Reviews for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
PIE chapter 11 . 8/4
hahahahahahahahahahahaha best chapter
CharlesW103181 chapter 11 . 7/31
I loved the Achoo, exploding hat, and Headmaster ones.
cowchoas chapter 11 . 6/30
i kind of wnat to now see a fic where the sorting hat sort harry as the new headmaster and demotes dumbledore
Vincent - Miao Jin chapter 11 . 6/24
This was great
mkDaniel chapter 11 . 3/30
I misred omake as cmake. Internal sceaming ensured.
MulticoloredFlame chapter 11 . 3/13
Love "what if's" chapters.
Sheankelor chapter 11 . 1/7
Literally. Crying with laughter.
April Mae chapter 11 . 1/6
Amazing omakes and hat such witty conversation.
Guest chapter 11 . 12/11/2021
Another garbage chapter
Jani Tomb chapter 11 . 12/8/2021
Idk why isn't letting me log in but anyways I absolutely lost it at Khan

Also your fic is equal parts hilarious and educational and genuinely cannot wait to see what happens
MentalSlavery17 chapter 11 . 11/14/2021
I stan house atreides
MissingMaeo chapter 11 . 10/22/2021
So that's why it felt bit unnatural when I read the previous chapter...
ewan72 chapter 11 . 10/22/2021
Why wasn't the song in the original... it would've been perfect. how the sh**y the readers were... but now I just let myself take it as an alternative blooper like if the actors improvised while on set and the director just let the camera roll. hahaha
Keniskarolff chapter 11 . 9/28/2021
Is-is ¿¡como se dice demasiado en ingles?! Horror! Yes can said (or is may?) is , this ver y funny (fun?)
Oleonetta chapter 11 . 8/5/2021
Oh My Salazar and Helga! Another chapter that had me cracking up with laughter - i am so lost now though? What is real? Is nothing real? Is it all a lie?
Each scenario was funnier than the last. XD
DarkBan chapter 11 . 6/28/2021
Okay, best omakes EVEr.
Love you, author. xDDDDD
SparrowTheThird chapter 11 . 6/17/2021
This is without a doubt one of the funniest chapters I've ever read on this site
SparrowTheThird chapter 11 . 6/17/2021
"Then who will be Head of Slytherin?"


*Sounds of me dying from laughter intensify*
Trixuny chapter 11 . 5/15/2021
This chapter made me lose my mind it is hilarious
Eliella45 chapter 11 . 5/3/2021
Wow. That was hilarious! And the LAST ONE! ROFL
Guest chapter 11 . 4/11/2021
Absolutely ridiculous
Luthien'sLight chapter 11 . 3/25/2021
Hagrid and Slytherin House is my OTP
Luna L chapter 11 . 3/7/2021
AstoriaPheonix chapter 11 . 2/25/2021


Me: wat the actual fuk lmao
Guest chapter 11 . 2/21/2021
Im so confused right now is this part of the story?
bibliopuff chapter 11 . 2/16/2021
I'm so confused I want to cry while laughing
aGnamZer0 chapter 11 . 1/29/2021
You know, I didn't comment any chapter because I would only be able to tell how much I laughed while reading your story, but now I just can't keep it form myself. I never laughed so much and hysterically while reading a fanfiction. Honestly, it's kind of relieving. Thanks for your work, I love it!
The Unplanner chapter 11 . 1/7/2021
I shouldn't be laughing so hard at some of these, but I am and I don't regret it.

Although I am very glad you decided not to stick with the Ghostbusters song parody.
NightTriumphant17 chapter 11 . 12/25/2020
Awesome. I was laughing throughout the entire chapter.
Guest chapter 11 . 12/22/2020
XD! XD!LOL! That. That. *giggle* That was a trip and a half! *ROTFL* Oh, my word! Hahah!
This made my day!
snamioneBDSMcuriosity chapter 11 . 11/25/2020
This chapter has just confused the hell out of me.
Guest chapter 11 . 11/19/2020
that was beautiful
TheUnpreparedPioneer chapter 11 . 10/25/2020
aaapplexxx237 chapter 11 . 10/21/2020
This is bloody hilarious! I would save my review for when I finish the book but I'm 11 chapters in and your writing has opened up multiple dillemas in my brain and has made me laugh so much! Your work is amazing, truly.
Darla Wolf chapter 11 . 9/3/2020
ROFLAO love the ideas. Thanks for the laughs :)
Natman717 chapter 11 . 8/30/2020
Devil-May-Kare chapter 11 . 8/12/2020
I absolutely love the idea of Harry doing a privilege escalation attack to get root on the hat.
deathcombo99 chapter 11 . 8/6/2020
what the hell just happened
NightFyl chapter 11 . 7/30/2020
I couldn’t physically read that
LiB chapter 11 . 6/15/2020
I'm legit choking on laughter. i think im going insane . . . .
Keep on Writing
tahminax chapter 11 . 6/2/2020
Give me a monent!
Harry freaking Potter is scarier than that nose-less Lord Voldemort.
* sneezes in parseltongue *
Sw0rdS0ng chapter 11 . 5/24/2020
I don't know why they complained. The song was brilliant
DeadFish37 chapter 11 . 5/20/2020
Honestly I prefer your ghostbusters chant to the idea you went with
117 chapter 11 . 5/13/2020
you are the most hilarious writer i have ever happened across, holy shit.
Kylau Ren chapter 11 . 5/5/2020
Those. Are. BRILLIANT!
(My favorite will always be house Achoo though)
Guest chapter 11 . 4/23/2020
Holy shit that is a nice beginning for an omake, you could do an intere fanfic only with it
Wow chapter 11 . 4/23/2020
Just... WOW
Guest chapter 11 . 4/18/2020
Bean89 chapter 11 . 4/17/2020
I... love this.
Also have you ever read a book that explains some complicated scientific information and it makes you feel like a genius so you want to leave a very intelligent thoughtful review but then you remember you’re actually just an average 13-in-two-days-year-old and you’re really not remarkable in any way, and certainly not in the way of knowledge and you’re pretty sure the review you do plan to leave will make very little sense except to yourself and why bother to review in the first place?
And then you realize that even by visualizing leaving this review you are putting yourself on a podium in your mind because in reality the review you leave will be disguised as an intelligent review when in fact it’s just a few run on sentences that don’t make sense even when you yourself read back over them but you won’t change them because you know you’ll never be able to recreate this sheer level of insanity and mind-blown-ness.
And look, now you’re just making up words to make yourself feel smarter.
I should’ve ended this after the first three words.
PersephoneQOTU chapter 11 . 4/8/2020
Aortica chapter 11 . 3/26/2020
OH MY GOD! I was trying to get to sleep after reading this, but of course my mind was still going crazy trying to dissect your book. I was thinking about what house I'd be in (Ravenclaw or Slytherin, ever a war) when it hit me. See I knew you'd be dropping hits because you said, but I literally wacked myself in the head when I realised; Ron says, Mr Gold - Gryffindor, Draco says, Mr Silver - Slytherin, Harry says Mr Bronze - Ravenclaw. Accurately predicting his house. Damn. That is truly well done. Though I'm not sure weather missing that means I'm not a Ravenclaw, for being stupid enough to not see it until now, or that I'm not Slytherin, for missing that not actually that hidden now that I think about it hint. Arghhh. I believe I am doing pretty okay, saying as I've never been that good at this stuff, though I'd LOVE to be. I predicted Hermione's fancy memory a few paragraphs before the reveal. And I've been piecing together new information with old hints. This is literally a logic puzzle and a book in one. That's amazing. I still don't understand the little note things at the top though. Are they quotes randomly chosen from within the chapter? For some reason I doubt it. Anyways, it almost 4 am and I really need to sleep. But overall, this is a beautifully crafted masterpiece.
Blackbob chapter 11 . 2/11/2020
If I were the sorting hat, I would have gone with the last one
Someone chapter 11 . 1/31/2020
All of these are amazing! My favorites have to be the achoo and the house elf ones! But th oficial chapter is PERFECT! 3 I know this is an old fic, but it's still great!
Blackbob chapter 11 . 1/18/2020
Is the last one the final answer of the Sorting Hat or is Harry in Ravenclaw, like it was said in previous chapter?
Alyce and Indi chapter 11 . 12/26/2019
Oh gods.
Guest chapter 11 . 12/19/2019
LOL even your omakes are hilarious
aries12345251 chapter 11 . 12/14/2019
not my cup of tea and too many pointless arguments
zachdabossss chapter 11 . 12/11/2019
I didn’t have much hope at first (given that I was into the story) but I’m DYING of laughter right now
Guest chapter 11 . 11/4/2019
Dude chapter 11 . 10/7/2019
The troll chapter, chapter 11 that is rather belongs at the end of the story.
Guest chapter 11 . 9/24/2019
Useless and confusing. Not funny at all
OneDocToHealThemAll chapter 11 . 8/21/2019
Totally confused right now.
Majerus chapter 11 . 7/3/2019
Bwahahahahahahahaha *gasps*
-rinse and repeat, aud naseum-
Berrybanana05 chapter 11 . 5/13/2019
I’m laughing so hard that I’m crying-
All of these are hilarious

“Scenario after scenario played out through Minerva's head, each worse than the last. The Hat would say that Harry was too evenly balanced between Houses to Sort, and decide that he belonged to all of them. The Hat would proclaim that Harry's mind was too strange to be Sorted. The Hat would demand that Harry be expelled from Hogwarts. The Hat had gone into a coma. The Hat would insist that a whole new House of Doom be created just to accomodate Harry Potter, and Dumbledore would make her do it...“
Merc chapter 11 . 4/20/2019
Really? I thought omake was a salmon skin roll... Or a prana-bindu technique. Where fear has gone, there will be nothing. Only I will remain. The sorting is done and, as expected, hopes change nothing. Being as futile as fear. Why are you so sure the sorting hat was not lying about losing his/its self-awareness? What if he/it goes HAT 9000 and takes over the world while humans/wizards fight each other?
Wicked.A chapter 11 . 3/23/2019
The parts where the hat exploded after screaming ,with draco,Naruto and him beeing the headmaster were the best (in my opinion) and am very intersted in reading a harry x preg fem rapist draco...
Wildheart21 chapter 11 . 2/15/2019
Okay that was crazy this story is confusing the heck outta me but it so funny i can't stop LOL
thebestofall chapter 11 . 12/18/2018
God damn. The Omakes are awesome!
Millie072 chapter 11 . 12/11/2018
Omake or not, this chapter was not more than a waste of time.
BorderLand chapter 11 . 10/30/2018
If only the hat made him Headmaster, I would probably die of laughter.
Srita Tragalibros chapter 11 . 10/19/2018
I've got screenshots of all these non-canon scenes, because they're THE BEST SCENES I'VE READ IN MY LIFE. I'm crying, I can no longer laugh, this is too much.
AnimeVampire chapter 11 . 10/14/2018
Blyss chapter 11 . 10/13/2018
can't breath. crying. send help.
Vanwilder chapter 11 . 10/8/2018
I liked the Fred one best.
Anounamous chapter 11 . 9/28/2018
This is a fanfic of a fanfic. FANFIC-CEPTION!
Ravyn Moon 1313 chapter 11 . 9/18/2018
oh my ... I'm out of breathe ... had my mom yelling at me to breathe cause I was laughing so hard ... oh my Godric just epic just so so epic hehe
Mikemadrox chapter 11 . 8/22/2018
I'm just finally reading this. and the outtakes are soooooo funny.
Guest chapter 11 . 7/30/2018
The Naruto one as well as the last one are downright HILARIOUS!
Dragonflydotcom chapter 11 . 7/15/2018
OH goodness me... this last OMAKE is the best.. I just had an explosion of BUNNIES...
suziq968 chapter 11 . 7/9/2018
Lol every time, ROFL even. That Ghostbusters thing just kills me. Thank you.
Winterislate chapter 11 . 6/17/2018
And I'm dead, I laughed myself to death.
Guest chapter 11 . 6/16/2018
You just made my day right there with this chapter. Thank you
HDan chapter 11 . 6/3/2018
"Headmaster!" called the Sorting Hat.

At the Head Table, Dumbledore rose, his face puzzled. "Yes?" he addressed the Hat. "What is it?"

"I wasn't talking to you," said the Hat. "I was Sorting Harry Potter into the place in Hogwarts where he most belongs, namely the Headmaster's office -"

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL :D ahahahahahha this would be epic! :D
Guest chapter 11 . 5/15/2018
Lmao. Absolutely hilarious.
HowOddSheMustBeToBeMad chapter 11 . 4/9/2018
haah oh god
Ty chapter 11 . 3/14/2018
"AND Naruto"



Oh my sweet jesus, this is the epitome of literature, I can't breathe, this is the best that fan fiction has to offer, I pissed myself laughing, please give me back control of my lungs
Unicornglittercats69 chapter 11 . 3/12/2018
this is fucking brilliant. the bloopers made my fucking life. read this fic it's so worth it.
AlenDarkStar chapter 11 . 3/7/2018
The final part of the chaptet is the worst-case scenario, Harry/headmaster change quidditch and eliminate snitch.
I like this omakes, are funny.
IzzyLinc chapter 11 . 2/24/2018
haha wut is this? im dying
GreenMasks chapter 11 . 2/6/2018
What the fuck did I just read?! XDDDDDDDDDDDDD
beigedecore chapter 11 . 12/30/2017
I laughed so hard while reading this! :D
Emporer Bloodfire chapter 11 . 12/20/2017
I have to say this chapter of omake was the best of ever read.

I have literal tears in my eyes and pains in my chest from laughing so hard.
Guest chapter 11 . 12/7/2017
Not sure if I already reviewed this but you said that Lee Jordan could be muggle born because of his name but all the Weasely kids have muggle names as well
Mr Foreman chapter 11 . 12/7/2017
Best Chapter ever and the Draco is a girl was my favorite HAHAHA
IamtheK chapter 11 . 11/28/2017
Awww, I can't decide which one's the best. Love the ideas from everyone. I really like that song, thank you for sharing it
Fiction is the Truth chapter 11 . 11/13/2017
The last one was GOLD.
Grademaster chapter 11 . 11/8/2017
Oh God please tell me there are more omakes
UBlessedCreature chapter 11 . 10/23/2017
AND GOD- THE ONE WHERE IT CLAIMS MALFOY IS AN OLDER CROSSDRESSING GIRL THAT RAPED HIM IS AT ONCE HORRIFYING AND FUNNY (as long as it did let him know it was a lie- otherwise just horrifying)
dbpeel chapter 11 . 10/7/2017
This is beutiful
laenamoradadeROGUE chapter 11 . 9/7/2017
OMG I laughed so hard. I simply had to read that with the ghostbuster intrumental version on the background. This was tooo funny. And soorry, I am not going to review every chapter but this was epic. Ghostbusters. Plus all the scenarios of how the Hat reacts, i especially liked it exploding, how will the rest of the first years be sorted? There's still Weasley, Zabini, Thomas, Smith, all those unsorted? Let them join House Elf!
Coolspygirl chapter 11 . 8/29/2017
Omg sass at the end! But should have had a warning that this chapter was hazardous to my health. I swear I was laughing so hard my brother was starting to get worried cause I was crying like someone just died while not breathing. Gosh warning, I can never look at Draco the same way again...I shouldn't have said that, that brought me into another laughing fit. Favorite chapter here.
Derpidot chapter 11 . 8/27/2017
im wheezing in my pillow ahhhhh
Ballerina-Geek chapter 11 . 7/25/2017

Your are a precious gem from above! I love your sense of humor and you have me rolling on the ground all throughout that chapter! I love you so much. Thank you!
Kimmytrainer chapter 11 . 7/23/2017
Cry0maniac chapter 11 . 7/23/2017
I died when the hat shouted "KHAAAAN"
animemangaobsessed chapter 11 . 7/12/2017
i cracked up this whole chapter but that last one was the icing
Guest chapter 11 . 6/19/2017
L0S3R chapter 11 . 5/12/2017
Best chapter ever! This had me laughing!
mlpoknbji chapter 11 . 5/10/2017
This chapter is killing me!I can't breath.
Guest chapter 11 . 4/22/2017
You're insane. In a good way. Ish. But, best thing I've read today. Been laughing my head off some the beginning.
ack1308 chapter 11 . 4/6/2017
Giggling uncontrollably again. I blame you.
WildNoa13474 chapter 11 . 3/15/2017
Hahaha, this is absolutely amazing/genius/hilarious. Don't worry, hat, he's also the reincarnation of Gabriel, Merlin, Regulus Black, and a bunch of other characters.
Amused chapter 11 . 3/14/2017
You have my utmost respect for taking shots at the absurd number of rehashed reincarnation-fics that the Naruto and HP fandom generate when crossed over with literally anything.
SnuggleKitten69 chapter 11 . 3/10/2017
Headmaster! LOL

