Reviews for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Duaghter of Apollo chapter 16 . 6/17
I can think of even more examples... but alas, they must not be heard by sensitive people.
TreacleToad chapter 16 . 6/11
finally a disclaimer where I get the reference LOL
Vactican chapter 16 . 6/2
WitchOfTheOriginals chapter 16 . 5/21
I literally laughed out loud. Some context I’m high af and on the toilet rn. Three way wedding
geranim0enimino671 chapter 16 . 4/15
of course voldie would take rein in quirrels body. he always wanted to be a teacher lol. he's seeding dissent into the kids heads already... I have no idea where the story will go, lol! am excited to read along!
Igniferroque chapter 16 . 4/9
I’m reading a lovely story about an older HP who frets about having followers, minions and any resemblance to the Dark Lord. He is the guardian to a younger, female HP who has plans for world domination and who looks forward to becoming an adult so she can have her first minions and dragons as pets. In delightful contrast, your HP asks directly how he can get minions. His inadvertent move to the dark side is fun to watch.

As an aside, I believe the answer to his question is calling 1-800-HENCHMEN. At least, that’s what I saw in a movie once.
MulticoloredFlame chapter 16 . 3/13
Hmmm... I think Harry is starting to see just how warped his mind is (which is not necessarily a bad thing). Also, very, very ominous message at the end there. Who is that voice? At first I thought it was Harry back in time bc of the time turner, but it clearly isn't. So who said/gave Harry the message "wrong, don't bad idea?"
Guest chapter 16 . 1/6
Best writing and plot logic I've ever seen on this website. You paint such wondrous colors with your words.
Red chapter 16 . 10/27/2021
Well this is interesting. Quirrel has a spine and he's clever. Praising "intent to kill" , citing the killing curse as an obvious solution to most dangerous creatures and training kids to use violence on eachother on command. In his FIRST LESSON!

And quirrel points ofcourse, do anything you can to please professor quirrel. Helping eachother doesnt sound sinister does it.
JessicaL1963 chapter 16 . 10/6/2021
Quirrell was actually in Ravenclaw, not Slytherin.
yochan123 chapter 16 . 8/11/2021
If, as an adult wizard, you find yourself incapable of using the Killing Curse, then you can simply Apparate away! Likewise if you are facing the second most perfect killing machine, a Dementor. You just Apparate away!"

He’s a good professor

Though the last part confused me greatly
Caramelized chapter 16 . 7/12/2021
I'm working from the theory that this is a time-travel fix-it... not just an AU where a few variables change (like Harry's parents)... because of the nudges. Find Hermione. Don't go talk to Quirrell. Seems like someone reaching back from the future to re-do things, hopefully for the better.

And then the stuff about how Harry acts like someone who's experienced trauma... except that he doesn't remember any trauma. Then in his confrontation with Neville's bullies, and in answer to Quirrell's questions, he doesn't answer like a kid. He answers like Harry Potter, highly traumatized war veteran.

I'm so curious to find out how this all ties together. & This chapter was especially fun.
Chara chapter 16 . 6/12/2021
Knowledge is important if it has a practical use.
Eliella45 chapter 16 . 5/5/2021
Oh poor Hermione...loved the chapter though
Luna L chapter 16 . 3/12/2021
Professor Quirrell is fun.
bibliopuff chapter 16 . 2/16/2021
i— don't know what to say, this chapter makes me speechless, but also laughing my brain out
anon chapter 16 . 2/14/2021
I feel like I'm going insane trying to read this story. I literally understand what all the words and sentences all make up, but this story literally makes zero percent sense. I'm scrolling through comments and threads, and everyone seems to understand what's going on, but I just don't. Literally, I have no idea what the author is writing. None of what the author writes makes sense. Harry Potter is a story of schoolchildren at a boarding school who do magic. Not weird philosophical bullshit. I mean philosophical bullshit is fine to me if it's interesting, it's fanfiction after all, you do random shit. But I literally don't understand the plot at all. It's completely random bullshit, for 600,000 words. I genuinely do not get it. I genuinely do not understand what made the author write 600,000 random words that pieced together make zero sense. Why is this so popular? I'm genuinely so confused. The plot makes zero sense. The characters aren't interesting. People are saying that the appeal of this is it's humor and philosophy. I've found nothing that funny though? And the philosophy doesn't really make any sense to me? Oh, this was written by an AI researcher and theorist. This makes zero sense to me.
Eye chapter 16 . 12/24/2020
Geesus, I just feel out fo bed reading this and remembered it isn't actually reality. I'm captivated. This is brilliant, elegant writing, very absorbing.
Smartyul chapter 16 . 12/9/2020
This Quirell is amazing
Tyfli barda chapter 16 . 5/21/2020
This is suppose to be drama/humor, yet it feels like neither combined with emotional roller coasters and over-expositions CAPS-LOCK INDUCING SCREAMING that makes my head hurt from reading. The premise started out just fine, but seems to have gotten lost in context somehow perhaps there is a purpose later but makes it difficult to continue. And this version of Harry Potter feels
disconnected and not very likable or relatable is he a smart protagonist, anti hero savior type or angst teen with borderline narcissistic complex, it never seems to settle its all over the place. When the time turner got involved and foreshadowing time manipulation in this already chaotic jumble mess, frankly got me to tired of trying to follow whatever this story is supposedly heading. Less is sometimes more.
Kylau Ren chapter 16 . 5/5/2020
This version of Quirrell is so much better than canon
Black Magic99 chapter 16 . 2/26/2020
so harry is a genius in the real world but youre making him come off as incompetent in the wizard one... why?
Zoom99 chapter 16 . 2/11/2020
Honestly don’t understand what it is about this story that people like about it, it’s pretty boring, with nothing much going on.
Alyce and Indi chapter 16 . 12/26/2019
Quirrell is...different. Also, Harry's mind goes to some very dark places.
uzieh chapter 16 . 12/16/2019
thiz fanfic just lights a fire inside me! HOT DAMN INDEED!
xXCactusGamingXx chapter 16 . 11/19/2019
Is it bad that I went to "ways to kill" instantly too? XD
Guest chapter 16 . 9/24/2019
Sorry, but your ignorance in Bayes’ theorem and probability theory is wrong. Good attempt to mimic another person and example but, no. Please just stop. And there’s how many chapters?! If you’d tried to just gloss over all the mathematical, statistical, and probability theory, it’s be ok but you tried to sound like you were knowledgeable in these disciplines when clearly you aren’t. Don’t do that, gloss or very stuff you’re not that knowledgeable (ignorant) about and don’t act like you are.
Majerus chapter 16 . 7/3/2019
Yes, uhm, very ahh... creative!
Berrybanana05 chapter 16 . 5/13/2019
Damn, this was a fascinating chapter.

“The best Harry had come up with was "I'm not a psychopath, I'm just very creative" and that sounded kind of ominous. He needed to say something unexpected, something that would make people stop and reconsider -”

Jestersky98 chapter 16 . 4/1/2019
Don't involve the bs between draco and hermione never works never will, only makes it boring and shitty
The Last Centurion 1 chapter 16 . 2/15/2019
I'm afraid if I don't stop reading now my mind will melt.
thebestofall chapter 16 . 12/18/2018
Damn. HPJEV is almost sociopathic. Voldemort who? The real dark lord is coming
Crack-jouchan chapter 16 . 6/7/2018
W-w-WHY ARE YOU COMPETENT, QUIRRELL?! Why isn’t he a stuttering wreck? Okay, that’s kind of mean in hindsight but still. And Harry’s wonderfully gory imagination gets another moment in the spotlight. I have applaud his creativity. Though, yes... he is rather morbid, isn’t he? Maybe he read some R18 Violence books too young. I know I was pretty messed up after I did.
KateOwO chapter 16 . 6/3/2018
MAN this chapter is great! If Voldemort is controlling Professor Q, then I see why so many people followed him and become death eaters... He do has some strong personality CHARM.
Lacertidae chapter 16 . 5/22/2018
"You must want it" - "So weak"
Now he's been teached how to get to be a good wizard on his first day of classes.
What's going on?

So well made. I love it.
Thank you so much.
NightshadeLG chapter 16 . 4/6/2018
There are so many ways to kill someone in this chapter.

I approve. I approve all chapters actually, but I approve this one more xD
AlenDarkStar chapter 16 . 3/25/2018
Quirrel is very different and is a good change.
slytherinsal chapter 16 . 3/9/2018
Now I'd have thought the obvious choice would be Quirrel himself as the most dangerous person in the classroom
The Observer chapter 16 . 1/11/2018
You genius author you...

Time and time again I've noticed this version of Harry Potter ignore his own lessons that he condescendingly gives to other people. Positive Bias in this case. Great foreshadowing from his conversation to Herimone on the train I must say. Great stuff.
Fiction is the Truth chapter 16 . 11/13/2017
I love how literally all of Harry’s thought process is must take over world, am surrounded by idiots. Then no bad be nice Harry!
Guest chapter 16 . 11/8/2017
Tiffany Smithi chapter 16 . 7/17/2017
Nooo! the enemy's gate is NOT Rowling! its DOWN!
The enemy's gate is DOWN!
Poet Wroet chapter 16 . 7/11/2017
I was expecting Harry to hit Quirrel with the hex. Well done on surprising me.
Jhuffy chapter 16 . 5/20/2017
Quirell is so creepy! I'm assuming that Voldemort is controlling him?
ack1308 chapter 16 . 4/6/2017

Harry got pretty damned creative there.

And I mean that literally.
WildNoa13474 chapter 16 . 3/15/2017
This is all the HPLV dreams come true. 'Harry was in love. It would be a three-way wedding: him, the Time-Turner, and Professor Quirrel.'
WildNoa13474 chapter 16 . 3/15/2017
'the killing curse... every single time on everything with a brain.' Wow, that insult wasn't even trying to be subtle. Sorry Harry, you have no brain.
SnuggleKitten69 chapter 16 . 3/13/2017
Beginning to read your story again. This chapter was rather enlightening.
WolfoftheMoonStorm chapter 16 . 3/9/2017
It's been a few chapters since I last reviewed I think. I can't put the story down long enough. But ch 16? Ohhhh myyyyy goddddd. That turned arlound FAST. I kinda feel stupid now, because I was like "well, he's giving correct answers" and then Quirrell was like "nope, but he's definitely dangerous". My mind has been BLOWN.
myafroatemydog chapter 16 . 3/7/2017
Excellent chap
Aislynn Crowdaughter chapter 16 . 2/18/2017
"Also Harry was in love. It would be a three-way wedding: him, the Time-Turner, and Professor Quirrell."

Snort! Also, thisis beyond awesomeness. What would Hogwarts have profited in Canon!Quirrelmort had really used the powers of his... inhabitant... to the fullest...

On another note, regarding Quirrels speech: the problem with reducing every defenceagainst dark creatures or dark wizards to two reactions: either killing curse or apparateaway, is of course that you aresomewhat limited in dealing with a creature or a dark wizard if you do not want to kill him/her/it. Like, for example, Charlie Weasley and his dragons. Or, if you wish to take a dark wizard prisoner. So, Quirrel is already revealing much of his darkness here. Somewhat of a risk, if any of the parents (or the other teachers at Hogwarts) should disapprove of his ideas. And lets not forget Fudge with his paranoia about being displaced by a students-army (as he did in OotP). So, as awesome as Quirrelmort is in this, it takes quite some suspension of disbelief.

On another note: damn, you made me actually like Riddle!
Ultimate Student chapter 16 . 1/21/2017
Is there sequels to this? Im somehow expecting there to be. And also, this Harry and Hermione (if they were 17) would have so much Belligerent Sexual Tension you could cut it with a Vorpal Sword. And the sex would be WILD.
yuritsudalove chapter 16 . 1/1/2017
Bueno, ya habían dicho que el chico era raro.
Penguinjava chapter 16 . 12/11/2016
I really like this version of Quirrel!Mort
Poseidonschild chapter 16 . 11/19/2016
I started off really liking this story, but I reached a point where I was skipping paragraphs because I couldn't keep up with the rhythm of humor and scientific explanations you like to mix together. Eventually I stopped reading all together because the dialogue was beginning to display the same trouble. I couldn't understand what the characters were talking about because I couldn't keep up with the set-ups. I think you have a good idea, but please remember people don't want to read a dictionary and science journals just to make it through a single paragraph of a book. As it was once said, if you can't explain it to a six year old you have no understanding of what your talking about. This is a mindset you need to hold onto for your readers. I'm not a science major though I enjoy it, my understanding of it isn't much better than a high school level. I focused on arts going through college and unless your readers are child prodigies you are discussing sciences that you don't learn of until college and even then probably just a scant rundown until upper years and graduate level courses. Keep in mind why people are sitting down to a fantasy novel instead of a book on psychology or physics or some other informative text.
Daziy is SoniQ chapter 16 . 10/24/2016
Now I'm greatly curious as to what the heck was Quirrel's/Voldy's strategy showing off like that
Kali-blue chapter 16 . 10/22/2016
I find your story interesting but exhausting. There is so much self inflated male energy it needs to be read in small doses. The mantra of "I have the best ideas, mine are the best" rings off the page much like listening to Trump and many boys and men who can't possibly be wrong or care who they affect. I'm not saying Your Harry doesn't care, but it's so wrapped up in his vision and yours that frankly I can't stomach that energy for long. I hope you tone it down as the story seems good. Maybe if I wait to read it after the election it will seem less objectionable.
Rambling Drabble chapter 16 . 9/21/2016
Amazing chapter. Truly amazing. I don't even WANT to try to analyze it. Plus, pretty much all the important and fun hints are explained by future chapters, and the rest are boring, or references to fandoms I'm not a part of. Regardless, this chapter is always a true joy to read.
blood-doll-aishiteru chapter 16 . 9/15/2016
That was amazing.
JD73hsnHSBDF chapter 16 . 9/2/2016
Quirrel is ... totally unexpected and interesting.
And I love the line about Harry being in love, three way wedding, timeturner and Quirrel.
greycat chapter 16 . 8/17/2016
I don't understand why Harry's watch says 11:23, and Harry translates that to 2:23 PM. That's an offset of 3 hours, modulo 12 hours (assuming it's a 12-hour watch, which I suspect it is). I'm not as insane as Harry, so I would reset the watch to match un-Turned Time every day, but it seems Harry is just leaving it untouched, and remembering his offset every day. If Harry is using the full 6 hours of Time Turner every day (which I believe he is, as he is currently racing to read all of his books), and we are explicitly told that he has already used 2 hours today, his offset should be an even number of hours, regardless of which day this is.

Apart from that little quibble, I completely adore this chapter. Wow! Literal tears of joy/laughter. Harry's relationships with Draco and with Quirrel are two of the points that really set this story apart. You've introduced Quirrel as the Best Teacher Ever in chapter 16, and Harry is completely unable to resist.
Happy chapter 16 . 5/23/2016
Whew! Evil!
TheLittleRoguex chapter 16 . 5/15/2016
Cool this was
gi-freakazoid chapter 16 . 5/2/2016
Quirrel seems a cool teacher.
ReadingFreak1098 chapter 16 . 4/4/2016
I really like this side of Quirrell!
Kee chapter 16 . 4/1/2016
Does it say much about me that I would have used 'ma-ha-su' on Professor Quirrel if I were in Harrys place?
angellover130 chapter 16 . 1/29/2016
Montara chapter 16 . 1/21/2016
Did Harry at the end hit himself?! It seemed that way.

Loved Hermione's values, maybe she'll be Harry's Moral Conscience.

I think Quirrell is trying to make little Death Eaters out of them...masking those lessons as something they need to know to protect themselves from Dark Wizards.

I'm kind of glad Harry learns that he's not always right, humility is good sometimes.
Secre chapter 16 . 1/2/2016
An engaging and interesting read; my only criticism so far far to be that wasn't Quirrell a Ravenclaw?
LiteratureGirl12 chapter 16 . 12/26/2015
Oh man, all the other kids are gonna be afraid of him now aren't they? I sure as hell would be!
WatchingTheWatchman chapter 16 . 12/6/2015
No 11-year-old should have killing intent; Harry really should realize that he's exhibiting a number of psychopathic qualities. "Very creative" is not a great explanation for his answers, and he's easily smart enough to figure that out. I can't wait to see what he does with the information.

