It's a pretty fun start for a fanfiction that has almost 700,000 words available.

I like the implications that are being formed at this point. Curious to see why Harry must be afflicted by such a strange sleeping condition lol

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA ok, eso de la mordida no lo esperaba

Since probably the makority of Students at Hogwarts come from Muggle Families and would have the same Questions, wouldnt it be usefull to have a specific department of "Telling Muggle-born Wizards about Magic"? Or is there a seperat devision and Harry only accidently got the standart-Wizarding-Family-letter, like his Neighbour incinuated?

Ok, it's been a while since I laughed while reading some fiction, let alone Harry Potter fiction. I know it's silly, but I enjoyed this chapter.

I seriously can't believe I laughed reading this chapter. I blame my blues.

We have Sheldon Potter before GTA6

i don't have much to say - waiting to see what chapter 3 holds

This story is hilarious so far. Also genius!

thank you

"... and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England." XD

That, right there? Absolute brilliance.

Si es, si es

gülme krizine girdim

This chapter was just plain funny. It's nice to smile just from reading something good.

He's so Harry even when, at the same time, he's so different from the one we know, I'm enjoying this a lot

Hello, dearest author (lol)

If you are still reading a review for a fanfiction that ended almost a decade ago, I am certainly delighted. I need you to know how I discovered this fic because i think this is just fate.

So in my country, there is an ongoing variety show between genius kids called "Clash of Champions". I was obsessed and as an author myself I started to imagine what is it like to have a genius character in my work. As a non-genius, I feel the lack of originality if i didnt know the pattern of thought geniuses had. In order to observe fictional geniuses, i scrolled down the goodreads "genius boy trope" and found out this fic. I was immediately hooked. Unfortunately i did not possess the fund to buy your book. Imagine my surprise to see this fic was posted in ffn!

I like to imagine little Harry, waving a wax-stamped letter in the air, looking embarassed and hopeful lmao. That's what sold me to this fic. I hope i can enjoy this 122-chaptered journey!

And just like that, you just ruined his whole fic by adding this dumbass condition..

an absolutely deadpan hilarious au!

I really hope I haven't already written a review on this chapter but,

Then her face brightened. "No, I'm sure this won't be a problem - I'll find a solution in time"

I absolutely enjoy the thorough foreshadowing, not just here but even the first thing in the first chapter, all just so perfect

Based C joke

It might be stupid, but I imagined a flaming Blackjack - from PJO, in case you didn't know, which I don't think so - transformed into a zebra and begin flaming, saying, "Let's go, boss! We have a nation to terrorize!"

That ending was hilarious!

haha, programmer humor (nice intro to the plot)

the only problem I found in this confession is... how the HELL a 10/11 year old (specially being Harry) with no that much of science?! I mean, he is not freaking Sheldon Cooper...

Fair warning about this fanfic
it seems extremely promising with its intro and high rating
but its another pedofic some 20 chapters down the road. Another self insert trying to date and flirt with literal 11 year old girls. Is it even worth bothering saying kids their age dont act/speak like that? Never mind. Quit fantasizing about 11 year old girls as your relationship partners you satanic PoS

The problems of the magical world start with Dumbledore.

Read

FOR THE GREATER GOOD by marietsy2

For Harry to solve the problems alone is insanity.

The prophecy does not require the Potters to die.
It doesn't say Harry cannot have help.
The power he knows not is not necessarily the key to victory
While mentioned nothing else is said about it
The dark lord is not identified
I say it was Dumbledore and since Snape owed Harry a life debt he was Harry's Hand
Defied THERE times is a lower limit not a specific number.
If I disagree with you 4 times I have defied you 3 plus one times

Dumbledore should have had people hunting Horcruxes starting the summer after the second year at the very latest!

Way too much was dumped on 3 teens without Dumbledore training them!

Harry should have lost, Good did lose, way too many people died while the Malfoys escaped justice.

Can't blame Harry, HE IS A GENIUS! A PRODIGY!

I'm not familiar with reviews, so I'll try to keep it to a minimum-

I don't even need to read the suggested amount of chapters (10 to determine if I would like the fic) to know I already love and am looking forward to the rest of this fic!

Time to binge!

I think that Harry has a perfectly rational thought process. I mean, at seven, if your maths teacher doesn't know what a logarithm is, what are you to do? Biting seems perfectly reasonable. But, on behalf of all teaching staff everywhere, I'd just like to ask him to refrain because that hurts.

This is bizzare. I cannot imagine Harry being a psycho smart idiot.

Great!

Doesn't matter what universe. I. Love. Magonnigal

Well, if this 'doesn't really hit it's stride till Chapter 5' I'm going to have to take it in small bites !
Reading at work rather enforces that. Chapter 2 was an absolute hoot.
I love the redemption of Petunia, and Harry getting a much more positive upbringing.
I will be passing notice of this along to my kids and looking forward to the rest of it.

McGonagall W

I've found your story just yesterday, and it's amazing! So hilarious! I can't wait to read the rest!

really funny, ty!

that was actually surprising informative, well-paced, and funny. what a fabulous first chapter. my favourite line was the 'laugh as if plucked by a tweezer'. Vivid, simple and not your run of the mill expression. Very nice.

Well, this was funnier than I expected.

so harry has autism? didn't expect that so he's one of us

I really can’t wait to meet hermione

Being the dignified person I am, I obviously had to read McGonagall’s lines in her accent.

Honestly love this chapter, don't really have any comments for it other than that. Though I am starting to get curious about what Harry's childhood was like (in regards to why he is so goddamn smart and things like that).

This was recommended to me by a friend. Harry here brings up one of the key aspects that always bugged me about the HP universe: what's the deal of throwing out the Law of Conservation of Energy and Matter.

This story should be quite interesting.

I just found this story through some random reddit post and I must say I'm impressed.

This is exceedingly well written and has Rowling's style down to a T.
Speaking of T, if you are not 'Team TERF' like the 'author who shall not be named' is, then you are an officially better version of her.

Oh my. This is... Awful. The cringe is beyond words.

So I'm to believe a 12 year old is saying any of this?

A conscientious objector to child fucking conscription... Referring to public education. I'm not saying it's amazing, but he isn't going to the ghettos for education...

A rediculous sleeping disease that nobody's ever heard of...

This is atrocious. I can't bring myself to continue reading this.

Wow.
The book is awesome already.
Mainly because I'm laughing (with cringe, at some places).
But it's awesome.
I feel like a finally have a companion who gets how I feel when I read fantasy books (helplessness at the author's love for rationality).

McGonagall totally awesome without even trying!

Great start

Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality must be Best FanFic of All Time

I cracked up totally at flaming zebras line!

Mi cerebro se apago momentáneamente cuando Harry dijo lo de objetor de conciencia, tuve que buscar en google para saber que era y y mi cerebro volvió a funcionar, pero simplemente la forma de hablar de Harry me deja pensando, no me imagino como será Ron (para el caso si es que se acerca) por lo menos Hermione le puede seguir un poco la pista. Para terminar me an gustado mucho los primeros dos caps están geniales.

Personally I theorize that when an animagus transform to a smaller animal, it will be accompanied by a rush of hot air -the various atoms that the excessive mass has transformes into, to get rid of the space (some of which simply becomes energy -maybe.)

Alternativly the aditional mass is transported elsewere -like a weird version of Apparation Splinching. (Or possibly go into a pocket-space.)

Point is: It violates NO laws of physics. Not necessarily.

It's just not immediately obvious what exactly is going on. And require further observation and experimentation to get to the bottom of.

It's really quite exiting! _

I AM curious about the spells tho. And why they work the way they do.

We KNOW the first wizards did NOT use a wand. Simply because nobody knew it existed before it was made, yet magic must have existed, or wands would not be useful to invent.

That said, there's also the accidental magic, certain wandless magics (animagus, apparation), and Tom Riddle's CLEAR control over at least SOME minor magics.

Wands proboably used to be a Foci, to allow for more powerful spells -or for weaker Witches and Wizards to keep up with the rest. But over time it became a crutch ALL of them depended on.

(Which makes me wonder if squibs COULD do magic IF one could make a Foci powerful ENOUGH.)

The words I would have suspected was mere asociation value -to help visualisation-, except Ron failed a spell because of a mis-pronounced word -indicating the sound itself DO have magical Value.

Perhaps it has to do with energy vibrations.
I always did theorize Magic mighy work via Dark Energy -a not yet very well understood Force.

i wonder what it says about me that i would love to see flaming zebras terrorizing england, or anywhere really

LOLll

I love this book so much and I just started reading
thanks for this lovely story

Awww no study ahead then?

This chapter was funny XD
Harry reminds me of Sheldon from the big bang theory XD

Sometimes I wish I was a cat.

I love this insufferable know-it-all version of Harry. I wonder how he and Hermione will interact.

So far this Harry is annoying and sounds exactly like hermione minus the fact that he tests the theories while hermione always believes it but that reaction to magic just sucked

smartass

I know this was written over a decade ago, but it was still enjoyable.
I do want to point out though, as probably others have before me, that winguardium leviosa can not possibly lift a person. It's only used for lifting inanimate objects.

You'd either use mobilicorpus for lifting a person a few inches at a steady position, or levicorpus, to lift and move a person.

Oh my...a very different Harry,!

Another great one.

you know what, biting a math teacher because she doesn't know what a logarithm is is a perfectly understandable response. seriously, girl. i learned that in FIFTH GRADE, you got no excuse.

Magic is weird.

Being a Programmer, I had to laugh!

Dear whoever wrote this book,
I started reading it on quotev months ago. Was it you who posted it. If not, you might want to report it. The book on quotev made no mention of this story. Thank you.

P.s great au , well done

I'm dying of laughter this chapter is hilarious!

I couldn’t breathe after I started laughing. “Is that why you bit your third year maths teacher?She didn’t know what a logarithm was!”

The Universe: Take 2

Ahh I enjoy the relationship Harry has with his parents, and the gentle teasing going on during the chapter. I also love McGonagall who is trying to Remain Professional(TM) while clearly being amused by Harry absolutely freaking out. I hope his reaction to all of Magical Britain's buffoonery is like this. :)

great story. sound exactly like how Hermione would have been introduced to Hogwarts. (Can't really see Hagrid at the home of two dentists. )
I can imagine that Hermione would be a good candidate for the time turner if she always talked on a 26 hour circadian clock.

This chapter had me laughing like hell XD

This is absolutely WONDERFUL! I actually felt compelled to use a dictionary while reading for once, which I only do when the material has interested me and is worth understanding further. And this version of Harry Potter is just the cutest little genius I have ever had the pleasure of reading about.

I am absolutely in awe of your writing. This is, without hesitation, the best fan fiction I have come across to reading thus far. Portraying Harry the way you have was ingenious. I am more fond of this version of him, than the original.

My favorite line here -
Three thousand years of resolving big things into smaller (and smaller) pieces etc...

OH GODS! HYSTERICAL! I TELL YA! HYSTERICAL!ABSOULUTELY HILLARIOUSLY GOOD!Damn this is good.

Story is great so far, "Harry Potter" is my favorite series. In this chapter, when the levitation spell is cast, description of the event taking place would be an improvement. the only evidence we have of the spell is the father telling professor mcGonagall to put him back down.

Wow... I came here expecting HQFF and what I found is the Inverse of HS writing. I am deeply impressed, blown away and will read fully.

* chokes into laughter *
He literally bit his teacher for not knowing logarithms?
Good lord! He's such a - u know * dies laughing *

MINERVA! I'm so glad it's you.

I love the humor and the scientific centered character of Harry in this story This is something to look forward reading to

very good

Harrygets bitten by the basilisk*
also Harrybites it back*

spectacular, I'm liking this sassy harry already (harry's always been sassy, but now I can relate to him, being a bit of a wiz-kid or whatever myself)

When I read ch 1 a few minutes ago, I wasn't the biggest fan of starting off with Petunia's rant and Harry's scientific rambling. But this chapter and its humor has made me determined to keep reading.

Yes.
Just yes.

When Harry says "Fine, I won't bite anyone who doesn't bite me first." .!

Flaming Zebras?

After two chapters, I am officially interested. We shall see what happens.

This brings me joy.

I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard. Being a physics and math nut myself I understood just about everything out of Harry’s mouth, and it was hilarious.

Wow, I *like* these versions of Harry and Petunia! Can't wait to see what happens!

lol that was awesome!

OMG, Harry Potter is killing me here!

Very well done!

Harry sounds awfully like Sheldon Cooper!

FYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

Just found this, and it is everything! I'm loooving it! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! The biting, the logarithm, the crater and the purple smoke... Genius! Can't wait to read more! :D

AND SHE TURNED INTO A CAT.
Yes, I see why this story is so popular!

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."
~ Arthur C. Clarke

So, science we don't understand yet.

I'm very much enjoying how Harry approaches things that break down what he thought he knew.

So I had always known about this fanfiction, but I never read it, as I judge books by there cover (no offense), but now that I started it, I'm hooked!

holy shit that actually kind of sounds like me? like, my sleep pattern is fucked too, and its pretty similar to that except it's more of a 19 hour thing instead and i sometimes sleep for 12 hours because i can-

My father has the exact same condition.

I love your use of language and humor!

And then Harry bit Mcgonigal

Why is her name so hard to spell?

Oh... no... Minerva McGonagall with a (rather impressive) sense of humor? Gads...
That said, I laughed a lot and for several different reasons, so well done on that score.

HAHAHAHAHA!BITING A TEACHER!

Why is it that every time Harry opens his surprisingly intelligent mouth, I erupt into explosive laughter? This has GOT to be the funniest thing I've ever read in my entire life!

OH! You made my ribs hurt with this humorous banter, great work.

