Reviews for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Tate.Terabithia chapter 26 . 3h
The sixth year student used sectumempra, huh... Harry just kept insulting himself and his friends from a paralell universe, he'd be so ashamed of himself...

For a moment... I thought that was THAT diary.

He killed Rita just like that, he's freaking scary.
23rd.nuf chapter 26 . 1/11
Ahem, I mean he crushed her.
Killinq chapter 26 . 4/27/2023
Omg did he just kill Rita Skeeter? hahahaha!
Wolffe3636 chapter 26 . 12/22/2022
AAAAAHHH WHAT THE FUCK?! Quirrell killed Rita Beetle?! That... wow. I thought his stumbling was just another one of his zombie spells (seriously though, what is up with that guy? It's pretty worrying, what's his deal?).
I had to google Roger Bacon, but now I absolutely understand Harry's excitement. I have to wonder whether that diary really is the real thing though, I'd totally trust Quirrell to give Harry a fake and try to manipulate him somehow, Tom Riddle style. Well, I guess I'll see :)
I also want to mention that I absolutely LOVE Mafia-thug Crabbe XD
Guest chapter 26 . 8/21/2022
geranim0enimino671 chapter 26 . 4/16/2022
hell, doing me another lil frighten. umm
Alucard-ships-drarry chapter 26 . 3/25/2022
oh no OK snapes still evil, he's just being real smart about it.
MulticoloredFlame chapter 26 . 3/13/2022
Goddamn. How did one of her beetles even manage to get in there? Wow, this was honestly a really cool chapter (we got to see more about how the magical world works in terms of money and human rights or lack there of for certain people).
James Birdsong chapter 26 . 1/7/2022
Fine chapter.
Red chapter 26 . 10/27/2021
1. Omg do not like this
2. Harry this is textbook evil come on man
you matterrrr chapter 26 . 8/15/2021
I still can't tell if Quirrell is good or not.
Matt chapter 26 . 8/14/2021
It's actually NOT possible for Rita Skeeter to be in Mary's Room with the True Cloak of Invisibility and not be detected; it is not infallible. Dumbledore can detect Harry and company wearing it in Hagrid's hut in CoS by performing a silent Homenum Revelio.
Rabcor chapter 26 . 7/6/2021
Ah well, he didn't lie, Luscius wasn't gonna kill Rita, he was gonna do it himself.
ArkhCthuul chapter 26 . 4/6/2021
This remains one of my to 5 chapters. It contains just the right amount of evilness, smarts, and fun.
guest chapter 26 . 2/23/2021
did... she... die?
Guest chapter 26 . 12/22/2020
Guest chapter 26 . 11/8/2020
O.O Did he kill SKeeteer? Oh tell me she's dead now and we'll never have to deal with her again?
dragun95 chapter 26 . 7/22/2020
It is interesting how many fics Rita dies in her beetle form and mostly by accident, that makes one think how dangerous that form of animagus is.
Chintan chapter 26 . 6/17/2020
That extremely dark hex, by a "sixth" year, bears uncanny resemblance to Sectumsempra from the Half-Blood Prince's Potions Book. But Snape is the current potions master, so he must have recognized the book, right?
NightFyl chapter 26 . 3/21/2020
BrokenFang72 chapter 26 . 2/1/2020
Well this has been pretty ingenious all around. Fred and George’s idea about the marriage. Harry’s idea to keep Draco as a friend and have Fred and George do his work do him. Starting to build a large network there. And even more impressive from Quirrel, keeping Harry on his toes but still getting shocked at what he says or does. And then giving him this book which I thought was from Tom Riddle but apparently not but also killing Rita Skeeter. This game is getting good.
Alyce and Indi chapter 26 . 12/26/2019
Poor Rita. She was just trying to get a scoop.

I thought she was a green beetle? Or am I misremembering?
HeWhoShouldn'tBeNamed chapter 26 . 12/21/2019
26 chapters in and it's be like...2 weeks...I hope time starts passing faster. am enjoying the story tho
Majerus chapter 26 . 7/4/2019
buhbye beetle.
Ginny will be crushed when she is informed that she is not, in fact, betrothed to Harry. It isn't likely to dim her ardor.
Guest chapter 26 . 5/15/2019
Merc chapter 26 . 4/24/2019
Virgen santa! I just agreed with a facist on killing press. In some parallel universe abuelo is being tortured by cenobites, cursing my name. -
HarryPotterFangirl85 chapter 26 . 1/9/2019
And once again I’m questioning whether or not I want to keep reading this. Maybe I would enjoy this more if I actually liked science...
yomunot chapter 26 . 8/21/2018
Gheeeez rip lol
AlenDarkStar chapter 26 . 7/10/2018
Fred and George did it. Amazing.
SilentAttendance chapter 26 . 6/15/2018
Is the "middle-aged man from the twelfth century, dressed in black swathes of cloth" a reference to Roger Bacon? The time period off by a century, but the description matches Bacon's appearance very well.
XlDragonlX chapter 26 . 5/24/2018
RIP Skeeter.
Lacertidae chapter 26 . 5/23/2018
Poor Ginny.
I'm looking forward what will happen to all those characters. Will she be that nice little girl?
I've got a really bad feeling about Quirrell.
I'm not going to be wrong?!
GreenMasks chapter 26 . 2/7/2018
Dat beetle tho, someone was gonna spy, but dae did naut noe de wae
lethalpassion chapter 26 . 12/26/2017
Yuna chapter 26 . 11/8/2017
Eh, did you have to kill Rita Skeeter?
Username to be determined chapter 26 . 11/4/2017
For the first part of this CH, you, have stumbled upon the Words of Chaos, Madness, and Power.
PhaedraZev chapter 26 . 9/22/2017
I don't even know how to react to this chapter. On one hand, someone used sectum sempra. Harry points out his canon-future flaws. Rita's dead. Fake marriages. Real horcruxes. So much derailing from canon at once!
Guest chapter 26 . 8/5/2017
This story is sooo meta! I suppose there is a reason why there is a forum about the canon Harry not being in Ravenclaw.
ack1308 chapter 26 . 4/6/2017
Penguinjava chapter 26 . 12/12/2016
Why, yes, a sixth year student firing an unknown spell at another sixth year student is criminally stupid. I'm so glad you pointed that out!
Anon chapter 26 . 12/2/2016
Fuckin fiendfyre on the fuckin inkwell? Quirrell has some serious anger management issues.
Hipparcos562 chapter 26 . 11/26/2016

Jatok chapter 26 . 11/14/2016
Fuck yeah. Suck it Rita, burn in hell.
razlahan chapter 26 . 10/31/2016
Eek. That last line!
Rambling Drabble chapter 26 . 9/23/2016
Damn. The perfect Slytherin. Every time I read him, I want to meet him. From beginning to end, Professor Quirrell of HPMoR was, is, and always will be my favorite character on this site.
1. Side-note: I'm thinking of looking into speed reading, but I'm a bit hesitant to start. Plus, self-teaching wouldn't be quite as effective as a tutor. Either way, I'll do it eventually. Anything to make me stronger, after all.
Guest chapter 26 . 9/21/2016
Wait, SOMETHING has to be wrong with that diary.
Guest chapter 26 . 9/21/2016
Love4Lovegood chapter 26 . 9/21/2016
Where is the reference to the Order of the Phoenix?
blood-doll-aishiteru chapter 26 . 9/18/2016
Bye bye, Skeeter. For a moment there I thought it might be Riddle's diary, but I guess that wouldn't have made all that much sense.
CharlemagneFF chapter 26 . 8/25/2016
Your Douglas Adams quote made me remember that I forgot to mention how awesome I found your Dune reference. That said, I could have sworn that the gom jabbar was the name of the poison, and not the torture device.
greycat chapter 26 . 8/23/2016
What I came up with, for "How did Fred and George do their prank", was: they somehow hit Rita with a False Memory Charm, implanting memories of her witnessing the Wizengamot session, verifying the seal of Gringott's on the betrothal, and so on. Then she wrote the article, truly believing it had all happened.

The theory that some other reviewers came up with (impersonate Rita, hand in article that Fred and George wrote) is probably easier to perform, though. Maybe. Depends on how the Daily Prophet accepts articles.
MeanBeanDean chapter 26 . 7/20/2016
That's one way of getting rid of a pest. I almost feel bad for her.
Guestamazing chapter 26 . 4/17/2016
OMG! Voldemort-possessed Quirrell SQUISHED Rita Skeeter!? That's harsh! (And literally the only thing I got out of that chapter, it was so horrifying). And I totally thought Quirrell was handing over Tom Riddle's diary, which I guess was your intent, so good job with that!
The Anguished One chapter 26 . 1/29/2016
Poor Rita indeed. Oh well, at least we had some more wonderful scenes with Harry and Quirrell. I'd love to read Bacon's diary, a Muggleborn who rejected Hogwarts to study on his own. Such a brilliant mind, I want to know what he learned, even if he never got very far.
Montara chapter 26 . 1/22/2016
I bet Riddle knew Skeeter was there and killed her without remorse. I wonder why Dumbledore is letting him be so close to Harry?! If he's that powerful, he must have notice who he really is. Or maybe he wants Harry to learn from Riddle in order to defeat him?!

And now Harry accepted a stolen item :
DalstinKyukiMikileyluv chapter 26 . 1/9/2016
Oooh murdering Rita Skeeter!
WatchingTheWatchman chapter 26 . 12/6/2015
Well, so much for Rita Skeeter. Quirrell is terrifying.

Harry needs to take lessons from Hermione in following his conscience; she wouldn't have let Quirrell railroad her like that.

How did the twins do that?
ShadowLDrago chapter 26 . 10/16/2015
Roger Bacon, never heard of him-wait a second, Rita Skeeter was an unregistered Animagus, she could turn into a blue beetle like the one at the end, of, the, chapter. Oh dear.
Idiodabble chapter 26 . 9/25/2015

I just started this series a couple nights and I've been loving it. This version of Harry Potter is far more compelling than the original (one, I remember how I'd always get frustrated at Harry for never speaking up about anything, and two, the fear of becoming a Slytherin Dark Lord actually makes sense for this Harry, but never made sense for the original, and three, snark!) and the story's had a good number of laugh-out-loud moments for me (like Harry and Draco's first meeting).

I'm posting this review of this chapter because I'm confused. I believe we readers are being presented a puzzle (how did Frank and George pull off this prank?) but the trouble is I don't understand the setup. I don't understand why Quirrell and Potter are so confused about Rita's article. And I also don't know what a lot of these words mean, because it's been a long time since I've read the original series and I don't have a good memory for details. So:

Is everyone in the wizarding world familiar enough with the Weasley family to understand the significance of the headline? What is an Imperius curse? What is Wizengamot? What exactly is the seal of Gringotts? And why can't the Wizengamot proceedings or the seal of Gringotts be faked? Quirrel and Potter are reading a newspaper article, why aren't they just assuming that all the words in it are lies and all the photos are photoshopped? Or is photoshop impossible? Or are Quirrel and Potter not trying to figure out how this happened, but rather, how is it that Skeeter believed that this happened enough to write it? And in the latter case, wouldn't there be a million possible ways to convince the journalistically-unethical Skeeter to print this, like, for example, just writing the article yourself and then paying her forty galleons to print it? Or writing a letter to her to print it and faking Malfoy's signature?

I don't understand the setup!
P. P. P chapter 26 . 9/13/2015
Holy shit! Quirrell is plotting to make Harry the next Dark Lord, but it was cool of him to give Harry the diary of Roger Bacon.
Carly chapter 26 . 8/9/2015
You are doing everything you possibly can to set up the crushing betrayal Harry will experience when he finds out what Quirrell is up to.

Also, forgot to add this in another chapter, but eleven year old Harry is already headed in the direction of either making Horcruxes or making another Philosopher's Stone. Wtf.
DogStar13 chapter 26 . 7/13/2015
That beetle is Skeeter, right? No worries, not concerned about her death at all.
kabs chapter 26 . 7/12/2015
this is truly brilliant
n-khotomos chapter 26 . 7/1/2015
Calling the main character of the original series too stupid to live is a rather daring insult.

I mean, we know its true, given how many near death experiences Harry has had.

But still, these are lots of Harry Potter fans you're talking to.
Guest chapter 26 . 5/31/2015
oh. he killed skeeter. wonderful.
Concolor44 chapter 26 . 5/23/2015
I am REALLY enjoying Prof. Quirrell and his banter battles with Harry. There was one, about halfway back up ... let me see ... humph ... well, shoot, I can't find it. No matter.

Also, Harry's conversation with his brain about teleporting. This story just KEEPS a grin on my face.

And starting his own bank. That entire exchange was just GLEEFUL!

"the crushed remains of a beautiful blue beetle" is one of the most satisfying clauses I believe I have ever read. Thanks for that.
PA chapter 26 . 5/19/2015
Roger Bacon. -googles- Ah. Carry on then. Blue Beetle indeed ...
Anonymouse chapter 26 . 3/30/2015
I love how this chapter does a double-subversion of expectations. First we expect that the diary is a horcrux - Tom Riddle's horcrux. Then we are told that, no, it's Roger Bacon's diary. Then, in the last sentence, we realise that it is a horcrux after all - Quirinus Quirrell's horcrux - and iwe were right there in the room watching when he made it/i!
Village-Mystic chapter 26 . 3/22/2015
Interesting and complex.
4everfictional chapter 26 . 3/14/2015
So Slytherin. :)
Berlin chapter 26 . 3/7/2015
Dun dundun dun dundunduuunnnn AND THE SUSPENSE KILLED someone.
jegraves chapter 26 . 2/17/2015
This is just creepy. For all that this version of Harry purports to be superior to the original Harry who blindly allowed Dumbledore to manipulate him (allegedly), we now have him sycophantically repeating after Professor Quirrell? I'm afraid this version of Harry actually seems way more stupid and naive to me - the only real difference is that he has a massive ego.
starluck chapter 26 . 2/12/2015
I've not had words since the first chapter and may I just say, it's my second favourite book of all time
I'm counting HP to be on par with this, mind you.

