Reviews for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Wolffe3636 chapter 17 . 12/21/2022
So the Heh (I'm still cracking up about that, hilarious!) keeps a chicken that he dyed orange or red in his office, makes it sit on an egg whenever he knows he'll have visitors, and then sets it on fire?! He's absolutely insane, and while I wouldn't ever want to deal with a person like that, it's so so fun to read about.
Xeranes chapter 17 . 11/22/2022
Gooood. This hit like a fucking train. Jesus. The implication of the message. But then it's just what you wrote dows, except... yea. No.
Giyuusimp432 chapter 17 . 8/10/2022
um is Dumbledore a pedophile
Flaum chapter 17 . 8/1/2022
This is a f-cking crack *wheezing* I- I can't- I can't laugh any more
Flaum chapter 17 . 8/1/2022
I think Draco and Harry are secretly wished as the bestest of friends by fate *laughing manically*
Guest chapter 17 . 7/12/2022
I wonder if that's why Dumbledore had to kill his pet rock...
Guest chapter 17 . 7/12/2022
This might be one of my favorite chapters. And I have A LOT of favorite chapters. Not sure if this is my fourth or fifth read through, lol.
Jean Paul chapter 17 . 5/27/2022
No tiene sentido, al menos no para mi. Quizás pone el autor una trama definida de las cosas que pasaran pero en el medio de todo solo coloca frases al azar y cosas sin sentido que hacen que esta novela sea MALA.
Dontreallyknowtbh chapter 17 . 5/23/2022
I feel like I’m elbow deep in a crack fic trying really hard to hide that it’s a crack fic, and I can’t find it in myself to be annoyed by that
geranim0enimino671 chapter 17 . 4/15/2022
OR LEFT IF YOURE LEFT HANDED. Important distinction
geranim0enimino671 chapter 17 . 4/15/2022
haha, we've always been jkr. ... jkr but, somehow, better... I love hp fanfiction for this. :3 haha
Alucard-ships-drarry chapter 17 . 3/25/2022
Lmao I am dying dumbledore is absolutely wild in this
MulticoloredFlame chapter 17 . 3/13/2022
I'm sorry, I fear I'm too busy laughing to type a proper review, but wow was this chapter amazing.
Schwifty chapter 17 . 3/6/2022
This story is pretty good, I honestly almost stopped reading at Dumbledore's apology though. Between that and the very odd conversation about Harry's home life that followed, it just felt too much like personal feelings thrown in instead of something that would fit the story. However I will continue on as this story is too good.
yamigirl121 chapter 17 . 1/12/2022
This has to be greatest fic of all time
kyekye chapter 17 . 1/12/2022
I'm sorry this is a very intresting story but I can not continue past this point. My brain cannot take it. I love all of the time and thought you put into this but at a point it began to get confusing and loaded to much information into my head
.at once. Maybe one day I'll come back and finish reading this very informative story because it is very good. But For now this is where I stop.
TheExpertProcrastinator chapter 17 . 10/8/2021
What would happen if you transfigured water to another liquid, like, say, apple juice. You drink the apple juice, and one the transfiguration wears off, it turns into water. That shouldn't affect your body. I mean, they're both liquids. And what if you just transfigured water into green water? There wouldn't be any change, they are both liquids of the sume substance. So what would happen?
we all matter chapter 17 . 8/2/2021
i g
Rabcor chapter 17 . 7/4/2021
Actually the alternative Dumbledore is one thing I really don't like, I can see where you're going with it, something like dumbledore from canon but sent back in time from the far future after developing a bit of guilt or something along those lines... (but still knows it all needs to go more or less the same way and he's too out of it to realize that harry is ravenclaw, not gryffindor this time around and truly is not the same harry at all)

But I don't like it, it completely breaks the pattern of the story when everybody else with the exception of harry are more or less the same as canon, except maybe Draco I guess but there are circumstances which more or less explain that one.

I'm a bit disappointed about him. And where the hell is Snape in this story?
Rabcor chapter 17 . 7/4/2021
It is "You SHALL not pass" not "cannot";

It is one of the most iconic lines how could you possibly forget that? It is in fact so iconic that even wikipedia will redirect you to gandalf's page if you search for it . ?titleYou_shall_not_pass&redirectno
Rabcor chapter 17 . 7/4/2021
The starting sequence of a sci-fi horror flick or just another thursday for harry potter?
Chara chapter 17 . 6/12/2021
Gandalf is cool.
Burnehn chapter 17 . 5/16/2021
Me at the start of Harry’s meeting with Dumbledore...“this isn’t the dumbledore we deserved, buts it’s the Dumbledore we NEEDED”

Me at the end... “Actually...this is the Dumbledore we deserved”
Cavelenare chapter 17 . 5/4/2021
bruh. this went from incredibly interesting, stimulating, and funny to what the fuck is this absolute balderdash? i felt like i went from a fic with incredible quality and well thought out plot and dialogue to poorly constructed scenes with a kind of humor that was just so ridiculous that i can only cringe. I'm incredibly sad cause this fic has SO MANY reviews, faves, and follows that i was hoping to be blown away. but, i feel like i wasted so much time instead :(
Luna L chapter 17 . 3/12/2021
This Dumbledore is funny.
beingLazy chapter 17 . 2/23/2021
this madness xDDD
slifer238 chapter 17 . 2/15/2021
some times when I read this I have no clue what is happening!
DaughterofAiluros chapter 17 . 1/21/2021 Dumbledore a time traveler?
because everything he does feels like something I would do if I inserted myself into a story after having read said story
The Unplanner chapter 17 . 1/7/2021
I really like your creative disclaimers.

Harry's got the same problem as Senku from Dr. Stone: he's trying to be a Mad Scientist *and* The Hero at the same time, and those are not easy balls to juggle. More like chainsaws. Morality chainsaws.
Amy ZM chapter 17 . 12/26/2020
The sentence about how revolving the staircase ought not to take you anywhere strikes me as strange.

The spiral staircase to Dumbledore's office is an Archimedes screw. Archimedes screws are a very old and effective element of Muggle engineering, and they are indeed mindblowing. They don't seem like they ought to work, yet they are a proven means of moving something, such as water-or, sure, a standing person- upwards.

What is strange to me is that the Harry of HPMOR is never content with a situation where rational thought doesn't seem to work. He usually takes things like this as a challenge. So why does he just reflect, "disturbing," and not figure it out?

Is LM saying that Harry is very well-versed in methods of rationality, but so ignorant of basic Muggle engineering that he thinks the stairway is magical? Is he teasing about how sometimes the brain creates illusions that are very hard to shake, such as the illusion that an Archimedes screw can't possibly work? Both of these solutions seem out of step with the rest of HPMOR.

snamioneBDSMcuriosity chapter 17 . 11/25/2020
I am so so so terribly confused. Nothing in this story makes any sense to me anymore. Am I just stupid or what? Because I literally do not understand this story.
threereasonswhy chapter 17 . 10/5/2020
HONESTLY! THis is SO weird!
Koop chapter 17 . 9/30/2020
Knowing how this story ends, I find it a little funny and a little sad that Dumbledore was telling the truth.
Bear - The Lord 0f Winter chapter 17 . 9/9/2020
There's being mad, there's being clinically insane, there's being the Joker...

And then there's Dumbledore
Forromir chapter 17 . 8/17/2020
What the fuck is this story. The reason I started this was because of the length and the synopsis, which was slightly interesting to me. But what the fuck dude. I hardly understand why certain characters are acting the way they do and just... what the fuck. I'm surprised I've gotten this far into the story before dropping it. I'm sure there's a reason it's followed and favorited so much but I just have no idea man.
ThomasSlik chapter 17 . 8/11/2020
Do not mess with time is the scariest thing that could have been there, I got chills
Guest chapter 17 . 7/18/2020
I’m so freaking confused
Gabrote42 chapter 17 . 7/8/2020
huhhhhh... If I didn't know better I would inquire about the alcoholic content of this chapter. Either my translation of the original books idn't properly capture that insanity and this is barely an exaggeration or this timeline is way wackier than I expected.
carc chapter 17 . 7/4/2020
oh man is anthony goldstein the jewish wizard that j k rowling invented in a tweet that’s kinda hilarious
Lokiwrites chapter 17 . 6/26/2020
Ah, dumbledore. I knew I couldn't be the only one who wasn't overly fond of him.
johnwhen chapter 17 . 6/25/2020
I’m dying I bow to the master of chaos
DeadFish37 chapter 17 . 5/20/2020
Given that a timeturner "can't be used more than 6 times in any day," how could Harry possibly think that he could use a never-ending loop to determine Anthony's pair of numbers?
Kylau Ren chapter 17 . 5/6/2020
Dumbledore is SO in character, maybe even more so than in the books
Acotar4life chapter 17 . 4/25/2020
I am soo confused
im quaking chapter 17 . 4/1/2020
I’m loving dumbledore in this. but also I swear, harry’s going to go down in history not as the boy-who-lived but more likely the boy-who-thinks-too-much at this rate and

Guest chapter 17 . 3/25/2020
You put too much siantific stuff into this story and it makes it hard to enjoy the story. I have given up on reading any further. The majority of readers are not interested in that stuff.
DarthGhengis chapter 17 . 3/22/2020
I'm not sure I even understand what parts of this chapter I don't understand..
Guest chapter 17 . 3/19/2020
So many people pointing out the transfiguration food rule I had to write this. The rule is about not turning things into food. And living things into inanimate objects. That's why the professor turning a table into a pig was not a problem. No one would try to eat a table. Well maybe this universe's Dumbledore will.. Also I laughed way to hard at this version of Dumbledore. He is almost identical with the Dumbledore from nauci flocci's comic strips. I really hope there is more to him though because funny as it was it seems like a wasted opportunity to not have him be more than comic relief. Even if he also doubles as a confirmation for the absurdity of the wizarding world. Really enjoying the series so far
CaliforniaCougar chapter 17 . 3/19/2020
any particular reason why smart Harry means Dumbledore is crazy?
ducklinsprepare chapter 17 . 12/29/2019
Oh god. I thought that "rock" meant "coat", as rock in Swedish means just that.
I practically choked with laugther when finding out that rock, was literally a rock.

And wow, this story is awesome. The vast vocabulary makes me question my actual understanding of English.
Hue chapter 17 . 12/3/2019
Omggg what is happening?
SPRH chapter 17 . 10/3/2019
I feel like your falling too deep into the 'crack' bit of this fic, half of this just feels like filler or needlessly random
zumba1 chapter 17 . 9/20/2019
Harry needs common sense. he is like a clown now. he has the advantage of dumbledore. Dumbledore needs him. and Harry knows that. the way of expressing opinions and thinking about causation is incorrect. because he has no common sense
StormyFireDragon chapter 17 . 8/31/2019
Thank you for the laugh. Loved the setting fire to a chicken part and Dumbledore’s Strawberry Shortcake sounding pink outfit.
UncleJervin chapter 17 . 7/31/2019
YOU SHALL NOT PASS indeed! Brilliant! I'm crying with laughter and joy. Why didn't JKR think of that?
Majerus chapter 17 . 7/4/2019
Poor chicken. Poor Harry. Poor, Poor, so sadly Poor Minerva.
Berrybanana05 chapter 17 . 5/14/2019
“Professor McGonagall walked over to the gargoyle, inaudibly spoke the password, and stepped through into the revolving spiral stairs. She began to rise out of sight, and the gargoyle started back -

"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

"He wha-"”

This whole AU, Dumbledore, everyone- they’re all of their rockers and I love it
GuidingHand chapter 17 . 5/12/2019
That was the most insane Dumbledore I’ve come across!
TheLizard-ling chapter 17 . 4/29/2019
this headmaster is beyond crazy xD poor chicken! and also poor Harry! (but I think he is getting used to the weirdness haha)
Merc chapter 17 . 4/21/2019
Again, just eleven, but he most certainly doesn’t think about the worst case escenario for everything. At least not for that disturbing watching her sleep remark almost right after Pr. Blake six way closet org...anizing party. On a T fic, honestly? I don’t understand your ratings...I’m going to sound like such a mom but: Yikes! I thought that was for sure a Luke I’m your father moment! Ovis Idulis are not in my line. Thomas Covenant lost me after Lena. Not sure about the Slythshaming, by the by. And really intrigued by the pattern remark. Wow, Albus may still be salvaged. I do love bad boys.
Duke of salted fish chapter 17 . 4/16/2019
OK now I have spent like 5 hours reading this—even forgot to have my dinner—but I really need to go do my study now. This story is really charming so far and I might pick up this when I have more time.
Wicked.A chapter 17 . 3/24/2019
this chapter was great as well!
BluePhoenixRising15 chapter 17 . 3/17/2019
Serafina chapter 17 . 1/14/2019
You're a genius, Less Wrong.
HarryPotterFangirl85 chapter 17 . 1/9/2019
This story is feeling like a parody rather than just having some humor and I’m not sure I can handle over 600k of parody...
agaragar chapter 17 . 12/14/2018
Hilarious and smart as always.

Interesting observations:

1. Dumbledore told his terrible secret to Harry as a sign of trust so that Harry has a piece of info to use as blackmail against D. Clever and mad. I like this D better.

2. D secretly took an egg from his pocket and placed it on Fawkes' nest. Errr...ha ha?

3. D also has a time turner. Huh.

4. The note left by Harry's future self is ominous. If only Harry can limit his use of his Time Turner ...
Redhawk29 chapter 17 . 10/2/2018
The punch line of this story is that I’m insane now
Shob chapter 17 . 9/23/2018
Cute, but I'd have liked it if harry and Dumbledore got along more swimmingly. I do appreciate the dynamics between the assistant headmistress and Harry.
Guest chapter 17 . 9/1/2018
Hi. I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused. But I’m also cracking up at literally every other sentence so...good job!
Guest chapter 17 . 8/14/2018
Help! I'm choking on LSD's!
DH chapter 17 . 8/7/2018
This fanfic is brilliant so far. I usually don't comment on fics, but really felt like writing about this one.

I would have binge-read this, but sometimes I can't concentrate enough to understand all of this new version of Harry's thoughts, so I'm actually reading this rather slowly for myself. But that's actually ice cause it means I'll get to enjoy it for a longer period of time

I'm confused how different Quirrel is, but I assume it has to do with Voldemort being affected by Harry, giving him a strange intelligent twist.

This encounter with Dumbledore was super peculiar, really, wtf? But I have faith at least most of it will be explained.

Onto the next chapter then!
Guest chapter 17 . 8/3/2018
Morzan's Elvish Daughter chapter 17 . 7/30/2018
I read this chapter while waiting in line at the Social Security Office. It was *very* hard not to laugh, but cackling like a madwoman would have been frowned upon.
Guest chapter 17 . 7/18/2018
Hi I know this is not at all recent and I don’t even know if you read reviews but anyway I noticed here that you have mcgonagal recommending harry transfigured a marshmallow but in previous chapters was super adamant that no one transfigure food. I don’t mean to be nitpicky because I love this story, but just thought I’d bring it to attention if it was unnoticed
charmerdark chapter 17 . 6/29/2018
Dumbledore is gold...pure gold! Lmfao
Fast Frank chapter 17 . 4/4/2018
But per McGonagall's rules, a marshmallow, being a food item, is not a safe transfiguration subject.
AlenDarkStar chapter 17 . 3/27/2018
is a problem that Harry's stepparents arent'n wicket? It's like it's bad for Dumbledore's strategy.
Ty chapter 17 . 3/14/2018
I'm all for silliness, but things became genuinely
... Confusing? In this chapter.
Timvast chapter 17 . 2/3/2018
My brain went poof
Guest chapter 17 . 1/7/2018
To be honest, I consider myself rather smart, I'm not a genius by any means, but I'm definitely not stupid. That being said, I'm not going to be able to finish this story due to its complexity. To the author of this story, you are a genius.
troddensn0w chapter 17 . 12/22/2017
'This... was your father's rock.' I am almost in tears.
Fiction is the Truth chapter 17 . 11/13/2017
Dumbledor, dropping hints like a boss
Anon or so I say chapter 17 . 10/18/2017
Dear estemeed author,

This story is like a dream come true. Well not really, but it feels like it. I've been having this urge for years now to write a Fanfiction like this one but for reasons I still have not and I'm not sure if I will. Even if I did, it will take a while to write something in this caliber. Suffice to say, even if I never heed the call of that urge I at least have this fanfiction to fall back to. It hits home especially to someone like me.

Lastly, I have been looking for fanfics displaying the lifestyle of Ravenclaws which is why I tried Googling Ravenclaw fanfics and was dismayed cause all it ever showed are fanfics about Ravenclaws in the canon and didn't really give that much fresh insights about the populace of Ravenclaw so I was near giving up. However and to my sheer delight, I saw a comment in Facebook on a Harry Potter post by a Harry Potter fan page mentioning Methods of Rationality. Alas, there was nothing to lose so I checked it. Like, the title itself spoke to my core. And the comment also had decent and interest piquing enough summary. I think that that was one of the best decisions I made in my entire 19 years of existence. Now, I seriously gotta go continue reading because this writing is just so precious I cannot and would not delay indulging in it any further. Enough with this lengthy and slight poorly written probably redundant review; just couldn't pass up on the opportunity to express my gratitude and amazement for the author of this story and the story itself.

Very respectfully yours,
A Ravenclaw, INTP (I'm including this even if the Myers-Briggs test had been criticized for its results not being accurate all of the time because it may change and mislead due to the fact that it is very subjective stemming from the input coming from the examinee and there is no way to ensure that the person gives accurate answers because that person may have misconceptions or misinterpretations of his/herself or is not that thoughtful in reflecting which is maybe something beyond the control of Myers and Briggs but to hell with that because for me my result is mostly accurate), marxist feminist, homo economicus with machiavellian streaks adoring fan.
InTheShadows3 chapter 17 . 9/29/2017
This is the most confusing story that I have ever read! I’m stopping because I don’t know what’s going on...
PhaedraZev chapter 17 . 9/19/2017
I feel like changing my mind. This chapter felt like pure crack fic.
Beyond Hope chapter 17 . 9/17/2017
The reasons why I love this fic just keep coming xD
myafroatemydog chapter 17 . 9/14/2017
Pretty good chapter
Gemma chapter 17 . 8/16/2017
First of all, what the fuck. Second of all, I love this story and I can't wait to read more. I'm enthralled with every chapter. This is fantastic.
Guest chapter 17 . 7/30/2017
What the actual fuck?
No I didn't find it funny. I'm surprised I lasted this long. It's gotten to weird for me, I quit.
Kimmytrainer chapter 17 . 7/23/2017
I don't understand!
jcampbellohten chapter 17 . 7/22/2017
Rofl! I would treat this as a crack fic except that I'm sure you have an actual plot and everything will somehow make sense in hindsight. Dumbledore is basically Deadpool, between his loose relationship with the fourth wall and his apparent sometimes insanity.
Tiffany Smithi chapter 17 . 7/17/2017
I think that
"ah. I think you're missing a Balrog" OR "PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL THE HEADMASTER SET FIRE TOE A CHICKEN!" is the funniest sentence/ I can't decise...
SamuraiTater chapter 17 . 6/28/2017
I just want you to know that "Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!" is the BEST line I have ever read in any Fanfiction ever. I literally laughed out loud. Seriously, it startled the corgi.
Anyway love the Fic, will finish the rest most definitely. Have a good night. :)
Ambassador666 chapter 17 . 6/12/2017
Oh it's been a long time since I've belly laughed.
Guest chapter 17 . 4/29/2017
WTF!? Dumbledoge snuck into Lily Evans' room while she slept?
mikewj93 chapter 17 . 4/21/2017
i cant take it anymore. this is the best. THING. EVER.
ack1308 chapter 17 . 4/6/2017

"I'm having chicken tonight, chicken tonight ..."
WildNoa13474 chapter 17 . 3/15/2017
I very much doubt you would die, Harry, you're the main character.
WildNoa13474 chapter 17 . 3/15/2017
I thought Harry would hit Quirrel. "Professor, you are clearly the most dangerous person in the room. If this was a real fight you always take out the most dangerous enemy first."
httpkirby chapter 17 . 3/14/2017
What the fresh hell is going on?! *bursts into laughter*
Guest chapter 17 . 3/7/2017
Wait, so Dumbledore engineered Lily and Severus' end of friendship? To what ends though? Hmm...
Aislynn Crowdaughter chapter 17 . 2/18/2017
"Dumbledore started laughing. Laughing a lot harder than Harry would expect, almost howling. It seemed positively undignified. An ancient and powerful wizard ought to chuckle in deep booming tones, not laugh so hard he was gasping for breath. Harry had once literally fallen out of his chair while watching the Marx Brothers movie Duck Soup, and that was how hard Dumbledore was laughing now."

And to think we have to wait until chapter 110 until we understand why he is laughing so hard...
G Fawkes chapter 17 . 1/27/2017
Ok... i don't remember the 'rock' conversation, so I think I made it further this time than last. It's just the complete lack of anything 'I' consider to be "Harry Potter-esque", in this fic. And if it takes this long to still not have arrived at the Plot, then I don't have the patience to wait.
Do you even have a count of how many people FINISHED this reading. Not started. Not reviewed. Not saved, favorited, or whatever. Finished the fic.
I'm thinking it's like, a 'one percent' club, if that.

Anyway... (yawn) ... I'm quitting... again. Call it ADD, or something. It's not you, it's me, or something.
lemonsherbet chapter 17 . 12/17/2016
McG offered to teach Harry to transfigure a jewel into a marshmallow, but a marshmallow is edible. I thought you weren't supposed to transfigure things into food? Of course a small jewel is probably not the most dangerous thing to have in your digestive system, but it'd still be a far from optimal situation?
SpicyArbiter chapter 17 . 12/1/2016
I can't stop laughing! I'm on the floor, literally!
Guest chapter 17 . 11/6/2016
I cant believe it! Is dumbledore supposed to be mad here?
Daziy is SoniQ chapter 17 . 10/24/2016
I must say... This is most definitely the most enjoyable chapter of any Harry Potter fic I've ever read. And Dumbledore, well I'm really pleased to see that he is still as mad, as powerful, and (more importantly), as sincere as he seems to be in canon. Congratulations for that.
archaicrune chapter 17 . 10/19/2016
I remember vividly in 2013 seeing a post on Tumblr or something for this fanfic that had a ton of notes along with a comment of "this fanfiction absolutely wrecks me every time," or something, and I went on believing that it was some sort of crazy psychological mindfuckery. Fast forward three more years and for some reason I'm just now getting into Harry Potter fanfiction (read: drarry,) and I've decided that after reading roughly 2.5 million words of mindless drarry relationship fics with no real plot, that I'm going to read COMPLETELY through this one, no matter how much nausea, sweating, and crying it brings me. You won't believe how many time I've just closed the tab on a fanfic because it's gotten too much. Anyway, at first this fic was just so brilliant and I loved it (it's a lot like a fanfic called The Spellmaker, which I loved but it was unfinished,) but I've just started to get halfway through the scene where Dumbledore calls Harry into his office drooling all over the Invisibility Cloak and my brain is really just fried. I've mostly been skimming because this fic just has so many words, and so much scientific theory that I don't understand, and too many things for my brain to comprehend. Right now I'm just laying here with an actual headache and lines of text embossed over my vision. But I don't know, there's something so strange about this fic, kind of like that the characters don't feel like actual people. Well. Harry's a little very much not... normal, and Draco's not really Draco in the way that everyone writes him first year (maybe without the rape thing, sometimes things in fanfics just really really weird me out for example an 11 year old making rape threats,) and I don't know. It just seems like a crack fic so far. And it's not just because of the length and the words! I've read fics like Turn and Drop Dead Gorgeous and I Give You a Wondrous Mirror and 2! .5! million! words! of! mind! numbing! drarry! fic! Have I mentioned that I've read 2.5 million words of drarry fic in the past month! And so it seems sort of stupid for me not to be able to take this one on. But it just gets so weird and tiring, and the whole "house divide" thing is just so potent here where all Slytherins are all really evil rapists, and Harry's just fucking crazy, and there's no really relationship development anywhere. I'm not just saying this because I'm a wild drarry shipper, I honestly can't imagine shipping this Draco and this Harry, but it's like I'm reading an entirely different story where really only the character's names are the same but everything else is entirely different. I don't know. Reading longer fics is such an emotional rollercoaster for me that one minute I'm quivering because the fic is so good and I can barely breathe, but the next I'm feeling all slimy and nauseous and asking myself where everything went wrong. I don't know. I was really really sick last night or it could just be those "crazy teenage emotional hormones" that everybody says is now the basis of my personality, but I don't know. I really just got out of bed at noon this morning after having a really wonderful drarry dream that I wanted to enjoy further in some nice fic, but somehow stumbled upon a buzzfeed rec post that reminded me of this and here we are. I don't know. Maybe I really am just a mindless drarry shipper. Anyway, your fic is good. I am not so good. Also not sure where you found the time to write literally 600k words of crazy scientific weird stuff. I will finish this after I've had some toast and water and also maybe a couple weeks off of school.
Rambling Drabble chapter 17 . 9/22/2016
1. So THIS is how the most Noble and Ancient Houses are introduced.
2. It took a bit of thinking, but I bet I know why the rememberall lit up like that; I'm almost certain it has a lot to do with Harry's real name.
2.5. I love how Time, when referred to directly by Dumbledore, is capitalized, in the same way that you would capitalize a deity.
3. I still haven't worked out many of the implications of Dumbledore's terrible secret. I'm pretty sure we're meant to ignore the obvious and inappropriate ones, but other than that... I'm drawing a blank. WAIT A MINUTE! Is the implication that Dumbledore snuck into Harry's room, in the same way he snuck into Lily's, to give him the cloak? Is THIS the evidence I was looking for?
4. I like how upfront Dumbledore is with that second apology. Reminds me of how, sometimes, the best way to fool someone is to tell them the truth.
5. And the END of the apologies... oh dear.
6. I still can't tell if that was a chicken or if it was Fawkes. Harry THINKS it doesn't at all look magical, but then there's the egg and all...
blood-doll-aishiteru chapter 17 . 9/16/2016
Dumbledore's really creepy. I don't trust him.
JD73hsnHSBDF chapter 17 . 9/2/2016
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm awestruck. This is mind-boggling and I haven't come to my senses yet few stories had this kind of impact. And I love it and I'm so addicted ...
Dumbledore creeps me out ...