I love Hermione in this chapter. Standing up to a professor like that, because of her beliefs, is difficult; she has a lot of courage for it.
The Anguished One chapter 16 . 12/3/2015
Well, Professor Quirrell certainly doesn't seem himself. I couldn't imagine why... Love Harry's response to the challenge presented to him. A clever way of showing he isn't already doomed to be evil.
vancettenorio chapter 16 . 11/28/2015
Entraya chapter 16 . 11/21/2015
I just visited my little cousin today. Jokingly, I called her a bandit.
She responded with 'I'm not a bandit, I'm just creative'
Thought it was a cute coincidence, though I still don't know how her being creative was in any way relevant
Guest chapter 16 . 11/5/2015
ShadowLDrago chapter 16 . 10/15/2015
Gleas chapter 16 . 10/14/2015
Uh... am I right in assuming Voldemort is teaching?
httpkirby chapter 16 . 10/13/2015
Selling their organs on the black market... I'd never think of that...
boom chapter 16 . 10/10/2015
forgot to mention, i just love the macgonagall harry dynamic
Good chapter 16 . 10/2/2015
Ingeniously good.
P. P. P chapter 16 . 9/12/2015
Holy shet! But at least he hit the teacher. Quirrel is EVIL!
Ria0207 chapter 16 . 8/7/2015
Oh my god, this book is insane.
Sol chapter 16 . 8/3/2015
I guess I could be acussed of hindsight bias or the fact it may seem obvious but I knew Harry was going to hex himself.
8734287934379342879erw87952587 chapter 16 . 7/13/2015

- Manny (You can find me on tumblr at asexualtomriddle.)
Angelfirenze chapter 16 . 7/3/2015
DuncanIdaho2014 chapter 16 . 5/18/2015
You're freaking brilliant and a genius, both creatively and academically, but... I JUST CAN'T HANDLE ANYMORE OF THIS!

In the same way I can acknowledge that the Song of Ice and Fire is a literary phenomenon and yet be unable to actually read it because it is simply too depressing/realistic-in-a-horribly-Machiavellian-way, this (for lack of a better word) fanfiction is awesome in ways I can't properly describe, and yet it simultaneously strains my brain as if performing 4 figure by 4 figure multiplication without paper AND introduces enough cognitive dissonance to make me drool as I question the very foundations of my individual perception of consensus reality.

In summary, I am both too smart to just submit to this and enjoy the humor and not smart enough to keep up with your incredibly well-crafted double-think irony whatchamacallit. Quite simply, this is too much for me.

My resentment at you for outsmarting me without having directly communicated with me at all is matched only by my admiration at the skill it took to do so.

Have a good day.
pie480 chapter 16 . 5/17/2015
My head really hurts and I'm only at chapter 16. No offence, but it's REALLY HARD FOR ME TO READ THESE! I want to read on cause it's interesting, and I want to stop because MY HEAD HURTS AND I WANT TO DESTROY THIS STORY! *cough* sorry about that... Anyway, good and all, but it really twists your mind. Makes me wonder how much time it took you to research all this, or what kind of person would actually want to know all that.
PA chapter 16 . 5/17/2015
Ah ha, I think I've figured out part of the puzzle, but I'm gonna wait to see if I'm right.
Deseos chapter 16 . 5/7/2015
"I'm not a psychopath. I'm just very creative." I want this on a tee-shirt ! This story is great !
Haruhana chapter 16 . 3/31/2015
Wow, I love your new idea of Quirrel. I never really liked the original.
Erainor chapter 16 . 3/26/2015
Wow, you've made Quirrell far FAR more exciting than he has been in any other fanfic I've read!
Concolor44 chapter 16 . 3/26/2015
Hmm. So ...

Something in Harry's subconscious STOPPED him from approaching Quirrell ... or something in Quirrell objected to Harry getting that close ... or ...

I can't think of what else might have done that. Intriguing.

That was an interesting test. It will give Harry MUCH to consider.
hisnhers chapter 16 . 3/15/2015
Good gracious. What a first DADA class. I'm in shock, I think.

darragh107 chapter 16 . 3/14/2015
I'm only midway through chapter 16 but while im sure based on the story so far it won't be a problem, harry suddenly subscribing to quirells speech (in which "I'm indocrtrinating you" is more of a text than a subtext) despite his self proclaimed following of the scientific method. Although it is possible that you are building hypocrisy up as a fatal flaw to further the story at a later point to break him down so he can be reimagined as a "pure light" character, or as a way of demonstrating his psychosis that leads him down the darker path where he becomes a dark character or the aforementioned reimagining occurs. And while I'm on a roll, why is harry capable of the logic required to take the 'wait and see' approach when his concept of reality is destroyed, something that is integral to his character ie. See harrys poetic waxing of science to draco at the platform, but when the sorting hat points out a personality flaw he is aware of (his propensity towards dark lordship) he cannot accept his flaw because it would mean it would be difficult to live up to his expectations and disappoint his parents who he, at the age of 5 he decided he couldn't rely on. But I guess in the end none of these will read on anyway.
4everfictional chapter 16 . 3/13/2015
Did he hit himself? Brilliant chapter! XD
Berlin chapter 16 . 3/5/2015
"I'm not a psychopath, I'm just very creative." is now going ot be one of my favourite quotes! Thank very much for all of those unaccustomed uses in advance! You never know when you might need them!
Hufflepuff-DragonRider chapter 16 . 3/5/2015
So...Quirrell is a bad ass. But I get the feeling it is because Voldemort is directly controlling him. Nice twist if so.
ConfusedLlama chapter 16 . 2/17/2015
So I'm a bit confused. What did these few lines mean?
Finally Professor Quirrell sighed. "Yes, quite ingenious, but there was a lesson to be taught and you dodged it. One point from Ravenclaw for showing off your own cleverness at the expense of the actual goal. Class dismissed."

And before anyone else could say anything, Harry sang out:

"Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!"
What was the lesson Quirell was talking about? And how does the Sorting Hat joke make sense here?
Guest chapter 16 . 2/3/2015
"We'd better go get our seats," Draco said. He hesitated, straightened a bit, spoke a bit more fomally. "But I do want to continue our last conversation and I accept your conditions."
"fomally" should be formally
Ficlate chapter 16 . 1/16/2015
if some1z reading dis, wud ye pls add into teh next a/n sum links to scientific books or may be articles about "censors inside your mind" (by Quirrell in chapter 16),which stops internal "intent to kill". I only found Joachim Bauer about mirrored neurons, but IDK if it's legit ; Frans de Waal 's "Moral behavior" (seems bit pop) and Anthropology of War. Wonders what were your sources.
philharmony chapter 16 . 12/29/2014
Yay! This is my favorite fan fiction ever!
TheButterflyComposer chapter 16 . 12/24/2014
Apart from Dementors (who not only have no brain but are immortal as well), this lesson makes sense.
Interesting that Harry didn't think of physically using the chairs in the room when he knew that no one else there, apart from the teacher, would even try to stop him from hitting them.
Got to say though, Harry being practical does not make him a dark wizard. It might...might mean he has some mental issues but even then it would be difficult to argue for that.
Nope, I'm not seeing any darkness yet...though that could change.
GingerHannah chapter 16 . 12/22/2014
This is an amazing story! Words can not even do it justice. The plot is interesting, the characters are obviously well thought out and the writing style is engaging.
humanoidpatronus chapter 16 . 12/6/2014
Ingenious Ideas. Competent Quirrell. The obvious choice was to fire on Quirrell himself
PlanetOfTheWeepingWillow chapter 16 . 12/1/2014
When I started I honestly had no idea that good stories could receive such a shocking amount of publicity. Of course many has, as this story's origins (HP is wildly successful and plenty popular) and so I agreed. As I read more and more I realized something. No way. This is WAY beyond good. This is something a scientist calculated. Something that stays consistently fun and joyful and dramatic and well, extremely clever. (I still can't believe me it took two days to make the Tragedy of Light and Liatus connection. And when I did I was in a public place and slammed my head against the wall. Figuratively and a little physically). At times I feel like this is better than actual Harry Potter. It takes so many of the plot holes and not so good elements such as Ron - I beg your pardon but here he isn't very much needed -, several bad guys, and most of all Harry and reinvents them. Harry is no longer a flat hero with occasional bursts of personality. Now he's full-fledged and deeply interesting. I will always love the original for its charm and message, of course, but this is a very nice, refreshing view on a world fans love. Sure it doesn't have the same exact charisma as Rowling's masterpiece but it builds its own wonderful, unique world. Finally, so that I won't ramble anymore, it does something that so few heroic stories do. It makes the reader want to be smarter while reading it. It's like watching Sherlock Holmes, the Great Mouse Detective, anything by Murakami, or Isaac Asimov. It inspires intelligence and cunning, which is where I think Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality oversteps the boundary of "great fan fiction" into "glorious, unforgettable writing".
N. E. Person chapter 16 . 11/9/2014
Schadenfreude, Harry. :P I wonder what poor Hermione is going to think.
kimchi759 chapter 16 . 11/3/2014
The conversations between Harry and Draco are also so amusing. That said, I had almost hoped Harry would hex Quirrel...
MeiPhantomhive chapter 16 . 9/18/2014
I really like Quirrel.
Harry, Harry, Harry. What would Petunia say?
WriterCat97 chapter 16 . 9/12/2014
Your story is really, really good. Quirrel is a bit off character though. However, you may have made him so in purpose. I'm also quite sure that he is a Ravenclaw, not a Slytherin. :)
Sue Clover chapter 16 . 9/3/2014
So what the hell is up with Quirrell? This is fascinating, but obviously not how Quirrell acted in the books at all. So now I have to figure out what is actually going on. I believe you mentioned at the welcoming feast when he went up to say his speech that Harry noticed the back of his head looking bald - does that not mean that he is not wearing the turban? But that still leaves a lot of questions. And Harry is definitely getting stay away signals from him. Harry is still a Horcrux, right? Yes, I think we've established that. But Quirrell - he's another specimen entirely. Two different personalities, living inside the same head. One, an excellent DADA teacher, confident, scary, and quite possibly an evil Dark Lord, the other an exhausted, terrified, and possibly slightly incompetent young man. That's what I see, anyway. But that whole self-revelation thing Quirrell forced on Harry, about how he always goes for the kill - that was fascinating, and really rather scary.
alix33 chapter 16 . 8/28/2014
EW! at Goyle cleaning his teeth with that toothpick in what is practically a public place in Hogwarts. I suppose I should be grateful he did not floss.
EW! at those minions of Draco's giggling.
StackofStories chapter 16 . 8/14/2014
Flirting… yup, Harry and Professor Quirrel (Voldemort) were flirting.
Voldemort got to do what he always dreamed of. Become a DADA teacher and he's great it, like HOT DAMN!
You are a genius. Kudos.
Redery chapter 16 . 8/13/2014
I'm loving this quirrell xD
thepkrmgc chapter 16 . 7/30/2014
how did quirrell pass teaching school with that mindset? but i cant deny that he is doing an exellent job at training a pack of little sith wizards

harry's idea are certainly reminicent of ender: going for the goal of preventing his oponent from ever hurting him again: good to see that he restrained himself though

heres hoping that harry is genre savvy enough to tell mcconagal about quirrell
Senri-Taichou chapter 16 . 7/26/2014
I think I'm inclined to agree with Harry... "Hot damn" indeed.
Can I be invited to the wedding?
Foxy-Floof chapter 16 . 7/3/2014
Harry is definitely treading the blade's edge. Could go dark, very very easily. Could go light, with a side order of sadistic tendencies towards those who hurt others.
Could go chaotic neutral, where every decision is at random, or to ultimately support some semblance of balance between perceived ideals.
Jesper chapter 16 . 7/3/2014
One of the best chapters so far!
InArduisFidelis-RAMC chapter 16 . 6/15/2014
There is no way this can be legal
Silverrain chapter 16 . 4/11/2014
I love how the professors are actually responsible and competent in this story. Cheers!
Tianhuayoucao chapter 16 . 3/16/2014
One of the warning signs of a Dark Wizard...interesting possibility; would that imply that in order to succeed in a dark wizardy career you need to be an alloy of two or more House properties, meaning that ambition is not your default primary motivator? It would be fascinating to think that if Warrington, Draco and the others paused to analysis this hypothesis, they would be faced with the probability that dark lord seedlings in fact have more well-rounded personalities than the rest of the lot...I'm assuming that the Sorting Hat has no will of its own until it touched Harry and was not spending all that time trying to talk the youngsters into the paths less taken.
yfcychvjhvrydtrdyviubirxwardcv chapter 16 . 3/6/2014
Quierell is not stuttering, acting stupid, or being afraid of anything. He is clever, dangerous, and a SLYTHERIN! Looks like Harry has a challenge! So far, this is my favorite chapter. Review later!

Wolf V Bunny chapter 16 . 2/27/2014
Ingenious, far the best chapter yet!
Harlequin de Rustre chapter 16 . 2/23/2014
Interesting class. Quirrell as a competent, bloodyminded professor? Good, good.

But a premise isn't making your story any stronger, as amusing as it might be to write a few instances.
Vampires2rocks chapter 16 . 2/6/2014
...unusual and out of the ordinary? Since we're talking about a student who can barely believe that magic is real and can barely do any 1st year spell, I'll go with said student using the Imperio on the teacher himself - who has proved himself dangerous - and order him to start on a killing spree.

Goal until he can stop killing? All human kind.

Grizzmon chapter 16 . 1/13/2014
This is your brain, this is your brain on magic!
Makokam chapter 16 . 1/7/2014
"The only safe enemy is a dead enemy."
I'm curious where you're going with this and unless you're just doing it because why not I'm starting to seriously believe that this is NOT the first time round. That SOMEBODY. Somewhere. Some/when/. Something changed that had FAR more drastic effects than Petunia marrying someone that wasn't Vernon Dursley.

Especially because I remembered something the thing from the last chapter that I'd lost.

"Transfiguration isn't permanent."

What did Lily do to Petunia?

If that's even true.
WellWhatDoYouKnow chapter 16 . 1/3/2014
I knew you read Enders Game.
CMVreud chapter 16 . 12/29/2013
I know this problem.
Just because you have a clean, determined mind to seek the shortest way to the answer they are looking at you funny.
Lemmiwinks-NO chapter 16 . 11/27/2013
This is my favorite chapter so far. I'm enjoying the interaction between Harry and Draco, and this has to be the best first day of defense I've ever read.
Natasha chapter 16 . 11/22/2013
He's Ender!
DeletedAccount3498 chapter 16 . 11/9/2013
This is quite interesting. I think one of the most intriguing aspects of the story right now is Professor Quirrell. I think it's balantly obvious at this stage of the story, that his character is different from his character in the actual books, though the whole Voldemort-at-the-back-of-his-head hasn't been verified to either be true or false. I think that a) Professor Quirrell was entirely pocessed by Voldemort in this lesson, and all the times that he had been talking and interacting with the students because Voldemort wanted the defence against the dark arts job, as well as taking a good look at Harry
b) Quirrell is already dead, and Voldemort has pocessed his body and Quirrell all throughout the story was really Voldemort in disguise, which makes sense seeing the warped storyline as well as Quirrell's sudden charisma...

