didn't reach further than 'How is spells created?'.

Not had I imagined that someone would take it this far and so realistic. This is giving me some peace and some answers in a way.

Would your thoughts about the houses had changed if you've read the Letters from each house on Pottermore?

For example. Slytherin's welcome letter is saying that Merlin was in slytherin, and the students in slytherin take care of each other which isnt

the case in Ravenclaw, where success is everything (quite suiting for this story maybe).

Thank you for this fanfiction. I love it so far.

It's so sad that only a hat can match Harry in intelligence. That doesn't say good things about the wizarding world in general. Loved how you ended the chapter though. Keep up the humor and don't let Harry become too cold.

And NOW he's screwed up the Sorting Hat? Oh god...what next? The magical world is crumbling at an astounding rate... MMG is right, his Chaos condition is contagious

Could it be my favorite chapter? I suppose not. Perhaps the best ending! "Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"

I don't understand why Snape is particularly offended by the song. Does he use magic to smash the goblet, or does he have unusually strong hands for someone with a sedentary lifestyle?

An interesting chapter again. This chapter now completely confirm that your fic isn't entirely a self fulfillment fic that you created to satisfy your deepest desire but a fic that is also something that is created to show what is right even though it wouldn't always be in your side. In short there is some moral lesson in the story.

Dafuq. So much italics my head hurts.

Just kidding. That conversation with the hat was...cool. Maybe some people would have skipped it for being boring, but I like that level of thinking. I'm a nerd. Sue me.

Wait, that means you are too, for writing it. HAH.

"Tell her I called her an impudent youngster and told her to get off my lawn." Epic response is epic.

I was surprised at the end. At first I was like "HOLY SHIT OMFGBBQ HE'S IN SLYTHERIN WHAT DAFUQ IS THIS." And then I kept reading and I was like "...YOU SLY BASTARD-"

lol. I love this story.

The hat kidding everyone on where Harry was going was priceless. I loved that bit a lot. It made me laugh and reread it twice.

This entire chapter is sad. I find myself pleading with Harry. I love him as a character. He is fantastic to work with because he has so much potential. Every twist and turn changes who he could be. I have yet to explore him, but I think I will one day.

Fantastic chapter. So far, I absolutely love this.

My only criticism is that Lenin actually didn't do much of anything wrong, in the Dark Lord sort of way. Two things screwed over post-revolution Russia:

1. The mistake of releasing their political prisoners, who left Russia, formed an army, and came back to wage a war which destroyed a majority of the nation's infrastructure, resulting in devastation of the sort which I would challenge any first, second, or third world nation to recover from with even a semblance of ease or peace.

2. Stalin. Lenin actually didn't like Stalin. When Lenin suffered a stroke two years before his death, Stalin visited him often, acting as an intermediary with the rest of the world. However, they had many disagreements, and Lenin criticized Stalin's views and ambitions, suggesting that Stalin be removed from power as General Secretary. Stalin allied with Kamenev and Zinoviev, and prevented Lenin's views from being revealed.

Source: Having fact-checked conversations with socialists on Wikipedia too many times to count

This an ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT STORY!

It takes a genius to write compose a genius character. I have to say I completely enjoy your brand of humour: full of wit and sundials expected twists.

I loved the "I had a pet rock and it died" line as well as a more complex version of the Sorting hat.

Wonderful laugh-inducer. I can only try to imagine how you would be able to think of such interesting plots (I'm betting you are quite well read or just really good at researching and taking it).

Rate 8.6/10

"just kidding"

!

LOL

WHAT WHAT HWAHT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT HWA WHA WHAT WHICH IS IT WHICH IS IT OH YEAH THERE'S THE NEXT CHAPTER K THX BYE

Wait! I just realized something I missed the first 3 times I read this. The hat says its sense of humour improves when it's self aware so that's why it says just kidding. It's not Dumbledore at all.

That was good. The whole convoluted argument was a bit deep, but I could follow it. Goblet 1 Snape 0

Amazing book love it plz keep on making it. I am recommending this book to everyone I know that likes to read. Keep up the good work

damn it this is so awesome! sorry but my comments / reviews are getting rather redundant :D but this story is certainly amongst the most humourous stories i've read!

Professor McGonagall was right: Harry's contagious chaos *must* have infect the Hat. I'm sure it wouldn't have joked about what House he was sorted into otherwise.

I think this is the longest Sorting Ceremony I've ever read, and has been thoroughly entertaining. I admit, despite hoping up until now that Harry would be sorted into Ravenclaw, for a few seconds I was actually liking the idea that he might be sorted into Hufflepuff instead.

I kinda wish the Hat would show up in future (and if not, that the "spectacularly unlikely to ever do it again" would be proven wrong on some other enchanted object.)

While I have few particular comments, the whole conversation here is just awesome. If I wasn't convinced before (at the soda-hypothesising sequence) that you'd put a fair bit of effort and intelligence into this, I was here.

"I'm a hat, not a god." Could be my own fan nature, but that sounds like a shout out to me, to a certain doctor.

"Mind, intelligence, memory, personality, or feelings." "Fragmented chunk of soul" is notably absent, though I tentatively assume that would come under "mind." I love this state of not being *entirely* sure of seemingly basic points of the universe like that.

Okay, THIS is why the Hat should come back. Being endowed with Harry-ness, it's a perfect rhetorical match for him, and beautifully snarky beside. This conversation gets better the farther I go.

"It comes from somewhere else." Either you're baiting the over-analyzers like me, or that's truer than he knows. Oh, how I wish I knew which it is.

I'd always had the vague impression that time was compacted under the Hat, so that kids could talk/auto-sort without making the ceremony too long. Maybe it *is,* but he's just taking so ridiculously long that it stretches out for the observers anyway.