The factoring thing with time turner and PNP is ingenious ... I love that part. It's so fascinating. I also love the shaky hand-writing as a result ... just, wow. Wow.

The plot hole and remembralls are also intriguing. (By the way, I love Blaise being extremely Slytherin.)

Love this chapter.
Meatball42 chapter 17 . 7/28/2016
Ugh every time I read DO NOT MESS WITH TIME I get that horror movie feeling like something's about to pop out of the silence and eat me, so thanks for that. And somehow it's always the middle of the night.
yungjeezy chapter 17 . 6/5/2016
Yeah really confused at Dumbledore and Harry's interactions hahaha, was funny seeing Harry geting confused as well hahaha
Banshee-024 chapter 17 . 5/31/2016
this fic better not be trying to teach me math... but anyway nice fic
Guest chapter 17 . 5/28/2016
congratulations on writing the most terrifying portrayal of dumbldore that I have ever read
KittyCat and KittyMeow chapter 17 . 5/16/2016
who's Baba Yaga again? isn't she the Russian witch from a movie (I forget which one, maybe Baba Yaga)?
Guest chapter 17 . 4/30/2016
i think at some point Dumbles was wise, then he wanted to for some reason pretend to be insane but then he became not insaley wise but insane and wise. Probably alot of insane using information from the time he was wise though...
Elise chapter 17 . 4/17/2016
Oh my GOD this was one of the most insane and funny chapters I've read in several years holy crow Dumbledore is awesome xD
I absolutely love this story, it's positively brilliant, I'm so so glad it's complete, I know I won't be left hanging. I'm wondering why everything is not at all like the original series and yet there are multiple references to J.K.'s version... for example when Dumbledore thinks Harry was mistreated, he gives him a stone (reference to the resurrection stone) and a scribled in potions book... Is this a second version of the first series? As in everything had happened like the first series and Dumbles did something to make time go back and change things, which made him slightly mental (more than he originally was I mean)? I guess I'll just find out :3
Thanks so much for writing and sharing this.
Guestamazing chapter 17 . 4/14/2016
Whoa OOC Dumbledore. Although I guess we didn't learn much about him in the books.
Drazen chapter 17 . 3/23/2016
I'm sorry but I cannot handle the absurdity of the story anymore!
Montara chapter 17 . 1/21/2016
Wow, Dumbledore was scary!
Isa Lumitus chapter 17 . 12/28/2015
Re-reading this chapter reminds me of why I like this fic. The whole conversation with Dumbledore was hilarious. And I rather like Harry's internal debates.

I've got to play devil's advocate on the remembrall thing, though. In my experience, the single most common failure point is someone else doing the wrong thing. So while just about anything could have distracted the rest of the class from fighting, the less control Harry had, the more likely it was that someone else would bollox things up by doing something stupid.

For example, say Harry armwrestles Goyle, and loses badly. Some idiot in the crowd might 'help' and kick the fight off again. Say that doesn't happen, but Goyle still keeps the ball. There's still a good chance that the confrontation will escalate back into a near battle. The smartest thing to do might be to play for time until an adult shows up... But those are unreliable. Just look at McGonagall's refusal to hear ANYTHING negative about the new professor. In a time-limited situation, Harry chose the best solution he could come up with.

I suppose one could take the position that ~20 eleven year olds getting into a battle-royale is better than time-turners being exposed. But then I'd have to ask why they were given to any students, period.
LiteratureGirl12 chapter 17 . 12/26/2015
I think I might say this for almost every single chapter but ...what?
XxTealJadexX chapter 17 . 12/20/2015
i can't-
Grissina chapter 17 . 12/12/2015
your dumbledore seems madder than the original! I'm glad to see harry doesen't trust him eyes closed.
I still can't understand all the references about quirrell. it bothers me, it feels like there is something bigger than I'm trying to imagine going on.
thsnks for sharing your story!
The Anguished One chapter 17 . 12/8/2015
All this in just one day... This is going to be an eventful seven years. So many interesting scenes, none more than with Dumbledore. The manifestations of Harry's conflicting thoughts were wonderfully entertaining.
WatchingTheWatchman chapter 17 . 12/6/2015
"Chaos magnet" is a great description of Harry. Though McGonagall doesn't know half of it. Fun chapter, I like the character development of both McGonagall and Dumbledore. It'll be interesting to see if he's actually insane, or just...eccentric.
Crack-jouchan chapter 17 . 11/8/2015
O-oh my... Dumbledore is definitely certifiably crazy. Dangerous crazy. Meep meep.
jackalopian chapter 17 . 11/7/2015
I have absolutely no clue what is going on. I love it. I've laughed so many times from sheer mind-bending craziness. I do actually hope and believe there is a plot hidden in here. I'm going to take it on faith now that the hints of plot and coherent back-story actually do work out into something. The only reason I believe that may be because I looked at how many chapters there actually are and decided that's far too many for someone without a gameplay. Either way... I love it.
Xavon Wrentaile chapter 17 . 10/27/2015
I can't believe I just realized it, but McGonagall would never have suggested transmuting the rock into a marshmallow. That is food.
Digitize27 chapter 17 . 10/21/2015
This chapter got a little... meta
ShadowLDrago chapter 17 . 10/15/2015
I have no idea what's going on, and I LOVE IT!
Gleas chapter 17 . 10/14/2015
Where is Snape? o.o
ScribblesinDirt chapter 17 . 10/9/2015
I am dying. Too damn funny. And might I add, I think I will regardless, I completely baffled. I understand that there is a plan of some sort, and yet I am unable to come to any conclusions reasonable or otherwise. My head literally hurts trying to figure out just what exactly is going on here. On word I guess?
Good chapter 17 . 10/2/2015
I hate how good it is.
P. P. P chapter 17 . 9/13/2015
Guest chapter 17 . 9/7/2015
I feel that when I am reading this I am either laughing out loud or my head is hurting and i am only at chapter 17
SomeoneKnew chapter 17 . 9/6/2015
My birthday is an IDES!
Carly chapter 17 . 8/8/2015
Number one: What the FUCK Dumbledore?
Number two: Did he just give Harry the resurrection stone AND tell him he was gay?
Ria0207 chapter 17 . 8/7/2015
Insane. Absolutely flabbergastingly insane.
a chapter 17 . 8/4/2015
Kabs chapter 17 . 7/21/2015
This made me burst into laughter even though it's my second time reading it
Angelfirenze chapter 17 . 7/13/2015
Okay, what the hell was that? I can understand brevity for humor's sake, but that exchange between Harry and Dumbledore just completely lost me as a reader. That was not only out of character, it was baseless even in the reality of what you've set up here.

No, Quirrell being interesting as hell does not make up for Dumbledore insinuating that Harry was supposed to suffer and since he didn't, things are going badly, and Harry just saying, "Oh, but they didn't let me read any books!" to placate him?

That was stupid and immoral and I don't know how you managed that, but I'm jumping ship before something makes me angrier than child abuse being handled so pettily.
KelanFarron chapter 17 . 7/5/2015
Professors Blake and Summers?When did Anita Blake and Buffy get jobs at Hogwarts?
Ashcandy07 chapter 17 . 7/3/2015
That... conversation? Left me speechless... Dumbledore's insanity is just so amazing... chapter 17 . 6/14/2015
I am dead. From too much laughter. It seems like Dumbledore is a bit too obvious with the hints, isn't he? Well, poor McGona- I mean Minnie. "I'm very angry. Grr!" You never cease to amaze me.
Lanky Nathan chapter 17 . 6/7/2015
Holy nostalgia! Duck Soup! I remember watching that movie for the first time and the peanut stand scene where one of the characters ended up dunking his feet in the lemonade stand literally had me in tears!
PA chapter 17 . 5/17/2015
TimeyWimeyBadWolf chapter 17 . 5/16/2015
Lolololololol...Very, very funny indeed. This is unprecedentedly HILARIOUS!
Erasels chapter 17 . 4/11/2015
I'm utterly confused, baffles, I simply don't have words for... this. I just can't even, this is keeping me odd.
Village-Mystic chapter 17 . 3/21/2015
The chicken thing had me in hysterical laughter.
hisnhers chapter 17 . 3/15/2015
It's really bad when your daughter can you laughing and snorting clear on the otherside of the house when both of our doors are shut, it's sad really...

ummm ... McGonagall isn't Harry's head of house yet when there is a problem she's the one to lecture him or whatnot and that's just odd I guess... However, her interactions with Harry are quite hilarious so I like that they occurr.

'Get out of my office!' rofl!

'Harry and the insane Headmaster...' Poor poor Harry.

4everfictional chapter 17 . 3/13/2015
I love all these references to the books! XD
Mantis FA chapter 17 . 3/12/2015
I was wondering, after this novel is complete, would you consider posting a concordance listing and briefly explaining all the non-HP cultural references in it? I recognize many of them, including the Arisian Lens, the Holy Grail, and the Maltese Falcon in this chapter, allusions to Card's Ender series and Bujold's Miles Vorkosigan series, and almost all of the J. K. Rowling disclaimer jokes (not to mention references to other popular fanfiction like that bit about Harry being simultaneously the reincarnation of Godric Gryffindor AND Salazar Slytherin AND Naruto - that would be S'Tar'Kan's Harry from "Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past"), but I'm sure there are others that are getting past me.

Better yet, how about a Reader's Guide with both the cultural references and links to further reading on the scientific concepts and classic experiments featured in the story? I suspect one could build a pretty meaty course in the history of scientific thought around that.
Rafinius chapter 17 . 3/11/2015
For everyone put off by the headmaster's apparent insanity: Don't stop. All will make sense in the end.
Berlin chapter 17 . 3/5/2015
This chapter made me crack up so many times!
Hmm, perhaps it is quite inadvisable to read this at 1:16 am? Especially when it makes you laugh loudly? Oopsie.
Foxykitten chapter 17 . 2/8/2015
Albus is rock nuts.
00 Non C. Anon 00 chapter 17 . 1/31/2015
That ending
Pineapple chapter 17 . 1/24/2015
I am so confused, and somehow making sense of this.

You are the best writer ever.

I'm learning things. Just by reading. 3

Thank you
Guest chapter 17 . 1/6/2015
You make me laugh my ass off every chapter. Seeing as how i read this mostly in public this has gotten me several weird looks and a few concerned ones.
Overrated chapter 17 . 1/4/2015
I give up. Your Harry is so annoying as a character, nay, as a living being, that I think he must be the offspring of Fred and The Annoying Orange after some incredibly awkward and distinguished coitus. Pewdiepie and Bieber would be proud of the monster that you've created, and the destruction he's wrought on my sanity.

I've also come to the conclusion that this story is only regarded as one of the best on this site because... actually, I'll stop there. I can think of no good reason for why. If this ever surpasses NOFP I'll officially lose the will to live, because it isn't fit to lace S'TarKan's boots.

Not that I'm 'trying' to personally insult you, of course. It's simply coming out that way and I make a point of not editing reviews. I won't soften the blows for you, or anyone else. I think you've caught me on a bad day, given the rolling of my eyes every other time Harry opens his whiny little child's mouth, or the groan I utter whenever he attempts another half-cocked experiment on something entirely temperamental because his 'father' was a man with no idea how to properly raise a child.

Oh, well. At least you tried.

Tl;dr version for idiots who skim reviews: your Harry is a prick.
philharmony chapter 17 . 12/29/2014
This is the funniest most wonderful story! As soon as you said it looks like a chicken,I realized that it totally does! I'll never be able to look at Fawks the same way again.
GingerHannah chapter 17 . 12/23/2014
I feel like Dumbledore think of himself and Grindelwald when he sees Harry with Draco.
Julie910 chapter 17 . 12/7/2014
Wow! You a deffinitely one of the best dialogua writers! It is absolutely hilarious! I also love the way Hermione get better class results than Harry, there are moment where I was fearing that you were just going to make another completely stereotypical heroe who is super brave, super intelligent, incredibly arrogant and incredibly irresponsible, yet somehow manges to solve every problem. However you have not, Harry informs McGonall of the whispering hat thing (which really surprised and impressed me), and even though he comes up with really good theories, not all of them work (like the time turner experiment). With every chapter I read I am falling more and more in love with this fic.
P.S. Draco and Quirrel are fantastic!
humanoidpatronus chapter 17 . 12/6/2014
You've made Dumbledore too unpredictably eccentric.
Alibi Nonsense chapter 17 . 11/21/2014
You know... this is the first fic I've read where Headmaster Dumbledore is completely and utterly baby-shatteringly crazy. Completely bonkers. He's scintillatingly and incessantly mad.
Professor Quirrell disturbs me not a lot (but more). Harry's alternate self scares me more, Harry scares me most... and this review will probably scare any other people reading it... but wow. That was mind-blowing. I am an egotistical girl at the best of times (in my irrational brain - at war with my conscience) who thinks she is actually quite a proficient and competent writer... but I think... I think if I tried writing a fic like this, my pen/computer/etc. would explode.
My brain already has.
-Thank you for this story and my eternal gratitude.
N. E. Person chapter 17 . 11/9/2014
Wow... Death to chickens and magic rocks. :D
kimchi759 chapter 17 . 11/3/2014
It only took seventeen chapters for me to understand that this is a crack fic and I should not take it seriously.
Drithligh chapter 17 . 10/15/2014
Okay, I pretty much guessed that the "game of life" in an earlier chapter was Harry with the Time Turner. But what, WHAT the heck was up up with the Headmaster? If this is anything other than his long term psychological test of Harry based on Professor McGonagall's thoughts on Harry after the Diagon Alley trip, in other words, a psycho Ravenclaw version of the Philosopher's Stone Gauntlet, then I just don't know what to say other than my brain hurts.
Daniel6 chapter 17 . 10/5/2014
Love the the Star Wars references. And this coming from a Trekkie!
guitarlover56784 chapter 17 . 9/14/2014
Dude, wtf the headmaster is nuts. In no story have I ever seen himm like this. I hope he improves. I dont like this
Sue Clover chapter 17 . 9/5/2014
Thank you for including a mention of left-handedness. I never noticed, but in the original universe they do tend to never think of that, don't they? Actually, your parallel universe includes quite a lot of people being just a tad more sensible than they were in the books. Like Voldemort actually teaching when he got the chance to possess a Hogwarts teacher of his favorite subject, which he's been coveting for years, or like Madam Hooch acknowledging that not all people are born to use their right hand.
So what was up with Dumbledore? He's always been crazy, but no one's ever depicted him this crazy before. And why was Fawkes different? Was it actually a chicken, with an egg, or was it a Phoenix? I'm confused. Why is Dumbledore telling him this much stuff? And so obviously? He's not even trying to be subtle.
MasterStabroek13 chapter 17 . 9/3/2014
Dumbledore has driven me insane. Sweet author, have mercy.
alix33 chapter 17 . 8/29/2014
I did not realise Harry kept a tally of the fools he encounters in the wizarding world. That tally must be getting quite lengthy, though…
NO! Harry should IMO not stop distrusting Dumbles.
Why would Dumbles DO that, write like that and at the time he did in Lily's textbook? That is incredibly stalkerish and creepy.
scotty26 chapter 17 . 8/14/2014 think i had trouble trying to keep up and read this chapter because there were points where i was thinking to myself that when i review this chapter i would tell you that every time you spoke of math and such i would see myself getting anime swirly joke...ill keep reading since it's entertaining and a rather twisted way to view the world of Harry Potter and magic
Valantherial chapter 17 . 8/2/2014
Oh my belgium gosh. May I first just say how many times you have almost got me caught reading late at night due to near-hysterical fits of laughter? I struggled to clamp my mouth shut and my breathing even, but to no avail. Especially in the second altered sorting chapter, the scene with Dumbledore proclaiming Hagrid as Slytherin head of house.. It brought tears of laughter to my eyes, and incidentally caused that little conversation to be burned into my memory. Not hearing of this story (or indeed YOU) before now has made me revise always filtering stories for 'adventure', as without a substantial amount of luck I would have never stumbled across this golden nugget- no, this iron throne of amazing-ness. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you- and thank you again, you have made my life significantly more witty and entertaining over the course of today, and for many days to come. PLEASE keep doing what you are doing! This is a great work of art, comedic genius and will forever be remembered by me as the fanfiction that caused me to drop my phone into a cup of not-so-hot chocolate (note to self: remove any beverages from lap before reading anything that may invoke violent hysterical laughter). Again, thank you very very much for giving me and many others the opportunity to enjoy your literature.
thepkrmgc chapter 17 . 7/30/2014
yay for eccentric!dumbledor, and harry's time travel experiments!
oneeyereader chapter 17 . 7/12/2014
A Phoenix is not a chicken.
Rain Harmonia chapter 17 . 7/12/2014
"Professor McGonagall, the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!" That was so funny! This is a great story
Foxy-Floof chapter 17 . 7/3/2014
OMG... *falls down and dies after falling down and dying*
Jesper chapter 17 . 7/3/2014
You really just cant help yourself when you are changing every character huh? :P NOW SOME HELPFUL FEEDBACK FOR ONCE; I dont find it funny when you insists of changing famous things like Fawkes and Quidditch all the time. It is rather tiresome. Leave them out completeley if they fill no function instead of twisting them for no reason.
David chapter 17 . 6/29/2014
This didn't give me anything
InArduisFidelis-RAMC chapter 17 . 6/15/2014
Heh. Cool name.
Tallman7 chapter 17 . 6/13/2014
This story is completely bonkers.

I love it.
Uraharaisgod chapter 17 . 6/7/2014
...trying to figure out if this is a mislabelled fic, so far this seems like a crack-fic at every turn, so why is this labelled Drama/Humour, if there is no drama?
VoidTea chapter 17 . 6/4/2014
ah..this started out very nice but now it's getting a little too crackish?
SixPerfections chapter 17 . 5/10/2014
What the hell is wrong with Dumbledore? LOL. And OMG him sneaking into Lily's bedroom at night was sooo creepy. When he was like 'you didn't figure out the implications?' I was like 'OMG DUMBLES HAD AN AFFAIR WITH LILY AND HE'S HARRY'S FATHER!'

IMPR0VE chapter 17 . 4/23/2014
Um, this seems to be becoming a common occurrence but... again wtf?
GroveWolf chapter 17 . 4/19/2014
HOLY HELL! WTF! honest to god you should write a book, something. i'd buy it. i was actually giggling. now you may have covered this, but what the hell is wrong with dumbledore? wasn't he the one who sent the cloak to harry? what the hell is important about a rock? is he really just out of his gourd? please tell me. please.
Silverrain chapter 17 . 4/11/2014
Oh, except for dumbledore. He's just insane.
Arabella Lee Smith chapter 17 . 4/9/2014
I've never seen such an insane Dumbledore as yours. (and loving it!) Thank you for this totally off-the-wall Hogwarts.
Guest chapter 17 . 3/28/2014
Oh boy. Insane Dumbledore. Creepy as all get-out, and much more terrifying that the usual cliche Dumbles oft found in fics.
StrengthAndHonour chapter 17 . 3/22/2014
I love this. I really do. I've learned a lot from you, but all this bloody timey wimey stuff has gotten beyond me... I've enjoyed reading, but now I must stop, dear author! My valedictions, dear sir/ madam!
iamzim chapter 17 . 2/28/2014
Cbf loging in but that disclaimer is the best reference to enders game yet. Good job.
Wolf V Bunny chapter 17 . 2/27/2014
Very, very odd!
Harlequin de Rustre chapter 17 . 2/23/2014
And back to the baseline.

I like how you create dialogues, but it would be better for them to be pertinent to the plot, like the one shown in this chapter, rather than simply thrown in for pure giggles.

Tarantinoing is one thing, but fullblown plotless silliness will cave in your otherwise ironclad story...
Sparkysbro chapter 17 . 2/10/2014
Best. Dumbledore. Ever.
Vampires2rocks chapter 17 . 2/6/2014
...not something you hear everyday: Set fire to a chicken...

I SEE it everyday...I like chicken for breakfast lunch and dinner after all...

Alice and Athena chapter 17 . 2/4/2014
It's like they're all Omake Files ... Merlin, this is hilarious. Definitely adding it on to my Favorites list.
Grizzmon chapter 17 . 1/13/2014
Harry, that’s not a chicken!
Makokam chapter 17 . 1/7/2014
Ya know what? Fuck it. I give up trying to understand what's going on this story. From here on out I'm just along for the ride.
Schnuff chapter 17 . 12/13/2013
This was the second time.
The first was with Harry and Draco in the store.
But ROFL here i was thinking what could Dumbledore give him...and than (without me drinking a certain tea) i spilled my coke on the screen after reading
about ROFLMAO his father's rock...sorry can't write anymore...need some fresh air
onlytoask chapter 17 . 11/30/2013
I could not stop laughing at the rock bit. I tried a few times and it didn't work.
deathlyHealer chapter 17 . 11/27/2013
Oh, my gosh, what the hell.
DeletedAccount3498 chapter 17 . 11/16/2013
Wow, this was a long and interesting chapter, and a wonderful read. I learnt so many things about Dumbledore and Harry that I didn't know before in this story, which I'd still like to find out, as it's interesting. I think the gift of the stone, the clarification and explanation of the cloak and Lily's old potions book calls for a sped up timeline. I'm guessing the events in this story will not follow the events of the series? Fair enough, I know it'll probably be interesting to read, and it'll keep me on my feet and guessing. :P
eileenKelli chapter 17 . 11/14/2013
I admit that I've seen this fic floating around for quite some time, but never took more than a glance at the summary before dismissing it. But since I usually search for higher word counts, and number of favorites, you kept popping up. I decided to give this story a try, and omg...I am so glad I have.

"Slytherin and Hufflepuff has switched sides after seeing the Headmaster of Hogwarts set fire to a chicken,"

That line killed me, and thus I am reviewing while catching up with the latest chapter (80 chapters away!). Usually I'm a horrible person, and read non-stop until there is nothing left to read. Actually, I'll probably go back to being the person soon.

Even though I'm no where near Harry's intelligence (and yours :p), I find it fun and not overly daunting to read his logic on the universe and magical world. It's so clever that I can't skim through bits that I might have otherwise done, so I've only been reading a few chapters here and there, as to not overwhelm my brain with smartness. I love the way you write his interactions with the other characters, Prof. McGonagall especially.

Well, I won't speculate on things I hope to see happen, since I have over 80 chapters to go. but big thumbs up to you. see you on the other side.
matrix29bear chapter 17 . 11/1/2013
minnie 12/14/10 . chapter 17
Also: seriously, broomsticks? He was going to fly on, basically, a line segment? Wasn't that pretty much the single most unstable shape you could possibly find, short of attempting to hold on to a point marble? Who'd selected that design for a flying device, out of all the possibilities...

-one of the funniest things I've ever read in fanfiction!
- - - - - - - - - -
Well, if you want to know the secret of that, you need to think of a common object and the sensation of flying and the Witch named BABA YAGA.

Now let us change our mindset to SNOW SLEDDING. What is the cheapest snow sled you can own? A snow shovel. Sit on shovel and ride down a hill. GOOGLE for "Russian Shovel Snow Ride" video. Go to WIKIPEDIA and search for "Shovel Racing". The shovel racer typically races on a basic snow shovel. The rider sits in the shovel facing the handle and leans back with his feet pointed forwards.

Getting the idea?

The problem is people imagine people riding the broom while sitting on the stick, but the human butt has to sit on the bristles as one would sit on a snow-shovel scoop while holding onto the handle. Flying with either object would be insanely anti-aerodynamic, but the idea is that people would "get the sensation of flying" by sledding down hills on a snow shovel. That is why the idea of WITCHES BROOMS FLYING exists (although it should be a shovel unless Winter equals riding a shovel for flying and Summer equals riding a broom for flying).
Guest chapter 17 . 11/1/2013
selene 8/13/12 . chapter 17
So yeah, I just tried to factor 181429 without a calculator to see whether, given an hour, Harry could brute-force the problem just to have an answer for Anthony.

I gave up after about 40 minutes, but I suspect Harry would come up with better tricks than mine. If it occurs to him that Anthony is likely to have chosen two numbers close together, then he might test every odd number (that's not a multiple of 5 or 3) starting from 401, and get to the correct answer quickly.