This is brilliant! I love this so much-
“"Rest assured, Mr. Potter," replied Professor McGonagall, "Hogwarts is quite capable of teaching the basics. And I suspect, Mr. Potter, that if I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England."”
So good-

The emotions of Harry's father, when levitated by Professor McGonagall, could have been expounded in a better fashion. I mean, we wouldn't expect a highly rational professor of Oxford University to simply let this eventuality pass without any shock or surprise, given that everything he could reason out scientifically thus far was shattered in moments.

I like the way your alternative Harry speaks. You see, I understand every word and the meaning behind them. It is beautiful in its precision.
And funny. How the adults react even more so.

Continues to be fun

Love the fic so far. Isn’t that the beauty of The Method (yep Platonic capitals)? You should not be afraid of changing paradigms, you should be thrilled. You are supposed to have a robust way of going about figuring out whatever life may throw your way that does not rest on beliefs... And this is me nitpicking: why on earth if H.J.P.E.V. is keen on proving by experience would he use theory for an unproven fact? But he is ten, he is adorable and he just saw a person turn herself into a cat. I’d hug him, if I were a hugger and if I weren’t a bit afraid of him biting me. Can’t cast the first stone though, I bit a wizard’s puppet when I was five, knowing full well the bunny was not real, after the loathsome man made fun of another kid. I’m 42 and my parents still bring it up to this day... Do you remember when Merc bit that...?

I’m finally back going to read this thing

Well thats a realy good start,I enjoyed chapters 1/2. It’s refreshing to have a good laugh.

Hmm...
I have to disagree...
'Magic' is just using different process one would have to take to accomplish a result through normal means by using 'magical' energy as a compensation...
So still science and harry shoukd realised that... no every accomplished scientist will realised that with a bit of digging

I love your writing! I’ve been avoiding reading this fanfic since it was just so popular and the length so unwieldy that I knew I’d get hooked on it the moment I started and never rest until I’d finished it, and I was correct. I love it already, and I’ve only just finished the first chapter. Thank you.

There's been a few times I've wanted to bite my math teacher when they seemed to know less than I did about math. Once stole the primer book (that indeed have all the answers) and got a rather amusing day out of that little debacle. Totally worth the detention (due to snide commentary, not theft)

Okay. I was starting to fear that being a rational fic this would have no humour, but this chapter has eased my concerns. Nice chapter.

Also, I like how intelligent Harry is in this. Goes to show how smart he'd be with the right upbringing.

This is by far the funniest start of a harry potter reincarnation I have ever read.

This sense of humor is right up my alley

I love how the process of his mind discarding everything he knows to be a fact is written, and executed. Very lovely, and well done.

I wish I could write like this.

However, a slight issue came to my mind.

"All right, I saw the Hogwarts Professor wave her wand and make your father rise up into the air, now what?"

I hate being a stickler for grammar, but is he meant to be thinking to himself in first person or third person?

In any case, this is going well, and your writing is still marvelous.

I just hope no wizard goes mad and does that to my city.

McGonagall is a god. I accept this notion. Also, Petunia and her husband are hilarious.

I read it as flaming Purple zebras

"and then you get FTL signaling!"

It was with an outburst of laughter at this point that I knew I'd enjoy this writing.

This was so fun to read! Thank god for the documentaries I watched when I was younger because I wouldn't have understood half of the words he used otherwise.

This is such a good story! I usually don't comment much unless i have a question, but even then sometimes i don't if the book is finished, which this is, but damn is this a good book. The complexity of the words and how you explain things is staggering! Just wow.

I know I'm... a bit late. And nobody will probably read this, lest I will read a reaction. But before I start reading chapter 3 I have to calm down. And the best way to do so is writing a short review. I will avoid the indepth version, it would consist mostly of muffled laughter and the explanation of gasping noises.
When I started reading this fanfiction I was sceptical, to say the least. But after only two chapters I can say, that I will be dissapointed, when I will have reached the end far too soon, no matter how long the following chapters might be. The idea of confronting this particular magical universe with logic and reason struck me as difficult, but the way it was done till now is more than enough let me take my scepticism, lock it away somewhere with Algebra and just enjoy the show before my eyes.

And it begins!

I’m rereading and this is just as good as I remember it

Haha! I love Harry’s reaction to Professor McGonagall turning into a cat!

I haven't even finished reading this chapter (the second one) and I'm in love! Science is almost always overlooked in fanfiction and many published books! love love love this. Little Harry spewing out biochemics like it's second nature is simply wonderful! how's he gonna be with the Weasley twins? imagine what they could do using magic and modern science. Gahhhhh thank you for writing this. I'm sure it'll occupy me for AGES and I'm willing to bet ill reread this. Multiple times. Can't wait for more logic vs magic clashing and blowing Harry's mind. Also, love the writing style. It just sucks you in.

This fanfic is SO good. I can't stop reading this. It's as good as Rowling's books, and maybe even better!

Only on the 2nd chapter, but I can already tell this is going to be an awesome read

Chapter 86:
"Harry, this is Alastor Moody, called also Mad-Eye, who will command the Order of the Phoenix after me - if anything should happen to me, that is."

That was a verbal slip-up on Dumbledore's part. After all this time I still find a lot of little details like this in the story, that I never noticed before. In case you read this I just wanted to let you know that people like me are still having a lot of fun with this work years after it's completion.
So, thank you.

hello, new reader here. I believe that this story is going to both annoy me and fascinate me.

Funny

Lol

'#include "stddisclaimer.h" '
Love it.

This will be so complicated to get Harry away from getting Head Boy. Poor Hermione.
How will she handle it? She will need a denkarium to get her peace
Love it

Laying it on a bit thick?

Oh my freaking GOD! McGonagall: That's the first time I've ever been called that... This story is freaking hilarious... Absolutely love it

I've read only the first two chapters so far, but it's fantastic. It reads so smoothly.

I like how descriptive the reason being Minerva won’t let Harry have his books

I just couldn't help noticing; you have A.M. spelled as AM. Could you fix that?

I'm laughing so hard, I pretty much understand how he feels, I would start crying if my world of science was proved to be fake.

Magic is always the answer.
Harry is smart but a children too and the magic is new for him.

I swear there will be a question during class on "how to render something invisible" or "hidden".

As if developing memetic countermeasures weren't bad enough.

I love this story so much already! Harry is hilarious, like a little Sheldon; so eager to learn. And Professor McGonagall is wicked.

Love it! They said it was too complicated, but dude... what a style!

You know, I tried reading this story a few years ago.

I still remember the reason I stopped. After reading Harry's over-the-top name; Harry Potter-Evans-Verres, I figured the writing would be quite juvenile. There are little nitpicky things that I see as warnings to stop reading, and to go and find something better. The poor raven cried gently while being cruelly whipped by the large hippopotamus? His orbs blazed brightly, but gently with the warmth of a winter sun? The goblin bowed lowly, worship in his eyes that the human would deign to say 'sup' to a goblin?

I guess I was a little quick to judge, I actually really enjoy your writing style. It's going to take me forever and a half to read all of this though!

Cheers.

Once again, awesome!

a

This is most excellent!

Ah I love McGonagall's sarcasm to Harry at the end of the chapter, and how she describes a crater in a destroyed city with random zebras wandering it.

Very funny to picture, and it just gives her and the current scene a better sense of realism to me.

Professor McGonagallsarcasmdry witlaughter.

I'm smiling nonstop. My cheeks hurt.

Okay, it's official-

FAVOURITE.
FANFIC.
EVER!
Wish you could write some more fanfiction, whether for HP or not, given the success of HPMOR. Your writing style is smooth and humorous and just kind of clicks with me. I've drawn a lot of inspiration for my writing style from you and you know, Ravenclaw!Harry is one of my soft spots anyway (as long as it's written nicely. You wouldn't believe how many stories I've come across with Ravenclaw!Harry or Slytherin!Harry where the author just is scrabbling for information to make themselves and Harry come across as smart and some of the information that they use is laughable.) You really know what you're talking about as well, and HPMOR has, again, been a huge inspiration for me in more than just writing. Thank you for this gift to the world and hope you have a good night!

Love, Moonsung, aged 12

I doubt I'll review often, but I am sold as of chapter 2. The personality Harry is showing so far promises that this will be fun, and I look forward to the many chapters ahead.
~Zero serenity

You know, the destruction of everything he knew should have had more eff-there it is.

No, she's right Harry. That is exactly what would happen.

"And I suspect, Mr. Potter, that if I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England."
I have a weird feeling that this would also apply for my brother and I...

When I read Harry's reaction to McGonagall's transformation I accidentally yelled "Finally!" because that bothered me about transfiguration ever since I returned to HP fandom (that I didn't see since I was 12 (with an exception of occasional ship debate or two)) - I had to even explain mom what was so great to get my reaction xD I believe this will be my favourite fic even if it takes a bit for my brain to comprehend English terms xD

i laughed at the include header file. Rereading the fic...i miss this so much.

You suggest that chapter five is where the story really starts to hook people, but I believe this chapter, chapter two is a good start.
I am not quite sure how two characters going "Huh," got me to laugh out loud, but it did. Now I believe I will be binge reading this story until I catch up.
Huh.

Gosh that ending, i have to refrain from laughing since I'm at school. But...XD XD XD XD XD XD. Where has this been all my life. XD XD XD XD

To be true I was a bit sceptical about this fanfiction. For many years I was just "should I read it ?". And today I was like "Damn! I'll just start and see. If I don't l like it i'll stop right away" . But God it's very good, and it's only the 3rd chapter ! So if you're as sceptical as I was and you're here to read the reviews to help you decide. I'm telling you read it right away !

"A choked laugh escaped Professor McGonagall, as if extracted from her by tweezers." Has to be the most satisfyingly descriptive sentence I have ever read. Thank you

A little over a year ago I discovered this fan fiction thru the podcast. I listened to the first to episodes and I was hooked. I went on line and found the link to FFN and the other website. I meant to finish listening to the podcast ... but things got in the way.

Here it is a little over a year later and I have decided to finish listening to the podcast. After listening to the first chapter I thought hey 'how about if I read a little of the fan fiction in between podcast episodes'. Well I'm here to say that I'm planning on reading most of the story before I listen to the podcast.

I just currently finished chapter six ... and I JUST can't WAIT to listen to the podcast now to get Lee's human actual voice on some of the characterization and deep deep descriptions that he has written for me to read.

This is hilarious!

I LOVE THIS
It made me laugh out loud (really!) for five minutes in the dead of night when I had a house-full of fifteen people sleeping, including my father. I skip over the science stuff when I can't understnad it because i don't like it much, but at lease you state the results at the end so I don't miss anything important or otherwise

#include "stddisclaimer.h"

Marry me. I haven't laughed this hard for years!

Nerd Harry rocks xD

I'm laughing so hard I'm suffocating! Literally, I probably shouldn't be laughing with I'm sick . . . Oh well, reading this amazing story is totally worth it!

Hahahaha! Oh my word. They say he handles the adults is hilarious! I love McGonagall!

THE SPELL TO LIFT PEOPLE IS LEVICORPUS! ! ! ! GET IT CORRECT PLEASE! ! ! ! !

i think i've laughed more in the first 2 chapters here than i have in the last 3 fics i read!

This chapter had me in stitches, oh my god! :'D
Also, that disclaimer? Nice! Are you a computer engineer or studied coding in C?

"I will find a solution in time"
sneaky Minnie! time turner?

Giggling uncontrollably, here.

And that is indeed a perfectly adequate reason for biting a teacher. In my opinion, anyway.

hahaha, you made me laught so much this chapter hahaha

Note: my jaw is currently wired shut and laughing is painful. The last dialog from Minerva was quite painful to read.

I finally decided to start reading this story. It's been on my list for a while, but I like to take my time getting to the popular stories so I can really enjoy them. I simply have to say that I love this already. The clash of science and magic is hilarious. I was dying of laughter by the end of this chapter.

Reading Harry call Petunia 'mum' is a bit strange, since most fics right Harry as utterly despising the Dursleys and/or barely being on good terms with Petunia at some point, but it's also interesting.

So far I'm very glad I decided to pick up this story and I'll do my best to leave a review every chapter, but I tend to get sucked in when I'm reading, especially when its entertaining, so I may miss a chapter or so.

Oh my god! I read about this in some coment on reddit and I can't stop laughing. This is brilliant! I can't wait (and won't wait) to read what happens next.
Have a good day, you made me laugh, thanks : )

This Harry made me crack up! I love the characters so far! Very well written!

Brilliant chapter! I also love McGonagal in this!

*Giggles madly.*

god! I had a feeling I was in the right place

god! I had a feeling I was in the right place

Uuuui un include al principio. Muy práctico. Este capítulo tuvo algunas palabras difíciles de pronunciar. Fue muy cómico también. Al siguiente...

HAHAHAHA*GASP*HAHAHAHA-This-HAHAHA-CHAPTER-HAHAHAHA-OMG

It's hilarious. Best thing I've read in a while.

LOL! Oh, that's adorable! So funny! I suppose biting the Maths Teacher was better than other choices that could have been made, but the logic behind it is priceless!

TeaGrannymcmlxiii

BIG WORDS! MAKE IT STOP!

I LOVE this fanfic so far! Maybe because I like genii.

Late to the party, but this is amazing. I'm hooked.

This is great. We have to read this for our Geometry homework (don't ask), so thank you for so inspiring my teacher to assign this. You are a genius that hath manipulated the mind of my teacher of the maths, befuddled it with amusement and awe, and twisted his brain wires to give your stories forth to the children, so they might read it and be graded. So thank you.

ROTFLMAO! ;-D

Having read, more like tried to, more HP fanfics since trying to read this one i have to say i appreciate this one much more now

This is at least 9 and a half times better than the actual Harry Potter books, kudos.

*nods in agreement*

It's PERFECT.

I loved your disclaimer style! Different, unique and completely in keeping with the theme! Lol...good work with the story!