I thought the defence against the dark arts lesson was wonderfully detailed, and I hope all hogwarts lessons will be written in such detail as this. Especially flying lessons, I'd love to know more about the aerodynamics of how brooms work, since it didn't really go into that much detail in the books.
Anon chapter 16 . 10/28/2013
I am literally in tears. This is the most hilarious AU I've ever read, and I'm only sorry I took such a long break from fan fiction and didn't discover this when you started.
willam and jack and jake chapter 16 . 10/24/2013
cool fanfic
Regal Pumpkin chapter 16 . 10/21/2013
Ironically, my review on the chapter before this actually said "Do kids in Battle School read this?" After seeing the first line of this chapter, I love this story even more!
Enderverse Fan chapter 16 . 9/18/2013
The enemy's gate is Rowling... :D haven't even read this chapter yet (though I'm sure I will be laughing hysterically, as I have at every chapter so far) because I desperately needed to comment on your awesomeness in having an Enderverse reference. Thank you for being awesome.
Guest chapter 16 . 9/9/2013
No, I'm pretty sure you're a psychopath too
Lunacom chapter 16 . 8/15/2013
You can also say that a murder of Ravenclaws descended.
Methe chapter 16 . 8/15/2013
Hi Author,
I've been mulling over this chapter for quite a while and I was wondering if I am over analysing.
In this chapter prior to asking Harry to give 10 uses for things in the room for combat he has a mini rant about killing curses and the entire scene is kinda morbid.
Did you Harry fall for a fairly subtle psychological trick (Priming), was Harry primed by Quirrells death talk into coming up with death related things?
Did Quirrell know what he was doing consciously, unconciously or is that simply how he talks to people?
If Harry hadn't been primed what examples would he have come up with?
Darth Luffy chapter 16 . 7/27/2013
Damn, so Quirell is definitely possessed by Voldemort, more so than he was originally, I cant wait to see what kind of shock that will be to Harry when he finds out since I can see him appreciating the no-holds-bar class... that said I loved Harry's thought process but he missed the first and most obvious weapon in the room, himself, he could easily strangle someone despite the lack of training... chapters like these are always a comfort to me though as it makes me feel better about myself, It's always nice to know that I'm not the only person that thinks 'kill' instead of defend or injure even thought you have no legitimate reason (as in some kind of 'trigger') makes me feel slightly less crazy
Anon chapter 16 . 7/2/2013
I was just thinking how I might be in love with your Quirrell and would totally marry him or be his slave or vote for him to reform the American schooling system when I turn eighteen when Harry decided to marry him and the time-turner, and I was like, *squeal of delight* "Can I join this family?! Seriously, I'll be any part! I'll be their house-elf!"
Anon chapter 16 . 7/2/2013
Crabbe and Goyle... I'm dying!
Ilessthan3KH chapter 16 . 7/2/2013
good lord your clever.. you're writing stories around me.. that's not the phrase but I think it makes my point.. I think lol
but seriously these stories are so exceptionally delightfully confusing and on the whole HILARIOUS! honestly, I know JK said you can't profit off fanfiction but if you were to like print this I'd buy multiple copies, 2 for me and plenty for like everyone I know. when my friend first introduced me to this I was like hot damn, that's a lot of favorites, must be good. it is. it so is. very very good. like mind blowingly ingenious. I'm legit loling at some of this stuff, and the lines come back to me after I've read them, "too soon to call her minnie" "Slytherin jk Ravenclaw", what I'm fairly sure was a rip off of the infamous lumberjack monty python song, the whole note on the pie and his confusing everyone with the game. It's all so wonderful. I take it you didn't like Ron though? my best friend doesn't see the need for him to exist either, as she and draco in chapter 7ish put it. mainly I think he's just comedic relief and more importantly the only thing that gives Harry normalcy, but in this story, Harry is comedic relief and I pray you don't make him too normal.. also, woot 70 chapters to read! I try to make an effort to review every chapter but since this is so popular I'll spare you the notifications and just cram how amazing at life and writing you are into occasional reviews! :D
Silvering chapter 16 . 6/26/2013
He didn't ask anyone to transfigure a living thing... also, that was some high-class Fridge Horror, last chapter. The canon seems to be rather more innocuous on the surface, and then they go into splinching, and you realize they have this tendency to play with fire in weird ways in the wizarding world... _
Guest chapter 16 . 6/21/2013
It took me four rereadings to finally realize that Harry is Voldemort's Horcrux in the sense of him being a copy of Voldemort from 11 years ago minus the memories and in hindsight it's so bloody obvious I don't understand why it took me so long to figure out!
There are so so many hints (at least ten that I've now spotted) peppered throughout the story, especially the first twenty chapters...
Guest chapter 16 . 5/13/2013
This story reminds me of the series of unfortunate events and while its quite entertaining I can't possibly tea this anymore without getting a headache
sww11685 chapter 16 . 4/17/2013
Interesting take on the defense class and Quirell
Originality-Report chapter 16 . 4/4/2013
I feel like he should have chosen qurril
Lahel chapter 16 . 3/31/2013
...and I JUST realized the LOTR reference to the troll. I missed a lot reading this the first time around.
hervissa chapter 16 . 2/27/2013
Woah. WOAAAAAAH. DADA is very, very different this year, isn't it? :))
Quirell is bat-shit insane, even that he has a point, I admit xD
But I think that he loves the trolls too much. The Trio got rid of a troll in their FIRST year, but Harry was struggling with a Horntail in his 4th year. What's more dangerous, hmm? ;)
It was great, great chapter.
And Hermione FTW! :D

hervissa :)
Fugitive chapter 16 . 2/20/2013
This story is hilarious.
Enei Emmu chapter 16 . 2/3/2013
So Harry aimed the spell at himself? Pretty slick loophole, Harry.
Ciel Elyse chapter 16 . 1/30/2013
Aww poor Hermione. I love Harry's relationship with Draco, and I love this story. Smartly crafted and simply hilarious.

By the way, Quirrell's indeed a badass.
Death2Ignorance chapter 16 . 1/27/2013
Best. Professor. Ever.
petalene chapter 16 . 1/25/2013
Harry has issues! I hope we get to see some of what caused this.
Writing bunny chapter 16 . 1/6/2013
I wonder what would happen if Harry actually hit some other student with the hex. I'd expect it to be his start of darkness. With the mind he has, he has to be very careful not to actually hurt people.
Lendary chapter 16 . 1/6/2013
Hmm. I'm pretty sure that the original version of Quirrel's speech had the line "The adult wizard." Not "The dark wizard". The original line sounds better in my opinion, since he uses the phrase "dark wizard" again some lines later. The original wording seems more in line with Quirrel's character too. (of course I may be misunderstanding his intentions here)
Knut chapter 16 . 1/4/2013
I wanna wanna MINION!
Biabara chapter 16 . 1/4/2013
I'm worried about myself. I also tried to come up with things to use in combat and all of them were meant to kill my opponent as well o.O I agree with Harry, we are just creative!
BiblioMatsuri chapter 16 . 1/3/2013

Well, now the subtitle makes perfect sense.
StrangeoneXD chapter 16 . 12/16/2012
Oh my god you have minions? Priceless. I really love Harry's way of being manipulative, it can sound so innocuous. He has a very interesting wedding ideal though. I like his item thought process...though not really surprised. I thought that was normal for people, didn't everyone have a game on the many ways to kill at least once?
Mr Norrell chapter 16 . 12/14/2012
I am a potato.
Dan Riddle chapter 16 . 12/14/2012
I want Quirrell as my private tutor! :(
Nyos chapter 16 . 12/13/2012
Fascinating in both the story and your assumption that the audience is intelligent enough to understand the story. Pros and cons in that. To the next chapter!
AkitaSagaraAlanya chapter 16 . 11/18/2012
I am terreably sorry to say that your story went WAY over my head, I could tell it was good, amazing even but I couldn't truly understand itT_T
OrionRedde chapter 16 . 10/21/2012

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of BADASS QUIRRELL.

There's a catch to this.
PrimaDonna chapter 16 . 10/11/2012
You sir, are a God. This story is the best thing that ever happened to my Day Off.
nihilsupernum chapter 16 . 10/3/2012
Um, to me the obvious choice was to hit Professor Quirell. (He technically just said 'fire', not 'fire at a student')
Hawklan chapter 16 . 9/27/2012
wow..quite the strange but fun to read class Quirrel gave there
ElleRoseRyan chapter 16 . 9/13/2012
Oh! Just read the first line - that's from Ender's Game! the enemy's gate is down!
Panruru chapter 16 . 8/1/2012
Very ingenious approach Quirrell (or should I say Voldemort?) is taking to influence Harry. I look forward to seeing more of Draco.
voodooqueen126 chapter 16 . 8/1/2012
Apparently. women can be more deindividuated than men, and when they think they can get away with something, they will do it.
Michael Shiva chapter 16 . 7/31/2012
Since Harry is using six extra hours a day to read more, that would mean his sleep cycle would be off once again. Each day he would have to go to bed four hours earlier than the night before. If he started at 10pm going to bed, in just three days he would be going to bed at 10am and missing a whole day in school. This cycle would repeat every six days, so he couldn't use weekends to work it out.
Satirica chapter 16 . 7/16/2012
Harry has a twisted mind, doesn't he? Oh, he doesn't...just a very smart one, that enables him to think of outrageous ideas. He did kind of sound evil, though. Looks like Defence class will be much more exciting than it was in the first book; it's almost as if Voldemort's possessing Quirrell during class sessions...that's my theory.
Kirinin chapter 16 . 7/10/2012
"Just kidding! Ravenclaw!" is a great way of explaining why Harry turned the hex on himself. I was very proud of Hermione, just like Harry, that she resisted. And when when Draco came around, I thought that when Quirrell/LV only said "Fire" that Draco would be clever and fire on the professor. But of course, Quirrell read him right: Draco *wanted* to hex Hermione, so of course he would. When Harry's decision came around and Quirrell was specific enough to tell him to fire on a *student*, I didn't guess what he was going to do before he did it... (Next time I'll stop reading and think.)

I thought Harry's ideas were pretty silly, too, but I understand: the professor was asking him for super-creative ideas, or so he thought. :)

landofmyth chapter 16 . 7/8/2012
I don't even know what to say anymore. That DADA lesson was so, so brilliantly used. I thought I understood Harry Potter, and I have never been so thrilled to be proved wrong again and again and again.
inkbender chapter 16 . 7/5/2012
I love that you have portrayed characters like Crabbe and Goyle as more than one-dimensional minions. Also, I keep expecting Professor Quirrell to bust out his evil side and become Lord Voldemort... why is he a zombie? Oh well, guess we'll find out
KajitaniEizan chapter 16 . 7/3/2012
So, I assume it's been speculated many times before, but is Quirrell actually somehow Harry from the future? The whole matter antimatter thing, the sense of doom simply being an artifact of universe self-consistency (can't have a time loop if the guy manages to kill himself), Quirrell being sure of various things such as not being DADA teacher next year, etc.
Ralia chapter 16 . 6/27/2012
Omg I hope this dark lord quirrel person stays forever. I love him
Rilian chapter 16 . 6/26/2012
What the hell is this crap? Quirrell is stupid and evil.
Vladimir the Hamster chapter 16 . 6/11/2012
Is that an Ender's Game reference I see?

Harry overwhelmed into applause is too hysterical. May I also mention that I've only just realized I've been imagining your Harry Potter as one Tony Stark this entire time? Even has the signature goatee. Yet in my head he's still acceptably 11 years old.

Not sure what it says about me that I also immediately started thinking of ways to kill—or severely maim—others unconventionally. Power of suggestion on Quirrell's part or because it's predictably what this Harry would do?
Son of Whitebeard chapter 16 . 6/4/2012
Nice to see a rational logical Harry it appears he's like Spock.

But with Harry's ordered nature, does it mean he has OCD or a mild case of Aspberger's.
Abdulhmar king of squirrels chapter 16 . 5/24/2012
"The enemy's gate is Rowling."

Ender's Game reference?

Especially liked this chapter.
HerGoldenHair chapter 16 . 5/23/2012
Thanks for not making Harry inexplicably better than Hermione at everything. I was afraid that might happen at first, but I should have known better. :D

Oh, wow, I loved this chapter. Slightly weird but veeeery interesting!
tricorvus chapter 16 . 5/13/2012

This is the Harry I want!
Guest chapter 16 . 5/10/2012
No doubt the author of this fanfic piece in its multiple chapters has read Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game, where adult supervisors consider killing aggression a virtue, just as Professor Quirrell does here. Other modern literary examples exist, such as Katniss Everdeen and her peers in the Hunger Games, but such is not my point. Rather, my point is that some authors consider it an advanced, probably evolved, capacity in certain humans that enables them to switch on and off their innate psychopathic capacities and commit what society considers to be horrible acts of murder, mayhem and effective warfare to kill and therefore defeat their enemies. The popularity of such fictional tropes persuades me that we humans respect such capability - similar to SpecOps snipers and other soldiers returning from killing and taking up a seemingly normal life among society.
captKirk chapter 16 . 5/5/2012
Would one killing curse really bring down a dragon and a troll? I know that dragons and trolls have skin that is resistant to curses. Also, the killing curse takes a lot of magic and force when killing a human. Wouldn't killing a troll or a dragon take proportionately more magic and effort? The magic and effort needed might actually be disproportionate, given that dragons and trolls are resistant to curses. Just a thought. In general, I love this fan fic. This is my first fan fic that I have actively sought out and read. It is wonderful, and it's extremely enjoyable to see common sense applied to the situations in the books.
GSYH chapter 16 . 4/30/2012
...because death and maiming is a more sure way of disabling an opponent than stunting, because certainty is important to Harry.
yavin4 chapter 16 . 4/25/2012
Sometimes, this fic gets down right scary. I still like it.
I Read For the Content chapter 16 . 4/16/2012



Yeah, there is something REALLY wrong with Harry Potter. REALLY WRONG!

Damn, and he just walked right into that...and everyone heard it.
James Farrar chapter 16 . 4/11/2012
Halfway through Chapter 16 pretty good actually. I am enjoying it a lot.
yitiantulong chapter 16 . 4/10/2012
THIS is the chapter where I fell in love with the fanfic, and yes, it was because of Quirell! :)

How awesome... and so true on so many fronts.

BTW, on his later comment about Muggle technology and scientists, he's not alone of course, and I would extend it to all of Intelligence actually.

As Crichton once wrote "The survival value of intelligence has never been satisfactorily demonstrated."
natsu.point chapter 16 . 4/9/2012
Wow, your version of Quirrell is very manipulative and cunning. He completely use the rumors of the one Ravenclaw facing down five older Slytherins to his advantage and manipulated Potter to be feared by his classmates.

By the way I find the examples that Harry given to be incredibly hilarious due to its absurdity.
Hidden Lines chapter 16 . 4/7/2012
Ahaha. Ender's Game. I like. Love all your references, by the way.

Oh my god. I love this Quirrel. Is this You-Know-Who actually teaching the class? Is this what he wanted all those years ago? To be a cool teacher? Dammit, Dumbledore why didn't you let him? He would have been so cool.

Love how this chapter was like a...reference (for want of a better word) to Ender's Game. Epic creepy little kids with intent to kill. Is it bad that I think this is awesome? Maybe. Screw it.

Although I expected Harry to target Quirrel. I mean, I'm not a full on BADASS (bit of a coward for my age actually), but in the spur of the moment, even I might suddenly develop the guts to pull something like that. But I'm technically and adult, so moot point. A ten year old wouldn't have the balls to do that.

A ten year old usually doesn't think on this level or have an intent to kill, either. I say you should have made him target Quirrel for some epicsauce to spray around the room. But that moment is gone and in the past, so nevermind.
Tail Kinker chapter 16 . 3/29/2012
Right. Signed on to this fic because of the whole idea of science and magic being explored together. Stayed on because this fic is MADE OF AWESOME!

Just getting the science right would earn kudos for me, especially because you usually show your work. But making it an entertaining story as well just makes it that much more awesome.
The Blind One chapter 16 . 2/20/2012
Yes indeedy, this class is going to be different.

"Now what does that remind me of...?" Didn't catch that the first time through. Neat.

I've seen speculation (I'm gonna use that phrase a lot, aren't I?) that Quirrell is off at Pioneer enjoying the view when he does his zombie thing. I rather like that idea.

"Oh my god you have /minions./" I really really like said minions in this universe, for what that's worth. You can tell right from the "suspiciously balanced-looking stance" on Goyle that they're not entirely brainless muscle mass. Also the mobster act is no end of funny.

Hmm, then either Riddle and/or Grindelwald could have been at least one of the Hat's longest sortings, if perhaps not its most interesting that it mentioned. Going with Riddle on principle.

"Looming vigorously." *snort*

Hmm, the Hungarian Horntail doesn't sound like the sort of thing a fourth-year could take on. Ya think?

I am reminded of the fact that Riddle was apparently very good with rhetoric before he went nuts.

Hermione's good at the Milgram experiment, then. That'll stand her in good stead, I'm guessing.

"Demonstrate his supposed immunity to the Killing Curse? Surely Professor Quirrell was too smart for /that/..." Dramatic irony is a beautiful thing.