Oh it's even easier than that.
181429 397 * 457
As you pointed out, 181429 25 25 7 (thusly not divisible by 3)
Since we already know that this is a number made from the multiple of 2 primes we can factor quickly knowing that 1*9 9, 3 * 3 9, 7*7 49. Since there are 2 known factors, one factor logically has to end in 1 & the other 9, or both end in 3 or both end with 9. Both factors also have 3 digits each. Knowing this, you can optimize your factoring rather quickly with a Prime Number List. If you deliberately exhaust all of the primes ending in 9 (33 primes) with failures, then you can immediately cross off all potential prime factors ending in 1 (35 primes) without even checking any of them. Which means that for 33 calculations you instantly eliminate another 35 leaving you a mere 75 calculations left out of 143 primes to check with simple math logic.

Harry Potter should have at least ONE math book in his Magical Storage Chest of Bookcases with a list of primes (considering that is how he had the student pick two 3-digit primes in the 100 to 999 range). The math isn't even challenging at all given the very abrupt list of possible factors. I could factor 181429 by hand without any special tricks and a list of the 143 primes in about one hour with just basic deductive logic. 181429 / 103 1761.44.. so I can tell that is way wrong right off. If I divide 181429/999 then I get 181.610610.. So I can safely skip all numbers lower than 181 (which eliminates another 10 potential prime factors ending in 3 or 7, and that drops my list to 65 prime factors to check).

(Check the list here which has 143 primes in the range of 100 to 999)

Of course the objective of abusing the Time Turner to use temporal elimination loops for the laziest dumbest form of factoring a large composite number was to see if it could be used for simple PNP (elimination of all forms of failure by exhaustive temporal trial) to beat lock combinations by acting like a Quantum Computer. This SMART version of Harry Potter also did not test if unintelligent non-magic items can activate a Time Turner (using it with a simple tapping mechanism to have it jump back in time) because logically he could end up losing the Time Turner entirely.

And at this moment Harry Potter is still in dumbfounded astonishment to realize that he still hasn't put any effort into discovering the power sources of the magical items, the Expanded Laws of Thermodynamics (with Magic included as a factor), and the human costs of expending a unit of Magical Energy to accomplish a unit of Work.
Gridlock chapter 17 . 10/31/2013
Simple answer for the "DO NOT MESS WITH TIME" piece of paper.

McGonagall said after a momentary pause, when it became clear that Harry wasn't going to move, "that can't possibly happen, Mr. Potter. The Time-Turner cannot be used to move more than six hours backwards. It can't be used more than six times in any day."

6 hours x max 6 times per day 36 hours maximum jump from any time period.

Logically you can abuse the Time Turner by simply "Piling up" time travel jumps.
Even if you had a required "Recharge Pause" of 24 hours after 6 jumps, you can still jump back to the previous 24 hours plus 12 hours extra to spare.

The inescapable COST? You get older. If you're testing a PNP problem 896 loops, you will need to jump 896 times. You can short-circuit your aging if you simply deliver the correct answer to yourself by a series of 36 negative time-jump hours, but the OLD VERSION OF YOU will still exist in some other time-line despite your delivery of the P NP solution to yourself a mere moment before you decided to time-jump. It would actually be smarter in this instance to just hand-factor the non-Prime into the two individual primes over the course of six hours. You then handle the solution or the last steps you were working on at yourself 6 in the past. Let us say you only hit the number 569 when the 6 hour time-jump limit hit, your new time-loop starts at 569 and you continue factoring until you hit the set factoring limit of 997 x 997.
willam and jack and jake chapter 17 . 10/24/2013
wow this is just weird
LittleAriPotter chapter 17 . 9/3/2013
This story hurts my brain. I love it.
Nalsala chapter 17 . 8/29/2013
oh my god i'm really dying reading your story !
every chapter i feel like i'll die from laughter !
that's just great
Fiona chapter 17 . 8/21/2013
Hello there!
To begin with, I have very much enjoyed reading your story so far. Though there is something about it that doesn't quite agree with me and I am not entirely sure what it is...
It is labeled as drama/humor and there is no shortage of humour of course, but I am finding myself missing the drama. This is why at times I feel as though it ventures into crackfic! territory and finds me confused as to where exactly it's going.
Stories with serious themes such as in genres of angst and drama seek lighthearted moments for balance. If properly executed, a bit of humor can only flatter the storyline. It breaks from the gloom so it doesn't become tedious and amplifies those stages when the going gets tough. It betters the emotional investment of readers and makes it a tad bit more real.
A story which is only about the humor will hopefully make you laugh. The problem is that if the only thing it is going to do is make you laugh, it may become tedious to follow. Primarily because after a while the humor usually begins to drive the plot. The plot becomes an outlet for the humor so the reader may begin to see the plot as a joke as well. In the end, neither the characters or the plot or where the both of them are going have no weight. The humor dents the integrity of the story and Sauron gets the Ring. This is generally how unintentional crackfic!s are born.
What I'm trying to say is, I think the humor is overpowering your story. I don't know if I'll take any future dramatic, serious moments for what they are. Maybe in part because the characters seem too aloof and I am having trouble connecting with anybody except McGonagall. An example would be the exchange Harry had with Draco before they boarded the Hogwarts Express. I'm not sure if the point was to exaggerate Draco's more malign attributes when he announced he wouldn't mind raping Luna Lovegood, or if it was to show the extent of the same malign attributes so he would be seen as a more dangerous character. Following the established rythm of the story I took it to mean the former but I neither found it funny nor did it make him seem more malicious. It just seemed a bit much and out of place. I also have similar feelings for the first DADA class. This I do think was supposed to be a more serious moment but it also ended up being too much. So in between so much lightheartedness and humor I believe there will be some trouble when the drama finally kicks in. The serious nature of, I believe, some situations that are to come will clash with the flow of the story. Especially if very substantial because they will seem a bit out of place. Then there is the way Harry is characterized, it's almost as if he's missing something. I'm afraid he's a bit more aloof than other characters and I don't know how the more serious situations he finds himself in will read but I'm curious to find out.
Lunacom chapter 17 . 8/15/2013
The Headmaster sneaking into your mother's dorm while she was sleeping seems to be one of the most creepiest things ever said by APWBD in a fanfiction ever.
cross-over-lover232 chapter 17 . 8/15/2013
he...whu...::blinks:: a crazy chapter
addikhabbo chapter 17 . 8/14/2013
TheArtisticIntrovert chapter 17 . 8/10/2013
ah... um..,. was the chicken that was set on fire a refrence to the many stories that has the Order called the Order of the Flaming Chicken? 8(_)8 *mind explodes*
Merlin's baggy bottom chapter 17 . 8/10/2013
You must be completely crazy! Because this is mad! Sometime it's so crazy it's funny but , sometimes you do. Lose some were in the labyrinth of a story!
FenixxS chapter 17 . 7/24/2013
I may have nearly fallen off my bed reading this.
I think I did reasonably well holding it together; I managed to not laugh too hard until the chicken part.
Hidden Eclipse chapter 17 . 7/22/2013
I am laughing so hard right now, will definitely continue reading this whenever I get spare time XD
Accalia chapter 17 . 7/18/2013
The only thing that confuses me is that Harry failed to see what is (to me) the obvious answer. Unless my logic is wrong?

If he conducted the experiment again and, previously to getting the paper, decided that, if the paper came back as any variation of 'do not mess with time', he would write '997x997' or whatever on the paper and send it back in time, then that time loop would also be unstable, right? So that leaves the only stable loop as the one where he's actually given the prime factors.
Lyoness of Avalon chapter 17 . 7/11/2013
I love that your hyper intelligent Harry is still so fallible, so eager to triumph and desperate to win.
Who gave Harry the Cloak if not Dumbledore, and where does the Ring now reside if it's not in the Headmaster's possession?
Oh you mentioned foreign wizards half a million words before Rowling! Yay diversity.
MariSkep chapter 17 . 7/7/2013
For all the Sci-Fi Harry has read, he's surprisingly inept at dealing with insanity. Or was he too busy with the glorified image of The Enlightenment to get around to Discworld?
Cait.C chapter 17 . 7/4/2013
Hmmm, there is something about chapter 17. There are a lot of hints and foreboding, I think. I have yet to connect the dots but I get the feeling that most of the answers to the current mysteries can be found in this chapter: The precise recording of the time during this chapter, the time experiment in the beginning, the trick with the Remembrall, and of course the glowing of the Remembrall itself, the rock, the terrible secret in Lily's textbook, replacing the burnt chicken with an egg (I initially thought it was Dumbledore's way to hint at a hidden truth behind Narcissa's death, but now I also think it's possible that this and the trick how Harry got the Remembrall might be a hint on how Harry plans on saving Hermione.) and that, that disturbing talk between Dumbledore and Harry: Dumbledore saying how they are all struggling to fit their lives into /time/... Dumbledore's apology for the things that happened (though they didn't, Harry doesn't have abusive guardians. Maybe Dumbledore has knowledge of the canon events of the books and that is driving him insane?) and will happen. And also this is the conversation in which Dumbledore conveyed to Harry what kind of role he expects himself to play. And last but not least: /Thursday/. This all happened on a THURSDAY. The "I-never-could-get-the-hang-of-Thursdays-and-a-few -minutes-later-the-Earth-is-destroyed"-Thursday. This can't be good.
I'm still missing huge chunks of things that prevent me from seeing the whole picture, so I'll keep all my speculations to myself and keep on rereading the chapters. (aarrghhh I'm not thinking creatively enough)
Cemalidor chapter 17 . 7/3/2013
Fawkes isn't dead, he's just resting... before pining for the fjords. ...
Anon chapter 17 . 7/2/2013
I love everything about this! Though, I can't imagine what you're planning with that rock...
Alissie chapter 17 . 6/30/2013
XD 3
I'm severely disappointed that today is a Sunday. Not a Thursday. :(

Question: these times are relative to the universe, correct? So if it's 5pm and Harry then goes back two hours, the scene would start at 3pm, correct? And he'd go forward for four hours, and then it would be 7pm? Just checking.
Guest chapter 17 . 6/21/2013
I think you just about blew up my mind with the whole DON'T MESS WITH TIME THING.
VOLDERMORT chapter 17 . 6/10/2013
It is clear that Less Wrong is the Chosen One in the Earth_1 dimensional reference frame.

I will handle him /myself/. Less Wrong is now under my /personal/ protection.

Dark Wizards who interfere with his development will be fed to the Demon of the Dark Mirror for her amusement.


apeljohn chapter 17 . 6/6/2013
The time travel physics here is really interesting. The HPMOR universe seems to run off some kind of principle of least action, which (IIRC) among other things means that long or improbable paths are penalised. So although it was *possible* that Harry would write the correct factors down, it was far more likely that he'd tell himself to push off. Hence this was what happened.

The really *really* interesting thing is that, assuming I'm correct, if he tried the experiment again with a sufficiently robust apparatus instead of a human (probability of failure less than 1 in (997-100)2 804,609), it would actually work!

Of course, achieving that level of precision creates its own problems, but it would make time travel very useful as a tool for e.g. stress-testing circuitry, by "forcing" the circuit to fail more often. The forced probability of failure would be the real probability divided by (real probability 1/804,609).

(For non-geeks reading this, the principle of least action, aka Lagrangian mechanics, is an alternative formulation of classical mechanics. Whereas Newton would say that a thrown ball follows a parabola because at each point in time it is being pulled down by gravity, Lagrange would say that it follows the parabola because this minimises a property called the action. Under the Lagrangian approach, the entire path is solved simultaneously rather than being calculated on a moment-by-moment basis.

Physicists like this view because it fits nicely with both general relativity and quantum mechanics - for example, under GR, the parabola is *also* the path that maximises the time experienced by the ball. In the context of QM, the probability of an event is a complicated sum over possible histories, which also falls nicely out of some Lagrange-style equations - this approach is called the Dirac formalism.)
Laugh Counter chapter 17 . 5/29/2013
Hello, I am your new laugh counter. The laugh count for this chapter is 24. Please notify Laughing Counts (c) if you wish to discontinue service at any time.
RussianDestruction chapter 17 . 4/23/2013
Favorite moments of this chapter: "Dumbledore was smiling, and his bright eyes twinkled with a mad intensity."
"Please call me Heh for short." WTF? Lol!
"Dumbledore drew his wand and held it up and struck a pose. "You cannot pass! How does that look?" BAHAHA
And giving him his father's *rock*? I was like, O_O
"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!" OH SILLY HARRY. :D
PoptartProdigy chapter 17 . 4/22/2013
Okay. This Dumbledore is either insane, or a Troll with epic levels.

Either way, I don't think words can describe just how awesome that was.
sww11685 chapter 17 . 4/17/2013
Enjoyed the strange occurrences within the chapter
Kadlubowska chapter 17 . 4/8/2013
I read this two years ago.
I started translating the whole thing into my native language and recently got to this chapter.
And you know what? I discovered what the Father's Rock was about! I know!
From what I read in the reviews, nobody found it out yet, so I must be really brilliant. And the answer is so simple (it doesn't include Dumbledore being insane, rather smart). So simple!
I won't tell in public, I don't want to spoil the suprise for those, who still want to find this out by themselves. But feel free to PM me, if you give up and want an explanation.
lastcrazyhorn chapter 17 . 4/4/2013
"Yes, I'm very angry!" said Harry. "Grrr!"

I'mNotHere chapter 17 . 3/18/2013
His father's rock is the bloody philosopher's stone isn't it? Either that or dumbledore really is crazy.
B0nk3rs chapter 17 . 3/3/2013
Oh my god . Oh my gawd so funny. I shed tears of utmost humour at your words
hervissa chapter 17 . 2/28/2013
The secret is out. JKR tried to hide the true depth of Dumbledore's madness from us. He is truly bat-shit insane. Totally craaaazzzy. Yep. xDDDD
He set fire to a chicken. I wonder what was he going to tell Minerva on that one :D
And it's already Thursday and we haven't seen even one Potion lesson! :/ :D
...and it looks like Harry really has a thing for Thursdays :D
Once again, I laughed too hard while reading this chapter :) Thanksssss ;)

hervissa :)
tlhonmey chapter 17 . 2/26/2013
Instead of shrinking the rock and punching a hole in it so that it would cut your finger off if it changed back, why not shrink, elongate, and bend it so that the very first thing it does as it changes back is pop off of your finger?

Would save all that hassle with an extra ring...
Endless Strategy Games chapter 17 . 2/9/2013
I really don't get why you made Dumbledore pretend to be mad during the preliminary parts of this story. It messes with his character to a jarring degree, and doesn't really add anything overall. It also seems like you aren't even applying this "madness" in the later chapters.
Guest chapter 17 . 2/5/2013
Im sorry for being so critical, but I have to say that your story started out brilliantly hilarious evolved to weird evolved to plain crackfic evolved to inconsequential blather. I hope that Im just to dumb to understand it at the moment and that it will clear up.
The defence class scene was interesting though
Mordu chapter 17 . 2/3/2013
this is the funniest story I have ever read.
Enei Emmu chapter 17 . 2/3/2013
do not mess with time. genius.
Ciel Elyse chapter 17 . 1/30/2013
There is, actually, an explanation for Dumbledore's insanity, is there? Because if he did give a rock to Harry to carry around, that would be quite off the rockers.

Happy happy boom boom swamp swamp swamp lolol gotta love that. This story is the only one that had ever made me laugh this much. I salute you.
Writing bunny chapter 17 . 1/6/2013
If I get it right, the secret of Lily's diary (beside Dumbledore being a creep) is that she actually gave a potentially lethal potion to somebody? I wonder who it was.
And just how much of Dumbledore's craziness is an act?
Biabara chapter 17 . 1/4/2013
One does not simply walk into Hogwarts! xDDD

I'm really trying to read between the lines, to find out what Dumbledore really wants to convey to Harry, but.. he's just nuts, isn't he? Completely off his rocker, as Ron would say.
jeffrey l melche chapter 17 . 12/20/2012
I'm a little worried that the Transfigurations Professor is allowing, even encouraging, Harry to magically change an inedible rock into an edible marshmallow. What happens if somebody eats the marshmallow and the transfiguration wears off?
Susan M. M chapter 17 . 12/20/2012
"Harry wrote down "DO NOT MESS WITH TIME" on Paper-1 in slightly shaky handwriting, folded it neatly, and resolved not to do any more truly brilliant experiments on Time until he was at least fifteen years old." Good advice, child; I hope he listens to himself.
StrangeoneXD chapter 17 . 12/16/2012
I really have to wonder how many cereal bars Potter has. Interesting, using a plot hole to help hinself. I really wonder what he forgot though. He has funny retorts. Headmaster interesting too
Honoria Granger chapter 17 . 12/15/2012
Oh this is just SUCH a freakin' delight!
Dan Riddle chapter 17 . 12/15/2012
Dumbledore is kinda...strange! For a moment I thought he was gonna MOLEST Harry or so when he was talking insane and magically locking the door! Some disturbing pictures of bare-chested Dumbledore from a youtube video came into my head! 8I
Guest chapter 17 . 12/15/2012
Dumbledore is kinda...strange! For a moment I thought he was gonna MOLEST Harry or so when he was talking insane and magically locking the door! Some disturbing pictures of bare-chested Dumbledore from a youtube video came into my head! 8I
Become's one with the story chapter 17 . 12/14/2012
So I have to say I am so very confused I did okay until the rock. I would like to say voldemort did something to the headmaster but that doesn't seem to fit within this world.
So I'm going with very much lost, dazzled and confused.
oreomonstar chapter 17 . 12/7/2012
Amazing! This... was your father's rock. BUAHAHAHA
Awesome Opossum chapter 17 . 11/19/2012
Giggles and tears. I will forever associate you with giggles and tears. Thank you so much!
Patronus-Charm54093 chapter 17 . 10/31/2012
"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!" LOL! That is awesome! I am laughing so hard I am going to die! (this is a review for chapter 17)
Reader chapter 17 . 10/11/2012
what do you think you know, and how do you think you know it?
when you analyze like this, it becomes bloody obvious
dumbledore found the rock in the ruins of potter's house
but it wasnt james potter's rock. it was voldemort's rock
rational!voldemort was going to horcrux the rock after killing potters family
and lose it in the pacific ocean forever
its not the resurrection stone (in later chapters it's true form is described)
its not the philosopher's stone (guarded on the third floor)
then the ending of the story must be really thought over
am i the first one who wrote such a hypothesis?
i would like to read author's note if its true
Ethyrin Kairos chapter 17 . 9/17/2012
Ok, utter utter insanity, or maybe I should say genius? Your ability to pull plot bunnies out of the air is awe inspiring, and there's 60 chapters I haven't gotten to yet? Evil genius creative mastermind...
Guest chapter 17 . 9/7/2012

I had plenty of things to say until I read the last full sentence, and then all coherent thinking fled my mind.
selene chapter 17 . 8/13/2012
So yeah, I just tried to factor 181429 without a calculator to see whether, given an hour, Harry could brute-force the problem just to have an answer for Anthony.

I gave up after about 40 minutes, but I suspect Harry would come up with better tricks than mine. If it occurs to him that Anthony is likely to have chosen two numbers close together, then he might test every odd number (that's not a multiple of 5 or 3) starting from 401, and get to the correct answer quickly.
DejDem chapter 17 . 8/11/2012
Are you making Dumbledore a manipulative evil lord in this fic? too many of those on this site
me chapter 17 . 8/10/2012
Oops, sorry, please ignore my previous review, I clicked the enter button my accident. Anyway, what you've written is a complete piece of art. I have enjoyed every bit of it, and I cannot thank you enough for this wonderful piece of entertainment. You are a mastermind!
me chapter 17 . 8/10/2012
Panruru chapter 17 . 8/2/2012
Truly brilliant experiment! Just a note, though - I'm reading the pdf version of this, and the numbers in instances of "Paper-1" and "Paper-2" aren't showing up in this chapter.

I'm guessing the remembrall behaved abnormally because Harry's forgotten more than most people know?

Your Dumbledore seems delightfully mad, and Harry's responses were perfect. I honestly don't remember the last time I laughed so hard.
voodooqueen126 chapter 17 . 8/1/2012
love how Dumbledore believes in the laws of narrative. as seen in Terry Pratchet's Witches Abroad
Poetheather1 chapter 17 . 7/28/2012
An excellent and surreal conversation. Poor Harry trapped with a manipulative Dumbledore and no way out. That cannot be very comfortable at all. He'll have an ulcer before Christmas for sure.
Prettyrad chapter 17 . 7/25/2012
I'm very angry grr... No I'm a horrible actor two, I'm totally loving like, man every word.
ArcticLizard89 chapter 17 . 7/24/2012
Can I tell you how much I love this story? Because I do. A lot. It reminds me immensely of HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY. Harry is more intelligent than Arthur Dent, but they both have that sort of hapless resignation that occasionally devolves into gibbering panic as they lurch around a world that makes less sense than zero. I can appreciate that. Catch you back in a few chapters when I have more to say.
Satirica chapter 17 . 7/16/2012
Thursdays and Harry Potter...there's something about them both. I recall, when Harry first recieved the time-turner...that he brought up an example of a scenario with never-ending Thursdays in it. Maybe there's a link there...?
Kirinin chapter 17 . 7/10/2012
"Slytherin and Hufflepuff had switched sides after seeing the Headmaster of Hogwarts set fire to a chicken."

This. FTW.

Actually, this whole chapter is such a lovely deconstruction of the heroic myth. For a moment, I thought the Potions journal was going to be Lily and SNAPE talking, which would make sense... but the Headmaster conversing with Lily? ...Eh? Alrighty.

landofmyth chapter 17 . 7/8/2012
I'd like to think myself fairly adept at judging characters and predicting plausible courses of events in literature based on context, but I think it is safe to say that at this point I have absolutely no idea what is going on. And that is very exciting.
lkc159 chapter 17 . 6/23/2012
I've read up to chapter 17. I understood the previous chapters for the most part, but on the whole this story has me quite confused (started with the whole mathematical time-related thing). I must say I've been completely and utterly mindf*cked.

I love your Dumbles, by the way. He seems to a reflection of Harry, a sort of mirror for him to bounce off, a way to keep him on his toes and confused. He's pretty insane, too.

I mean,

"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"


I am so totally confused right now.
wolverstreets chapter 17 . 5/31/2012
This rules and you rule. I've never read so much for so long on my computer.
cherapin chapter 17 . 5/29/2012
This was the most difficult chapter for me to read thus far. Perhaps it was the length, no; perhaps the frequently changing topics, no; perhaps reading the story from the perspective of an obviously intelligent young fellow who is still trying, unsuccessfully mostly so far, to get on with adults whom he would be well advised to mistrust, yes I'm sure that's closer to the mark; and perhaps the protagonist wears me out with his incessant, energetic, frenetic insistence upon seeing implications, portents and downright doom in half the facts and opinions he happens upon, yes, that's near, quite near, the mark. Perhaps it's my own impatience with constant effort of bending my will to study the thoughts of anyone trying to portray the thoughts of a precocious eleven-year-old homo sapiens sapiens, yes I suppose that is it. That and a few other issues I'm still trying to master.
HerGoldenHair chapter 17 . 5/23/2012
in the History of Ever... *snickers uncontrollably*

This story is becoming so completely and utterly ridiculous -not that I intended to undervalue it in any way by implying that there was ever a time when it wasn't- and I think my brain hurts, why am I still reading? oh right for the giggles, also perhaps a Ravenclawish curiosity, and most certainly a Gryffindor carelessness for any risk to my sanity of mind! In a word, for fun. Right, that was two words. Whatever. NOOOOOOO, I think Harry's infected me!
GSYH chapter 17 . 4/30/2012
DADA curse solution

1: Change the name back to Battle Magic as it was cursed as DADA.

Didn't work?

2: Retain the DADA position to get rid of annoying people, INVITE Umbridge to teach, invite Rita Skeeter! Real lessons are however spread out over the other subject, defensive charms, transfigure stairs to run up, magical creatures and plants to watch out for or for help.
Reader chapter 17 . 4/18/2012
Hypothesis: The rock was planned as horcrux by Voldemort, he was going to create another one after killing Potter.
I Read For the Content chapter 17 . 4/16/2012
Oh my god...I'm not entirely sure what I've just read...WHAT HAPPENED?

One one hand, don't mess with Dumbledore, on the other...he's totally nuts.
Hendrik chapter 17 . 4/3/2012
I'm slightly puzzled - is there _supposed_ to be a plot hole shortly before Harry says "It's a plot hole"? If so, then I don't quite get the message. Maybe it's just not my sense of humor?
Hello chapter 17 . 3/30/2012
Considering that the headmaster had the cloak in the original timeline...if he was the one to give the cloak back to Harry with that note telling Harry to distrust him, then it ended up being a really good way to get Harry to trust him, right? Sneaky, sneaky...
selquist chapter 17 . 3/24/2012
I now include in my recommendations a note to "keep track of suspicious things and clues". I hope that it increases enjoyment, because you can't put together a puzzle if you've lost half the pieces. Forgetting tends to happen when you don't read everything in one sitting, and even then I'm still surprised at how many things I miss.

Something that I really liked-I don't know the name for it-but the connection between DO NOT MESS WITH TIME and the events of the chapter. The analogue/moral/thingy. What I had just assumed was a nerd bonus was something more. I think it is really cool that you've included such things.

I didn't realize how similar your early Pre-Conspiracy Malfoy was to J.R's Malfoy, at least in these scenes at school. I don't particularly remember strong characterization for the other characters (and haven't seen the movies), but they still fit really well.