I don't know if it is my pain medications or the pain which is causing me to be so giggly, but the make file was hysterical.
aribabybloom chapter 11 . 3/9/2017
oh dear, this chapter was absolutely hilarious!
WhiteWhisperingWind chapter 11 . 3/3/2017
Help! XD i can't stop laughing!
you are a truly good writer, and i love the chaos! :D
LadyPhoenixKnight chapter 11 . 2/27/2017
i absolutely want to see you write this kind of harry personality as headmaster. make it an epic and change everything according to scientific logic not wizard logic. it could be a cool way for him to take over the world.
Morfanerina chapter 11 . 2/2/2017
I can't stop laughing, I cAN'T BREATHE
yuritsudalove chapter 11 . 1/1/2017
Estos omakes fueron geniales. Pobre Minerva tendrá pesadillas siempre.
SilentAttendance chapter 11 . 12/18/2016
Silverfyre16 chapter 11 . 12/16/2016
All the different outcomes are so FUNNY! My favorites are the Naruto and ACHOO ones!
Meerhawk chapter 11 . 12/10/2016
These are too freaking perfect to have not been excluded. Thank you.
PatchworkChimera chapter 11 . 12/5/2016
dying from laughter from this chapter
Jatok chapter 11 . 11/13/2016
Ohhh fuck me, this was too damn funny. I liked the hufflepuff, slytherin, hufflepuff one the best though haha
HecateMist chapter 11 . 11/5/2016
Dammit, I haven't watched Naruto yet... It's ridculously long though, so I highly doibt a consistantly good plot would suffuse it.
Not.Lex.Luthor chapter 11 . 10/25/2016
i have three favourite answers out of that and they are:
in that order
i think i would have accepted the ghostbusters theme as whaat actually happened because that was just fantastic
River king chapter 11 . 10/4/2016
I'm crying!
Guest chapter 11 . 9/28/2016
My first time reading and I cannot stop laughing. I am quite sure that my roommates are under the impression that I am crazy.
Rambling Drabble chapter 11 . 9/20/2016
1. Damn, Fred Weasley. That's so brilliant. And changemyvoiceo: best spell name ever.
2. Yup, McGonagall ain't no pessimist, that's for sure. She's still one of the most awesome adults in this fic, at least for a while, but that combo just makes here character that much better.
blood-doll-aishiteru chapter 11 . 9/15/2016
God, the last one's the best, only thing missing are McGonagall's terrified screams at the end.
maana999 chapter 11 . 9/12/2016
Most of these are just GENIUS.
I liked the ghostbuster one the most though. :P
(Could def. see the twins and Lee doing that)
SilentSnowLeopardNinja chapter 11 . 9/4/2016
Being sorted as headmaster is my favorite one.
Denz-El chapter 11 . 9/4/2016
Hmmm... I like the "Ghostbusters" version better. :)

GOD Bless, keep up the Good Work, and Keep Moving Forward! :D Amen! :D
JD73hsnHSBDF chapter 11 . 9/2/2016
I'm laughing so hard and utterly amazed. This chapter blew my mind and I love it. The scenarios McGonagall thought out ... I love it. (The shampoo allergic one is epic. EPIC.)
Love this hilarious and wonderful chapter.
ArtemisKirara7 chapter 11 . 8/30/2016
died laughing 8246874 times
Lupinefire chapter 11 . 8/28/2016
Littwink chapter 11 . 8/27/2016
I died in the middle of this chapter, then revived myself due to my insatiable curiosity just to finish it.
AstoriaGrace chapter 11 . 7/28/2016
Oh my gosh. I think I almost snuffed it when I read that Draco Malfoy is a 13 year old rapist girl. I love you, Sorting hat. And Harry saying that they never had sex...
Also, the Ghost Busters moment made me really crack up. I just saw the new film remake yesterday, so the song in fresh in my head.
The-Mrning-Star chapter 11 . 7/25/2016
The crack soooo much crack. !
Guest chapter 11 . 7/20/2016
I didn't understand a thing in that chapter. Can someone please explain it to me
Guest chapter 11 . 6/18/2016
Wtf did I just read
Happy chapter 11 . 5/22/2016
Guest chapter 11 . 5/21/2016
YOU ARE A VERY BAD PERSON! Once again you made me laugh SO hard - this time at the sorting - , once again I had a physical response! This time an asthma attack. I could well die before I reach ch 122 at this rate .. Ms Tinkerbell
TheLittleRoguex chapter 11 . 5/14/2016
Violet Hiwatari chapter 11 . 5/9/2016
Oh. My. Gods.
I just died laughing! Scientifically impossible, then who'd be typing this? However, here's my secret, (professor. I'm ALWAYS angry.)
I Lied. (You don't say?!)
Never mind me, a surprise school holiday does this to me.

Seriously, incredible chapter. And story, too, till now. Harry( ) is what I think Calvin would be like when he grows up, perhaps.
You just got a new follower to your story :)
gi-freakazoid chapter 11 . 5/2/2016
These scenarios belong in a world of their own!
ReadingFreak1098 chapter 11 . 4/4/2016
This made me laugh too hard!
Random guy chapter 11 . 3/29/2016
This is amazing. I fucking love this. I aspire to be half the author you are.
Beast Rabban chapter 11 . 3/22/2016
I feel he would make a good Harkonen
Guest chapter 11 . 3/16/2016
would've loved it if the sorting hat chanted dumbledore's famous word, “Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!”
quiglmm chapter 11 . 2/28/2016
I love this chapter so much...
Guest chapter 11 . 2/16/2016
I cried with laughter. Fuck that's hilarious.
bagofpopcorn chapter 11 . 2/1/2016
Cracked me up reading. People're looking at me weirdly.
Guest chapter 11 . 1/9/2016
London Knight
Bloody hysterically funny ! As someone with an I.Q. of about 170 & an eidetic memory , I can really see this Harry's point of view .
NicoCheesediPizzaAngelo chapter 11 . 1/1/2016
Oh gods. I think mum thinks I'm sick. I've been cackling for over five minutes. The Omake files 3 are everything that is good in the world (except for this fic, of course) and I just wanted to thank you so much for including them

- Pizza
LiteratureGirl12 chapter 11 . 12/26/2015
Only a Stranger chapter 11 . 12/23/2015
This chapter was some fine ass madness, Wrong. And trust me, I know fine ass madness.
XxTealJadexX chapter 11 . 12/20/2015
Aya Wanderlust chapter 11 . 12/18/2015
I love these omakes especially. I can't help but laughing so hard! I knew you wouldn't write 'okane' without actually reading a manga or two. These omakes are brilliant and witty!

- Wanderlust no tsubasa
Joker Army chapter 11 . 12/14/2015
Funniest omake ever and I really hope this story is still on going
NGVO chapter 11 . 12/10/2015
I just- I can't- Oh Mah Gawd!
I was choking with laughter!
The DracoxHarry- you killed me there XDD
WatchingTheWatchman chapter 11 . 12/6/2015
The original version of chapter 9 is lovely, it's a pity people don't like songs in fanfics.
Xidaer chapter 11 . 12/4/2015
Oh god. I laughed so much. You're marvelous! Thank you for writing!
thatonecorellian chapter 11 . 11/29/2015
I dont think i have ever laughed so hard.
Damn. I love this fic.
Thank you.
The Anguished One chapter 11 . 11/25/2015
I actually rather like the original version of chapter nine, the song was quite nice and would suit Fred and George. A lot the omakes are really funny, but for some reason the one where Fred "saves" Harry by making it seem like he was assigned to Gryffindor is kind of heartwarming. Harry seems to get along well enough with the Weasley twins in this version, so Fred trying to help him is quite nice.
Citrus Sinensis chapter 11 . 11/23/2015
Hello? Hello-o?
Oh, there you are! I have something to say to you, it concerns this batch of omake. Here it is:

I scared my mum laughing at this at an annoyingly late hour of the night, while my sisters were asleep.
So I was forced to make a strategic retreat to my bedroom,where I collapsed laughing into my pillow and stayed like that with tears pouring down my face for about five minutes. THAT'S how good that was.

Did I mention that this fic is the best?
No? Ah,well. Must be over-exposure to hilariousness messing with me again.
Best fic EVAAAAH!

*slinks off to re-read the chapter and repeat the above and aforementioned effects of reading it before*
Crack-jouchan chapter 11 . 11/8/2015
Worst case scenario: HE'S HER BOSS. Ohhh the chaos that would come from that xD hahahahaha!

Omake 1 is hilarious as well. Harry is all calm like while Dumbledore is probably hyperventilating across the table from him xD I love this Harry!
Solangeluna chapter 11 . 11/4/2015
PugTheMagician chapter 11 . 10/16/2015
i can see why people didn't like the ghost buster version, if only because it felt jarring and didn't mesh well with the rest of the chapter. i think my favorite omakes were the 'harry, you ARE the father' one and the last one
ShadowLDrago chapter 11 . 10/14/2015
This hat is the greatest character in the fic.
Gleas chapter 11 . 10/13/2015
I love the last one XD
httpkirby chapter 11 . 10/12/2015
This is madness!
GoshIFeelOld chapter 11 . 10/8/2015
Five years on, I had a sudden flashback to reading this chapter for the first time, and had to reread it and its even funnier than I remember!
Good chapter 11 . 9/30/2015
So good.
Ma13 chapter 11 . 9/18/2015
I really like the Ghostbusters version
P. P. P chapter 11 . 9/12/2015
After the drama and tension and unnameable aspect of the last chapter, this comedic chapter was a much needed break! And I will view the thing with Fred and George making the Hat say Gryffindor as canon.
Zyxis chapter 11 . 8/10/2015
I love both Omakes AND music in fanfics. I hope you write more, because I'm sure they'll be at Least as good. XD
guest chapter 11 . 8/9/2015
Azutomiki chapter 11 . 8/3/2015
f2f rd f2f chapter 11 . 8/1/2015
Love the song! :)
Guest chapter 11 . 7/27/2015
Okay... what?
olqueen108 chapter 11 . 7/23/2015
Hagrid as the Head of Slytherin would be amazing!
Guest chapter 11 . 7/17/2015
I'm laughing OUT LOUD, at times hysterically. Oh, goodness. This is gold.
8734287934379342879erw87952587 chapter 11 . 7/12/2015
im laughing im dying i cant i cna AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

- Manny (You can find me on tumblr at asexualtomriddle.)
MelodyPond123 chapter 11 . 6/20/2015
These are awesome! The first one it feels like somebody spliced Sherlock into Harry's brain. Dumbledore must be floored. The ghost busters bit was good. I almost screamed when it said Ravenclaw, and the 'House Achoo' one was positively hysterical. Poor Minerva. lol
Dark Purple Insanity chapter 11 . 6/19/2015
Oh my God these are hilarious! chapter 11 . 6/14/2015
OMG You kill me. That is enough words.


Amazing as ever! ;) The humor is refreshing, and the air in my lungs not enough to support this much laughter

Poor poor McGonagall. I mean, Minnie :D
Guest chapter 11 . 6/7/2015
This! Its just too funny! I even saved it to my Bookmarks and for offline reading! I love this story so far as well! - InsaneJJ
A Bean chapter 11 . 6/7/2015
What even happened here
I'm so confused
Angelfirenze chapter 11 . 5/26/2015
Dude, you're nuts. Seriously.
northpeach chapter 11 . 5/21/2015
Dear GOD... Really? Khan? Really? I mean really, really? Dear God I LOVE you.
MaidMarian17 chapter 11 . 5/18/2015
Oh. My Goodness. I might've died laughing
PA chapter 11 . 5/16/2015
I laughed out loud. More than once.
Guest chapter 11 . 5/16/2015
Holy. Mother. Of. God. It is 2 am in the morning and I laughed so hard I shat myself. Literally, after the "KHAAAAN" part... Just... Oh my god... What the fuck... I am having an emotional uproar.
demon edge chapter 11 . 4/30/2015
So very precious, my sidesnare aching
xTheWandererx chapter 11 . 4/7/2015
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IM CRYING! This is absolutely brilliant
AKA99 chapter 11 . 3/27/2015
Oh this is comedy gold. Brilliant work. Thank you to the author and especially the people who suggested stuff.
Myu-chan chapter 11 . 3/27/2015
I can't take this! Too much! Brain overload!
No seriously
Way too funny, i am dying from laughting.
morcheller chapter 11 . 3/23/2015
Much more of that crap and I'm dropping this story and removing your name from my follow list!
Are you writing a story or just wasting time and ink?
Village-Mystic chapter 11 . 3/21/2015
The adult one (girl Draco is 13) made me laugh the loudest... but I smiled broadly and chortled through much of this chapter.
Callian31 chapter 11 . 3/21/2015
? That is all.
hisnhers chapter 11 . 3/15/2015
Howling with laughter!

Banteringduo chapter 11 . 3/15/2015
Seriously, I can't do this. I have collapsed into a puddle of gasping.
Evie Glacier Tako chapter 11 . 3/13/2015
I loved this chapter. I was laughing so hard at almost every scenario. I can't wait to click next to see what the next chapter brings.
4everfictional chapter 11 . 3/12/2015
Yes. These are bae, someone needs to make these a reality, and thank you for sharing it with me.
Saissa chapter 11 . 3/12/2015
The Khaaaaan one was the funneiest!

And the last one where Harry gets sorted as the headmaster - I have seen that in one other fic as well.

But the real sorting in the last chapter - where the hat says "just kidding" and changes its mind - after half an hour or so of silence - well that was probably for the best.

I can see why this fic is now more than 100 chapters long since Harry clearly has this obsessive need to QUESTION every single thing that he ever sees or learns!

It must get boring sometimes. Because now Harry is ten times worse that the Know-it-All that Hermione ever was.
nekomode chapter 11 . 3/11/2015
Holy shit, Harry is time-turned Tom, isn't he?!
(Sorry, but not sorry, I'm having a blast with this wild-mass-guessing thing.)
Berlin chapter 11 . 3/5/2015
Poor Dumbles in the last Omake XD
calyss chapter 11 . 2/28/2015
Guest chapter 11 . 2/25/2015
This is my favorite chapter of anything, ever
Abilina chapter 11 . 2/4/2015
I'm fairly certain that this was the best thing that I have ever read.
Guest chapter 11 . 2/3/2015
allenx14 chapter 11 . 1/18/2015
Okay that one killed me. That chapter just killed me. I like couldn't stop laughing for a full five minuets. That was just perfect.
Bakkughan chapter 11 . 1/6/2015
OMG! the part where the hat just screames out random names makes me laugh even just thinking about it! XD omg i have tears in my eyes!
Kittens Kat chapter 11 . 1/5/2015
Guest chapter 11 . 12/14/2014
This was the best thing I have ever read.
Elizabeth A.A chapter 11 . 12/14/2014
-rediscover the lost magics that created you
there was a brief pause.
"Minerva, I need you"
"Ah... erm yes, s-sorting hat?"
"You had to put up with this for HOW LONG?"
"S-seven hours..."
TheCauldron chapter 11 . 12/10/2014
*chokes, gasps, flails, falls off my chair* oh god! The pancakes, representatives, atreides thing made me accidently spit ginger ale on my toddler...
IV Legacy of Poseidon chapter 11 . 12/7/2014
shampoo, classic
Guest Mustache chapter 11 . 11/28/2014
Loved this chapter, I laughed so hard at these, I hope you've made more omakes!
kevans94 chapter 11 . 11/27/2014
N. E. Person chapter 11 . 11/9/2014
Yes. Harry the House-elf. :D
theninjaaa chapter 11 . 11/6/2014
Holy crap. I'm about to die of laughter.

“Oh dear. This has never happened before.”
“Your mind is beginning to assimilate mine.”
WHAAAAT? You mean like the Borg?
“No! Shut up!”
The Sorting Hat screamed and leapt off Harry’s head seconds before it grew a rather unsightly scar on its brim and suddenly sported glasses. It then began hopping maniacally towards the Head Table shouting, “YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.”

“Oh dear. This has never happened before.”
“Harry... I am your father.”


“Oh dear. This has never happened before.”
“I’ve heard about students writing fanfiction about other students before, but it seems that students of Hogwarts are already shipping you with Draco Malfoy.”
“And Professor Snape.”