I'm not sure why this little discussion is as fascinating as it is. Mostly my inner Ravenclaw going "Logic and words and thinking and *interesting stuff, dammit*," I suspect.




Why. Why must you tease us this way?
Robbie the Phoenix chapter 16 . 2/18/2012
This Professor Quirrell is scary. It makes me wonder if he's actually Professor Quirrell, if he's Voldemort, or if Quirrell has somehow developed a split personality. More than likely, the answer is a lot simpler than that, but that's what I've come up with so far.
Cheerfully Cynical chapter 16 . 2/12/2012
I mean no disrespect in this, my brain is a GONER! I LOVE this!
infinitio umbras in lux lucis chapter 16 . 2/9/2012
Oh bless you. I bow to master of genius and science who far exceeds myself. I self proclaim you king of the universe if you ever decide to claim the title. there is so much subject matter here that I may end up reading this story over and over again for years.
eastern rosebud chapter 16 . 2/6/2012
Is this just me, or is the hexing lesson deliberate allusion to the Milgram experiment?
Guest chapter 16 . 1/25/2012
You. Win. When at first reading HP I am disappointed that Rowling never explain their lesson. And the other books are just about magical creatures and quidditch! How boring was that? I thought there would at least be a book of spells or animagus. This fic have done better. Plus psycho!harry to the mix. Love it.
Lady Anaia Lionel chapter 16 . 1/24/2012
I want to let you know RIGHT NOW that I worship you AT YOUR FEET.

Honestly, this work so far that I was turned onto yesterday is the most amazing piece of fan fiction THAT WAS EVER WRITTEN.

I am on Chapter 16 right now and HOLEY CRAP. You put much thought into this and as a story writes itself I can tell your mind certainly helped to add flavor and flair to this.

Also, I like a story when I have to think and make sure I make sense of all of this. The fact that Harry more or less makes some sense to me probably tells me more about my mental capacity than my attempts to remember what school was like.

Also I adore the first meeting of Draco and Harry. I died laughing. Then came back!

Thank you for writing this! I will certainly read more and all of this! 3

Many cakes and cookies to you!
coby chapter 16 . 12/31/2011
Fancy giving us a new years present and updating?
Puppylover06 chapter 16 . 12/25/2011
Excellent. Well done. I just want you know how much I am enjoying this fic. It has all my favorite things: science, humor, and descriptions of gruesome murder. I also love your Jewish references. As a practicing, modern-orthodox Jew myself, I found it particularly intruiging, as Jewish (or really any religious references in Harry Potter fanfiction is rare.) I especially enjoy your use of science, coming up with logical explanations for Rowling's supernatural world-although, I do find it a bit odd for an eleven-year-old to know about all of these things, even if one of their parents was a teacher at Oxford (I'm thirteen and my dad is a scientist, but I don't know all of that stuff.) Also, this is not widely known, but just for future reference: Quirrell was in Ravenclaw when he was at Hogwarts, not Slytherin (although it would seem this way, considering he hosted a parasitic Voldemort-yet again, not ALL of Voldie's followers were in his house, like Peter Pettigrew, for instance, who was in Gryffindor. . . . Come to think of it, how DID Wormtail get into Gryffindor? Hmm. . . weird.) Anyway, other than that, you're good to go.
LixxyChan chapter 16 . 12/9/2011
Oh my gosh, you SPECIFICALLY said read to chapter five so anyone who read it would read up to the Draco and Harry bit didn't you? I laughed SO HARD x.D

Unfortunately, I lost interest halfway through chapter sixteen, which is a shame :

Nice start though ;
EpitomyofShyness chapter 16 . 11/9/2011
This was interesting, I'm not sure where Harry aimed though, at Draco, or did he do something else?
Abigail chapter 16 . 10/16/2011
A couple chapters ago, I wrote that you should write a fic with a rational Voldemort.

I feel like an idiot.

Of course anyone awesome enough to write Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality would have thought of that - and your Quirrell is terrifying, brilliant, and completely perfect. I was thinking before the Sorting Hat chapter that there was no way Harry could lose this - now I'm not sure how he'll win.

I also couldn't sleep last night for thinking about some of the ideas in this fic. Can't put my finger on precisely why, but this is the most thought-provoking thing I've ever read. maybe its because it expresses a worldview so totally different from mine, and yet very coherent and compelling.

I'll keep reading - I'm not sure I can stop.
Asparagus chapter 16 . 10/15/2011
I love you.

Too late, I already said it.

This chapter was fucking awesome.

I accidentally the whole cheesecake.
Music596 chapter 16 . 10/9/2011
I read 'the enemy's gate is Rowling' and had to review. Ender's Game is my favourite book :) Anyway, onwards and upwards I alway say. I love this story so far. I spend a lot of time looking things up, but I actually prefer it that way. I feel like I'm learning as I read it. I hope you go with the 'dark Harry' thing. It's rather refreshing for Harry to have issues with different sides of his personality. But, to be my all time favourite author I'm going to look for another reference. If I find it I'll let you know. Think of it as a game. :D I like games. So, I think I've taken up enough of your time now. Ta!
AR chapter 16 . 9/21/2011
The best word I can come up with is: Fascinating.

I do not begrudge him for his imagination...hell..if I counted every time I'd thought of ways to use ordinary items to kill someone seriously; I'm pretty sure I would have committed myself to an asylum a long time ago.

But the truly fascinating thing about this incident is that he is able to SAY it out loud without fear of retribution. I suppose that is where I see him being an 11 year old. He is as yet unaware of his own potential to be different in his need to impress and "think outside the box".
Caddy94 chapter 16 . 9/15/2011
I CAN DO MAGIC! FEAR ME, LAWS OF PHYSICS, I'M COMING TO VIOLATE YOU! OMG that was hilarious. Loving the story.
templar627 chapter 16 . 9/10/2011
Best quarrel ever! I really like himnow that he isn't an incompetent idiot and I really liked his speech.
LoliPear the WaltzQueen chapter 16 . 9/7/2011
Harry probably will not learn the killing curse. When asked to shoot he shot himself here. Who is (besides you) to say if Ravenclaw!Harry and Slytherin!Harry will be ble to convince him to learn such a powerful thing, furthermore to cause death when he seeks to reject it and its existence completely.
YellowDart chapter 16 . 9/3/2011
At first, I was disappointed at the seemingly cliche Aftermath with Hermione in Chapter 76. Then I reread it and was horrified at what Mr. Hat-and-Cloak was doing. Seriously, that guy is a monster!

Hermione is a true heroine for resisting interrogation for so long (how long nobody knows). And as a bonus, I like how even the Hat guy is showing signs of fatigue and irritation at her stubbornness.
madeyemarauder chapter 16 . 8/29/2011
Terrific lesson. Is it Tom/Quirinus transfiguration which is wearing him out?
Fenrir666 chapter 16 . 8/24/2011
Love your Quirrell. Send me an invite for the wedding?
anonymous chapter 16 . 8/20/2011
Harry Potter was in love. It was going to be a three way wedding: Harry Potter, the Time Turner, and Professor Quirrel.

Congratulations on making Quirrel tougher than he is in the book!
Guest chapter 16 . 8/11/2011
I haven't read the chapter yet, but I had to say that as an Ender's Game fan, I love the note at the top.

I really appreciate all of the references that you have worked into this story. And the serious look at Transfiguration. I wish that the structure of magic and the details of magical society beyond Diagon Alley and Hogwarts had been more developed in the books, so I love finding fics that take a serious look at it. As a (fortunately not currently starving) physics grad student, I am really amused by the perspective offered in this story.

I really hope Harry has memorized the Evil Overlord list.
Silverdragonstar chapter 16 . 8/9/2011
You do like to suprise people don't you? Got to admit Minions seem handy at times but to have them arranged a head of time..? Akin to a marrage? Laughed at first then had to flinch, too many bad images.

Also do all the adults have to not listen to the students? I had hoped Professor McGonagall would have been more open to listen to Harry. The whole Zombie thing is a dead give away. (pun intended)

I like Faulks he is not a chicken :)
theInsaneArtist chapter 16 . 8/4/2011
And that's why I am often scared of being alone with my thoughts. Don't worry, Harry. It gets easier to ignore those horrible impulse thoughts with practice. -
lizoftheinfinite chapter 16 . 7/30/2011
My favorite quote:


My favorite part:

Harry being the most dangerous because of his intent to kill. That was so well done. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW, OHMIGOD, OHMIGOD.

. . . and even though I'm mostly lesbian, I am making an exception for you. Please marry me now. I will cherish you forever.

. . . sorry, no marriage proposals till I've read the last thus-far-published chapter.


Hero worship does tend to give one a full head, so I will point out flaws I come across because I personally hate getting a full head and I'm sure you feel the same wow my use of commas sucks




Ginny R.B chapter 16 . 7/23/2011
This was the first chapter where I understood a little why people were so enraptured by this story.

Truthfully, I still don't quite understand the intense fervor, but I think I'm beginning to. Up until this chapter, I greatly disliked your idea of Harry. Even if I disregarded Harry's character from the canon and thought of this one as an OC who shared Harry's name... I still did not like him. I can admit, though, that I very much loved JK Rowling's characters as they were (even Harry and his utter naiveté and seeming noncommittal interest in magic), am very much biased because of it, and that I was a little resistant to these new personalities. However, I can disregard the original books. But even then... I still didn't like Harry all that much. I also find that I don't appreciate your interpretations for many of these characters...

...but I do for Professor Quirrell. They way he interacted with the class, his ideas, the very way he conducted the lesson- Very intriguing! And Harry's reactions to him were great to read, too. Overall, these were the first characterizations (even a little on Harry's part) that I liked... Very much, in fact. I hope that the chapters that follow will continue this trend so that I, too, can come to love this (because I feel the potential is there now. I really do).
napa chapter 16 . 7/21/2011
Can...can it be? Are you really bringing the Battle School to the Battle Magic class? The enemy's gate is Rowling, indeed!

(And I much, much, prefer this developed Harry!)
crackwhpre chapter 16 . 7/11/2011
I love your story, but I have to point out that when a Demoentor is nearby it cast a spell so anyone near it can't Apparate or Disapperate. So one of Quirell's points is wrong...
Alaude2019 chapter 16 . 7/10/2011
Quirrel confuses me so much, not sure if he is really evil or not. Interesting chapter though!
Rose Emeraldfay chapter 16 . 7/5/2011
Well, this is well written (for a Fan Fiction), as my brother said.

It seems like a mixture of Artemis Fowl and Harry Potter. I'm a fan of each series so I'm not objecting. I love your sense of humor and I'm actually going on the computer and LEARNING something for once. Thanks. I'll keep reading, if you don't mind, but I'll only comment if something HUGE is going on.

Sorry for not talking about this chapter, I wanted to comment before I read it.
Hiekomi chapter 16 . 7/2/2011
Instead of going nuts and reviewing 72 chapters of a wildly fluctuating roller coaster of hilarity and intense brilliance before I even get to chapter 20...

As for why Harry Potter was the most dangerous person in the room, I would say Quirrel was wrong. It was fear. He terrified the entire class, and now they believe him capable of anything. He did use fear tactics against Neville, though with the intent to help. This time it was successful, though unintentional. You've also emphasized Harry's tendency to envision the worse-case scenario, and this was a prime(though somewhat convoluted) example of that. HE can think of awful, terrifying scenarios. As you've already mentioned with the time turner, he fears ignorance and the unknowable. If he's already thought the enemy possible of it, then for him, it takes the sting out of anything they can throw at him, unless it's even worse.

Now I'm going to actually go read the next chapter! But whether I'm right or not, reading this is so, SO very satisfying. All hats off to you, intrepid writer.
DIZ chapter 16 . 6/26/2011
I don't understand what just happened. Harry hexed himself and then yelled just kidding Ravenclaw. That makes no sense. I wish someone could explain this to me...

Also, Quirrell reminds me of Mad Eye.
Iyrsiiea chapter 16 . 6/21/2011
I can see why this story is so heavily reviewed. It's nuts-and-batshit, balls-to-the-wall crazy. It's shit is fucked. If it were a person, it would make Bellatix Lestrange look like the most sane being on the planet. And yet it's so rationally sane and matter-of-fact that it makes you doubt your conception of reality and your very own existence.

So far, Harry has managed to make Minerva McGonagall wish he wouldn't be sorted into Griffindor, unknowingly maniplate Draco Malfoy into saying that he wished he *would* in front of his father, enter into a philisophical debate with a newly sentient Sorting Hat so convoluted it made my brain hurt, falsely believe that he had discovered the path to godhood via soda, and play the most mind-boggling prank ever to exist on himself.

Gah. I don't know if I can handle this series...
FreelanceBum chapter 16 . 6/16/2011
I wanted to go to sleep 3 hours ago. Your story won't let me. How dare you, sir?

(In other words: Love your writing, if a bit addictive.)
Bias Hazard chapter 16 . 6/8/2011
I've decided to teach, and this chapter played a critical part in that decision. Thank you, Eliezer.
Clownwithachainsaw chapter 16 . 6/4/2011
Oh, you just get cleverer and cleverer don't you? I shouldn't have been surprised by the chapter entitled Lateral Thinking. but Harry shooting himself? Wizard.
Mavarax chapter 16 . 5/28/2011
Also just out of curiosity how do you know the number of reviews is the highest?
Maskless Masquerade chapter 16 . 5/19/2011
Why are you putting J.K. Rowling down with your author's note at the beginning? Just curious...
TsukiNoBara chapter 16 . 5/10/2011
I'm going to assume that my idea of "Voldemort not just possessing Quirrel's body, he's taking it over, even if only during DADA" is correct for this review:

I like his style, and if he weren't, you know, evil, I think I'd want to be taught by him. I think. I'd probably pull a Hermione, but at the very least, his classes sound interesting.
Lexyann chapter 16 . 5/4/2011
Errr... That was just... scary. But... why his scar not hurting? Isn't it supposed to be Voldemort sharing Quirrel's body?
Jade Dagger chapter 16 . 4/18/2011
...possessed by Moldiewarts or not, I like this Quirell. Still enjoying it. Id say keep up the good work, but thats a moot point at the moment. :D
Guest chapter 16 . 4/13/2011
I love this story! It's very well written but I noticed one thing in this chapter. Quirrell specified that Harry had to fire at a student but he did not say that for Hermione or Draco. They could both technically fire at him without breaking the guidelines of his order. When he asked for their reason it would be 1)You were the one who asked me to harm somebody in this room so you were asking for it. 2)The only one they could of pissed off with that response is the teacher that told them he was the most dangerous person in the room and told them to fire the jinx at somebody.
Guest chapter 16 . 4/12/2011
I love this story! It's very well written but I noticed one thing in this chapter. Quirrell specified that Harry had to fire at a student but he did not say that for Hermione or Draco. They could both technically fire at him without breaking the guidelines of his order. When he asked for their reason it would be 1)You were the one who asked me to harm somebody in this room so you were asking for it. 2)The only one they could of pissed off with that response is the teacher that told them he was the most dangerous person in the room and told them to fire the jinx at somebody.
Kitty O chapter 16 . 4/8/2011
I can honestly say my intent to kill is turned off. Wand to eye? Yuck!

Also Harry was in love. It would be a three-way wedding: him, the Time-Turner, and Professor Quirrell.

I love that line though.
Goldrune09 chapter 16 . 2/27/2011
You have succeeded at making a COMPLETELY OC version of prof. Quirrell.
Kerr Avonsen chapter 16 . 2/27/2011
Oh my.

This Voldemort is being much more cunning and clever than in canon.

Oh, Harry, you've got problems. Such a quick and easy path is the Dark Side, young apprentice.
bookworm914 chapter 16 . 2/24/2011
A friend referred me to this fic, and it is absolutely great so far. I'm definitely enjoying the discussion of 'methods', and the story is really funny. The repetition of 'just kidding, ravenclaw' in this chapter was the first thing that actually made me really _think_ so far (and how cool is it that your fic has made me think!), so I had to review now. Great story, great humor, I'm rushing to catch up, so that I can then eagerly await further updates.
Mooni444 chapter 16 . 2/23/2011
I really, really, really like your story.