On my first read, I thought Hermione was unrealistic. I don't know how realistic her amazing abilities and habits are compared to the likes of Tao or Neumann. It was her 'goodness' that through me off. On this read though, I've looked at her through a different light, and actually identify with her the most, as when I was young I took the advice and rules of the adult world at face value. After I graduated high school I realized that many of the rules that adults had given me, they didn't actually expect me to follow. I see that same literalism in how Hermione feels the need to be good, or follow gender rules, and how she interprets what is and is not acceptable. These are things she has heard (or read) and are how people are *supposed* to act. From what I know of myself and other people similar to me, those who take societal rules literally often interpret words literally and rely on definitions more. I like how I can see enough similarities to real people such as myself and others that she seems real. And her goodness is *NOT* just literalism, but moral courage. (I see the literalism in other things too, like having difficulty with friendship rules and such.)

She seems like the type of person who would be more likely to take a phrase like 'violence only begets more violence' as a logical iff statement based off the definitions of the words contained in the sentence, as opposed to thinking of the entire quote as something with an intended meaning. I don't think that she would actually think that, just that she would note the issues and use different wording. Basically-she has taken life in my mind and I'm able to imagine her on other adventures, and interacting with people outside of your story. How fantastic!
Rationally Procrastinative chapter 17 . 3/19/2012
I think that there are two important points to be made about the Harry and Dumbledore encounter here:

1)Dumbledore managed to, as the Weasley twins would later desire to do, out-Harry Harry. While Dumbledore didn't make Harry "know the true meaning of Chaos", i.e. question his own reality or sanity, he does get close (the phoenix / chicken incident) and Dumbledore is the only character to shake up Harry as badly as Harry shakes up others. As a matter of fact, since Less Wrong / Eliezer Yudkowsky plans long and writes ahead, I think it is no coincidence that this encounter comes just before Dominance Hierarchies. Specifically, Dumbledore is establishing dominance over Harry in one of Harry's areas of strength. And by that, I don’t just mean ability to confuse people, I also mean intelligence … which brings the next point.

2)Dumbledore showed Harry exactly how Lily managed to change Petunia's life and Harry did not get it. From chapter 1, Petunia says Lily warned that the potion that changed Petunia was potentially fatal and then Petunia says of the experience “I drank this potion and I was sick for weeks” Now see the description of the altered potion of eagle’s splendor: “Scrawled in the margin was a handwritten annotation saying, I wonder what would happen if you used Thestral blood here instead of blueberries? and immediately beneath was a reply in different handwriting, You'd get sick for weeks and maybe die.” So Dumbledore basically told Harry that he gave Lily the recipe for the potion that changed his aunt and Harry missed it.

After writing the above but before posting it, I reviewed some of the other posts. I note that my second point was not original to the posts (it was original to me) and was most recently stated explicitly by GregoryRadcliffe, who also makes other good points.

Even after fully reading through chapter 79 at least twice, I have few ideas about the rock. In the short run, it helps Dumbledore confuse Harry. In the intermediate, it introduces a power of transfiguration (sustained shrunk items) that we do not see any other student being taught – imagine doing the same thing with a loaded gun … or a tank! Yes, there are downsides (finite incantatem might bring about unwanted reversal) but Harry’s creativity should have already come up with a number of amazing uses for this ability. In the long run, I suspect LW/EY has a plan for the rock or at least a humorous use but I have no clue what it is.
Mech87 chapter 17 . 3/19/2012
Damn... My stomac is really hurting now... Love the way you write Dumbledore...
SqrlLrd chapter 17 . 3/12/2012
ok now its just strange, they obviously don't know about elevenses, or second lunches.
J chapter 17 . 3/10/2012
I added Harry's attempt to abuse the ontological paradox to the wikipedia article list of examples :)
spike1395 chapter 17 . 3/9/2012
"... let's call them sneezes."

Alma Gloriosa chapter 17 . 3/1/2012
I am endlessly fascinated by the way your brain works. I wish it was possible to recognize people who think in a similar fashion just by looking at them. Then I could actually say everything that comes into my mind without scaring people.

Still loving the story.

excelsia chapter 17 . 3/1/2012
damn awesome!
SerpicoCanari chapter 17 . 2/29/2012
Sir, I want to say you have made me want to rewrite all of my existing pieces, for this inspires a whole new level of standards in mine fanfiction and general fiction. I love this story, the intelligence, and I have read the original HP series many, many times as a child and love it with a fierce nostalgia- but many of your points I know to be so true, which makes it even more enjoyable. It makes me turn a sharp eye to my own writing. So thank you for inspiring me to be a more thoughtful writer.
Aquajacks chapter 17 . 2/22/2012
Awesome fic,I can see why this fic is the most reviewed on the unternet
The Blind One chapter 17 . 2/21/2012
"DO NOT MESS WITH TIME." Yup, still awesome the second time through! Not sure what purpose this sequence serves, though; it could be for the funny/awesome value, it could be to prove some deeper point that I didn't get yet about how time works in this universe, or it could be just to show Harry doing something to determine the usefulness of a time-turner.

Ah, the sequence of endless canon illogic. Your dissection is beautiful to behold.

I rather like this demonstration of Harry's weaknesses - he can think rationally enough to know that he ought to do *something* about the downed kid, instead of standing there gaping like an idiot, but not logically enough to act with a clear head.

"Apparently feeling left out of the disaster." Your phrasing there is hilarious for some reason.

Ha, another dorm-mate that's learned "yes, he's insane, now go along with it, 'cause it works anyway."

I like Zabini - he seems like one of the cleverer Slytherins, or at least one of the more outspokenly clever.

Hey, Seeker reflexes that he'll almost certainly never use as such!

"The Remembrall was glowing bright red in his hand, blazing like a miniature sun that cast shadows on the ground in broad daylight." Erk. This is filed under High-Octane Nightmare Fuel for a very, very good reason.

Typo! (The first I remember seeing, which is surprising considering how damn long this thing is.) "Arm-wresting," really?

McGonagall's desperation to keep the halfway decent Defense teacher is really funny. Also, teehee, Blake and Summers! (If there's a specific joke being made with the boggart/furniture thing, I missed it, but the shout-out is still neat.)

She's going to sit in Albus' office and hear "some hilarious tale about Professor Quirrell." The universe will not allow her to get away with saying that. (Also, would that be the "specific and credible threat" that was alluded to at the Sorting Feast?)

Someone noted that "gigantic puffy beard" is a quality often associated with Santa Claus. No comment.

Sooo, that's the Maltese Falcon (and the Lens of Civilisation?), and probably two other shout-outs that I didn't get. Or else a future-relevant thing neatly squished in there...

Dumbledore is either at least half bonkers, or an even better actor than Quirrell. Possibly both.

"Think twice [...] the next time someone tells you to distrust me." Remember that, Harry.

Mortimer Snodgrass? *google search* A Canadian shop started in the 21st century, apparently. Boy, once a reader starts looking for things that vaguely point toward time travel, they're EVERYWHERE.

Mmkay, the book makes even less sense than the rock. I'm conflicted on whether either or both are just concrete examples of Dumbledore being weird, or a Deep Meaningful Plot Point. If the former, it's the most beautiful paranoia red-herring I ever did see.

"I don't like being trapped." *groan* I have no idea what to take as a serious hint anymore, I really don't.

On a lighter note, the phrase "the number of, let's call them sneezes," makes my dirty mind giggle. No idea if that's how you meant it, but, er, the whole "seven/eight/number-of-choice sneezes equals an orgasm" thing immediately comes to mind.

"All-Time Award for the Worst Acting in the History of Ever" is a beautiful line.

Good grief that's a long review. Well, it's a long chapter.
eastern rosebud chapter 17 . 2/8/2012
I somehow missed this when reading the story for the first time, but the first part of this chapter is actually quite scary: first the experiment, and then, right after a rather lighth-hearted broomstick lesson scene, the Remembrall. Harry's encounter with Dumbledore made me break with laughing, but still, he admitted spying on Lily in a very creepy way.
KrystalB2003 chapter 17 . 1/26/2012

If I may... I was so caught up in the utter brilliance of Harry's little time experiment that by the time I finally read his results, it actually kind of scared the ever loving shit out of me.

You have a way with words. A very, very, VERY GOOD way with words.

60 chapters left suddenly doesn't seem nearly enough. I simply do not want this to end, even though I desperately do want to know the ending! I feel the exact same way I did reading JK Rowling's books. In some ways it feels like in reading this, I'm actually rediscovering Harry Potter. I've certainly found myself reanalyzing many of the things I thought I knew about the way Rowling's world works. In a very good, story enriching sort of way.

...and I'm not even halfway finished!
Leah chapter 17 . 1/25/2012
I totally forgot about this- I was rereading a few of the earlier chapters and the rememberall incident! What is Harry forgetting? I read Nightmares of Futures Past long before I had ever heard of HPMOR so my brain is biased towards something time travel related, like Mortimer Snodgrass, even though I have no hint that this is the case. But I hope we find out!
Guest chapter 17 . 1/6/2012
...It's been a quarter of a year...
madeyemarauder chapter 17 . 1/1/2012
In Chapter 16, you said, 'The enemy's gate is Rowling'. You didn't listen to Ender: THE ENEMY'S GATE IS DOWN!
Just wait a second chapter 17 . 12/24/2011
Harry's prime number test would've put time into an continually changing time loop if Goldstein had given him the wrong product. Shouldn't Harry have seen 997 x 997, written down "Goldstein made a mistake" on his piece of paper and stabilized the loop for the next Harry?
disastrousmaster chapter 17 . 12/23/2011
i was able to read up to 17 chapters after which i just started to be utterly confused by your randomness and strangeness...i believe this could have turned out better but it is unfortunately, not one of my better reads as you keep posing too many questions which lack answers and while you say that you arent trying to character bash you seem to be doing so with reckless abandon sorry if this seems like i am trying to put you down i will be looking to see if you have other fics that might catch my attention better but i am afraid i cant continue reading this certain one.
Anon E. Moose chapter 17 . 12/23/2011
You know, I generally try to give well-worded and thought out reviews. I really do. However, trying to comprehend Dumbledore in this chapter left me with this to say. Hurglegurglegurgle. My brain hurts a little bit right now. Is Dumbledore legitimately insane? Is he sane, and everything there was a game? Is he, in fact, insane, and still holding some form of reason for all of that? What.. just what... this is the only, and I do mean only, time a fanfiction chapter has EVER made me question the realities of existence, the true nature of time and our limited understanding of it, and the nature of sanity. When Dumbledore did this, or did that, was he... I generally pride myself on my cognitive ability, but this chapter has left me entirely muddled! When Dumbledore was messing with Lily, was he being a creepy pervert? Was he trying to set future events in motion in a half-century spanning gambit? Was he trying to test things, much like Harry himself is attempting, to see if destiny, fate, predetermination are absolute, or if you can bend over and fuck fate like a cheap whore? Am I over-thinking, or am I under-thinking? Am I possibly doing both, or thinking in the wrong direction, or the right one from the wrong perspective?

I am not joking here. You, good sir, have managed to twist my logical thought processes like a kitten with a piece of string! This story is fascinating, and quite enjoyable, but I think I really should have just taken the low-brow way and not tried to analyze this chapter so much. Thank you for the enjoyable, and mildly disconcerting, read.
mick chapter 17 . 11/30/2011
Dumbledore drew his wand and held it up and struck a pose. "You cannot pass! How does that look?"

"Ah," Harry said in something approaching complete brain shutdown,

I read this and straight lost it. Thank you.
Art of the Artichoke chapter 17 . 11/28/2011
Potion of Eagle's Splendor? Does it grant a 4 bonus to charisma?

catinthebath chapter 17 . 11/13/2011
I LOVE your Dumbledore. He is the BEST CHARACTER EVER!

Now I can't stop laughing.

Still laughing.


Still laughing XD
Akoda chapter 17 . 11/11/2011
This is my favorite book/story/work/anything with words in it in the History of Ever. Thank you Less Wrong. THANK YOU.
InkDreams chapter 17 . 11/1/2011
Great fic! I love the premise of this fic and have thoroughly enjoyed reading it so far. Harry's reactions to the wizarding world are very entertaining to read, especially his reaction to Fawkes when Harry meets him for the first time. Not to mention Harry's attempts to introduce science and logic to the magical world. I

I particularly enjoyed your portrayal of Dumbledore; Harry's entire conversation with him was hilarious. I also liked the shout outs you made to the original Harry Potter books.
Mimssio chapter 17 . 10/22/2011
I love your disclaimers. One could be, "You are J. K. Rowling. That is all."
Asparagus chapter 17 . 10/15/2011
i"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"/i
Guest chapter 17 . 10/14/2011
Heh is awesome!
SeamusTheDog chapter 17 . 10/9/2011
LOL! "let's call them sneezes"

OMFG so f&&king epic!

best line yet.
animarune chapter 17 . 10/6/2011
Do you think Harry is a bit disturbed to meet someone more insane than himself?

I love that Harry Potter-Evans-Verres is pretty much the polar opposite of canon!Harry. Where canon!Harry learnt at a very young age that "asking questions trouble (namely from his relatives)" and went through school with that attitude, this Harry asks, dare I say it, too many questions.

I greatly enjoy this story. It's amazing. I laugh, every, other, paragraph! And then some more! I love it x3

Please continue, though I won't be at your newest chapters for quite some time,

~Saiai Angel Alchemist
Toratchi888 chapter 17 . 10/6/2011
Just when you think things are getting light and fluffy... WHAM! Boot to the head.

Just when you think things are becoming grave and sober... Fooo! Hint of a cool breeze.

So... kind of like the rock and the marshmallow...?
illiteratemiruku chapter 17 . 10/5/2011

"suppose you had a million boxes, and only one of the boxes contained a diamond. And you had a box full of diamond-detectors, and each diamond-detector always went off in the presence of a diamond, and went off half the time on boxes that didn't have a diamond. If you ran twenty detectors over all the boxes, you'd have, on average, one false candidate and one true candidate left."

when you pass a detector over n boxes, you will, on average, have 1(n-1)/2 boxes, because the true diamond will always be detected as true.

quick haskell check:

let pass n 1 (n-1)/2

let raise f 0 id ; rais . raise f (n-1 :: Int) - auxiliary function

raise f 20 1000000


2 sounds about right.
braindoll chapter 17 . 10/4/2011
The detector example is correct. At the start, you don't have just a million boxes, you have 999,999 non-diamond boxes and 1 diamond box. After 20 detectors, the 999,999 empty boxes turn into about one (500K, 250K, 125K, etc...) and the 1 diamond box is still 1. So that's 1 and 1, just as Harry says.
loonyphoenix chapter 17 . 10/4/2011
"suppose you had a million boxes, and only one of the boxes contained a diamond. And you had a box full of diamond-detectors, and each diamond-detector always went off in the presence of a diamond, and went off half the time on boxes that didn't have a diamond. If you ran twenty detectors over all the boxes, you'd have, on average, one false candidate and one true candidate left."

I'm part of the Russian translation team, and I've been trying to think this through, and it seems there's a mistake. The first detector would leave 500,000 boxes, the second, on average, 250,000, the third 125,000, 4th - 62,500, 5th - 31,250, 6th 15625, 7th - 7812, 8th - 3906, 9th - 1953, 10th - 976, 11th - 488, 12th - 244, 13th - 122, 14th - 61, 15th - 31, 16th - 15, 17th - 8, 18th - 4, 19th - 2, and 20th - 1.

So it would seem that only one candidate would be left after the 20th detector; two candidates are what you get after the 19th detector.
peregrin chapter 17 . 9/25/2011
PNP? I think I'm going to send a link to this fanfic to the professor who taught us the subject "Theoretical Computer Science". The only problem is that he probably doesn't read fanfictions...
Antigone Q chapter 17 . 9/12/2011
I forgot to say: I do love how you play with Campbell's monomyth and with general archetypes. And I think that your Harry may have come up with the most reasonable explanation for the rules of Quidditch that I have ever heard!
MagixDiana chapter 17 . 9/10/2011
Okay so now it's 5 AM, I've been reading all night, and somehow managed NOT to wake up my parents with my laughter. Though I think my cat woke up a few times...

Anyway! You! ... Are the most brilliant author I have ever notmet. Not that this isn't complete and utter crack, because it is, but it also has some form of plot and awesome sciency stuff and Fawkes is a chicken. I wish this story was complete, I really, really do because I can't imagine having to wait for updates. I'd consider reading slower but YEAH RIGHT. Like that's ever gonna happen.

So I think I'll finally go to sleep now (yes, I do normally go to sleep this early in the morning), and continue reading when I wake up.

Or I'll just continue reading now and go to sleep in several hours.
VA23 chapter 17 . 9/8/2011
For some reason, this was my favorite chapter.

Don't know why though. Maybe I found the image of Dumbledore setting a chicken on fire too funny to laugh at?
youxcan'txstop chapter 17 . 8/31/2011 I the only one who was getting the impression Dumbledore and Lily had a more than friendly relationship...I mean he did say he would sneak into her room at night


(Maybe I'm just hoping for the most crack filled scenario)
Reader123456789 chapter 17 . 8/28/2011
Nice JOB! Extremely funny!
ironhair chapter 17 . 8/28/2011
"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

Loki's List chapter 17 . 8/28/2011
I just reread this and now that I have given this some more thought and assume that the headmaster is not just saying crazy things but actually trying to convey a message this takes on a whole different light:

"Do you understand the implications of what I have just told you, Harry?"

Combined with:

"And I swear in turn," said Dumbledore, "that what I am about to tell you is the truth."

Might just be a really way of the professor letting him know that it is possible to lie despite swearing to to tell the truth, which is certainly useful to know. Even if his method apparently relies on being crazy enough to convince yourself of the untruth first or something similar.

Then again it might not mean anything other than that the headmaster has been dangerously insane for decades.
GregoryRadcliffe chapter 17 . 8/26/2011
I don't normally review, but I just had to make a point/prediction, even with no expectation of a response. Harry is so very badly demonstrating the fundamental attribution error that he had previously explained when he thinks of Dumbledore as crazy. Just because Dumbledore gives Harry his fathers rock that has no apparent magical properties, and reveals his at first thought rather disturbing form of communication with Lily via sneaking into her dorm and writing responses in her potions textbook, that doesn't mean Dumbledore is crazy. Harry can't see Dumbledore's internal motivations or history trailing behind him, so mistakenly thinks of him as insane, but in truth Dumbledore's actions likely make perfect sense in the circumstances, it's just that Harry doesn't know those circumstances. As Dumbledore rightly points out, Harry's own yearmates think of him as crazy, but in truth he is far more sane than any of them, they simply judge his actions by ascribing him with character traits unjustly but circumstantially his actions all make perfect sense. So too does Harry wrongly judge Dumbledore.

I have no idea of Dumbledore's motivations for giving Harry that rock. If I had to guess, I'd say it's something to do with whatever happened at Godric's Hollow that is different from the original course of events. Perhaps the closeness of something that was present at that time will somehow afford Harry protection from Voldemort somehow. But I expect the truth will be far more convoluted.

As for Dumbledore's interaction with Lily via advice in the potions textbook, McGonagall already described how transigurations to do with human beings are most likely always fatal. Thus the reason people who are ugly or fat or old etc remain that way. And yet in this world Petunia holds a potion given to her by Lily as responsible for a beautiful transformation of her appearence that subsequently contributed to the lack of marriage with Vernon Dursely and union with Harry's new Dad (forgot his name atm). Whilst I'm sure Lily was a capable witch, I'd credit this particular breach of magics normal capabilities to Dumbledore, who helped her figure it out through his scribblings in her potions textbook. Possibly the friend Lily argued with was Snape who she thought was the only one smart enough who would've answered her written questions. Thus Dumbledore would've been correct when he apologised to Harry and said that he was respnsible for Harry's current family situation, although his motivation still remains completely mysterious in this situation. Perhaps something to do with a diferent prophecy of Trelawny's that Dumbledore was witness to.

I have no idea and cannot think of any possible reason why Dumbledore would say happy happy boom boom swamp swamp swamp at the opening feast, nor why burn a chicken and pretend it was Fawkes in front of Harry, unless it was purely for the laughs.

Quirrel has me completely stumped, is he completely unrelated to Voldemort, but then why would Harry have had the sense of doom when he went to touch him, surely that would've been the point at which Quirrel would've burned if he were playing host to Voldemort. Also no turban so where would Voldemort be hiding? Is Quirrel simply struggling subconsciously to overpower Voldemort, thus the intermittent moments of lethargy, is it really Quirrel who is so inspirational in teaching style or is that Voldemort's charisma shining through?

In any case I still think it was Dumbledore who gave Harry the cloak, and used the notes distrust as a test of Harry's character in their conversation.
Fenrir666 chapter 17 . 8/24/2011
Dumbledore's really nuts, huh?
anonymous chapter 17 . 8/20/2011
Ah, Thursdays... the best day of the week.

"You don't mean to say that my father...OWNED ANOTHER ROCK?"

Epic win at the end.
Sr3651 chapter 17 . 8/16/2011
In regard to Dumbledore sneaking into Lily's room and writing in her books, then watching her fight about it with her friends - lolwut. Though, it may be that I just don't understand all the implications of what he told Harry. Seriously though, excellent work as per usual.
shhIwasn'there chapter 17 . 8/15/2011
just please answer this question before I lose my mind!

what would have happened if harry refused to copy what he had seen on paper-2 on paper-1? or...or refused to do the same thing his future self did? for example, what if he kept both papers instead of sending paper-1 back in time? wouldn't he have been left with two papers? when in reality there was only one? isn't that like a mass materializing out of nothing?

gahhh I'll never understand time travel.
Hagtar chapter 17 . 8/11/2011
I like the notion that Fawkes looks like a chicken, what with chicken being the "Phoenikian Bird" and actually the origin of the name "Phoenix". In The Chamber of Secrets he is described as a half-plucked turkey, but with this awesome subtle reference, this deviation seems in order.

I'm a bit confused about Dumbledore, though. Dumbledore is supposed to be eccentric, yes, but certainly not stupid, and so far he comes across as more than a bit of a fool.

You do not make the main genious of a whole series of books a fool without a good reason. I look forward to seeing yours, unless I'm wrong.

Also a great notion that Dumbledore reads Lord of the Rings. The parallels between him and Gandalf are so obvious that it seems deliberate, and now - surprise - it turns out it is.
Psyche Sinclair chapter 17 . 8/2/2011
"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

Oh my god. Way to kill me with laughter. Do you know how hard it is to clean snorted peppermint tea off of a computer screen, keyboard, and a desk?

This story is hilarious!
Xan015 chapter 17 . 7/29/2011
Thank you for writing this story - I am really enjoying it, and I cannot guess where it will go next, which is refrreshing, and I can honestly say I have not read a fanfic like it!
xan avalon chapter 17 . 7/27/2011
May I just say that I nominate iHarry's Internal Critic promptly awarded him the All-Time Award for the Worst Acting in the History of Ever./i as the single best line in fan (or for that matter any) fic in the same time frame?

brilliant work here Mr/Ms Wrong. I would do a more thorough review but keep getting distracted pulled along into reading more. Even though I am now on my 4th trip through, a loop I am stuck in until we get, um, y'know, another chapter or 17...
RainyDays87 chapter 17 . 7/22/2011
I don't know how to describe how this story, and chapter, have made me feel so far... So I'll just say that I like it.
Alaude2019 chapter 17 . 7/10/2011
omg Dumbledore's so crazy. I was literally laughing the entire time for the Rock part, that was just hilarious. I have no clue why he had the rock. The potions book thing was pretty creepy though.

Although I'm so glad that you aren't basically turning Dumbledore into a second Voldemort (as a lot of wise/slightlydark!Harry fanfics tend to portray him as in my experience). This chapter has probably been my favorite since the one with Draco and Harry's in the story haha (which was chapter 5 I think).
some guy chapter 17 . 6/30/2011
I still don't understand the relationship between time travel and the message that Harry recieved; maybe I'm not supposed to understand...
diz chapter 17 . 6/26/2011
You're introducing the hallows already? Now I can't take this seriously. Of course I'll keep reading! I will just think of this as a parody and commentary instead.

It's curious that everything seems to happen on a Thursday. What an odd pattern.
X-elemental chapter 17 . 6/15/2011
I love how "DO NOT MESS WITH TIME" is the only stable time loop where the time stops looping for the poor piece of paper. Yes, it is newly ripped every time, but...One might tread if in one time loop something happened that was inevitable to happen sooner or later, and thus locked Harry out without answer.

Also, excellent story(not the best emotionally intense, but I really had to think about parts of it). Might as well fav it.
Mezzavia chapter 17 . 6/8/2011
It's kind of funny- I realized that as soon as I find something I don't agree with -the next chapter sets things right. Anyways..

Lol. I have been writing a fiction about The Lord of the Rings and the Balrog for a friend lately.. It seems to persecute me x).