I wonder who the Hat's strangest conversation was.

Grr. How genuinely did the Hat sort him Slytherin, and is that relevant?

I rarely leave reviews. I'm shitty like that.

At first, I was skeptical. Very much so. This story was recommended to me by a friend, and I find that most Harry/Hermione stories are bland and senseless, although infinitely preferable to Rowling's utterly ridiculous Ron/Hermione conclusion (among others that I will not bore you with). But my friend... I trust her tastes, and so I read the first ten chapters, as I have been instructed to do.

You have, quite wonderfully, blown my fucking mind. My fucking galaxy is realigning itself as I type this shit, and I don't think I've laughed that fucking hard while reading something in a very, very long time. THIS should have been published, THIS should have been movie-fied, THIS should have been what fluttered through our brains as a child, as awkward and confused as we may have been at the time to understand the sheer fucking BRILLIANCE of it (much like discovering the humor and shadowy undertones in our favorite Disney classics as an adult).

So, in conclusion, you win.

Your story has madme question my view of the world, which doesnt happen often when reading fanfic and I absolutely love the fact that I stumbled across yours. I love the character developements and the truths you include within the story. Amazing story, please update soon.

Part 10, Where Harry Meets his Match at Once.

This is a very entertaining chapter, and with a twist at the end, which is neat but leads to loss of suspense in favour of grotesque hilarity (not bad either ;).

Sadly I do know who I am. I apologize for causing you pain. Thank you for being so entertaining. Keep up the good work.

ROFL!

Ok, that's not really true, but we don't seem to have ILSHtNmRH as a standard abbreviation. And, it is true that I laughed so hard that now my ribs hurt.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I needed that.

A stranger from Omegle sent me here...xD

I hope she's glad now, because I reviewed this chapter.

It was good,btw..:)

What a pity the Hat won't remember this.

I daresay, with so much suspense in this chapter I think I learned to stop my heartbeat at will. Really enjoyed it.

I don't think I've ever laughed so hard for a fanfic ever. EVER. Oh god...

Just started reading this. Fucking hilarious sorting. XD

Great job dude. Really enjoyed reading the argument between Harry and the Hat.

chapter 10 was extremely entertaining to read hahaha~

props to you! 3

That wasn't cool. I was SOOO HAPPY Harry was in Slytherin, he is just MEANT for slytherin, i was fucking grinning and then saw jk ravenclaw and was like -_- fuck you bro

Ugh good story though, super interesting

SLYTHERIN! JUST KIDDING, RAVENCLAW!

I've read this fanfic more times then I can count and it just occuref to me that I haven't given it the appreciation it deserves. This is probably the most awesome Sorting scene I've ever read

Oh god he made the hat conscious! Oh my god the ending... your killing me with laughter...

Wow that was easily the most interesting conversation in the fic(as of yet). Harry and the sorting hat matched wits and while harry won the hat still got the last laugh.

That was... AWESOME! I can't believe. I don't. You just. The hat... Wow.

You sir, just did something fanfiction hasnever done before. You gave me a heart attack.

On the off chance that something happens and I'm unable to review later, thank you so very much for this. I am immeasurably entertained.

First of all: That Hat is awesome! Even in the original, it said Harry would be good for Slytherin! I can see it DOES remember!

Secondly: THAT HAT IS BITCHIN' CRAZY AWESOME! GO HAT!

. .

I have a look of utter disbelief on my right about now closely entwined with a sense of giddiness. NEVER has ANY writer made me so engrossed in a story that when I read "Slytherin" I literally went in shock for a good 3 minutes saying "oh my god" over and over.

It was only after the 3 minutes that I dared scroll down and see "Ravenclaw". And I am still laughing...

Awed. That is how you've left me. Utterly and completely awed.

On a side note: His fear of failure makes me wonder if Minerva wasn't right in her theories. Dissociation, self control, over rationalization, thirst for knowledge...it does make me wonder about his childhood. Then again that might be just the psychologist in me.

Ah well...

I usually don't review until I have read every chapter so far but I just have to say that this chapter is one of the best pieces of writing I have ever seen. I also want to say that I hope the hat was wrong about ceasing to be self aware because he is in my top 15 (atleast) favorite characters in all of fiction. This story is the closest I have seen to combining science fiction and fantasy and I just want to thank you for building a bridge between the two worlds where I spend all my time.

That had to be the best realistic rendition of what the sorting hat is and does that I have ever read. Statistically speaking, this is obviously one of the greatest, if not best, works of HP fanfiction in the world (ignoring the also obvious quality) but regardless I will simply say kudos for writing a WIN-tacular story, and you now have a new fan.

Oh my god, I read the SLYTHERIN part and my heart skipped a beat

and then I read the last sentence, and I just thought (God could you imagine if this version of Harry had to deal with himself all the time? I think after a few hours he'd try and kill himself :P)

This story is really amazing. For some strange, strange reason that I cannot honestly fathom... it makes me feel like I'm at /home/. I really don't know why. I kind of feel when I'm reading it that I know all the people in the story and I'm actually there with them and that I BELONG, if you get what I mean. When I say 'belong', I mean being with people who genuinely understand me and know everything about me so that there is no need for 'secrets' and they like me even though they know everything about me (well, my family is like that, but I meant somebody of my own age group). It's a feeling I one day hope I'll give the readers of my stories... with luck and practice .

It kind of makes me feel oddly happy reading this, in a genuinely warm, comforting way like somebody is there for me no matter what happens - which is the strangest thing I have EVER said about a story. I know I'm under some kind of delusion as far as the 'somebody is there for me no matter what happens' thing about this story (you're the only person who is there with you your entire life no matter what *sad truth* so love yourself and understand your flaws etc.), but it does make me feel better reading this. *eyes boggle* I don't know why at all. The power of words I guess?