The only problem that I have, and it is my problem, is the fact that, at the moment, I am unable to read more than fifteen chapters in a sitting. It is, rather, a lot to take in and actually comprehend, in one sitting.

Especially since I tend to be a speed reader, and usually end up skimming, so I have to read the same chapter three or four times to make sure that I didn't miss anything.

Anyway, keep up the good work, and I love how you update so quickly.

ARMH chapter 16 . 2/20/2011
Great class. Driving the leg of a chair is sorta semi reasonable though as far as the task went.
Celebwen Telcontar chapter 16 . 2/7/2011
I... have a headache. Your story is slightly mind-bending.

Criss chapter 16 . 2/4/2011
I like you're Ender's Game reference? lol
Me chapter 16 . 1/26/2011
The enemy's gate is Rowling.

Ha, nice Ender reference. I'm enjoying your story very greatly so far, though I'm currently wondering whether it shall prove to be either serious or a spoof.
Tormuse chapter 16 . 1/12/2011
I think it's interesting that Quirrel awards Draco a house point for "demonstrating an exemplary virtue of Slytherin" but then takes a point away from Ravenclaw when Harry demonstrates a Ravenclaw virtue. Also, I would disagree with Quirrel's assertion that Hermione failed his test. I thought she was very effective in proving that her intelligence and ability don't make her dangerous.

Then again, Quirrel being evil as he is, that sort of hypocrisy should be expected, right? :)
Tangshou chapter 16 . 1/4/2011
I just can't help quoting some lines...

Blinded in a bolthole chapter 16 . 1/1/2011
I'd like to say it was interesting but it wasn't... it was kinda very shiny.

But it seems that Auntie, marrying Mr.V rather than Mr.D had more impact than I thought, for one Mr.Q sounds more like a S.A.S instructor than a possessed school teacher, which makes me ask "So... What else is new?"
Claymeister chapter 16 . 12/28/2010
Nice obscure Ender's Game reference at the beginning of Chap 16 in your omage to Rowling. I wonder how many people got that? ;)

Really enjoying your stuff. Obviously it is rough, but very creative and enjoyable and funny.
Gelacacine chapter 16 . 12/13/2010
I am impressed by Quirrel's speech, but McGonagal at least seemed to imply to Harry that the killing curse was "formed of pure hate" and doesn't seem like the kind of thing a good wizard could try... surely that would be common knowledge and if not Harry but other wizards (thinking Ron) would be um, a little bit outspoken against it, or if not outspoken, more scared, or sickened, not shocked?
w chapter 16 . 12/9/2010
Here we go again.

Here's a solution to the D N conundrum. D only _claimed_ to have burned N so that no further family attacks would happen. Still leaves open question what actually happened to her, but at least does not make D unreasonably evil.

Good things:

Minions. Recruitment. BTW it _is_ interesting how long Draco will manage to abuse CG here. "Loved.. get married" in both context.

Q rocks. But we all know that. The entire lesson is amazing.

It is weird H doesn't think of Milgram right here.

You use the word "sheer" quite often.

All of this chapter, really, is excellent.

One more note - I do hope H's thoughts about simulation when he got Time Turner mean you won't go meta with this. While "I'm in a book" is a reasonable answer to why magic works, it would be sad, I think, to break the 4th wall so much here.

Hope you're enjoying your hiatus.
Up hahahah chapter 16 . 12/5/2010
I like the little reference to Enders game
timunderwood9 chapter 16 . 11/23/2010
This is more related to Ender's Game than Harry Potter.
Cinnamon Selkie chapter 16 . 11/22/2010
I enjoyed Crabbe and Goyle's looming very much. Trying to imagine them "looming vigorously" was especially entertaining.

*Claps gleefully* This version of Quirrell is SO much more fun than the original. They might actually - Shock! Horror! - learn something in his class.

Like how to be good Death Eaters, perhaps. Or equally, how to become good Aurors. Cinnamon.
Kay chapter 16 . 11/15/2010
Am I evil for wanting Harry to be dark?
scuttlesworth chapter 16 . 10/27/2010
I am very very grateful that I was only drinking water when I read the bit about the wand. Water is ever so much easier to clean off your keyboard, desk, and monitor than anything else. And it did an excellent job clearing out my sinuses.
Multitaskmom chapter 16 . 10/20/2010
I'm in LOVE with this line:

"he loved his Time-Turner and someday, when he was old enough, they would get married."
Indigo Ziona chapter 16 . 10/17/2010
I adore all the Harry/Hermione competition in this chapter, particularly where Harry tries to imagine Hermione's face after learning that there will be no written homework :)

Laws of Physics, I'm coming to violate you!
Kutta chapter 16 . 10/8/2010
great chapter
LunaSlashSea chapter 16 . 10/6/2010
Nakedkali chapter 16 . 10/4/2010
Hmm, just who is it that it does remind Harry of?
malimed chapter 16 . 10/3/2010
i am simultaneously impressed and horrified by the way you have made this hilarious and horrifying at the same time. it's fantastic. : )
Another Lazy Rationalist chapter 16 . 10/2/2010
"God he loved his Time-Turner and someday, when he was old enough, they would get married."

... and I'll be both seizing with jealousy and crushed!

... unless I find my own special TT.
Eli Courtwright chapter 16 . 10/2/2010
Professor Quirrel's "one Killing Curse will bring it down" speech is my favorite thing in this entire story. You win.
AOEUIDH chapter 16 . 9/27/2010
Reread this chapter after reading through ch. 47. Big contrast between the early chapters and the later chapters. Early story is much more light-hearted. Rationality content is not no well integrated, comes off as more preachy. But I loved the introduction of Crabbe and Goyle. Thanks for the laughs.
Rebel Goddess chapter 16 . 9/20/2010
Harry being in love and having a three way wedding was hilarious. Loved Quirrell's very different speech. Harry's intent to kill is going to make his Light Lord Potter plan rather more difficult to implement. I figured he would pick himself. Excellent chapter.
FeepingCreature chapter 16 . 9/12/2010
"This wish will go to whoever has earned the most Quirrell points within all seven years."

Was this retconned while I wasn't looking? Or Plot Hole?
Serpent In Red chapter 16 . 9/12/2010
Ohhh, very interesting Defense class. You still have me wondering whose side Quirrell is on, of course. And gosh, too much "Despicable Me." I'm thinking of the yellow things when Harry says "Minions!"

Anyhow, Quirrell did make some sense. Harry did think more along the lines of killing someone. I do wonder how that's going to affect him in the future.

Greytune chapter 16 . 9/1/2010
This is totally random, but I just felt I needed to add an extra note.

I am not sure how long you're planning for this fic to be, if it's just First Year or an entire Seven Year Fic. (If so, then it is going to be LONG. And awesome.)

But whenever you reach Second Year, I am really looking forward to seeing your Luna. It's going to be epic.
Donteatacowman chapter 16 . 8/21/2010
"Harry looked at his mechanical watch, which read 11:23."

Oh geez, that's the second time that's happened to me in the last couple days. That is, it was 11:23 as I read that sentence and wrote the previous one. O_O At least it's incorrect inside the fic-verse this time.

For an actual commentary on the fic... very interesting point about Harry's focus on killing. I hadn't made a point of noticing that as he listed his options with the materials in the room. I wonder, why does he think that way?
Shura Magami chapter 16 . 7/7/2010
...Wow... This chapter just GRIP me. So WOW. I don't know what to comment... I just wanted to say... I bow to your ingenious...
James Birdsong chapter 16 . 6/23/2010
Horror chapter 16 . 6/17/2010
Add that to your genre instead of humor, really. I am scared as hell of you. I have read bdsm rape scenes less frightening than this. No offence, this is a great story and extremely well written but right now I just want to run away and attempt to *obliviate* myself. Or commit suicide. Has anyone told you that you are the most genuinely scariest person they have ever met? I've read full-on published horror novels and seen sensational horror movies with less creativity than this. I shall now try to suppress my memories as I stand in awe of this fic.
Plumbum chapter 16 . 6/17/2010
Ofunu chapter 16 . 6/16/2010
Erm...nothing against your story, but your Harry gives me headaches!
dogbertcarroll chapter 16 . 6/13/2010
Harry wanted to scream in triumph at the top of his lungs. I CAN DO MAGIC! FEAR ME, LAWS OF PHYSICS, I'M COMING TO VIOLATE YOU!


I have Sirius at one point describe magic as the art of cornholing reality.
Psalmy chapter 16 . 6/9/2010
Quirill is awesome/disturbing?
sastath chapter 16 . 6/7/2010
I'm a bit surprised at this chapter. Harry didn't bother to correct voldie on the most dangerous list. The adult wizard? Really? I mean muggles have nuclear weapons capable of destroying the magical world... hell the whole world I forget how many times over. No magic will save you from that.

Also microscopic organisms could wipe out all voldie listed off as well.
Mother of Tears chapter 16 . 6/2/2010
O LOVED the discussion concerning minions.
Apurv2009 chapter 16 . 5/22/2010
Now Quirrell is more creepy than Harry. Can u tell where ur story is going and do you have a plot.

What Harry wants to do who is the supreme controller of your of your universe.

I know your r twisting things here and there but they tend to confuse people . And I am one of them.

Please edit them or clarify it in A/N.
ShineX chapter 16 . 5/21/2010
Mr.Destructo chapter 16 . 5/21/2010
omg a review!
CeilingFan chapter 16 . 5/15/2010
Quirrellmort is my favorite. I like to think that if he'd just been hired as dark arts teacher to begin with, he'd never have bothered with all this revolutionary business. He'd just go around corrupting the kids.
Loonynamelass chapter 16 . 5/13/2010
I have got to go, for I've been reading this far too long today, but before I do I'd just like to say that this story is amazing in its perfection of development. I love how Quirrel is an actual teacher.

And I wish that J. K. Rowling let you publish this as a book. But that might never happen.

But still; this alternate universe is so fantastically detailed and performed that I wish I could form an ULTIMATE position in my favorites list for it.
darksidhe42 chapter 16 . 5/6/2010
The enemy's gate is DOWN! yes!

Umm... too bad about that one revew per chapter thing. I forgot to mention how unbelievably fantastic McG's first lesson was. You raised a point I wanted to shove down fanfic authors' throats so many times.
Quirrell's class was also amazing.

and I loved Draco's minions! The way they acted... too cool.
KrisTerms chapter 16 . 5/5/2010
So Voldemort is teaching. You portray him really well. Looking in, I can definitely see Tom Riddle teaching the way you are having him teach.
DoubleC chapter 16 . 5/3/2010
My hands are shaking, literally, I mean it, after that Quirrel chapter, so scary it was, and brilliant. Harry, don't give in!
A Bibliophile chapter 16 . 5/2/2010
Oh, wow. Psychopathic moment. I'm a little worried about Harry.
MegaB chapter 16 . 4/27/2010
"That the Sorting Hat decided to put me in the House of 'Slytherin! Just kidding! Ravenclaw!' and I've been acting accordingly."

And that is the single most-awesome use of a recycled plot-point I have ever read.

Have you read Artemis Fowl? For if you have, I think you should be writing that whole damn book, not Colfer.

...Though he's alright at it too.

Gumdropped chapter 16 . 4/24/2010
I just found this and am now already anxiously awaiting the next chapter! You've seemlessly molded canon with other, interesting character differences without diluting the Harry Potter world, and it's facinating! I can't wait to see how this pans out.
Adelaide 'Adell' Peirce chapter 16 . 4/23/2010
This is absolutely fascinating and I simply wish to read more.
Lord Patience chapter 16 . 4/23/2010
Holy shit batman. This is so good.

It is now 5am.
Girl Like Me chapter 16 . 4/23/2010
Ever since I read your story a week ago I've been spending my time thinking about logical ways magic would work. Where the energy was coming from, why did only some people have it. Apparently hereditary but can come about spontaneously. I've had such brain stimulation from your story and can not wait to read the next chapter. This is the most exquisite piece of work I have come across in a long time and really stands out to me. I love how Harry is working in all these muggle theories and is teaching me things along the way.

As a person who enjoys science and learning, I commend you for your creativity and new perspective that you have opened me to. Keep up the fantastic work.
DisobedienceWriter chapter 16 . 4/22/2010
I just discovered this story. Congratulations on such an uncommon, creative, driving story line. I like your rational, but insane Harry. I normally dislike slow paced tales, but you've filled yours with interesting bits even though its taken 16 chapters to get to the first week of school. I am excited to see where you take this story - and a smart Harry with a time turner, a Cloak of Invisibility, and a decent combat instructor.

Best wishes as you plot it out.
Scottish Ninja chapter 16 . 4/22/2010
Absolutely hilarious; I literally, actually, truly, in reality, fell off my chair laughing. Repeatedly.

I can't wait for Potions class; both for Harry's interaction with Snape and the concepts involved in Potionmaking. I wonder if he'll wonder the same things I did about the potential for the industrial production of potions.
Raven3182 chapter 16 . 4/22/2010
Excellent story so far! Every other attempt at making Harry smarter has always just removed any and all conflict from the story as Harry just bulldozes through each problem presented. You've managed to do a rare thing in making him very smart, but still met with challenges. And for all of his great genius, he is still very much an eleven year-old boy. Excellent work! I am definately adding this to my favorites! I eagerly await your next update! Thanks for writing!
MissOddity chapter 16 . 4/22/2010
Ah, finally! A Fanfiction that risks introducing two things that ought never see each other; magic and logic. Keep up the good work and update soon!
kadayao chapter 16 . 4/22/2010
OMFG! I freakin' worship you! I bow down to your greatness! This story is so freakin' hilarious that my laughs didn't sound normal. I keep making these weird hacking strangled noises instead! LOL

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Hugs and worships!

Heteroclite chapter 16 . 4/21/2010
wonderfully funny.
Elemental chapter 16 . 4/21/2010
I never read Harry Potter fanfiction, and I'm not much of a fan of the books. But I trust my friends, who know my tastes, and so when this was linked to me I gave it a quick shot.

I haven't laughed this hard in weeks.

*Thank you* for an amazing piece of fiction that is not only utterly brilliant to read, but also pokes at all the wonderful terrible issues that are in the Harry Potter World. You've done a fantastic job, and the mix of science and humor and humanity is spot on.

Please keep it up - I can't wait to read more - and I'll be sharing this with my friends as well.
Teal Deer chapter 16 . 4/20/2010
I would like to say first of all that I do not normally read fanfiction; and, more than this, I never read Harry Potter fanfiction. As a whole, I've found it dry, dull, and overall uncreative.

Except for this piece.

Madam (sir?), this entire story is absolutely brilliant. A vivid re-imagining of the Harry Potter universe which addresses many of the logic problems and inconsistencies in it in an entertaining and well-written fashion. I was riveted from chapter one, and this last bit has left me desperate for more. Your versions of the characters are all extremely well thought out, and I particularly like how you've made Draco likeable, but without falling into the typical fangirl trap of simply fawning over him.

I gleefully await more.
TxA-GunFighter chapter 16 . 4/20/2010
Very good chapter.

the element of freedom chapter 16 . 4/20/2010
actually, this whole chapter and harry altogether reminds me of ender wiggen.

sweet book, i knew you had some taste. lol
the element of freedom chapter 16 . 4/20/2010
ive already reviewed, but im doing it again.

i loved enders game. it is a amazing book. im only assuming youve read it because of ur comment the enemys gate is Rowling and hoping its not a coincidence. :)
Stume chapter 16 . 4/20/2010
great, love it, MORE! lol
Cassandra30 chapter 16 . 4/20/2010
Apparently LV taught that class. Whoo!
jboat1 chapter 16 . 4/19/2010
I am in awe of your creative and logical genius.
Guest chapter 16 . 4/19/2010
The number reviews tell the story. I've read a lot of ff, especially H/Hr. If you can maintain this level of originality, comedy and interest until the end, it will be quite an achievement. I laughed outloud many times. Unique story. Personally, I hope you don't do too much damage to my favorite non-Harry character: Miss Granger. Oh well, do what you must. I'm sure it will be great!

edddf chapter 16 . 4/19/2010
Im sure that nobody has ever done anything the same with Professor Quirrell and his Quirrell point system, though it is quite reminiscent of Slug club with a little twist and some spice on the side - which in Cannon, Riddle was apart of.