Fantastic! I was laughing, evn if i had to read one-two sentences again to fully understand it. Biting a teacher for not knowing logarithms:DD that conversation.. well, this whole conversation was sooo funny! I love this clever Harry:DD

This is not a story that can be read quickly. I tried, got confused and realized I was starting to skip parts and that's not a good idea. Harry as an intellectual is kind of odd. He has always been clever figuring out that it was unlikely that a man selling dragon eggs should be in the vicinity of Hagrid. In this story, he is downright arrogant. Professor Snape is going to have a field day putting Harry in his place.
I like how you define your point of departure: where Lily gives Petunia a potion to make her pretty. One wonders what the significance of Harry's 26 hour sleep cycle is.

You're well known for your love of rationality (as is evidenced very well by this 'fic). Would you like some Rational Twilight Sparkle? Go look up "Winning and the Pitfalls Therein" over on , by RandomNPC. I'd link it, but, y'know, it's .

This was a funny chapter, think I'm going to enjoy this fanfiction a lot!

Also read Three Worlds Collide from the author and just now made the connection through TvTropes (although I apparently had this bookmarked already...funny thing).

uyfuytf

When the professor can turn into a cat, getting bitten by the professor is a real possibility. But wouldn't she use Mobilicorpus, not Wingardium Leviosa?

I know that two hours out-of-phase thing is real: the late great Patrick Campbell suffered from it, although in his case iirc he was four hours out.

o.o O.O . , . , LOL! I'm dying XD AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA all those technical terms. just come out and say it. your teachers were to stupid to teach you correctly XD AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA hey I think i may have bit a teacher in kindergarten O.O does that make me some untapped genius too? :D AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH XD oh god if this is just the first two chapters this is gonna be a RIOT XD

I love this so much!

1. Finding solutions in time, eh?
2. Harry's right. Modern schools, especially underfunded elementary schools, underfunded high schools, and pretty much all colleges (with a few exceptions, like Harvard) really are "disintegrating" as far as educational standards go. I wish there was something I could do to get out of it, or do about it, but, like most people, I'll just have to keep my head down and take the right classes instead.
3. Keeping the books from him was a very effective plot device. One could only imagine what a rational Harry could do with a two-months head start.

Very funny.

Well damn Minerva.

Oh my god, I love your Harry so much. His smartness and snark and everything.

OK, that was hilarious! I actually burst out laughing several times in this chapter.

Brilliant xD
Well written. I LOVE your style and the thought you must have put into every sentence.

nice

The whole thing with the cat was amazing. Truly spectacular. Love this

Harry is so sassy

Ha ha ha! Plague of flaming zebras indeed. And to think I've got 120 chapters to go! I can't wait to finish them all.

Laugh out loud funny.

I'm giving this fic a try, it's pretty good, but there's one thing that bothers me. I thought children goes through performing at least a teensy bit of magic whether accidental or not. So Harry should have experienced it in his 11 years of childhood, which would have him think and believe that maybe magic or whatever it is that he did is real. but in this fic, it looks like Harry had never experienced accidental magic in his entire life... so I'm a bit confused... Either way, I'm hooked so whatev

This was an excellent chapter

You know, for someone who claims to study science, or at least read about it, I'm surprised he didn't know the name of the spell came from Latin. But then again, he's 10-11 in here.

["Magic isn't enough to do that! You'd have to be a god!"]

How could you possibly say that? You have no idea of the mechanics of magic. I guess it's intellectual stubbornness? But how then would being a God be enough explaination? He knows exactly as about magic as he does about the abilities of a deity.

Plague of flaming zebras. Now I can see I've seen everything written in fanfiction.

and then she turned into a cat.

wave goodbye to the last several century's of human understanding of the universe.

I love it!

ermmm...
this story is too intelligent for a dunderhead like me

Thank you for the levity and for also understanding human curiosity. jimp

Lovvvvvved this

Funny ending, favorite part, looking forwad to Diagon Alley!

[ I suspect, Mr. Potter, that if I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England.]

Please tell me there is a fan art drawing of this somewhere out there.

I never thought Professor McGonagall could be this amusing.

this story is starting out great!

I'm seriously getting a ggod laugh out of this*wipes tears*

Bro. Harry. Dude. Friend. Bro man. Friendo. Homeslice. Buddy, homeskillet, homepal. Buddy bro, why does that cat thing bother you so much?
Law of conservation of energy only states that it can't be created or destroyed, nothing here is proven to have been destroyed or created! It's just transfigured! Think of it like the atoms making up extra mass turned into excess heat and energy and chemicals of the change, instead of a hat she got horomones, and anything after that could just have been sent to 'the void' as I've termed it. Another dimension that few people, like mediums and ghosts themselves, have access to that parallels ours, the fourth and maybe fifth dimmenions.
You can't see it because it's no longer on your plane of existence, rather in the 'spirit realm', but nothing was destroyed nor created in all actuality. That's why it's called TRANSFIGUREation. To change shape or form..
You know this, I am lecturing to someone who is already well aware, ah yes good, I'll be on my way then. Afraid I just can't stop the old teaching train, I feel the need to enlighten all those who are misinformed or just generally wrong. Jolly good day! *tips metaphysical hat*
Write on:)

I like that you specifically state that this prodigy-Harry is NOT the product of the public education system. Makes his excessive braininess more believable.

All I have to say for this is: LOL! Ill be reviewing EVERY chapter.

whahahahah! awesome!

It's not fair to make me laugh when my back hurts!

Yes, and this lack of physics in "Harry Potter" makes my friend not to like it.
Maybe shell read this.

Zoya1416,not logging on. This is the funnest thing I've read in years. It had been a horrible day, and then someone rec'd this chapters in and I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

I don't normally write reviews this early in a piece, since I find that it often takes the first few chapters just to get a feel for the Author's writing style and a handle on the direction and prose of the piece itself. In just this chapter (Chapter 2) alone, I have personally emitted a rather loud guffaw at the very much appreciated disclaimer and the quite descriptive ending of the chapter. If the author was able to bookend such an early chapter with an expulsion like that, I have no doubt that this story will quickly become a favorite, and I am eagerly looking forward to consuming the tale in its entirety.

Type your review for this chapter here...

Something I didn't notice the first time I read through this chapter (last year):
Harry notes not having all his beliefs shattered in that moment of anti-climax after McGonagall levitates his father.
And then he goes ahead and lets his mind do exactly that (shatter its beliefs) after she transforms into a cat.
Clever setup.. And funny; it had me chuckling even unto the end of the chapter.

gods.
this harry is gonna be the death of me.
i dont think i can stand over 100 chapters of this science talk.
what profession are you if u don't mind me asking?

This is absolutely brilliant! It was witty, well written, intelligent, engaging and no less than hilarious! It's such a shame nobody I know persoanlly seems to understand why it's so very funny.
In short this story has been amazing so far and I have very high hopes.
-4Dragons

I was a bit disappointed of harry's father's reaction seeing magic for the first time, especially because he was flying above the ground, totally out of control in this situation. But on the otherside the missing reaction of the father leads the main focus on Harry's feelings and thoughts about magic.
The rest of story is amusing and good.

O, I've just started the chapter. Had to leave off and comment on the fact that a young boy, a 10 year old no less, is talkign like he attended a couple classes at college. I know his dad is a - bio chemist, is it- but c'mon now

I feel as if I need dig out my cap and gown to reassure myself that I did indeed graduate with honors. A humorous fan fiction with scientific prerequisites. I never thought I'd see the day. This promises to be a VERY interesting read.

Oh dear Glob.
1 chapter in and I'm already cackling into my pillow (because it's queer to be laughing at ones phone, or so I've been told)
I applause this magnificent work of art and literature

oh that harry!

I don't leave reviews, but this may be the best first chapter for a fanfic I have ever read, I am very excited to see where this goes.

想起来麦格教授限制时间转换器的时候我有多么愤怒。以及时间转换器的限制成为赫敏没有被挽救的理由之一的时候我是多么的怨愤。我就决心不能成为麦格教授这样的人，这样的哈利不要求她负责任的人。赫敏死的时候我没哭，当时我觉得赫敏最后的话有点故意煽情，但是哈利说麦格不必负责，和麦格当众道歉的时候我哭的不得了，虽然不知道为什么。但是我不觉得麦格教授还能有所改变，她已经定型了，让一位足够老的人找到自己的错误，承认，并且改变可不是一件容易的事。

PS:many people think highly of this book in like you!

I made a mistake. I started reading this story in class... keeping a neutral face and not laugh is super hard! And because I don't learn from my mistakes, I'm going to continue reading

I freaking love this story.

Reading about how Harry's brain crashed and the argument to support his biting incident is funny.
His parents reactions, also.

Good lord, he's going to be worse than Hermione. Can't wait until he meets her! But is he still going to end up in Gryffindor, I wonder...

LOL!1 Dis stury is gr8!

:))

I kept remembering that last paragraph wrong. I kept thinking McGonagall said " Flaming PURPLE zebras terrorizing the remains of England." Of course the best part of my error was IMAGINING muggles seeing them! The next was the wizards trying to erase all those memories. You just know they'd miss enough people to make the government start asking questions. I am hopeful that this time I can finally finish this wonderful story.

I am extremely tempted to make a Ktekyo Hitman Reborn reference right now due to Harry's biting incident but I'm not going to because this fanfiction is far too interesting

You've got McGonagall spot on!

"You turned into a cat! A SMALL cat! You violated Conservation of Energy!..."

Actually, there was no way of knowing if the conservation of energy was violated. For example, the mass of the cat could have been the same as the humans (i.e. high density), then it would've been OK. Or another possibility is that the wizards/witches have some kind of a very high capacity energy battery hidden somewhere (maybe even unknowingly to them), which they can use as a buffer (e.g.. when turning into a cat - lower mass - very high amounts of energy should be released; but it is instead stored in the battery, which then is used upon returning to human state). The battery could also used to power levitation. In both cases, the energy would be conserved.

'You'd have to be a God'
Liking it so far! :D

. MY. FUCKING. ASS. OFF. THIS IS TO FUNNY XD AND ITS ONLY CHAPTER TWO!

I absolutely love this; it is simply too hilarious to be legal!

omf FLAMING ZEBRAS!? two chapters into this i'm already done with you XD

So far I'm loving it! Thanks for sharing it!

Harry as a little kid sounds like a terror! He may think he has a difficult life dealing with his parents, but his parents must find him challenging too. I wonder how long his promise is going to last...

I can't wait to see how you handle the conservation of energy issue, since it underlies basically all of physics. Do you have new physical laws in place that magic obeys?

Also, an 11-year-old understand Hamiltonians is insanely impressive, they're challenging to get when you're in college

Bloody brilliant!

3 Harry is adorable! Thank you for writing!

I like Harry seems a kind of mad genius. It is fun!

This chapter made me laugh. hehe.

I like flaming zebra. you ,sir, know how to bring an audience in.

So Harry has an unusual sleep pattern and an intolerance for teachers who know less than he does. I can tell he doesn't like people underestimating him just because he is young, considering he has probably studied more than they have their entire life. His reaction to Professor McGonagall breaking the Conservation of Energy is quite funny; I can't wait to see what he thinks of other spells.

I'm dying
I'm dying so hard
This is awesome
I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight

Simply brilliant so far.

HAHAHAHAHA! For a scientist Michael has a really good sense of humor. They seem like good parents to Harry, good for him!

Poor Harry, being embarrassed by his parents xD It's downright hilarious though!

It's like Harry on Hermione's shoes. Hilarious.

Ok, I'm sold. Harry's reaction and backstory are great, though I wish his dad had had some sort of freakout, too. On the topic of his parents, I really liked seeing them be... cheerful. It's a good thing

i think we are forgetting the basic thing... that harry potter is just 11 years old. the fact that he is familiar to so many theories makes one wonder if he may be a genius, which he is not . thus the amount of knowledge he is applying at times is quite absurd . the story started with great optimism but we , as readers are forced to compare the same with the original book. and the book was far from great, it was a brilliant creation. this (hpmor) is just plain average, and not that interesting

OK, I friggin' love McGonagall, but yeah, I doubt she's ever been called a god before. That last line is GENIUS!

LOL!

"... I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England."
Oh my goodness gravy.

Finally rereading this story again. I can't believe how much it changed as it went on. Harry is such a painfully arrogant moron back here. I almost want to strangle him.

'But the books I've read said it can't be so and science is never refined or corrected over time rendering these things obsolete! There totally aren't any other potential explanations other than that she has a cat-sized-brain in a cat-sized body!' He's terribly uninventive for someone supposed to be able to create hypotheses.

Still quite humorous though.

Not sure if there are any "mysteries" to be solved yet, but I'm formulating a hypothesis that McGonagall is going to give him a time turner as a temporary solution to his sleeping problem. I am curious about the cause, though.

Was a bit skeptical about this story to start, but now I can see I'll be enjoying it quite thoroughly. And to think most people had to wait who knows how long for the entire story!~

OH MY GOSH THIS IS ABSOLUTE GOLD! Never have I read such a well-written fanfiction. I love this and I'll probably pull an all-nighter trying to finish all 122 chapters.
kudos x100 to you! stay awesome!

Way good.

This is hilarious! I like this intellectual version of Harry even better than I would have thought! I have a feeling though that he and Hermione might become bitter rivals competing to show which one of them is the smarter of the two. XD Though Professor McGonagall could have at least given him a copy of the book required for Potions class, so that Snape won't be able to embarrass him.

Hahaha... This is so amusing. You know your making me cause a scene in my office

this chapter nearly made me pass out from laughing

A plague of flaming zebras...It's a wonder I can type with how I'm laughing!

This is brilliant. I'm DEFINITELY looking forward to the rest...

Oh MY GOD, THIS IS GLORIOUS. I LOVE IT.

Haha McGonagall is amazing. She is the best teacher at Hogwarts (in my opinion of course).

Hahahaha that's great. this is a good story

Wow! Your characters! They are so, like able, sincere, and nuanced. Also, I love your use of science.