I'm such a suspicious person. Dumbledore, knowing of Harry's intelligence, must've organized the whole thing (as in giving Harry the cloak with allegated such a peculiar note) to earn Harry's.. I definetely wouldn't call it trust. Whatever :). Argh. Wasn't he hinting at that when he showed Harry his notes on Lily's book? Probably their madness has just been affecting me x). But.. is he acting mad? I can't tell. So intriguing x). They had one of the oddest conversations ever.
Azreal02 chapter 17 . 5/29/2011
This is truly one of the strangest things I have ever, ever read. Congratulations.
BadArse chapter 17 . 5/20/2011
I wish I had some of your vanishing tea stuff, because I just got coke all over my computer from laughing so hard...
Morwen Tindomerel chapter 17 . 5/10/2011
So Dumbledore owns a Lens and the Maltese falcon? Not to mention what sounds like an impressive collection of Lava Lamps. AND he's a Tolkien Fan! he MUST be a good guy then!
kirkr0se chapter 17 . 5/2/2011
"Oh, the little fiddly things?" said Dumbledore. "They came with the Headmaster's office and I have absolutely no idea what most of them do. Although this dial with the eight hands counts the number of, let's call them sneezes, by left-handed witches within the borders of France, you would not believe how much work it took to nail that down. And this one with the golden wibblers is my own invention and Minerva is never, ever going to figure out what it's doing."

I absolutely adored that.

~Mademise Morte
haveyouconsiderednot chapter 17 . 4/7/2011
My brain hurts.

I suppose this will be a common occurance with this story.

It sometimes makes me feel ignorant and stupid, yet I can't stop reading…
RandomFanX chapter 17 . 3/28/2011

but he's a really funny lunatic
Leo chapter 17 . 3/19/2011
I can't believe it took me this long to realise Dumbledore never actually said the chicken was Fawkes. Not Technically a liar, I take it?
Firedamaged chapter 17 . 3/15/2011
You are an evil, evil person. I'm laughing so hard, I can barely breathe, I'm on the verge of tearing my hair out in confusion, my brain feels like it's exploding at all the possibilities you're picking apart, I may never look at the 'potterverse' or whatever you want to call it the same way again and I'm not even a quarter of the way through the story. Worse than all this, worse even than everything else is that I CANNOT STOP READING!

This story is like some kind of retarded uber-logical, insano-vision heroin being pumped into my brain through my eye sockets.

People call me insane because my mind skips over random trains of thought to different, seemingly unrelated things on a regular basis. This often involves me asking weird questions out of context, laughing quietly to myself and even holding one-sided conversations when I think no one is watching. I tell you this to put into perspective that I actually fear the brain that cooked this madness up.

You have earned a great deal of my respect and not a small amount of fear with this fic.

Keep up the good work


saintjimmy84 chapter 17 . 3/9/2011
This is quite possibly one of the most addicting stories I have ever read. Period. The constant clash between science and magic, between the rational and the irrational, generates a constant tension and feeling of otherworldliness that permeates the entire story. The writing is brilliant and you have taken the characters and turned them into something unique and far more interesting than they originally were.

I just finished chapter 17 and it seems obvious to me what Dumbledore was trying to communicate to Harry with his mother's textbook. It seems to me that he's admitting to Harry that he, too, is messing with things like Fate and Time. And then he burns a chicken.

Anyhow, I have no constructive feedback to offer you at this point, and it seems to me that to do so would be pretentious. You are a far better author than I am. I suppose part of the reason I like your story so much is because the themes resonate so deeply with me - rationality vs. irrationality, the weirdness of the cosmos, the simple, elegant truth hidden behind a veil of confusing, contradictory concepts - these are the things I think about, and to find a story that thinks about them, too, is refreshing. The whole story thus far strikes me as an apt metaphor for science itself - Harry is abuzz right now with the excitement that comes from delving in to the secrets of the universe, and I wonder what mushroom clouds he is going to have to behold before he learns the wisdom of self doubt.
Goldrune09 chapter 17 . 2/27/2011 I'm REALLY confused...
AnFan-n-More chapter 17 . 2/23/2011
Ah well, apparently the humor is still there though not as prevalent. Unfortunately, the lack of control and dark aspect of the story has been getting too strong.

I looked for reviews in my history and couldn't find them (I copy and keep the old ones before they exceed the max kept on the site). I also get the feeling that this is as far as I got last time I read your story.

Maybe third times a charm, and next time I try reading it I'll get farther. Unfortunately I don't like Dark Lord Harry stories, and this one threatens it almost constantly. It is very creative writing though, and I applaud your work. Thanks.
ARMH chapter 17 . 2/20/2011
Dumbledore is incredibly insane. Super creepy about the book, just weird about the rock. I thought it might be the second Hallow my first read through but maybe he's just crazy, and this one is way to big to be spun around in one's hand.
The Lonely Ant chapter 17 . 2/13/2011
It seems that every time I glance down, another hour or so has passed and I have no idea why. Also, it's now 2:30 am, and I usually like to be in bed by no later than 12:30, even on a weekend, which this is, and only a really good story can keep me up this late and I've been so listless without a good story so Thank You for writing this.
randomizer-random chapter 17 . 2/7/2011
Your story caused me to perform the action called "facepalm" uncountable times so far. Now my face hurts :)
Mystamir chapter 17 . 2/3/2011
Seldom have I been subjected to such giggle attacks when reading a story. Also I have to applaud your D&Dishness, as the NPC or PC question to Hermione in a previous chapter made me cheer :)
OneGiantLeap chapter 17 . 1/16/2011
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL OOOOMMMMGGGG LOLOLOLOLOL! I would fav this fic 10000000x XDDD LOL Marshmellow is just stuck in my head now...its like maarrrrsshhhmeeellloooowwww...~~~ LOL BURNING CHICKEN O
Tormuse chapter 17 . 1/12/2011
Well, Dumbledore *does* seem to be behaving even more strangely than his canon counterpart, but then again, perhaps he feels a need to ramp up his quirkiness to throw off Harry's higher intelligence. That way his hints are more subtle. (He does still seem to be pressing the idea of Harry exploring that third floor corridor)
HOLLYd chapter 17 . 1/9/2011



ohhhhhhhh man. that rock bit was really quite good. really, funniest thing I've ever read. haven't laughed that hard in a very long time.

Dodos-r-not-extinct chapter 17 . 1/5/2011
It's a bit of a shame to not have Harry flying but I guess this Harry, your Harry, is a different person entirely.

"That you most certainly are!" Dumbledore said. "Thankfully the Words of Power and Madness were lost seven centuries ago and no one has the slightest idea what they are anymore. It was just a little remark." - That is such Dumbledore thing to say, well done.

And then it gets hilariously weird...
Tangshou chapter 17 . 1/4/2011
The meeting with Dumbledore was a little too silly, which is usually a good thing IMHO, but not this time. Some parts were good though. I finally understand why Harry said he was thirsty, because he felt an urge to drink Comed-Tea.

I think what D is revealing here with Lily's potions book is that D helped to make the potion that made Harry's other mom pretty.
minnie chapter 17 . 12/14/2010
Also: seriously, broomsticks? He was going to fly on, basically, a line segment? Wasn't that pretty much the single most unstable shape you could possibly find, short of attempting to hold on to a point marble? Who'd selected that design for a flying device, out of all the possibilities...

-one of the funniest things I've ever read in fanfiction!
Gelacacine chapter 17 . 12/13/2010
Um, just saying, with three arms instead of one (using the Time Turner with invisibility cloak, both hands) even Harry should be able to win an arm wrestling contest against Goyle. Have his time turner self help...
MungoJerry chapter 17 . 12/13/2010
Albus Dumbledore- as omniscient as ever. Perhaps... even to the point of knowing about his cannon incarnation? That would explain his madness and apologies.
Ben Young chapter 17 . 12/11/2010
I don't think that integer factorization is known to be NP-hard. You could maybe have had him brute-force the backpack problem or something. :)

I've been enjoying your work greatly. Thanks for doing this.
w chapter 17 . 12/10/2010
Will we make it to 10K before Christmas, I wonder.

Nice things:

Factorization via TT is a nice idea, but what's really nice is how this got resolved. Though he should also notice it would solve all mathematical problems if it worked.

"would just die". Well yes.

"Draco himself was wearing a very controlled face that twitched occasionally, from which Harry inferred that Draco thought it was hilarious but saw no political advantage to be gained by laughing about it now instead of in the Slytherin dungeons afterward.

" - beautiful.

"Hadn't Madam Hooch said that would get him expelled?" - I love his naivety. This is actually excellent where you do make him naive, despite all the intelligence.

'"Just do it," said Terry Boot in a weary voice. "No point asking why, trust me on this one."'

Dean something. Does he know Ichigo?

'"It's a plot hole," said Harry. "I made myself weird enough to distract the universe for a moment and it forgot that Goyle had already picked up the Remembrall."


"Dean something"

Yes, yes, red remembrall is a hint and a usual I have no idea what of.

" I can well foresee that I am fated to sit in the Headmaster's office and hear some hilarious tale about Professor Quirrell in which you and you alone play a starring role, after which there will be no choice but to fire him." heh heh, I did think that Azkaban escapade would be it.


"Words of P&M got lost".

Yes, I do think the idea of D having learned how to hack reality since it obeys heroical patterns is quite cool.

I love the Tolkien reference with D looking at the cloak.

The idea of the rock. I do think Dinosaurusgede Elvis picture belongs here.

"Dumbledore entirely failed to ask any questions about this cryptic statement. " D is excellent here as well. I think one of the weaknesses of 62 or sth is that he's not crazy enough there.

I still don't get why he'd go to Lily's bedroom.

Sneezes, eh.

"Apologies are good" that doesn't even make sense! What am I talking about?

"Yes, I'm very angry!" said Harry. "Grrr!"

Harry's Internal Critic promptly awarded him the All-Time Award for the Worst Acting in the History of Ever.
Vermouth chapter 17 . 12/3/2010
This has got to be the most original yet solid portrayal of Harry I've ever had the pleasure to read. And this chapter has reduced me to tears of laughter, well done!
Cringo chapter 17 . 11/26/2010
The more I read your story, the more confused I get. I understand it is a drama/humor but still it makes absolutely no sense and I still don't understand why it is listed as Harry/Hermione. I'm trying to muddle thru but I'm not sure if I like it as much as I did when I began reading it...all I can hope is maybe it will start making sense soon.
Cyclic Infinity chapter 17 . 11/23/2010
This story is still good, but now, sadly, I have several complaints of varying severity.

Firstly, Dumbledore is too insane. It's hilarious, but he is too insane, and unless this is given a valid explanation later in the story, it will continue to bother me, and I will continue to bother you about it.

Secondly, I am very sad that Fawkes is not a he really is a Phoenix and Harry has been fooled. But if he is not, the introduction of a real phoenix would be awesome.

Thirdly, too many damn mysteries! Where did the second remembrall come from? Why did it shine? What EXACTLY is up with Quirrell? and etc...

But still, your story is still good and these complaints are all minor.
timunderwood9 chapter 17 . 11/23/2010
kira66 chapter 17 . 11/20/2010
"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

OMG! I howled when I read that! Brilliant! Just brilliant!
Trivia chapter 17 . 11/10/2010
Did you know that the Japanese version of a pheonix does in fact look like a chicken?. (Well, technically it's more like a rooster with a long, colorful tail.)
AspergianStoryteller chapter 17 . 11/2/2010
You've made Dumbledore crazier than cannon. Congratulations. Neh, maybe Harry has 4 mental shoulder angels. :)
bebepantheon chapter 17 . 10/25/2010
i'm getting a little confused... what is wrong with harry.?
Indigo Ziona chapter 17 . 10/17/2010
Very, very funny :) I think Harry really did make Dumbledore insane with Comed-Tea. I wish I could copy and paste more favourite lines because I have so many - "Please, Harry!" said Dumbledore. "Headmaster sounds so formal. Just call me Heh for short." That made me laugh. Also like the first flying lesson, Harry's Lord of thr Rings references (there's something comforting and very realistic about Harry referring to Dumbledore as Gandalf. Why Harry, you're a *real* boy...), "your father's rock", the obvious Half Blood Prince references and so on. So very funny.
Shadow2341 chapter 17 . 10/14/2010
oh man this is hilarious... sometimes I wonder if its a crackfic, then Harry starts going on about things I barely can wrap my head around in the slightest... its like Sheldon Cooper took over Harry's body and went to Hogwarts.
Nerdfish chapter 17 . 10/12/2010
The probability of an positive error with 20 test of 0.5 accuracy among 1,000,000 samples is about 0.61. Something like like :P
Paganimagus chapter 17 . 10/9/2010
"Headmaster sounds so formal. Just call me Heh for short."


Where do you come up with these lines?

I want a map detailing how to go there
Kutta chapter 17 . 10/9/2010
Great chapter
LunaSlashSea chapter 17 . 10/6/2010
ROFLMAO! Excellent chapter.
dinosaurusgede chapter 17 . 10/5/2010
That confirms it, Dumbly is crazy!

i LOVE love love the part when Dumbly, showed Harry 'this, was your father's rock'.
Nakedkali chapter 17 . 10/4/2010
Now we know enough about this stories' version of McGonagall to know that she is not going to give up on that Golden Wibbler. Just because Dumbledore thinks she won't figure it out for herself doesn't mean she won't swallow her pride and ask for help.
Eli Courtwright chapter 17 . 10/2/2010
Normally I try to point out specific things about a chapter I especially like, but the entire scene with Dumbledore was so awesome I can't bring myself to pick out any particular exchange.
FeepingCreature chapter 17 . 9/12/2010
"Although this dial with the eight hands counts the number of, let's call them sneezes, by left-handed witches within the borders of France - "

"Sneezes". Yeah, right.

Dumbledore you _dawg_.
bluewillow chapter 17 . 9/12/2010
I had a realization (I think) as I was falling asleep last night.

The rock that Dumbledore gives Harry is the Resurrection Stone. See, the Resurrection Stone had the image of the Deathly Hallows on it. Marvolo Gaunt referred to it as the Peverell 'coat of arms'. The Deathly Hallows was on the Peverell gravestone in Godric's Hollow, and Dumbledore reckoned that James Potter was a direct descendant of Ignotus Peverell (hence his possession of the Invisibility Cloak). Peverell for "your father" (or in your father's line) and deathly hallow/resurrection stone for "rock".

Or it could all just be a mindf**k. Hard to tell.
Visitkarte chapter 17 . 9/9/2010

This was the funniest Dumbledore-Bashing-Bashing I've ever read. I'd love to see how he manages to fulfill his request.
twistyguru chapter 17 . 9/7/2010
I've just discovered and begun reading this fic, and overall I think that it's well done. However, I cry FOUL on the 'Do Not Mess With Time' result! What possibly motivated your highly rational, mechanistic Harry to so blatantly sabotage the results of his own experiment?

I smell a writer who had this really, really neat idea...and no way to pull it off without a fudge like this. But, that's okay-it's something that's done all the time, and the idea itself was fairly neat.

Now, in Albus' office: a Lens, the Grail, and the Maltese Falcon. Interesting...

Poor convinced that he can rationalize the world! It brings back so many memories to me, back when I also felt the same. However, now that I'm closer to Dumbledore's age than Harry's, I can look back and see just how foolish such notions are. Hopefully, before the fic is done, Harry will learn that it is an immutable fact that the inflexible identity of A does not hold when living things (and magic) are involved. A need not always equal A, when the human heart and mind are stirred into the mix.

I do hope that he manages this realization without having to spend time in St. Mungo's mind-healing ward.
Tall Tails - Feline Jaye chapter 17 . 9/5/2010
I really hope some Troper added Fridge Horror to this fic's page... (The Headmaster PERIODICALLY sets a chicken ON FIRE. o_0) Also, this fic seems to have descended into madness a few chapters ago but I was laughing to hard to notice & now I have NO CLUE what is happening yet I am still loving it. Congrats - you have looped me in a pardox.
Ganjapanda chapter 17 . 9/1/2010
Best chapter yet! I literally rotfl'ed.
Zebra Scale chapter 17 . 8/27/2010
This is the weakest of the chapters you have written hands down. Dumbledor feels wrong (Especialy when he pulls the egg obviously from his pocket.) Dumbledor feels like a much 'better' character in the later chapters. Here, he's clearly holding the idiot ball.
Donteatacowman chapter 17 . 8/22/2010
Hahaha, this is so SCARY because I'm not quite sure whether you've made the Headmaster insane or if the plot will force Harry into listening to him no matter what he does...

"It was 6:21pm on Thursday afternoon"

Ha! No, this time it was *6:12* on a SUNDAY afternoon. :D Take that, strange coincidences following me around!
GradStudent chapter 17 . 8/20/2010
Hiya! First, kudos on the fanfic, I'm really enjoying it.

However, I need to nitpick on the P vs NP portions of this chapter.

First, factoring large near-prime numbers is known to be in the intersection of NP and co-NP. It is not known, however to be NP hard. In order to show anything, Harry would need to demonstrate factoring to be NP-hard. Demonstrating this mean that NP Co-NP, which is unknown. A better choice of problem would be 3-SAT, which is known to be NP-hard.

Second, if I understand the matter right, since the only stable time loop is one in which Harry picks up the prime factors, then he is expecting to get the correct factors the first time he picks up the scrap of paper from the future. Because of this, the computation occurs in constant time. Showing that NP-hard problems can be solved in constant time is a much stronger result than showing that they are in P.

Third, since he chose two three digit numbers, the computation is already in constant time. This, really really, a nitpick, but the complexity classes are based on having a variable length input, as is all analysis of algorithms.

Fourth, the time turner can only be used 6 times per day. Because of this, Harry doesn't get enough uses of the time turner to achieve this result.

Fifth, assuming that the time turner allowed infinite uses, the mechanism that Harry Potter is operating is not a polynomial time mechanism.

It's still a cool concept, and you can do what you want to do, but you need to tighten the language a bit.

Anyway, I've quickly become a big fan of this fanfic! I hope you don't hate me for pointing out these flaws!
Min chapter 17 . 8/19/2010
Wow, fantastic chapter! You are very, very creative. One of the best scenes with the headmaster I've ever read.
defunct1 chapter 17 . 8/19/2010
This is THE funniest thing I have EVER read. I think. And I should say something coherent, but I'm laughing too hard.
Cuckoo Cloud Lander chapter 17 . 8/15/2010
Andrew chapter 17 . 8/13/2010
Ha we fail. s/my/our
Andrew chapter 17 . 8/13/2010

We're big fans of this fic, and of your other work on yudkowsky and lesswrong, and perhaps spend rather a lot of my time exploring ideas that seem relevant.

Specifically relevant to this chapter is a discussion we had earlier, as to thefactors that increase the power in a Wizard. It doesn't quit fit with the genetics idea, but we think it's interesting nonetheless.

We were discussing the probability of a person having double initials (AA,BB etc) and the chance of four of them meeting up. It seems rather unlikely, and the next step even moreso; what is the possibility that they were the most powerful wizards and witches of their generation. I'm referring to the Hogwart founders, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw, Godric Griffindor and Salazar Slytherin.

We were wondering if there was any correlation between having a double initial and magical power. If you look at others in Harry Potter it appears so. There is Minerva Mcgonagall, Severus Snape, Bellatrix Black (before she was married), Gellert Grindelwald, Luna Lovegood, Quirinius Quirrell, Colin Creevey and Bertie Bott. Almost all of them display high levels of magical skill or ability.

Mcgonagall is an expert in transfiguration, Snape is a master occlumens (better than Voldemort is leglimens), Bellatrix is a skilled dark witch, Grindelwald was possibly the most dangerous Dark Wizard of all time (Tom Riddle excepted), Luna Lovegood managed to produce a 5th grade spell in grade four under Harry's tutelage (and is kind of other worldly, in a sense) and Colin certainly went along to the DA meetings, and Bertie Bott is responsible for a magical candy which no doubt took skill to produce.

The last three would perhaps disprove this theory, but perhaps it heightens the power already held? Or perhaps it only helps them come into their power when older?

One can just imagine Harry's frustration at something as illogical as that.

The same concept of double initialed names appears in the ghost; Bloody Baron, Nearly Headless Nick, Moaning Myrtle. It's possible that this naming helps to keep them close to the world.

We thought you might be interested in it, or at the very least just writing it all down was awesome fun. We thought it'd be cool to get a rational mention :)


Andrew and Beth
artloife chapter 17 . 8/7/2010
...I'm so confused.
DES chapter 17 . 8/7/2010
repeat after me:

*greatest* common denominator

*greatest* common denominator

*greatest* common denominator

*greatest* common denominator

*greatest* common denominator
Athla chapter 17 . 8/2/2010
For a fic that has ratinality in it's title I sure seem to be getting mind****ed damn near each chapter.

yay! time for another chapter.
Tara Ash chapter 17 . 7/30/2010
In these first few chapters I have swung between hysterical laughter, dread about having to read-watch Harry turning into The Worst Dark Lord Ever, We Really Mean It and curiosity (about how a nearly pure logical approach to the wizarding world would effect one's view of it, to 2-4-6 problems, to what on Earth was happening to Harry, to where I could get some of that remarkable tea and then back through all of them again, plus a few extra emotions just for kicks).

In short, it's been a fun ride, and I'm really looking forward to the next chapters!

(Though I'm still a bit disappointed about him not choosing Hufflepuff. Despite the fact that it would have made a bloody dull story.)

(Also, I like your McGonagall. She's quite fun).

(And I could never get the hang of Thursdays either, so I can relate to Harry on that one).
Bill4728 chapter 17 . 7/30/2010
"Harry nodded, his eyes very wide. Then, after a second, "What do I get if I can make it happen on the last day of the school year?"

"Get out of my office!" "

OMG I just find myself LOL when I'm reading this story.

chudeusz chapter 17 . 7/28/2010
woow, I just started reading it and wooow

are you by any chance the author of xkcd? I see similarities:D

ilove how it totally reflects the process of reading hp, and your thoughts on it as harry's, at suspension of disbelief I lmfo
dkorduban chapter 17 . 7/24/2010
Time travel and fast computations (PPSPACE?): /abs/1005.2219
Kevin S. Van Horn chapter 17 . 7/24/2010
Harry is wrong in thinking that "He wouldn't have just shown that PNP once you had a Time-Turner, this trick was more general than that." First of all, the problems in NP are precisely those where a solution, if it exists, can be checked in polynomial time. Thus, any problem you can solve in polynomial time with a Time-Turner is in NP. Secondly, there's the issue of what happens if no solution exists. In that case, what information do you send back in time that would let you verify in polynomial time that no solution exists? You'd have to send back some information that can be used to prove, in polynomial time, that there is no solution. This is the definition of co-NP. Thus the Time-Turner will only give you polynomial-time solutions to problems that are in *both* NP and co-NP.

As a concrete illustration, consider the Traveling Salesman Problem. A salesman wants to visit each of N cities one time each and finish back at the city from which he started, and he wants to minimize the total distance traveled. To use the Time-Turner to solve this, you could get a tour (a specific order in which to visit the cities) back from the future, and you can quickly compute the length of this tour. But how do you know that there is no shorter tour? You'd have to also receive from the future a proof that there is no shorter tour. This proof have to be something you can check in polynomial time, so it can't be, say, a listing of all possible tours and their lengths. But sadly, the Traveling Salesman Problem is not known to be in co-NP. That is, it is not known whether there always exists a polynomial-length proof that no tour shorter than a given length d exists.
Phoenix Flight chapter 17 . 7/22/2010
Admittedly, I'm somewhat suggestible, but the passing thought of 'DO NOT MESS WITH TIME' still makes me shiver occasionally in the middle of the night.
dkorduban chapter 17 . 7/13/2010
The best fictional approach to hard computational problems EVER. ) Nice job man; write more.
Solitary Sanctuary chapter 17 . 7/5/2010
Fookin' Brilliant! Funny too much, this is!

Barmy Headmaster is a barmy headmaster. Damn it, so the rock serves no purpose at all. Haha.

Damn logical riddles Harry and Dumbledore argued over. Hahaha.

hypercell chapter 17 . 7/3/2010
Ok, wow, confusing chapter AGAIN. This story confuses me. Maybe I just miss words. Probably that is it.
HellsMaji chapter 17 . 6/30/2010
Holy..crap... Your story is starting to scare the hell out of me..
HopePoe26 chapter 17 . 6/26/2010

This is a VERY COOL story! But it's also VERY HEADACHE INDUCING. So... even though it pains me to quit... I will quit read it right now or my brain will self-implode with all the rationality and magic related items.

Total Chaos.

- Keep on writing.
James Birdsong chapter 17 . 6/24/2010
*laughs* Beautiful
Apakoha chapter 17 . 6/24/2010
...So... Does Methods of Rationality become a crack!fic on Thursdays? Just curious.

mist shadow chapter 17 . 6/23/2010
you know, this whole chapter i had no idea what to do - laugh my ass off, go round-eyed and slack-jawed, go "wha..?", repeatedly restart my brain after in repeatedly got fried, or just sit back and enjoy the chapter. In the end, I did all the above plus couple of other unstated things. thank you.

oh, and thursday is not finished yet, is it? poor Harry

well, i'll just enjoy his 'torture' *gigles evilly* (hmm, can you actually giggle evilly?)
Ofunu chapter 17 . 6/18/2010
Alright...first your Harry gives me headaches, then your Quirell has me flabbergasted, and now your Dumbledore is bonkers beyond my own comprehension. Just what the hell is going on? I can understand shit of what's happening here, i'm going insane whaaa! anyway the story is still good, now back to my crazy scream...whaaaa!
phil chapter 17 . 6/13/2010
I am so very disappointed that there was only one rock.

~Harry stared in horror at the desk that the Headmaster suggested he get his father's rocks off...

Much better you see.
Shally-wa chapter 17 . 6/13/2010
I was GOING to wait and review this when I'd finished up through the last update. But then this chapter, and... GAH.