But if Harry was under Veritaserum, couldn't the Aurors ask if Harry knew of anyone who may be directly associated with the conduction of the prank? Or maybe if he possibly knew of how it was done? Not his theories, although I'm sure that would be utterly terrifying and horrific and hilarious, all at once.

This is perperperfection I flatter thee not /tears and applause
philharmony chapter 26 . 12/30/2014
Whoa. Just whoa. He Killed Rita Skeeter! He killed her! Epic evil laughter must ensue.
GingerHannah chapter 26 . 12/29/2014
I thought it was going to be Riddle's diary making an early appearance.
xikum chapter 26 . 11/30/2014
Woo Hooo! Hopefully, you have totally destroyed Rita Skeeter! Thank you. I have always hated her, and never understood why she wasn't taken out in the books, pr at least get fired, totally discredited, and she & her newspaper sued into oblivion. This is at least, acceptable. Bless you!
N. E. Person chapter 26 . 11/13/2014
*closes eyes* Muggle kittens... Okay. I'm better. :)
Drithligh chapter 26 . 10/15/2014
Hmm... Do I believe that Professor Qiurrel coincidentally and accidentally squashed Rita Skeeter? Not really.
MeiPhantomhive chapter 26 . 9/19/2014
Rita Skeeter, whose quill has punctured many overinflated reputations...
is DEAD.

*does the happy dance*
Talkingbirdguy chapter 26 . 8/15/2014
Yesssssssss that vile evil witch is dead! (I hope)
Very nice chapter :).
Redery chapter 26 . 8/13/2014
He killed her :o that's... Kinda excessive.
thepkrmgc chapter 26 . 8/2/2014
nice job subverting out expectations, anyone who read "chamber of secrets" expected quirrell to give harry tom riddle's diary but im glad that this is not the case. I cant bring myself to mourn skeeter's death though...
L chapter 26 . 8/2/2014
oh my god he fucking killed her!
DamionKenley117 chapter 26 . 7/26/2014
My, what a delicious set up. The diary was a complete surprise until the end, but the lurching into the wall part I would have taken at face value right up until the last paragraph. Kudos, and I love this story.
Guest chapter 26 . 7/24/2014
Can't say I'm surprised. He was clearly evil from day 1.
Feedback chapter 26 . 7/6/2014
You killed reeta, great.
SereHime chapter 26 . 6/25/2014
Uraharaisgod chapter 26 . 6/7/2014
Oh wow...Quirrell was vey serious about enjoying crushing her, very...literal XP
silverrain-shiningsun chapter 26 . 5/17/2014
"Professor Quirrell," said Harry gravely, "all the Muggle-raised students in Hogwarts need a safety lecture in which they are told the things so ridiculously obvious that no wizardborn would ever think to mention them. Don't cast curses if you don't know what they do, if you discover something dangerous don't tell the world about it, don't brew high-level potions without supervision in a bathroom, the reason why there are underage magic laws, all the basics."

Um, yeah that would make sense.
Some guy chapter 26 . 3/29/2014
It was like the man had cast off a pretense of mortality.


It was like the man had cast off ANY pretense of mortality.

Fix this crap Elizer, I expect better of you.
IXAthenaeum chapter 26 . 2/8/2014
Ermagod, I didn't reply to the last few-several chapters 'cause I really /really/ wanted to get to reading the next one, but..

You just killed off Rita! Skeeter!

And the world - or at least, me - cried tears of joy-
Talonis Wolf chapter 26 . 1/27/2014

Although Quirell would have /loved/ to know he was responsible for the demise of that... reporter. That's totally what I was going to say. Actually, it seems like you're implying that he does know...hehehe.

I keep getting swept up by the story, so I might not always post on every chapter... but if there is something worth pointing out, I definitely will, and I'll still /try/ to critique each chapter.

Harry has not two, but /four/ consciences? One for each house? Ouch, that'd suck.
Alexja2013 chapter 26 . 1/24/2014
Oopsies... I guess Lucius didn't kill her after all!
Grizzmon chapter 26 . 1/13/2014
Oh, so he was a wizard, uh?
Dawn Darkling chapter 26 . 12/12/2013
OH SNAP! Did not expect him to kill her.
teardropsandfiresparks chapter 26 . 12/11/2013
Dyrssdytshrdsdhttsdh chapter 26 . 11/24/2013
oh my god... If I hadn't already favorited this, I would be now! I love Quirrel, but at the same time, he is intensely scary; I like your interpretation of him without Voldemort on the back of his head.
DeletedAccount3498 chapter 26 . 11/16/2013
AHAHHAHAHA...I'm laughing my head off here!

For a second I thought Professor Quirrell was possessed by Voldemort or something, or he had some underlying health condition, but I should have known based on his characterization throughout this story, that he was too smart for this sort of thing! Oh how I love the ending! It all serves Rita Skeeter right, and I hope she never returns in this fanfiction!

When I first read about the book, I was 99% sure it was the horcrux Tom Riddle's Diary, but now I'm 99% sure it's not. I have to admit, it shocked me when I discovered that through the writing.
Netchka chapter 26 . 8/1/2013
Skeeter go bye bye.
Anon chapter 26 . 7/3/2013
You killed off Rita Skeeter... I was not expecting that. Also, I can't tell if Quirrell is awesome or scary.
wokanshutaiduo chapter 26 . 6/14/2013
Love your allusion to Harry's Sectumsempra at the beginning of this chapter!
Really curious to find out where you're going to go with all of this... or to read where you have already gone, rather. It's a fascinating story, I can see how you have over 10,000 followers...
Guest chapter 26 . 6/11/2013
Oh! My... is ritta skeeter dead?
Narcissa-Weasly chapter 26 . 6/11/2013
He killed Rita! Quirrell is evil!
astrix chapter 26 . 6/3/2013
i find this fic kinda scary to be honest. it has its funny moments but otherwise its pretty cruel...
i've been reading this on , so is the content different from the fic posted here?
RussianDestruction chapter 26 . 4/26/2013
Your A/Ns are almost as awesome as the story: "Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz J. K. Rowling." That's my second fave. My first fave is, of course, the "all your base" one.
Diary of Roger Bacon! Amazing!
And Quirrell smushing Rita's animagus form? Double cliffie! Double Amazing!
Guest chapter 26 . 4/19/2013
Clever Calvin and Hobbes reference
lastcrazyhorn chapter 26 . 4/5/2013
Nestled up against the wall, where Professor Quirrell had stumbled, glistened the crushed remains of a beautiful blue beetle.

Wyndes chapter 26 . 2/20/2013
The mix of emotional intensity in this chapter is so impressive. The tiny shrieking sound of the screaming metal creates remarkable tension in a scene that also has a fair share of humor, followed by the relief of the pure funny with the newspaper article, followed by the dread and emotional angst of the ending. I was pretty invested in the story by the time I got to this chapter, but it had me gritting my teeth, jumping up and pacing the room, and laughing outloud. It basically ruined my day, since I couldn't possibly stop reading, but it was really fun!
BoxMonster chapter 26 . 2/20/2013
I just created an account to let you know that I caught the Calvin and Hobbes reference in the disclaimer of Chapter 26, and also to favorite this story and tell you that you're amazing.

reader chapter 26 . 2/10/2013
Was this story written for the "1001 anecdotes and studies on human thought processes" challenge?
noticeable: use of the phrase: to ground so up
amusing: internal dialogues of Harry
exciting: suspicious behavior of Prof. Quirrell
awesome: the crushing of one bettle :D
I sincerly hope that this story will be completed by the time I'm at the end
Enei Emmu chapter 26 . 2/3/2013
If you don't mind losing a few sixth-year Slytherins along with them. WHY WAS CANON HARRY NEVER THIS AWESOME? Oh, and Rita Skeeter got stepped on? nice touch.
petalene chapter 26 . 1/28/2013
Wow. Just wow. I suspected Rita spying after it was set up, but wow. That changes everything.
Guest chapter 26 . 1/19/2013
Lol. I got the heat conduction, impossible question right!
BreeDante23 chapter 26 . 1/6/2013
I want to be cheering that Rita is dead, but surprisingly, I feel disappointed in Quirrell. It feels like he somehow lowered himself by committing, what is for all intents and purposes, murder. Interesting...
Tanon chapter 26 . 1/5/2013
"A sixth-year Gryffindor cast a curse at one of my more promising students, a sixth-year Slytherin."
Ha ha.

Ginny was a nice touch as well.
BiblioMatsuri chapter 26 . 1/3/2013
Stumbled, my foot. It's official. Quirrell is the most terrifying known person in the Methods of Rationality verse. (I say "known" because we're still in first year. We, the readers, haven't met most of the people in the verse.)

Also: Yay for Google, and wow.
kitsuneko1976 chapter 26 . 12/27/2012
ahem. DING DONG.

i'm good.

Wow. Love the inner monologue, and the prank is sheer genius. Wonder if this means the crush will die hard now...
janefanatic chapter 26 . 12/20/2012
Ah, so Quirrell was being literal when he said he would enjoy crushing the journalist!
StrangeoneXD chapter 26 . 12/18/2012
Skeeter is interesting, but Quirrel even more so at this rate. You delve more into those that are not normally delved upon
989fox989 chapter 26 . 11/17/2012
Looks like Quirrell finally got the satisfaction of crushing Rita Skeeter.
Tinithor chapter 26 . 11/16/2012
Quirrell killed Rita? Oh no :(
Guest chapter 26 . 9/8/2012
Oh my gosh you monster!
thekiralee chapter 26 . 8/1/2012
Hang on... He didn't did he? He just stepped on Rita Skeeter! Or, it could just be another random blue beetle that ISN'T Rita Skeeter knowing this fic... But still! Poor beetle :
voodooqueen126 chapter 26 . 8/1/2012
Brilliant. One of the father's of the scientific method.
Poetheather1 chapter 26 . 7/29/2012
Oh very well done. Skeeter's gone, the diary of Roger Bacon, important lessons learned, very nice. Good stuff all around. The prank was even brilliant. Well done.
Satirica chapter 26 . 7/16/2012 seems Rita Skeeter got the whole package. I agree with Harry...I don't pity her; she deserves it. Anyway, it surprised me a little to see Ginny pop up. I forgot about her...and Ron too.
Fudgecicles chapter 26 . 7/15/2012
gah! i want to know what the fred and george did! like, the newspaper article!
The Immanent Hope chapter 26 . 7/14/2012
I can't believe you went and killed her. How could you? She was INTERESTING! And you... you... actually had the balls to do it. Kudos to you for the balls.
Guest chapter 26 . 7/11/2012
"Harry was glad he'd been been able to cheer him up."

While two "been" is amusing it brought me right out of the story.
Guest chapter 26 . 7/8/2012
It bugs me (pun not intended) that after this point in the story, Draco never internally or externally mentions the fact that Harry pwned Rita Skeeter like this. Surely he'd count is as evidence that Harry is dangerous, reliably Slytherin, and otherwise impossible to predict.
Guest chapter 26 . 7/2/2012
Nth read-over. It struck me this time around that the last paragraph is rather abrubt. Maybe transition with some sort description of Harry & the professor continuing their conversation, segueing to the food, setting, surroundings, and then...
PinkMusicalCherry chapter 26 . 6/30/2012
I love your Quirrell so much when he's not fainting because of what may be stupid Voldemort on the back of his head, and when he's not crushing people to death, hahaha.
Other than that, I almost developed one of those trademark fictional crushes on him! HAHAHA.
Sheaman chapter 26 . 6/20/2012
I know that this was brought up in the discussion board-frak, I'm fairly certain that I was one of the ones who discussed it-but how on earth did neither of them consider the idea that Skeeter was tricked? Memory Charmed, for instance?
Mahasu chapter 26 . 6/16/2012
Based on the established rules of spellcasting, how in the world is it possible this hex even worked? You have to have at least a vague idea of what a spell does for the words to do anything. Are you saying that just knowing it's a curse is sufficient?

And, yes, I've read the wiki entry and know this is satire based on something that Harry himself did in one of the later Rowling books. I'm just wondering how it's possible in the MoR universe.

Unless the implication is that, since Harry was not originally trying to investigate this phenomena, and we never see his actual experimental method, he got something wrong. I mean, his whole conspiracy mindset is blinding him to one of the biggest rules of science: no one is infallible, so tests must be subject to peer review and repetitions.
Nonny chapter 26 . 6/16/2012
I have a problem with the ending of this chapter. We are obviously supposed to infer that Rita Skeeter was killed in her Animagus form. But this doesn't work because, as has been hammered in our heads: transfiguration is not permanent. She no longer is alive to maintain the magic of the transfiguration, so she should be a human corpse, not a bug one.

And, no, the fact that this is not free transfiguration doesn't help. We know that the reason why animagus transfiguration are safer is that they even more closely retain the original form-everything matches up. That means they would be harder to sustain, not easier.

There's a pretty easy fix, though. Have Quirrell have her stuck to his hands, and slip her into his pocket. The implication is thus that he is maintaining the transfiguration with his own magic, and will dispose of her body later. Or at least imply that one of the spells Quirrell cast was making her stay in animagus form. We need something to imply this is possible, or we have a severe plot hole.
Cherrie-san chapter 26 . 5/15/2012
Hah! Fitting end to the 'Skeeter beetle.' I love it.