Buahahaha, I am loving this so far.
Fun note (for me, anyway, others might find it tedious), Harry's sleep disorder is called a non-24 sleep wake cycle, and the majority of people who have it are blind or suffering from Intellectual disability, though it's not usually that rigorous or consistent. I know because I have it, despite not being caused by blindness or intellectual disability.
Harry, you and I are therefore brothers in atypical disability.

This sounds amazing

I truly wish I had had this Harry's childhood, as one of the things I have always wanted is a good education and he seems to have gotten one far better than I. This is looking to be an amazing story, and I'm glad I found it.

Chapter 2 and I'm laughing a lot already this is great.

The scene of Harry reminded me extremely of the Zoo scene from the original. Harry is Dudley and McGonagall the snake.

This is really great holy crap I can't stop giggling.

:) This is great so far, and the last bit made me laugh: "...a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England." The mental image was great :) Love the story.

My heart is swelling with the absolute perfection that is this epic.
"Oh, is that why you bit a maths teacher in third year."
when I read that, I'm howling with laughter, tears of mirth escape my eyes. Once again, I give my most sincere thanks to the lovely authour of this amazing epic. Thank you.

- Manny (You can find me on tumblr at asexualtomriddle.)

This is incredibly stupid. Who the fuck teaches an 11 year old about these laws? And he should know that nothing is impossible. What was impossible 500 years ago is possible know, what is impossible now might not be in 500 years from now. That is why people shouldn't try the whole science thing with Harry Potter, it does not work.

Hi. I really love the setting. I'm thrilled to read the rest and find out how everything turnes out in this version. Really really good story and I really like your style of writing too. Sorry for my English, I'm not a native speaker

Alright I'm going to be semi-bold here. After only two chapters, I hypothesize that this is going to be the best thing since Douglas Adams!

Hi.
Great chapter, and please, continue with the plague of flaming zebras.
Anyways... Isn't Hermione's case something similar to this Harry? I mean, she buys the new books early, studies them all summer, then comes back knowing everything before everyone else, right? I'm sure that's how she does it, because being that good just doesn't happen. If nothing else, they should become great friends, so there's that :)
Keep up the good work :)

hakon2feb.

I've read 2 chapters, Just 2 and its on my faves List. I Don't think that's ever happened before. Can't wait to read the rest.

This is so funny! I found myself laughing crazily like, well, a crazed psychopath with your sense of humor! Truly spectacular! :D And such a word count too. You should seriously consier becoming an author. I would just love to have your books!

Wait until chapter 5 to see if I like it? Chapter 1 had me hooked, and chapter 2 is hilarious! Now I have to finish reading the story (ok, book(s)), and that is a Bad Thing when you have time-management issues...major time sink, here. Excellent job!

The sass in this chapter, oh god, I am seriously dying! xD
Although I think you've developed Harry very well (so far anyways) I am not entirely sure how I feel about his new persona, just yet. However the story is interesting and different from any other fanfiction I have ever read before. I definitely enjoy reading something well written and fascinating (?) and I already love this quite a lot.
Looking forward to reading the rest! :D

Ah, so Michael has a sense of humor, then! Maybe I like him more than I did before now. And Harry's hilarious, so I'll definitely give him and Petunia a break about the biting history. *excitedly dives back into this fantastic story with well-thought-out secondary original characters and overall histories*

Bravo!

"All right, *I* saw the Hogwarts Professor wave her wand and make *your* father rise into the air, now what?"
It should be you or my, I and your can't be like this in a sentence.

This is fucking beautiful and I love it so far especially McGonagall's bit at the end with the flaming zebras.

This chapter was basically awesome!

Right, one review per chapter. All I can think of is how much I'm looking forward to the next chapter, or at least the chapter when our hero is introduced to another brainy child, Hermione. You've got me hooked now, so good job.

This is so funny! The funniest i have read in all hpdom!

you are one fine author, my friend ;D

I enjoyed the general reaction to magic, as well as the interesting additional factors you have added into the narrative. By now Harry is using quite complex mathematics/laws and it is a tad difficult to follow just by a quick read through, so I will have to resort to researching such laws a little earlier than expected. Nonetheless, this is still exceedingly excellent so far.

His father's reaction was adequate, and I am pleased there wasn't anything silly or over the top regarding reactions.

And goodness it is good that Hagrid didn't come to fetch Harry this time.

This story seems fairly popular, and I can already tell why. I was in a bad mood, but this still made me smile. I've always been interested in science and magic, also, and it feels like those questions will be answered here :)

Someone make a fanfic of Harry creating a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England with his first year schoolbooks please I need to read that.

This is awesome! Even if I don't particularly like Harry Potter fanfics, this is funny!

... Unsure why I first coined this story as "boring"... Then again, didn't bother reading till the end of chapter 2 the first time "_
But that last comment from Minerva is pure gold _

annnnd im hocked fucking awesome work! D
Cant wait to read the rest of it D

thank you for sharing your passion D

If you want proper coding in chapter 2 header, in c its #include stddisclaimer.h

Wonderful beginning. Love McGonagall and the laughing parents.

So far I really like this story, it is terribly amusing, though you already managed to make me feel slightly stupid.

Wow - talk about willful conception of reality. He has the self-centeredness of genius without a morality system to along with it that others can survive. Hopefully, he'll learn to get by with others.

"Fine, I won't bite anyone who doesn't bite me first." So cute. He's going to end up biting a ton of DADA teachers.

That sound you hear is me laughing hysterically...

-his

So true. ;)

If Harry thinks a cat is bad, wait until he finds out about Peter's rat and Rita's beetle. If someone came and did real magic right in front of me, I would probably fall over on the floor too.
"...and a plague of a flaming zebras terrorizing what remains of England." - ROFLOL!

I notice it started from chapter 2, the clues?
"Of course it was my fault. There's no one else here who could be responsible for anything."

This is one of the small things which I couldn't really piece together on my first read of this fanfic.
of course I don't want to spoil the coming chapters so I cant elaborate further..

Cool then, some favorite quotes from this chapter..

"... Nothing about how magic doesn't work when people are skeptical of it, or anything like that."
this really reminded me about how I have been told that this prayer/ritual etc wont work if you don't believe in it!

"Sufficient? Probably not," Harry said. "But at least it will help. Go ahead, Deputy Headmistress."
when I started to realize to a small extent how I might actually like this book..

Initially (first couple of chapters or so, was it?) I was kinda feeling this "strange feeling" harry had
MADE no sense. and it didn't seem like it would be explained...

"You turned into a cat! A SMALL cat! You violated Conservation of Energy! That's not just an arbitrary rule, it's implied by the form of the quantum Hamiltonian! Rejecting it destroys unitarity and then you get FTL signalling! And cats are COMPLICATED! A human mind can't just visualize a whole cat's anatomy and, and all the cat biochemistry, and what about the neurology? How can you go on thinking using a cat-sized brain?"
Thus the point at which I can say I was sure this book wouldn't disappoint me, I was super impressed, and was like "omg I don't understand a word of that!" so that was until I did some fact checking and encountered this post/109296741502/chapter-2-in-which-i-remember-why-i-hated-this
Still, I love physics, so... yeah moving on.
yeah his sleep "condition", I guess it must be Delayed sleep phase disorder.
yeah so... I don't think I can write large reviews like this for each chapter.

I laughed so loudly at the last bit. I think my parents think I've gone mad. You should really be a comedian :)

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. Bless you. I worship you. Thank you so much for writing this.

This is not a review... I'm puzzled... I thought "wingardium leviosa" did not work with levitating people, only objects. I also remember that some exceptions included small children or animals, but not people. That would be "levicorpus"... Is it on purpose? Does this "parallel universe" also apply to the normal rules of magic?
Thank you!

Love love

McGonagall is so specific in that last paragraph.

"Cat's are complicated! A human mind can't just visualize a whole cat's anatomy..." What about the font half of a cat's anatomy? Lol. I think you meant, "a cat's whole anatomy". But actually, the reason I started writing that quote wasn't to poke fun or nitpick, but to ask if you were poking fun at some fanfic writers' idea of how the Animagus works?

I wish I knew what quantum Hamiltonian, unitarity, and FTL signaling are.

I love the lines, "You'd have to be a God" and "And then a woman turned into cat, so much for all that." The latter makes me think of Dr. Seuss.

"I'll find a solution in time" or actually, "I'll find a solution in Time". I had wondered the first read through. It's great you put in these little touches.

I can imagine harry biteing Snape. Its funny...

XD AWESOME!

I'm going to be griping about the writing (read: "scripting," as the plotting is superb and the characterization is good-to-excellent) throughout these reviews, but it's frustrating because it's often hard to point out examples—it's more of a general style, or lack thereof. Here's one example, though:

"Just Professor will do," said she, and then, "Wingardium Leviosa."

Harry looked at his father.

"Huh," Harry said.

His father looked back at him. "Huh," his father echoed.

Then Professor Verres-Evans looked back at Professor McGonagall. "All right, you can put me down now."

His father was lowered carefully to the ground."

I see what you're trying to do there, but it doesn't work. The lack of description doesn't really speak for itself, it just seems spare to the point of amateurishness. Read some Asimov again, perhaps, to see how he does it, as you seem to want to do more-or-less what he did with writing style. Or if not Asimov, someone. The story is just too damn good to be dragged down by amateur scripting.

"You can't DO that!"

I don't know if it's deliberate, but there's a Calvin and Hobbes with that exact punchline, which *also* sent me into apoplectic fits of laughter. Well done. I like how you have Harry make perfect sense in his head, and yet *still* know something about his own mind that he does not: Why he didn't react strongly to the levitation.

"A blur was coming over Harry's vision, as his brain started to comprehend what had just broken. The whole idea of a unified universe with mathematically regular laws, that was what had been flushed down the toilet; the whole notion of physics. Three thousand years of resolving big complicated things into smaller pieces, discovering that the music of the planets was the same tune as a falling apple, finding that the true laws were perfectly universal and had no exceptions anywhere and took the form of simple maths governing the smallest parts,
that the mind was the brain and the brain was made of neurons, a brain was what a person was -

And then a woman turned into a cat, so much for all that."

Nice.

Oh, this is very funny! I really wish I had discovered this fanfic years earlier. I read about it on io9, probably won't vote on the finale, but I'm still interested in reading this through to the end!

okay, so a friend just recommended this to me and I actually seem to like it. I know you gave a disclaimer and all, but is this story really yours? I mean, I'm just used to people writing their own stuff and I'd hate to think that you just copied and pasted this from somewhere. But it must be your own original work, right?
I mean has that term and condition that it must be your own. So, wow...this is just really nice...Thanks.

It's interesting, to say the least, but I don't understand half of what it says and I'm not all that into it. The style of writing and stuff just doesn't appeal to me. I don't understand it. I'm just not feeling it.

I'm a little confused with Harry "[biting] a maths teacher in third year." Did Harry literally bite the teacher or is it stated metaphorically? I find it absurd to imagine Harry biting someone... Other than that, I love both Harry and his adoptive father 's reactions to Professor McGonagall's magic.

Oh my god i could die of laughing reading this ! This is so interesting ! Harry is so funny oh my god and i thought that was his dad the worst holy shit how wrong i was ! Harry must have had an awesome childhood with those two !

I'm stupid and English is not my first language but what has child conscription to do with biting a teacher? I know he apparently was not happy with the school system and he's a prodigy and was too smart for the school he attended. However, I searched for child conscription and translated it in my language but it said that it had something to do with signing up children for the military. Anyone, who sees my comment, please help. Because I feel incredibly stupid.
And, btw, I love this story.

biting a .

Ok i really don't like the whole no school supplies because basically he is smart and she wants him to be behind it is stupid other then that great chapter love the humor.

Still at work.
All of this suppressed laughing is hurting my chest.
Keep it up.

A-MA-ZING. This Harry is so interesting and so different from the original. I wonder how he and Hermione will converse without getting into fights-or should I say bites? :D Great chapter, now 101 to go. I think I'm the luckiest person on earth

"You turned into a cat! A SMALL! You violated Conservation of Energy!" It actually would have been the Conservation of Matter and Energy (Conservation of Matter if you wished to shorten it to what was relevant), which is irrelevant because Harry has no way of knowing whether it was violated or not seeing he can not tell merely by looking that the seemingly lost matter wasn't simply changed to a gaseous state, converted to energy, or just displaced. So his reaction of immediately jumping to a conclusion and protesting the event on basis of violating his understanding of specific principles when he knows nothing about the mechanism by which it occurred or really anything about the occurrence beyond what is immediately obvious is a bit ludicrous in ways that I don't believe that it this meant to be. The way he speaks implies that he's thought about the implications of it some length (relative to the time period) and speaking about it what I suppose is meant to be complex terms, when what he says demonstrates a lack of actual comprehension and genuinely intelligent critical thought on the matter.* He also seems to believe that his immediate conclusions on the matter are the final word on the matter of the accuracy of what is known of physics for all of science, at least as far as he is concerned (because, no, the fact that you have encountered some that conflicts with iyour/i understanding of the science does not invalidate all of physics ever, and everywhere).
. He claims to be a student of science, yet he make assumptions and comes to extreme conclusions based on little rational evidence and full well iknowing/i that he doesn't understand what little he has observed without managing to consider more than a single theory, showing an impressive lack of creativity, and generally displays more knowledge than iintelligence/i. He's not trying to understand ihow/i it idoes/i work or how and whether it functions with/in terms of what is already known/theorized, just straight up deciding that because it, to him, on the surface seems to contradict one portion of his knowledge that iall of known science/i(or at least physics) is iwrong/i about every thing ever, despite the fact the nothing has actually been disproven, except, perhaps, the assumption of it being impossible for a woman to spontaneously transform into a cat. In short he would be a rather poor scientist (based on what has been shown so far)(and is rather arrogant/presumptuous).