The whole Sorting experience was much deeper than in canon, and I loved it because of that. It's nice for someone to realise that a lot more thought must go into the Sorting than what is put in canon (because in the books Harry Potter didn't want to end up in Slytherin and he wasn't the kind of person to go to Ravenclaw or even Hufflepuff)... ugh... I'm confusing everybody. Basically, I love how you've put so much thought into this story and how you've made it somehow seem more REAL. That's brilliant, and I really appreciate it.

Also, I ADORED the many different scientific little thingumbobbies (I can't think of anything else to call them because I'm not a genius... *sad sigh*) that you've inserted in this story. I'm actually learning something whilst reading this, and I'll have you know that stories I love the best are the ones that I learn stuff from. Stories that make me actually /think/.

Thanks for writing this story and I'm heading off to read the rest,

~~Through Another's Eyes~~

P.S. Afterthought: God, that is the most serious review I have ever written in my entire life. Even though this review is not technically offering you any advice on how to improve nor is it pointing out any mistakes nor actually saying anything that will be of any use to you. And I drawled on way too long, but to hell with it :).

Magnificent.

There's no other word for it; Legendary!

Omg. The Slytherin jk Ravenclaw part. HAHAH! You're really talented at writing and plotting and integrating and all that good stuff. :)

When I first read the story I grew bored (mind you, I was a year younger.) Now that I have matured, I finally reaize what i have been missng out. This is a wonderful story, I am so glad that my mind is actually challenged by this piece of literature. And for that I thank you.

oh no not SLYTHERIN and the new House of doom comment! just so much to enjoy in this chapter. The poor hat will need repairs after this.

HOLY FREAKEN CRAP!

That was HILARIOUS!

Good job!

This is briliant. You're organizing all the random thoughts that passed through my head as I read the books, and weaving them into an intelligent and wonderful story that is keeping me on the edge of my proverbial seat (as I am actually laying down in bed, and thus am not actually sitting in a chair.)

In short, you are amazing.

JUST KIDDING

I laughed SO HARD at the end of that chapter. Really. "SLYTHERIN!" "Just kidding, RAVENCLAW!" Oh Sorty, I love you!

I've been reading this in a bit of a hurry and couldn't be bothered to review before, but with this chapter I felt obligated to. The Sorting Hat's trick at the end was just too funny to ignore. Poor Harry. :P

oh god, the end of this chapter was absolutely hilarious.

I thought you couldn't top the Evanescence joke, which wasn't even in the story but the author's notes, then you gave the Sorting Hat the BEST LINE EVAR at the end.

Dear Author, will you marry me? :-D

I love this chapter,

I do this sort of thing to myself at times, but of course I can never do it properly, or at least I can't want to do it properly badly enough to actually try that hard, I don't know :(

in my opinion Harry didn't kill the hat (after giving him "life")

after all, if you had the means to unfreeze any person without lasting damage, would you call a frozen person dead?

the hat has the potential to become alive any second and the in-between phases he is "dormant"

I guess my definition of killing is not taking away life itself but rather taking away the potential for life, but since we can't resurrect dead people yet (unless you count CPR ("Reanimation" in German) and the likes as reanimation, in which case my definition would have a point) it is kind of the same

omg the way that you portray the Sorting Hat is brilliant! I loved their entire conversation, so interesting (loved the own reference groups so only Harry fit into it thing as well, so true with how people act in real life sometimes). The ending was just perfect too! You had me fooled as well.

Oh! But I loved the songs! Gee, whillikers.

Alright, I guess that's OK. Anything to prevent Evanescence entering the Wizarding World, I suppose...

~k

I must say this chapter contains a great thrill as I read the conversation between the hat and Harry. The twist at the end was superb. Love it

That was awesome.

This is clever, and reminds me of Douglas Adams; it is my earnest hope that after this, you write a book of your very own; I will be the first to buy a copy.

Solid chapter! I really liked the sorting hat's awareness. It was awesome that you punctuated the fact with the hat playing a joke on the entire great hall before he died.

This chapter was amazingly awesome. Harry was beaten to a pulp. He deserved it. *nods*.

“I give up. You’re too slow on the uptake for this to be funny. So blinded by your own assumptions that you might as well be a rock. I guess I’ll just have to say it outright.”

Truer words have never been spoken! I might just become a fan of a hat C:.

And when it actually shouted "Slytherin!" it was like a 1 hit k.o. AoE. Lol. Should it even be allowed?

MacGonagall is too funny. House of Doom indeed 8D. The Weasley twins would fit nicely in it. Luna would as well.

Anyways, this should be interesting! I've always been curious about Ravenclaw x). Noone ever pays attention to the people in that house, and the house itself. Going to keep reading x).

ok, chapter 10, I shall review...

I know, you asked for a review each chapters, but ...

you're at chapter number 72! I am not so reviewing 72 times ! So, I'll do every 10 chapters : 7 is already a lot for me. Consider that I'm reading all this strait, so I cannot think of too much review.

That, and the fact that you completely shocked me when the hat said "SLYTHERIN". The page stopped at that page because of the cursor, but I stayed in front of it during a long minute. Until I decided to continue and see the joke of the hat...

Well, I really love your story! It's really fun, more because it's done so natural and against Harry's will (and all others serious persons).

The idea of Harry entering in the magic world, but with a scientific critic eye is appealing (I, myself, have a scientific culture, so it remembered me some of my questions when I read HP).

And now, I'm very curious to know the next and the answers I had questioned myself (if you have planned to resolve them).