I still am having trouble making up my mind on whether Quirrell is Quirrellmort or not. I love the interaction though.
Georgie Porgie chapter 26 . 5/8/2012
/Nestled up against the wall, where Professor Quirrell had stumbled, glistened the crushed remains of a beautiful blue beetle./

*adjust monocle*

And Nothing Of Value Was Lost.
I Read For the Content chapter 26 . 4/16/2012
Holy shit... He just literally crushed Rita? I thought he would have done something else, but it really seems like a case of poetic justice here.
Eshalar chapter 26 . 4/2/2012
Since I'm rereading this anyway, I think I'll post some fridge brilliance in here to rack up that review count.

I just realized why Quirrel only recasted three spells after opening the door for the waitress. The fourth was the Animagus-Detection spell! (You Evil, Evil man, Quirrel!(Evil with a capital E!(And that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool!)))
Atlas2112 chapter 26 . 3/27/2012
Lolz! And I have a good guess as to which little tune Q was humming! Although it would have been much more obvious, if, instead of "Goddbye, Rita Skeeter" he had just said "Be seeing you."


And then he trapped her while fully explaining the evil plot...almost making her a...Prisoner!
braindoll chapter 26 . 3/25/2012
So, I think people have figured it out, and I'm kicking myself for not having seen the clue here. But... there is a problem. This means that Q gave the clue ("was a work of art" is just too huge a clue to us that Q was the wizard behind the prank, and anyway, it would take a true O-man like Q to cast the spells for the prank; and the clue is part of the prank.) So, either Q did not actually want Hermione to be punished; or the author missed something; or we're going to get an essentially post-facto argument about how the clue was part of the twins' idea and so Q either didn't notice that it was a clue (possible, because it really isn't obvious) or couldn't change it without making them suspicious (note that they're the only characters immune to the dictionary attack). I'd bet on the latter.

Anyway, even with a hold over Lucius, it's not going to be easy for Harry to pull this one out of the fire. She's already been voted to Azkaban, and that's technically a punishment imposed by the Wizengamot, not Lucius. Since no matter what Lucius says she's still guilty, as I understand the rules, even Lucius can't simply remand the punishment; and Harry can demand a lot, but he probably couldn't AND wouldn't demand anything to hurt Draco, which is the only tradeoff Lucius won't see as taboo. And Harry really doesn't want anything like wealth or humiliating Lucius personally.

So what Harry has to demand is access to the Malfoy pensieve, in order to recover Hermione's lost memories or otherwise get evidence that her memory's been tampered.

Also, he'd probably better do something to assuage the "Hermione glued my kid to the ceiling" faction of the Wizengamot.
not my real name chapter 26 . 3/21/2012
"Harry's Muggle parents could not authorize it because they were Muggles"

So? How about Hermiones Muggle parents wich go with her to the bank in the second book?
not my real name chapter 26 . 3/21/2012
Whay in Merlins name does Harrys parents (Petunia and her husbend) allow it?

"Harry was not allowed to take money out of his vault without Headmaster Dumbledore or some other school official present, and Professor Quirrell had not been given the vault key."

THEY ARE his tutors, his parents, thats family money, family as in "Harrys Family"... so no Dumbledore or anyone else shoud have acces to it!
Jillian A.K chapter 26 . 3/16/2012
What was Rita thinking while spying as the blue beetle, before Quirrel killed her? Anybody want to do a one-shot?
redrighthand chapter 26 . 3/3/2012
I have, on occasion, laughed harder than I have at this, but it is a truly rare occurrence. The reference to professors Blake and Summers was amusing, Dumbledore's "Thank you Quirinus, your wisdom is now quite evident and I am sorry for disputing it" was wonderfully funny, the Death Note reference literally had me rolling on the nearest horizontal surface with laughter, but the absolute crowning jewel thus far has to be "it was done on a total budget of forty Galleons." "The word awesome is so overused, but that truly inspired awe" I realise that humor is likely not your main intention in writing this, but from my frame of reference, it seems to be the aspect in which you have succeeded most spectacularly.

On a completely irrelevant note; sweet lightning, the magical world won't know what hit it once Harry really gets started. I can't wait to see where this goes from here (so I'm lucky I still have another 50 or so chapters to go through to get caught up). This is brilliant on so many levels. (Incidentally, I'm aware that this kind of review, while potentially enjoyable, is less than helpful, but I'm afraid I haven't managed to pick out anything that seems like it could have been done better, so I'm afraid I can't offer much in the way of proper criticism. Sorry about that.)
The Blind One chapter 26 . 2/28/2012
While this is certainly a good lesson for Harry to learn, I can't escape the feeling that Quirrell knows about the canon incident that a reader is reminded of. Similarly, Harry's "don't brew high-level potions without supervision in a bathroom" is oddly precise for something he plucked out of thin air, especially right on the heels of the Sectumsempra allusion.

The persistent anthropomorphisation of the inkwell likewise makes me suspicious. A screaming object destroyed by seemingly live fire reminds me of a Horcrux (presumably someone else's, since he's destroying it), or it could be a transfigured human. Or a lovely little red herring.

Ha, the last time we heard Quirrell humming was as he walked away from Skeeter...

I am reminded of Moody's later remark about the efficacy of tossing one's target a trapped Knut.

Ah, good old sense of doom. I'd really like to know what's behind that.

I wonder if Ginny's lovesickness truly was staged, in line with everyone else's improved logic. I suppose a young girl's tendency to crush on heroes doesn't fall under Bahl's Stupefaction, though.

"The look of shock on Professor Quirrell's face was a work of art." Literally so, I suspect.

Ha, Quirrell's hyper-reading powers are great! Also, "it was like the man had cast off a pretense of mortality." *snort*

"To actually swap people into alternate universes?" Yeaah, about that...

"Muggles had around the same legal standing as children or kittens." *sigh* Ah wizards, such enlightened people.

I see what you meant about rereading this passage with the knowledge that Skeeter's there (but see below.) Quirrell's Magnificent Bastardry is, well, magnificent.

"If she's smart, she'll flee the country the instant she realizes she's been fooled." I cling to the hope that she did. The ending sentence leaves room for an Exact Words explanation that she wasn't there, just a decoy beetle.

"A peculiar ring you saw on the finger of a man you met only once." That couldn't be an allusion to anything, ohhhh no. Likewise the "something you read twenty years ago in an old scroll," though in that case no specific thing comes to mind. Perhaps the "book from which he gleaned his secret"?

"You could toss this diary in a fireplace and it would emerge unscathed." Just as you could have done a certain canon diary. Only this one's personally meaningful to someone who's rather more useful with regard to the book's survival.

Again with the humming!

The "dizzy spell" is sheer and utter brilliance.

My own inner Ravenclaw is drooling over the idea of such a book.
ColtKit Productions chapter 26 . 2/25/2012
Is it wrong her getting crushed made me happy?
Mavarax chapter 26 . 2/22/2012
I have a feeling that this is a Horcrux. Since at least one Voldemort's other Horcuxes is in space I figure he can be more reckless with them. Although knowing Sane!Voldemort he wouldn't be as reckless with them. unless he could create an unlimited amount of Horcruxes. And there is of course the wonderful idea of creating a Horcrux to possess another person and make a new version of you, or making your enemies into Horcruxes.
Robbie the Phoenix chapter 26 . 2/19/2012
The crushed remains of...

That sound you just heard was my jaw hitting the floor. Did you really just kill Rita Skeeter? I did not see that coming at all, although I'm starting to think I should have.

Also, for some reason I totally expected the book to be Tom Riddle's diary.
iKill chapter 26 . 2/8/2012
Hedgehog, I don't think Skeeter's death was supposed to be fair. Think who killed her. As for creating those rumors, who do you imagine REALLY started them (and faked the evidence, obliviated Fred and George, etc) and why?
Hedgehog chapter 26 . 2/8/2012
Eh, this chapter leaves a bad taste in my mouth. However much I hate Skeeter, death seems exceedingly unfair. What's worse, storywise, it cheapens the whole effort of creating those rumors. :/
Quirrell Scares Me chapter 26 . 1/27/2012
Only in retrospect do I see with what consummate skill Quirrell played everyone in the last two chapters, from Harry to Rita Skeeter to Fred and George. How delightfully evil.
Wesley Mathieu chapter 26 . 12/17/2011
This Chapter confused me... but i do suppose that was the intent.
wtf chapter 26 . 10/31/2011
Quirrel. Took Harry. To a sex hotel.

Whatever you are smoking, I would like some.
Asparagus chapter 26 . 10/15/2011
AR chapter 26 . 9/21/2011
You use irony quite well. I thoroughly enjoy your original HP bashing. funny..

Ended on a dark note...I still can't peg Quirrell. And I still think the boy is a little too naive to trust him the way he does.

It is my second day having found this story and I am still reading it whenever I get a free moment.

You're an amazing writer
madeyemarauder chapter 26 . 8/31/2011
Remains never to rise again? At last!
Megan McAlistair chapter 26 . 8/30/2011
first of all: Ein Körper verharrt im Zustand der Ruhe oder der gleichförmigen Translation, sofern er nicht durch einwirkende Kräfte zur Änderung seines Zustands gezwungen wird.

because I didn't have to google your disclaimer

"All he knew was that it was meant to be directed at an enemy."

who in their right mind would do something like that? maybe a bored royalty, or a friend of a bored royalty... or someone who thought a supposed bored royalty was their friend...

never trust books if you don't know who wrote them

"The inkwell went on screaming and burning in Professor Quirrell's hands, tiny droplets of metal, still on fire, now dripping to the desk, as though the inkwell were crying."

that would make for a wonderful nightmare image, just seeing his hands like that, the drops burning the table a bit, always in short cuts between clips of people dying and dogs barking, maybe some smoke or a child being dragged away, screaming

I love good effects, they make me feel so encouraged

"That didn't used to happen in the ancestral environment"

what do you mean you can imagine something like that? go and clean your cave, or hit someone with a club... you wimp

"Let me guess, the Weasley twins?"

their reputation is so great that it automatically/magically plants itself into the minds of people until they can think of no other suited for the job

"and Muggles had around the same legal standing as children or kittens: they were cute, so if you tortured them in public you could get arrested, but they weren't people."

wizards are stupid and cruel

"Not in the slightest."

because he just believed the people around him when they said she should be taken out of the picture without anyone thinking it through

even if you say you wished a particular jerk would die, you don't mean it

and if you do something that seems "not too bad" the results might be as exaggerated as your previous wishes, because you didn't think things through

people almost never think things through

"or a peculiar ring you saw on the finger of a man you met only once"

or the necklace of that one guy on that wedding you attended...

"glistened the crushed remains of a beautiful blue beetle"

no, just no

I'm beginning to think that Quirrel is posessed after all

how horrible
ironhair chapter 26 . 8/28/2011
so Q let Rita listen to the entire conversation before deciding to kill her?
Fenrir666 chapter 26 . 8/25/2011
Oh, now that was unexpected!
Alaude2019 chapter 26 . 7/17/2011
One thing that I don't really like is how you point out things that Harry does in the actual books and then say they are extremely stupid. Obviously Harry does some stupid things, but I think it's rather annoying to have them all pointed out one by one as though Harry would never do those things (even though his actual character did) since he's basically insulting his canon self, "I do not understand how anything with that small a brain could walk upright," which is rather harsh of you. I don't know, it's a good story and obviously this Harry is very different, but does it really make him smarter/better in your opinion when he insults his canon self? Since all people make stupid mistakes and the important thing is that they learn from them so they won't do them in the future, etc. Plus I thought that in the earlier chapters that Harry said he didn't like when others purposely asked questions, etc to make themselves seem smarter or belittled others to make themselves smarter and that is what you are doing with this Harry versus canon!Harry imo. /rantish since I really do like canon!Harry and in general I hate when people bash others to make themselves seem smarter (although I'm sure everyone does that at some point, but it seems to be becoming a pattern with this Harry).

Also "Let the stupid ones die before they breed" and Harry not even arguing with that statement, wtf. It makes they both seem like eugenicists, quite disgusting. Harry kind of reminds me of an even more unsympathetic evil-ish Dr. Brennan (from Bones) at times.

Anyway, for some positives! I like when you explain the actual studies or experiments since I often have not heard of some of them (being a psych major) that involve more science-like things. I also liked the rumor stuff lol.

I did like when Harry showed some caring, although sad that it managed to go away so soon. And omg did Quirrel seriously kill Rita? He's so evil and Harry trusts him so much, it's like Barty!Mad-eye all over again and Harry fails to see what he is truly like even with his new intelligence (or he is evil and this is actually a dark!Harry fic and perhaps I just failed to notice lol).
EvilDime chapter 26 . 6/23/2011
Evil man. Still can't decide whether it's a different version of Quirrelmort or if this is Quirrel's true character. Huh. I'm not really sad about the beetle, though... And I really thought it was Riddle's diary. Kudos to you.

The start of the chapter with the canon!Harry bashing was fun.

- Dime
zork chapter 26 . 6/13/2011
gecoma, the bit you're looking for is at the end of chapter 26, "Noticing Confusion".
Mezzavia chapter 26 . 6/10/2011
HOW can there be a coincidence such as Quirrel talking about one of the problems with spells that Harry is trying to figure out? ("He knew that was all he knew.") D Mm.. did the spell work because the guy knew its purpose (hurt an enemy), anyways..?

I love the comparison between kittens and muggles D. So accurate.

Quirrel reminds me of Crouch Jr. A lot.

Crushing that beetle when he could obliviate it.. I can't possibly have any more doubts about his character.

Such an interesting chapter x).
Death by manga chapter 26 . 6/6/2011
Wow, and here I thought you were getting sloppy, when in fact, you were getting even better. Not only have you tricked me into at first believing that the diary was in fact Tom Riddle's Diary, then you turned it around and introduced Bacon.