But it is rather funny.

* Also I don't think that McGonagall said anything about (extensive) visualization being required for transformation, and, even, then the complaint of her not being able to visualize all of a cat's biology is a. not necessarily true, and b. something that extends (can extend into infinitely) beyond that, as in she can't (accurately) visualize all of the quantum particles the make up a cats' atoms and probably is not thinking of the number of protons, neutrons, and electrons in every element of every atom in a cat's body either, but she does think of that anyways for her human body, and yet somehow manages to continue in her existence (a chef does not need to know the chemical composition of every ingredient, the weight of every atom in every ingredient, and the arrangement of every quark in every particle in order to cook (just the relatively basic qualitative descriptions and reactions)).

Well I suppose when you put it that way, magic does seem to break the universe a bit.
...
A bit? Why did I just say that?

Never mind, there has to be an explanation (unless the point of this work is to punish us for thinking literally, in which case I can go REALLY outside of the box) for this 'magic'.

So...perhaps magic isn't energy manipulation or playing god but a way to perform astonishingly difficult calculations very quickly before implementing your findings in such a short amount of time to seem simultaneous? Or it could be a broadcast to some really powerful computing device (other than the mind) that does this stuff for the magical user before sending back it's findings, making the wizard or witch think that what they are doing is instinctual but actually entirely out of their hands?
I guess if we went with that, the less powerful wizards wold have a worse connection to the computer than the others...

And wait. Are Harry and his parents located in a city? McGonagal seems to think so and yet why would they be when they are a fairly rich middle class family who has to by default be close(ish) to a university?

Going well so far though. I'm liking this.

I can't say that I've warmed to Harry yet, but I can say that I am absolutely fascinated by this story. This is excellent.

oh my gosh, this second page is absolutely hilarious!

biting a teacher. Classic

An okay chapter

Are you sure the family aren't the Grangers(or that you messed the characters(Harry is similar to Hermione(TOO much learning))) Now seriously, good fanfic

According to Stefan Salvatore "everyone loves a biter" lol lmaof

only on chapter two, and already harry is so unlikeable and pompous that i'm considering giving the endeavor up. maybe smarter isn't always better.

Awesome. :)

First of all, I feel stoopid. Secondly, this Petunia I could definitely see getting along with Lily, and maybe even the Marauders. Maybe. On second thought... Okay, never mind. On to the next chapter!

That was a GREAT way to end the chapter. 5/5!

Just gotta say, a friend recommend I give this a read, and you got me hooked the second you made a CS reference with the #include. Mega brownie points for you

I can see it

Didn't review the first one, but I was really into the story, so... do I get an excuse? No? Okay, then. Well, love this!

Hi! I 'm your bigggg fan from korea.
Your writing is very popular in our country, too.
It's translate into our language and uploaded in by '송장의간장' .
Even I cannot understand allmost of your article, I am enjoy to read it.
I cannot sure my grammer and spelling is right, I hope that you can understand me.

'...And I suspect, Mr. Potter, that if I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorizing what remains of England."...'

OMG that is hilarious. I died of laughter right there, and it's just the second chapter. *sighs*

I think this Michael dude is the anti-Egon Spengler!

Hey! That gives me an idea! What if the Dursleys were killed the same night the Potters were? And Harry had to be sent to America where Lily's cousin lives. She's a secretary to a group of paranormal investigators & eliminators. Housed in New York.

Cute. Kawaii.

LMAO... oh my god, I can't wait to keep reading. I love McGonagall's response at the end, so true.

Sorry, wrong button.
So I'll continue my review here :,)

Lastly, 3) SOU'RE STILL UPDATING!

So yeah...

On to the next point of my review; do you know what it reminded me of when I read the title and your first AN? Dr Bones. I REALLY love her!

P.S.: I didn't really understood all this single-point-of/primary point of departure thingy... Is this some kind of american expression?

O_O

McGonagall's reasoning for not getting Harry his supplies sounds like a good excuse for any muggle-born student.

Hehehe at Harry's "You'd have to be a god" and especially professor McGonagall's reaction to it.
I approve hugely of Harry's biting teachers in his past: a couple of them in my own childhood and or school years could have done with being (and or have earned the right to be) bitten savagely.
McGonagall's reaction to Harry's biting teachers in his past is very funny.
I wonder if McGonagall perhaps is not a natural seer, having read her prediction of what Harry would get up to if he were to acquire his Hogwarts supplies sooner than two days before the new Hogwarts year is to start.

I'm so glad I found this story!

That last bit form McGonagall was brilliant!;;

This Harry reminds me of Bill Waterson's Calvin. :)

Not bad but not riveting.

oh dear god...a female Hermione by all accounts but all the same rather amusing

Hilarious chapter, "you bite one teacher and they never let it go", very funny.

Humorous.

I like it! It's really funny.

I'm sorry if this offends you, but I feel that this story is practically designed to make those of us with average intelligence feel stupid, and that's how I feel. Please, can you try to avoid that sort of thing because it hurts.

Poor Harry. Must be hurt when you know the Truth but keep getting denied.
About the ending: Oh my god, Harry will do that? That's a total chaos.

O,O

I have to day I love your header file. but where is the main file so i can link them for compilation?

Haha Harry is really cute :)

yay for smart!harry! and good on you for calling out all the physical impossibilities about the animagus

This is Hilarious!

the music I have on right now: Pacific Rim theme!

Words cannot describe the level of epicness in this story.

I almost woke up my neighbors with this one.

hahaha wow a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England this is stupendous

Oh. My. God. This is hilarious. I love it. This is the first story I've read that actually has intellectual dialogue. Love it.

This was hilarious.

That's great. Two months, huh? Haven't laughed like that in a while.

Poor, Harry no one believes him.
I also feel that his uncanny intelligence might have something to do with magic as well ... the irony!

Oh. My god. Harry's sleep condition is like, like, the same as mine O_o

Wow! It's amazing! I love the smart Harry! XD

THIS ISNT OK A STORY SHOULDNT BE ABLE TO MAKE YOU LOVE IT THIS MUCH IN TWO CHAPTERS NO IT JUST IS NOT OK

It's brilliant! Why the hell didn't I check this out before? Great idea, really funny, wondering where this will go... Sorta reminds me of a young Sheldon Cooper from Big Bang Theory.

...this is... Amusing. Hahahaha xD

Hahahaha! Love it!

Oh, how cute! Harry is even smarter than I was as a child. And that is saying something. Very funny.

This is hands down the best HP fanfiction I have ever read, and top 5 in the best things I have ever read, period. I am putting a copy of the epub on some popular ebook downloading sites and will update accordingly. Also I have made an epub copy that contains the Author's Notes, on epub bud if anyone is interested. Does anyone have the Notes from the very early chapters (pre-Ch 12?)

A promising chapter. Hope the rest is as good :)

I can give several defenses for anamagi but on my smartphone? No too complex

Menarik(in Indonesian)-[Interesting]

i really like the idea of a non broken family, but I got troubles to see a 11 year old muggel boy to know about algorithms in 3rd grade...

hope Snape is making his life a hell, cos I really am not sympathetic to this Harry Potter ;)

and another thing: JKRs Potter is good at lots of magical things, cos no one ever told him that things aren't possible. your Harry has a whole muggel knowledge, preventing him from making the impossible possible.

let's see how this logic number is going on

I guffawed a little at some of the punchlines. It wasn't anything that dramatic, but that your writing is relatable enough to garner such a reaction is a good indication for the things to come (as far as my selfish desires for a non-boring HP fan fic go...)

Funny. Kinda overdone, but still funny. Reminds of Big Bang Theory.

-rolls on floor laughing- I'd never questioned what happened to an Animagus' mind when they transformed, but /dang/. McGonagall's a god..! -tries to smother another laugh- You're a genius, dear author 3

...And then the biting- Ahaha, you're wonderful xD

Huh...my fiancee had a similar notion about me when I asked him what would happen if I had magic.

Except...his theory was between "pigs would finally learn how to fly" or "We'd skip WW3 and head to WW4 because of you".

That latter one didn't make sense, but it was my fiancee - he tends not to make sense when half asleep and I asked him that question around 3:30AM - I have the same problem as Harry, except my clock is about 26-8 hours. Well, I think. I

I slept at 6 earlier, it's 10, and I've been awake for 3 hours.

I'm in a lecture, and I have coffee at my side along with my lap top.

...this isn't gonna go well for me.

Vamp

Funny!

That quote at the top about responsibility is from after the troll incident! How are the two chapters even connected? How far ahead did you plan all this?

Also, I love the fullmetal alchemist references you made at some point in a later chapter.

This story is better than a great many published novels I have read. Warner bros would be morons if they never tried to make a trilogy out of this considering they technically own the rights already.

I've been trying my best to get people to read this but everyone is stubborn and most remain unable to take any fanfic seriously )

Fantastic story so far, just read the first 2 chapters and I was very pleased to get to the bottom of the page and find out that there are no less than 101 chapters which I look forward to reading.

I laughed and kept on re-reading the final paragraphs. Beautiful!

I fear she is quite right!

And the media blaming Russia for it.

One of my major concerns about starting this is that I wonder if there's going to be an actual plot or if it's just going to be Harry studying magic, and studying studying magic, from the point of view of someone at the very high end of various scientific fields.

Basically, a lot of scenes like where McGonagall turned into a cat and Harry flipped and started ranting about how that shouldn't be possible.

However, after "flaming zebras" I think I'll be able to deal with it if it is.

And since I'm reviewing I might as well ask if there was a point to him... being awake for 18 hours after sleeping 8 hours and not being able to break from this? Is it simply a set up for sleeping potions working?
I also called Ms. Fig hearing Harry calling out for an owl and arranging for it to be sent. not that that's an accomplishment or anything.
And why did Harry not exhibit any accidental magic? You'd think he'd have accidentally turned his teacher into a radish instead of biting her, or similar to his father if he frustrates him that much.
Or is his knowledge of all this stuff a result of magic turning his brain into well...Hermione's x12?

Okay I'm done.

Makokam out.

FLAMIG ZEBRAS FTW!

Is the two hour sleep condition real?

I didn't like the present tense start to Chapter 1 which reads like a text adventure: You are in a room. There is a table. On the table is a letter.

I didn't like the end where a voice says, "what." I assume that's Harry but my mind expects an exclamation mark or a question mark. Just saying 'what,' sounds odd.

But the main story in-between was nicely written and comfortable to read having strangely switched to normal past tense so it began to sound okay and quite involving.

This continued into Chapter 2 where the only oddity was the 'disappearance into a void' of Harry's parents - most especially, Dad - after McGonagall transforms into a cat. I mean, we don't hear from them again until Dad casually cautions Harry about Hogwarts. We get Harry's shock, but Harry half-believed in the first place, whereas his dad should have blown a fuse at the transformation. Other than that, very good chapter! :)

I

This story is completely ridiculous. Harry is not a child prodigy... nor is he this annoying.

Biting a teacher... Can you imagine how McGonagall or, better yet, Snape would react to that?

I definitely prefer this Harry to the other Harry in the actual books. I was always annoyed at the other Harry, because he came to a new world, he did not seem particularly shocked, and he did not want to learn the magic! I thought it did not seem too right, but this reaction seems more believable. I do not understand much of the science, except the bits about hypotheses because of psychology, but I get enough to carry on. I like it!

Oh my god, the laughter! The dialogue in this story is just fantastic! XD

I love this fan fiction. Best one ever!

Hilarious

Harry Potter, compared to the movie parts seems to be very ingenious in here.

I remember the scene when Professor Snape asks Harry questions from his potions subject, and Harry would reply "I don't know, sir".

Totally different!

But all roads lead to Rome!

Oh, this story is going to be a gut-buster.

My poor wife (not scientifically inclinded other then in self-defence) is listing to me cackle from the other room and probably shaking her head very slowly and sadly.

I've loved science since watching Mr. Green jeans having a guest on the Captain Kangaroo show demonstrate how to freeze flowers with LN2 back in the early 1960's.

I enjoy a good story with a long/involved plot. I'm and literally bouncing in my desk chair thinking about the wonderful time your work is going to give me. Thank you so very much in advance.

Very best regards

Wonderful chapter! I could not stop laughing about Harry biting his teaching because he didn't know logarithms:)
It's so neat to see this type of interaction between muggles and wizards/witches. Great job with McGonagall- I think you hit her character right on the nose!

Magic QUANTUM PHYSICS, BABY!
lovin it

That's a bit of an anticlimax," Harry said. "You'd think there'd be some kind of more dramatic mental event associated with updating on an observation of infinitesimal probability -" Harry stopped himself. Mum, the witch, and even his Dad were giving him that look again. "I mean, with finding out that everything I believe is false."

Seriously, it should have been more dramatic. His brain ought to have been flushing its entire current stock of hypotheses about the universe, none of which allowed this to happen.

very interesting, how theres no a spark or whatever. if there is a global consciousness that human beings have the ability to tap into, whether we use it or not, are these ideas literally only in our brains? idk. that's kool

your a really good writer! thank you for doing this, total HP fan and seriously appreciating the philosophical insight/assesment

Woah... This is genius!

Lol, the last paragraph was funny. Gosh I'm loving this story already. And I love how it mentioned Harry biting this third grade maths teacher!

This is amazing

Haha xD It's okay Harry! I bit a dentist three times :)

lol

*giggles madly at little scientist-type Harry *
Flaming. Zebras. Purple. Smoke. Teehee.
I think I'll be enjoying this fanfiction quite a bit...and I think you had way too much fun writing certain parts of it. Just saying.

official funniest fanfic i have EVER read well done!

Okay, this is pretty freaking funny. I enjoy that biting bit.

The foreshadowing of that quote before the chapter starts... Dear God, the foreshadowing.

"You'd think there'd be some kind of more dramatic mental event associated with updating on an observation of infinitesimal probability -"

Very amusing! This was the chapter that had me hooked.