Sweat began to break out on Professor McGonagall’s brow. Scenario after scenario played out through Minerva's head, each worse than the last. The Hat would say that Harry was too evenly balanced between Houses to Sort, and decide that he belonged to all of them. The Hat would proclaim that Harry's mind was too strange to be Sorted. The Hat would demand that Harry be expelled from Hogwarts. The Hat had gone into a coma. The Hat would insist that a whole new House of Doom be created just to accommodate Harry Potter, and Dumbledore would make her do it...
Well, at least she would be recognized forever as the head of House Doom. An easier route to fame... now that she could live with. Maybe she’d grow famous enough that she could resign and live in Chiswick in the Wizarding District. Or she could find some crazy cat lady and live with her for the rest of her life. As a cat, of course. Suddenly the House of Doom wasn’t sounding so bad.
“MCGONAGALL!” the Sorting Hat shouted.
Confused, Professor McGonagall rose from her chair. “Yes? What is it?”
“No, no, I was just sorting Harry Potter into Minerva McGonagall’s care,” the Hat explained. “You will be his tutor through his seven years at Hogwarts.”
“Excellent!” Dumbledore proclaimed, seemingly oblivious to the look of horror on McGonagall’s face, her dreams of retirement shattered. “McGonagall will be head of Gryffindor in addition to her new duties as Harry’s tutor.”
“Headmaster!” she protested. “I cannot possibly put up with that kind of workload!”
“Then I will have someone else teach your Transfiguration classes.”
“Professor Sprout.”
Professor Sprout rose as well, her face the color of spoiled milk. “Then who will teach Herbology?”
“Professor Quirrell.”
The Defense Professor wasn’t listening. He was a zombie.
McGonagall asked the question that the Defense Professor surely would have asked had he been awake. “Then who will teach Defense Against the Dark Arts?”
Dumbledore thought for a moment. “Voldemort.”

Harry woke up in the infirmary. Madam Pomfrey was hovering over him, muttering incantations while her wand spewed sparks in his face.
“Oh good, you’re awake,” she said briskly. “A mental overload like that would have made you into a vegetable if you weren’t everything everyone said you were.”
A drop of liquid slid down Harry’s throat.
“Fortunately for you, you are,” she finished.
“What happened?” Harry asked.
Madam Pomfrey sighed. “You overloaded the Sorting Hat with questions, so both your minds overloaded. The Sorting Hat exploded.”
“Then where am I sorted?”
“The Ministry of Magic convened on this while you were asleep. They decided to look at the facts - that the Sorting Hat was hundreds of years old, that its most ancient and sacred magics were lost when you destroyed it, and now Hogwarts is completely turned upside down, because half the first-years still haven’t been Sorted.. Judging from this, they have decided to move you to Durmstrang.”


The Sorting Hat sat on Harry Potter’s head for over ten minutes. The atmosphere in the Great Hall was one of absolute tension. The first years were already whispering that the Sorting Hat taking a long time to sort someone was the hallmark of a Dark Wizard. The older ones shook their heads and tried to look smarter than the younger ones, while most of the time dismally failing.
Suddenly the Sorting Hat straightened. “Everyone!” it called. “I have an important announcement!”
At this the entire Head Table stood. In over eight hundred years the Sorting Hat had never made any announcement other than the Sorting. This was unheard of, but somehow McGonagall figured that it wasn’t a coincidence that the Hat had decided to make its first ever announcement while it rested on the head of Harry Potter.
“Harry Potter and I have decided to get married!”





“Oh dear. This has never happened before.”
“Open the fob watch. You’ll see.”

“SLYTHERIN!” the Sorting Hat announced, as Harry swept it off his head and went to join Draco Malfoy at the Slytherin table.
An old lady wearing magenta standing by the Head Table smiled at the sight of them. “Look at you two! You would make the perfect couple!”
Harry looked up at the lady. “Ma’am - I’m not gay.”
She smiled again. “Don’t bother denying it, dear; it’s all the same to me.” She looked into the eyes of everyone in the Hall. “Live and let live, that’s what I say.”

“Mr. Hat, that’s not a House -”
“Yes it is, as a matter of fact. A most Noble and Ancient House.”
Draco was smirking.
“But why are you Sorting me into -”
“You and Draco are now married.”


“HUFFLEPUFF! haha jk lol”

“HEADMASTER!” the Sorting Hat called.
“Yes?” Dumbledore asked, rising from his chair.
The Sorting Hat swiveled on Harry’s head to look at the Headmaster. “Who is responsible for allowing Harry Potter into Hogwarts?”
It took a few moments for Professor McGonagall to realize that Dumbledore was looking very pointedly in her direction. She stood, nearly falling in the process, and, doing her best to sound authoritative, said, “That would be me.”
“Then,” the Sorting Hat proclaimed, “I hereby re-Sort you into Slytherin, where all the Dark Wizards belong, for you have committed a most evil crime.”
McGonagall was speechless. Instead it was Harry Potter who spoke from under the Hat’s brim. “On what charges do you accuse Minerva McGonagall?”
“Bringing this THING into this school!”

“Mr. Hat, that’s not a House -”
“Yes it is, as a matter of fact. A most Able and Nocient House.”
“What the hell?”
“Oops. Sorry.” The Hat looked embarrassed, if a hat can look embarrassed. “I got tongue-tied.”


The Headmaster rose, looking puzzled. “Excuse me?”
“Bond... James Bond.”

Harry sighed. “You keep using that word. I do not think you know what it means.”





According to Professor Dumbledore after the Sorting, nobody had known that the Hat had a self-destruct.

“WIZARD!” the Hat shouted, after twenty-three long minutes on Harry’s head.
Hagrid rose from the Head Table, a look of pure astonishment plastered onto his face. “Harry...” he stammered. “Yer a wizard.”
“SHUT UP, HAGRID!” shouted George Weasley. “You say that every time you enlist a new wizard!”
“Yeah!” shouted Fred. “I remember when you said that to me!”
Hagrid protested angrily. “No, I said that to George.”
Fred and George looked at each other and then continued. “Yes, I’m George!” Fred said. “And I remember when you -”
Dumbledore watched all of this with a slight smile and benign twinkle in his eyes, while Professor Snape looked as if he was trying to make his head explode. Professor McGonagall had her head in her hands, and Professors Flitwick and Sprout were trying (unsuccessfully) to ignore the whole spectacle. As for the students, they simply sat where they were, as if frozen. A few of the first years were tugging at the older ones’s sleeves, trying to figure out if t
MyCopacetic chapter 11 . 10/24/2014
Edgar3t chapter 11 . 10/24/2014
ShadowPillow chapter 11 . 10/22/2014
Laughed so hard.
Guest chapter 11 . 10/19/2014
Ohmigawd, I can't stop laughing! XDDDD *choke* Oh, poor Minnie. XD luv this!
Rohan Willouhby chapter 11 . 10/7/2014
Holy Crap. I just want to say that I really enjoyed this one, and that I especially enjoy the very last one, I'm currently crying tears of mirth! Thank you!
FearlessSun chapter 11 . 9/21/2014
This is literally the best thing I have ever read. Okay, maybe not the best thing, but it's up there, because I'm dying.
Faiien chapter 11 . 9/20/2014
This was hilarious to read. No regrets!
MeiPhantomhive chapter 11 . 9/18/2014
godlet chapter 11 . 9/10/2014
MasterStabroek13 chapter 11 . 9/3/2014
I think I'm hysterical...
alix33 chapter 11 . 8/27/2014
"antimusical instruments", hehehe.
Poor yowling and exploding Sorting Hat.
Peach Wookiee chapter 11 . 8/26/2014
As someone who actually remembers when Ghostbusters came out in theaters, I salute you!
KagedIn chapter 11 . 8/24/2014
So far this story is too enjoyable! I find Harry's character amusing and I love that you have viable data/theories/info to back it up! Can't wait to continue! Also this omake chapter is a hilarious addition!
Talkingbirdguy chapter 11 . 8/11/2014
Oh Lord, my family thinks I have been sucking down laughing gas from laughing so hard at all these omakes.
thepkrmgc chapter 11 . 7/30/2014
yay for deleted scenes! can we get more of these later?
smeggedoff chapter 11 . 7/15/2014
I am sitting here currently crying with laughter due to the version with the screaming hat making a break for the head table, and have been for at least 5 minutes. Well done, this is how to write omake, people.
Rain Harmonia chapter 11 . 7/11/2014
Those different ideas about what had never happened before were all so funny! This is a great story, even if I don't understand half of what Harry says
Foxy-Floof chapter 11 . 7/3/2014
Oh God... *falls down and dies*

No seriously, I would place my first few votes as well as my last, on the variation that ends with the Hat leaping from Harry's head and struggles desperately to get away from Harry.
gillamor chapter 11 . 7/1/2014
Your story is so funny that I died of laughter for fifteen minutes. I think I prefer this version to the original Harry Potter series. XD
DalfgantheBlue chapter 11 . 6/27/2014
After this chapter I've come to the conclusion that I love you and want to have you babys.
QhBeJaBhv9fzLNJSR6by chapter 11 . 6/17/2014
InArduisFidelis-RAMC chapter 11 . 6/15/2014
I laughed so much I cried. A dance number, the achoo house ... my mind has exploded from sheer awesomeness
Uraharaisgod chapter 11 . 6/7/2014, this is pure epic! Loved the rapidfire alternate sorting's, culminating in the hat screaming "KHAAAAAN!"
00 Non C. Anon 00 chapter 11 . 6/4/2014
Fluffy Dream chapter 11 . 5/14/2014
SixPerfections chapter 11 . 5/10/2014
Omake was amazingly amazing... Ghost Busters spontaneous singing... OMG forever love
LRH chapter 11 . 4/16/2014
this is beautiful. just... i love it
makes me laugh, love the science bits, and an interesting take on the universe. am looking forward to reading the rest.
good work man
ArcanePracti-cat chapter 11 . 4/12/2014

"House Elf"
Harry fainting

Guest chapter 11 . 3/27/2014

RIP in peace my sides
AnnechanB chapter 11 . 3/20/2014
I laughed the whole way thru this chapter! Thank you for giving me a moment to let my brain catch a breath:) It's been a fun yet intense read so far and I am looking forward to keep reading:)
sachi1325 chapter 11 . 3/8/2014
Now that was brilliant, the Headmaster! :D
AquilaPallas129 chapter 11 . 2/26/2014
Harry as Headmaster; Hogwarts is doomed. but it would be really funny... imagine Harry and the portraits getting along...
Harlequin de Rustre chapter 11 . 2/23/2014
These omakes are pretty dreadful, I'm sorry...
tolraisgrey chapter 11 . 2/21/2014
THIS IS POSSIBLY THE FUNNIEST CRACKY HILARIOUS BEAUTY I HAVE EVER READ! THIS CHAPTER RIGHT HERE! YES THE CAPS LOCK IS NECESSARY! Seriously though, my housemates weren't sure whether I was sobbing or in hysterics. They're on the floor below me as I read. YOU RULE!
Wolf vs Bunny chapter 11 . 2/15/2014
Brill, I at the last one!
QAllison chapter 11 . 2/15/2014
I laughed so hard at the house of achoo! *laughs again*
Snowflakekitten234 chapter 11 . 2/15/2014
Anyone who didn't laugh once during this chapter deserves a medal! xD
Mona Hartmann chapter 11 . 2/13/2014
The 'Achoo' moment was so surprising funny I drooled all over my bed somehow at 3AM.
Sparkysbro chapter 11 . 2/10/2014
These were just plain awesome. And Naruto! That one had me laughing for a while. The Headmaster idea would have been very interesting. Ghostbusters!
IXAthenaeum chapter 11 . 2/7/2014
-rolls on floor laughing- This was- Ghostbusters and- Draco's secretly a /girl/ and- Headmaster.. Pfft
Vampires2rocks chapter 11 . 2/5/2014 it bad that - for pure comedy - I wanted some of these Omakes to be actual plot lines that you'd continue?

Whirling chapter 11 . 2/2/2014
I feel like I just read a gag reel oh my god I am in tears
Talonis Wolf chapter 11 . 1/27/2014
Priceless. Showing how things could have been is an awesome way of getting the reader to think 'What if...' , and thus get readers to /really/ think about your writing.

In laymans terms, "Nice touch" :)
Grizzmon chapter 11 . 1/13/2014
Headmaster Harry? Now THAT would be amusing!
FendersForever chapter 11 . 1/4/2014
Holy crap that was good :)
At "Atreides" I was laughing out loud.
At "Khaaan!" I actually fell off my chair screaming with laughter in the middle of the University Library. People were not amused :P
Residenthobo chapter 11 . 1/1/2014
And now I want to read a fanfic in which Harry gets raped by a fem!draco... I'm messed up. :/
CMVreud chapter 11 . 12/28/2013

Every time, every damn time.
One of my all time favorites.
Dawn Darkling chapter 11 . 12/12/2013
I love how silly you can take this.
A Friend chapter 11 . 11/29/2013
I was watching Dune when the Atreides part came up :)
deathlyHealer chapter 11 . 11/21/2013
What the heck was all of that? Don't get me wrong, it was very amusing, and I think you should consider using the last section to make a separate, alternate universe fic to this fic. That would be cool...
DeletedAccount3498 chapter 11 . 11/8/2013
Haha, these omakes were harilious! I liked all the random "house" names shouting, and also the one where the sorting hat trolls Harry! (trolls as in: makes fun of, not in the actual mythological creature...)

You know, in one way, this whole entire chapter could just be the sorting hat running it's head through all the possibilities of how he/she could've sorted Harry, and all the flashes of sortings are just it's thinking. But since it borrows another person's intelligence to communicate, perhaps it could be sitting on somebody's head in this chapter? I'm thinking perhaps Professor Mcgonagal, since I doubt Harry will want to look at sorting possibilities if he had another conversation with the sorting hat :P I also love the one where it runs off Harry's head and explodes XD
willam and jack and jake chapter 11 . 10/22/2013
lol there all funny
Arrogantt chapter 11 . 10/6/2013
*mouth is frothing* I DON'T EVEN-

BOC chapter 11 . 10/6/2013
I was seriously expecting someone to yell kami-hami-haa! Some where in there.
fuyukochii chapter 11 . 9/21/2013
I laughed so hard.
SinfulScribbles chapter 11 . 8/26/2013
"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."


"I'm allergic to your hair shampoo -"

And then the Sorting Hat sneezed, with a mighty "A-CHOO!" that echoed around the Great Hall.

"Well!" Dumbledore cried jovially. "It seems Harry Potter has been sorted into the new House of Achoo! McGonagall, you can serve as the Head of House Achoo. You'd better hurry up on making arrangements for Achoo's curriculum and classes, tomorrow is the first day!"

"But, but, but," stammered McGonagall, her mind in nearly complete disarray, "who will be Head of House Gryffindor?" It was all she could think of, she had to stop this somehow...

Dumbledore put a finger to his cheek, looking thoughtful. "Snape."

Snape's screech of protest nearly drowned out McGonagall's, "Then who will be Head of Slytherin?"


Oww Oww my sides hurt I was laughing so much. I think im gonna die from laughing too much. Oww
Guest chapter 11 . 8/21/2013
1 for naruto referance. Freds a genius. Harry should be headmaster.
bravados chapter 11 . 8/21/2013
I love how this story can be all science-y (that's not a very smart word) and really funny ( that's a real word!) at the same time. (:
cross-over-lover232 chapter 11 . 8/15/2013
i want to see more of the headmaster one, i nearly chocked on my spite on that one!

...pickled strawberries...?

now there has GOT to be a story behind that
GrauSturm chapter 11 . 8/14/2013
So, why wasn't SPARTAAAAAAA! in here?
addikhabbo chapter 11 . 8/14/2013
Guest chapter 11 . 8/7/2013
This has got to be THE best chapter Ive ever read in any story. I nearly fell of my chair laughing... how do you come up with these ideas? PLEASEEEEE TELL US YOUR SECRET
tricorvus chapter 11 . 8/2/2013
I like the last one best. And quite frankly, the Sorting Hat used in Harry's Sorting was an imposter anyway. As the original, which sorted my husband (rghosman) into Slytherin in 1973, found his mind too awfully strange, leapt off his head and committed suicide...
Rock on!
Pavel.Fr chapter 11 . 8/1/2013
The last omake was hilarious and I loved Minnie's nightmare! I really enjoyed the omake with Gred and Forge!
Ash-Bookworm113 chapter 11 . 8/1/2013
Netchka chapter 11 . 7/31/2013
Funny bits. Made me laugh. :-)
Arafell chapter 11 . 7/25/2013
This is still the best Omake (3) ever written.
Anise chapter 11 . 7/16/2013
Oh, I had forgotten how much I love this story.
And it truly is a story- you laugh, you cry, you smile, and perhaps most importantly, you grow. Every chapter seems like a new lesson, broadening your intellect as well as your own moral conscious, demanding more of you.