You gonna bring in Morgan Lee Fay as well?
Esreque chapter 26 . 6/5/2011
HAH! Die Skeeter! Well... I'd rather her have not really DIED, maybe just... Maimed... or... y'know, dismembered a little...
Julie chapter 26 . 6/2/2011
Quoting Douglas Adams… Ha! :D
TsukiNoBara chapter 26 . 5/11/2011
So it seems the problem with stories in a magical setting is that an innocuous phrase like "it's just a dizzy spell" will prompt the response of "A dizzy spell? But who would cast a spell to make him dizzy? And why? Is he okay? How could...oh, THAT kind of spell."

Also, nice fake-out with the diary.

Rita's fate, or rather, how it was brought about, concerns me, though. Slytherin or not, I'm currently under the impression that Quirrel is good in this fic. No matter how vile Skeeter is...

But at the same time, this is also assuming that he killed her on purpose. If it was a freak coincidence...

I gotta tell you, I'm REALLY glad I waited to read this until after Finals, because it's already a quarter to one AM, and I don't know how many more chapters I'm gonna have to read before I get to a good stopping point.
wes chapter 26 . 5/4/2011
Dear Less Wrong,

I thank you for introducing me to your website. I have learned a lot from you, rationality, and your writing style. If i could I would "donate" to your cause if it will make you write your chapters faster.

I have actually begun reading out loud for my mother (who sews and listens to various books on tape). She says at least once per chapter that you are such a good writer that you should write for yourself and not in an area without your copywrite.

I don't know how you plan out the future chapters, but I am wondering if you have a page that you update where you keep "cliffhangers" and something else for "book/plot outline" so you can have an outline, remember and create more cliffhangers while simultaneously finishing them up.

I would be glad to watch you write.
Aloril chapter 26 . 5/1/2011
Hint 1: "large metal plate near a fire"

Hint 2: "Legilimized" (from chapter 46)

So Weasley twins found a person who would be willing to legilimize whole story into Rita Skeeters mind and make her think she had seen it all. It's easy to vanish fake betrothal contract when there wasn't one :)

What makes me confused is why doesn't Quirrel think about this and why this isn't more common thing? Maybe only very few people can do it?
SaintNicholas119 chapter 26 . 5/1/2011
This chapter was BRILLIANT. Quirrell was basically describing every stupid thing Harry ever did in the main universe. These references were very funny. I'm really enjoying this story.
ARMH chapter 26 . 2/22/2011
I'm a bit confused about the chronology of these events. Quirrell says the whole thing about crushing her and it is mentioned that he already knew about the article she wrote. It seems, however, that he first found out about the article on the trip with Harry, and he kills her later that trip. When did the seen in Hogwarts between Quirrell and Rita take place?
The Lonely Ant chapter 26 . 2/13/2011
Oh my god, Quirrell killed Rita Skeeter.
GeeJo chapter 26 . 2/12/2011
My personal solution would be to memory charm Rita Skeeter into *believing* she had seen all the evidence. This explains how all of the material was "magically" transformed back after the prank was completed - it never changed in the first place. To everyone but Skeeter, it would appear that she had made the whole thing up for some inexplicable reason.
Zeebs chapter 26 . 2/11/2011
I figured out how they did it. They used Polyjuice potion and pretended to be Rita Skeeter, then fooled the rest of the staff of the newspaper into believing them. That's a *lot* easier.
Snowflake chapter 26 . 1/23/2011
Gave me chills the first time I read it. The effect has not diminished with repetition.
Ngandu the Croc chapter 26 . 1/22/2011
He LITERALLY crushed her!

This Quirrel is badass.

Loving this story.
Tangshou chapter 26 . 1/4/2011
Wonderful chapter.

Nice dig on sectumsempra from cannon. Quirrell showing interest in the prophesy is more evidence that he is Quirrellmort.

Q figured out that it was the Weasleys that did the prank on Rita right when they arrived at Gringotts. I wonder if that was coincidence or if there is some magical residue that he detected. The Great Seal of Gringotts may have been involved in the prank. However, if there was such a residue it seems others would have found it, or will find it. So it's probably just coincidence. Anyway, Dumbledore probably did all the work.

Rita's death makes a great story.
w chapter 26 . 12/29/2010
Good things:

Yes, it's clear Q is going to give Rita a hint about the room.

Nice summary about attitude to Muggles.

Harry had asked if he needed the Headmaster's permission before he could start a bank.

Is Q playing with Rita even before he kills her? And the way he kills her is _very_ well executed.

How nicely Q is executing the standard influence tactics on Harry without him noticing. Why doesn't he notice, though? He should at the very least notice somewhere around 63, where he pauses to think about Q for the first time.
MungoJerry chapter 26 . 12/15/2010

Oh, ye unlikeable Harry, how screwed thou art!
Borror0 chapter 26 . 12/2/2010
"You could toss this diary in a fireplace and it would emerge unscathed. In any case, I await your decision."

There's no reason for it to be naturally immune to fire; so, assuming it is Quirrel who gave it immunity to fire it, the most logical conclusion is that Bacon's diary was made one of Voldemort's Horcrux.
Sanzo chapter 26 . 10/28/2010
There's so much awesomeness in this story I can't even begin to mention all of them. Just wow! _
dilemmalicious chapter 26 . 10/25/2010
Got dragged to this story willy-nilly via Skin Horse. And had thought about commenting, but the deciding factor was the mention of Roopo balls in this chapter. I have the B5 cook book, and have made these. Yum. )
Indigo Ziona chapter 26 . 10/24/2010
He crushed her...

"Professor Quirrell," said Harry gravely, "all the Muggle-raised students in Hogwarts need a safety lecture in which they are told the things so ridiculously obvious that no wizardborn would ever think to mention them. Don't cast curses if you don't know what they do, if you discover something dangerous don't tell the world about it, don't brew high-level potions without supervision in a bathroom, the reason why there are underage magic laws, all the basics."

... Oh, yes. In the Sectumsempra incident, I have to admit I really thought Harry got off lightly. I wondered, reading it, if deep down, he thought so too.

"What is it?" breathed Harry.

"A diary," said Professor Quirrell.


"That of a famous person." Professor Quirrell was smiling broadly.

Oh... God...

"You could toss this diary in a fireplace and it would emerge unscathed."

Except for the words “ one book to rule them all, one book to find them...”

"Oh, come on, said Ravenclaw, you can't seriously ask us to say no and spend the rest of our life wondering what it was."

You read The Magician's Nephew? (C.S. Lewis's answer to this dilemma... yes, you can spend the rest of your life wondering what it was)

I'm embarrassed to say I know nothing of Roger Bacon. But I will try to learn from now on :)
loserthree chapter 26 . 10/24/2010
Chapter 26

Quirrell is EVIL.

He carefully crafting a plan in and by which he trapped Rita. And then he KILLED HER. It's not okay just because she's somehow not a good person. That does not make her any less of a person and does not making killing her in cold blood any less wrong. Quirrell is EVIL.

He lies to HPEV about what happens to Rita, and then encourages HPEV to embrace his brutal side. It's not okay just because HPEV is just a child and should not have to deal with upsetting consequences for his actions. That does not make it any less wrong for HPEV to be misled or encouraged to dehumanize the Fourth Estate. Quirrell is EVIL.

Y'all need to keep that in mind.


My current theory is that the Weasley twins tricked Rita like this.

1. Ginerva Weasley, who is canonically crushing on HP, was exposed to a canonical device that turned her daydreams into a realistic experience.

2. A Pensieve was used to extract Ginerva's memories from this daydream. The memories may have been edited to extract the most realistic elements, possibly involving a third party experiencing Ginerva's memories within the daydream device to elaborate on the original daydream. The most realistic, believable resulting memories were then stored in Pensieve form again.

3. These memories were delivered to Rita. This may have involved the ward-breaking described in this chapter and the use of the Malfoy Pensieve, as might step 2.

4. The memory object is retrieved and disposed of. This might instead be the part that involved the ward-breaking.

5. Everyone involved in the prank is Obliviated. This means that Rita's personal memories of the concocted memory, and the results of her possession of these memories, are the only evidence of the fabrication.


If that isn't the real scheme, I deeply hope that the real one is even more awesome.
Apurv2009 chapter 26 . 10/23/2010
clever and witty...

But u have got everyone wrapped.

The intelligent one will know u r using the curiosity problem of humans for ur story.

To mix up science, literature is a good hybrid... but only if the reder understands. I am willing to bet there r less than 5% people reading it r understanding it clearly.

Mark my words no one will understand whats happening when u finish even if u did.

I think along with Harry, Voldemort too good a mind boost ,eh ?

But either way, ur imagination is good.

But a request, please our world is confusing enough, don't make it more. Simplify everything or atleast explain everything in the end...
Kutta chapter 26 . 10/10/2010
Great chapter
LunaSlashSea chapter 26 . 10/7/2010
Excellent chapter
buggar chapter 26 . 10/1/2010
I just discovered this story and I live it! Your Harry is so adorable!
Katio chapter 26 . 9/28/2010
amn thought that was tom's diary for a sec. you think voldie is like hot damn harry is freaking amazing must make him mineee. or something.
Rebel Goddess chapter 26 . 9/21/2010
"Ancestral environment"? Nice one. I like the doublethink that has gone into the Draco and Fred & George manipulations. This Harry is quite worryingly intelligent, more so because he has moments of total stupidity.

I absolutely loved your choice of ridiculous story for this chapter. All too familiar from fanfic. Comparing Muggles to kittens, in particular the torturing part of the simile, was hilarious.

You gave him BACON'S DIARY? Bloody hell...

Fantastic chapter as always.
Tall Tails - Feline Jaye chapter 26 . 9/7/2010
did Skeeter just die WHILE STILL A BUG? Wow.

Ha ha ha, 'nother brilliant chapter.
Dead Man Writing Is Dead chapter 26 . 8/7/2010
Frankly, the thing that pisses me off the most about this chapter is how many fanfiction I've seen doing the betrothed thing completely straight...
CeilingFan chapter 26 . 8/4/2010
Ha! Oh, this chapter is pure awesome. I enjoy Quirrelmort so much.
Athla chapter 26 . 8/2/2010
Roger Bacon!

Shadow hearts Roger Bacon!

Holy Crap!
109 chapter 26 . 7/24/2010
. . . there is no way all that evidence could have been faked on 40 galleons by two teenaged school-wizards. Therefore, it hadn't. So I shouldn't be asking, how had they faked the proceedings and the contract and then put every back to normal. . . .

I guess there probably was no faked contract or faked proceedings. The evidence wasn't tampered back, it was just as it had been all along. And it has something to do with the guy in Honeydukes. So what now? One guess is that the article wasn't actually written by Rita Skeeter, but that doesn't seem likely. Presumably, one cannot easily impersonate a journalist in the wizarding world. Most likely, Rita Skeeter only believed that she'd seen and verified all that evidence. In fact, it was probably a method where the quantity of evidence didn't really make it harder. It seems that they could have just as easily gotten ten times as much "evidence" as they did, so the exact evidence doesn't matter much, only that it is convincing and vast, and Rita Skeeter believed it.

I'm going to have to think about this a bit more.
Gamebird chapter 26 . 7/17/2010
Yay! No more Skeeter. She was such a useless character in the books, anyway. So flimsy and poorly executed, so shallow and inhuman. I am glad to see her dead here.
Wittgen chapter 26 . 7/13/2010
I just noticed a small contradiction with canon in this chapter. Quirrel states that a goblin would be immune to imperius. In book seven, Harry imperiuses the crap out of some goblins.
MorningPerson chapter 26 . 7/5/2010
Would I be correct in assuming that 'Professor Quirrel' is actually an alternate-universe version of Harry? In any case, this is brilliant!
DoubleC chapter 26 . 7/3/2010
...Did Voldy design to kill Rita for bad publicity?..

Understood nothing, naturally, about the Weasley's plan - hope to find out soon!

Also. Why does Harry like Quirrell so much, again? Good thing they are so far apart in age, or it'd be some sort of Grindledorish slash, I feel. Who will have to die to shed some light on the truth, this time?

Harry's snobism is showing more and more, as the story progresses. What kind of lesson will teach him out of it?..
Lord Tywin chapter 26 . 6/30/2010
"A sixth-year Gryffindor cast a curse at one of my more promising students, a sixth-year Slytherin."

Was the Slytherin in the process of throwing an unprovoked Unforgiveable at the Gryffindor at the time?
Vampyromaniac chapter 26 . 6/30/2010
Wow this flame war is bizarre. The people leaving reviews like "you suck" and "please stop writing" are unbelievably rude. As authors and readers we should defend people's right to write, even if we disagree violently with the content. Let's leave aside the fact that the opinions of characters do not necessarily reflect those of the author. Raising a theory as a possibility is not officially endorsing it as the conclusion. Surely we have the right to 'wonder'. Calling one woman shallow is not hating all women. If the genders were reversed, that call would still be equally valid/invalid. Judging one utterance of a racial slur as forgivable is not defending all racism. Constellation Maiden does not speak for us when she says "That's why women are so sickened by this chapter." As a woman of ethnic descent (although everyone's ethnic, really), I *love* chapter 27 Empathy and hope that the author will continue to produce thought-provoking works despite the misinterpretations running amok. Keep it coming, can't wait for the next installment!
ilikebluepineapples chapter 26 . 6/29/2010
"To those of you comparing Snape to a wife-beater or a violent, abusive husband, that's largely unfair. That's like saying, I called my significant other a bad name. Oh noes! It's just as bad as actually doing violence. (That's exactly what you're saying.)"

Er. Emotional abuse IS just as bad as physical violence. I don't get your point. Actually, I do get your point, and you're wrong :P

Don't get me wrong, I'm a Snape fan and I don't think he was close to being an irredeemably bad person, but I still think it was justified, even right for Lily to break off ties with him. He was a pretty troubled child and teenager, and he was bigoted against a class of people that she was a part of, and had ignored her requests to change his behavior in the past. She basically issued an ultimatum of "leave the Death Eaters or this friendship is done," and he had nothing to say (in canon).