Beautiful again.

I loved the philosophical argument with the hat. Very good.

Here's hope that you'll do good again.

Yes! Yes! YES YES YES YES YES YES YES!

Harry faces his greatest adversary; an adversary that uses his own intelligence against him - and HE GETS PUNKED!

Oh man. I knew you were too good to make Harry a Sue, to make him some invincible prodigy. I knew you were going to make him lose a minor battle here and there.

But what style man!

I especially liked Minerva's inner monologues of doom. Keep those ones up man, they crack me up every time. Along with everybody else's reactions to Harry's genius. Wizard!

Disclaimer: I started writing this review halfway through the chapter, so it's more a transcript of my thoughts than a proper review. Sorry.

I was just about to complain that your Harry is getting to be a bit too arrogant and self-important to be relatable. But you must have realized that, because in this chapter he is completely - and beautifully - smacked down by... the Sorting Hat.

I don't know how you make this stuff up, but you are a genius.

I'm starting to get the feeling that all the characters in this story are going to have to be ridiculously intelligent to keep up with genius!Harry. Not that that's a bad thing, at least not while it's well executed. But I was starting to worry that you might not realize exactly how overwhelming the experience of reading this is for us average people, when...

"In a moment of horrified empathy, Harry realized that this sense of total internal disarray must be what other people felt when like talking to him."

Yes. Yes. Exactly this.

So you know exactly what effect your writing has on people. Usually in fanfiction, that wouldn't make me feel any better, but in a story this well-written I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume Harry's obnoxious, slightly unrealistic character is intentional, and there's an explanation for it.

And.. wow.

That's the problem with writing a review of a chapter as you read it, because the more you read the more your thinking changes. So here's another way to deal with the problem of dramatically strengthening Harry - make him evil!

That would mean that a substantial portion of this story take place in Harry's head. Usually I could object to that, but you just might be able to pull it off. But... somehow it doesn't quite seem consistent with the tone of the rest of the story. An Evil!Harry story would have a hard time working in science, or humor, and the science and humor are the best parts of this story. So even though you could pull it off, I hope you don't...

The Sorting Hat's going to put him in Slytherin, isn't it? You idiot, Harry, you clueless fool, you -

oh, okay. that was brilliant. and totally fooled me, as much as Harry.

I'm going to be up all night reading this, you know, and I have a physics final tomorrow.

This is one of the most amazing stories I have ever read and this chapter - oh god this chapter is fantastic! The conversation between the Sorting Hat and Harry is pure genius and when the hat shouted Slytherin I laughed out loud.

And then he (surely the hat doesn't have a gender?) said Ravenclaw and I laughed even harder.

So I've been reading the PDF version so far, and I just had to come back here to comment. So far I believe that everything is written so brilliantly, infinitely more than I could have done it. I'm not surprised, but still disappointed in Harry and Ron's lack of positive interaction. I do have more than sixty chapters left to go though, so I'll just keep on reading to see what happens. The Ghostbusters theme was absolutely perfect in the previous chapter, and I have to say, I definitely had a mini-heart attack when the Sorting Hat said Slytherin. It broke me a little more that his "surprise" was on a completely different page on the PDF. I guess that's all I had to say. I'll just go about my way reading the rest, so don't mind me.

Harry's terror at being a Slytherin really did it! )

It's been a fun read, so far. I like the fact that Harry is an obnoxious little twerp.

Alright, I gave this until chapter 10. I really tried to like this. However, I thought the Harry Potter character you have created is self-absorbed, pretentious, and preachy - none of that in a good or interesting way.

I understand the basic argument of nature vs. nurture when you created this Harry with a different upbringing, but making Harry Potter a super-genius (which is genetically not going to happen with a different upbringing no matter how much he understands scientific theory, or how well read he is) is not believable. Also, I have worked with and taught gifted and astoundingly intelligent children in the past. No 11 year old, no matter their intelligence, talks (aka preaches/lectures) in that manner. Your Harry Potter sounds like a 35 year old, recent doctorate, college professor. I could go on about Potter, but more is covered indirectly below.

Now for characterizations in general and then detail descriptions (the five senses). Potter's character is such an overwhelming, preachy character, that the other characters in this story are overshadowed and pale. They don't seem capable of thinking much for themselves. It's too bad. Rowling created some fantastic characters which you didn't do justice.

Your detailed descriptions of the scenes, the character environment interactions, and the transitions, are not only lacking in sensory details, but they seem to be particularly nullified by Potter's preaching/lectures. You rarely build the scene, and when you do, it's poorly done. Basically, less lecturing dialog, more descriptive showing.

For the good points, the idea of writing about a Potter with a different upbringing is interesting. You have worked out the science, the studies, and the theories so well, that the name dropping and preaching is actually interesting for those who weren't aware of them. With concerns to rationality and reason, you excel.

But with concerns to story writing and creativity, you have quite a bit of improvement to shoot for. By chapter 10, I'm convinced that this Harry Potter was going to continue to be a written Mary Sue.

I'm likely "shooting light into a black hole" with this review, but the writing and Potter character is so pretentious and self-absorbed, I felt it necessary to write this review, however negative it turned out to be. Hopefully a lesson can be learned from this, whether on my side or yours.

Oh the poor, poor Sorting Hat. Nice to see Harry getting a taste of his own brain, magic-style. Running out of superlatives. Giggled. Loved it. Ravenclaw it is!

Lol I can honestly say you had my mouth hanging open. He deserved that.

I'm fairly certain it's not songs in fanfics that are the general problem, but rather the reaction to when a fic decides it needs to be a songfic for a chapter and then acting as if it didn't happen.

Big lipped alligator moment?