Very well written. Wonderful premise. Enjoying your writing from the very first chapter; especially the realistic dialog.

Quite funny. Good story so far.

Second Chapter read. Even better.

ok now I understand why this story has so many reviews.

Hahahah, your funny. I look forward to the next chapter.

O! I still can't see the keyboard to well, my eyes are all bleary. God that was funny. Almost p'd myself I was laughing so hard. I could almost see this Harry doing what McGonagall discribed. ;) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

ha ha ha ha ha AWESOME :) great first couple of chapters :)

Oh, I laughed SO HARD when I was reading this.

"a plague of flaming zebras" HA.

Good one. I shall continue reading with interest.

Usually I don't comment on the first couple chapters, but wow, this is awesome!

This whole scene is well written, clever and funny.

I have to thank you for causing me to actually laugh out loud and causing my roommate to look at me like I was loosing my mind. :)

I love the part where Harry reacts to McGonagall turning into a cat

You must be a genius because this is bloody brilliant! I can honestly say that I've never read a single fanfic as unique as this, they simply weren't out there, and you've addressed real life problems in a children's book that has never had to uphold itself outside of a magical world. At least a magical world where any "muggle" laws apply. The work of a genius... I wonder what would happen if Harry met Artemis Fowl :)

Wow, I'm enjoying this story already, love the humor.

I love this story already. It refreshing for Harry to be raised in a somewhat stable environment with a supportive family. Your portrayal of Petunia was interesting and had me in tears when she had to leave the room to laugh in the backyard. Off to the next chapter ...

This is bloody BRILLIANT.

*laugh*
I know kind of how you feel harry. Rereading the books after science class is torture. (excuse the spelling please)

Holy...I just felt my mind melt and got reactivated. This is awesome! 'You can't learn anything reading fanfiction.' Take that world!

Oh god that was hilarious! I was laughing like a loon for five whole minutes by the time the chapter ended!

I just read the latest chapter (#90) and I started rereading this fan fic for the sheer pleasure of reading your works. I rarely reread many stories, yet this is the third time I am doing so. Amazing...

You have a way to make a fortune if you needed to do so. I swear that people would actually pay you to put this story in print and then BUY the print copies from you...even if you still left all of the exact same text online for free. Not many other people can say that they have an easy way to make money. Once again, amazing...

Re-reading from the beginning while I wait for my code to compile... And, I hadn't realized that the statements at the top of the pages are previews of the future; I thought it was just you being funny. Now I'm back to being horrified that Hermione is dead and Harry is evil...
Thanks again for the update. Catch you friday, LO

I love this so much. It's only chapter two, and it's amazing.

I just wanted to say. You sir/madam, have by far my favorite sassy disclaimer in this chapter, I laughed legitimately out loud. I just want to say thank you for existing

I'm already very much enjoying your fic, but I feel I must tell you it has high expectations (which so far it is living up to). It was highly recommended by PotterCast at LeakyCon 2013 Closing Ceremonies.

The reasons for the delayed shopping trip are priceless! Talk about a precocious kid! He's putting canon Hermione to shame.

So different, but with consistencies. Professor McGonagall spoke in her own voice, of course. Things develop in a different manner, but Harry will still be going to Hogwarts. I can hardly wait.

Harry isn't he backward kid we know and love, he is CRAZY. lol

an interesting first chapter... lets see how this pans out...

"Rest assured, Mr. Potter," replied Professor McGonagall, "Hogwarts is quite capable of teaching the basics. And I suspect, Mr. Potter, that if I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England."
OMG! Oh oh oh oh oh - I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! OH! What remains of England! Oh!

LOL - I don't think the results of Harry experimenting / Reading the books would have been that bad! Although I recon Surry would have been a right off! LOL

So far I like what I have read.

This is HYSTERICAL! Great job so far.

An interestimg concept for a Harry Potter fic, so far it is well written with nothing that stands out in a bad way. I look forwards to reading the next chapters.

I love the humor in this chapter.

Omg this is turning better and better! Im actually studying science and its soooo funny! XD Im like laughing all the timeee XD

I believe that everything in the Harry Potter universe is logically possible, and it is logical to try and justify it scientifically. Have you ever reads Popper's thesis paper on falsifiability? You see, almost all theories we have about the universe are incorrect in one certain way or another and sometimes it takes a whole revision of a theory in order to update it and make it more "correct".

Example: Back in the day people noticed Uranus didn't orbit the solar system in accordance to Newtonian physics.
O-kay, there must be another planet around it that affects its orbit.
-There was, Neptune. But then people observed that Mercury didn't orbit around the sun as newtonian physics says it would.
- Maybe there's another planet around it, scientists called this theoretical planet "Vulcan". There isn't a planet vulcan, Mercury didn't follow Newtonian physics.
-Then Einstein came around with his new theories of physics that explained everything that newtonian physics did as well as the quirks that were incorrect with it. Newtonian physics were just wrong, Einstein's theory was more correct. It explained all of the planet orbits and even the quirky ones like Mercury.

So in the end maybe our knowledge of physics is completely incorrect and the existence of magic can be used to revise or create a totally new theory on the laws of nature. What do wizard physicists state about the nature of magic? What forces or postulates do they have about magic that makes it behave in the way it does?

This is good. Like I don't know what else to say, Especially the bit about biting teachers.
Fave quotes: the one about the cat violating conservation of energy and the last one about leaving Harry alone with his books. Priceless.

Mother of- was that a Pigfarts joke? Mars. You rotter. I love this. Thank you.

plague of flaming- yeah 1 reader.

ok, so Minerva's the headmistress, am I missing something? when does Albus come in? is he portrayed in this thing as a teacher or a guidance counsular? and what about Hagrid? I know this is merely a fan fic and so far a really good one, but it's idk how to put it. ahh... strange. I mean albus and Hagrid both always seem to play an important part in Harry's wizarding life... will it not be the case here? I hope so. well on to ch.3

Ok, this is making me laugh. Two criticisms worth noting, though.

First, as a simple fact of biology a child's brain is not an adult's brain. In the same way McGonagall's animagus state should prevent her from thinking as a human, Harry's youth should prevent him from thinking as an adult. Of course one of the chief indicators of immature thought processes is an egocentric perspective, so Harry's inability to note his own hypocrisy on that matter is entirely reasonable. I'm not sure what I'm criticizing anymore, but I have a sinus thing screwing up my brain so MOVING ON.

Second, there are some early warning signs that this family is less scientifically minded than it is...I'm not sure there's a word for it. A perspective that believes itself to be scientific but is more inclined to play lip service to the concepts of science in order to assault the beliefs of others. That would be a very bad perspective to have.

hahaha! You mix reason and humor so well. Lovely.

You get my Favorite just for the flaming zebras!

Guest: My review got cut off for being too long, here is the rest of it:

An example of differing minds and differing efforts:

I didn't put forth any effort in school, but I was the smartest in every class I ever took. I read books during math class, then proceeded to teach other students who had paid very close attention how to do the math differently because no matter how they tried, they couldn't pick up what the teacher taught. I only watched the example once, and ignored the teacher the rest of the class. I didn't try at all, but I was ahead of even the other smart people (those in the mentally gifted program) who did try at least somewhat. I didn't get as good grades, but that was because I was lazy, and the only schoolwork I did was my tests. No homework, no classwork, and no projects. I knew I could get 100 on every test with ease, and that would get me at least a C, usually a B, so I didn't care. Especially since the teachers told us at the beginning of the year what percentage our grades were made up by. So whenever a teacher did make tests not enough to pass, I'd calculate how much other work I actually had to do, do that, and then go back to doing nothing but tests. It never failed.

I didn't meet someone smarter than I was until I was 25. I knew they existed, but I hadn't met any. I'd met people with more *knowledge* than me in certain subjects, but not more intelligence until that point. And that is still only one person. There are undoubtedly more, but the point is that they are few and far between. I have an unfair advantage, but that's life. Life isn't fair. Not everyone can be what they want to be if they work hard enough, and there will always be others who can do the same or better with less effort. Why? Because *the universe doesn't care* that's why. It isn't fair, or good, or evil. The universe just is. So some people will always be born with more innate talent than others, due to slight differences in our genetic code. So believing that everyone can achieve greatness is just the new-age happy feet bullshit that society believes is polite, and tries to push on everyone in the name of "equality". Their mistake is this:

Equality isn't about everyone having equal ability, but rather equal chance to hone their ability (whatever ability they have) and make use of it without being held back due to prejudices, or petty disputes. If you are passed over for something, (like a job) it should be because of talent or skill, not color, creed, race, sexuality, or some other random detail unless it directly affects what the employer is trying to accomplish. *That* is equality. Not just saying that everyone is equal, and that you can be whatever you want if you try. Those are just nice words. It is really refusing to see reality as it is. It's delusional. It's good to tell children, so that they don't get discouraged the first time they fail, or when they are told they aren't good enough and so they learn to persevere until they accomplish their goals, but there comes a time when you have to grow up, and realize that it was useful then, but not now. Because not everyone can be Michael Jordan, even if they practice more than he ever did.

There's just something about a smart Harry. I always knew he had it in him.. of course who his parents are certainly helps.

"A choked laugh escaped Professor McGonagall, as if extracted from her by tweezers." LOL!
I love Harry's way of speaking. It's just entirely too funny. And biting the math teacher for not knowing what a logarithm was? Bad Harry! I didn't even know what one was till seventh grade!
"If I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England." HOW DO YOU THINK OF THESE THINGS!? I died!

Loved this chapter, especially Harry's reactions to the magic, biting his teacher, and McGonagall's line at the end.

"...implied by the form of the quantum Hamiltonian"

I read that, and had to pause for a moment as my brain frantically scrambled away from dealing with what that meant, and horrible memories of someone improperly teaching what a Hamiltonian was by using the Schrödinger equation. So, I don't think I'm going to have to wait until chapter 5 to continue reading this, at all (Hermione and Harry are going to get along *so* well in this aren't they?).

I'm liking the points of divergence that I've noticed already in relation to Petunia and Lily. Harry's uncle is also a nice change from Vernon in that he isn't cruel, but perhaps just as unable to relate to Harry on an emotional level (or perhaps maybe Vernon related to Harry *only* on an emotional level...?).

Anyway, great story so far, and I can't wait to see how it turns out.

So awesome! I love this to bits! :D

Oh my goodness! I believe this chapter is well deserving of a true LOL. I couldn't stop laughing!
The thought of an eleven year old speaking like this is extraordinary, but it would be amazing to meet someone like this. I would not be able to understand anything that they were saying, but one could learn so much!

I cannot wait to read more.. off I go!
-Cor-

This story has just made my life... OH MY GOODNESH! :3

"Excuse me," said Petunia, and fled through the backdoor into the garden, from which her screams of laughter were clearly audible.

*cackles with laughter*

I thought that this was a hilarious chapter. I love how Harry tries to rationalize McGonagall's Animagnus ability to change into a cat. I will continue to read this and follow along as Harry learns magic.

I don't know much about math or science, so the stuff about physics was confusing. Anyway, it's interesting to see how different Harry is because of the changes to his environment. It's like he's a different person.

you really, really have to explain why you had them keep the evans name.

Also a fun chapter, but I'm finding these short. I like them, I love the portrayal of young Mr. Potter ...L-V as an extremely intelligent young man, and like imagining that the mention of so many aspects of physics and derived assumptions about the universe, matter, and what constitutes a person in essence are specifically mentioned and successively checked off as negated by magical demonstrations and not True.

So I just finished reading this chapter and I must say I love this. This is most likely the best fan fiction I have ever read and it's just so well done. And I read the part about giving up on this if you don't like it after chapter 10, well, I already love. Great work!

I donb't know why people think this don't belive this doesn't pick up until about ch 5. This is flipping hilarious at point; on par with A Black Comedy at points, but then agian this may be early days.

Great chappie!

Another good chapter. I am curious to find out what this sleep cycle thing is. I am already having to fight against my brain saying that Prof. McGonagall wouldn't act certain ways, let alone Harry, but I must say I actually like the somewhat less stern Professor (though stern when the time came). Looking forward to reading more, though I will warn you that I might not review every chapter if they are all this short because I will be shotgunning through a lot of them at once.

OMG. The end of this chapter had me laughing like a loon. Probably one of the funniest things I've read in months.

I'm not going to keep turning back to fill in the forgotten comment. I'm too old for that. If the ending wasn't so exciting I woudn't rush to press the NEXT- hyperlink so precipitously.

You're a hilarious human being. :D

(Assuming you're a human being and not part goblin, for example.)

wow, you have a HELL LOT OF REVIEWS!

This story might be the death of me...well done.

Can't...stop...laughing...Oh geez Harry why are you so funny?

I'm hooked, it's only chapter two.

*smile* the right mix of humour and plot forwarding

shortness of chapter invites/ensures reading of ch. 3

McGonagall's last paragraph knocked me off my seat!

Fascinating! This is quite enjoyable. Harry's practicality does not disappoint, and I love the fact that he bit his math teacher when he was younger. It keeps him rooted as a kid despite his intelligence and practicality.

In some ways, he reminds me of me as a boy ... but he has a much more level head than I did and a better grasp of physics.

hilarious xD

You turned into a cat! A SMALL cat! You violated Conservation of Energy! That's not just an arbitrary rule, it's implied by the form of the quantum Hamiltonian! Rejecting it destroys unitarity and then you get FTL signalling! And cats are COMPLICATED! A human mind can't just visualise a whole cat's anatomy and, and all the cat biochemistry, and what about the neurology?

This is the quote that led me to this fic, and it is freaking glorious. I am now hooked.

(rofl)!

"a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England"

You sir, are my new hero!

Favorited!

I love this version of Professor McGonagall, it's her just a bit more awesome

And then a woman turned into a cat.