I mean I guess the issue is, if he had been more attractive, would Lily have been more hesitant to cut off their friendship? Probably. But then women stay in poisonous relationships with attractive men all the time, and that's not a good or admirable thing.
Takai153 chapter 26 . 6/26/2010
This is a great story! Its very funny but also has quite the intriguing plot. Though the recent chapters seem to have less humor than in the begining. Keep up the awesome work and please update as soon as you can!
Elelith chapter 26 . 6/26/2010
I only have one word for it: wow
Delrusant chapter 26 . 6/26/2010
revenge can be sweet but a beetle can't complain. Her disappearance won't even be suspect thanks to the twins. And Quirell must have set her up when he left Harry.

Great entertaining fiction to be recommended
Snag1 chapter 26 . 6/25/2010
Oh, man. I honestly can't decide if you're going to have Quirrell turn out evil or not. I do enjoy him trying to put Harry in touch with his inner sneak, tho'.

Some stories give Rita an ignoble end. Sometimes it's fun, sometimes not. This was one of the fun ones.
embirsiphonelilathia chapter 26 . 6/25/2010
I never know if I'm coming reading this.. I come up with theories but I'm never sure enough to voice them.. Still it IS fun to read _
1angelette chapter 26 . 6/25/2010
Read this all in one basically uninterrupted sitting today and, basically, I love it. I am not really capable of expressing which parts I like because it's about 160K words and that's a lot of material. Suffice it to say that I burst out laughing three times.

I am secretly, childishly disappointed that the possibility of squibness as a recessive trait separate from "magic" is not considered. Ah, that's foolish.
avatarmirai chapter 26 . 6/24/2010
Woah, adding Bacon into the plot completely took me by surprise! Amazing twist, nearly topped by Quirrel killing Skeeter. Please update soon!
James Birdsong chapter 26 . 6/24/2010
Splendid. Not what I expected but very befitting the mood
Simplicity Is Bliss chapter 26 . 6/24/2010
I love this. LOVE IT. It's three am and I'm going on a run and all this other stuff and I don't actually care that I've missed all that glorious sleep for this because it is EXCELLENT.
Harriverse chapter 26 . 6/23/2010
Two wonderful surprises in one chapter! I really like the conversation between Quirrell and Harry about warnings to Muggleborn's (and his comments about 'breeding'). Then that ending was also LOL-able. I thought it was Voldy running out of energy, but you turned it into 'bug-a-cide'!
Zargon chapter 26 . 6/23/2010
Well, put me down for liking the use of italics. Lots of content in human communication is conveyed through channels other than the actual words, and all of that is lost when you're just reading text (which is why irony and sarcasm fails so consistently over the internet). The italics do a reasonable job of recovering some of that without being obtrusive like bold, caps, or font size changes would be.

Story's still awesome. Keep it up.
Cyndy Cooper chapter 26 . 6/23/2010
This story is actually getting me interested in Harry Potter again ... and your version of Harry is about ten times more likeable for me than the original, to boot!
Hikari Daeron chapter 26 . 6/23/2010
Yeah I've always hated Rita Skeeter... though of course, the repercussions of her death will be interesting.

I loved the 6th book reference-I told it to my dad, and he laughed appreciatively.

I also enjoy the inner house debate Harry has to have, it's amusing.

I watched The Sorcerer's Stone last night, and all I could think of is how much I prefer this version of Quirrell.

Nice job!
ramblingperfectionist chapter 26 . 6/23/2010
Actually, wouldn't it have been fairly obvious that it's the WWeasley twins, since everyone already considers them brilliant tricksters? (A little faded compared to Harry, perhaps, but still.)
Tangerine-Alert chapter 26 . 6/23/2010
Such an uneventuful death for Ms Skeeter, there was something to her vilification laced articles. Where will we go for articles of such fun now? Journalism in the wizarding world can't turn around to decent well researched word-smithery overnight.

I'm really enjoying your story, I feel like I learn something new with each chapter I read.

You've made 2 dimensional characters and ideas really expand out and obtain a sense of reality.

Brilliant work, hoping for more soon!
Sweetdoggie chapter 26 . 6/22/2010
Wow! Excellent story. I'm really enjoying the concepts you are developing. I'm not good at Harry's kind of thinking, not having a single spark of natural curiosity about how things work, but I can appreciate somebody who does. You are doing an excellent job on this story. I almost feel sorry for Draco too. His world was destroyed-doesn't really matter that his beliefs were incorrect. Anyhow, great story. Thanks for sharing.
hollyivy7 chapter 26 . 6/22/2010
holy fuck you killed rita skeeter.
Alice Hell chapter 26 . 6/22/2010
This is actually the best story I've ever read. I'm not saying this because it was a good story and I want you to feel good, this is because I'm seriously telling the truth for maybe the first time ever. I like the way that the one small change detail in the story, (no Dursleys), could change every character, and/or put them in a different light. I also admire all the scientific words that Harry says, even though I have no clue what they mean and probably cant pronounce them. So when I say this is the best story ever, I'm including not only the Harry Potter fanfictions, but the actual Harry Potter Books. I say no offence to J. ... she IS a brilliant writer, but if this story had original characters, and a different magical world, I would buy it and it would be my favourite book. So when I say if you don't update I will be seriously pissed off, I REALLY mean it. So update and keep up your wonderful writing style.


Lurve Ali

aaronmicalowe chapter 26 . 6/22/2010
It’s engrossing (and hard work) to read that which simultaneously succeeds to entertain and challenge. I'm now slightly regretting not pacing out the 26 chapters a little further.
NBly chapter 26 . 6/21/2010
Here's a question: why do virtually all the (canonical) incantations have classical roots? Avada Kedavra is one of a very VERY small number of exceptions.

Even if there are different incantations for the same spells in different languages (which I doubt), this wouldn't explain the absence of Anglo Saxon spells in the Potterverse.
434 chapter 26 . 6/21/2010
The best and most awesome fanfic I've ever read.
Tom Reagan chapter 26 . 6/21/2010
Having just completed reading the latest chapter, although I should probably be fast asleep right now, I cannot rest without at least voicing some of my feelings;

You, Sir, are a genius.

I shall attempt to give some more detailed feedback, along with some criticism, when my mind is less overloaded with sleep deprivation and the sheer brilliance of your intellectual capacity to make me simultaneously cry with laughter and think deeply on how I perceive the world (well, if not simultaneously, then within a few hundred words).

Yours Admiringly (albeit tiredly)

Tidux chapter 26 . 6/20/2010
Well, this was quite the intriguing chapter. Lily Potter's blood protection acting up, the diary of a muggle wizard (I thought it would be Riddle's diary at first - I forgot Lucius has it), and a Calvin and Hobbes reference in the disclaimer. What's next, a bear juggling chainsaws with one paw and proving the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus with the other?
Astrid chapter 26 . 6/20/2010
MC Escher didn't produce any paintings of note, as far as I know: he mostly made lithographs.

Poor Rita. Congrats on working in yet another kick-the-dog moment, though. Please write faster! :)
tattersmith chapter 26 . 6/19/2010
Genius! I'm enjoying this altogether too much to come up with any criticism. I hope you have your story all arced out and (metaphorically) cannot wait to read what comes next. Thank you for writing it.
therandomencounter chapter 26 . 6/19/2010
You are a terrible, terrible person :D I'm now wondering whether to introduce a *bacteria* animagus into a fic I'm planning :D - No emoticon could represent the size of the grin I'm wearing, so that will have to do.
TBooki chapter 26 . 6/19/2010
One word... AMAZING!

This chapter was awesome... to be more exact Professor Quirrell was awesome!

Him only having fifteen minutes a week for office hours, and his supreme anger was simply great!

I love how evil he was portrayed as being here, and for once how ignorant Harry was to the fact. Sure, part of him suggested that Quirrel was "trying to turn [him] Dark." But still, he didn't seem to catch the certain vibes Quirrell was casting off the whole time.

The whole turn about Rita Skeeter was both hilarious and excellently played. From the start where Quirrel maneuvered Harry around testing for animagus' to killing her himself!

Nikara chapter 26 . 6/19/2010
Wow. This story is truly incredible. It's so much fun trying to figure out where you are going with everything. Your characterizations are fascinating. I can't help but be very curious as to where you are going with everything. You've already killed a couple of the normal plots (Wormtongue is dead etc.), and you've closed some of the larger loopholes-like the really easily identifiable dark mark. I also appreciate the fact that all adults aren't idiots, especially Dumbledore. Writers like dumbing him down way too much.

Harry reminds me so much of the kids at the gifted summer camp that I work at. His plots and the way that he speaks sounds so much like a CTY kid that it's almost uncanny.

I look forward to reading more!
The French Dark Lord chapter 26 . 6/19/2010
Whenevern I read this stuff it just makes my day!
Dumbledork chapter 26 . 6/19/2010
Absolutely brilliant. I love this story.

Harry mentoned Luna in an early chapter and I'd really like to see that pairing. Honestly, her strange world view would fit this Harry's. Both are thinking out of the box.
Primal Chaos chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
love the story my friend it is very well thought out and has me sometimes second guessing how close you are trying to stay to the original story vs this. i only have a few questions that i am sure you will answer later. One is of-course wordless and wandless magic it counters most of harry's current hypothesis about magic spells and such. after all you don't need a wand or spells to use magic it just makes it much easier to the untrained. magic is apart of them it all comes down to a force of will i think. oh and if you are keeping to the story when harry does face quirrel in the end and quirrel *snaps his fingers* and makes a wall of flames appear around them. i can picture harry getting up set at the teacher steeling his gimmick. i noticed that if you are interested you have unknowingly created a idea from a different story. it involves the scene with the sorting hat. what if the scar did have a personality and decided to join the conversation unknowingly. if you want to hear more about it ask me ok?
thewanderingmonster chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
I love your version of Quirrel(!Mort?) as a character: "You say the nicest things, Mr. Potter" :)

Given Quirrel's authorship of an Evil Overlord's List, I'm wondering if the !Mort part - if present - hasn't been influenced by the Quirrel part: !Mort desired immortality, power, and respect; Quirrel might have had those same desires, but would have known that setting himself up as a Dark Lord and announcing himself to the world as such would have painted him as a target; assuming that he *has* achieved the first desire, as has been all but outright confirmed, he can as a teacher he can lead a respectable life where it is to be expected that he will encounter and study powerful dark artifacts and magic, where can influence and manipulate into owing him favours the next generation of all ranks of society; and, in a world where both polyjuice potion and time turners exist, if he felt it necessary he could easily lead a double life as a more traditional Dark Lord.

Woohoo, text!
CloakedInsanity chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
You killed Skeeter! Ahahahahaha...
lirial89 chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
brilliant! love the oddly disturbed story line... but could you make Draco a bit nicer? sorry but the whole bringing Harry's world to ruin thing is a bit much i think...
Sobriquet chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
The hot-plate example strikes me as disingenuous. So do other, similar attempts to teach students appropriate scientific humility through calculated failure without first considering the nature of the teacher-student relationship.

It /intends/ to teach: "Withhold judgment when the evidence available cannot be adequately explained by any hypothesis you can identify." It /actually/ teaches: "Consider the possibility that your evidence has been deliberately tampered with." And, moreover, because the teacher asks why the phenomenon /happens/, not why it /happened in this case/, she is making a statement from a position of trust that what is under observation is a repeatable natural phenomenon. Which means that the /real/ lesson here is, "When presented with strange-seeming evidence, consider the possibility that someone you trust, whom you know to be an expert, is deliberately lying to you."

The first is a useful lesson to teach in an elementary physics class. The second might be useful for graduate students. The third is a bitingly cynical lesson that would tend to produce reclusive paranoiacs, not productive individuals with a knack for teamwork and cooperation.
Pathatlon chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
Haha, did he just kill Rita? ANd this is so fascinating! Love it!
Jinx of the 2nd Law chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
Oh! Oh! Oh! The Anticlimatic Diary of Roger Bacon! Wooot!

And Quirrel killed Rita Skeeter! [happy dance]

Excellent chapter, much less brain bending than the previous few. I need to re-read them a few times to get what is going on - perhaps they will become clearer in hindsight.

And it DOES take a LOT to silence the voice inside that says, "but it's a BOOK!". 20000 other books crammed into my house helps to defeat the desire to bring more home willy nilly.

Thanks for writing and sharing!
Immatrael chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
I... /think/ I know how they did it. At least, I have a viable hypothesis which explains all the known facts, is very in character for Fred and George, and is supported, as far as I can tell, by Occam's Razor.

You've thrown out a nice shiny impossible bauble to look at. Life debt, betrothal, centaurs, goblins, an Unspeakable and a Bavarian seer (wherever Bavaria is - I need to look that up), even a record of the Wizengamot proceedings.

Thing about shiny baubles is, once people see them, they tend to get so distracted with how shiny they are, they fail to look at where they *came* from.

All of the impossibility only applies so long as Rita actually /wrote/ the article. If it was instead put together by Fred and George themselves... it's probably a lot easier to fake out whatever security the Prophet has to ensure the articles it recieves are really by the person they say they're from than it is to fake all of the things IN the article. And Quirrell himself said that 40 galleons would "pay a competent ward-breaker to open a path into a home you wish to burglarize". Given that, I find it much easier to believe Fred and George Weasley could somehow use it to convince the editor of the Prophet that an article they wrote had come from Skeeter than the alternative.

At least, that's how /I'd/ have done it. Attack the weakest link in the chain, and all.