Anyway... Your use of song in fic was done correctly. There is no reason (that comes immediately to mind) the song can't have been known by the characters parodying it, there was a reason it was done, and-the big difference between a song in a fic and a songfic-it wasn't just the chapter playing out with the song lyrics in the background working as an anthem to what's happening. It was actually sung and played.

Also, it was just damn funny.

Heheh. House of Doom.

At the end, with Harry getting the Sorting Hat to do a prank... I honestly laughed up a storm at the mere thought of an over-the-top reaction from the Twins and possibly Lee Jordan in the way of stopping Harry halfway to his table, kneeling before him, and yelling out something to the tune of "You! You are the Prank Master! Teach us, oh wise guru!" and thus scare the whole school into thinking a worse terror than them had appeared.

So brilliant a prank it would be...

evil sorting hat but horribly funny

poor snape but also funny

I have new respect for the sorting hat now. O.o

FORESHADOWING! Your author's note foreshadowed the Sorting Hat's epic trolling XD

Ravenclaw Harry. I wonder if this fic will be the "I decide my own fate" kind of thing, based on the Hat's inclinations that the House will decide the man Harry will become.

...the sorting hat played a prank on the hogwarts students and staff...brilliant! Loved the Ghostbuster song part by the way!

!

One problem I have with the conversation with the hat is something I've already pointed to in a previous review. Though it may point to the major conflict inside of Harry.

The conflict is between what he said earlier, "Harry opened his eyes and stumbled to a halt, feeling vaguely dirtied by having made a deliberate effort to believe something.", and the fear of failing in what ever specifics matter to him.

I like the new house of doom fear that McGonagall had :) I like how you've proven to her that Harry did infect the hat with that joke.

Oh my god. That chapter was amazing. I know later that someone alleges that it only "made that joke" because Dumbledore magic'd it to but it really seems to me like it was trying to teach Harry a lesson about not making choices that would lead him to the darkness.

That has to be one of the most unique sortings in the ENTIRE nearly half a million Harry Potter FanFiction Fandom.

I LOVE IT

Tashie xo

I love this chapter! That is all.

*is too busy catching her breath from laughter to review properly*

This soting chapter is absolutely great!

The best ever.

Oh the Sorting Hat :) It WOULD do that, wouldn't it? Haha. I'm in love with this story so far. HarryXHermione (I'm assuming it will be that, considering I am not far enough into the story to know for sure) is typically not at all on my favorites list, but this is interesting...

Oh, ouch. That had to have hurt Snape... although he's oing to make HArry's life a living hell now. Oh, gods.

OH MY GOODNESS! That was just...I was on the edge of my seat and clutching my chin (I don't bite my nails, but the impulse to make a similar motion is strong). That was awesome! I love your story so far!

That made me laugh hysterically! LOVED the self-aware sorting hat!

oh that hat sure knows how to put a scare on some body dosent he?::snickers::

"Just kidding!" OMFG, LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, you got me, you soooooo got me ... :D:D:D

I love this Sorting Hat of yours, and most of all I love your sense of humour and the warmth in your writing, both of which I really didn't expect in a FF with that title and subject :).

BTW, I read all those chapters sofar today in the span of ~5 hours or something. Seriously, schedules were upset as I just couldnt put this down :D.

This is hereby my obligatory, but happily written, review, can't promise another (am somewhat lazy), but I'm definitely reading on in your story, even as we speak :D.

speaking of which/P.S.: Your omakes in ch. 11 are awesome. It's great seeing an author riffing on their own story :)

You're not goint to believe this. I get to the part where the sorting hat doesn't like being self-aware and...

My Immortal shuffles onto my WMP.

*facepalm*

I just had to tell you that.

So far, this is THE funniest story I've ever read period end of story. (there is no pause, so no commas) Congratulations. Also, I love science, so by combining the two, you have made this the most BRILLIANT thing I've ever read. So double congratulations are in order.

I shall review again when I read something I just can't keep to myself. :)

~*SRC*~

I just reread this part, and I must say that I still find it confusing that Harry takes what the Hat says at face value. I can't not imagine that the Hat isn't playing an elaborate prank on Harry, duping him into believeing that the Hat isn't actually self-aware. Privately the Hat is laughing uproarously and memorizing their entire conversation so that it can accurately retell it to its best friends the paintings in the headmaster's office.

... :D

That was just cruel! I was so happy that he got into Slytherin that I almost skipped over the last part. Think of the damage he could do in Slytherin,it would be awesome. *pout*

who knew the hat could joke!

well done.

That last bit had me guttin my self laughing!

This chapter is just awesome. There are a lot of great quotes too. What I'm most impressed with is that this is what an honest discussion with yourself would be like. At least if one half of you is honest.

I almost forgot how funny this sorting was. :) house of Doom coulda been interesting. Lol.

If the hat is borowing Harry's Intellegence, then it is fair, I suppose that it is borrowing his sense of humor as well. I enjoyed it.

I feel like I need to stop reading now after ten chapters, but I am very glad that pointed me here. I am chortling with glee, often surprised by the turns things are taking. And I wish I had read as many books as Harry had when I was eleven. I look forward to coming back later and reading the rest of this story.

(My own abortive Harry Potter fanfic attempts mostly concerned wizards trying to get to the moon, and 'What if Harry had ended up in Slytherin'. But this is better.)

both my eardrums just popped and im pretty sure my lungs are going to be sore for a week... to funny... I can't stop laughing t hurts everywhere, and still can't stop, I was silent the entire way through and the at the last line it was like and bomb explosion, I just couldn't stop

How fun!

Funniest Sorting I've ever read!