Your story is completely unique (though not really. hehe. (im a loser. i know)), and every chapter always keeps me guessing, laughing, and silently congratulating you on a job well done (no seriously really).

I swear im falling in love with your writing, with every single word you write. Which is the exact reason why I want to marry you. Honestly.

okay maybe not, but im contemplating it (though not really). lol

keep up the good work
Nameless chapter 16 . 4/18/2010
I do so love this story, I'm already properly panicked about the lack of immediate update. But I hope Harry will eventually change or at the very least condemn the kind of ingrained thought about rape Draco displayed—that was very hard to read for me.

Apart from that, thank you for this wonderfully amazing and unfailingly interesting piece of art!
Harriverse chapter 16 . 4/18/2010
Is it your belief that Harry is predisposed to go dark? Is it nature or circumstance? Are all brainiac's predisposed to go evil?
ByLanternLight chapter 16 . 4/18/2010
I am laughing constantly. This is a brilliant piece of of work. 5/5.
ennui deMorte chapter 16 . 4/18/2010
Wonderful chapter~!

I love all of Harry's ideas-and it worries me that I didn't even realize that Harry's ideas were all fatal when they didn't need to be.

Looking forward to more~
Anonymous is a pretty bad name chapter 16 . 4/18/2010
Last chapter... wtf? xD

This story rocks, by the way. It's definately going on my story watch. Not have you only created a brilliant and crazy Harry, but proved that you yourself are also brilliant and extremely crazy. The way you spout of magical theories... I get a feeling I'm in my physics class, and then I remember that NONE OF IT IS REAL. Only someone who completely fucked up in the head and cannot function properly in the real world can come up with that stuff...

I totally want to be like you when I grow up.
Jaded Jagged chapter 16 . 4/18/2010
When i read this chapter i couldn't help but make a list of was to kill all the harry potter characters. Great story its really creative.
NicNacs chapter 16 . 4/18/2010
Oh. My. God.

This is amazing!

Favourite scenes so far: Draco and Harry at Madam Malkin's, Draco and Harry at the train station, and the sudden realisation that Comed-Tea can see the future!

I'm really looking forward to reading the next installment. Keep up the good work!
Kirikiri Mai chapter 16 . 4/17/2010
If there's one thing about this fic, it's thought-provoking.
mastigo chapter 16 . 4/17/2010
How does quirrelmort know so much about harry?
Eileen Lufkin chapter 16 . 4/17/2010
elsmi recommended this in a conversation about magic and science here:


I'm really enjoying this a lot. Thank you.
Veltzeh chapter 16 . 4/17/2010
I just read the chapters up to the 16th, and I must say it's quite good, writing as well as the ideas. I'm not even really a fan of Harry Potter, but rationality is awesome.

That said, I felt like pointing out the few issues that I found somewhat odd:

1. I spent a while wondering what exactly Quirrell was so RIGHT about. I think I got it, but in my opinion, it could probably be clearer. Unless it was supposed to not be too clear.

2. I felt this 16th chapter was a little strange compared to the rest, specifically toward the end. Maybe it's Quirrell's fault.

3. The kids seem somehow more American and less British in their speaking style (mostly the very short lines). I'm totally not sure about this since I'm neither British nor American or even a native English speaker, but I tend to notice funny linguistic stuff like that. Maybe someone actually British could tell if I'm only imagining things.

That said, I've rather enjoyed this fic so far! Especially the humour.
clodiarisa chapter 16 . 4/17/2010
I can't say how much I enjoy this fic. Real science. Lateral thinking. Logical thinking. Plot. Crack. Characterization.

I truly envy and admire your mind. I am thoroughly enjoying it, and feel challenged as I read it.

Thank you.
anon chapter 16 . 4/17/2010
Is it just me, or was there a reference to the Milgram Experiment in this chapter?

"Let's find out, shall we?" said Professor Quirrell. He turned back to Hermione, and gestured toward the wider class. "Select any student you like and cast the Simple Strike Hex on them."

Hermione froze where she stood.

"Come now," Professor Quirrell said smoothly. "You have cast this spell perfectly over fifty times. It is not permanently harmful or even all that painful. It hurts around as much as a hard punch and lasts only a few seconds." Professor Quirrell's voice grew harder. "This is a direct order from your professor, Miss Granger. Choose a target and fire a Simple Strike Hex."

Hermione's face was screwed up in horror and her wand was trembling in her hand. Harry's own fingers were clenching his own wand hard in sympathy. Even though he could see what Professor Quirrell was trying to do. Even though he could see the point Professor Quirrell was trying to make.

"If you do not raise your wand and fire, Miss Granger, you will lose a Quirrell point."

Harry stared at Hermione, willing her to look in his direction. His right hand was softly tapping his own chest. Pick me, I'm not afraid...

Hermione's wand twitched in her hand, and then her face relaxed, and she lowered her wand to her side.

"No," said Hermione Granger.
Pathatlon chapter 16 . 4/17/2010
Nice :D
TealTerror chapter 16 . 4/17/2010
Man, I can actually SEE Voldemort teaching a Defense class like this. If he keeps it up for long enough, he'll have an entire damn student army under his control.

I also can't decide whether I want this Harry to go Dark or not-thinking he's "justifiably reforming Wizarding society" while killing scores of people, or something like that.

Or wait, maybe I have decided. I SO want to see that.

Chapter itself was great.
Vanessa chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
Hello, Ender.
SevereWrath chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
OK, your Quirrell is SO MUCH cooler than canon. And much more what I'd expect of Voldemort. He wanted the damn job, back in the day; it'd be silly to not take advantage of it.
Daybreaq chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
Wow! You really pissed off the math fans! It's a bit ironic: there was an ethnic slur in chapter 15; but the thing that offended a lot of people about the chapter was that a character suggested dividing by zero. I would think math fans would actually *enjoy* a math joke. It's been ages since I took calculus and I don't remember a thing and I still got the joke. Hermione was trash talking Harry: goading him that he'd NEVER get his books read. And he talked back: "I'll do it in the exact number of hours you took to do it!" (Though he's cheating with the time turner!) Of course, you got into more trouble by bringing up calculus in the AN. You probably should have just stuck with the whole point was that they were joking.

On the ethnic slur thing, I think a lot of people don't even realize "gypped" is an ethnic slur. I didn't until fairly recently. So there is no fault to the person who uses the word in ignorance. I think it's only when upon being educated about why a word or expression is pejorative, and the person decides they are going to continue to use the questionable word or phrase (especially when it's no huge sacrifice to avoid using it anyway) that it indicates a certain lack of empathy. I wouldn't necessarily say such a person is bigoted though I think a lack of empathy can certainly lead to bigotry. It's like accidentally standing on someone's foot but refusing to get off when the person yells that it hurts because you think you can somehow prove you never intended to hurt the person's foot by continuing to stand on it.

So as I was reading chapter 16, I was wondering about what it said about Harry's character that he used an ethnic slur in the previous chapter. It is possible Harry could just be ignorant ... but Harry is one of the least ignorant people in the world. He does though demonstrate a certain lack of empathy in general. Neville was right to criticize him. Hurting the person he's supposed to be "rescuing" reminded me of those spoofs about superheroes who are so arrogant they cause more harm than good. And I also think it was totally in character for Neville to stand up to Harry as well. He was shown in canon as perfectly capable of standing up to people when HE thought it really mattered. I think people forget Neville got into Gryffindor in canon (I like how you aren't really changing basic qualities about the characters just how different experiences bring out these qualities. So the sorting turns out to be about which qualities the child values and focuses more at the moment. Both Neville and Hermione got turned off Gryffindor on the train; but the fact that they weren't sorted into Gryffindor doesn't mean they still aren't brave.) for a reason and that bravery isn't really about not being afraid but more what you do despite being afraid. And I *loved* his "I think you are going to be really cool someday; but right now, you're not." Neville sees *potential* in Harry so therefore he felt it mattered enough to stand up to him. Back to the slur ... ultimately Harry only thought it; he didn't say it and he's certainly thought about much worse things ... like executing all the blood purists. I'm possibly making more of it than it is because I know "gypped" is an ethnic slur and I'm still not even sure you do. Still, what I'm trying to say, is I think Harry's use of one here DOES ultimately fit his character as it is at the moment.

Ok, now I'll actually talk about Chapter 16. When the hat talked about Harry having friendships that would essentially weaken his dark side, I immediately thought of Hermione. The outwardly most noticeable quality about Hermione in canon is her "braininess" but I think her most important quality is her uncompromisingly strong sense of morality. On the surface, she's a goody two shoes who won't break rules however, that's only because most rules also have good ethics behind them. If there's a rule that is unethical, Hermione has no qualms about breaking it. I'm so glad you show this quality about Hermione. Quirrell stated a very wrong assumption about her. She is perfectly capable of using violence when it REALLY matters. She set fire to Snape's robes when she thought he was the one who was causing Harry's broom to act erratically. She slapped Draco when he insulted Hagrid after also manipulating to get Buckbeak executed. And she had a painful, humiliating spell put on whoever betrayed the DA. What she *won't* do is cause pain to someone else to please a teacher, pass a test and get good grades. And pleasing teachers, passing tests and getting good grades matter A LOT to Hermione just not nearly as much as her ethics. She doesn't regret failing Quirrell's test.

Quirrell is obviously being controlled by someone though in a somewhat different way than in canon. The likely candidate is Voldemort but this can also divert from canon. I'll just have to wait and see. I do love the more effective, manipulative Quirrell! He pretty much manipulated the whole class around the whole goal of making Harry *seem* psychotic. With all this talk about Harry's darkness and perhaps slight weakness in empathy, I do believe your Harry still has a pretty strong conscience. It just needs to be nurtured more. Yes, Quirrell never stated lethal force was necessary when he asked Harry for his ten examples. However, the entire class up until then was a manipulation to that line of thinking. Harry didn't just jump to that line of thought on his own. It started with Quirrell changing the name of the course to "Battle Training." Quirrell's pointing out the uselessness of the current curriculum's focus on magical creatures instead of the threat from other wizards was just a distraction from the very important distinction that the course is ultimately supposed to be about *Defense* not offense. And then, he just went on from there. No talk about shields or canon Harry's favorite disarming spell. By the time he asked Harry his question, all thoughts were focused by then on hurting and yes, killing one's enemy in battle not best defending oneself and others from harm. It's an important distinction; and Quirrell manipulated Harry into forgetting it.
Wolfric chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
Good chapter. This is certainly a different Quirrel. Thanks for writing. W.
Suiadan chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
Very good fanfiction, please add more soon _
Vtll chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
The new Quirrell is fascinating. And his lessons are actually useful! Man I don't want him to be a bad guy!

And your Harry is scarry. And ingenius, though I have to agree that some of his methods are a little impractical. But, the competition with Hermione is very intersting, and his interactions with Draco make me laugh.

Well done!
anon-acct chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
I was very, very 'hm' about reading this fic... the idea sounded great but soapboxing about theories or concepts can come out so badly in fic.

But you had me by the end of chapter two. Even though it basically IS just a written out 'deconstruction' of the series, and not even a story at all. You've pulled it off with such dedication to the concept, and flair, and wit, I just couldn't stop reading! This is a seriously clever idea.

Most fic I read is to fill a small niche- something I think would be fun if it had been in canon. But this is like a whole different ballpark. Just... class of its own, wow.

I especially love how you're screwing with Harry's character. It's one of the most interesting AU takes on him I've ever seen.
JClayton chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
I'm so very intrigued by what you're slowly developing here, the relationships are rather twisted but still so enjoyable McGonagall is amazing.

Looking forward to the next chapter

Also, I found the use of italics in artificially adding emphasis to words very effective
Anonny nonny nonny chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
Wow, I really like this fic! :D I read it all in one sitting, so... comments I've saved up to post at the end.

Aw at Harry saying he *has* a mum and a dad. And at his reaction to hearing about his other parents, poor kid.

That's an interesting idea, that some of the money might be from bounties. I'm not sure where the money came from was ever really explained, was it? Not that it's inexplicable, but it's still nice to see justification like that.

Heehee, arbitrage. It *is* surprising for that not to be common (apparently?).

God, the bit with Draco in the robe shop had me in tears of laughter. ESPECIALLY when McGonagall came oh god. XD

I love how when he goes shopping it's like he's kitting up a D&D adventuring party. ...And aw at the healer's kit thing and the bits following it. :

Okay, I laughed at his longwinded buildup to explaining that he'd snagged some extra gold from his vault. Heh.

And at Fred's advice, too. :D

Oh, on Quiddich, though-they wouldn't have to get *rid* of the Seeker position. Just making the Snitch worth fewer points (say, 20 or 30 maybe) would do it. It would still be an important position, since choosing when the game ends is strategically valuable (and of course there would be a *lot* more circumstances where a Seeker doesn't want to catch the snitch because their team's behind by too many points, but the *other* Seeker catching it would be even worse, so they have to try to *block* them without catching it themselves!) but it wouldn't overwhelm the entire rest of the game.

Ahaha, so much love for the Order of Chaos bit.

That's an interesting idea about how the hat works. :O

I love Harry's horror at what he THINKS he did with the Comed-Tea.

...alright, the rest of this sucked me in so much that I neglected to take down comments. But, *wow*. I shall definitely be checking this to see when it updates!
Oval chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
You already have about a million reviews, so I doubt this will make much of a dent, but here goes. This is probably one of the best written fic I've ever read, and in another world, with some reframing, you'd have some excellent original fiction going. Because that's kind of what this is. This little boy isn't Harry Potter. Having him raised by a professor instead of a Dursley doesn't change that. He'd be a different boy if he'd been raised by kinder people or by his own parents, but his basic temperament would be the same - basically a fun, if lazy child, who enjoys challenges and sports, and prefers to rely on instinct.

The fact that you have him hanging with Hermione primarily, and have a lot of talk of logic and reasoning makes me think of this as a fix-it fic. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, and like I said, this is extremely well-written. It's a great take on the characters, a very different, enjoyable one. I guess I just wanted to register my opinion that people in general, and fictional characters specifically, have a certain personality and temperament they're born (or created) with. You change that, and you're dealing with a completely different person. This might as well be "The Logical Boy Goes to Hogwarts".

In any event, keep up the good work. This is a very promising story.
Starlight Chibi-chan chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
what...just happened? 0_o
Arcadia chapter 16 . 4/16/2010
This entire story is made of epic win. It is hilarious (poor McG), Harry, Hermione, and Draco all have great characterizations and I love the fact that Voldemort is teaching the class through Quirrel's body. I can not wait to see how Harry juggles Hermione and Draco, and as a die-hard Hermione fan I'm rooting for her to win the war. Great story!
j hellfire chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Hehe you should have harry name his time turner

Great chapter!
jm chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
I have been wondering. Why did you give him such a lenghty sleeping cycle? It couldn't just have been so he could get the time turner unless there's another reason why he needs the time turner? I also think that Quirelmort is trying to discredit Harry within the school by showing him as a potential dark lord. I mean the question was misleading I would also have thought he were asking how to permantly deal with an opponent. It's not like Voldemorts sheep will be using stinging hexes on anyone.
Nongarak chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Wow. Wow. What a chapter. I'm glad to see Quirreldlemort isn't a gigantic pussy like in the real books. Pretty hardcore motherfucker. Well, great job on challenging and alienating Harry! I can't wait to see how this plays out.

Bayes' Theorem makes my brain hurt.
jjeeff185 chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
I live this story so much and you even referenced the Milgram experiment in such a obtuse manner in a way that it seems at least in battle situations that listening to overwhelming authority is actually the right thing to do! So amazing!
Luiz4200 chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
And then a flock of Ravenclaws descended on him and the discussions began.

Descended on him? What did they do?