So yeah, that's my theory. Remains to be seen whether or not I'm right, but it's the only way I can see off the top of my head that something like that could be done. Loving the story, especially the way it demonstrates in Harry the difference between "smart" and "wise" - roughly put, smart can invent a nuclear bomb, wise would have forseen the results of doing so and known not to give it to the government and military. Harry is very smart, but he's not yet wise enough to know how to use it all the time - he makes mistakes (Willow Rosenburg is another good example of that trait). That kind of character is interesting to read about, if occasionally painful to watch blunder. Also, many parts of the story are as funny as hell - I was physically in /pain/ from laughing so hard by the end of this chapter, and Harry's first meeting with Malfoy... even rereading it, knowing what happens, still manages to leave me in hysterics.

Keep writing, I can't wait to see if I'm right (or, if I'm wrong, how the hell they DID pull it off). I await the next update eagerly! _
wowow chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
wow, weasly twins really ingenious. i really like their plan, very unexpected. also i like harry & prof. quirell interaction in this chapter, hope prof quirell doesnt die in the end of harry's first year. oh and is the diary a horcrux, since quirell said it was enchanted? hmm, I cant wait for your next brilliant chapter Less Wrong! .
r chapter 26 . 6/18/2010
Hmmmm lunch at Mary's with Quirrel seems like lunch with Manson in a mausoleum. Is there a possibility that the dairy is really Tom Riddle's, and good old big V just informed his younger self of some dastardly evil plan to trick Harry?

Amazing fic by the way, it's really 12 kinds of awesome.
4683513543545 chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
Amazing chapter! I never would have expected what the twins ultimately produced, and the diary and beetle incident ended it with a shock or two. You always make me excited to see what adventure (intellectual or real-life) Harry will have next!
TheFutureEmpress chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
""A sixth-year Gryffindor cast a curse at one of my more promising students, a sixth-year Slytherin."

Harry swallowed. "What... sort of curse?"

"Why bother to ask an unimportant question like that, Mr. Potter? Our friend the sixth-year Gryffindor did not think it was important!"

"Are you serious?" Harry said before he could stop himself.

"No, I'm in a terrible mood today for no particular reason. Yes I'm serious, you fool! He didn't know. He actually didn't know. I didn't believe it until the Aurors confirmed it under Veritaserum. He is in his sixth year at Hogwarts and he cast a high-level Dark curse without knowing what it did."

"You don't mean," Harry said, "that he was mistaken about what it did, that he somehow read the wrong spell description -"

"All he knew was that it was meant to be directed at an enemy. He knew that was all he knew."

Very nice reference to Half-Blood Prince. Judging from the skimming I did of your reviews, not many really noticed that. I agree completely, however, Harry casting that curse on Draco in the bathroom was completely ignorant on so many levels. Keep up the amazing writing, I'm learning some fascinating things.
Hedi Dracona chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
My god, you just killed Rita Skeeter.

Somehow, I have a hard time feeling sorry for her.

I do wonder, though, what this says about magic and the conservation of mass. By conventional logic, one would assume that, because she didn't revert to human form upon death, the remaining mass has been somehow forever lost, which should be impossible.

I just thought of this now off the top of my head, but, what if Rita's "Shapeshifter Baggage" matter is now in a sort of "away" place, which is a sort of pool of assorted mass oriented laterally in a fourth spatial dimension from reality as the characters know it (a fourth spatial dimension would actually probably explain a LOT about Hogwarts's layout, now that I think about it), that can then be drawn on by other wizards/witches when they conjure, or when they transfigure something into something else with more mass? And what if that's why you can't/aren't allowed to conjure food (it's never made clear in canon if it's impossible or forbidden), for the same reason you can't transfigure things into food?

I'm aware that you probably have your own plans for the plot here, and that my hypotheses make a lot of assumptions that I'm not sure if there'd be a way to test in-universe, so I don't expect you actually address any of this in the fic or anything, but I'd be interested in your thoughts about it, from an outside-the-story standpoint. I'm not trying to ask for anything spoilery, either (I don't like spoilers), just wondering if you'd already thought of this, or if there's some other, non-spoilery explanation that you can think of that'd make less assumptions than mine would. _;;

Also, I'd just like to say, this is probably one of the best HP fics I've ever read. Admittedly, I don't usually read fic for this fandom, so I don't have a very large sample size, but I'm glad that my friend recommended this story to me, and I've recced it to another friend. :3
Rodrigo Black Potter chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
Voldemort is Evil, and soo much FUN! haha
ReaderMike chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
OH my god he did not just kill Rita Skeeter! That's like having Lord of the Rings with no Gollum!
Peregrinate chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
Oo la la la. ) Brilliantly done, as ever and always.
riayi chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
Oh, my, god... Lord Voldemort has crushed Rita Skeeter even after her reputation had been crushed, and the author also railroaded the readers into believing Voldie was handing the Riddle diary to Harry... which might still be a possibility seeing how it's enchanted to be (at least) fireproof... but anyway, the way Harry investigates magic one or two chapters back makes so much sense, it manages to make sense of the magic in Harry Potter, and let's face it, it's a children's book, not meant to make sense. There are the evil not-parents that mistreat the hero and then he discovers he's really a very special wizard, and he makes things levitate by sayin wingardium leviosa... It only seems likely for magic to work that way if the words are only codewords that cause a particular, predetermined effect, to happen, like a computer responding to commands without them needing to mean anything (or have any power) by themselves. Atlanteans (if they are the culprits) might have harnessed a natural (perhaps unknown now) force and turned it into a device that monitors the world for appropriate users and executes commands, or used a mundane energy source to power a device like it.
Mirrorfaced chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
"... absolutely amusing, witty, hilarious..." -Some Critic
comelovesleep chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
I have to admit that the idea of Voldemort enjoying a slow lunch in the Place is one I find very unsettling.
Dragon Man 180 chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
Very interesting story. I have to say the crazy headmaster bits are most amusing, as is every time Harry starts building up a chain or reasoning and making everyone look stupid. I can't wait to see how Quirrell fares in this, but he's much cooler than the original.
Jaxtopher chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
I knew that ending was coming the moment you threw Quirrel and Skeeter into the same room together. There is no way Voldamort would allow any other possible conclusion. It fits him perfectly. That said, this did not make the ending any less brutal or horrible, it was still a bit of a sharp shock to read.

Excellent chapter of the fic, I really have to wonder about exactly how it was done.
Peer Infinity chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
In chapter 26:

"Professor Quirrell held up a cautioning finger, then took out his wand again, locked the door again, and repeated three of the same Charms from earlier."

The wording is ambiguous. Did you mean to say that Professor Quirrell cast only three Charms, and that all of them were the same as a Charm from earlier? Or did you mean to say that Professor Quirrell cast more than three Charms, but only three of them were the same as a Charm from earlier?

This ambiguity is relevant to what I suspect is a major plot point.
Kitty Smith chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
Bye bye Rita... :( She shall be missed... Sort of. I love the depth of character Harry has, especially his little conversations with himself divided into four houses... I do that a lot... . But, anyway, Quirdemort is actually having FUN mentoring Harry, isn't he? :)

Love the story, love the characters, love the use of rationalism- and I read that article about the invisible dragon, you totally stole that explanation- I really can't think of any constructive criticism to give you except to keep doing what you're doing... I hope you update as soon as is convenient! :D
Jalen Strix chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
This is absolutely brilliant - my Bayesian heart has sighed with pleasure and danced with glee after being directed your story. I'm so looking forward to the next chapter!
Shally-wa chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
So you couldn't even reverse scry, whether by location or person? You couldn't follow a person, and when they vanished, assume they had gone to Mary's Room and were up to no good? Or search for one person at every possible location and when they are not found, assume the same? Damn, that's better than a privacy shield!

Quirrell is significantly eviler in this one. Which, given what we know about Quirrell, makes a good deal of sense. And 6th years messing around with Sectumsempra! This story is awesome.

Poor Rita, though.
PenguinPenguinMushroom chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
"Professor Quirrell," said Harry gravely, "all the Muggle-raised students in Hogwarts need a safety lecture in which they are told the things so ridiculously obvious that no wizardborn would ever think to mention them..."

"I suppose you are right," Professor Quirrell said with a resigned smile. "I shall design a lecture to ensure that Muggleborns who are too stupid to live do not take anyone valuable with them as they depart."

Nice subtlety with "Muggle-raised" vs "Muggleborns". The first would include Harry (and anyone else in his situation), the latter would not.
hjcallipygian chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
Sometimes, I don't review because I don't really have anything constructive to add. I mean, I could type, "Awesome!" and some other non-specific words of excitement, but really I'm just enjoying the story a great deal. But then I realized that I should probably at least tell you that, shouldn't I? You don't exist in a vacuum, after all.

AlchemistofSilver chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
You're making me feel stupid...

sugoi fyre chapter 26 . 6/17/2010
BOOM headshot and rita goes down
Random832 chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
[written as of reading the first scene, and not revised]

Wait... what?

Oh, my... Is this a fic where (rot13)Ibyqrzbeg jnf frag onpx va gvzr gb qb guvatf bire? Is he somehow erfcbafvoyr sbe Crghavn abg zneelvat Ireaba, rira?

I'm sorry about the code, but I think I may have stumbled on one of those things that you meant to be obvious but that some readers will complain about spoilers if it's spelled out to them.
Puidwen chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
nice new chapter
Entropic Specter chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Oho, as expected from the Dark Lord. He keeps those kinds of promises.

Frags: 1

Once again, I have nothing left to say, but great work. Keep it up. Please update soon.

Now excuse me, I'll have to go look for a book mine.
anon chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
very nice chapter. A Reporter dies today and the world seems a little brighter...
emanon chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Lets see...where to start. The re-hash of the Harry/Malfoy bathroom fight scene from HP6...not sure what point that served. I already thought that a pretty stupid move on Canon!Harry's part, to use a spell he didn't understand. Then again, Malfoy was casting an Unforgivable at the time, so he deserved whatever he got. Also, to allude that Canon!Malfoy was a promising student is way out in left field. Let see, he was a bully, a whiner, a bigot, a cheat, self-serving, egotistical..let's face it, Canon!Malfoy had no redeeming qualities at all. Truly a shame that he lived on to "19 Years Later".

The marriage prank sounded good, although I wish I understood it more. Supposedly the Weasley twins accomplished some serious pranking, yet we don't understand how they did it to to truly appreciate it.

The bit about Skeeter getting crushed...nice. She served no useful purpose anyways, and demonstrates that Riddle is very much in control of every situation. He did lose self-control when faced with the supposed prophecy in the paper, but whether it was true or not, Harry doesn't seem stand a chance against him. Your Riddle is too good. The most we can hope for is that Zombie!Riddle falls apart and Harry gets by on luck. On that note, another thing I don't understand is why Riddle hasn't killed him already. He already tried to kill him as a toddler. Why not finish the job? Even if he blows his cover, he can always escape again to plot more evil in the future, without the Boy Who Lived hanging over his shoulder. Just a thought.
boonerunner chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
There's no love for poor Rita. But she can't say he didn't warn her. Granted, she can't say anything at all right now, so the point is kind of moot, but he DID warn her.

Harry was beyond shocked at transfiguration and time travel, but teleportation hardly seems to faze him. Maybe he's getting jaded.
dsr chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Wow, Declan really loaded that Wired article in the most unsympathetic terms possible.

Congratulations on the double climax at the end of this chapter. I have to wonder what was done to the Roger Bacon grimoire, though - is it a Horcrux, or just magically protected?
bluewillow chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
I wonder if SquirrelMort is trying to do to Harry (with the book) that Harry is trying to do to Hermione (with the super-extra moke pouch)...
anon chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Why don't you use traits from people you know as characters like most authors do instead of trying to extract them all from yourself?
to lazy to log in chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Well I didn't think Rita was going to last much longer, nice chapter. This is developing into one of my favorite Harry Potter stories.
Dan chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
The Weasley twins have engaged in the pranking version of "rubber-hose cryptography". Why bother to stage such a dramatic and quite frankly impossible scenario, when a a single Polyjuice Potion and a bit of Rita Skeeter's hair would do the trick? Masquerade as Skeeter, submit a Weasly-authored story to the Daily Prophet just before publishing (to avoid the possibility of contacting Skeeter to "confirm" any of the story), and walk away whistling a happy tune.

On a more severe note, I'm a bit depressed by all the comments cheering on the "literal crushing" of Rita Skeeter. LessWrong nailed it when he said, "...they were cute, so if you tortured them in public you could get arrested, but they weren't people." Yikes, folks.
Paganimagus chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
It is truly an honor to read such fabulousness.

Muggles had around the same legal standing as children or kittens: they were cute, so if you tortured them in public you could get arrested, but they weren't *people*

"If you have not dealt with journalists before, take it from me that the world gets a little brighter every time one dies."

Nestled up against the wall, where Professor Quirrell had stumbled, glistened the crushed remains of a beautiful blue beetle.

Oh Joy. You make me cackle maniacally. Thankyou-


(at the high standard already set)
Phygmalion chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
I really enjoyed this chapter. Enough twists and turns to make it interesting, and the usual rationality that makes your story so unique.

Having just finished reading the first Harry Potter book for the first time, I do have some questions about Professor Quirrell. He is MUCH more confident and powerful in this story than he was in the book, and I cannot tell whether or not he is under the influence of Voldemort. Judging from his behaviour, I would say not, but I cannot tell for certain. Also, there has been hardly any reference to the Philosopher's Stone. I like where you are going with this story, though.

Great job, and I eagerly anticipate the next chapter.

By the way, who was that blue beetle?
Poknok chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
One of the author's comments earlier, about not being sure how far to push information on people and needing to leave room for people to be surprised, echos in the comments to Chapter 26. Some readers were pretty sure by the end of Chapter 25 that Skeeter was going to die, and were pretty sure how that would happen, and as soon as PQ talks about having an outing, and humming a tune in Chapter 26, we're pretty sure it's going to happen in this chapter. Other people were apparently surprised by her death. I can see how trying to write for these two groups could be... odd? I can't think of a better word than "odd".