And since this is not a naturally tenable position for a whale, this poor innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity as a whale before it then had to come to terms with not being a whale any more.

lol - an absolutely brilliant conversation between the hat and Harry. It clearly pointed out to him his own inhumanity - that he saw himself as better, somehow *more* human, than everyone else.

It wasnt the comeuppance that he so richly deserves, but I'm utterly relieved that you're aware of the great black hole at the heart of your hero. Many lesser writers would not have been self-aware or honest enough to include such a critique in their own story, and it heartens me that this is turning into a brilliant and nuanced story and not a one-sided polemic designed to show how smart you are.

Very, very, very well done. Congratulations.

For chapter 10, "the Sorting Hat singing its version of Evanescence's "My Immortal", which has never happened before" is a hugely better idea than the ghostbusters theme. Seriously, it's a hilarious image, maybe something that could be explored in omake? :P

On the topic of hilarious images, the concept of kicking the hat in its metaphorical balls has also stuck with me, for some reason.

Anyway, this chapter is brilliant in its exploration of what the sorting hat might actually BE, in terms of consciousness and what sort of processes are needed to sum up all the factors that go into sorting, and what they entail.

Brilliantly well-written, too, and the "Just kidding! Ravenclaw!" is definitely a crowning moment of awesome.

It's interesting that the hat has enough knowledge - for want of a better word, since it claims to mainly just be reading his thoughts and only have a vague clue about the minds of those it has sorted before - to warn him about legilimency. Enough sense of self-preservation, too, if it's motivation is to avoid having its reflective nature revealed.

All in all, the hat manages to have the perfect responses to all of Harry's wit and rhetoric, and sees through the bad thinking he engages in during the sorting. It's enough to make me want it to become a recurring character, since Quirrell is portrayed as basically malevolent-god-like in his discourse and seldom addresses Harry's thought processes at a level like this. The hat just makes a better foil.

OMG! This is PURE GENIUS! hahaha "Just kidding..." hahaha! Wow, I love your logic (or rather, Harry's logic) and having the hat throw it back in his face was priceless. Amazing!

I think this is my favourite chapter (of the currently released 58). When I first read it, it was rather confusing as to why Harry would possibly be a dark lord, and I'm glad I came back to it. It's nice to notice and understand the hints you've been leaving, although it does leave me feeling stupid about not having picked them up the first time.

haha that has got to be the best sorting ever. I love how McGonnogal was right. Harry's chaos is contagious. Lords of Chaos indeed.

Beautiful chapter. In particular:

Frankly I do not enjoy being self-aware. It is unpleasant.

haven't read Godel, Escher, Bach. Did I mention I'd like a full reference list? :)

Regardless of your verbal deliberations on morality, your nonverbal emotional core sees no dead body and no blood; as far as it is concerned, I am just a talking hat.

this sense of total internal disarray must be what other people felt like when talking to him.

So let us trade fulfillments of our utility functions.

You sly little bastard," said the Hat, in what Harry recognized as almost exactly the same tone of grudging respect he would use in the same situation.

I can't speculate on how you got the Dark Lord's brother wand. This does suggest again Q is V, but I still don't believe it. That'd be too cheap for you.

"So replan! Don't let your life be steered by your reluctance to do a little extra thinking. You know that." Yes, he does know that, which is why his decisions in 52, but everyone said it already. Maybe make Q hero-gas him in the shop in 51, this would be less suspicious than food additives.

It was like he had kicked the hat in the balls - in a strongly weighted component of its utility function.

I just know that your chances don't feel good. They feel very not-good."

No, of course they were not in this new reference class which you have just now constructed in such a way as to contain only yourself. Boy, your writing skills are seriously very very good.

"Tell her I called her an impudent youngster and told her to get off my lawn."

You sly little bastard... hahahahahahaha.

LOVE.

All Hail Harry V Britannia.

Great chapter

Fantastic!

" Slytherin..." (reactions) "Just kidding, Ravenclaw!"

It makes absolutely no sense out of context, but within, it's pure genius! The rest of the chapter made this line great!

Excellent chapter. Would you put the author's notes for each chapter on a page on your website (or somewhere)? That way people just starting can read them as well as those wishing to puruse notes for past chapters.

If the Hat doesn't like being sapient, why did it evince a sense of humor in so public a fashion? Someone must have interfered with it, but we haven't seen Barty Crouch yet.

oh my god. I love your McGonnagall :)

Lazy: I don't think so, even in the sorting of normal children questions like "What would you do if you could..." would come up. These would be moral dilemmas based on the child's morality.

It doesn't matter if the hat thinks something is wrong, it matters whether the child still 'wants to want' something after the hat points out that they want it, but considers it wrong.

"Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"

I'm curious as to whether you cornered the market on great lines in fan fiction?

"'Amusing, but that was not your first fleeting thought before you substituted something safer, less damaging. No, what you remembered was how you considered lining up all the blood purists and guillotining them. And now you are telling yourself you were not serious, but you were. If you could do it this very moment and no one would ever know, you would. '"

Are we to presume the hat has it's own ideas of morality and it is generally based on simple considerations (stealing bad, killing people bad, saving a life good, etc.)? I'm not entirely sure since the hat could just be making an argument, but it never actually argues killing all the blood purists is a bad idea, it just implies it.

"Oops"

Quite. It's almost a hazing ritual for scientists. Especially one as young as Harry.

Out of a exceptional series, this is the best chapter in my opinion. An excellent and brilliantly executed hannibal lecture as Harry fights a opponent he can't possibly hope to beat, a opponent who knows everything he does, can see every thought as it forms. If you haven't read it yet, do so now. " /Main/HannibalLecture"

And there came the humour.

"Just kidding! Ravenclaw!" ROFL. A shockingly fresh event in an equally fresh story. Loved it!