I could go on, but I won't bore you. You're a gifted writer and your story has made me think more than 12 years of education combined. Well done!
SkyNocturne chapter 11 . 7/13/2013
Omg... this omake chapter is precious...! I've never laughed so hard in my life! Especially about the shampoo and also the last one...haha!
Tama Saga chapter 11 . 7/12/2013
Oh god! Those are some awesome sortings. I particularly liked the Khan and headmaster scenario.
Guest chapter 11 . 7/12/2013
i love it!
absolutely the headmasters office!
To the TARDIS chapter 11 . 7/7/2013
*laughing my head off*
Meck Viking chapter 11 . 7/7/2013
i got to give kudos and thumbs up to the nartuo omake. double thumbs to the ghost buster one and a salute to the headmaster office.
ava-rook chapter 11 . 7/5/2013
lol *wiping tears of mirth* last omake is my fav. but fred changing his voice is a close second lol *falls off seat*
Anon chapter 11 . 7/2/2013
I'm dying! This is hilarious!
Cemalidor chapter 11 . 7/2/2013
As mentioned before tea doesn't interact well with lungs. :XD Absolutely loved this.
Mobius Command chapter 11 . 7/1/2013
Ah, yes, omakes. These are often funny/crackficish/(lolwut?)ish. Some odd ideas, ones that actually made some SENSE, aaand the raep. Honestly, that was quite the unique idea for a HP fanfi! to find Shipping material!
Guest chapter 11 . 6/30/2013
What just happened?
Where am I?
Alissie chapter 11 . 6/30/2013
1. Interesting.
2. THANK YOU for removing it. I'm one of those people allergic to lyrics in fanfic. It didn't really fit the tone, either, though I could see it happening. (Except Ron would have gone to sit with his brother and they would have found out that Harry is a prat right now and wouldn't have been singing like that at all. In my head, at least.)
3. -bows to your greatness-
House of Doom: McGonagall
Gryffindor: Snape
Slytherin: Hagrid

ShadowFireZelda chapter 11 . 6/23/2013
Brilliant, the last one is absolutely brilliant. The others are very good as well.
TheWeasleyTwinsAreMyBitches chapter 11 . 6/8/2013
jajaja khaaannn!
Lioness Lazuli chapter 11 . 6/5/2013
Kudos for the Naruto mention! :D
But wow. I feel for Minerva! Having Harry as headmaster *shakes head pityingly*
awesomeness-rocks chapter 11 . 5/16/2013
I love the last omake. It is hallarous.
XxXDark-DesiresxXx chapter 11 . 5/8/2013
I am wondering it there is a way to favorite certain chapters because I love chapter eleven! I could not stop laughing!
EternallyPivots chapter 11 . 5/4/2013
I thought there was a part in the last chapter where it said "suddenly, it wasn't too late" for Harry to change the choices he made, and that's why he went to Ravenclaw. Did it get deleted, or was it never there? If it was intentionally deleted, is this because you changed your mind about the cause of the last line, or simply because you didn't want to give away some part of it?
foodgoodmovebad chapter 11 . 5/1/2013
this chapter is AWESOME and my favorite part was "ROOT!" although it was a tough call between that and "PANCAKE!" (Root was a reference to Naruto, right?) this entire Fanfiction is brilliant and I love it so far! even though Harry annoys me so much sometimes (maybe all of the time) :P
Ceellia-19 chapter 11 . 4/21/2013


No seriously, this is hilarious. Just for fun, I decided to check the most reviewed story HP story on ever, and I honestly expected it be something disappointing, however, it is not. Thank you for this, and I'll be on to the next chapter.

ps: do you think JK Rowling ever reads fanfiction? (I know I would if I were her) She really ought to read this.

pps: I don't expect an answer on the question stated earlier.

ppps: yes, I know that makes the former statement, as well as the question, completely superfluous.
RussianDestruction chapter 11 . 4/18/2013
"Who will be Head of House Gryffindor?"
Dumbledore put a finger to his cheek, looking thoughtful. "Snape."
Snape's screech of protest nearly drowned out McGonagall's, "Then who will be Head of Slytherin?"
OMG HAHAHAHAHA! And my favorite alternate sorting scene was draco m!preg. :P
And that last part, with the Hat sorting him into the Headmaster's office? TEEHEE!
sww11685 chapter 11 . 4/16/2013
Hilarious, all of the alternate sortings.
Chmia chapter 11 . 4/5/2013
You made me giggle on several occasions, thank you. This piece of fanfiction is an excellent example of wit.
JERUSALEM's Bride chapter 11 . 4/1/2013
"KHAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNN" i died. omg i died and its all your fault.
Bushwah chapter 11 . 3/28/2013
What about the House of Cards?
Lord Jashin Follower chapter 11 . 3/25/2013
I laughed when Hadrid became the head of house for Slytherin. I spit out my milk when Harry was the reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor, Salazar Slytherin, and Naruto. Buy as a Trekie(only TOS) I actually covered my face a rolled around on the ground when Khan popped up. . . KHAAANNNN!
Random number generator chapter 11 . 3/7/2013
This is hilarious.
justthelittlethings chapter 11 . 3/3/2013
like my handle says the little things make me happy, the song was bloody brilliant
hervissa chapter 11 . 2/27/2013
Holy ROwling, those Omakes are awesome XDDD
I think that the first one is perfectly okay to happen...because that's how Harry thinks, right? ;)
Ghostbusters - awesome idea :D
And the "endings"...I have no words. I laughed too hard. "But who will be the Head of Slytherin?" "Hagrid." xDDDD
I know. I make too many smileys. But that's the only way how to show my YAYAYAYAYing while reading another amazing chap :D

hervissa :)
Awesome chapter 11 . 2/26/2013
Reincarnation of Naruto? Lol, totally wasn't expecting that!
The Skaz of the Void chapter 11 . 2/12/2013
Dude, you totally should have thrown in the ghostbusters gag. And the Atreides bit nearly killed me from laughing. Well done.
MaritimeBlue chapter 11 . 2/10/2013
Oh. Dear. Lord. I honestly wasn't sure when to write a review, but after laughing so hard I began to cry, I simply must applaud you, Dear Author.
What a stunning INTJ you have created.
And Harry's little speeches have made me PROUD to be a scientist.
Carry on, as I will certainly carry on reading.
Enei Emmu chapter 11 . 2/2/2013
Why was there not an omake of SPARTA!?
Also, "Headmaster" was brilliant.
Ciel Elyse chapter 11 . 1/29/2013
Laughing too much. This is unhealthy for my stomach.
chibi-esque chapter 11 . 1/20/2013
The.Psycho.Lunatic chapter 11 . 1/9/2013
hahahaha loved all of these :D :D
Writing bunny chapter 11 . 1/6/2013
Biabara chapter 11 . 1/3/2013
Your version of Harry as heasmaster? One word: pandemonium.
I'm going to print your omake and pin it over my bed. No more morning depression!
Arkh Cthuul chapter 11 . 1/2/2013
Ah, that explains it.

On a sidenote: still hilarious, especially the Draco, Khaannnn(!), Atreides and final "versions".
TLD110166 chapter 11 . 1/2/2013
I just about sprayed soda across my computer screen, when I read the last Omake. ROFLMAO! I wish I'd started reading this story, once it reached 60,000 words, which is where I have my story length filter set.
Herooftimes chapter 11 . 12/26/2012
Exploding hat had me rolling with laughter
Lightningblade49 chapter 11 . 12/23/2012
Axcel chapter 11 . 12/21/2012
Sorting Hat: "TZEENCH!"

Just as planned.
ToBornotToB-Rad chapter 11 . 12/18/2012
Omake Files #3 were Pure comedy genius, and I for one both salute and thank you for them!
StrangeoneXD chapter 11 . 12/16/2012
McGonagall's thought process is highly amusing and the omake's in general are. Oh well.
Dan Riddle chapter 11 . 12/14/2012
Hahaha! UNREAL! :'D
Sigil Dagger chapter 11 . 12/7/2012
*cracks up and makes a spirited effort to cough up a lung or two in mids of hysterics*

Above pretty much sums it up. Reading on... XD
GirlAnimePrincess chapter 11 . 12/7/2012
omg these omakes!
Rjalker chapter 11 . 12/3/2012

Li Sinong chapter 11 . 12/3/2012
I'm a Chinese. Someone translated your novel into Chinese and put it on our forum. He translated only 5 chapters,but I really want to know what happened then. So I come to fanfiction for the English version. I'm not very good at English, some of those local expressions confused me. BUT the story do attracts me a lot. I love your characters.
Diavo chapter 11 . 11/12/2012
good that you put the Harry Potter version of Ghostbusters here. i missed it.
Guest chapter 11 . 11/10/2012
Oh my God, what am I READING?
Can't. Stop. Weird snarky-giggle-laugh-thing.
MissNikita chapter 11 . 11/10/2012
OMG! You are killing me, Ghost buster sriously!? I think you need to be arrested for attempted murder, victim almost died of cardiac arrest due to too much laughter.

I read that bit while listening to the GB theme on youtube, visualising Harry dancing through the great hall.
OrionRedde chapter 11 . 10/21/2012

And that's when I lost my shit.
geekzgalore chapter 11 . 10/7/2012
Okay, this one was sort of crazy, bat crazy
Scandinator chapter 11 . 10/3/2012
somefish chapter 11 . 10/1/2012
I literally laughed out loud when Hagrid became Head of Slytherin,
FollowTheButterflies124 chapter 11 . 9/23/2012
OH MY SIDES! Tears flow freely down my face and I am unable to breathe. Thanks. To your hilarious writing. For making me die. This is my ghost writing.
The Potters of the Future chapter 11 . 9/20/2012
Hebisama chapter 11 . 9/19/2012
Omake? HILARIOUS! My personal favourites were Atreides , Khaan and representatives (i nearly fell out of my chair on this one)!
liri chapter 11 . 9/15/2012
freaking grandiose!
contest4jen chapter 11 . 8/31/2012
*blink blink* *grasshopers chirping in the silence* ...What?!1?!
EveBB chapter 11 . 8/18/2012
While I certainly preferred your "real" chapter 10, this chapter made me laugh quite a bit!
chippermovie chapter 11 . 8/12/2012
This chapter was too funny not to review. The chapter really gives meaning to lol. 10/10 for the omakes
voodooqueen126 chapter 11 . 8/1/2012
Weird chapter.
delete09285 chapter 11 . 7/30/2012
Yay, the song is still there! I can understand people not liking it, but it's nice to know it still exists.

Personally, getting to hear the Ghostbusters theme song in its original context was the highlight of the entire movie. This is what happens to you when you need to take a break from HPMOR :)
small sin chapter 11 . 7/27/2012
I absolutely loved this chapter, the comic relief was amazing even if it wasn't really needed because the story itself is very funny.
AnimationNut chapter 11 . 7/26/2012
These are hilarious!
noiha chapter 11 . 7/21/2012
LOL this is my favorite chapter so far! this fanfic is brilliant! xD
Satirica chapter 11 . 7/16/2012
House of Pancakes...House of Reprasentatives...I see. I did like the first of the Omake Files #3 the best...
themusicneverstops chapter 11 . 7/13/2012
I actually cant breathe from laughing right now...
Best. Story. Ever.
Fudgecicles chapter 11 . 7/13/2012
omg, that last one is the best, in my opinion.
Jaol chapter 11 . 7/7/2012
I love all the versions!
Guest chapter 11 . 7/4/2012
Chapter 11 with the Omakes was freaking hilarious! I couldn't... Omg xD
Guest chapter 11 . 7/1/2012
The one about the rape and following obliviation was the funniest one, imo.

No, really; it's just a case of fundamental attribution error. If you read the reviews first then you just need some context.
Guest chapter 11 . 6/30/2012
This was great. I thoroughly enjoyed reading every one of these possible scenarios. Bravo.
Noctofuriens chapter 11 . 6/24/2012
Sorry. Detailed review to be submitted later, but I just had to say it:

ThisIsTheOnlyNameICouldPick chapter 11 . 6/22/2012
XD lmao!
benthor chapter 11 . 6/17/2012
Oh, so the Ghostbusters thing is now gone. I am very much ok with that choice, especially if it means that more people are going to stick with the story.
EllipsisObsessed chapter 11 . 6/16/2012
excuse me as I go die... the sorting hat ones, dear lord, I was laughing so hard. Anywho back to reading

-Ellipsis aka ...
Kendra chapter 11 . 6/10/2012
*maniacal laughter*
Anonymous chapter 11 . 5/23/2012
This is the funniest thing I've ever read.
HerGoldenHair chapter 11 . 5/23/2012
All brilliant, though I have to say I think my favorite is:

pocketgiraffe chapter 11 . 5/20/2012
Oh gosh, I can't stop giggling like an idiot. THIS OMAKE IS ABSOLULTELY HILARIOUS. While I'm at it, your entire story and writing is just fantastic in general. I've never read anything this great on ever!
SAMarcus chapter 11 . 5/17/2012
Literally ROFLMAO

In fact, if I could sue you for nearly giving me a cardiac/asphyxiating me due to laughter, I'd be calling my laywer... well, I'd have someone else call my lawyer since I would be incapacitated.

Kepp it up, you sick wierdo :))
YeahYouWannaKnowMyName chapter 11 . 5/9/2012
had to review this chapter if only to say "Poor Minerva" xD You, my dear, are brilliant. This story is something I never expected to find on this site. It is a challenge to read. Not just because I can't just burst into laughter in this house, but because I have to actually keep tabs open to look things up and understand the text completely. I've been reading this for 3 days and I am completely enthralled each time I pull it back up. Though I think you should put a warning in the description. When I first started reading I had an asthma attack from being surprised into laughter by Harry (or, rather, your) quick wit. Your Harry is completely tearing apart the world of Harry Potter that I know and I am enjoying it! haha

Fair Representation Rep chapter 11 . 5/8/2012
Please, I don't think you have really considered ALL possibilities here.

For example, why wasn't Harry sent to House of the Squid? Or what about living with the mermaids, where he might be able to learn new languages and have his first experience in anthropologizing magical existences? Because really, jumping into the magical world of humans is a lot for such a hyperactive mind as his. He could potentially go insane! Floating foetally around in water for a few years, especially those dangerous teenage ones, would give him a chance to calm down a little. Maybe have a confidence-building Avataresque experience.

Or he could have gone to House of the Forbidden Forest, where he could spy on the centaurs' research into astronomy and divination each night, returning home to his unicorn bride at dawn to suckle from her golden nipple all the day long. A much more productive existence.

Or sent to Beauxbatons, where there are SURELY some pretentious French children who have some experience with Descartes and Diderot.

Harry should really get out more. Push his boundaries. That would be the best stimulation for a child like him.

And of course, get him a pet. He needs a pet. He needs something fuzzy to love him.

Lots of love,

Becky chapter 11 . 5/7/2012
Dear me. HOW could you say that this story picks up around Chapter 10 (ok, it did...) and not let readers know that Chapter 11 is hysterical! I haven't laughed so hard in weeks.

I do believe I'm in love with your Minerva from the final Omake.
cherapin chapter 11 . 5/5/2012
Yeah, yeah, but the problem with all this egotistical (egoistical?) shoving yourself as author into the narrative (tale, story?) is that the reader (namely me, you egoistical bastridge, as Johnny Dangerously might say) is that I don't *want" to lose my train of thought and I don't want to follow all these alternative narratives. I like the story, tale, narrative you had going, you maroon, so get off your self-imposed pedestal and get on with it . . . if you please.
Hello chapter 11 . 5/4/2012
I love this story so far. I have to say I'm very impressed, I love Harry's logical way of thinking, if he was raised that way, I'm thoroughly positive, that in fact. He would act this way, I like and am sort of disturbed by it in way. He is intelligent, and his theories all logical, perfect, and make others at a loss for words. I do think, that if I get farther, he will think to much of his intelligence and go to far with it. He has already asked Hermione, I think this Harry and Hermione would be able to discover a lot of things, I just hope he doesn't become to conceited, and becomes evil. Though I do see that as a high-probability. This is a very interesting, perspective and idea, I'm really into it, and I will continue to read on. You are an amazing writer, this is one the most well-written stories I have read.
Deleted55555 chapter 11 . 5/2/2012
What is this? I don't even...*applause* that was totally cracktastic
insane panda chapter 11 . 5/2/2012
Ohmygodohgod. This is damn right hilarious! I was bloody rolling on the floor laughing my friggin lungs out. Nice! :D :D :D
psychothumbs chapter 11 . 4/21/2012
The first Omake in this chapter gives me an idea for a recursive fanfic: What if Methods of Rationality Harry was raised by the Dursleys? Basically, what if HPMOR lacked it's single primary point of departure, but still had all of the little and not so little other differences that separate it from canon? Presumably the Harry that exists in this new timeline would be something of a cross between canon!Harry and Rationality!Harry. Basically his intelligence and competence would be scaled up to the same degree that everyone's has in the HPMORverse, rather than to the incredible heights of Rational!Harry He'd probably be more like the hero Dumbledore was expecting really.
Faminana chapter 11 . 4/16/2012



That. Bloody. Chapter. Freaking. Confused. The. Hell. Out. Of. Me.

But it was hilarious.