This chapter opens up a pile of plot! Draco knows that the HP was plotting to do SOMETHING to Rita, and by extension Lucius knows (or will soon enough). And I do not believe for a moment that Lucius will miss the fact that Skeeter is dead, PQ's pitch about "flee and start her life over" notwithstanding. Meanwhile, HP doesn't even know she's dead. So that could get interesting.

Also, PQ knows that Rita is Lucius's pawn, but apparently does not care. Where's the love?

It would be interesting, and quite plausible from where the fic currently stands, to see a scenario in which HP is saved from PQ by LM.

I, for one, do not think that this is a self-insert fic, and I am sorry if my last comment came out that way. Selective author identification can be totally useful. I stand by my comment that in order for us to believe that the HP likes PQ, and point to ByLanternLight's comment for a little validation there.

Finally, and since nobody else has mentioned it, I would like to be the first to appreciate the inclusion of Newton's First Law of Motion in this Chapter.

Ba weep gra na weep ninny bon.
deloriantimewizard chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
what a crackin chapter, very excited about the name drop. thanks for the birthday update!
KuMardagg chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
"You could toss this diary in a fireplace and it would emerge unscathed."


"...and I cast a lovely little spell on that lovely golden plaque which will make it last a lot longer than it otherwise would."

VN chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
"And we might even make it a little outing, if you like. I've just had a pleasant thought."

Harry nodded, smiling back.

As Harry left the office, he heard Professor Quirrell humming a small tune.

The "pleasant thought" was about murdering a person, I gather.
AoMythology chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
I laughed at the canon!Harry-bashing and overall canon-bashing you had in this chapter (Sectumsempra, high-level potions w/o supervision in the toilets).

But did you have to put Roger Bacon in there? There's no counting how many books, videogames etc. have had him entangled with the supernatural. But is it actually his diary or did Quirrellmort snatch his own (T. ) diary from Lucius and simply removed his name from it and changed its appearance?

Last but not least, I absolutely adore your take on Voldemort. You have actually made him mentally powerful in all ways, not just smarts. But is Quirrell's behavior all Voldy, or is Quirrell, unlike canon, badass instead of a wimp?
MatsumotoXD chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Peter Woo chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
A Gringotts goblin gets Imperiused by Harry in book 7. Also, nonverbal spellcasting is significant in book 6. This comes to mind whenever I read a part about the ongoing pronunciation-must-be-just-so / Wingardium-Leviosa troubles.
Arkh Cthuul chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Some parts of this chapter were simply amazing, and the rest still very good.

Ins hort: Fantastic chapter, I can hardl wait for the next (while the last 2 chapters didnt inspire me to review, sorry, too much scinece with too little else ;) ).
Animekitty47 chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
'Ancestral environment'? Er, home? Muggle-world, right?

lol Lampshading the 6th and 2nd book. XD

And speaking of hilarious lines- "If the bookstore burned down, Harry was going to stick around in the middle of the fire until Professor Quirrell got back."

And that little exchange about costs of tampering with things. XD

"To quote Douglas Adams, the impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks." Unfortunately, I do not see Harry's point. What does honor have to do with anything? Or do I just have a screwed up definition of 'integrity'?

Nice of you to give that hint about Mary's Room, but wow. No more Rita, huh? Wait! Act 6! Is that what Quirrelmort was doing when Harry was reading the paper?

Bacon. I'm guessing, as in a relative of the famous Bacon? XD

Oh, as interesting as Harry's theory about Atlantis is, how do new spells get invented then? How that to add a spell and effect to its...lexicon? Database? Oh, and because I must quote this now (and can't believe I forgot last time) "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." I have a feeling you agree with that idea. XD
Ossindie chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
A villain. A true, real life villain. Are you sure we're still in the Harry Potter universe?

Side note: I would have fainted, too.
Allen Pitt chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
still, you're veering off into fantasy-land. Nobody in the HP series would ever in their 6th year cast a sectumsempra and... hm. Ok, never mind.

Gee, poor Rita. And yet nobody will miss her. And, reporters will now think twice and yet again before printing anything about HP ...

So. Evil bankers charge interest. "What does 'diversify' mean?" Good grief. Once HP is old enough to manage his own money, Gringotts is doomed.

10,000 galleons for a noble wife? Hm...
Deleteaccount86268921280682681 chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
yay shes dead
TSFreedom chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Another awesome chapter keep'em coming.
Guile chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
My goodness, Voldemort does not fuck around.

And we like him anyway. I wonder if that was what the charismatic canon Voldemort was supposed to be like, before his death and rebirth.
newyn chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Is it my imagination or is the scheming becoming more layered?

I thought Fred and George's bum steer on Rita Skeeter was a brilliant feat worthy of extensive deconstruction in the next chapter. It would have been interesting to see how the twins delivered the document and story into Rita's hands such that she had no cause to go checking background on the story. Presumably such important contracts have lengthy paper trails at the ministry.

Alas, it seems Quirrel squashed Rita at the restaurant. How then do the twins deliver the coup de grace when the offending journalist is no longer alive to defend her story? Without the writer to take the fall, won't the onus of defense fall on Daily Prophet editors? Will this not deflect or dilute the reputational damage Harry had hoped to do on Skeeter?

Worse, might not Skeeter's disappearance become news bigger than the debunking of the betrothal story? Might the Daily Prophet not seek to turn the tables by blaming Rita's disappearance on kidnap plots by her detractors?

Did Quirrel realize all this and did he squish Skeeter on purpose precisely to foil Fred and George and keep Harry from achieving his revenge on Skeeter? While appearing to be solicitous of Harry's welfare, is Quirrel in fact scheming to undermine Harry's plans in order to render Harry more dependent on him?

If so, Quirrel is supremely smart and overwhelmingly advantaged. Harry will have to turn out smarter or Dumbledore kinder, if this game is not to be one-sided.
cibmsodfo9uiglzolzkjd chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Have you ever considered writing fiction? If you haven't, please think about it, if you have, might you please tell us what books you have written?

I really appreciate your flawless(in my opinion) writing style. There was not a single sentence in this chapter, or any other for that matter, that I lost attention due to boredom, as most fanfiction does to me.

Keep up the good work.
Violet Shadows chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Nice closing line.
Luiz4200 chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
"No, I'm in a terrible mood today for no particular reason. Yes I'm serious, you fool! He didn't know. He actually didn't know. I didn't believe it until the Aurors confirmed it under Veritaserum. He is in his sixth year at Hogwarts and he cast a high-level Dark curse without knowing what it did."

Reminds me of the sixth book.

"All he knew was that it was meant to be directed at an enemy. He knew that was all he knew."

Now I'm sure this student found the Half-Blood Prince's book.

Or she could be an Animagus with a tiny form, perhaps. There are tests to rule out such rare possibilities, but to perform all of them would be arduous.

Interesting how you include facts from the books.

That, Harry Potter, is the diary of Roger Bacon."

Harry almost fainted.

Nestled up against the wall, where Professor Quirrell had stumbled, glistened the crushed remains of a beautiful blue beetle.

What's so special about Roger Bacon? And, does Quirrell know he killed Rita Skeeter?

Please update.
Raw Power chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
DUDE! That was -dark-!


I am speechless...

Talk about Mood Whiplash...
me chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
AH! Quirrell killed Rita Skeeter! ...You're right, the world is a little brighter now.

Anyways, that was a particularly good chapter. I also liked the deconstruction of canon events up in the beginning. Very clever.

Please, update soon!
wolf550e chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
"That didn't used to happen" - didn't use to happen
Tamzin Blake chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
"Mary's room" is probably my favorite shout-out so far. Excellent chapter.
jdboss1 chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
here some reivew that some up what i was thikngi

I was expecting the diary to be Tom Riddle's diary but this sounds about as amazing.

ood criticism of the sectumsempra incident from HBP

thestrals still invisible?

just in case Ginny needs to go missing mass not that the headmaster get any bad ideas

Oh. Wow. I've read the last line three or four times and it's the simplest yet most breathtaking death scene I have read in a long time, summed up so very elegantly and spookily because WE KNOW exactly what happened there. No, Harry didn't have to worry about Lucius getting to Skeeter at all

i now gonig to google it bit nvere here of "Roger Bacon" BEFOR

this is easily the best story of 2010 (including professional publications)
ultra dragon chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Awesome, this chapter was epic! the ending was amazing! well i felt like Harry when you described the working of the bank in the wiZarding was scary. oh and goblin can be controled, Harry used unforgivable on one of them in the seventh book so... never mind this, i can't wait to see what else you are planning! (i wonder if Ginny going to thing that the paper was telling the truth...delusion is a very strong thing...) so the dairy is a Horcrux? you know Riddle's diary? or is it a diffrent diary?
Kirino chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
A dead (?) Rita Skeeter is a nice Rita Skeeter.
NihilCredo chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
(assorted compliments i squee a little whenever i get an email update notice bla bla bla)

I was relieved that the diary wasn't Riddle's (or, at least, that it was more than just Riddle's) - this fic is already chewing through canon characters/plot devices at a concerning speed. In part it seems clearly deliberate - let us show the canon subplots as silly and easily solved, that the main plot of Slytherin-esque mind-games may appear more impressive and mature - and there's obviously no intention to follow a pacing anywhere as uniform as Rowling's (nor, probably, to have the story last seven years) but it's nevertheless jarring to see Ron, the Time-Turner, Snape's abuses, and now Rita Skeeter all being dealt with over a handful of updates.

My hope is that you are eventually going to replace the dismissed canon side-shows with new ones drawn from the ranks of the Rowling-neglected. Flitwick as an extremely intelligent but [i]also[/i] extremely emotional (and scheming-averse) authority figure would be an obvious choice, serving as a contrast to both the several Xanatoses and to the über-straight woman McGonagall. Ravenclaw House can also provide plenty of underdeveloped students (as well as scenery), since Draco and Hermione cannot carry the show alone, even with a borderline-aspie Harry needing less socialisation than canon!Harry.
MrRobertsIII chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
You still have the coolest Quirrell ever.

Harry was going to stick around in the middle of the fire until Professor Quirrell got back.

-loved that line.
graynavarre chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
And the world just got a little brighter.

I think that I would faint if someone gave me the diary of Roger Bacon and I would really listen to my Ravenclaw and Slytherin side. The gryffs and the puffs can shut up.
Darth Marrs chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
What better prize for a young rationalist than an original work by Roger Bacon. Very, very nicely done.
threecankeepasecret chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Hooray! A Quirrell chapter!

It's almost hard to believe that Quirrell and Voldemort are the same person- or at least, are on the same person. I'm still trying to figure this out. But it was awesome. Especially the newspaper article.
phoebe turner chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
i loved it!
MiiRsEnd chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Nice, I liked the end of skeeter, and I am hoping for some more information on the prank the twins pulled. Very enjoyable. Also well done on the update rate, very impressive, especially with such a pollished work. I didnt spot a single error.
stalker32 chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Sardonik chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
That was perfect from beginning to end. Perfect tension, perfect punchline.
Gogolu chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Max Knight chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Whoa, you had me there, I really thought the diary was the Riddle Diary. Glad that Rita was crushed lol, one enemy down, a few dozen more to go.

Are you sure the Goblin Banks don't do investments? How else would they be able to get muggle money?

Well hope to see what happens next. Oh and I can't wait to see Hermoine get another one up on poor widdle Harrykins hahaha.
Zicou chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Awesome chapters!


Tiky3000 chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Bye bye Rita. I'm curious as to what the diary will say. I'm totally confused how the Weasley twins pulled it off.
BluWriter chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
For some reason, I keep thinking that the diary Quirrelmort gave Harry is actually the horcrux, and that he had somehow managed to convince his younger soul fragment to pretend to be Bacon.

As always, great story. I look forward to reading more.
CurrentlyIncognito chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Oh! erm. Oh. Crap. Not good. Run, Harry, RUN! though I'm not sure why, yet.
firedraygon chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Uh oh, was Quirrell's little lurch at the end on purpose or an accident? I can't make up my mind...

Haha, nice throwing in of canon at the beginning. And the part about banks is interesting. I wonder how Harry's going to upset the Wizarding market...

Please write more soon!

N chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Whahah fake stumble, anyway I was really scared that it was That diary but this is just amusing though it kinda sounds like a shortcut
uo-chou chapter 26 . 6/16/2010
Holy shit. You sure know how to write a story, don't you? Keep up the excellent work!
deletingaccounttt chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
O_O You are a genius at ending chapters.

This chapter was great! I loved the depths to which Weasley Twins can innovate, lie, and let loose their imagination on a unsuspecting public.

The following made me crack up:

"As Harry left the office, he heard Professor Quirrell humming a small tune.

Harry was glad he'd been been able to cheer him up."

As though he'd been a bit depressed or down or grouchy, and not, you know, in the grip of a towering and frightening rage to which most cannot aspire.

I don't know where the Quirrell subplot is going, but hell, I don't care, the ride is worth not knowing where you're going to end up.
Quincy80 chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Quirrellmort is HARDCORE!

You get 3 bonus points. One for each moment of shock I experienced reading this.
cheekylildevil chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Rest in peace, little Rita-bug, rest in peace... or peices...

Nice to see your standards raised once again,

Cremello chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Go Quirrell! I feel almost sorry for Rita, but only almost. She could have hidden on the ceiling...
Raven3182 chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Interesting chapter. I knew that ending for Rita was coming after Quirrell's departing comment to her in the last chapter. Although, with that action, the story has definately taken a more serious turn; when characters start dying things don't look as funny anymore. It's still a great story though.