Please update.
LoireLoa chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
LOL... Harry is a budding sociopath. Why he doesn't see it, I don't know.
Lord Jeram chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Well, personally I like unconventionally written classes. Especially in first year. I like overwrought explicative meanderings on the intricacies of the canonical underpinnings. I don't like overindulgence on cliches for no reason or having a story that veers too far in any one direction aimlessly. This is not a purely parodying story. This is not a purely dramatic story. Thus, instances of extremely, take-you-out-of-the-moment silliness are a bit jarring. It is easier to handle from the other direction.
Rihtan chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Congratulations, assuming its Voldie running Quirrel you have made a Dark Lord that I actually find terrifying. Unlike the melodramatic sucker in the cannon books.
Fandom Butterfly chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
This was an *extremely* interesting chapter, especially that last little bit with Quirrell. And honestly, I thought along the same line as Harry. When I think combat, I think killing the enemy before he kills you. Defensive uses never even crossed my mind. You had a very tense little scene there, very well written. :)
Makurayami Ookami chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
haha, well written.
um chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
umm what happened? this story just abruplty changes its tone and feel for no reason? if youve taken a brake for to long or something yo need to do a rewrite!
That Damn Anon chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Your math is weak.

But your lulz, they are strong.
Katamabob chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Was Voldie actually directly controlling Quirrel? 'Cause when they met in Diagon Alley, Quirrel was his usual, nervous, stuttering self. Actually, that was all an act, as it turned out, wasn't it? But why has he completely given up that disguise of his? It was the slumping thing that made me think of possession or control of Quirrel more than that.

If I were Harry's classmates I would be seriously creeped out. He has a strange mind. And Draco's a jackass who should've gotten hexed. Karma a la Harry :D

zackubernerdcondon chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
when Harry was getting excited about Vodlie's teaching methods it gave me a shiver up my spine.
jdboss1 chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
good at his job but i wood in want be in a clas if Quirrell was there

I wood of shot me 2 then any one there
major wallace chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Pax Agrona chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
The first part of the "who is the most dangerous" game reminds me of milligrams experiment, I know you showed people why harry is so dangerous but at the same time you also showed that Hermoine and Harry in a lesser, but more cunning way are strong minded individuals.

Your story has some good parts but you should reread it all sometimes because, while most of it is good, some parts have another style then others which gives the story a somewhat patchwork feeling. I think the guys at DLP said that in their own blunt way.

Your Harry is very perfectionist, he seems to fear going bad, but failing is worse, I wonder how he's going to grow out of it. Your quirrel-lesson is unethical. The ministy clamped down on normal DADA lessens in 5th year, and the way quirrel seems to try to make students hurt eachother is something I can't even see Dumbledore agreeing with. I hope some problems are going to be created in that corner.
Packbat chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Immensely impressive writing. HJPEV's nature has been clarified in a valuable way, here - Professor Quirrell's analysis is correct right up until "Just kidding - Ravenclaw!"

The subtle point of Harry stopping before the dais is nice as well.
hjcallipygian chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
You know what I love most about this chapter? Voldemort is a good professor. I mean, he's a genius, no doubting it, and he probably has an understanding and control of magic that is beyond the grasp of 99.9% of the population, yet he can still distill an idea down to its basics and make eleven-year-olds understand it. Very, very dangerous - that's why he has followers, most likely. He relates to others well, or at least fakes it well.

Have you read "Oh, No, Not Again" by Sarah1281? In that story, her Harry HATES the House Cup and Point system, and tries really hard to lose the cup for Gryffindor. It's quite funny. I have to admit, I really thought your Harry would be anti-House-Cup system because he'd see it as something like the Child Draft.

Great story so far. I'm really enjoying it. Thank you very much for taking the time to write it!
Pusakuronu chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
*gasp* A Quirrel who is not useless! That must mean that it's really Voldemort teaching!
The French Dark Lord chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
If only Quirell had been such a teacher in ANON vOLDEMORT WOULD4VE NEVER STOOD a snowball chance in hell!
Meteoricshipyards chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
The "puppet" Quirrell is a rather disturbing image; the fact that Harry got some sort of warning about it is strange.

One thing I was thinking (and was surprised that Harry didn't think it) was during Quirrell's speech, he kept using the killing curse as the solution to all problems; it was almost out of character for him to later tell Harry that there was a time for killing and a time not to.

Still an excellent story.

Tom A.
Jonii chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
It seemed mildly out-of-place how Harry had such awful ideas for using stuff for combat. Suffocating people, collapsing the ceiling and stabbing with the wand were nice ones, the rest seemed to bend the rules and be generally awful(Removing the floor or the air doesn't really count as using those as a weapon, since you attack by removing those, the lethal force lies within the spikes in the case of removing the floor anyway, and those didn't seem to be around.

Even the point of the whole execrise seems mildly pointless, when you have this abstract situation of "battle", you need to fill in the blanks before you start devising stuff, and with little combat experience that process might be biased or difficult to do, and it still doesn't have anything to do with ingenuity when encountering a real problem. Of course, Quirrel wanted to point out the intent to kill, but it's a bit short-sighted of both Harry and Quirrel not think of it in steps. If Harry wanted to kill, you could use some item to momentarily confuse the opponent, which should come into a mind of our young genious. So overall, Harry seemed to act dumb, Quirrel seemed to have similar, dumb'esque mindset and things didn't really seem to fit in.

Also, you can't divide by zero. Division by zero is simply not defined. If limit converges, you can get neater graph if you define that point yourself, to get nice, continuous function over that zero-point, but that's new, piecewise-defined function, original division by zero is still not defined. Sure, often this approach gives us the properties we're interested in, but it's just not the same as actually having division by an actual zero(contrast this to being divided by infinitesimal) being anything but undefined.
Heidinanookie chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
hm... I had problems following the last two chapters (which might be due to another fanfic I've been reading in the meantime). Anyway, what "condition" is Draco talking about before he leaves Harry to find seats in DADA? I clearly missed out on something here.

Also, it's really creepy to see Voldemort teaching a class - and effectively so, though Hermione is the only one who manages to see his instructions for what they really are: plain evil.

OMG, I'm shocked right along with the class! Harry and Voldemort aka Quirrel are going to become REALLY good friends because they understand each other so well and Harry is clearly dark-lord-material through and through so that's not really surprising. I WAS taken aback, though, by how much sheer violence Harry can think of if asked to use his imagination. This is stuff I'd never consider and I'm more than twice as old as he is!

You've driven Harry a bit too far in my point of view. His character is rapidly losing sympathy-points. He did manage to save some of them by choosing himself as the target of his hex but that's not nearly enough to make up for his violent and imperious nature. He's a control freak who wouldn't be above hurting somebody for his goals. A bit like Dumbledore, really, but much more like Voldemort. Unless you plan to make this a Dark!Harry-story, I'd say it is time to show some of his more endearing personality traits.

Can't wait for the next chapter!

Celestial Moonwalker chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Well, if your enemy isn't dead than you must be doing something wrong. And it's much safer to eliminate a threat rather than suddenly come up against it AGAIN some time into the future.

And the ideas were pretty good too.
Wonderbee31 chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Wow, Voldemort has done more here to get the others to be spooked by Harry now than Harry did in his second year, and enjoyed seeing how Hermione and Draco were, as well as the chat Harry had with Draco and the bookends, especially their attempts to loom, which they may be getting trained in from their Da's.
Intelligo chapter 16 . 4/15/2010

Inner darkness is always a fun plot point.
Pink Bismuth chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Your Quirrell seems much more dangerous then the original.

Oh and the line "I CAN DO MAGIC! FEAR ME, LAWS OF PHYSICS, I'M COMING TO VIOLATE YOU!" was just hilarious, just brilliant. I laughed so hard at that!
Stinuli chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
I loved this chapter! :)

Harry's not so innocent. :D

Voldi as Quirel rules!

Cant wait for more!
Antares Starfire chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Hm... Your Quirrel is vicious. I like it.

Even so, my natural suspicion for this particular character - raised both from cannon and from too many fanfics where he is possessed by Voldemort - makes me wonder if it wasn't actually the Dark Lord teaching that class.
KGB chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Did you purposely lead Harry into the attacking mindset? Because the chapter start with, killing curse this and that, then they're thought to attack with a spell and some people get pointed out who've got to attack other people. Then it's Harry's turn and he's accused of a killer mindset, when his mindset is only depraved. If you can throw another person hard enough to kill someone, why not throw your own fist? Why use Hufflepuff bones when you can use their quills? Why sell someone's organs when you could just sell the person (ok, maybe that one isn't better, but probably more profitable)? Is there some kind of spell involved making Harry choose the most gruesome ways? Even if those are his inner most thoughts, he'd be stupid in telling that before his classmates.
Mathematician chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Your AN's is wrong. If in 4 days you read 0 books, then your daily book count is not 4/0 but 0/4. Think of it like this: if in 4 days you had read 12 books, your daily book count would have been 12/4 3.

Then, by your logic it should have been 8*0/4 0, which also makes intuitive sense, as if one doesn't read at all, he's never going to read. Maths isn't really that easy to twist around with words and language as many people think. There are hard and fast rules.

That said, nice story.
shenmi meiren chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
your quirell is rather... interesting

erik chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
A very ingenious chapter.
Arysthae chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Wow! That was some really cool deduction methods. I liked the way Professor Quirrel actually seemed like a competent teacher here. I like the style in which he talked, he explained the answers simply and easily but Quirrel sounds a lot like the fake Moody here...
badkidoh chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Another great chapter.
Sable Rose chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Your portrayal of Quirrell was hilarious, and I loved the whole 'most dangerous student in the classroom' scene. Poor Harry, seems like he really is a psychopath in the making.
lilyoftheval5 chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
You have brightened my day. Tremendously.

I don't know which impressed me more - the bodyguard exchange or Harry the Most Dangerous One revelation.

Thank you so very much.
borsic chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
Very interesting, although I wonder what the rest of the faculty will think of Professor Quirrel teaching a bunch of eleven-year olds to kill...
SensiblyTainted chapter 16 . 4/15/2010
I thought the time turner could only be used once a day? Or was that only six hours a day, and he could breakdown the uses several times as long as it didn't exceed six hours?

Much more scene setting. It was GREAT!

Maybe punctuation in: "What are you doing in... oh my god, you have minions."

His watch read 11:23? He used the turner to go to the future?

I agree with Harry, if he wasn't being sacrastic anyway, about it going to be fun juggling Draco and the Slytherins. At least I will thoroughly enjoy reading it.

I thought you were making the students fewer? So how many first years are there? I woudldn't think they'd need to use screens to see the professor. Still a cool image, though.

I think it is anti-Apparation ward, not jinx... maybe... And it's Apparation. Apparition means ghost.

I think I agree with Harry. I LOVE Quirell/Voldie. I'm actually hoping he doesn't succomb to the curse and be burned to death at Harry's hand. haha

That would be Harry. Big grin!

Killing may not be what you're about, but it is a quality you possess. Which in a child is a bit disturbing, but if I was fighting next to you or depended on you to protect me, I'd be really greatful.

Harry should have cursed Quirell, though it served a good example that Harry isn't evil if he's capable of self-sacrifice.
Zicou chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Awesome chapter!

Whats up with Quirrel, has he Voldy in his head ?

Thats a bad start for harry, now he is going to be categorized in the dark lord in training category :)


Blu-writer chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I normally don't write reviews for works of fanfiction, but yours has continued to awe me. The past few chapters in particular are exceptionally well written. Your ideas about how the transfiguration class and Defence dwarf anything that Rowling herself could come up with.

Bravo I say, bravo.
phoebe turner chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
amazing chapter!
lixieh chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Without a doubt, this is THE best Quirrel ever written. In fact, it's THE best portrayal of a Hogwarts professor ever written.
cheekylildevil chapter 16 . 4/14/2010

It's true, he is dangerous.

Great Chapter,

Memories-of-the-Shadows chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
What I don't think Harry understands right now is that even with his ingenious ideas, there is always the option not to use them or use them in a different way. Look at Moody-the real one-look at Sirius in canon. They both have killing intent, but it's a matter of choice.

Personally, I think that Harry lacks (not-so-)common sense. That's okay. Lot's of people do.

(Rationality is not the same as common sense)
the true elec chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
You just managed to make Quirrell one of my favourite teachers at hogwarts, from just above Umbridge and Binns. That takes some damn good writing ability and ideas. I'm also really liking Harry being forced to look at how he could be seen, and the worry that causes him.
ejhawman chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Another awesome chapter!


"Minions! You have minions! Where can I get minions?" Indeed, what's a Dark lord without his minions?

Love the reworked DADA class. I'm not sure if there is an actual scene in the books showing Quirrell in action, but this has to be a radical departure.

Most DADA classes in the books seem to be about dealing with dangerous magical creatures and less about dealing with dangerous magical PEOPLE. But eleven years old is a good time to learn that the most dangerous predator is always Man.

Agree with some reviewers that dragons should have some resistance to the Killing Curse. But that's a minor point.

I doubt Quirrellmort would be teaching non-Slytherins so well if he didn't feel confident of taking over the magical world before some of them become Aurors...

About Harry thinking offensively rather than defensively: I think it was more that he was just put in that frame of mind, led on by Quirrellmort. If he'd been led to thinking defensively, he would have given defensive uses.

Yes, there is a good bit of Ender Wiggin in this Harry.

Rest up, write at your own pace. Wouldn't do to sacrifice quality for throughput.
shiro-wolfman-k chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
This chapter was different, really different, I liked That, please dont be afraid to take another routh just, because somes don't like to read other thing than a canon redone.

I liked this because is different, not because is the same has others, that only use what JKR says and dont do anymore.
ARedHair chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
An AU Quirrel/Voldemort with Voldemort strong enough to truly possess Quirrel and teach DADA his way.

I'm torn. Its a very interesting take on how Voldemort would teach DADA, but its a distraction from the original AU element of how a different (upbringing for) Harry would affect the story line.
firedraygon chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Each chapter is just so exciting! Haha, I love how Harry just decides to marry things and random people. And Quirrell is so awesome in this, completely unexpectedly! Fantastic work, please write more soon!

morriganscrow chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Vigorous looming...
Ijoan chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
This is really great. I'm looking forward to more. :)
Katsheswims chapter 16 . 4/14/2010

That was intense. I don't know exactly what to think.

There is a mix of humor and not horror, but darkness? to this story.

And I like all the scientific knowledge. I know some of it, and I like learning more. And it's not too much.

I can't wait to read more.
iota0000 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Wow... when you bounce back you do it with exquisite style. That was extraordinarily badass. Mad props.
wolf550e chapter 16 . 4/14/2010

"which are heavy enough to be fatal enough to be dropped from a great height" - I don't like the wording. Should be "... to be fatal if dropped from..."

RE: intent to kill. You should give credit to Orson Scott Card for creating the character of Ender Wiggin.
Anderfail chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Limits are a totally separate aspect of mathematics. In simple math, division by zero is impossible. Obviously limits are a different story, but that's why they are limits and not actual definitive integers.

Division by zero in limits can either mean the limit diverges and goes to infinite or it converges on a certain number depending on the function.

Yes, we all know how smart you are, but please tone down the pretentiousness it gets a little old especially when it's becoming more and more obvious that your Harry is just an extension of yourself.
Arkeus chapter 16 . 4/14/2010

Both this and the bit about hermione granger in leaky cauldron makes me think it could be a kind of time travel fic (if it wasn't Mcgonagall saying it).
Parselmaster chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I like his brand of creative thought. Very different from canon.

Your style is unique. I like it quite a bit.
arriana rose Cullen chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
omg harry marry a time turner and quirrell more acuratly know as voldemort hahahahahahahahaha omg I love ur story update soon
PeanutTree chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Whoa! I need to go find my mind.
hi chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Majin Hentai X chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
That was brilliant. Your not just inserting rational Harry into vague drama infected Hogwarts.

Your giving the the detail and explanations that every intelligent person who ever read the book wanted to hear.
stonegnome1 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Who would have thought it. Dark arts by Moldyshorts.

Not really related to this chapter but it might be interesting if Harry found himself in a position where he had to accept that peoples illogic had to be accepted as a legitimate variable in dealing with a problem, I.E they do not care what the correct answer or logical behavior should be they only care how they feel about it. I suspect everyone has faced this problem with members of the opposite gender whichever it is.
deitarionSSokolow chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
*grin* Beautiful job on the originality of non-Quirrel's class. Another excellent chapter.

I do wonder what aspect of Harry's personality lead to the "intent to kill" part though. It just feels off somehow to have your Harry so suited to becoming a dark lord.
gaila chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Thank you for another chapter.