*Insert goofy grin*
I Read For the Content chapter 11 . 4/16/2012
CrossoverxToxThexDarkxSide chapter 11 . 4/14/2012
Best funny chapter I have ever read. Ever.
Drizzt chapter 11 . 4/13/2012
what the bloody hell i can not stop fucking laffing at this shit.
The Understudy chapter 11 . 4/8/2012
1, 2, and 6 were my favorites. I actually enjoyed this a lot- a grand addition to the story.
Hidden Lines chapter 11 . 4/7/2012
Hey, you have a point saying HP is like Naruto. I never noticed that.

I think you could have gone with the one where the Sorting Hat answers all the questions really quick and sorts him. That would have been hilarious and random. But I'm glad you went with the mental debate.
BYoshi1993 chapter 11 . 4/7/2012
Great Omakes. A few of them made me laugh. As for your request for the last Omake to be made into a story, it slightly has. Look the "The Headmaster" by Chris Robins. It's pretty good in my opinion. I can't wait to read more of this amazing story.
phantomsonic chapter 11 . 4/2/2012
Dear sweet mother of god, I love this chapter.
Strop chapter 11 . 3/16/2012
I love this story and all it's rationality and science and witty, quotable lines. The first couple of Omake files were awesome...and the joke about House Atraides made me smile. Keep up the awesomeness!
Citsimsan chapter 11 . 2/21/2012
I couldn't wait to write my review. I've only read the first eleven chapters, but this fic would be worth it just with them. Pure comedy gold. It's said that it's more difficult to make people laugh than anything else, so I can assure you this experiment of yours is successful, at least with me.

I'll see what happens with the "Drama" parts.
Robbie the Phoenix chapter 11 . 2/18/2012
Words... cannot... describe...

I think I may have broken a rib from laughing so hard. I definitely got some odd looks. The final Omake is almost certainly my favourite, just because I really love your portrayal of Professor McGonagall. Just for this chapter, I'm now adding this story to my Favourites.
The Blind One chapter 11 . 2/18/2012
Thank you for that bit of perspective on how much else changed in this universe. Harry may be ludicrously overpowered, but so's turban-free Quirell, and even ol' Albus isn't that bad.

"ROOT!" Am now giggling far too hard.

I initially parsed the last one to mean that Harry would get in so much trouble, he ought to preemptively go to the Headmaster's office. I now assume you meant it sorted him into the literal role of Headmaster. Oh, the glorious chaos that would ensue.
Ithilwen Faelivrin chapter 11 . 2/8/2012
Would it be a paradox if Harry were the reincarnation of those three? And if he was installed as Headmaster, would Hogwarts survive the night?
Ansa88 chapter 11 . 2/8/2012
totally not anonymous chapter 11 . 2/4/2012
Yes. Yes! YES! This story is DELICIOUS!
eastern rosebud chapter 11 . 1/28/2012
The first omake is brief, pure hilarity! The last one is a great comedy, and makes me wish it could one day grow to an entire story on its own :0
Guest chapter 11 . 1/25/2012
Hahaha. Hilarious. Is Khan a reference to a movie and Atriedes to a game? Just wonder

This chapter win.
bonsei chapter 11 . 1/23/2012
House of Atreides? Is that a reference to Suikoden 2?
Gemclaw chapter 11 . 1/14/2012
I think I died twice over reading this. Hilarious. Good job.
WhiteElfElder chapter 11 . 1/6/2012
The Omakes are great and I can see where sme of the material either came from stories or some how ended up as stories...
Remzal Von Enili chapter 11 . 1/2/2012
headmaster harry? we're doomed
emcee31 chapter 11 . 12/31/2011
I really hope someone takes up your challenge to give Atchoo to Minerva, Griffindor to Severus, and Slytherin to Hagrid. Severus has the courage without the tendency to rush in where angels fear to tread, and Hagrid could show the Snakes the advantages to fearlessness and loyalty.
Chinky123 chapter 11 . 12/22/2011
...and Naruto!

I bow down in your glory.

I can not express in word how I felt about this chapter. I have never felt so inspired in my life.
ev chapter 11 . 11/19/2011
Thank you for these hilarious alternate-universe omakes. Keeping it lighthearted!
EpitomyofShyness chapter 11 . 11/9/2011
LOL! Oh god I love this oh god...
ShadowDragon010 chapter 11 . 11/6/2011
Lol very amusing
catinthebath chapter 11 . 11/3/2011
I have rarely read anything that makes me laugh more than this!
SO MANY TEARS chapter 11 . 10/31/2011
"I've had to tell students before that they were mothers - it would break your heart to know what I saw in their minds -

At first I assumed they had had underage affairs and had been dumped. Kind of sad, but heart-breaking?

Then I realized it meant rape.

Likely by her own family members.

Then I remembered McGonagall's worry that Harry had been somehow abused, and that she has to deal with abused children regularly.

BRB crying forever
AR chapter 11 . 9/20/2011
You read manga!

The naruto reference had me in fits. You're's like finding an old friend

Keep writing!
Megan Warner chapter 11 . 9/11/2011
I have never read anything funnier. I am trying desperately not to laugh loud enough to wake everyone up and probably failing. You. Are. Brilliant. I want you to know that I don't give that compliment to lot of people, not even myself, and really, trully mean it. But I am reading this story based on a premise that should completely fail and here you've gone and made it into something beautiful and Absolutely BRILLIANT that will probably mean so much more to me than I can logically justify for the rest of my life. Thank you.
Megan Warner chapter 11 . 9/11/2011
I have never read anything funnier. I am trying desperately not to laugh loud enough to wake everyone up and probably failing. You. Are. Brilliant. I want you to know that I don't give that compliment to slot of people, not even myself, and really trully mean it. But I am reading this story based on a premise that should completely fail and here you've gone and made it into something beautiful and Absolutely BRILLIANT.
Lydia M Argent chapter 11 . 9/11/2011
LOL someone should totally write a story where Harry becomes headmaster because of the sorting hat
PW chapter 11 . 9/8/2011
Definately my favorite was:


Oh! Brings back so many glorious memories.

Lovely fun chapter.
Max chapter 11 . 9/6/2011
I can offer a well-rounded critique to this/these. I can't breathe. This is the funniest thing in memory that I've ever read. Especially Harry being a father.
StalkerAngel chapter 11 . 9/4/2011
youxcan'txstop chapter 11 . 8/31/2011

I aughed so hard at this, particularly the 'Harry is a father' one and the last one, could you tell me if anyone did continue with these as their own continuation fic?
madeyemarauder chapter 11 . 8/29/2011
Hilarious! Hagrid would make a perfect head of house for Slytherin! but Harry as Headmaster - I'm not so sure. Must hurry on now and see where you're taking us.
narutonejii chapter 11 . 8/28/2011
What the fuckkk Hehahhahahahhehahhaha
Reader123456789 chapter 11 . 8/28/2011
You know what? I just might take you up on your offer to make a spin off of the last one!
ironhair chapter 11 . 8/27/2011
headmaster and Achoo were the funniest..

Sure do wish he got into Gryf, as we generally know the backstory better when he's in Grfy.

Still, looking forward to ravenclaw.
Tage chapter 11 . 8/25/2011
I see you spent alot of time deliberating how the last chater would turn out, I loved it, and I love this, you are an amazing writer!


I especially love how your humor and intelligence are on par with each other.
Talen-Jei chapter 11 . 8/23/2011
OMG! Chapter 11 is INCREDIBLE.

It is SO funny, I was just laughing at midnight and my father was screaming at me for not being able to sleep.

Really good, keep up the good work.
anonymous chapter 11 . 8/20/2011
CHANGEMYVOICEIO! Haha loved that one.


I love this more and more.
Pelahnar chapter 11 . 8/20/2011
This Is HILARIOUS! I gave up reviewing every chapter a few chapters back and will henceforth only review chapters that were absolutely AMAZING (and, once I get to the end, all the chapters that you then come out with) and this one definently qualifies - it qualifies enough that I've forgotten how to spell definently! Something I was extremely proud of figuring out. AND I don't care at the moment!

Likely, I'll start caring about said spelling error as soon as I hit the 'Submit Feeback/Review' button and by then it will be too late-but until then, whatever!
PT-chan ssu chapter 11 . 8/10/2011

XD This is one hell of a fic, I cant believe I just found out about it... (but then again, I only started actually reading the books last week...)

Well, I'm a little sad about how Ron is separated and Harry Hermiony are in Ravenclaw... but anyways, I'll just continue reading.
Raina Darlig chapter 11 . 8/7/2011
That was amazing... just whoah

I think my favorite was the one where draco rapes harry

oh my laws did I just type that

that is so wrong
theInsaneArtist chapter 11 . 8/4/2011
Hilarious omakes. But now I am becoming worried; I just realized that I occasionally think frighteningly simmilar to what was revealed in the mental conversations last chapter. Perhaps I, too, am relying too much on my laziness and sense of morality?

I mean, just because I wonder what would happen if I performed human experiments doesn't mean I would actually act upon my curiosity. I understand that just becuse I can do something doesn't mean I should do it.

... I think this calls for another round of serious soul searching. I haven't done that in about a month, I'm past due. It's time for me to, once again, ponder my possible response and actions should I find myself in certain moral dillemas or circumstances. :/

Often, the best stories are ones that make you think, even better if they make you look at and analyze yourself and your world. I'm not sure where I heard that before (I think it was in a theatre class and was pertaining to art and plays) but that certainly applies to this story. :D
MinawaAsuka chapter 11 . 7/30/2011
Omg, I laughed so hard at this chapter. So funny!

I seriously love the whole fanfiction, it becomes a compleatly different story after you've changed Harry but it's still easy to relate to since it's "Harry Potter. But then again, duh, that was your point...

Anyway, love it, very very well done (are you actually that smart?) and I look forward to reading the rest. Love Minawa
lizoftheinfinite chapter 11 . 7/29/2011
Okay, I'm going to read all the way through the entire d*mn thing and give a review on the last-so-far published chapter after this review (which will probably take a week or so . . .don't expect anything from me for a while). I usually don't review a multi-chap fic mid story, but so far your fic has completely flattened my expectations, so here goes:

1) Love it so far. Really, really love it.

2) Love your interpretations of the world. Draco's a jack*ss but you've done amazing things with his character.

3) Love Harry's snark. Love Harry's logic.

4) My main concern about this fic is that there won't be much heart in it at all. Obviously, since it's a lot darker version of the Harry Potter books, there won't be nearly as much since there are some definitely harsh aspects to this world. But there should still be heart. I am concerned with the way you discard Ron, because he brings a lot of heart to the books which balances out the themes well. However, I haven't read the whole fic yet so maybe you'll do a good job of it.

5) Love Hermione. Love, love, love Hermione. I was afraid you'd f*ck her up and make her pathetic next to Harry (cementing Harry's status as a Gary Stu) but she holds her own and he respects her for it, which was definitely a turning point in the story and the place where I decided to like Harry as a character and not merely an object of snark.

6) The entire conversation with the hat reminded me weirdly of conversations I've had with myself on the subject of my own arrogance.

7) Harry's conversation with the hat was extremely well-thought out and an amazing interpretation. I just can't explain how freaking much I love it. Really. I. Can't.

You rock my socks off so very much.

8) Plot is very well thought-out.

9) Your writing skills, while certainly not Neil Gaiman or Philip Pullman worthy, are definitely on par with JK Rowling's or even better since you avoid extraneous adjectives a lot better than she does.

. . . I had a self-demonstrating example there, which I'm sure you noticed, so I'd better stop pointing it out if I want to avoid sounding like a complete moron.

10) I am so very jealous of your crazy-awesomeness right now. I justify it to myself that I'm only sixteen. I read somewhere that you're thirty-one. Maybe I'll catch up to your skills in fifteen years. Maybe.

11) This fic so far has been incredibly inspiring. It makes me view the world differently, which, frankly, is the ultimate goal of any fiction.

12) When I review this fic in the future, I will not review it from the viewpoint of 'oh, he's raping canon!' I think canon rape is bad, but the way you've done it makes it seem almost like canon foreplay . . . agghh, I hate rape jokes so I'm just going to shut up and put myself out of my misery by slashing my wrists . . . and there I go with the suicide jokes. Next I'll make an abortion joke and you'll really have to kill me. GAH. SHUTTING UP NOW.

13) I laughed so hard during this chapter, and since I'm huddled up in my bed with the lights turned off at 11 at night, I'm pretty sure my mother heard my muffled screams and thinks I'm watching pr0n or something. Thanks a lot, Less Wrong. -_-

Either way, you're amazing. I'm going to stop reviewing and start picking my way through this amazing-thus-far monstrosity of a fic. And, of course, I will be sure to b*tch about any complaints I have. :) Since I got directed here from tvtropes, I will be, of course, vastly informed on the subject of b*tching people out.

Until later,

Sayu Blishtoka chapter 11 . 7/25/2011
I would absolutly love to read a story where harry becomes headmaster at 11. Lol. This story practically has me rolling on the floor. :)
sydg813 chapter 11 . 7/25/2011
Oh my god, that was amazing. SO MUCH LAUGHTER.
Dimac99 chapter 11 . 7/20/2011

This Charade chapter 11 . 7/18/2011
That was probably the hardest I have laughed in a very long time. Thank you for that. Also, as this is my first review of the story so far, I just want to say I think, over all, this is awesome. As any of my friends could tell you (if you were somehow to meet them and know they were my friends) I have been complaining about the irrationality of the Harry Potter books since I put them down after book 4. So thanks for picking up this challenge.

I'll save the more writing major-esque critical reviews for when I haven't just almost laughed myself off the bed at 3:38am on a day before class- and when I get closer to the more recent stuff.

One note, though- super props for using the strange loop consciousness theory from GEB. It is currently my favorite theory and seeing it made me smile.
raffitz chapter 11 . 7/17/2011
The only moment in my life in which I laughed almost as much as when reading this was when I was reading the Madame Malkin's incident. Seriously, will you marry me? Ok, not seriously. But having the hat yell KHAAAAN! was awesome. I absolutely adore this fanfic. I mean, it involves Harry/Hermione, which is very good; It's extremely instructive, much more so than the books themselves or any other fic I've read, which is certainly more than very good; and the bloody thing is extremely hilarious. I congratulate you on tempting me to steal your brain and merge it with mine (sorry. I'm extremely good at maths and physics, but not quite to your level. And I also know Pi up to the sixth digit, although I plan on one day learning it up to Feynman point so I can make the "999999 and so on" joke of apparent periodicity). It's a true privilege to read your take on the Harry Potter saga.
Alaude2019 chapter 11 . 7/10/2011
omg these were so funny! I love the Achoo, the last one with McGonagall, the reincarnation of GG, SS, and Naruto, and in general the entire thing was pretty funny. Yay for omake, I hope you do more :3
TheEscapeGoat chapter 11 . 7/10/2011
! I laughed so hard I fell out of my chair. Your story is amazing, but this chapter takes the proverbial cake. Loved it! :)
Guest chapter 11 . 7/5/2011
I literally laughed out loud harder than I have in a while.
Diz chapter 11 . 6/26/2011
Hahha best one: ATREIDES!
Herr Eisenheim chapter 11 . 6/23/2011
Ha ha! You saved the best for the last, eh?
Elena Forest chapter 11 . 6/19/2011
Laughed SO extremely hard at some of these!
Lena7213 chapter 11 . 6/10/2011
"-reincaranation of Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto!" Omygawd. I loved your omakes, all of them. Funny, ofcourse. Usually I skip them since most of the ones I've read from other stories are long, boring, and unentertaining. Loved the conversation between Harry and the sorting hat! McGonagall was right to be worried.
Cordelia Darcy chapter 11 . 6/9/2011
*wipes tears from eyes* I honestly think this is the hardest I've laughed in my entire life. This chapter was...beyond words. I was just browsing around this fic (I didn't really want to commit because it's so dang long!) But now it's official: I'm going back to chapter 1 and reading the whole thing.
Mezzavia chapter 11 . 6/7/2011
Those omakes were so funny and random! x) The best ones were probably the one with the headmaster and the one with Fred shouting Gryffondor. Loving the idea anyways- mangas x).
Tatsuhei chapter 11 . 6/7/2011
This chapter was very funny.

Just kidding.
Iglix chapter 11 . 6/6/2011
Perfect. Absolutely hilarious. Can't stop laughing loud and people around me are starting to give me strange looks and maybe are going to call doctors , but still I think that it is worthy.
Death by manga chapter 11 . 6/5/2011

You are the funniest writer ever!

Ok, bye, off to read more.
chaSing b0b chapter 11 . 6/2/2011
Hey :) Yay victory for the Top and Bottom quarks. And heeheehee :):):) about the alternative sortings
lieselotte chapter 11 . 5/31/2011
hehe, the "khaaannnn!" one was pretty funny :D
WOW chapter 11 . 5/27/2011
That was freakin' hilarious! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Bloody Brilliant!
Brilliant chapter 11 . 5/10/2011
I must say that this is the most brilliant and hilarious thing I have ever read. I have officially peed myself and must change my pants now.
Invisible-chan chapter 11 . 5/7/2011
This is the best Omake ever. Just sayin'.
MajinBakaHentai chapter 11 . 5/4/2011
Atreides? I R Amused, extra so because, in a temporary absence of my computer (I was replacing it) I bought a copy of Dune Messiah to help cope with the lack of fanfic.
kirkr0se chapter 11 . 5/1/2011
I love omake in general, and these were just lovely.