First things first. Your Harry is absolutely AWESOME. He is more amusing than almost anything I have ever heard of. He reminds me a little of Jason Fox, if you've ever read Fox Trot...

Also, the messing around with time is A Very Good Thing. I love how he is discovering how to use a Time Turner.

I wonder who gave him the Cloak, though? Since the person is obviously knowledgeable about both the Hallows and, to a degree, Albus's past... I have a strange feeling it is actually Albus, like in the original. Speaking of Albus's past - the bit where Harry is talking about turning Draco towards the Light! I loved Albus's reaction; it was really really like he was afraid that Draco would wind up being Harry's Gellert or something. (Also, this was why I had to review at this chapter)

Also, the stone... I have a very good idea of what that will turn out to be. Though with all the ring imagery, you could just as well be trying to turn all us DH-supergeeks down the COMPLETELY WRONG PATH.

Also love: Fawkes the chicken, the alternate sorting options (KHAAAAAAAANNNNN!), the possible 47 references, and the idea in general. From someone who has spent waayyyy too much time thinking about the laws which the magical world follows, science HP awesome. chapter 17 . 6/13/2010
While the revelation that Dumbledore was writing in Lily's notebook is more than a little creepy, it becomes less so if you make the assumption that much like his canon counterpart, this Dumbledore is also gay. I'm going to assume that, even if it was never directly stated as such, you would hold with Rowling's interpretation.

With that in mind, I'd guess that why he would help Lily would be out of some quasi-fatherly affection like he began to develop for Harry. Though of course that's assuming that he hasn't just been lying. (If he felt curious, all he'd need is a sample of James Potter's, Dumbledore's and Snape's handwriting and some magical way of comparing it)

...It's obvious that Dumbledore decided that this Harry required drastically different tactics, and I'd wager he also was on some level enjoying himself tremendously in making Harry's life as surreal as possible. I'm not sure how so many people are missing the fact that Dumbledore is messing with Harry to a tremendous degree (and maybe messing with Voldemort by proxy?) I'm not sure if he deliberately made Fawkes look like a chicken or if Harry was just being stubborn. In any case, he should be in for a surprise next year I guess.
dogbertcarroll chapter 17 . 6/13/2010
Harry nodded, his eyes very wide. Then, after a second, "What do I get if I can make it happen on the last day of the school year?"

"Get out of my office!"


Dumbledore is even crazier than Harry. I'm Beginning to think magic works the best for the crazy folk.
sastath chapter 17 . 6/7/2010
What the hell just happened? I'm so lost.
Meatzman2 chapter 17 . 6/6/2010
Jebas Christ I'm so fucking confused. I can follow some of the arguments, sometimes, but mostly my brain's a flip-flopping.

Your story is funny and interesting, I particularly enjoy not understanding things and having to look them up, this story has plenty of those so thanks very much. Please excuse me however if I go take a long break from it, the weirdness is making my brain hurt.
Drake chapter 17 . 6/5/2010
Great story but one small correction. What you named "favoring the hypothesis" actually already has a name: argumentum ad ignorantiam (commonly known as the magic spaghettii monster argument, ex: There is a magic spaghettii monster nobody can see because it is magical. There is no such think! Prove me wrong! ummmmm... Logical fallacy argumentum ad ignorantiam, HA I just proved you wrong.). Sorry for being nit picky but the inner debater and philsopoher within me would have died unless I made this comment.
wobster109 chapter 17 . 6/2/2010
This made me sign up an account here

Loved the awesome prime number experiment. Please update soon!
Lordlyhour chapter 17 . 5/28/2010
love the madscientists club reference in chapter 17 (mortimer snodgrass *smirk*)
Esreque chapter 17 . 5/27/2010




...What the F$#%?
minerdude chapter 17 . 5/26/2010
Wow neat story, Dumbledore is insane, but it seems to fit with the story. Did he have the cloak and is messing with Harry's head or what? Again great story
Mr.Destructo chapter 17 . 5/21/2010
omg a review!
ears chapter 17 . 5/20/2010
This may very well be the funniest thing in fanfic I've ever read (Okay, up there with Nonjon). A Rock, a giant bloody rock and he's supposed to carry it everywhere, splendid, this Dumbledore is madder then any I've ever read and its only Harry's first year, shall be interesting to see how much more insane he can get. He's also creepier then any others I've read, sneaking into a students dorm to write secret messages back and forth with them, yikes! The story is fantastic so far.
ClRuM chapter 17 . 5/17/2010
Oh Jesus Christ I could not stop laughing at chapter 17! I've read fics where Dumbledore was insane but I have NEVER seen him anywhere near as crazy as this! That was awesome!
CeilingFan chapter 17 . 5/15/2010
Heh. I think the second book is my favorite, in large part because of the "OH GOD I KILLED THE HEADMASTER'S CHICKEN" scene.
Tangerine-Alert chapter 17 . 5/14/2010
Throughout that whole chapter I kept imagining Dumbledore looking and sounding like Dumbledore from 'Potter Puppet Pals'.
Loonynamelass chapter 17 . 5/13/2010
Oh my. The Dumbledore of the books wasn't really insane at all, and so it is slightly frightening to observe this apparent madness.
Guile chapter 17 . 5/11/2010
This story is so, so hilarious.

It was enjoyable at the beginning (and I really do like Rationalist!Harry), and then just jumped off the rails around the time Harry got his Time Turner and soared off into brand new vistas of awesome.

Wow, that prank Harry played on himself? Beautifully done. I had no idea what was going on. And Harry and Dumbledore's exchange just about had me in stitches. So weird. Hell, even the disclaimers often garner a chuckle from me.

Eagerly awaiting more.
RaeRae9 chapter 17 . 5/10/2010
Why did you have to stop writing, i love this story. Is amazing. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE would you be so kind as to finish itt? Its amazing. Harry potters house of doom? come on
SensiblyTainted chapter 17 . 5/9/2010
Hey, this is actually a comment on your A/N for chapter 20.

I've been writing fanfiction for many years. I've learned that even if something is glaringly obvious (VoldemortQuirell), if the POV/main character does not suspect/know a fact then the reader limits themself to the same ignorance unknowingly to enhace their experience of the story. We are Harry while we read, so if he doesn't know. We perforce don't know. Those who have broken this habit and look for clues usually pick them up on a second reading, and people don't generaly do that. So for those who know early, that's great, but don't sweat others not knowing. Ignore them and be satisfied they will be surprise and feel really astonished they didn't pick it up earlier when it is revealed to Harry in the story who Quirell really is.

As for the quiz...

1) B - It is by far worse to do than to think about, though there is some argument about this, but that's my answer.

2) B - because I still like Draco? On the other hand, I'm liking your Quirell who is Voldy, so maybe I'm just not very judgemental.

3) A - 0, because while Voldie is an adult and his act is more unforgivable, it is expected and so earns no real remark, but Draco is 11 and his thoughts are unexpected, even though hell yes 11 year olds can think really terrible things sometimes and we know it. Still... it was unexpected... (shrug)
dead feather chapter 17 . 5/8/2010
What was the point with Harry's morning experience. I didn't really see it...
darksidhe42 chapter 17 . 5/6/2010
1st: Can Harry cloud watch from his rock? Like Zed...

2nd: A young mysterious ancient wizard: YES!

um... what's up with Dumbles?

and why is Harry carrying around the philosopher's stone?
Sangemaru chapter 17 . 5/6/2010
Like... seriously... what the hell.
I mean... Methods of Rationali-ZSAK%#%#)D(W)F)CRITICAL)(*)SYSTEM()*()&ERROR-ty.
No offsense but what sort of sense is chapter 17 supposed to make?
Not to mention the fact that it makes Dumbledore look nowhere near as powerful and wise as he would be powerful, insane and very very stupid.

And unless it's all a ruse, isn't it sort of in violation of the laws of fanfiction mentioned on your profile description?
Jeff chapter 17 . 5/6/2010
embirsiphonelilathia chapter 17 . 5/6/2010
About to read the next chapter but somethings been bugging me for quite awhile.. if Pettigrew's burried at the burrow then does sirius STILL escape azkaban? For all different reasons or is he just going to rot there.. o.O I'm not exactly sure though I have to say this story has been more than fantastic so far!
KrisTerms chapter 17 . 5/5/2010
I know your going to do a good job wrapping up the rock thing... and I just wanted to know that it pulled me in.

Great writing.

YOUR writing to be exact.
DoubleC chapter 17 . 5/3/2010
The desription of Dumbledore is, probably, the best I've ever read.
Oh the Star Wars references! The fan in me is rejoycing at every mention. And the quest/inventory remark was delicius. ))
After the confrontation with Dumbles, I'm thinking this story isn't that serious after all. Possibly. - It's awesome, though, I'm left guessing at every line, what reasons there are for anything that happens. Getting more and more complex here, r, alternatively, more and more cracky, maybe both. )
DoubleC chapter 17 . 5/3/2010
Mid-chapter and bewilodered. I thought this story was somewhat serious, and MacGonagal's behaviour doesn'r fit. What's this about not reporting on the awesome!Quirrel? Seems to me like the whole faculty is under Imperius on this particular issue, doesn't really make sense otherwise. Just a directive from Dumbles, surely, couldn't cause such attitude from Minerva...

Enjoying the time riddle exceedingly.
Pathatlon chapter 17 . 5/2/2010
This was... really, really funny. And really, really odd...
Viridiantly chapter 17 . 5/2/2010
This story reminded me disturbingly of my classmates and friends from my 'highly gifted education' days. It was kind of hard to read at first because Harry reminded me all too much of a smart kid who's just discovered rhetoric and hasn't had any intelligent peers to talk to, but the story is getting more and more awesome with each chapter. Hope you keep it up!
Cubist chapter 17 . 5/1/2010
The dire secret which is contained is the fifth-year Potions book: It would not surprise me if this secret turns out to be related to the Potion of Eagle's Splendor notes - specifically, something to do with the substituted ingredients. Very interesting...
Ankalagon chapter 17 . 5/1/2010

I've heard that you've stated you don't consider this a crackfic. I agree since it's obvious any crack that'd be present would be found solely in your crackpipe - and oh my f*cking god where can I get some?

Also, nice read.
Maelcom Lehane chapter 17 . 5/1/2010
Absolutely fantastic. I haven't enjoyed a story this much in some time. The whole thing has a feel of Doctor Who gone magic. So far my favorite interactions are Harry and Mcgonagall, with Draco being a close second. And from someone who normally hates Malfoy that's high praise indeed. Keep up the brilliant work. I can't wait to read more!
TBooki chapter 17 . 5/1/2010
Alright, so this fic is definitely unique! Wow is the only word I can think of right now, actually.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Kronos chapter 17 . 4/30/2010
"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

ultra dragon chapter 17 . 4/30/2010
ah...wha-? I-I...what the hell? okay this story is starting to get weirder and weirder every chapter! what the hell is going on? and why the hell is Dumbledore so insane? the rock i think i knew what it is, but the freaking book? please tell me it's one insane joke from Dumbledore...pretty please? okay i just wanted to say that this story is mind blowing. No really, i can't get half of the mathematical equations! But i really like this story, and i really hope will update it soon (wonder how Snape is like in your story? and please don't make Hermione all peace loving, please!)
p.s: didn't Dumbledore had the clock of invisibility? or did he send that to Harry himself and as a prank told him not to give it to himself? aha! it's not fair tormenting people like this!
p.s.s: lol. those sides of Harry are really killing here, i adore them! please continue with you amazing work! update soon!
Crazy-Physco chapter 17 . 4/30/2010
lmao i love this story so far lookig forward to your next chapter.
darrena chapter 17 . 4/30/2010
OMG! This is so funny )) I can't stop laughing ... I have tears in my eyes! I haven't read something so funny in a long time. You're a genius. Wishing for more chapters...
Rodrigo Black Potter chapter 17 . 4/30/2010
"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

heahheaheaheahhaeheahea good one! hahhahaah

but Heh was just kidding right? I mean he is sane? I think, maybe, hopefully... xD
mc chapter 17 . 4/30/2010
this is isane! in an insanely good way! you must barely need the encouragements, but keep up the good work ;)
You've made yourself a fan from France
IceCat Demon chapter 17 . 4/30/2010
LMFAOROFL! WWow this is the most thouroughly entertaining fanfiction I have ever read. Scratch that. It is the most thoroughly entertaining anything I have ever read. I can't wait for your next update. PLEASE UPDATE SON!
FireSpy chapter 17 . 4/30/2010
Very good story. I don't read FF, but this is good.

As to why the prime-time thing did not work, my guess is that Harry made a math mistake somewhere. My first thought was that 181429 was miscalculated, but 397 and 457 are it's prime factors. My next guess is that he made a mistake somewhere in the (997-101) * 397 457 3561,69 multiplications that the experiment required, got to the end state of 997 x 997, left the paper blank, and started the loop again. But that could only happen if he blew 397 x 457 each time. So my final guess is that the the time twister had a stack overflow somewhere in there bad enough to convince Harry Not To Mess With Time, which he promptly forgot a few hours later, messes with time, and is reminded by the Remembrall.
Roozette chapter 17 . 4/29/2010
I think I love you. Just saying. Excellent story thus far. Engaging, good flow, well thought out, interesting character portrayal.

Looking forward to more :)
Emress chapter 17 . 4/29/2010
Wow. This story takes you up and down and up and down and up and...
So parts are so hilarious and others are moving and poignant and reading this last chapter about the headmaster made me fell like what I imagine a bad acid trip might. It just kept getting stranger. BUT I can firmly say I am in love with this story and look foward to following it.
I very much enjoy Harry and McGonagall and I'll be interested to see what happens with Quirrell.
What you're doing with Draco is brilliant. His evil/dark/whatever nature is incredibly believable but you can also feel the fact that he is a child and a compex human - not a cookie cutter villian (terrible, hoorrible comments about Luna notwithstanding).
If you do follow Harry through all seven years, I'm eagerly anticipating seeing how Luna and Neville will fit into his life later. Hermione and Draco and Neville and potentially Luna... is this how he will avoid becoming cold while in Ravenclaw?
The scene with the hat was rather wonderful. It seemed that Harry was largely sorting himself, even if the hat was self-aware during the process, and for Harry to urge himself toward Hufflepuff; for Harry to try to teach himself to play the game of Life; for him to resolve not to be a Dark Lord... its all so interesting and intricate and awesome!
Bardic Knowledge chapter 17 . 4/29/2010
Oh, oh goddess, this is too damn funny, and (quite often) so true at the same time! I particularly enjoyed the plot hole scene with the Remembrall and the whole time-travel-revelation scene and and and...

(deadpan to prevent over-excitement) And I can't wait for the next chapters.
oldtimeydude chapter 17 . 4/29/2010
Hahaha! This is damned impressive I gotta say, out for almost 2 whole months and already a little over 3k reviews? Damn, you really nailed what people wanted to read. Can't wait for the next chapter.
KuMardagg chapter 17 . 4/29/2010
"Although this dial with the eight hands counts the number of, let's call them sneezes, by left-handed witches within the borders of France..."

Right, Dumbledore, sneezes. Gotcha. Say no more.
boonerunner chapter 17 . 4/29/2010
A pity that Harry can't yet solve the P vs. NP problem using time travel. Although even if he could, I doubt that any muggle mathematicians to whom he mentioned his solution would take him seriously. Until he conquers the world, of course.

I presume that Dumbledore sent Harry the cloak just like in canon. Which would mean that he also put the note about not trusting himself as well. Which would mean that Harry now trusts Dumbledore more because Dumbledore told him not to trust him. Sneaky. Was Dumbledore ever in Slytherin?

I assume that the rock is just a rock, but that the extra transfiguration practice will be helpful. Also, you never know when a huge rock might be useful for crushing something. Or for sitting on when there aren't any chairs. Or for verifying the effects of gravity. Or for confusing impressionable young logicians.
hA-UkA chapter 17 . 4/28/2010
Hilarious and creative.
Ragnok Goldgnawer chapter 17 . 4/28/2010
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I haven't laughed that hard over a story in quite some time. The scene with Dumbledore - pure surreality. Keep it up.
Folaan chapter 17 . 4/28/2010
I really like the leitmotiv of the story - an inquisitive, rational Harry. It's purely a matter of taste, of course, but in my view you are using up too much of a good thing and the plot is getting lost in between. The intent of the story is to make Harry shake magic's foundations and be the... Einstein & Planck combined of the magical world. I get that. However, all he does is enquiry upon enquiry to satisfy his popperian scientific methodology to the limit. The intellectual exercise is fun, no doubt about it, but I find that it is becoming the plot itself rather than an unique trait to reach the end as teleologically designed - revolutionize magic.

That or I misinterpreted the story entirely and feel free to correct me on that account.

Anyway, it's a very good story. Keep up the good work!
Twylyte chapter 17 . 4/28/2010
This is absolutely insane.
Seriously. It is both incredible and horrifying... I can't for the life of me explain the incredibleness or the horror that is this fic, but you should be proud about it being incredible and I'll wonder about your sanity due to the horror.
Good, really good, but crazy as a burning chicken that knows things too smart for me to really get, even though I try.
Lost MP chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
Wow... this is probably the first fan fiction that I can remember with honestly mad!Dumbledore. Even I can't figure out what he means by the combination of Harry's father's rock and Lily's potions book...
Tom Buckner chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
My thinking is that Harry's father's rock could be a metaphor for Pascal's Wager. I'd throw the rock in a river.
Pheonix Eternia chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
Holy crap, I can't stop wheezing. Wait until Harry finds out the nickname of the Order of the Phoenix is the Order of the Flaming Chicken.

That bit about Lily's potion book? Profoundly creepy. Profoundly. Harry's probably going to start sleeping in his trunk with all the locks on now just incase the headmaster decides to repeat his previous actions.
Missleliz chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
I read this entire fic in one sitting in the middle of finals week when I have a dozen other things to be doing and I don't regret it one bit. That's how fantastic it is :)

Also, Dumbledore has the Maltese Falcon? *That's* where it ends up? XD Somehow that makes sense.

And the rock thing made crack up every time it was mentioned. Well done!
TD Master chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
Good, stuff, definitely good stuff. I like this a lot.

The whole time thing isn't that hard to figure out though; it's a simple application of Shrodinger's Cat, just blown up to the time line. Multiple possibilities come into existence as you time travel, and as the Come-tea gives you the suggestion to drink it, multiple different courses of events are true all at once. And depending on your actions, or lack of them, all the time lines that aren't consistent, or lead to a tear in the fabric of space-time, simply collapse and disappear, leaving only those options that are consistent.

Thus the present, future, and past for a limited time are in a state of flux, and only by your choices - observing them - does one timeline remain.

This of course, does not exist unlimitedly. I wonder if the first to create the time-turner and made something longer than 6 hours had to magically seal tear in space-time he created as time couldn't keep the timelines from collapsing any longer.

It might also indicate why wizards are losing touch with their magic. The first wizards were actually scientists; back in a time and all trying without clear scientific method; but still, a lot closer to scientists of today than the wizards of today. Result, the earlier wizards had a far greater understanding of the why, of the physics principals behind magic (however flawed and limited that could only be), and thus could do far more and were more powerful. The subsequent generations simply repeated what worked of the earlier generations, no experiments, and thus no learning from all the mistakes, no deeper understanding of what's really going on, however limited it was during the first generations. And as a result, they've grown to be less knowledgeable, and thus weaker, and it's got nothing to do with any gentics.

Bring on Harry the rational scientists!
MegaB chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
...Whoa. Phoenixes have some crazy birthing procedures huh? Must've been quite painful.


That said, I'm entirely disappointed that I've reached up to the current chapter! I was really enjoying it! I'm not sure why Harry was so scared though; he kept his calm in far worse situations so far and that sort of struck me as out of character...

But anyway, props to you for one of the most awesome pieces of literature on this entire site. My hat off to you.

Till your next update!

themysterioustickingnoise chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
Wow. The average review is right about this story. It definitely is something else, strange in a really good kind of way ;) And I really laughed hard in the last few chapters.

Keep up the good work,
T3Ko chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
Great story. I liked your omake section.
Mr Stereo1 chapter 17 . 4/27/2010
Excellent, Insane!Dumbledore was a nice blindside.
FishGod chapter 17 . 4/27/2010






That was GOLD!

Is Harry shifting between this new Smart Harry and old Neglected Harry or something caused by a paradox in the time line that his future, now non-existent self, did or somebody else tried too make his life better or something and now created a paradox that time/universe has no idea what time line stays?
the true elec chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Harry trying to mess with time was hilarious, both times. His talk with Dumbledore was very interesting for many reasons, of which you know, but the most obvious is why Dumbledore either didn't have possession of Harry's invisibility cloak or didn't tell Harry he was the one who sent it.
lilyayl chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
(1) I really like your profile page. I have clicked the links and that is where a large portion of my day went.

(2) Apart from sounding like he has swallowed a textbook, I like your Harry and the struggles he has. I was concerned at first with Quirrell since I could not think of any actions that would have lead to the change in his teaching style/etc, but then I thought that perhaps after observing Harry in his first meeting with Quirrell, Voldemort had decided on a different tactic. And Riddle is finally getting to teach DADA.

(3) That rock may come in handy when the troll comes around. Or when he is facing Voldemort before the mirror.

(4) Will Harry even be able to remove the Stone from the mirror?

(5) Your Neville is fantastic.

(6) I really, really cannot wait until Harry meets Luna.
Guest chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Does time travel have to form a stable loop? It would be much simpler if the Many Worlds interpretation holds, and a time-turner sends you into an Everette branch that split off as of the time that he aimed for. If the Harry that already exited in that Everette branch going back in time would put him in the branch that future-Harry would come from, it would even explain why most of the time, time travel does form a stable loop, though not why it still does when Harry tries to manipulate it.
riayi chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
And here's a chapter to set most of the others chapters to shame. Of a reasonable length, it's very, very funny throughout. Harry remembers that "intent to win" stuff from Quirrell, and it seems he's found a flaw of his that'll keep rearing its ugly head. The experiment with the note and the time turner was entertaining and informative with respect to the future of the fic. I suppose that in a world where magic exists, rules have to be created in order for it to make any kind of sense. So you have to explicitly state that "create water" cannot be cast except into a container so that enterprising tweaks won't go casting it at the dragon's lungs, ruining the game session, much like you have to set clear rules for transfiguration, time turner use, and a lot of other things afterwards. On to the next thing, the scene with Dumbledure was... hm... funny, certainly, unexpected, of course, and surely educational for Harry. Too bad he's found that people can look and act much crazier than him, terrifyingly so, putting him at odds with the Headmaster. Guess he won't be becoming the only friend of the deranged Supreme Mugwump. The Remembrall is a nifty bit I hope you explain sometime. Also, I'd guess that creating an unstable time loop, would open up a can of paradoxical whoopass, making it impossible for the universe to existe unless DO NOT MESS WITH TIME was the answer. So anyhow, gotta log out now, and I hope you keep up the great story. Cheerio!
Sofia Ottoman chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
I just wanted to say that I think that this is absolutely brilliant so far.
Ijoan chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
haha. this so funny. it's great. update soon!
Lemur chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
I like chapter 17 much better the third time through than the first. Harry seems to be "privileging" the hypothesis that Dumbledore is insane. Everyone else does seem to confirm it (or say things that can be understood as confirmation), and so Harry persists. Of course, D *might* be truly mad, but Harry doesn't really understand enough about magical Britain at this point to know in what context D is operating.

D, of course, seems to be hinting that he is not mad by "making cryptic statements which can only be understood in hindsight" and so on. But, why hint? Wouldn't rational discourse be a better way to prove this point? If we assume that this is so, than perhaps D is constrained from that course in some way, either by choice or by circumstances.

Perhaps, just as canon!Dumbledore knows how to influence a gifted Gryffindor, rational!Dumbledore knows how to influence a gifted Ravenclaw. Harry, if he is to survive, must have his "art" (rationality) honed. Perhaps D knows this is the best way: massive failure followed by trying again.

I like the setup this chapter provides.

One nitpick, however. The part about the diamond-detectors was a bit confusing. Why should I need a whole boxful? If a detector works more than once, can't I run the same detector over all the boxes multiple times? Or will that get me identical results, because the failure (false positive) occurs the *exact same way* every time? Or do diamond detectors get "used up" in some way"

I originally imagined that all boxes but one had nothing inside, but that seems less likely than the possibility that each box contains something more or (much) less like a diamond, and that each detector gives a *stable* false positive. I think this part could be a little more clear.

Loving the story. I'm selling to my family as Ender-"Feynman"-Wiggin-goes-to-Hogwarts. Please keep it up.
Karg42 chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
I... What... Gah!

I think I broke my brain. Awesome story, awesome chapter, and a beautiful admission by Heh. It fits so well with cannon that any reader will understand instantly but the characters are left pounding at the dirt. Really glad you had that note saying to tuff it out 'till Chapter 5 or I might never have gotten this far.
Ichitoko chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
I am loving this story so far. It's been a really long time since a fanfic made me snort/snicker/giggle/cackle so much.
Scarlet chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Well, this is *vastly* entertaining and I'm glad to have stumbled across a link! Very funny, very engaging. Harry reminds me a lot of Bean, the genius little boy from Orson Scott Card's Ender's Shadow... which might make McGonagall Bean's nun guardian :). The similarities of intellect and approach are distinct, though Harry has a great deal more empathy.

Scarlet - at
cheekylildevil chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Oh dear, Harry, Oh dear...