"Oh, oh and THERE'S the GG!"
"Wonderful play by M&MWitch. Absolutely brilliant."
"Yes HJPEV was doing exceptionally well in the early and mid game but utterly crushed in the end game."
"I personally can't wait to see them battle again."
"Now we come to our next match between TLO and WhiteRa..."

Ok, so now I'm weepy. Ms Rowling, writing for children, leaves out vast amounts of detail that her characters will learn bit by bit through all the chapters and books. You (pl? sing?) writing for adults - ah. well, sort of? - do not play down the tough parts but rather hit hard on the tender parts. If this keeps up, I'll have to read very slowly and it is so good and so rich I want to go thru it as fast as I did the originals :)

This is a new computer and I'm not yet familiar with the [expletive] keyboard so it's tricky to talk to you, but let it be said it would be easier if I weren't laughing so hard. . . .

Cute

This story is amazing! I love the way Harry talks and his intelligence. The fact that you changed his familly life was well done to.
This story is hilarious and I've been laughing so much my ribs hurt.
Thanks for writing and posting.

Flaming Zebras...
I can only think their weapon of chose will be "Combustible Lemons"

Great chapter. I already love your version of Harry. McGonnagal's prediction at the end was priceless and accurate.

"I am a conscientious objector to child conscription, on grounds that I should not have to suffer for a disintegrating school system's failure to provide teachers or study materials of even minimally adequate quality."

This sentence is.. mind-boggling. I certainly will expand my vocabulary. I mean, reading the HP books in english is no challenge at all, the language is very easy. But this? Umph. On the bright side, even if it takes a bit longer for me to understand everything, it's still so funny that it doesn't get frustrating.

I can't stop laughing. Plague of flaming zebras...

This is just laugh out loud funny! I can't wait to read the next 85 chapters!
Also, I'm thinking timeturners, mayby?

ROFL Harry's humor is EPIC I will love this story FOREVAH

"I'll find a solution in time"
Re-reading this story, I find that pun horribly hilarious.

Brilliant and hillarious. love this chapter!

Man, I haven't laughed as hard as I did at the last part of this chapter in over two weeks. Even my roommates started asking me why I'm laughing so hard for. :))

I read the last few paragraphs of this chapter aloud to my husband and son, and had both of them howling with laughter.

Okay... I was recommended to this story by a friend. I started reading and was immediately drawn in. Your writing style is extremely clear and concise. I'm actually having trouble not bursting into laughter at your wit. I wanted to let you know how awesome the story is before I go thank my friend. That "next" button is looking very tempting right now. Please continue writing... not even just this story.

When she turned into a cat I was just thinking that harry was talking like Joel from roosterteeth about dyy

This seems rather light hearted, it's supposed to get darker though yes?

If this story continues like that, it'll be the best fanfiction I've ever read!

Getting even better...

Seems to be moving along well, interested to see where we end up.

Oh Merlin... Harry sounds a bit like Artemis Fowl... a more childish Artemis Fowl... and I love it :D

Okay. I would say that this caught my attention. I will continue reading.

i am reading this story again for the second time. last time was a while back. and i still cant help but lol at these chapters.

HOLY CRAP

xD I stumbled upon this story outside of the website. Apparently based on your review count alone, I could deduce this will be one hell of a fun time reading this. :D Harry is... lol. He's very funny. At this first chapter, I'm betting he and Hermione are gonna be going head to head.

ONWARDS!

I snorted tea through my knows, I did NOT appreciate that, if the entiore story is gonna be like that I will refrain from eating and drinking till I am finished reading it.

OHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! *falls of chair*

This was an amazing chapter! I love Harry's reaction to McGonagall's Transfiguration.

"And I suspect, Mr. Potter, that if I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England." Best line ever. I just about died.

Oh, that is beautiful.

THEY AGREED WITH HER!

*snickers madly*

This was quite possibly the most ridiculous and hilarious thing I've ever read.

LOVE this.

Like it .like it .love it.

I have to say, even though you did mention that it only picked up at around ch. 5 this story is, so far, brilliant, and exactly what i have been looking for, not to mention so many correlations I have found (broken sleeping cycle...yeah :p) also currently studying computer science and someone who loves to understand, i am really enjoying the intelligence level of this story, thank you for what i am sure will be a marvelous piece of writing, and i look forward to reading much, much more
Kim

Great chapter

I'm loving this. I adore the way that Harry talks! How do you find all these names? O_O

I think Harry's father wasn't as shocked as he should have been. Actually, he should have been more shocked than Harry. I think you should mention how his father settled with the thought that Harry's mother was telling the truth.

Wow. I don't review this early, I only review in the end, but when I started Chapter 1, I was hooked! Now I'll continue and read. I now know why this is so popular. They even have a Sims version of this in YouTube!

"Fine, I won't bite anyone who doesn't bite me first"

After saying that you have to have a werewolf teacher.

"I'll find a solution in time"

Was this a very bad pun or was it completely unintentional?

I wouldn't say that appearing to turn into a cat would necessarily violate the law of the conservation of mass. It would most likely have to violate some laws of physics but not necessarily that one. The mass could be teleported somewhere temporarily and the rest made to look like a cat. Has anyone ever dissected an Animagus?

This. Is. Really. Good. I know you get a lot of reviews, but I just wanted to say that I really enjoy this story :)

When Minerva says is that sufficient, and Harry says probably not but at least it will help, he should have said not sufficient, but necessary.

This story seems to be the funniest fanfiction I ever read. And that will mean a lot, because I read a lot of fanfictions in my life.
I really like your story. The idea is great and it's well written too.

Thank you very much. :)

Hmm, is anyone else thinking that the rest of her body- you know, the bits that don't get turned into a cat- could have expelled in some way? It doesn't seem as if there was a release of heat or light or even a sonic boom, so it would have to be gaseous particles... Then again, no breeze either. Do Animagi even still have a magical core when in animal form? They must, because Muggles don't transform into animals and if they had no power, they'd be stuck in an animal form forever...

Unless the remaining matter transformed into magical energy? That would mean that she would be much more magically powerful as a cat, though, and that doesn't make much sense.

Gah, my brain hurts now. Perhaps I should just leave it as McGonagall did, by saying that it's simply 'magic'? ... No, that's not going to happen. Note to self, must find advanced Physics textbooks at earliest opportunity.

Funny, funny stuff. And the science is perfectly legit and relevant, I never thought of it that way. It's like combination Harry Potter-Artemis Fowl-Garfield Comic.

BRILLIANT, I love this story already.

Yet again, I am in love with your characters and sens of humor. I like the idea of a hero coming from a functional family.

Oh, goodness! I really wish I didn't have to go to work right now. This is hilarious! I'll be back, I promise!

I am intrigued! It is the really interesting beginning) I like this Harry :3

Harry is an odd child. I suppose oddness should be expected for an Everyman in a rational treatise. After all, people rarely ACT rationally. I suppose a lucky few may be born with the ability (or disability) to ignore ethical information signals and only act based on logic. Perhaps Harry, as a child, found it effectual to bite when frustrated. His preteen assertion that biting is legitimate if first bitten by another does seem like the wisdom of an eleven-year-old boy.

Okay, since you've had Brit pickers helping you out, I expect you'll accept nitpickers, too. Case in point: since when did Harry see MY father levitated? Or was I, the reader, not the target of the "your" in his thoughts about the levitation episode? Perhaps he was becoming Everyman, and so the text switched mid-sentence to the common "you" - just to be inclusive. ;)

The anti-climactic reaction of Harry is par for the course. We readers wouldn't experience his shock, even if he had felt it. We already know that magic exists in the HP universe. Poor Harry. Little does he know, he's just the pawn of an author of fiction in a universe of quanta of information strung together to convey meaning to readers. Had he known, he would have spent much more effort to marvel at the probability that words created him, a concept who exists beyond the screen, the page, the interwebz.

What professor McGonagall violated was the Law of Conservation of Mass, not Energy

Love that last bit of dialogue from mcgonogal!

Amazing! I don't understand a single word of the complex sciency stuff but that makes it even better. :D

It's perfect, been sititng in my favs for a while, this will be a good adventure.

I laughed so much when I read this chapter

"I am a conscientious objector to child conscription, on grounds that I should not have to suffer for a disintegrating school system's failure to provide teachers or study materials of even minimally adequate quality"
the purpose of schools is of course learning to socialise with people who are stupid, mean and one learn inspite of them

Wow, this is the first time I've written a review like this! I must say that the chapters are fairly short, but that's not bad. I've heard so many good things about this. It's the #1 most reviewed thing on the website! It's certainly better than "My Immortal". The story looks good so far.

Amazing, love you're writing style, the plot, everything. You know you're fanfic made it in the newspaper here in Malaysia? It's number two in the top ten fanfictions in the Niexter section of the NewStraitsTimes. Congrats!
niexter -that's their facebook page.

So funny. Professor McGonagall owned that whole scene. Awesome. Completely awesome. And her last line... priceless.

"You turned into a cat! A SMALL cat! You violated Conservation of Energy!

LOL.

"...I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorising what remains of England."
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.

OMG! Just discovered this! I love this, I'm in middle school, learning about physics and stuff, and this really struck a chord with me. I personally thought that the Latin root word of the spell would be in relation to the elements used, and not just four, I'm talking whole periodic table. But really it's kinda malarkey, the spells not your work. I mean if each corresponded to an element it would make sense, but no, it's just mindless memorization, I like this so much.

Laughed so hard at the log part- once my sister needed help on her math homework so I did it all in logs and her teacher told her she had to redo it because OBVIOUSLY she had done it wrong

How does Harry know that McGonigall must visualize a cat's physiology in order to transfigure herself?

this is probably the most frustrating fanfic as i reread some pharagraphs more than once, including using google help to find things i couldn't understand. it took twice time to read, why bother reading it? simply because it's too intriguing to ignore. xD idk if i'm able to read the following chapters, but indeed this fanfic is deserved the hype it's getting.

off to read more!

To JoLuna:

He's basically saying that he strongly objects being required by law to attend school, because in doing so his overall intellectual development and education are forcefully lowered down to the average level of public schools students and teachers.

Harry in this story is some sort of child prodigy/genius/older mind stuck in a body of a child - either way, he likely perceives school as a complete waste of his time, maybe even as a punishment. He's 11 and is quite comfortable with such things as calculus mathematics and many more advanced concepts - for comparison, I know for a fact that 3/4 of my graduating class of high school could not even apply trigonometry properly, and it was like this for pretty much all other subjects too.

I can sympathize with him because before I moved to LA and was forced into that joke of the school system that it has, I actually went to a decent school in a different country, and I have something to compare against. I may not be up to Harry's level, but in my 9th grade I was already past the 12th grade material in at least half of the subjects they offered (and no, I'm not a nerd and did not spend all my time studying, this sort of progress was NORMAL where I used to live, you just learned over time how to study new material quickly and efficiently). Its just sad really, the worst part is that you cannot NOT go to school and just pass the exams, attendance is mandatory or you get a visit from local police to your parents, every day you are forced to get up at 6 to be in time for the bus, and then waste your entire day until 3:30 by sitting in classrooms being either bored to death or suffering from the newest bright ideas of their teachers (I was 17 and in my 12th grade when my current English teacher thought it was a good idea to make a class play and dress the students up as fast food menu offerings, I shit you not. And it was REQUIRED as part of the passing grade to participate. And no, this wasnt made as a joke, it was a serious attempt to teach local latino kids about healthy food practices. Not that anyone cared).

This sort of system is destructive because it caters to average or lower end of the spectrum, you stick someone who's ahead of the curve in it and by the time they spend 4 years doing this every day they are very likely to dislike anything to do with school with a passion or be brought down to the level of the masses. No offense JoLuna, but the fact you could not understand that sentence likely makes you a victim of just such a system.

"I am a conscientious objector to child conscription, on grounds that I should not have to suffer for a disintegrating school system's failure to provide teachers or study materials of even minimally adequate quality."
*blibk blink*
I'm sorry, what?
I laughed quite hard at myself when I read that four times and still couldn't understand a thing. I felt really dumb...
But well, the point is I'm enjoying reading this, even though I feel stupid, sometimes.

Ok, now this is something else. a flaming zebras terrorising a depopulated city? You, my man, crossed the boundaries of awesomeness.

I am beginning to see the alterations the parallel universe has made to the characters...which is perfectly reasonable, of course, seeing as it's a different world. I always wonder things like that...like if Harry had been raised by his actual parents, would he be more arrogant, like his father? But anyway, this Harry seems to be more assertive, and well-informed on the ways of life. I like this version of him, though.

This is very cute. That cat scene makes me laugh a lot. He reacts to the transformation a lot more seriously than is often seen in such magical fiction.

wow, harry must have a lot of brain power...he's like a genius or something...
lol at professor mcgonagall. nice to see her having a sense of humor. but flaming zebras? really? where did that come from?

Okay, this chapter reveals a bit more of the innate immaturity of a young yet savant-ly brilliant child.

Oh, the thousands of years of Science trashed within a simple act of transfiguration...

This chapter never fails to amuse - even though this is my third read and I already know every line...

D
Tree

I have to admit, this is the absolute last place on the internet I expected to find a reference to non 24 hour sleep-wake syndrome. My sleep pattern is exactly the same as your Harry's.

I actually understand some of the terms Harry used! So proud of myself! Can't wait to see what happens when Harry gets to Hogwarts.

Ok this story is hilarious I already love it.

You seem to have gotten a really good sense of your own style of writing while still maintaining that style that J.K. Rowling wrote with. It's really well written. But with that, certain things bother me a bit. It's been said before that you add unnecessary detail, which I'm not going to go into for the exact reason that someone has said it before.