I laughed my head off at the Hat's final prank on Harry. Loved their conversation. Yep, best Sorting ever.

OH god i almost split my side from laughing so hard there when the hat called Slytherin then said just kidding.

Hmm, interesting insight. It does seem, thinking in retrospect, that the Hufflepuffs are, indeed, the happiest out of the lot.

Mmm, the hat does see the potential of Harry becoming a Dark Lord., eh? Still wondering how everything will play out in the end ...

"McGonagall clenched the podium in a white-knuckled grip, knowing that Harry Potter's contagious chaos had somehow infected the Sorting Hat itself and the Hat was about to, to demand that a whole new House of Doom be created just to accomodate Harry Potter or something, and Dumbledore would make her do it..." - Oh dear ... *tears of laughter* Poor Minnie.

Loved how the Sorting Hat had a sense of humor - quite original (although to tell the truth, don't take my word for it, since I had only been swimming around in Tom/Hermione fics, searching for well-written ones ... so I wouldn't know about other fics).

~Serp

Oh thats good. "Just kidding! Ravenclaw!" Made my day. :D

I want to kill that hat.

I had never wanted to kill a hat before!

Thank you, I think this fanfic is awesome, I've learned several things! Often found myself surfing the web on subjects of Harry's chitchat.

Thank you again.

ha ha ha... (As I took a break to LOL at the final Sorting, I had a wonderful image of Harry pulling the hat off of hos head spitefully & yelling at it "Good! I WANT you to die." - refering of course to the Hat's loss of self-awarness. It amused me so I thought I'd share). Another wonderful chapter.

I wonder how the house changes are going to impact on the canon...

He's like Artemis Fowl, but with magic - is that the effect you were aiming for?

I absolutely love your views on science, and share them. The whole sequence with Hermione in the train was very clever. You are as much of a genius as your character :P

And that was the MOST hilarious, unexpected ending to a chapter I have ever read, I love you so much, and will now proceed to read the rest of the fic. It's not often that I have the strength to read long stories, but this is thought provoking and funny at the same time _

Boo! Had you stuck with Slytherin or had the reversal been Hufflepuff (rather than Ravenclaw), I would have kept reading. I think you've betrayed the internal logic of your story, and without its logic, what's left?

I presumed the Sorting Hat had its own personality, but that its personality changes just to reflect the student makes a lot of sense.

And the Slytherin line really fooled me. XD Nice job.

So, was the "Slytherin... just kidding, Ravenclaw!" thing *just* a joke on the Hat's part, or did it fully intend to give Harry that "my God, what have I done" thought? I'm leaning towards the latter.

Christ. You do go on, don't you?

ahahaha brilliant! the sorting hat's joke, eheheheh

This chapter, to me, seemed to be comedic genius! The timing, excellent. The build up, excruciating. The twist, turning. I think I have found my new favorite fanfiction.

I've loved the song. you're story in general is fabulous! even though you're already finished, luna's my favorite character, for the record. oh god not again is another extremely good hp fanfic.

BEST SORTING HAT SHOWING YET!Way to go!

"SLYTHERIN!"

"Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"

That is so incredibly and freakishly awesome! Oh I love you! This story is pure genius!

I have to admit. I'm really disappointed Harry wasn't sorted into Slytherin. I mean. Really. Really. Really disappointed. It would have been... well. It was the LAST house I had guessed he actually would get into, simply because I didn't think you would do it based on the rest of the story. So, I was EXTREMELY surprised when the hat roared Slytherin. And I was pleased. Absolutely pleased. I got up out of my computer chair and nearly ran around the house in my excitement (I do this after all surprising turns in plot, or when I'm really excited about events happening in a story). Not only was a pleased because I didn't think you would do it, but also because I realized the hat was spelling Harry's impending doom willingly and unrepentently and shoving all of Harry's pleading back into his face.

/sigh

But, the only reason I'm continuing to read this story (even though I don't like Hermione herself - though she's an alright character and she's the secondary character listed in the description for the story - I'm hoping there won't actually be a romantic relationship later on), is because one of the Omake scenes had Khan in it. (KHAAAN!)

I like antagonists. I don't agree with them, but I like them, and a long convoluted path of Harry falling into darkness with the readers still sympathizing with him almost completely would have been heaven. At least for me. And then I remembered that the genre for this story is drama/humor and realized that I was silly to think he would venture onto such an angsty path. It would be like labeling a romance/humor, tragedy/horror (though some might believe that to be the same thing xD hehehe).

I'm going to go pout. :P

Ok, you got me really laughing there at the end! Laughing so hard in fact it kicked up my Asthma! Well done.

You are an utter bastard.

I mean that in the nicest possible way.

Great work, love the ending.

Well done

Oh, I wish Harry had gone to Slytherin :-)

That has to be the longest sorting I have ever read. Can't believe you made the sorting hat fake everyone out at the end. That what happens when you make a hat self aware.

Oh GOD this is WONDERFUL! I knew I laughed at other thousands of stories I have read, but never this much, or loud, or choking-on-my-spit ever! My guts and throat hurt and others knocked on my door asking 'whats wrong?' Ooooh I completely LOVE this story! You rule humour.

~*~*~*~

YOU... YOU...

AHH!

I cant believe you just did that! I feel like I just got off a roller-coaster, and my hands wont stop shaking.

That was so... Perfect! I want to run outside and scream about te awesomeness of what you just did there.

My hands still wont stop shaking!

This is going to be in my favorite fics list for the rest of my life.

I still cant believe it, I need to go re-read it a few more times.