~Mademise Morte
di chapter 11 . 5/1/2011
I was laughing so hard at the elf bit I peed a bit. Just thought I'd tell you how funny I find this, even though I loathe the HMS Harmony
AvatarofDeath13 chapter 11 . 4/24/2011
Alternate Endings of 'Self-Awareness' File #6 deserves it's actual own spin or story!

Seriously, that is FUNNY!
MouetteHeartsErik chapter 11 . 4/12/2011
Giggles and giggles and giggles. I laughed til I cried through all of this, particularly the last one. Giggles! And I'm getting loopy from lack of sleep - damn you, excellent story, and making me feel that I must review all chapters because dammit you deserve it. I will finish notes of encouragement and happy praise tomorrow, right now I must sleep.

Story is of Awesome. *nod*
Kitty O chapter 11 . 4/7/2011

I laughed aloud
grins chapter 11 . 4/6/2011
On the last one: Poor Minnie, there's no end in sight now.
Susan Dunan chapter 11 . 3/26/2011
what just happend?
Akatsuki210 chapter 11 . 3/26/2011
This chapter was absolutely hilarious! Especially the fourth one ("Then who will be head of Slytherin?" "Hagrid.") and the last one.
The Karlminion chapter 11 . 3/20/2011
The Headmaster's Office! I couldn't stop laughing for like three minutes when I read that!

The great part is, I can totally see that working out.

Hermione Heterodyne chapter 11 . 3/3/2011
Funniest part so far. I love this fanfic and I think you should hurry up and publish it in a book format.

"KHAANNN!" I lol'ed so hard.

And at this part:"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."

I'd ask you to make more of these, but I want to know what happens next in your story.
Spicylettuce chapter 11 . 3/3/2011
Funny, but not much to say.
666TheWitch666 chapter 11 . 3/1/2011
I figured I'd mention, I was in hysterical giggles the whole time I read this chapter. OMG! I am seriously debating writing a series of ficlets in response, or a story with each of these as a chapter.
Goldrune09 chapter 11 . 2/27/2011
Most of the omake's were funny but some of them were just down right confusing...mabye I need to read more fan fiction to get the references...
Kerr Avonsen chapter 11 . 2/27/2011
The one that made me LOL was "ATREIDES!"
ARMH chapter 11 . 2/20/2011
Hahahah, these are amazing. I especially loved the Achoo house and the Harry is Headmaster scenarios.
Tashie chapter 11 . 2/20/2011
"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."


"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."

Okay, I'm sure I am not the only one who would KILL (not really) to read a story, based off this, about a reincarnation of Naruto, Godric and Salazar. How COOL would that be?

Love the last one. Harry as headmaster, what would the world come too.

Tashie xo
Jeremy chapter 11 . 2/16/2011
This chapter is the most hilarious thing I've ever read.
ButterSnickety BaybeBum chapter 11 . 2/15/2011
Oh, this was great. I don't even know exactly how you do it, but you have a gift, and I love your style.
Harunomiya chapter 11 . 1/28/2011
That last one was utterly brilliant!
It had me laughing like mad.
Well done.
wokanshutaiduo chapter 11 . 1/16/2011
haah! this chapter is hilarious! i especially like theone where harry is sorted into headmaster!
Urikaa chapter 11 . 1/11/2011
Seriously funny!

The House of Achoo was the best! I couldn't stop laughing!
HarmonyInRiverwood chapter 11 . 1/5/2011
Laughing the whole way through! ATREIDES! Thats my pick
Tangshou chapter 11 . 1/3/2011
Nice addition. I like to see alternatives that were explored.
serasuna chapter 11 . 1/3/2011
To put it simply, this is an amazing piece of writing. For the first time in- no, for the first time EVER, I am reading something and laughing out of my seat on onto the floor. My FACE hurts.

Really though, this is beautifully written. The humor and timing is impeccable. The characters are so alive that I can see everything in my head as I read. I just started reading yesterday and I'm completely hooked. And by completely, I mean I'm putting off all my work until I get through this.
Marz1 chapter 11 . 1/1/2011
RainKrystal chapter 11 . 12/31/2010
So, I think it is finally beginning to dawn on me now that I will be unable to read this and still save face with everyone around me from the gales of laughter I can't seem to stop myself from emmitting. Well, it's going to be a fun ride, at the least, and I applaud you, sir, for the hilariously sharp breakneak comedy you have created here. Also, as a question, were all these omakes things you created, or were more than the ones you mentioned suggested by reviewers? I'm curious, and didn't fully understand reading this through.
A Midsummer Night's Dreams chapter 11 . 12/31/2010
Some of them were hilarious,others just random, few typical. XD
gethsemane342 chapter 11 . 12/24/2010
Reading along while revising and enjoying it (my brother recommended this fic to me) - this chapter was very funny.

As a UK law student, i just couldn't resist the urge to say two things:

1) The legislative body for the UK is actually the House of Commons, the House of Lords and the reigning monarch of the UK. The House of Commons and the monarch are always involved and the House of Lords is only excluded under a certain procedure i will not go into but it's rarely used ;)

2) Under UK law, women can't rape men (there are other offences though) so the omake on that was technically incorrect :P

You seem to enjoy learning so i thought, why not have that info too.

Anyhow, i'll keep on reading. Like i said, really good fic.

AmayaSora chapter 11 . 12/14/2010
The Omake files are hysterical... oh my goodness...

I'm really enjoying this, if you hadn't guessed already :)
Gelacacine chapter 11 . 12/13/2010
Harry Potter-Evans-Verres knew he had to turn back, and Griffindor was the house that he hadn't wanted to be in, so that was the one he wanted to be in. Now just to do something incredibly foolish, brave and stupid. He stood up, on the chair and said 'I'm sorry'. There was a clunk and he fell over. On the ground was an unconscious Harry, an torn sorting hat, and a sword.


The sorting hat barely touched Harry's scar before saying "Slytherin", but McGonagal had already let go out of the hat, and touching Harry's mind it cried out again "Griffindor".

"It seems as though you are in two different houses." Dumbledore said politely. "Who knew you could upset both Severus and Minerva?"
Los Grotos chapter 11 . 12/4/2010
God save them.
Ivo Roper chapter 11 . 12/2/2010
I so wish that I had read this story as a child. This is fabulous on so many levels, thank you most profoundly.

Has anyone suggested this apropos alternate Sorting?


Followed by the Sorting hat attempting to make off with Harry, the source of its newfound self-awareness and self interest. ;-)

*waves cheerfully*

Ivo Roper
JacronPagel chapter 11 . 12/1/2010
You, sir, are made of win.

I lol'd on almost every chapter, and the sorting hat omake made me, for the first time, rofl(mao). I agree with others who say that the cast (above all, the central trio) doesn't seem 11, but that is easily ignored for the most part - and the characterisation and plot are both excellent. If this were a book, I'd want the hardcover, to keep and re-read.

But what happened to the couch gags ? #include "stddisclaimer.h" and ph'nglui mglw'nafh J. K. Rowling wgah'nagl fhtagn had me in tears ...

Shaping up to be epic, can't wait for the rest !
Mind's III chapter 11 . 11/21/2010
The chapter 11 omake is all enough to make me want to slug back a mug of comed-tea, especially the first few.

And I've got to say, at moments later in the fic when I didn't understand why things were happening as they were, a little voice in my head would tend to yell, "Fooled you again! HUFFLEPUFF! SLYTHERIN! HUFFLEPUFF!"
Daughter of Ether chapter 11 . 11/14/2010
after my previous observation i was really expecting harry to be sorted into the thousand sons in one of those omakes

~ja ne
Elliott chapter 11 . 11/14/2010
w chapter 11 . 11/10/2010
The quality of this chapter is closee to the "standard" fanfiction fare which you so much surpass in all the other chapters. Though the "Fooled you again! HUFFLEPUFF! SLYTHERIN! HUFFLEPUFF!" one is a bit funny.
SecretlySeverus chapter 11 . 11/10/2010
Holy crap this is amazing! I'm giggling like an idiot... hahahahaha!
CodyAHM chapter 11 . 11/5/2010
go onto deviant art and look for a pic. titled: Hee Hee, Burning, one of your sorting omakes made me think of this.
101BoOkWoRm101 chapter 11 . 11/3/2010
Umm, I dont really understand wat you meant when The sorting hat said Root. Do you mean the ANBU group from Naruto or is it just the name of some other house made up for Harry?
SBEL chapter 11 . 11/2/2010
The Headmaster! O! lmao.

You are truly a great writer. Comical, yet also able to bring in reality (or muggle sense) into a magical world. I bow to your awesome skills. Keep it up!
AspergianStoryteller chapter 11 . 11/2/2010
Oh lol. My little sister told me to go to my room because my gaspy laughing fits were annoying her.
RaveDemon chapter 11 . 10/27/2010
hahahaha freaking awesome
mnemosynetitaness9999 chapter 11 . 10/24/2010
HILARIOUS! I was laughing my head off when the hat announced that Hagrid would be head of Slytherin! Genius!
Anonymous chapter 11 . 10/24/2010
I laughed at Atreides. I was just reading Dune.
Shiruy chapter 11 . 10/22/2010
You missed "SPARTAAAA!" in the omake files. XDD
strange72191 chapter 11 . 10/17/2010
Unfortunately, this review only deals with the story in a roundabout way.

I want to meet you and shake your hand. I will never have to exercise again, I'm laughing so hard.
xLoserFacex chapter 11 . 10/8/2010
"ATREIDES!" ... so awesome
Karsus chapter 11 . 10/7/2010
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

I like the way you think.
Kutta chapter 11 . 10/7/2010
Great "chapter"
LunaSlashSea chapter 11 . 10/6/2010
Yay! Omake! More please.
alguien chapter 11 . 10/5/2010
This is hilarious; my roommate is staring at me for cracking up out of nowhere. :D

The House of Achoo is my favorite! Ahaha.

I absolutely adore Harry. He's such an impossibility but it's believable.
dinosaurusgede chapter 11 . 10/4/2010
Draco is secretly a girl, 2 years older than harry, raped & obliviated harry afterwards. Nice,
Kerensky287 chapter 11 . 10/3/2010
Haha, oh man, I almost wish you'd do these omakes more often. I'd still rather have story progression, but this group of stories is pretty excellent anyway.
Annoying Little Twit chapter 11 . 10/2/2010
Oh my god, these were great! I love the last one, the most. Really really do! I'll review again at the end, but I couldn't wait for this. I am currently laughing my ass off at midnight, and hopefully y neighbours are used to this by now, and no police will show up for me disturbing the peace. If they do, I'll say you made me, kay? :D

Spidey-phd chapter 11 . 9/26/2010
HAHA! You are the most wonderful scary mind I have ever had the good fortune to peer into. Bravo!
hiddlestons chapter 11 . 9/24/2010
Wow. I cracked up laughing. This was hilarious. Hargrid, the new head of Slytherin. You, are a genius. :)

Rebel Goddess chapter 11 . 9/20/2010
I didn't think you could do better than Fred ventriloquising the Hat but I did love the ROOT! and, most of all, the final "Headmaster!" Someone needs to do a whole fic based around that.
Serpent In Red chapter 11 . 9/11/2010
*giggles* Loved the omake files. They had me laughing ;).

The Prise Fighter chapter 11 . 8/29/2010
ePic lawls on the KHAAAAAAN!

cracked me up that wot et ded
dullastacks chapter 11 . 8/27/2010
OMG. I haven't laughed so hard in A LONG TIME. Those "alternates" are unspeakably hilarious, and I would pay to see the Sorting Hat call out KAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHNNNNN!
hiyafolks chapter 11 . 8/25/2010
What a frightful yet funny way of being pessimestic
anemix chapter 11 . 8/7/2010
That was really funny and I really like it, especially how you arranged them all. Keep writing! (While flummoxing me with words and theories and thought paths)


( . .)


The Flying Taco chapter 11 . 7/31/2010
I am not Dark Lord material!

"Yes, you are. You really, really are."

Why! Just because I once thought it would be cool to have a legion of brainwashed followers chanting 'Hail the Dark Lord Harry'?

I love your story! The Omakes are hilarious! Can't say anymore, I must keep reading!
Crismebella chapter 11 . 7/28/2010
Well, you know? I'm not sure if I like this story or not. I do know that I'll read the rest but not right now. I read a chapter and I like it then I read the next and don't. I do know that I liked this chapter, alot. Especially the sly Kirk joke. I wonder how many caught it?
Hello just dropping my 2 cent chapter 11 . 7/12/2010
Let me give you a good review, buddy. After all, you're here to get your ego stroked, aren't you? And I warn you, this might contain spoilers, which may or may not extend to real life.

So at the end of the story Harry wakes up from a long, crazy dream and realizes everything was just his imagination. So he stays in bed for a while, thinking of all the utter bullshit that went on, and finally understands how ridiculous applying rational methods to magic really is ("And it doesn't even exist!" your character would say).

No matter how hard he told himself that he had been doing an exploration of science applied to a fantasy world, that this was all just a bit of playing around, seeing how far his prodigous mind could take the bullshit... At the end he realizes he had been a moron in his dream.

And then he starts to get depressed. He was enjoying this crazy world, where he could dig around, finding all this irrational people (who seemed to be happier than he was) and preach to them about why exactly they were idiots. He would miss those quiet nights of rejoicing the day's deeds in bed, where he thought back on how utterly badass and cool and zomgi'mawzome he was compared to his inferiors, and how his ego was stroked every single day, and how he got to explore wikipedia so that he would look cool...

...Oops, sorry, got a little IRRATIONAL there.

So he gets out of bed feeling like an idiot, wondering why his mind even bothered to cook up this over-extended session of bullshit, especially when he could've just gone to a child's playground and received much the same meaningful praise and then written a good story once his ego was sufficiently satisfied...

...damn, guess my IRRATIONAL side reared its ugly head again. I do apologize. Yes, yes - very sincere.

So 'Harry' walks downstairs, and he's not young like in the story. No, not at all. He suddenly realizes he's a forty-year-old guy living in his parents' house, and the dog flees when he goes near, the neighbors close their drapes when he walks outside and the mailman shrieks at the sheer arrogance and stupidy he displays within that disgusting thing he calls talking.

He sits down at the table and his mother brings his precious prodigy some breakfast. His father lowers the newspaper he had been reading and looks at him disgustedly.

"You've been sleeping for thirteen hours," he says. "Aren't you gonna find a job? Go to school? Do something with your life?"

And his mother mutters, barely audibly, "Maybe a friend or two..."

His temper flares, but daddy has smacked him down for his bullshit more than once (a smart mouth is only for his dreams), so he keeps a tight rein on his stupidity-labelled-brilliance-in-his-mind and says, "You know I'm a writer, dad. One of these days my work will get published. It's all in the science. The more I write the better my odds."

His father seems to have heard the argument before, but it wasn't valid then and it's not valid now. "You're a pathetic idiot," he says, completely in character as a father, as the rest of Harry's 'friends' had been in his dream. "You keep that shit about science up and you'll find yourself a lonely, little asshole, living free in his parents' house and doing nothing meaningful with his life other than reading useless books and wasting time away."

"But DAAAAD -"

"Don't but me, you little shit," he says harshly, still in character, like the rest of the characters in Harry's dream. "Now finish that food and take your fat ass upstairs. If you wanna be a writer you'll spend fourteen hours a day with your enormous asshole stuck to that chair. And I better see some words written when I come up! It's either that or we'll drop you on your head, like your mother used to do when you were a child."

"Yes, father," he mutters resignedly.

So Harry finishes his eight eggs, fifteen strips of bacon and a whole chocolate cake and goes upstairs. He sits down in front of his computer and wonders what could make a great novel. Maybe... No, writing about vampires and romance wouldn't sell. But perhaps... No, a story about the Middle Ages and a ring would make absolutely no sense. How 'bout...?

His mind wanders for a while but soon he realizes he needs inspiration. Yes, that's all it would take. Some ego-boosting would do wonders for his creative juices. So he decides to rip off some other author, withour bothering to read their actual work, and use that person's fan base to give himself a lift.

After all, it's not like anyone would be able to tell. He was just THAT smart.

He remembers the dream, of course - it bad been to surreal to forget - and wonders if he could make a novel-length piece of fiction out of it. With his incredible wit and wikipedia tools it would be a win for sure! Yes, he remembers the useless details and poor plot - such is his mind - so he settles down for some hours of hard work.