But the other thing is that Harry is eleven years old at this point or close to it. He complains when they talk about him biting his teacher saying that he was seven years old. Not a big gap there and yet he's reached a very heightened level of maturity at that point and has been able to rattle off about FTL signaling and quantum physics and ideas that I can't wrap my head around at the age of 23. In addition to that, this takes place around the time of 1991-1992. These concepts aren't really widespread in schools or tutors just yet. Once you get into higher levels of education they would start discussing it but for someone who's supposed to be in the sixth grade, probably not.

Then again, this is all situational given that you may have placed it in modern times, Harry may be a savant in this, or you may have just wanted to create a different Harry Potter in contrast to J.K. Rowling's and that is one of the methods by which you achieved this. You've technically created a new world within the HP universe, so it's hard to say. But it's something to consider in the future.

I think your POV is a little wobbly, here and probably throughout the story. Each section follows an individual's POV as though it were limited third-person but not quite, and then occasionally steps out, as it were, for a moment of omniscient third-person. I accept that you're telling a story that needs this - apart from neat background asides, you occasionally need to convey things (like a certain squished bug) that limited POV wouldn't convey. Still, it's occasionally quite awkward to read, and could be reminiscent of many amateurs' extremely shaky handling of POV.

The excessive science AuthorTract-ing is another thing I can't quite bring myself to criticize. In the first place, I kinda love it, and in the second place I know it's not really out of character for the Harry of this story.

That this Harry could be derived from the canon creature at all, even with this upbringing, is something I'm not so sure of. I'm sure you've got some brilliant explanation, involving Riddle and Harry's "dark side," but until then I remain unconvinced.

This is probably one of my least favourite chapters of the entire fic. While the first third of it is quite fine, I find much to complain about after the point where McG turns into a cat:

- The entire thing about Harry not bracing his fall properly is weird and unnecessary. ("[...]there was a warning twinge in his shoulder as the weight came down unbraced." - if you know anything about the (martial) arts of falling, you know that you _shouldn't_ brace yourself with your hands anyway. If anything it should say something like "there was a warning twinge in his shoulder as he instinctively tried to break his fall" but why bother with that kind of detail at all?)

- Harry speaks about "FTL signaling". Is it too much of a stretch to just write "faster than light"? I mean, I personally use the abbreviation in informal writing but not in speech.

- Harry's parents don't react at all to McG's cat transfiguration. I would have thought that the professor at least shows some reaction similar to Harry's. But no, the parents are perfectly fine with taking that in stride and then worry about Harry's sleeping habits.

- Speaking of sleeping habits: I was always wondering if this should simply tell the reader that Harry spent more of his life awake than normal kids of the same age, accounting for his incredibly high level of education when compared to other children? (It is still a bit too high for my tastes but I can overlook that. A friend of mine however decided he couldn't continue reading HPMOR at this point because of this.)

- It's fine that Harry apparently get's cranky around "incompetent authorities", but again, it is a weird thing to be mentioned by his parents as a concern and then bursting out laughing at Harry's justification attempts. Come on people, you have Minerva McG standing in your living room having just turned to and from a cat before your own eyes, for all you know your son is having the shock of his life but you still burst out laughing at his expense? You'd think there would be other stuff on your minds. And then going as far as running out of the room to have a good private laugh...

You are brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. This is an amazing story, and I'm honestly glad that I have immediate access to an online dictionary.

He BIT his teacher? XD

'OHMIGOD, SHE TURNED INTO A CAT OAO;;;' xD

Flaming zebras. ... Absolutly terrifying, now you've gone and given me a new phobia. -3-

Two chapters into this story and I already love you! ;) I was hesitant to start reading b/c it looks addicting and isn't finished yet, so I thought I'd just glance over the first chapter... bad idea, I got hooked. Hehehehe. But from what I've read so far, it's totally worth it! Thanks for the awesome story and I'm sure there's still more awesomeness yet to come.

This story has inspired me to think outside of the "box" of society and tradition. Reading this has helped me to overcome my eating disorder, because with the help of rationality I have realized that I don't have to be thin to be a worthy person. Now that I have mostly written over the prejudices I had towards myself, I am working on doing the same regarding other people.

I have also become agnostic upon reading the passages about the brain; it was a long time coming, but I finally stopped telling people that I was a nondenominational Christian.

Something that resounded particularly well was your passage in one of the later chapters about politicians' need to find a scapegoat. I will use that in one of my own stories.I was also happy to read the sequence about truth on Less Wrong; about how things don't need to be so complicated and we can just believe what is, without any frills or stigma involved. I especially liked the part about Josef Stalin, if you remember what I'm talking about.

Thank you for presenting philosophy in an easy-to-swallow, entertaining way.

Amazing anecdotes. Lovely!

I LOVE this story! And this is only chapter two! Full marks for ingenuity, creative thinking and grammar and punctuation. I can see now why this story has so many reviews - it definitely deserves them!

nice

Ouch! My ribs! Oh man, this thing is rare: comedy gold while also making ya think, consider the theories and ideas being brought up and how magic turns it all upside down. I'll definitely be reading further real soon.

Actually, most of the magic words in Harry Potter come from Latin, a very old and respected language. So quit making fun of it!

Question after reading the second chapter: do many others compare magic to religion as they read this? The question never occurred to me while reading Ms. Rowling's first book, although it did come up during casual conversation with acquaintances. Those conversations dealt mainly with the religious community's distaste of the Harry Potter series and their fervent but futile efforts to persuade the general population to boycott the books and movies. Hopefully, this is a significant reason for the series' (both books and movies) success.

Of course, religion offers no proof of the existence of deity, having already covered that contingency by requiring faith - suspension of disbelief. All entertainment, including magic, requires such of its audience to assure enjoyment and the escape from reality that most humans seek in religion and entertainment. One of the biggest differences between magic and religion is that when a skeptic demands proof of religious concepts, the preacher (magician) immediately labels the skeptic as wicked and adulterous (Matthew 12:39 and 16:4).

In Britain, apparently it's okay to question magic as long as one offers even feigned respect to adults, upper classes and authority figures. It's apparently also okay to request proof in the form of a magic act like levitation without suffering opprobrium. This would be similar to requesting of a preacher that she perform a miracle or other sign without fear of suffering through accusations of wickedness and adultery even if one is only eleven years old and pre-pubescent.

One reason this version is much more enjoyable than Ms. Rowling's books is precisely because it highlights the juxtaposition of science and magic, and, by association, religion.

Just a heads-up: The British refer to mathematics as "maths" rather than "math".

The atmosphere in the Verres-Evans household is a breath of fresh air after reading all these stories about a miserable, abused Harry in the Dursley household. Thank you for doing away with what I've always thought was a sore point of canon. I will keep on reading the next chapters!

I wonder if Snape and Harry will hit it off, due to their shared disdain for most of their fellow human's abilities to act intelligently. Now that would be interesting.

Harry is very OOC, obviously, but the different upbringing justifies it and in any case that's what fanfic is about : exploring the possibilities!

"Rest assured, Mr. Potter," replied Professor McGonagall, "Hogwarts is quite capable of teaching the basics. And I suspect, Mr. Potter, that if I leave you alone for two months with your schoolbooks, even without a wand, I will return to this house only to find a crater billowing purple smoke, a depopulated city surrounding it and a plague of flaming zebras terrorizing what remains of England."

Harry's mother and father nodded in perfect unison.

"Mum! Dad!"

Wait...a WHAT? *Insert ROFLMAO*

did you base the biting the teacher thing on a personal experience?

Okay. I laughed a great deal through this one.

Harry's dialogue is still rining false, mostly because of his age. Especially this line: ""I am a conscientious objector to the child draft, on the grounds that I should not have to suffer for a continually disintegrating school system's abject failure to provide teachers or study materials of even minimally adequate quality."

I can imagine a child saying this, not because they thought of it on the spot but because they're puppeting their parents. I laughed anyway, and McGonagall seems to fit right into this scene. She's always excellent.

Oh, oh OH, IT'S A JACKPOT. Such an addictive plot..I can't wait to see Harry in Hogwarts. Wonder if he'll still have his friends in canon. Hermione might like him. Seriously, logarithim at seven? Genii here! Loving it already, wondering why I only found this today.

great. gorgious. I'm a huge hp fan, musician and mathematician and LOVE this [second chapter and the one before, and hope they all will continue in an equal style]! simply wondering why I never came across...

I like this Harry. He's seems a lot like an innocent version of Artemis Fowl, but still I like it. A perfect addition to Hogwarts what with his rationality and all.

I also like how McGonagall was savvy enough to anticipate Harry prereading his textbooks. Which brings to mind, why didn't Hermione wreck her house? Not to sound sexist, but the only reason I can think of is that she's a girl, and less likely to try the first spell she learns off a textbook at home. Still, anyone who suddenly discovers magic should be itching to try out a spell.

Thank god I'm not a wizard...

Not purple, orange. And not zebras, bunny rabbits. Otherwise JK should be taking pointers from you.

McGonagall blinked. "That's the first time I've ever been called that."

I burst out laughing.

Then I read the rest of the chapter, and I almost fell on the floor in laughter.

Awesome job!

This is different, but quite enjoyable. I like it.

This was absolutely hillarious!

Such a happy family!

Did it take you a while to decide how Harry would react? The anti-climax and then the slap up side the head with something he was drastically unprepared for?

I don't remember but, you haven't followed up on anamagi yet have you?

You have said more than once that Harry was "expecting it" is this due to forgotten childhood memories or because of the soul fragment inside of him?

Furthermore, I see no mention of accidental magic. Does this mean he had none? I can't see this Harry dismissing an event like that...but maybe he wasn't fully indoctrinated at that point.

Never read anything quite like this. Love your Harry!

It was funny how Harry wasn't phased when McGonagall levitated his adoptive father, but he flew off the handle when she turned into a cat.

Harry's precocity has the potential to become annoying, but I think that as long as the other characters keep him humble, he'll stay likeable.

Something I've just realized-there are many cases where you refer to characters laughing. This makes sense from a cinematic/realistic perspective of what is actually happening. However, it sometimes leaves me wondering "was I supposed to laugh here?" and seems like a laugh track.

As always, I still love your story. I think next time I'll look for something that you do especially well that isn't obvious.

I have to say, your first few chapters are some of the funniest in the entire story. Some of these lines were pure genius. I hope you include some more appearances by Harry's parents visiting him at Hogwarts over Summer and Easter if Harry doesn't stage a fake Voldemort defeat like Quirell suggested.

After reading the second chapter of MoR I was rather impressed. They way magic and scientific reasoning exploded in Harry's mind made me laugh hysterically. The only question I have is, if Harry's so incredibly intelligent, how come he doesn't know that the incantations spoken are made from latin derivatives? Does he just specialize in Math and Science?

As far as the movement and aesthetics of the first chapter go, it was very similar to JK Rowling's original chapter one, with a few major detail changes that astounded me. I adore the concept of a beautiful Petunia and someone who ISN'T a Dursley. While there are a few mistakes grammar-wise and some sentences are a little clumsy, I found myself intrigued for the next chapter. Reading on!

This chapter delighted me and made me laugh.

But how is it that Harry knows that one would need to visualize a cat's anatomy to transfigure oneself into one? Is the author making a mistake, or giving us a very odd clue? Or is Harry jumping to conclusions? (Surely not *this* Harry!)

You, sir or madam, are a genius. This is brilliant in the most hilarious way!

I really didn't want to like this. More than 400K words and still not finished? Too big of a commitment.

But I started reading it anyway and by the time I got to the end of the second chapter, I was laughing hard enough to inhale my cough drop.

After a near-fatal hilarity-induced choking episode, I find myself hooked.

I blame you for the multitude of tasks which will go undone in the next few days as I devote my life to reading the rest. Damn you, Author.

God. Gaaaaawd. Harry's so cute in a hilarious way! *giggle* This is quite possibly the best AU I've read at this point in time. Good job! I liked it(;

Of course the zebras would be rainbow striped, if your going to break the laws of the universe you don't do it small.

*hysterical laughter* Funniest chapter EVER! I'm already hooked on your story!

just recomended this story to a friend so i am re reading it

those arguments sound very familiar to me

ahh there is the mind shatering(punny no?) magic you were asking for

i alwase assumed the soul was what a person was but im more religious than he is so...

and i loved the last paragraph of this chapter

hmmm... so he is unschooled.

this is quite interesting.

I said in my previous review that I found this take on Harry Potter interesting. I'd like to amend that statement: I think it's brilliant. Especially Harry himself; he's so analytical, and I'm not surprised Petunia and Michael had to leave the room. I was having a hard time not bursting out laughing myself.

"Of course it was my fault. There's no one else here who could be responsible for anything."

Sooooo... it IS a time travel or a tangled universe story, right?

Your disclaimers are hilarious, even though I don't recognize most of the quotes you added JKR to on the upcoming chapters. How come you stopped disclaiming?

In light of something on the WMG page, the "FTL signaling" bit makes me wonder how seriously that detail was meant. That is an innocuous detail that ties far too closely to... that spoilery thing with Pioneer.

Harry's circadian rhythm likewise makes me suspicious. Speculation I picked up from somewhere suggests that canon!Harry may have had the same thing and repressed it, but I'm not sure I buy that, and no point-of-departure I can think of would change that. Grr.

I suspect I'm getting this point also from others' speculation. That line about Harry biting someone who bites him first is such a beautiful call-back hook that I can't imagine you'll pass it up. Especially considering we've got a certain professor with an animagus form suited for biting.

OH. MY. GODS. MY POOR STOMACH! he bit a teacher? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA! OH MY GOODNESS...heh, big crater...

love the reactions and the whole thing with the "huhs" and harry going completely ballistic when McG went amaigus on them.

AHAHAHAHAHHAAA! i think this will actually be quite educational...HOW can a 10 year old be like that already? its...not right. he ought to be riding a bike outside and getting into scrapes and talking about girl cooties (tho that is VERY annoying...) and doing boy-scouty things.

oh well. glad there's someone who's been raised to be smart. just hope he's not a wimp who hates going outside. i abhore those people.