Your description of Quirrel is interesting. It sounds almost as though he has been Kissed, and someone's-probably Voldemort's-soul has temporarily taken over his body. Aside from avoiding the indignity of spending a year under a turban, Voldemort would also be able to teach DADA, which was important to him. Actually, I wonder if V would be able to inhabit Q's body indefinitely... it would be easier to take over the wizarding world as a respected teacher than as a known terrorist and social pariah.

Or is it maybe possible to cast the imperius curse on a Kissed body?

Draco's Minions funny. Seriously, though, I like the acting explanation. It's kind of hard to imagine two 11-year-olds as body-guards.

The lesson itself was fascinating, although somewhat disturbing. I suspect that Harry's use of logic would lead to better real-world results if he factored emotions into his decision-making. (He also might be a bit kinder and humbler...)

And while Harry *did* come up with offensive rather than defensive ideas, I suspect that Quirrell's conclusion is incorrect. It is simpler to develop offensive ideas than it is to guess what an opponent might do and to develop defensive strategies to counter those moves. Even if Harry had a good understanding of the physical rules of the magical world, he would still have to go through the extra step of figuring out what offensive moves his opponent might employ before he could develop counter-tactics.

Still, Quirrell did an excellent job of drawing Harry in. He appealed to logic and used apparently well-constructed arguments.

At the end, is "WRONG DON'T BAD IDEA" something that Harry actually hears, or is he just thinking? I suspect it's the latter, but it's a bit unclear in the reading.

I can't wait to read what happens next!
Innortal chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Good job once again for building you new reality.
deletingaccounttt chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Nice save, on Harry's part. Will it work, though?

Not-Quirrell has totally highlighted some of what is wrong with Harry.
Bobboky chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
very good work
Vah4 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Beyond awesome.
witowsmp chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
That was the most unique Quirrel lesson I've ever seen. I enjoyed it. I thought Harry would hex Quirrel.

I look forward to the next lesson.
jojobevco chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
SROTU chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
The enemy's gate is down.

Poor Harry, destined to be a Dark Lord...

Excellent writing as always. I never know what to expect, and it's highly entertaining -
DarkHeart81 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I forgot to mention something in my review of the previous chapter, why would McGonagall's classroom have whiteboards and markers instead of a chalkboard? a whiteboard doesn't really fit with the wizarding world being behind the times. I hadn't even seen one in a classroom until my last couple years in high school, which was in the late 90s.

This chapter... It doesn't sit right with me. I think it's Harry jumping right to things that could be done to kill in combat. For an 11 year old to think of them... Those who give themselves over totally to knowledge and logic can be very cold in how they deal with those that stand in their way but it doesn't feel right for it to be so extreme in Harry's case.
karmcmahon chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
DAMN BUT THIS WAS GOOD. I had been worried for a while, but now im certain this story will be one hell of a good thing by the time its done. i love the tagline.
He Who Comes With the Dusk chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Oh my, this is certainly going to be fun. Every chapter this story gets better, and this new and improved (IMHO) Quirrell is going to be amazing.

Just a quick note about the whole division by zero thing:

Yes, you *can* divide by zero, but not for the reasons you stated. You can divide by zero in calculus, due to the extension of the reals to include infinity (ie, the real projective line).

The machinery of limits and calculus are not used in such a case as 8 * (4/0), in which case you would get 8 * . The reason that you can use limits is specifically because they AVOID dividing by zero! They get *infinitely close to* zero, but never actually divide by it, due to quite a few issues. Mere arithmetic does not invoke such complex things, and as such dividing by zero is treated as taboo, because it produces answers using infinity, which are useless for more than a few reasons.

So basically, 8 * (4/0) is not a limit, therefore does not exist.

Even if it were (say, let the zero be x, and take the limit as x approaches 0, the limit does not exist, because it is different from the left or the right.) For further information, see the wikipedia entry on division by zero.

Sorry if that above argument seemed a little angry, and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong; in fact, please do. I have been severely mislead if this is the case!

But still, fantastic story and chapter!
Linnorria chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
"Also Harry was in love. It would be a three-way wedding: him, the Time-Turner, and Professor Quirrell."

And that is why this story is amazing. Because it has never been done before. :D Thank you. You have me both laughing and thinking.
wizzardofoz chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
There is no longer any doubt in my mind that this is one of the best fanfiction of all time.
JoshuaZ chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Minor typo "Harry stared at Hermione, willing him to look in his direction" Unless there's something about Hermione's gender that's been changed in this story, that should be "him."

Other than that another excellent chapter. I have a good feeling that this universe's version of Lord Voldermort will be exactly what a Dark Lord should be: so charismatic that even when you know he's the Dark Lord he's still persuasive. This bodes very well.
WaxWings chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Again your update schedule is quick and appreciated. This chapter demonstrates that your story is AU not only because of Harry's Rational viewpoint, but for other elements as well. Personally, I prefer stories that follow a natural progression from only a limited number of changes from canon.

Thanks for the update, and keep them coming.
nxkris chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
very interesting chapter. i love that harry came up with those idea's but was then taught that he was to focused on killing. update soon.
Psychedelic Sunshine chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I love that Harry wants to enter a three way marriage with Quirrelmort (term stolen from some other story I read). I really enjoy your writing and the fact that Harry is smart, but still has faults. It makes things so much more interesting!
MrRobertsIII chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Like this Quirrell very much. More please.
J-Kid chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Hah! This was FUN. Quirrellmort had a very good lesson, and I loved his demonstration of the stinging hex scene. Hm. I wonder what Snape's potion lesson will be like, if it will be different or cover the same material? . . . . I can't wait to find out. :-)
Allen Pitt chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I like that in this story Voldemort is not only more active, but a lot smarter. He couldn't have become the feared Dark Lord of memory if he didn't have a lot on the ball. He's after a lot more than just the Stone. And boy is that Time Turner going to be dead useful to HP.
TenshiReike chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Epic Class.

I think it's one of your best chapters so keep up the good work!
Innomine chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Just wanted to note that i've enjoyed the last few chapters that you've put out.

You seem to of finally gotten some consistency in what you intend to do. I thought Quirrels lesson was superbly done, in all honesty, I haven't seen a defense lesson like that before. Well done, I look forward to more.
Sarah chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Oh man, I don't even want that to be Voldemort. I like him.

I like the way you have your classes set up. The minion seen between Harry and Dracocompany was cute.


How did you make something that should be dull exciting? I really like this first class.
everetza chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Awesome chapter. I'm really enjoying this now, it's my daily dose of fun thinking humor! ;)
Violet Shadows chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Amusing, when he was starting to get going I got a real Princess Bride feel 'I've only just begun!'
November 5th chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Uh, wow.

I've seen this idea before, read it, reviewed the good stories and the bad alike.

At least that's what I thought, four hours ago. A marathon read because your story wasn't good, it was exceptional!

Plot, humor, drama, science (and not just science, but SCIENCE! in some cases), voice, quality writing, convincing characters!

All of this and more with enough familiar pieces to make a story that could very easily have been horrible off base with the original body of work feel familiar while you took it in your own direction.

Of course, it helps that several parts appealed to my inner megalomaniac. ; Gleeful cackling doesn't exactly lend to polite conversation, but I'll be damned if I could repress that particular urge.

Admiration aside, I do have one question.

Why isn't Petunia dead?

I'm terribly curious what Lily did to her sister at the beginning of the story. The foreshadowing with everyone telling Lily not to be kind to her sister was very well done, but the description you provided then and the information we have now lead to an odd idea. It seems Lily transfigured something internal and it made Petunia very sick, but it worked...

Or, it could have been a Charm or something else entirely we haven't heard about yet. It just didn't sound like it taken as a whole, so I'm a little curious.

This is definitely going on the favorites list, I shall wait for the next chapter with baited breath!
uo-chou chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Interesting. What is up with Quirrell, I wonder? I look forward to reading more. Seriously, I like Harry; when Quirrell asked Harry for examples of items to use for offense, I instantly thought of murder as well. Keep up the excellent work!
aalens chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
You may be even more brilliant than your Harry. BTW I love all your departures from canon - why re-write the books.
SomeGuyFawkes chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Lovely scene with Crabbe and Goyle. :)


Grindelwald never was sorted by the sorting hat. He went to Durmstrang.


I like this new, John-Wayne-ish Quirrell. It's still not clear if he has the ugly, talking scalp infestation. But, Voldemort has crippled the DADA instruction for decades. If he's guiding Quirrell, why the change of heart?


It seems doubtful that one Killing Curse would stop mega beasties like dragons. Especially when a bunch of trained, presumably hardened, wizards are killed by various critters (nundu, chimera, etc) before they can kill the beasties.

I seem to remember that Rowling even said that the killing curse didn't work on the worst beasts, but a quick search has yet to recover that interview.


}} "I'm not a psychopath, I'm just very creative"



Good chapter; thanks for the update.
f2ty243y34u3u chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I like your Quirrell, so much more useful and interesting than in canon. But this sort of came out of left field - why is he so different than from canon? I look forward to finding out. Also, the various unaccustomed uses for items in the classroom bit was amusing and very creative.

Another excellent chapter from you.
LOL chapter 16 . 4/14/2010


Seriously though that was the very first thing I'd thought of when I started reading this. Magical Battle School. And lo and behold...
Entropic Specter chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
That was most... interesting. Colour me amazed once again. I'm afraid there's nothing more useful I could say at this point. Very, well, proceed.
Winoniel chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Great chapter! The logic and creativity that Harry displays makes for entertaining reading, and makes me bewail the incurious, lackadaisical boy in JKR's world.

I also really like the image of Harry having his own flaws and issues. It makes sense that if he has new abilities, he would also have the emotional baggage associated with them.

This is also really funny!
The Sinful chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Well that was cool as hell.
gwern chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I deeply enjoyed the name-a-weapon game and Quirrell's point about killing intent, but I'm not sure those are deep enough lessons to be worthy of Voldemort's first lesson. And doesn't canon say that the Killing Curse doesn't always work on creatures, even when a wizard can cast it?

And for Christmas - just before the Christmas break - I will grant someone a wish.

Nitpick: 'boon' is more Pottery, I think, since it's not an actual wish from a genie or something.

"That the Sorting Hat decided to put me in the House of 'Slytherin! Just kidding! Ravenclaw!' and I've been acting accordingly."

Possibly clearer if '...the House of Slytherin-just-kidding-Ravenclaw'. I mean, if real nobility can carry around names like Saxe-Coburg-Gotha. And by eliminating the white space, it parses more easily - I had to examine the sentence twice before I finally figured it out.

MisterTabi: yes, of course Eliezer has read _Ender's Game_! That goes without saying.
minhoto chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Harry's calm description of using anything/everything in the class was hilarious.

Odd thing is I've walked into classrooms/work/home/etc and examined possible escape routes and potential weapons for scenarios ranging from home invasion to zombie apocalypse (it could happen).
Thenchick chapter 16 . 4/14/2010

i love the ideas of how to kill
Katara97 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Voldemort is fulfilling his dream of teaching...

Peak of Truimph chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Hm, well that certaintly is creative i suppose. Generally though, people who can think of alot of wrong ideas aren't useful as harry would put it fulfilling the task effectively, rather than going out of the way to prove something that wont help its successful completion. Such as stating lots of impractical ways to complete a task. Ill also point out that harry's "censors" as you put it might be on and instead of thinking of practical ways thought of impractical ways because they were inconcieveable and thus he couldnt ever see himself doing it.

Another point to plausilby concede is that harry's mind just WORKS. really fast. and that he investigates at rapid speed EVERY idea that goes through his mind. Even if he doesnt do most of them (or else it would start with him getting his letter in juvy lol).

Oh, and harry should be worried. Its a little creepy that he was using THOSE ideas. Mostly the ones with the students. The rest were alright thinking. Curiously, i wouldve thought he would be a bit more rule breaking with transfiguration. Since Mcgonagal spent an entire lecture probably unintentionally stimulating the possiblities of bad transfiguration in harrys mind lol.

I could go on, but that wouldnt be cool. I LOVE THIS STORY!
HJP265 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I...I just...i just...ehm...yeah...aha...don', do...maybe...certainly love this story

every chapter leaves me with a feeling of...hmm...I don't know how to say it best...I am just amazed

usally I can predict the plot of a story; not only fanfics but everywhere, it doesn't matter if it's a plot in a movie or a book...I am just good at it... I can even predict how people will react to a certain plot sometimes (I am not braging, I just think the most things are, not exactly, but quite predictable, because most people are quite predictable, me too)

but not with this story,it feels like it's something new is the right word. It's kinda like I never read, whatch or expirienced something before. Okay maybe not quite so drastic... because they are parts in your story where you can see what will happen next, but that are minor parts which are for everyone obvious (like that he would get a Time-turner...or that he would be the most dangerous student in the class), but still...I really like that (the not able to see what will happen next part I mean)

what I'm trying to say is that for me this story feels unique

(I can't say if it is truly unique because for that I would have to read every fic that exists and I won't do that)and I just love this story

so thanks for writing it and for uploading it so fast...that's also one thing I really like about this story...the fast uploading (*hint,hint*)

(by the way sorry for my english...I know it's wuite disasterous, but I hope you can understand what I'm trying to say...but then again not even I know what I'm trying to say O.o)

damn that was a long review...
Armadillosky chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I don't know what the fuck you just did why you did it or how it happened but it was freaking hilarious!
tatewaki2000 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
How wonderful!


Great Chapter!
Tiky3000 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
That was very nicely written. I could feel the tension in the room when Harry started listing ways to kill of his classmates. It seems the sorting hat is proven smarter by the hour. And so shortly after Harry's declarations not to become dark.

What's up with Quirrell I wonder? Is the possession a bit intenser in this story? Is he even possessed? Is he just naturally awesome?

Questions, questions...
troyguffey chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Wow. Again. Wow.

This Quirrel is DAMN GOOD!
AngelForm chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
I like this Quirrell.

Not sure about the killing curse working on dragons. In almost all legends they are either massively resistant or outright immune to direct magic.

Very interesting lessons.

Also of note are the thought on what the virtues of the houses are.

One final note, thinking back on chapter 15:

Can gasses and liquids be safely changed into solids?
MisterTabi chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Mixed gig here. Very mixed. Most of the chapter was hilarious and very entertaining, as well as eyeopening. However, Quirrel's class seems a bit...unusual. The stuttering act seems to have disappeared completely, though then again, it didn't seem present before at any rate. What was most unusual was the way and the point of the class. Did Dumbledore approve of the class?

By the by, did you ever read Ender's Game? Most dangerous person indeed.
Baughn chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Oh dear.

That could be any number of things, but I'm going to guess one in particular. Have you ever dreamt of a time machine? Or, in general, anything having the option of doing anything could possibly cause paradox?

I have. It happens fairly frequently, in fact. Needless to say, *that* is what it feels like. ..naturally, I'm perverse enough to push ahead in spite of that, trying to force the paradox despite reality screaming around me.

I guess Harry didn't have that option. Good thing, too. I'm not convinced he'd be able to resist.
Tommy14 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
"You have minions!" Harry repeated. "Where do I get minions?"...that whole situation was very funny. The last part of finding the most dangerous person was interesting..Thanks for the update.
frankiejoseph chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Four words sum up my reaction to this: your Quirrell is genius.
Allejen chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Awesome chapter! I loved the minions and Harry's response to Quirrel. On that topic, I'm curious whether the difference in Quirrel, compared to canon, is because he is not possessed by Voldemort or because Voldemort is using a different approach because Harry is so different than in canon.
Jaxtopher chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
You sir, are brilliant.

That was incredible. You keep a fast update entire thing was gripping and interesting. I genuinly did not know what was going to happen next, and it's a wonderful insight into everyone's characters. The ongoing rivalry between Hermione and Harry is wonderfully displayed.
firstar28 chapter 16 . 4/14/2010
Wow... that was... disturbing, don't get me wrong, it was interesting, but it was still disturbing. Right now I don't know if I should be scared of a mind that can come up with this stuff or not. Anyway, I'm going to keep reading to see where you take this.