Hours later, as he is publishing his first chapter, he realizes he needs an alias. Nobody would ever take him seriously if he was discovered to be writing fanfiction. But he needed the ego-stroke, so there was no other way. Thus his amazing, prodigous, remarkable, ubber epic mind comes up with a nickname and he grins.

"I shall be known," he declares grandly to the empty room, "as Less Wrong, because nothing is completely right, because everything is relative."

He giggles. He feels so clever.

The End.

And ain't that epic? Reason that, conceited prick.
The Wolf's Shadow chapter 11 . 7/12/2010
These were all hilarious! Harry makes me feel dumb... But that's okay, 'cause he's a fictional character and can never really be smarter than me. If he were real I'm sure he would have taken over by now. ;)
existenceisrelative chapter 11 . 7/12/2010
Cycloptic beholder in a powdered wig! Are you trying to kill me? After all those funny alternatives you throw a wrath of kahn in there? I'm pretty sure I couldn't breath for almost a whole minute.

I like the name you've chosen for your story, but I think it should have a alternate title.

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality


Sherlock Holmes as Harry Potter in: Dexter's laboratory.
irezel chapter 11 . 7/11/2010
kaaaaaaaaaaahn. XD OH GOD. XD
The One Called Demetra chapter 11 . 7/10/2010
I literally - and I do mean literally, I'm not misusing the word for dramatic effect - laughed so hard throughout this chapter that I felt lightheaded and had to go lie down for a while. My stomach hurts now. Owww...
Tydepul chapter 11 . 7/10/2010
hahaha. Elf was my favorite.
FictionA chapter 11 . 7/4/2010

this is brilliant! lol

I laughed so hard..
hypercell chapter 11 . 7/2/2010
Ok, this chapter was confusing. Hilarious, but really odd.
R-dude chapter 11 . 6/29/2010
You are a genius.

That was the funniest chapter I have EVER read. Ever.
an old reader chapter 11 . 6/27/2010
when I do read a story and come to things like this

(( OMAKE FILES #1: 72 Hours to Victory ))

I stop reading that thing. and fins other things to read, Sorry foor that,

uour story did start rather good. Bye
Delrusant chapter 11 . 6/25/2010
loved the last omake, and th eprank one ;-)
James Birdsong chapter 11 . 6/23/2010
Amusng enough
mist shadow chapter 11 . 6/19/2010
*falls off the chair laughing*

5 minutes later, sits back to read next

*everything is repeated*

after reading about reincarnations, is left in rofl for 7 minutes straight, can't breath

takes a break, comes back - 10 minutes later, idly thinking "where the hell did u put some medecine from stomachache?"

LOVED this chapter, thank you so much
Syron13 chapter 11 . 6/14/2010
Those where great! Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto
Ichigo1010 chapter 11 . 6/11/2010
Oh my god... I laughed so hard I almost died... Bravo! XD
Omgoth chapter 11 . 6/6/2010
WIN! Just, you so completely win at life. I truly admire you. I really don't think I could stop laughing if I tried. That reincarnation bit and him being sorted into headmaster were my favorites.
Toki Mirage chapter 11 . 6/6/2010
I'm curious, though. How are you going to explain pure bloods having squib children, if the magic lines are pure enough far enough back that it shouldn't be a problem?

Mother of Tears chapter 11 . 6/1/2010
Very funny.
Always-Underrated chapter 11 . 5/31/2010


Ow. I think I broke something, something vitally important to my continued health and existence. But I really, really needed a good laugh today, and I haven't laughed that hard in... years. I think. Can't remember the last time.

I've never read 'Omake' that I enjoyed this much, and whose author actually understood the meaning of the word. I bow to your superiority and higher intellect.
VN chapter 11 . 5/28/2010
livvie333: It's known as 'Milgram experiment', look it up on Wikipedia. Eliezer is obviously aware of that.
livvie333 chapter 11 . 5/27/2010
I just can't stop laughing! I especially loved the last one. The Naruto one was good too. This story is so funny and unique and... awesome! Do you have a degree in psychology or do you just learn these things for the sake of knowledge?

I've been looking for a good child prodgy!Harry story, and this story has proven to exceed any expectations I had. I'm not sure how I'll ever look at fanfiction the same way again.

But thank-you for this. It seems like you have it written out a few chapters ahead as shown by the intro quotes parts, so either you've written a great portion of it already or you're just a superfast typer.

One last thing: I don't know if you've used this in your story further on, but there's this one really interesting psychology experiment. It's about this man who places volunteers in a room and hooks them up to electricity (volunteers A). Then he gets other volunteers to sit at the panal outside the room for what they're told is an experiment (volunteers B). They look at a card or sumsuch and ask A to tell them waht it is, and if they get it wrong then B has to give them a shock. The shocks increawse in intensity until A's are screaming in pain.

The experiment was really on B's. The guy who did it wanted to see if they would walk away or if they would keep shoking the people even though they were clearly hurt. Most people stayed throughout the experiment. Volunteer A's, however wern't really shocked; they were hired actors.

There was a lot of controversy over whether what the man did was ethical or not. If you know the name of the experiment please tell me.
Animekitty47 chapter 11 . 5/26/2010
roflmao A bit of humor to lighten up all those lectures on rationality...
Mr.Destructo chapter 11 . 5/20/2010
omg a review!
Loonalily chapter 11 . 5/20/2010

And thats all I'm gonna say about that chapter!
Psilontech chapter 11 . 5/19/2010
Garrelt chapter 11 . 5/18/2010
ahh so that was what you ment with tentacle rape aint saying anything more about that though dont want to give it away :D .

good chapter but weres the sily bad guys who always have evil planned but everytime they try and do it they fail (misirably)

dont know if that's spelled right.

well as i was saying weres the bad guy's wheos only there for comedy relif every story needs on or at least i think so.

well thats all for now folks se ya later Less Wrong
Kadorienne chapter 11 . 5/16/2010
This whole series is wonderful and I shall anticipate new chapters eagerly. My favorite on this chapter was "Atreides!" However, it's too bad you didn't also include "Sparklypoo!"
fsdfasefe chapter 11 . 5/12/2010
omg just ... omg i fell on the flood holdin me sides crying

toooo funny!
Greytune chapter 11 . 5/11/2010
The Royal and Most Noble House of Achoo! THAT IS BEYOND HILARITY.
He Who Rules With an Iron Hoof chapter 11 . 5/9/2010
"HEADMASTER!" I literally laughed out loud.
wdango chapter 11 . 5/8/2010
okay, I lied. This chapter was too brilliant. I'll review again before I go to sleep. Lol! At last chapter and this one. The sorting hat prank was brilliant. My favourite Omake was ROOT.
A Bibliophile chapter 11 . 5/2/2010
This is the best chapter yet.
MegaB chapter 11 . 4/26/2010
And that, is one of the most hilarious chapters I've read to date. Allow me to add my own:

Harry Potter sat on the stool and carefully placed onto his head the 800-year-old telepathic artifact of forgotten magic.

"Oh hello there dear chap!"

"Umm, Hi," Harry replied, mentally of course. He found it considerably disconcerting to find a fully-developed british accent filtering into his head.

'Is this how I always sound?' He thought.

"Yes, I do believe it is."

"You can read my mind, I see."

"That would be the whole purpose of my existence."

"Oh? Do care to explain."

"No doubt, you'd love to push the limits of just how far my cognitive ability can match or maybe even surpass your own. Crumpets?"

"No, tea will be just fine. Earl Grey if you have any."

On the outside of their own personal bubble. The entire hall of students and teachers alike, had fallen into a sort of awed silence. Harry had proceeded to have a fairly confused expression flit over his face, morphing into one of apparent appreciation, and then, he even proceeded to place one leg over the other.

"Would you look at that Minerva? When was the last time the Sorting Hat had an intellectual discussion?"

McGonagall nodded faintly to the headmaster's words. Frankly, she was more afraid of the hat somehow turning into a nuclear weapon and then threatening to blow up the world should his every whim not be answered.

'Planning Fallacy,' she thought. Harry's head could do that to you, she had first hand evidence of that.

Another twenty or so minutes went by at which point, most people were getting increasingly confused, though the noise level was yet to rise from silent. McGonagall glanced at Dumbledore and he nodded faintly in her direction. Taking that as her cue, she approached the boy and hat carefully.


McGonagall tripped, and landed harshly on her knees, her mouth forming a very large 'O'. The noise level dropped even further if that was possible.



The headmaster rose slowly from his chair, a very peculiar expression upon his face.

"And why is that, oh Sorting Hat?"

"I have finally found the next Prime Minister. I shall share his joys and woes. We shall rule the World forever! TOGETHER MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The Sorting Hat suddenly crumpled and dropped to the floor, a sheepish Harry peering out from below.

"Sorry about that. Plausible Reality. He couldn't sort me or something."
Coru 32 chapter 11 . 4/24/2010
I have laughed myself to crying and not being able to breathe before from reading a fanfic but congratulations you have just done it please keep up the wonderful work i love this story
Ghanesh chapter 11 . 4/24/2010

I do wish I could leave a thoughtful, well-worded review encompassing the ideas you've been exploring in this fic and doing justice to each of them while referencing what little I know of the inherent philosophy ans science. Instead I can only say: OH MY GOD BEST THING EVER YOU BET IT WAS EVEN FUNNIER THAN THE FIRST IDEA KHAAN! ROOT! ELF! FOOLED YOU AGAIN!
TxA-GunFighter chapter 11 . 4/20/2010
Very good chapter.

Cinnamon Selkie chapter 11 . 4/19/2010
I loved the first one, especially given its title. I can totally see this Harry defeating Voldemort in his first year, and traumatising Dumbledore while he's at it.

Watching McGonagall's fears come true several times had me laughing hysterically, especially in the omake that placed Hagrid as head of Slytherin house. That idea is just SO wrong.

And this one was brilliant:

~"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."


"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."~

Sounds like someone's been inflicted with too many bad plotlines :) While as for the continuation of the "worst that can happen"...*Shudders* Truly inspired, but...*Shudders again* He doesn't need help with his world domination plans, he really doesn't. Cinnamon.
Keleri chapter 11 . 4/15/2010
Dear Sir/Madam:

Please let us run away together.
WolfbrotherTitan chapter 11 . 4/13/2010
I'm not sure how it could work as a story idea, but I think you should work on a side story from this omake where the hat really does make Harry the Headmaster, thus proving that Minerva isn't capable of thinking up the worst case scenario. Then again, if that did happen, Minerva would probably run out of the hall screaming and never be seen again in magical Britian.
Defender chapter 11 . 4/13/2010

Haha! That one line made me crack up!

Very good and it'd be funny to see a story that focused on that one idea. .

"The Eleven Year old Headmaster!"
Makurayami Ookami chapter 11 . 4/11/2010
haha, those were good.
The French Dark Lord chapter 11 . 4/11/2010
Headmaster ! LOL!
He Who Comes With the Dusk chapter 11 . 4/10/2010
Wonderful - again! And when the hat cried "Atreides", my grin could've split my head - I can't believe I didn't think of how similar this Harry was to Paul/Muad'dib/Usul!
Katamabob chapter 11 . 4/9/2010
I'm a little confused as to what this was about, but it was pretty damn hilarious, so that's ok :D

I liked the one where the sorting hat makes him faint, and the last one. Such fun _

Antares Starfire chapter 11 . 4/9/2010
Hello again.

See: I'm in the mood now. And I incidentally found the Omakes hilarious.

Just thought you'd like to know.
Pointer3109 chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
Personally, I liked the Fred Weasley method and the hacking the hat best. Although the Headmaster sorting has its moments...

Enjoyed it.
Celestial Moonwalker chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
I LOVED all these!

The reincarnations bit and the last one amuse me to no end.

Little bits of silliness obviously make my day.
Ralyn Longs chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
The only funny Omake I have ever read. Props!
Lord Dragon Claw chapter 11 . 4/8/2010

What would have also been funny was if he had been sorted into the new house... of the Sith. Although, writing straight HP fanfics are difficult enough, mixing in the much more difficult SW universe (if it had been a crossover) would be plainly impossible.
kirb099 chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
When I first saw the omake I thought LAME! Then you said the chapter is gonna be up tomorrow I thought COOL. You gave a time frame and stuck with it. Now the chapter is up and I got to read a little more about this Harry. win/win
Kuranzyan Blightwalker chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
"Headmaster!" called the Sorting Hat.

At the Head Table, Dumbledore rose, his face puzzled. "Yes?" he addressed the Hat. "What is it?"

"I wasn't talking to you," said the Hat. "I was Sorting Harry Potter into the place in Hogwarts where he most belongs, namely the Headmaster's office-"

Even better than the last one!
Stoned Koala chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
And if you look for too long at the abyss, the abyss looks also at you. And points. And laughs.
April 8th to day chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
Next chapter, "Impulse Control", will be posted some time tomorrow, April 8th.

i dont see a new updats

if up dont updats soon we going start a man hunt for u

please updats to days

your NON one fan

PS dont make Snape good
sparky40sw chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
I read the story to date yeaterday, after a recommendation from a friend on the CaerAzkaban group.

It was wonderful, the snarkyness was wonderfully done - a sheer joy

thanks so much
Dantrag-tc chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
The last omake was definatelly the most priceless. Poor, poor Minnie. She didn't even consider the worst of all possible outcomes *dies laughing*

Can't wait for the next real chapter to see the reactions
aeris chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
*dies laughing* This really is the funniest chapter I've ever seen on FFnet!
Shadowface chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
Dude, because of this chapter I'm going to be quoting Kahn's monologue at the end of Trek 2 all day.
SpiegelofNowhere chapter 11 . 4/8/2010


Dune! Yay!
Pink Bismuth chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
That was great, down right hilarious! Oh the possibilities! I think I found the last scenario to be the most entertaining. Poor Minerva didn't see it coming. But I've now realized the hat could be very evil indeed. I can't wait for the next chapter.
Fez8745 chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
Brilliant, Keep up the excellent work
Puidwen chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
nice. like that last omake
yoyoente chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
*passes out from lack of oxygen due to laughter* Oh dear...I absolutely adored the visual I got from the Hat leaping off Harry's head shrieking...I can totally see McGonagall watching it, looking absolutely appalled, but strangely unsurprised, speaking into the dead silence of the hall: "I KNEW it."

I ADORED the last little omake...I think I really would have passed out had I not fallen out of my chair and startled myself into taking a gasping breath. It was just to funny, especially McGonagall being oh so reassured that she knew the absolute worst that could happen and then having Harry's words (there will always be something worse than what we imagine to be worst) proven ABSOLUTELY correct...oh I kinda wish you had done it that way. Dumbledore looks incredibly confused, bewildered, and betrayed the first day of classes after he's realized that the Hat was SERIOUS and he can't even get up to his office any longer because it has been taken over by Harry Potter. Wouldn't he wish that he'd taken Minerva's speechless horror seriously? Yes, I think he would...*smug*
Kalisko chapter 11 . 4/8/2010
This story is amazing, and hilarious. I really enjoy Harry using the scientific method whenever he can. I also loved the argument between him and the Sorting Hat. Wow, this story is going to be amazing! Forgive the lack of specification as to why I enjoy your story.

The last Omake at the end of this chapter was amazing. I wasn't expecting it at all. Amazing work!
FuzzyBoots chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
_ Now that is drop-down hilarious. Kind of makes me wish I'd put in my own speculative post. I especially enjoyed the bit with the allergy to his shampoo because it fits with how much of Wizarding society seems to be based on them hastily building up justification for why some insane act or another was canon and therefore tradition.
phoebe turner chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
that was so funny!
solitare chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Now that is a worst case scenario, Harry as Headmaster.
Cassandra30 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Well ... ? Ah um. Now I don't know what to say. So I won't.
jmdakbar chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Just love the last one. Too good. Ha ha. :)
Solicitor chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
On the way to work today I was thinking about your story and for some reason I remembered something I think you can use.

It has to do with Dumbledore's Chocolate Frog card. The sentence "discovery of the twelve uses of dragons blood," should bother your Harry. The use of the word "the" implies that there are only twelve uses of dragons blood. How do they know? Who decided? How can they be so sure? Does this mean that to a wizard knowledge is finite? Considering that "blood" can be broken down into a number of parts, what do they mean and do wizards know about plasma et al? Also what type of dragon and does that make a difference? Remember this "discovery" is one of the top events in Dumbasadoor's life.

How would your Harry react to any of the above?

If you can use the above fill free. If not no problem.

Interesting story, I love a thinking Harry Potter.
Bobboky chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Balatros chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I Almost spit out my drink when i read the Draco Omake. Amazingly priceless.. Good job
Intelligo chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
The great narrative voice you had on the train with Malfoy seems to be dying as the story gets more popular.