You had my brain working overtime for a few mintues there thinking that the diary was the horcrux from CoS and that Quirrell was planning on possessing Harry at this point. I'm glad that that was not the case; it would have broken the mentor relationship that they have going much too soon. And the reference to one of the older students stumbling across the Sectumsempra spell in the Half Blood Prince's book was priceless. Well done.

I look forward to the next update! Thanks for writing!
Nongarak chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Well, that's a very well-aimed stumble. Good chapter, lots of story. I like Quirrell. I must confess, I had to look up Roger Bacon. Seems like a cool guy. Pretty funny chapter. Continue!
Kate chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Fantastic chapter. I love your descriptions of Quirrelmort being the scariest man ever, and the sense of DOOM emanating from him, and the whole 'If a fire started, Harry was just going to stand in the middle of it until Quirrelmort came back'. Buying food for Harry? Stealing him books by ROGER BACON? HE IS UP TO SOMETHING NOT GOOD. LOL at his awe of the Weasley Twins.
DarkRubberNeck chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
This Quirrellmort is weird _
msilverstar chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
I'm so enjoying this, as Harry makes years-worth of both progress and mistakes in a few weeks. And the Weasleys being an excellent value for money!

PS "waittress" should be "waitress"
fontgoddess chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
"Harry hadn't thought about what would happen to Rita Skeeter afterward.

"At all.

"Not in the slightest.

"But she would get fired from her job, of course she would be fired, she might have children going through Hogwarts for all Harry knew, and now it was worse, much worse - "

This thought (or lack of thought), the horrific and chilling characterization of Quirrel/Voldemort, Harry's acceptance of what is most certainly a tempting and even damning horcrux, and the cold, literal crushing of Rita Skeeter has made this chapter incredibly dark and disturbing.

Please follow this chapter with a little something that doesn't require the disclaimer "abandon all hope ye who enter here." I don't want the rest of the fic to be Draco becoming a puppy breeder, but some hope, humor, and lightness to counter the extreme emotional bleakness of this chapter would be much appreciated by this reader. I mean, I'm no fan of Rita Skeeter, but being crushed by Voldy's bare hand is particularly cold. I honestly couldn't be more horrified by this than if he had strangled her. This is partially a compliment to your skill as a writer and partially a small note to say that I will have to spend some time on cuteoverload before I will be able to sleep tonight.
csad21 chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
[ "Is Dumbledore refusing to expel him because the poor boy didn't know?" ]

*grr* *That* is the reason I hate that man so much. Imagine all the fun we could have in real life with such an headmaster. The indignant parents alone would rip him to shreds.

[ Nestled up against the wall, where Professor Quirrell had stumbled, glistened the crushed remains of a beautiful blue beetle. ]

Yay! Well done, Quirrel! One vulture gotten rid of. :)

Oh, and Harry fainting at hearing about the diary belonging to *Roger Bacon*? *laughs* The poor dear. Can anyone blame him?
anon chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Character death! This is freaking me out gah!
farwalker chapter 26 . 6/15/2010

she was in the room.

I wasn't expecting roger Bacon. I was expecting the diary from COS. good job!

I love this Harry!
unnamed2 chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
gwern, check Chapter 25, Act 6. Skeeter had received an anonymous tip about business happening in Mary's Room, presumably from Quirrell himself.
yesimahuman chapter 26 . 6/15/2010

Bad diary. BAADDD diary of Tom Riddle. Bad Bad Bad.

You've got us on the edge of our seats here. The dramatic irony is killing me.
Majin Hentai X chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Did you just kill Rita Skeeter.

More importantly did you just give Harry, THE MAGIC DIARY OF ROGER BACON.

I'm not a pundit on famous scientist, but I did read Doctor Mirabilis along with the rest of the After Such Knowledge trilogy. This is going to have massive ramifications for this story.

I'm guessing its rather unlikely to function like the horcrux.

It occurs to that the wizarding worlds implied atheism is bizzare since they have confirmation that the human soul exists or something akin to it can be observed.

Enough rambling get writing you rationalist, though an explanation of how Professor Riddle came to be would be excellent. For it occurs to me that Professor Riddle wouldn't have made the same blunder as Lord Voldermort.

I have a semi plausible theory but I will not post it with this review in case it is a spoiler if you wish to know ask me.

This is Majin Hentai X signing out.

Good night and thank you for not writing yaoi.
badkidoh chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Yet another great chapter so I'm looking forward to your next update.
NinjaHarryPotter4life chapter 26 . 6/15/2010

update soon.

-Ninja :)
SylvanSpirit chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
oh wow. there goes rita :D and i am so confused. i fully expected it to be riddle's diary - unless it is, and quirrels just being manipulative. which brings me to the next point, quirrel is "possessed" by voldemort riight?
gwern chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Well, you didn't just walk out on friends when they were feeling down.

You know, at first I was skeptical, but throughout this chapter, they do seem to be becoming genuine friends. A warped friendship though.

And that had been enough to cast the spell. "I do not understand how anything with that small a brain could walk upright."

Glad to see the digs at Rowling are getting subtler. Had to think for a moment to understand the reference.

"You are the scariest person I know," Harry said, "and one of the top reasons for that is your control. I simply can't imagine hearing that you'd hurt someone you had not made a deliberate decision to hurt."

Oh yes, there's some of that irony the author's note mentioned.

Harry had stood up, turned away, and rested his head against the wall.

I wonder if you aren't over-exaggerating the primitiveness of the wizarding world; doesn't Harry invest in Fred & George's jokeshop? That doesn't sound like a world with no concept of equity.

How can the old noble families maintain their wealth? Certainly they aren't farming immense ancient tracts of land.

"Miss Skeeter will flee and start her life over with a new name."

Oh the ironing!

Professor Quirrell held up a cautioning finger, then took out his wand again, locked the door again, and repeated three of the same Charms from earlier.

Originally, I was confused how Quirrell could have known or arranged for Skeeter to be there. The second time through, I noticed that Quirrell, after killing Skeeter, has omitted a charm. So apparently he simply lied to Harry when he implied that he hadn't checked for Animagi - one of the charms was just that.
Wolfric chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Good chapter. Thanks for writing. W.
Loonynamelass chapter 26 . 6/15/2010

Also, loved Harry's internal-house-battle.

But, again- RITA SKEETER? She's abominable, but still! :'(
JoshuaZ chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Amazing again. I can't wait to find out how the twins pulled that off. The last line comes across as a real shock.

I was expecting the diary to be Tom Riddle's diary but this sounds about as amazing.

Overall, another well done chapter.
what are you even saying chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Oh, so Rita Skeeter will be safe, then, because she's a gaudy, ugly creature...Isn't she?

The Twins are true masters of their art. And so are you. How many of these rationalist anecdotes have you got? Or are you making them up as you go along? I honestly don't know which one I'd be more impressed with.
ejhawman chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
This one felt more like the early chapters. Plenty of humor, quick reasoning.

Good criticism of the sectumsempra incident from HBP; I've seen very few others address Harry's failing there. Of course, THIS Harry wouldn't be so stupid.

The behavior of the inkwell: a bit of misdirection? Sounded like a Horcrux, being destroyed by a very small cast of Fiendfyre, but there are other enchantments causing temporary sentience.

The fake rumor: supposed to be outrageous? Relative to the what the wizarding world knows, maybe. I'm jaded by seeing a lot of marriage law stories. The analysis of the rumor's likelihood: much like what I would have done. Quirrel's eventual deduction: Not unfair, he is reasonably intelligent and is in a position to guess what Harry has to work with.

The goblins not knowing about financial and economic instruments and concepts postdating the Statue of Secrecy, I could see. But the stuff mentioned here, particularly joint-stock companies, date from the middle ages. Your story, your call; but the books do not require goblin banking be so basic, and many good stories make the assumption they are a full-service bank.

Alas, poor Rita. Didn't even get as far as getting fired by Lucius. Too close to the truth. Gives ideas, though...

More misdirection with the diary: not Voldemort's own, but you had him make one different Horcrux, I wouldn't be surprised if all the others were as well. But now I have to see what you think Bacon would have found out about magic without a proper education.
Mac Ceallach chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
I loved the poke at the Sectusempra scene in HBP, and at the safety issues of the series in general. The 'torturing the inkpot' was an interesting touch. And your take on the twin-ness, and their motive for befriending Harry. I am currently dying of curiosity about the Twin's plan, and look forward to when that will be revealed however many chapters from now. And Quirrel just... just... damn. Allowed himself the pleasure of simply crushing her. After taunting her and deflecting Harry's suspicion for her upcoming disappearance on first herself and then Lucius Malfoy.

Those were my favorite parts from two fabulous chapters. Thank you!
burtikus chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Test of awesomeness - passed. Kind of wrecked the distribution, actually. Love this story.
He Who Rules With an Iron Hoof chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
I wonder... Now that Harry has witnessed a human (in beetle form) get squashed, are thestrals still invisible? They should be, magic happens regardless of what you know, and even if he doesn't know she was killed, he still saw it. So he should see thestrals because he has seen death(unknowingly)
SaintPeter chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
"6th year Gryffindor attack 6th year Slytherin"

Could someone enlighten me to the reference? It's been a while since I've read the originals.

Also - Awesome, amazing story. I love it. Everytime I get an update I squee like a little girl and drop everything to read it. Keep up the good work.
DarkHeart81 chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
I wonder what the fallout will be from the fake article about Harry. Or at least I'm assuming that that was the one that Fred and George came up with. I'm not sure if I'm glad that Skeeter is dead now or not. Almost seems too easy an end to her.
MisterQ chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Truly Excellent! 'Just a fainting spell', indeed. If Quirrell is still hosting Voldemort, he is much, much, MUCH smarter than the 'there is not good or evil, just power...' one in canon. Even including the 'Harry as a Ravenclaw would need a different approach than a Griffindor Harry'; Mr. 'Just a battle wizard' Quirrell is getting a bit close to the hero.

I've seen goblins done many ways - one; where they are actually intelligent enough to run a 'bank' bank, and make profit from the disparity between the magical and muggle worlds. Where they put charms on the currency to prevent muggles from melting them down or even noticing the coins, and make note for possible future employment of any child that asks them about the whole selling galleons for their weight in gold to muggles and exchanging the cash back into galleons.

I've also seen them portrayed as cold-hearted mercenaries based on the betrayal in the last book. These goblins charge interest and fees for EVERYTHING, will steal your cash for almost any pretense, and cause misery via economic warfare since the other kind is currently forbidden to them. Wizards still bank with them because either most of them are ignorant sheeple and/or there is no other place in the wizard world to put your money with perceived 'safety'.

I wonder if Harry would figure out the source of magic. Is it Atlantis? Aliens? The Ascended? Goddess Hecate? Or Subjective Reality (where magic works the way it does because enough magical people believe that it does so their unconscious accidental magic makes it so)? Or is it something else? And what tests will Harry create to prove his hypotheses?

Can't wait to see where this story goes!
ByLanternLight chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
/You have created a story in which I am rooting for an evil Voldemort./ I /never/ want the bad guy to win. This is simply astounding writing and execution of character. 6/5.
Arkeus chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
bye skeeter, and i wouldn't mind a shadow hearts cross.
LacrimosaDiesIlla chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
He actually killed Rita? o

I'm loving all of these references to the original plotline (6th year Gryffindor attack 6th year Slytherin with unknown curse, etc. Harry and Ginny LOL)
J-Kid chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Oh. Wow. I've read the last line three or four times and it's the simplest yet most breathtaking death scene I have read in a long time, summed up so very elegantly and spookily because WE KNOW exactly what happened there. No, Harry didn't have to worry about Lucius getting to Skeeter at all . . . . 0.o
enderverse chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Thats pretty awesome. Read his wikipedia page right after reading this.
Lord Dragon Claw chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Well, Rita's dead.

Roger Bacon. Seven puns come to mind because of that name, and only two of them are about what he's famous for.
SevereWrath chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Hah! And to think I naively thought it was Riddle's diary!

Unless it is.
outlawpoet chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Doctor Mirabilis!

That was such a massively entertaining reveal I very nearly missed the last line of the story in my haste to tab over to my reference pages to try and predict where, how, and in what sense you are going to use this new historical character.

Also, cold as ice dude. Unknown curses by sixth years? Real subtle.

Great job having Quirrel's main moment of badassness being 'reading really fast'. In bad hands that would be silly, but you managed to couch it right, and it does sounds awesome.
Mother of Tears chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Oops. There goes Rita Skeeter!

I'm intrigued by all the interaction between Harry and Quirrell. Quirrell harbors the Dark lord and Harry has possible future dark lord tendencies. He'd better watch his step...
SomeGuyFawkes chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
You forgot to mention that first the "sixth-year Slytherin" cast an un-freaking forgivable - a potentially worse than lethal spell.

}} "If you have not dealt with journalists before, take it from me that the world gets a little brighter every time one dies."

:) Excellent LOL material.
hentai18ancilla chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Yes! Rita is dead-hopefully. And everyone will think she fled in ignominy from her written falsehoods.
Maxwell Gray chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
oh my, Doctor Mirabilis, a wizard? well I'll be.
Anonymous123987 chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Pretty sneaky, Sis! You fixed the typo about the metal plate before I could even comment on it.
mylittlehazmat chapter 26 . 6/15/2010
Just thought you ought to know you have an error in the paragraph explaining the physics class teacher thing with the hot plate yadda yadda ...

You say that they felt that the bit of plate nearer the fire was warmer, and the part farther from the fire was colder ... which makes sense. It's supposed to be the other way around.

You threw me off for like, 30 seconds trying to figure out why the heck they were baffled by the plate being hot closest to the heat. Awesome.