That is all I can say... except that it's good to see a slightly more realistic chapter... though some bits were a bit far fetched...

Your 13th reviewer,

Jinx of the 2nd Law chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
So Harry has forgotten something that hasn't happened yet? Or may be forgetting something he needs to do with the Time Turner, but isn't at that point where he goes back...

Chicken... Phoenix... Dinosaur...

Thanks for writing and sharing this, I'm loving it!
G chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
I am greatly enjoying this story. How much of the story do you have planned out already? I am familiar with your writing in other venues, so I do trust you as an author, but you could give us a peek at the process and test your prediction skill by posting an encrypted synopsis of the plot today, then reveal the key with the final chapter. It will show both you and your readers how the story changes as you write it.

Your author notes keep mentioning the divide by zero bit. I saw that it was a math joke, and what's more, thought that it was funny. Don't let the man get you down.

I like how you nerfed the time turner. As you point out with the nuclear weapon analogy, it's simply too powerful, and must be reserved for highly contrived plot points.
kdorian chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Another new chapter, another 7 or 8 chances to laugh hysterically!

I see the Headmaster has figured out how to 'deal' with Harry - be as bizarre and illogical as possible, just to keep him off-balance.
Wolfric chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Well that was fun. Thanks for writing. W.
xxzzxxzzxxzz chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
I laughed more while reading this story than I have laughed in a long time. Brilliant. I'm actually curious about your characters, about what's going to happen to them AND what they're going to do to the world, especially in Harry's case. Omg. Harry is wonderful. Delightful. He's amazing. I wonder what is going on with Quirrel, and Dumbledore, what will happen in Snape's class in the future. Draco is a little creepy but I loved him too, before the whole 'I'm going to rape Luna' thing.

Seriously. This story. rocks. my. socks. (er, world.)

It's original, funny (so hilarious), interesting, intelligent, engaging and HAS A PLOT! YAYAYAY! YAY! A GOOD ONE! :D Harry is so trying to steer himself into not going down the Dark Lord path, I love how he wants to do good but his instincts are all crossed and twisted. I can't wait to read more. Seriously.

I'll take this opportunity to read the link you thoughtfully provided on your author page, so I can learn -things-.
Amarthiel chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
I really enjoy your story. It is hilarious but I must admit this chapter really was out there. I think the part with dumbledore was really awkward. Is the story becoming a parody? Anyways great story and love almost all of it...just not so much the dumbledore part.
WaxWings chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Thanks for the shoutout. I was glad that Harry not only tried the experiment, but that he did not become insanely powerful by doing so. To bad he chickened out. Ofcourse, I think I would chicken out as well, and I would be terrified to deliberately invoke a grandfather paradox. For example, using Harry's experiment, Deliberately write something on P1 that is different from P2.

"Sorry about the 10-day delay with this chapter, it really kicked my butt for some reason."

I think 14,277 words might have something to do with it.

I've noticed that some of the reviews show some people are a little weirded out by the scene with Dumbledore. This is my own personal interpretation:

Dumbledore sees Harry as a kindred spirit. Hasn't Harry previously threatened to make other people's lives a little bit more surreal? Dumbledore is the same.

The bit with the rock is meant to teach Harry a lesson. Maybe an argument Ad Absurdum? Harry has demonstrated that he obsesses over diverse and unlikely events and sometimes jumps to conclusions in the absence of evidence (See his shopping trip or his willingness to inject the oxygenating fire into Neville). I see in this scene Dumbledore trying to teach Harry that he needs to take a scenario's probability and the cost to prepare for the scenario into account as well. (Though, he propably should keep that rock nearby as well.)

Finally the bit with the Diary. Regardless whether Dumbledore is telling the truth that he snuck into Lily's dorm room in order to respond to her diary entries, that he told the story indicates that he is messing with Harry. I think that if Harry recognizes this, the encounter will make more sense to him.

Thanks for the update.
Alessandro chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
I have to say that I really just can't get enough of your rewrite of these characters. This is absolutely fantastic and I hope you continue it for as long as you can.

Also, your depiction of Harry slides my thought process really rather drastically in the direction of acting like him, something I try unsuccessfully to suppress ANYWAY. Thank you for waking up my chaotic side. :-)
Jamica chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Somehow, you managed to fuse rationality and insanity together into something relatively understandable. And your summary gives what it promises. Good work :)
Ellyanah chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Absolutely brilliant, and quite different from anything that attempted a similar characterization of Harry.
Me chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Your Dumbledore is too insane. No normal person would allow their children to attend a school with a headmaster like that - seriously. His and Harry's conversation also seemed to have no purpose and was difficult to follow because it was just so random.

In short: I liked the first half of Chapter 17, but not the second.
TealTerror chapter 17 . 4/26/2010
Best. Dumbledore. Ever.

I still think you're a little schizophrenic between "Harry as a plot device" and "Harry as a character," but in the presence of your Dumbledore that concern just gets completely submerged.
timber chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
ok, i admit i was desperate for something to read so i thought i would give your story another try. i shouldn't have tried. i do not know where i can get enough LSD for your to make enough sense to me.
Pointer3109 chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
"What do I get if I can make it happen on the last day of the school year?"

Good thing all wizards are crazy. I'd be transferring to a different school after her remarks. Harry's just going for extra credit.

"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

See, crazy, the lot of them.

ByLanternLight chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I am in utter awe of your comedic skills. Sheer, unadulterated awe. Okay, with maybe a little horror dashed in. Slightly-adulterated awe. 6/5.
harry-mione chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Very good story.

I'll probably be the thousandth person to write this, but this is indeed one of the most original ideas I've encountered in HP fanfiction, and pretty damn hilarious at that as well.

One question, though you can feel free to not answer it, but will there be any HPHG romance at some point? That will, of course, not affect my decision of continuing to read in any way (and believe me, I am anxious to continue), I was just wondering. I do love that couple, and I thought I sensed some romantic rivalry.
pouf chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I'd like to thank you profusely for writing this story. Thank you. It's a perfect package of rationality and madness. Well, insofar as rationality can be attained, that is. I especially like the cute references to social psychology (and all those other biases people don't realize they have until they've taken a few courses in psychology, statistics or outright reasoning-or looked it up online, which works too).

I love the way you've portrayed Harry. What do you expect? He's the classical definition of a Byronic hero. What's not to like when a character is so delightfully flawed? He's so frightfully sure of himself and of his own rationality... but he keeps getting 'lessons' that really should induce a revision of that opinion, with little real change. Tsk tsk. Bad Harry.

Still, it's terribly amusing to see him navigate among those pesky other minds.

I'm particularly glad that Harry is overwhelmed by his first few weeks in the wizarding world. Many authors concentrate too much on a super-Harry and forget that, no matter how brilliant or adaptive, an eleven-year-old is just that: a child, being thrown into an entirely new environment where everything he knows is put into question and his expectations are constantly defied (and where his own place is exceptional, on grounds he recognizes as irrational). So many questions, so few answers!

I do wonder... who did leave the cloak? There's very little room for it to be anyone but Dumbledore himself, and it -would- benefit him to seek to garner Harry's trust by first placing himself into doubt in Harry's eyes. Still, a little odd.

And what is it with that choppy apology? (Is there even a reason? From what I've seen of your writing... there is one. But right now I'm tired and suffering from a major headache, so I won't tackle that puzzle just yet.)

It seems I have yet another 'thank you' to give out. This one is for Quirrell. I adore the zombie-proactive-zombie behaviour. It's like the REM sleep flip-flop! *Ridiculous giggle* (... Too much neuroscience cramming for my exam last week temporary stupidity. Please forgive.) I'm guessing good old Tom is taking advantage of the fact that he -finally- has his dream job, instead of doing the stupid thing and not doing what he wanted to have the job for in the first place. Seriously. He's possessing the guy! Book-Voldemort doesn't live up to the expectations of his intelligence. Unless you altered Quirrell's character... but that would be unfair to the reader, so I will blissfully be human and ignore that possibility (confirmation bias makes life happier, really... until reality comes crashing down on you, and even then, we hardly ever blame confirmation bias for our misfortunes).

Hmm... one last thing. I do realize you might give no straight answer, but I have to ask just in case. Is there a particular reason for Harry's hypernychthemeral syndrome? (One that is relevant to the plot in a way other than giving him a time turner?)

Now I really must go to sleep, so good night! And thanks again for devoting your time to the story.
Ilovepi chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Hahahahahahahahah! this is utterly brilliant. my brother sent me the link...he said a friend of his wrote it. i love it. so perfect. more soon!
La Feu Eterne chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
*Gasps for breath, holding ribs after much laughter*

Thank you so much for writing this! It is an absolute breath of fresh air - imbued with the requisite microbial and inorganic entities so often found in reputedly virgin air - in this morass of unoriginality and abysmal language skills that some people call fanfiction.

All the best,

D chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Great chapter! Hooch's class, meeting with McG, and Dumbledore ("Is it a magical rock?") had mme roaring with laughter *and* nodding at some of the points Harry made. I can't wait for the next installment.
Inuyoshie chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I think this is the most I've laughed since I've discovered the multiple decently done Abridged Series on You Tube.

Mind you, as a rule, I do not read Harry Potter fanfiction. But this one is done superbly well and I do sincerely hope that you continue on in your writing of it. I have been known to in the past insert threats about rabid ferrets and world domination but I'm sure it's nothing you have not heard before.

Anyways, as I said earlier I hope that you continue and update soon. I look foreword to your upcoming chapters.
Looking Forward to the Day chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Well, this story certainly is different. LOL! I'm afraid I am far too amused by it for my own good, I blame TOK for that... and IB in general. Haha, anyways, I am thoroughly enjoying this totally epic story which is unlike anything I have every read! I hope you continue writing and good luck!

Gabo 1602 chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
ennui deMorte chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
So hilarious!

The setting the chicken on fire was brilliant!
LoireLoa chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
That was disturbing.
The French Dark Lord chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
LoL this fic should be given the All time award the the best humor/serious fanfiction!
Arriana Alice-rose Cullen chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
um... what?

i think you have finally lost me. I was doing well too!

dumbledore is crazy
SilverLullabies93 chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Lol. He did indeed set fire to a chicken. 3
The Author is Dead chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
While i may prefer the arguments of those labeled as post-structuralists than those of Kant and the enlightenment, i absolutely adore your fic. It is a great blend of humor and critical thinking. thank you for writing this.
Enelen chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
This story is the most original that I've ever read, and I love how you made everything perfectly logical, even though they seem insane at first. Voldemort is made of win, I want to take that Defense (sorry, Battle Magic) class :) And I'd like to see a *verbal* showdown with those two :D

It seems like I'm the only one who didn't like Dumbledore, he seemed a little over the top, or maybe you will just explain it away in the next chapter like all the other crazy things before? Now I should get on with my life, it somehow stopped for the time to read this...
phoebe turner chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
i loved it!
Luiz4200 chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
"Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

Who said that? Harry or the gargoyle?

Why did Dumbledore believe Harry's foster parents mistreat him and why did Harry lie about it?

Please update.
bluemoon328 chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
As much as I love your story, I'm pretty sure its going to kill me eventually, as I seem to be having a hard time stopping my laughter long enough to take a breath. But don't worry, if I die, at least I'll die happy!

Can't wait for the next chapter! Love the insanity!
wolf550e chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Your Dumbledore is way too weird.
Anon chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
This story is easily one of the best I've ever read. One of the things that impresses me the most is how you've handled putting your own spin on characters; you can redesign them without letting bias turn one character or another into irredeemable forces of idiocy or cruelty. I especially like your portrayal of Dumbledore, he's more insane than in canon but recognizable all the same.

How Voldemort is handling his much-desired DADA job is fascinating, and I like the hints that he's trying to mold Harry into a potential Dark wizard. I'm looking forward to seeing where this goes.
Lerris chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I'm adding this to favorites on originality alone, yet there are a lot of unanswered questions and it seems it is going to be harder to keep things going with the setup you have. Still, this is quite good in many ways..
Play4ever chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
... this story pushes the bounds of insanity. And coming from me that really means something! :D
Memories-of-the-Shadows chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Well, it's obviously clear that Dumbledore-at least to Harry-is completely round the bend. Interesting.
Guest chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I just wanted to say that your story has made me burst into hysterical laughter at least 15 times, and also to re-read a chapter very carefully while attempting to rearrange my own internal awareness of identity and the way the universe works. I've had other stories do each of those, but never both. I adore this and hope you right many more things in many more genres. :)
Allen Pitt chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
"It's a big rock. I can't wait to tell all my friends. None of them has a rock this big!" -Spike, on "Buffy".

It's probably the Philosopher's Stone. But then everybody is thinking that, so it's probably not. Or... oh, nuts. Could be the Deathly Hallows rock of course. I suppose the significance of the book is that it hints about Lily/Severus?

This was a very funny chapter, thanks. Big chicken.
sesshoumaru4me chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
jdboss1 chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I know the headmaster is a supreme magical user compared to the beginner Harry Potter

but I would of conceived the possibility that Harry Potter would have somehow wrapped his cloak

with another item meaning that he had to have summoned something incredibly random that was somehow connected

to his cloak to retrieve it like a password or just written a note and attached it to the cloak calling it

a random name for the bad to recognise it with its new title or even booby-trapped more valuable items meaning

he had to have done something to the item when what out of the bag without it reacted negatively but then

Harry Potter isn't at war yet so super paranoia isn't practical

Like before summoning his invisibility cloak he summoned some form of spray and then when he summoned his cloak

he sprays it to counter poison gas or something now he knows his bag security can easily be compromised even

purchasing several bags and filling all but one with deadly traps meaning that if he didn't mix or add certain

I'm sure he would no of some clever I presume chemicals to his booby-trapped bags regularly they would explode

to prevent theft

Have you read the series Artemis Fowl it contains a child criminal super genius who in one instance was Robin

a high security safety security box and even once open in the middle of opening hours the box contained hidden

traps the owners independently added and even then once he had taken the oil painting to a safer house he didn't

their opening without testing the air quality inside to prevent some hidden trap gases react in nationally with

the air meaning even once you have the painting there is still lethal traps on every part of it

the concept of good and evil light and dark and mere abstracts in society labels certain actions and act today

that is considered to be acceptable couple hundred years ago would have been considered to be in evil I would have

expected your Harry Potter to of been having some side not suddenly presume a political ideology of "LIGHT" without

at least considering politics behind it even if the dark Lord Riddle was using terrorist acts would have expected

this Harry Potter to of considered or at least looked into the motives

I know you haven't yet mentioned this but I support stories where there is no dark/evil magic but intent same with

politics and would expect a modern 21st century thinker as Harry Potter would be disgusted at dozens of practices

The self proclaimed light side considers to be fully acceptable

Please excuse my little rant

I am still an blind and mindless fan of this brilliant piece of writing even if I cannot follow some of the

obvious mathematical time travel experiments carried out at the beginning of the chapter like Doctor Who

if it sounds semi-believable I smile and carry on and not try think too hard into it

I would like to see Harry have some interaction between his mum/father he has not yet written to them yet even with

the next day's lottery results show he could take a few minutes out of his busy schedule to get hold of the results

pop back in time and send a letter to family asking them to buy a ticket

(Personally I think a time Turner is the most valuable item in the Harry Potter universe and that if I got hold of one

you'll never see me again how would not be too concerned about hiding my presence as I could run from any situation by

popping back in time whenever trapped only someone as with a time Turner would even have the slightest chance of following

I hope you don't have Harry take a flying I would expect him to have too much common sense and see too many probabilities

from killing yourself on a broomstick

Ps you need more Harry and Hermione interaction

HE SET FIRE TO A CHICKEN! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I presume it's not really a magical chicken but a normal chicken pretending to be a mythical and superpowerful

magical creature

This Dumbledore is delightfully insane
Yukilumi chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I thought that the beginning of this chapter was going to be yet another questionable and slightly boring way to make magic bend to your way, and it kinda missed, but...

XD The part after that was glorious, right to the end of the chapter. 5/5 For humour for the rest of the chapter. A refreshingly insane potrayal of Dumbledore!
quickshot0 chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Hm, considering the remembrall and all the other previous events. My current leading theory for why Harry is as he is now, is that a portion of Tom Riddles soul merged with his. It would explain his dark tendencies as well as why he seems more intellectually interested and capable now then as seen in the original work. Of course, it could be utterly wrong as well, I'll just keeping track of events and see if they continue to match, while trying to figure out alternate possible explanations.
dontcallmemadeline chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
This... is such an odd little story that i can't help but want to read what happens next. It's definitely NOT what i was expecting, and i mean that in the nicest possible way. Also, Harry's logic is confusing, rivalled only by Dumbledore... How did the idea of a rational!Harry turn into this? Anyways, great job great story please update soon :)
Raven3182 chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Your Dumbledore certainly is crazier than normal. I like it. The story is going well. I would like to see more Harry and Hermione interaction though. I think you have it set up for them to have a great rivalry/friendship and they really seem to complement each other well. Anyways, I eagerly await the next update. Thanks for writing!
jm chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I..don't even know where to start. At the end of the story are we going to find out Harry was sent back in time proceeding to make Petunia make better choices & Dumbledore to loose his mind? Does the rock end up being the last hallow? OR he has a long sleep cycle because he's living two lives, in two seperate dimensions at the same time? It's magic...
PeanutTree chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Oh man, I am laughing so hard and waking my roommate up. It's moments like these that remind me that Harry is just an eleven year-old after all.
Guest chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
LOL at his father's rock. Is he going to give that rock to Voldemort when he asks for the Philosopher's Stone? XD
uo-chou chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Batshit-loco Dumbledore is my new hero. Thank you.
ColinLow chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
Dumbledore hid the Philosopher's Stone in that rock, didn't he? That's the main direction I see this going, considering that there's no way you wouldn't think that Dumbledore's original plan of hiding the Stone in the Mirror of Erised where Harry could get it made any lick of sense. Can't wait to see where this goes.
blue-critic chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
I love you. Seriously.

You have broken the long-held cliché that Dumbledore is actually insane/evil/manipulative. While you may choose to portray him as such later, I find that your current portrayal of the headmaster matches canon, should canon be as realistic as you have written it.

Keep up the great work. I look forward to reading more.

Nargus chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
*laughing giggling like crazy* O...the scariest experiment in the history of science! And the Headmaster! Harry finally meet with the 'king' of the first castle and has been given two quest items! *giggling hard*
yoyoente chapter 17 . 4/25/2010
*clears throat* It took me about five minutes in order to calm down enough to type.

*snorts* I don't even really know what to say...the chapter's left me speechless...
deletingaccounttt chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
*laughs* -oh god - *laughs*
Alo Amicus chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Now THAT was the best last lines I've ever read. You've got to stop being so amazing, because it's terribly difficult revising the list of bests in my head so many times to account for new categories and successions of first-places and runner-ups and whatnot. This was a delighful chapter. I wish I could write like this. How can you write like this? Are you an author? A philosopher? Please provide some hint of the pathway one is required to walk to become so brilliant.
Jaxtopher chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
That. Was. AWESOME.

The last line had me laughing aloud. You've really managed to make the story interesting and the protagonists intelligent while still making them see like kids. The last line had me laughing out loud and the story held my interest throughout. It was great!
specter626 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
That was the perfect way to end the chapter. I just couldn't stop laughing
Kathleen chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Omg that was hilarious! Your chapters make me laugh so hard. Watching Harry this shaken again and again was really amusing. And the chicken! omg.
Lord Patience chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
The headmaster set the chicken on fire...

Holy crap.
Nongarak chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Oh lordy! This is probably the funniest chapter yet. I can't tell you how many times I busted out laughing. Probably the longest, too. Great stuff. I like your Dumbledore, most people don't write him so whacked. Good job on doing it properly! The bit with the rock had me rolling. (Geddit? Geddit?) I don't know what epsilon whatever is, though. I've got a sort of math joke, for you.

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. He orders a drink and hangs out for a while. Then he leaves. The bartender runs outside and sees him leaving. He says "Wait! Get back here and pay your bill!" Descartes looks at him, and pauses a second, looking thoughtful. He says, "I think not." and vanishes in a puff of logic.
DaveInACave chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Umm... in keeping with the First Law of Fanfiction did you just make Dumbledore as batshit crazy as Harry is smart? Because I can only imagine what your going to do to Voldemort to keep Harry from utterly demolishing him considering Harry is both creative and thorough at imagining ways of killing people. Given utter free reign to turn an enemy into a human flavored mass the consistency of spaghetti sauce I can only being to wonder what he would eventually settle on.

And your experiment in fucking with time was awesome. Inspired by reviewers or not the image of Harry's experiment returning basically "Don't Fuck With Me (Time)" left me wide eyed and laughing. The fact that his response to this was to wait a few years before experimenting further leads me to believe that Harry is likely to succeed at the prophecy's predicted fight on the virtue of erasing/destroying not only Voldemort but a rather large chuck of Existence along with him. Time itself just told him to fuck off and his first thought is I'll wait a few years? O.O I pity that entire universe.
istari chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
It seems Dumbledor is well versed in Muggle lore. He was quoting lines from Star Wars as well as Lord of the Rings.

Dumbledor: Your father's rock.

Harry: This is a joke, right?

Dumbledor: This is the weapon of a true magus. Not as clumsy or random as a wand; an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.

Harry: How.. Wait, what? How?

Dumbledor: You drop it on your enemy. Then you levitate it and drop it again.


Dumbledor: Do you understand the implications of what I have just told you, Harry?

Harry: *Gibberish*

Dumbledor: Harry, I. am. your. father.

Harry: NO!
whimsy007 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
"If you ran twenty detectors over all the boxes, you'd have, on average, one false candidate and one true candidate left. And then it would just take one or two more detectors before you were left with the one true candidate."

Wrong. Assuming two boxes and presuming each trial is independent then you are running a test on two boxes where a detector still has a 50 % chance of a false positive. So with one detector, there is an a-priori probability of 50 % that you will still have two candidate boxes, and with two detectors an a-priori probability of 25% that you still will have two candidate boxes.

Dumbledore really is nuts. Maybe he tested too many of the uses of dragon blood on himself.
cseeker chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
You know why I like and hate this story? Because you gave a child a gun along with both the knowledge of it "as" a gun and the ability to control it, but without the experience that he would have normally gained in the process. I have no clue what teenagers do with your story.
Eragonsarmy chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
OMG you are a fucking genius. a evil genius but still a genius i love your story. it is a true work of art cant wait for my chapters. lol i had to look up so much stuff for references to understand a lot of what you where talking about. i love this type of harry and you made it believe so believe its amazing once again you are a genius.
Chances are chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
This is the funniest thing I've read since, uh, a while.(Sorry if that wasn't as dramatic as it should have been). Love the rational thinking behind it all, and love, love, *adore* the humor!
Peanuckle chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Sheer brilliance. I love your characterization of Dumbledore as the all-knowing fool. Of course the madness is most likely just a cover for the wisdom. And you handle the time-turners extremely well, never getting caught up in your own traps. Your writing is top quality.
Black King 201 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Oh, god, that's hilarious.
SomeGuyFawkes chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Good chapter, and entertaining.


There is at least one error with that recursive time loop, you used GTE 997 improperly so the paper will never say 997 twice.

Also, Harry is an idiot to start with three digit primes and to not build in a failsafe.

But I guess the gods let him off with a stern warning. ;-)


}} "Stick out your right hand over the broom, or left hand if you're left-

}} handed,"

This is OOC for Hooch and not canon either (her exact words were provided). Almost no teachers, at that time, were as anally PC as that. Hooch was not, and she had no eye for detail - witness her rather un-meticulous refereeing of the games.

One of the good things about the Harry Potter 'verse, is it has much less of the "sensitive new age" rot that has corrupted modern culture.


How did McGonagall even know that Harry used his time turner for the remembrall mess?


Dumbledore has a/the Maltese Falcon?
LadyBluePhoenix chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
That was completley insane and hilarious, though your plot line has indeed gotten crazier from the first couple of chapters.
TenshiReike chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Your story is very interesting and very strange It's no surprise it's a big hit. I do wonder what will happen next
malcolm75k chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Well, this chapter was certainly a little strange.

OK, Dumbledore:

Dumbledore is gathering intelligence on Harry - he has access to the diagon alley trip through legilimancy and he pretty much gave away that he spies on people while invisible.

That explains his reference in the sorting feast to Harry. It also feeds my perception of the office interaction.

My take on him (at first read) is that he's being crafty on purpose to the point of being inscrutable. My take on the rock is that it is a concealed reference to Harry's insistence on being prepared - get a healer's kit just in case, gillyweed, food and water pills...How about this rock? You never know...

It could also be a reference to Harry's almost simplistic way of thinking - Turn Draco to the light, the reference to "quest items" that Dumbles didn't blink at - one common stupid quest item is a rock. You pick them up and they just sit in inventory. Could be a snide little hint...

The apologizing seemed like a mockery of the cannon, though it could have been used to probe for true abuse once Harry was well and truly off kilter.

The writing in the potions book, and D's confession - The simplest lesson is that he is sharing knowledge for trust. The most advanced lesson that can be divined (without more knowledge) is that Dumbles was manipulating Lilly and James relationship, perhaps getting them closer by fighting, or keeping them apart until their later years. How this factors in with Snape and his relationship w/ Lilly, I'm not sure, but its a potion's text, mind. It could also be a reference to early research Lilly did for Petunia's potion...