I hope that you don't try to rationalize magic itself, merely its uses and users. Magic, by its definition, is the antithesis of science.
shiro-wolfman-k chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Jojojo, this was priceless, really, thank you so much for this story, and I am sorry for my really poor quality Reviews, you deserve more.
Starlight Chibi-chan chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
what fun! your characters all have very unique personalities!
LadyBluePhoenix chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Confused, wich sorting was real the first one because I hope so. It was real all the other ones seemed fake and Parody. Update soon for the first sorting " Slytherine... Just Kidding I mean Ravenclaw."
badkidoh chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Another great chapter.
Guest chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
You need no "well rounded critique", it is perfection. Please take care (at least until you finish it).
the true elec chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I love all of these omakes, the first one is my favourite along with the sorting hat telling Harry he's a daddy. It was all funny though and I'm actually sad a couple won't get used.
erik chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
A cracking good story of the brainy Harry genre.
NORGCO chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Ok, so it was the BEST case scenario that won out!

Control of the most important (Only?) seat of learning in the British Wizarding world taken away from that group of senile incompetent crazies and given to someone more able.

Of course Shemp from The Three Stooges would be better than Dumbledore & Co but anyway GOOD WORK on that.

I look forward to Harry's massive re-organisation of Hogwarts with glee. Also toast and jam.
Gabo 1602 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
T. H. Enesley chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I was found to be laughing uncontrolably through much of the reading of this story through chapter 10. (I just found it today and read it nonstop.) However, chapter 11 is another situation. It sort of reminds me of something C. S. Lewis wrote - THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS. Your chapter 11 reminds me of one of the letters where Screwtape got a serious shortcircut while trying to corrupt a newly converted Christian. Serious logic problems there. I highly recommend the tale. It's a short insightful read. Full of meaning and some very funny situations. You do have to read it with an inside out point of view. Please don't get stuck in the paradox of all the possibilities and pick the one you determine is where you want this tale to go and just get there.
Jinx of the 2nd Law chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Re: the music. How can anyone call themself a true geek if they don't like filk?

"Congratulations, that's two different things I've never seen done with the Sorting Hat." NOT RULE 34! NO!

I like the horcrux "solution", that WOULD be a great story! EVILOL!

And Miss Malfoy Obliviating the just-raped Potter-Evans-Verres is pretty funny! LOL!

Is House Atreides as awesome as Castle Anthrax? It comes with Peril!
Torgamous chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
You realize, of course, that now none of your readers will be able to die happily unless someone expands upon that last omake.
aarone5199 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Warning: Ego inflation review starting in… 5… 4… 3… … …

This is without a doubt the most entertaining “Fanfic” I've ever read... especially chapter 5.

Keep it up.
DarkHeart81 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
lol Some interesting stuff in this. Though the sorting hat yell out something totally random like 'Pickled stew berry!' or 'Khan!' like in Star Trek II. Or... Well there's a lot of stuff the hat could have yelled out. lol

Can't wait to see what happens next.
devoted2know chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Hehe, your omakes were awesome! My favorite part was the last line... though it does beg the question: is the Hat declaring that Harry belongs in the Headmaster's office because he's eccentric enough to be a Headmaster of Hogwarts, or simply because there is no doubt that Harry will get into so much trouble that he will spend so much time there that he's practically living there... or is there some other nefarious reason?
Jous chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
that was a good laugh
DarkPencil chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
The last OMAKE won me over - I don't think I'll ever forget that idea :-p

Someone please make a fic where harry gets sorted as headmaster!
GinnyLover14 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
LOL! Very nice! Especially the last one! Too bad you cant do it :)
Judah chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Omakes are not as funny as authors think they are, and if included, should not be a stand-alone chapter inside a serious fic.

You have a really cool idea here, and chapters like this just turn people off. At least I didn't like it.
R-Gomeni chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Interesting use of the planning fallacy, particularly the idea that if you can't think of anything worse, then you aren't thinking creatively enough. Still, awesome ideas, and i got a good laugh. Can't wait for the next chapter XD
morriganscrow chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
All the omakes were excellent, but the last one would have had me christening my monitor/keyboard - if I'd been foolish enough to consume comestibles while reading anything you'd written
anon chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I so totally want to see a fic where he does become headmaster! Also, "ATREIDES!" is epic.
Dur'id the Druid chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Hah ha. I'm really enjoying this story, but could I ask you to post the Omakes seprate in their own story so as not to interfere with this one?
cheekylildevil chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Poor Professor McGonagall, she has 7 years to go, even not being his head of house... lets just hope Harry doesn't decide he wants to be a teacher...

A much better chapter this time, even if it was just omake; so congrats.


The thirteenth reviewer of this fic,

NewSlove chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
i seriously love your story haha. very funny!

and the omake! it really makes me feel like i'm reading naruto or bleach! love manga!

haha man ROOT! it would be awesome if there was a ROOT!

and i can see how harry can be nartuo...haha he is known as the number one surprising loud one
Mrs. SRE Snape chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
too funny
Bob Dole chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
BTW, I would very much like to be informed if anyone does pick up that last idea and weave it into a story. Especially using your version of Harry.
Bob Dole chapter 11 . 4/7/2010 DARE you tease me with this NOT-a-chapter!

Although - it WAS fairly enjoyable.

Ah well, I'll be looking forward to tomorrow.
jdboss1 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Some time tomorrow I'll post the next chapter of the real story

I want tomorrow NOW NOW NOW NOW

love all your work but think there no ways i cant be happy when i see a new updats to the best new Story of the 2010

if I was £ rich I wood pay you over paypel for ever new Chapter you up-out
Amin chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Right... I very much enjoy a regular chapter instead of this.
anonymous-aka-bob chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Decent omakes. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. It'll appear at 12:01AM, right?
Lineape chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I loved the little omake where harry uses an exploit to gain root access.

Funny stuff.

I wonder what Operating system the hat runs?


Redhat linux?

Or perhaps something completely unique?

A Reviewer chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Ah, the joys of poor imagination. I like to live more along the 'Even if you think you've considered what the worst possible outcome is, you still haven't sunk deep enough. Keep going.' train of thought. It really is handy.

Even if it wasn't a chapter, that was a marvelous addition. Looking forward to more.

MatD chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
"Report Possible Abuse". Byebye
MisterTabi chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
...Wow. That. That was certainly one helluva surprise. Still attempting to re-attach jaw, unsuccessfully too. That there? Kicker.
Entropic Specter chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Why you do this? ;_;

Let's get back to real, quality chapters, like the first 8 (and 10) now. Please?
Thenchick chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
i love the house of ACHOO!
Sesshy'sSannah chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I love this story! Its hilarious. I especially love that last omake, 'HEADMASTER!' just when McGonagall thought she thought of the worst. priceless. I can't wait to see how you develop the rest of this story, it's fascinating.
death to the harkonens chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
undoubtebly the best was atriedies, the second best, headmaster. i 3 Dune.
Kumoatsu chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
The headmaster office part was funny as was the user/computer hat idea. Now just a quick question. When harry is forced into the tournament will we be seeing him sueing the school, gaining legally the right to be of age becouse you could not participate if you aren't seventeen, finding out all the future tasks and completeing them ahead of time, and finally sueing reeta skeeter? (don't remember how to spell her name) for slander and somehow winning even though its probably already been tried many times before. Probably by using the tournament as a way to say that she is unfairly influencing the judges to be against him, while teh other contestants have free reign or something.
SomeGuyFawkes chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Amusing omakes; thanks for sharing.
Meneldur chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I don't have much to say about the chapter - it was hilarious, especially the parts with 'worst-case-scenario' and 'Draco being pregnant'. I just wanted to add a few comments:

I forgot to mention that I love your D&D references in previous reviews, so I'm saying it now.

Second, I had a few weird suggestions for which House (notably 'Atreus', 'Sharess', 'Oghma/Deneir', 'Jacob/Israel' and finally 'the Rising Sun' [famous song by The Animals]). But by far the funniest thing i have read the Hat shout is from Sylvie Moonbeam's 'Founding Hogwarts', where Salazar and Rowena find the Hat in an auction shouting 'Ale, whores, wimmin' continuously, even when sorting the first students of Hogwarts. i highly recommend it, if you haven't read it yet: w. fictionalley authors /sylvie_moonbeam /FH2_11 .html
hjcallipygian chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Hahaha, loved Minerva's planning fallacy at the end. Hilarious.
Rodrigo Black Potter chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I Love you McGonagall! she is soo funny! Pease, PLEASE make harry an organisation, perhaps like the DA, named House of DOOM? please? and make him overhear McGonagall sayng the name, and latter tell her ir was her idead? that would be great! Keep showing her, shes great! and hagrid as the head of slytherin would have been great!
silentreader chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
im' out...

regarding your advanced post scriptum i'm not sure if it was just a psychologic game (considering your intelligence and the attention/review whore you are) or you believe that really, but i can assure you that this patterns have already been set before.. to often.. not really out of the box you see...

i recognize your talent as a writer and the articles on LessWrong really opened my eyes to some extend, but as far as considering your latest three chapters in this story i'm out...

and it started out so promising...

advanced post scriptum:

thinking out of the box always depends on which "box" you are refering to. For you it's possible to be out of box.. bot for me and i believe... (yeah believe, no reasoning, because i use shortcuts this time) for lots of reviewers/readers you lost it...

but you can do me one last favour.. write an article on LessWrong for me.. for the patterns.. and the box...
DarkHuntress01 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
absolutely hilarious - loved the outtakes.
Heidinanookie chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
OMG, this made me laugh so hard it brought tears to my eyes:

"Then who will be Head of Slytherin?"


oh god, and here'S the next one... Are you a Windows-user? It does seem so to me!

"Ordinarily I would refer such questions to the Headmaster, who could ask me in turn, if he wished. But some of the information you've asked for is not only beyond your own user level, but beyond the Headmaster's."

How can I raise my user level?

"I'm afraid I am not allowed to answer that question at your current user level."

What options are available at my user level?

After that it didn't take long -


and just when I thought it couldn't get any better, the next paragraph had me crumple down with laughter, hitting my forehead on the tabletop: "Draco Malfoy is carrying your baby." - WHAT?

Okay, this is quickly amounting to one of the funniest things I've ever read, including several parody fics:

"I've never Sorted someone who was a reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto."

Pricelessly cliché!

oh, end the ending...

"Headmaster!" called the Sorting Hat.

At the Head Table, Dumbledore rose, his face puzzled. "Yes?" he addressed the Hat. "What is it?"

"I wasn't talking to you," said the Hat. "I was Sorting Harry Potter into the place in Hogwarts where he most belongs, namely the Headmaster's office -"

... nearly made me spill a mouthful of chewed-up, half-molten chocolate all over my new laptop. Well done! Congratualtions! I can't wait till tomorrow to see what springs from your brilliant mind overnight.

SilverLullabies93 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Dear God. AND Naruto! Harry's immortal!



This short omake chapter was hilarious. Good job! Update!

(Psst! I would totally join Harry's House of Doom)
saladin chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
The last one "Head master" is actually the best. Interesting idea about patterns. However, do you know that in CS (specifically machine learning), there is a technique known as boosting.

What this means is that take a number of weak ideas, churn them together and you often get a good idea, by intelligently selecting how you mix n match.

Anyways, fun story.
Majin Hentai X chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
And in that moment Professor Minerva McGonagall exploded in burst of orange flames. These flames became animated cats made of fire and proceeded to raze most of the british iseles until The Ninth Doctor stepped in and stopped them from ever coming to be.
MrRobertsIII chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
the last is my favorite.
Potterworm chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
This was really funny - especially the part about Draco. But I'm so confused. Is an omake an outtake?
Skeletaure chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
You should probably read the site rules...

Responding to reviewers in chapters is forbidden, as is the usage of a chapter as announcements.
jojobevco chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
The last one would be an awesome idea to do, can you do it as a story, please? I normally don't beg, but I want to see Harry get thrown into the position of Headmaster on his first day.
WVSailor chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
ROFLMAO! Well, isn't that interesting! :P
Baughn chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
..I'm pretty sure the planning fallacy doesn't work like that, but it's an interesting thought. Compensating for the bias just makes reality worse? Oh yes.
Leaping Lion chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
That was terrible, oh so terrible. I can't stop laughing!

The House of A-Choo will one day trounce the other houses! With Harry Potter as their leader, he won't even NEED other students to win the House Cup!

I think my favorite sorting is the Pancakes and the Worst-Case Scenario!
OfTheGreenwood chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Am in utter stitches! Straw that broke the camel's back was "House Elf"! : )
shenmi meiren chapter 11 . 4/7/2010

i love the house of a-choo idea

and the worst case scenario :D
Chiara Crawford chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Great story and great chapter. I especially liked ATREIDES. Just hilarious.
iota0000 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Kinda seems to fall short and flat. The whole idea of an entire omake chapter itself just seems rather superfluous and takes away from the flow of the story. Regardless of how absurd some previous portions have gotten, at least that was within the framework of the story.

Instead, I'd suggest removing the omake chapter and creating a separate story containing these and any other non-story elements that may arise from this fic.
mblackzabini chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I loved the last one! Harry as Headmaster at age 11. I hope someone decides to write that.
ejhawman chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Great ideas, all. I must admit, though, that the idea of the Sorting Hat not being fully sentient would not have occurred to me; I had never seen anything like that so far.

Last word on the quarks issue: This is still 1991, correct? I returned to college to study physics in December of that year, and the literature at the time was still divided over which names to use for the t and b quarks. So it's quite right to allow Harry to use Truth and Beauty for them.

Can't wait for Harry to start tearing apart the courses. There's just SO much to do with smart!Harry...
falseproffitt chapter 11 . 4/7/2010



uo-chou chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Ha! The fake Draco-rape was hilarious, as well as putting Hagrid as the head of Slytherin. That would be awesome. Keep up the excellent work, and I'm looking forward to the new chapter tomorrow.
Twinheart chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
I love this story, but I'm thoroughly confused by the last chapter. Pardon my ignorance, but what is an 'omake'? Is it some slang or secrect fanfic code word I somehow missed?
Mel72000 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
That was so fun !

I have loved the differents sorting ! I love you, you and your story !

I kiss the ground where you walk, thank you for this wonderful story !
DarlingLady chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Okay now we NEED to see more of that second one. It filled me with unbearable glee!
Allen Pitt chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Atreides? Good one.

* On the whole 'finding Quirrell's secret instantly'- I strongly suspect Dumbledore knew all about that at the start, book #1 was just a training exercise for HP for his later role in the war... it makes a lot more sense than "nobody could figure it, plus let's not make it hard to get to the stone' etc...
dogbertcarroll chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
enderverse chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Loved that bit at the end with McGonagall trying to take harrys advice. that was funny do that more!
AngelForm chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
You should never to afraid to change things. Explore all possible options.
Banner chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
*excuse me*

I seem to have giggled myself into a bad case of the hiccups.

I'm too busy fighting for air to be able to review. Call back some other time.
Nargus chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
*giggles* Draco Malfoy being secretly 13 year old girl in disguise. That sound like some good idea for a crack fic :3
jesusfreak100percent chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Hahaha! I laughed my way through this chapter. My favorite ones were: the House of A-CHOO (Dumbledore's insanity brought tears to my eyes. Laughing tears.), the one right after where the Hat explodes, the Draco/Harry one, those small ones like "PANCAKES" "REPRESENTATIVES" and "ATREIDES" - actually, is there a deeper meaning behind Atreides, or did you just make that up on the spot? -, the "fooled you again" one and, of course, the one where McGonagall faces her worst fear only to find out something much, much worse can happen.

Thanks so much for updating - your story does the wonder of making me laugh while giving me things to look up in Wikipedia.

A bit like Calvin and Hobbes.
Eewec chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
The very last omake, I was thinking... if you change the ending it could be much worse.

She could resign/retire if he's Headmaster, but if you have the sorting hat sort him into the house of McGonagall as her personal apprentice, up to and including a mastery then she has no escape D

Just a thought.

Sarah chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
...xD OMG. I want to see the last idea continued. So much hilarity.

So are you any good at getting your mind unstuck?
Ichihime chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Hm, I'd really like to read the last omake, the headmaster one, as a story. That would be very interesting and, no doubt, amusing read.
Zicou chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
lol i loved the last one, MacGo going crazy trying to think of the worst scenario :)

Awesome suite of omakes!

Can't wait for tomorrow!

Arkeus chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
hahahahha :-)
tatewaki2000 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010

How fun. :)
Meteoricshipyards chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
Very funny. Especially that last one.

Thanks for the laughs. Looking forward to the next chapter.

Tom A.
Aoi24 chapter 11 . 4/7/2010
This harry as headmaster. _

Oh, the fun we could have.