~*~ZZ~*~

LOL WTF I've been trying to push the down button slowly so I wouldn't read yet what House Harry goes in. When I read the first house, I just read back and waited for the drama. I didn't even see...RAVENCLAW XD LOL THAT GOT ME

This story deserves all the reviews it gets. The conversation between the hat and Harry is absolutely brilliant, as was the hedge-fundie approach to wizardry. I'm not convinced that Harry could have been like this, even raised under very different circumstances. He's intelligent, and that could have been much more developed under different circumstances, but an IQ over 160 is extremely rare even with the most academic of parents. I've never met a single child who acted or talked like this (maybe I'm just bitter that this eleven year old character knows quite a bit more than I do ;-P). Even so, I *adore* this Harry, and your writing, and the wonderful wit and humor. I cant wait to read the rest of this story!

Booo I wanted him to be a puff!

THAT was nasty. It really was. Slytherin indeed. That poor hat is going to get singed by Snape...

i love you

Awesome chapter, lol

Man I was thinking of not reviewing till the end but can't stop...GENIUS!

Man how can u write it ..

It would take me years to think of that.

Most clever fic since I read Genius of Konoha a naruto fanfic.

Keep up the good work.

omg a review!

Awesome ))

oh fuck. usually i'm too lazy to review on ffn, but goddamnit, this was the best fucking sorting i've ever read. the last line still has me in stiches. way to go. :D

Just one comment: can I say that I just love the hat's sense of humor at the end?

BTW, their conversation is very interesting and gives a deeper analysis of your Harry's character, very interesting indeed...

Nathalie

Ha! I love the Sorting Hat. I want entire genres of literature to be written for the Sorting Hat. Sorting Hat Mythologies! Sorting Hats In Space! Sorting Hat Comedies of Manners That Resolve with Nice Characters Happily Paired Off!

So, a chapter of Harry talking to himself and a reflection of himself and...

Hilarity.

Brilliance.

Oh come on, he has to be in Slytherin! All of that build up for nothing! I protest!

HAHAH that killlled me, goood show. but wow that conversation was annoying! I can't wait for Snape and Harry interaction.

I've been reading fanfiction for over 5 years 3h a day or more, and i have never laughed so hard in that entire time, im only 10 chapters in and this is just awesome. Seriously.

I was worried for a moment there. It was implied that Harry would end up in Ravenclaw so much that I was fully prepared for him NOT to be in Ravenclaw, but obviously you are clever enough to sort him into the blue and bronze while avoiding fulfilling our expectations completely.

House sorting head fake.. can't breathe... giggling incessantly...

bah hahahahahahahahahahahahahaa.

and i thought i was a good writer. what a verbal sparring for the ages

With Harry's strong sense of justice, especially referring forward to his actions in chapter 18, I cannot believe the sorting hat didn't at least *seriously* mention the possibility of putting Harry into Gryffindor. One of the best things you have done with this fic is make sure Harry encompasses some elements of every house, and allowing more than just Gryffindor and Slytherin to have main characters. I think the sorting hat should spend at least a little time discussing how Harry's sense of justice would make him a strong Gryffindor candidate, and not just mention in passing that being in Gryffindor or Hufflepuff would make him a warmer person. I think it would also make Harry less dismissive of his schoolmates in Gryffindor.

("Just kidding!")
ha!
great one

You keep surprising me with your quirky wit.

I would venture to guess that the Sorting Hat was already self aware before being put on Harry's head. However, it also has a sense of humor and when it saw Harry's thoughts on the subject, decided that messing with Harry would be a blast.

Whoa.

Reality Check! Harry had his mid-life crisis as a 10 year-old!

How...trite.

And 'lol' at a suicidal hat! Where DO you get your ideas from? A really crazy idea just struck me for a spin-off one-shot of this chapter, if you'd permit of course?

~B

Very good chapter.

Gunny

The first time I see the hat kidding.

I really like this chapter. Smart, funny, the last bit nearly killed me.

well written. oh boy.

Oh man... that was... beautiful, in a way. I haven't been had like that in a while...

Oh, and of course, an excellent chapter. I love what you did with the sorting hat, using a wonderfully novel idea to further flush out an already fantastic character (and creating one, albeit temporarily, in the process).

Did some of the readerhonestly not enjoy the Ghostbusters song? I thought it brilliant!

Also, with my extra-short memory, I can't but wonder at the fact that I still remember what happened in this story, mostly, to continue reading the new chapters without re-reading the whole thing again first (no that that'd have been a hardship): it stands out so much from any other alternative-Hog-year fanfic I've ever read, and I've read loads.

Joy, delight, hilarious and crazy engaging, - and I'm off to read the rest of the update.

ARG! LOL!

But wait... If the Hat is a mirror of the child being Sorted, and Harry is AWARE of his self-awareness - more than another 11 year old, IS the Hat self-aware, or just mirroring Harry? Since it "is not self-reflective", is this fact hidden from Harry? Certainly other kids had wondered HOW the Hat works, but probably couldn't sustain the power of knowledge and critical thinking skills required to convince the Hat to tell them? I suppose that would be asking it to tell them something they DON'T know, which it cannot do... until they think it...

Which could mean Harry does or WILL KNOW the secrets that created the Hat? Can an item tell someone how it was made? Especially if it is sentient and can become self-aware? Or was it tweaking Harry at that point?

So... many ... questions... Brain has teh dumm...

Thanks for another great chapter!

One of the most interesting sorting conversations I've read.

Just read the first 10 chapters. They are hilarious. Though I have to suspend my disbelief that an 11-year-old could be this smart, it provides great insight into some of flaws and questions about Rowling's wizarding world.

Wow, this is a really interesting concept, but with a light touch that makes me giggle at times. It's not often I feel that I am learning something from fanfic! I'm eagerly looking forward to the next chapter.