Unless Dumbledore is truly insane, or under the influence of a spell, the overall taste of the encounter is that Dumbledore met with Harry to take his measure, and did so by talking in riddles and working to appear as insane as possible. He was interested in finding out how Harry thought, if he believed everything he read (note on present could have been written by Dumbledore just for this purpose), how gullible he was, did he see himself as a game hero or a storybook character, etc.

I think explaining Dumbledore as simply insane is cheap. He has shown himself to be very sharp about some things, and very much aware of what Harry is doing. He's not to be underestimated.

Writing pacing/story critique:

I also think you've established at least one of Harry's critical flaws sufficiently as well. He has a desire to win that interferes with his own stated goals. You have firmly established this. You can move on beyond this. You have also established his be prepared attitude and his RPG game mentality. These seem to be an impediment he has to work with in his character, though the "be prepared" could help later.

I recommend that you move off of some of the more trivial encounters and cut back on the amount of personality-revealing scenes. Its a bit heavy handed at this point. The story pacing is also off a bit, moving too slowly. The latest chapter reads with the same taste as, I think it was 13, where Harry was being pranked by himself. Unless the next chapter, or perhaps a little later, sheds more light on the true nature of Dumbledore, this chapter will go down as just a little too silly.

You have some good, strong plot elements embedded in this story. Use them. Get those bits of it rolling. Harry has talked about his goals to Hermione in "positive bias". He has had a rude awakening in his initial conversations w/ Draco, and he has protected Luna but also understands the plight of the girls who are vulnerable to Draco's described tactics. He mentioned DNA testing. Wouldn't it be interesting if he added a arrow to the quiver of law enforcement? If he worked to shut down that avenue of terror? And he is reading textbooks - Is he absorbing anything? Is the theory in the wizarding text logical, or is it scattered, hare-brained assumptions? Or simply incomplete in the sense of being a subset of reality, like Newtonian theory is to Relativity? I suspect his revelations into the nature of time, coupled with Muggle understandings of things, would offer him insight not available to the other students - something which Hermione's memorize and regurgitate methods would fail to produce. Given enough insight, he could do things the other's couldn't. Something like seeing underlying patterns in the spells and what they are really doing.

In a culture where you wave a wand and things happen, there is no need to understand what exactly is going on beyond magic. Transfiguration class seems to contradict this slightly, with some awareness of how bodies process gasses and liquids... This is something else he could work on and research - perhaps transfigured molecules/atoms/whatever can be "tagged" for extraction in some way...some property not found because there wasn't enough known to enable wizards to look, like % of isotopes, lack of isotope decay, strange chemical bonding behavior, or, say, some distortion in the nth dimension holding energy/information/matter associated with their true form.

Also, enough already with the time turner. Its interesting for a while, but it doesn't move the plot along. Move the plot along now, and if it calls for use of the time turner, you can be creative, but Minerva was right to yell at Harry for how he used it - its not just obvious, tedious to read about.
Mirror Behind the Wall chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Brilliant, absolutely brilliant! I loved this chapter. Dumbledore's insanity was a lot of fun and I couldn't stop smiling. Looking forward to more!
Another Reviewer chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Chapters 1-16: Very very well-written, funny and interesting.

Chapter 17: Very very frightening. For the first time I'm frightened of a fictional character. If that was your intent? Well done. If not? You're scaring off readers. 0.0
Daybreaq chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I'm really surprised none of your reviewers haven't mentioned this yet but ... WHO was Lily's boyfriend if she thought HE was the one sneaking in snarky responses about her pondering about POTIONS? It's not as if there's anything about someone writing notes in the margins of a potions textbook in canon or anything, I guess. It seemed to me what Dumbledore was confessing was Lily was dating Snape and he conspired to break them up ... so she'd end up with James? 'Cause he really did manipulate everything about Harry's life especially his conception. Is the rock a Macguffin? I'll just have to wait and see!
Adelaide 'Adell' Peirce chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Poor, poor chicken... Er... Fawkes...

Dumbledore had a crush on Lily? O_o
G chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Feel like this whole chapter and the last 2-3 points to Harry arguing against McGonagall. For some reason, I lost interest in this story...Kinda more drama than humor, since the humor die out a few chapters back.
nxkris chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
great chapter. i love the insanity of harry and dumbledore (aka heh- harry should come up to the table during dinner one day and just ask what's up heh for the amusement of it). update soon.
He Who Comes With the Dusk chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
That chapter was, personally, my favorite so far. That attempt at a PNP solution was brilliant, and I guess it's your way of saying that it's impossible?

Dumbledore is, for me at the least, an extremely enjoyable character to read. He's much like Harry, I think, but far, far more insane.

And I'm sorry about the divide by zero thing. It was stupid of me to push it, as it really does have no effect on the story.
DarkHeart81 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
LMAO! Great chapter! In this Dumbledore's complete irrationality helps to balance Harry's overabundance of rationality. Carrying around his father's rock... lol
NamuNamu chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
What a wonderful chapter! It's nice to see someone keeping the Headmaster crazy- in canon and in most fics he morphs into "crazy like a fox," which isn't nearly as interesting. I also love the relationship between Harry and Professor McGonagall- it's one of my favorite parts of this fic. I can't really follow the math and probability bits, though.
sanxiyn chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Solving PNP with time turner is actually not a new idea.

Take a look at this lecture note(!) with a proof outline for NP P_CTC:

Of course, I am sure the author knows this.
burtikus chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Loved it! Was starting to wonder whether anything would actually happen, ever. But last chapter was good , and this one was brilliant. Again. Keep up the great work and thanks.
OctoberThirtyFirst chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Hilarious. I LOVE this Dumbledore. And Harry. 3 I know I would really enjoy your next chapter!
deitarionSSokolow chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
While your Dumbledore-Harry scene was very funny, I do start to worry about whether you grasp the importance of ensuring that all divergences from canon can be causally traced back to a single initial divergence. Or, more specifically, that said connection is revealed promptly enough that the reader doesn't lose patience and assume the story is simply broken.

To me, it looks more like you're trying to mash an unrelated mockery of Dumbledore's mysterious nature (eg. stage magic trick to pull an egg out of Fawkes' ashes) into a story about how a different Harry would interact with Hogwarts and co.

Theoretically, it's possible that Riddle is confounding Dumbledore and McGonagall will discover that in the next chapter, but I still think you're just going too far in the writing. There's a reason the saying "truth is stranger than fiction" exists, after all... and it has its roots in the limits of what people will believe and/or like in a story.
Dormant Account 24 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
That has to be the most brilliant presentation of Dumbledore I have ever read!
Sable Rose chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Definitely the most unique characterisation of Dumbledore I've ever read...poor Fawkes, and I wonder if Harry will actually carry that rock around everywhere?

Look forward to the next chapter!
j hellfire chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
So if I understand you Fawkes isnt in fact a phoenix but a chicken that Dubbles burns up from time to time and then puts an egg or chick into the ashes there by keeping the illusion of immortality...BRILLIANT CHAPTER!
firedraygon chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Hahaha, oh gosh, the meeting with Dumbledore is hilarious. Just too awesome.

The first bit confused me with the PNP thing. _ But not to worry, the main message came through. Don't mess with time!

Fantastic work. The Remembrall thing is pretty ominous. Hopefully things work out. Please write more soon!

DaveTV chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
WTF! Originality is one thing, but Dumbledore's part just seemed silly. It's like you tried your best to make him be the weirdest possible person in existence. And sneaking into the girl's dorm to write in Lily's book, well, pervert, obsession, or both? And the line about people running away when you try something new, a not-so-subtle jab at some of your reviewers.

It feels like less of the HP world, and more like Alice in Wonderland, where nothing makes sense.
hjcallipygian chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Wow, the experiment at the beginning of the chapter was hilarious. I literally laughed out loud at it. (Side note: I don't know your name, but you took the blame for my strange behavior with my wife. I get the impression you don't mind being the catalyst for strangeness, though.)

I'm a bit confused about where you're taking the Dumbledore thing, but I do have faith in you. This story is quite good so far.
CrystalC chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I am not allowed to read this fanfiction at work anymore. It freaks out the customers when I start laughing hysterically.

""Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!"

"He wha-""

The most perfect ending to a chapter that I can ever remember seeing.
Miranda Tam chapter 17 . 4/24/2010

Just kidding! RAVENCLAW!

this was literally making my eyes tear up, I was laughing so hard. this was EPIC!
MisterTabi chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
How Spit Takes? HOWW MANY?

Too many. Impressive, very impressively so.
Enlightener chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
A long and excelent chapter.
Linnorria chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I wonder what it is that Harry has forgotten... and thursdays do tend to be rather hard days, don't they. :D
Anon chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Amusing as always. I'm a little worried that your story will end up crossing the humor/interest event horizon. It's great so far, but things arent showing any signs of slowing down, and there's only so much rampant insanity a reader can take before they lose interest. Still, I avidly await the next portion.
Thenchick chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
ROFL dumbledore set fir to a chicken!


and the rock...wth is the rock for?

and the potions book?
ChocolateMilk2 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
That ending was friggin' /hilarious/.
nth-x chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
You know, the last time that I said I was completely confused after reading a chapter you immediately explained it in the next chapter, making the whole situation seem rather obvious. Hence I am hesitant to proclaim my complete confusion yet again at the end of this chapter, but I think I shall do so. I do this chiefly because I suspect that the confusion at this chapter will not be cleared up until the end of the year/arc, and so I shall not feel like quite the simpleton I did last time.

Confused yet intrigued, I await more. Thanks for writing!
everetza chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Amazing, brilliant and all the other good little descriptive words I won't bore you with by listing!

I loved the conversation between Dumbledore and Harry, and the bit with McGonagall at the end was great. You seem to have unfailingly intresting and entertaining characterization. I think I may have to memorize some of these lines for when I need a laugh, too, as you have some hilarious ones.

Can't wait for the next update, this is the probably the most entertaining fic that I've read- now the rhythm has evened out you strike a great balance between all the elements of fanfic.
StoryTagger chapter 17 . 4/24/2010 know a large stone is the perfect defense against many spells...
ejhawman chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Brilliant chapter again.

Starting to see a theme: Harry has his limits, based in his habits. He tries to think his way out of problems, but hasn't yet adjusted to the rules the school sets out.

The stuff in Dumbledore's office: I think I spot an Arisian Lens, and the Maltese Falcon. The cup of blood is probably from something I haven't read...

The bit with Harry's father's rock looks like a nice way of poking fun at the series, and the habit of some fantasy writers to add plot-driving elements inelegantly.

Also, starting to look like a good old-fashioned self-referential satire. Note most of the items in Dumbledore's office don't actually do anything or aren't invented by him, when Rowling so clearly wants to give the impression that they are.

Keep it up.
hhrforeverhhr chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
umm.. i don't know what to say..
Furcas chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
What the fuck was that?
Majin Hentai X chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Interesting addressing the chess mastering Dumbledore concepty are we.
me chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I'd love to try and figure out what the hell is going on, but I don't think I even know the question. Update soon!
MrRobertsIII chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
That had me laughing. Loved Crazy!Dumbles!
PiecesOfSerendipity chapter 17 . 4/24/2010

I'm not sure whether I'm crying tears of frustation, confusion or laughter at this chapter. I know my laughter is at least a little bit hysterical.
FredWeasleysFutureWife chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
You have no idea how much I have fallen in love with this story. Keep writing, because it's amazing!
Puidwen chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
good fic. you are overdoing it on the fallacy lectures, enjoying seeing harry's mind messed with.
frankiejoseph chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
This Dumbledore is delightfully insane, isn't he? I bet he's still just as manipulative as ever though.

Harry explaining what he was doing with Malfoy was amazing!
faithaholic chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
thank you. this chapter made my day.
Katamabob chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
O.o Dumbledore was hilarious in this, but more than a little terrifying... HE SET FIRE TO A CHICKEN!
Starlight Chibi-chan chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
hm, this chapter was a bit odder than usual...
Shodatl chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I must say, that no... you have no respect as an author.

From me at least.

You see, i respect you for your insane rambelings of what is a plot and yet isnt... but i dont believe i could respect you for the lack of... well... fanfiction.

This story has nothing to do with Harry Potter really... its a very rational/insane take on the wizarding world... but its not exactly fiction in any since of the word.

In fact, by definition... 'Nonfiction' would be a story that represents fact.

You have worked within all of the "Factual" Points in reality, and used a pre-made source of more "Facts" that make up the Harry Potter Universe.

There arent many Authors that have the same feel as you, and to put it simply... i'm glad.

Humor, Drama, Adventure, Romance.

Your story fails in everything that would make up a compelling work of fiction.

Yet, all of us Readers, subscribers, and "Fans" keep coming back.

Strange... Fanfiction is.

Please continue the... Well... Neutral Work.

Also, Lay off some insanity once in a while... you've pulled us into harry's frame of mind, but there are many other people who arent working like they normally would in the background.

Nothing truely school related has been discussed, its only been theory, and testing.


novalis chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I think you might mention (or perhaps you later plan to mention?) that not carrying the rock is just as likely to be wiser than doing so - or perhaps more so, because it gives more space in the bag of holding. The problem is not, in this case, privileging the hypothesis, but rather holding to a hypothesis on the basis of no evidence at all. If Dumbledore argued that perhaps the rock was the thing that saved baby Harry, then he would be privileging a hypothesis.
Nosferatum chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
It seems Dumbledore have found the correct way to deal with Harry...
TombCrank the Crafty chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
So, first off, I love you. Truly, I do. Secondly, were Professors Summers and Blake a reference to Buffy Summers and Anita Blake? Because then I would love you even more. (Especially since Anita was found canoodling with several Slytherins.) Frankly, I adore Harry, even if I need to reread his explanations a few times. The fact that he's *still* not as good as Hermione is amusing. I expect he'll be a good minion for her. Frankly, this is amazingly cracktastically delicious writing and I cannot wait to see more of it.
Yo chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I think you are absolutely mad. Meant in the best possible way of course.
jojobevco chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Good Chapter, and featuring the most pathetic case of Dumbledore manipulation ever (that was funny!)

Oh and it made my head spin.
Thekilleregglord chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
This is too funny, especially the experiment, the continued path of Dark Harry, and Dumbledore.

I'm not even mad at the extreme OCness of Dumbledore. Who is a completely different person then Cannon Dumbledore.
badkidoh chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Yet another great chapter.

so the Headmaster crazy?
Arkeus chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
awesom chapter. Really, really awesome.

Heh, still wondering if there isn't some kind of time travel going on (remembrall and all that).
AngelForm chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Don’t think I have ever seen a Wrong Genre Savvy Dumbledore.

Jury is still out on both evil/extremist and insane/mysterious.

Do not mess with time!

Very good advice.
Violet Shadows chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Nice, best closing line I've heard in a damn long time.
RamenKnight chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
NEED TO BREATH. crazy dumbledore is hilarious. hope to see more of him
Skeletaure chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I'd like to come back to this point, which I considered today:

"Harry found himself considering, for the first time in his life, that the answer to his question might be literally inconceivable. That since his own brain contained neurons that only ran forward in time, there was nothing his brain could do, no operation it could perform, which was conjugate to the operation of a Time Turner."

This seems to be false to me, given the nature of the time turner.


Any apparent instance of an effect preceding its cause can in fact be seen from a 1st person point of view (the point of view of the time traveller) as the effect following cause in the same direction as normal, only in a contained area of time which will look like it's going backwards from an external viewpoint.
pazed chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Your sheer number of reviews says you've caught a lot of attention, and well-deserved in fact.

I was truly laughing out loud (had to smother the noise in a pillow as it's 6.30 am here and my daughter gets rather unpleasant if I wake her up) through the headmaster scene, it is AWESOME. Though I'm baffled by the last bit, I'm sure it's important to your plot - he couldn't possibly be that inept in a manipulation attempt after the previous display, so I'll wait and see.

If you care I was also left behind by the stable time line test, I really couldn't be bothered to try to nut it out though I guess the logic is some quite well-known piece in esoteric math-geek circles. So I just take your word for it, not a problem.

The remembrall/McGonagall event was excellent.

Thanks again for writing this original and entertaining fic. Cheers ...p
Entropic Specter chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Thanks for another fine read. Nice going with the Eagle's Splendor.

Now, there were some interesting points. First, the note attached to the cloak first led Harry to mistrust Dumbledore. Second, Dumbledore snuck Lily's dorm room. While he is a powerful Wizard, that would've been easier with a Cloak of Invisibility. Now this opens up the possibility that Dumbledore had the cloak even back then and gave it to Harry with the note attached, to gain Harry's trust more easily, by proving his suspicions false. Of course, that's a pretty roundabout way of doing things, but it would fit canon, where he was the one to give Harry the cloak. It also explains the mystery of the note. But why would he show Harry the Potions textbook then? To gain his trust even more, by showing him that he is willing to show him, how he tricked him into trusting him? Uh. Maybe I should lay this theory to rest, until more details surface.
So chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
James had the Stone of Ressurection?
Celestial Moonwalker chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I cannot adequately describe how much amusement I derived from this chapter.

I totally understand the Hat. Poor thing.

Dumbledore is... *a LONG pause* I'm not sure I can't put it into words. And I'm certainly glad Harry's Slytherin is on the look out. Merlin knows what would happen if he wasn't.

At this rate Harry might find a way to communicate with Time. And wouldn't that be terrifying? If he DOES manage THAT, well, there is but a couple of steps to opening communication channels with Death. *shivers*

Oh, and I do wonder who gave the cloak.
tatewaki2000 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010

Uh. Huh?

I'm completely confused.
Ratus chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I KNEW IT! He is in league with Colonel Sanders! But just like Sigmund said, sometimes a rock is just a rock. I still think this is one of the funniest thing I have read in awhile, as for the divide by 0 crowd, well next they will not allow the square of negative numbers!

Looking forward to the next chapter, and many thanks for the good laughs and thoughts from this chapter.
The Fanfic Stealer chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
...Did you just imply that Dumbledore could be Harry's father? Ew...

And I think I saw the Maltese Falcon and the Holy Grail on his shelf...

This is, by far, one of the funniest fics I have read in a while, even if it does get a tad bit confusing. Keep it up!
Baughn chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
If you /did/ want to write a crackfic, I'm starting to suspect you'd be good at it.


Are you *quite* sure the comed-tea isn't capable of causing insanity? Really? Because *something* is certainly doing so. *shudder*
gwern chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Dumbledore was looking at him with a serious expression. "Do you understand the implications of what I have just told you, Harry?"

I understand it:

'I [Dumbledore] am your father!'

'No! That's not possible! I was conceived years later, after all.'

'Wizard bone isn't the *only* thing more resilient than Muggle equivalents...'
Heidinanookie chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Your timing is absolutely perfect! I was just getting fed up with piecing together my graduation paper and thought I'd go check if there were any mails and maybe start reading a nice fanfic afterwards - and there'S your notification mail! So I got a nice mail AND a nice story all in one go!

uhm, I guess I'm not supposed to get what Harry's on about when he thinks about time loops and papers one and two because I really tried but I couldn't follow him at all... How is that paper trick going to help him to determine ANYTHING? Could you please explain that to me? I mean, okay, if the answer on paper 2 is not right, he'll obviously write down something else that's not on paper two in order to negate that reality so only the right answer can prevail in the end... right? Or not?

Well, anyway, how is that going to help him? He'd have to use the time turner a thousand times until he's guessed the right number combination - and that's just because he knows the limits of the question. If he'd try to find out a password he can't possibly know, how is he doing to generate that information from NOTHING in the next 3 hours?

And how did that scary message end up on that paper, anyway?

And what exactly does Harry mean by a "stable time loop"? He could just as easily generate one of that sort by having his future self hide an Easter egg for him, which he collects in order to drop it off for himself later.

Oh, and one last question: How did Harry and the Futur-Harry exchange places in the dormitory without anyone noticing?

Does slipping a student LSD count as hurting them, or does that fall into the category of harmless fun? - Well, that actually IS a pretty good question! rofl, great! Thanx for the laugh! :D

"Oft evil will shall evil mar indeed, in very deed."

Harry's brain took a moment to place the familiar words... "Hey, that's a Tolkien quote! Gandalf says that!"

"Theoden, actually," said Dumbledore." - OMG, priceless! But I have to say I don't remember that line at all. When does it occur?

"You don't mean..." gasped Harry. "My father... owned another rock?"

"Excuse me," said Dumbledore, "I am still older and more mysterious than you and if there are any revelations to be made then I will do the revealing, thank you..."

lol... okay, you probably hate that I keep quoting stuff back at your but I can'T help myself. Sorry.

oh no! "Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!" "He wha-"

Seriously, I hope you have a plan for this story or I might die of a laughing attack sometime these days because of the overwhelming weirdness.

Great chapter, again! Can't wait for more!

Knyght chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
"were written by me. I would turn myself invisible and sneak into her dorm room while she was sleeping. Lily thought her boyfriend was the one doing it and they had the most amazing fights."

Weird no one mentioned it, I might be reading too much into it... to put it bluntly it sounds as if Dumbles pretended to be James in order to have an affair with Lily, which would make the rock Dumbledor's rock. Which would account for why Harry is smarter than in canon. Or maybe my mind is just twisted like that.
Mastigo chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I laughed more than I have in months at this chapter. I'd say I was laughing as much as Dumbledore, but I think then he'd just reveal that he was using magic to hide the greater majority of his laughter.
Jay Man1 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Okay...that was insane,, stark raving mad. I have to say this story is starting to feel like a Rubik cube, I know there is a solution but it isn't always in plain sight. Well as usual you get points for originality and you get extra points for satire and parody. Well its good to know that Harry isn't the direct cause of the DoDA teacher issues, well aside from the curse thing. My ramblings aside, this is a great chapter.
shine lots chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Your style is really cool and disticnt. I've never seen something like it before! However, I think I'm beginning to catch on.

Warning bells were going off in my head as i read that Harry would be able to obtain "passwords of every sort", and I guessed that Harry wouldn't actually be able to obtain this huge advantage(for some reason that was NOT deduced from LOGIC/COSMIC aurguments but deduced from ETHICAL/MORAL aurguments). You've knocked down Harry's plan for commed-tea induced world dominance e.t.c

It's really quite scary that Harry only measures things by power and intelligence. He dismisses Fawkes! This is so worrying.

A possible typo; you've typed "lowest common denominator" but perhaps you mean "lowest common denomination". Either way, I'm still not sure EXACTLY what Harry means by making that comment abouth the other first year boys during flying class. If you'd like to explain...

A request. Please would you ask another question like you did for "Oh, dear. This has never happened before..." and offer the story's plot line as a reward for the winner.
Jon-Berry chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I... I can't stop laughing.

Thank you!
Zicou chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
lol trying to solve PNP by using a time turner:) at least it has never been tried before..

An awesome chapter again,


what are you even saying chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I feel as if I've just been let off of one of those spinning teacup rides at theme parks. The nausea is absent, since I've been sitting in a comfortable chair and not moving the whole time, but the feeling of disorientation and confusion is all too familiar. Actually, it's kind of nice. With most of the other stories I read, I pride myself in being able to keep up with the author's train of thought, predicting many events before they happen. Some (probably more than I think) were foreshadowed, but some were not. With you, I can relax a bit more, since your mind works so much more interestingly than my own.

Looking forward to more.
Purple Artichokes from Mars chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
You are my hero. End statement.
J-Kid chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
I don't really see the point of the first part of this chapter, but I love the rest of it. Dumbledore is so outrageously kooky here it's awesome. :-) Thanks for the new chapter!
shenmi meiren chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
i love the scene with fawkes

and the part when he receives his father's... rock :D
NicNacs chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Ichihime chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
'Heh' honestly frightens me. I'm very happy he doesn't exist as I'll never have to be alone in a room with him, and if I'd read this as a child it would easily have become a childhood nightmare.

Very interesting take on him.
Carumati chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Despite how much of a bad manipulative douche Albus is in this fic, I surprisingly find myself liking him... "You can't possibly open the first door unless you know the spell Alohmora!" Oh man, that's so BAD (in a good way).
Tiky3000 chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
This was amazing! I can't remember the last time I laughed out loud this much while reading a story.
Dermonster chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Professor McGonagall the Headmaster set fire to a chicken!

I giggled for five minutes.
R. James Gauvreau chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
"Excuse me," said Dumbledore, "I am still older and more mysterious than you and if there are any revelations to be made then I will do the revealing, thank you."

I love the professors.

I love this story.

I'm so very torn. If it weren't for Prince of the Dark Kingdom, I'd be considering this to be the true canon. As it is, I'm afraid that, while this is far more hilarious that PotDK, it's still not -quite- as good. It's hilarious, and even thought-provoking, but ultimately...

/shrug. Sorries.

At any rate, I consider it more canon than JK's work.

Good job, sir. Good job.
B.B. Rain chapter 17 . 4/24/2010
Just GO before he sets you on fire! shrieked Slytherin, Hufflepuff, and Gryffindor.


I can't stop laughing, so this will be a very short review.

You may have created the single funniest First-Year AU ever that isn't an active parody.