Reviews for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Rajarshi chapter 27 . 12/6
This was by far the most beautiful chapter I have read so far in this story. As an atheist whose entire ethics is based on empathy, I find my deepest beliefs somehow reflected here.
I especially love the last two lines.
Guest chapter 27 . 10/30
Really getting into this now. I’m very impressed with the author as I’m held spellbound (sic) by parts of the story. It’s a pity they don’t publish something themselves. Or maybe they have. Other parts of the story big the flow down a little but seem a necessary part of the whole. I’m still enjoying it.
David Farrant
WhiteDragonWarrior chapter 27 . 9/22
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Also, do we have any idea who the tutor is? Because I feel like this is bound to be some feeding information with Quirell, or someone else along those lines.
Bumbledorf chapter 27 . 8/13
"You had to stay and fight."

God damn such a good way to end a chapter
namisnakama chapter 27 . 6/28
I love the story so far! great insights and the story really makes me reflect!but I do wonder why Snape snapped that way. I mean wouldn't he be relieved that he is different from James and lily? or is he simply too hung up on the past? threatening Harry after he basically defended his p.o.v. just seems unfair?! -but then again Snape never really was fair.. mh
Brian chapter 27 . 6/4
I'll admit, this chapter was absolutely brilliant, I've just spent the past 4 hours reading up to here and I don't think I've ever seen anything like this before.
CharlemagneFF chapter 27 . 4/7
I'm glad I decided to read this again. The first two times, I hadn't watched Babylon 5 recently enough to catch the reference. There have been other things I've noticed for first time on this read-through, but that is the one I've appreciated the most so far.
ack1308 chapter 27 . 4/6
Wow, Harry learns some home truths.

Eeesh.
Penguinjava chapter 27 . 12/12/2016
Personally, I feel the same about Lily - rather shallow and married for money. But then I'm a big Snape fan, in spite of his ways...
Silver1226 chapter 27 . 11/22/2016
I still think my favourite part was that the Quibbler one was kind of true. he did say he would marry Luna, just to protect her from Draco xD
Memo chapter 27 . 11/15/2016
I believe Rodolphus is Bellatrix'es husband, and Rabastan is her brother-in-law.
Daziy is SoniQ chapter 27 . 10/24/2016
That last part was so intense I almost forgot to ask something. Will it ever be explained how exactly the twins did what they did?
Rambling Drabble chapter 27 . 9/25/2016
1. Lesath sure does know how to grovel, doesn't he?
2. Snape is such a deep character in this fic. He's the perfect balance of broken and brilliant, and a very important player in the game no less.
3. I love it when the differences between Quirrell and Harry are clarified.
blood-doll-aishiteru chapter 27 . 9/18/2016
Harry's got to have some deeper reason to be so obsessed with being god, to make everything alright for everyone, plus his empathy is not a gift many have naturally. There simply has to be one.
sunset oasis chapter 27 . 9/3/2016
Harry and Severus's conversation ... that was deeply moving. And insightful and interesting
Fathskie chapter 27 . 8/2/2016
Damn you're focusing in all the right elements...
Happy chapter 27 . 5/26/2016
So good!
Pancakes chapter 27 . 4/28/2016
This story is deeply unsettling and strange, with a sort of intensity at times that makes me want to close the tab and never read it again. But I don't, because it intruiges me. Because it resonates with me on some level. The hopes and fears of harry disturb me because they remind me so much of myself

Warning: long rambling relevant but self identified existential crises ahead. My sentances are a bit long. I indulged myself, I will admit. Feel free to just scroll down and read the TD;LR

Being smart and compassionate is terrifying. You know you have the ability to change lives, but, as harry realizes again and again, this ability is as dangerous as it is useful. People are fragile creatures, easily triggered, and even the best intention can come undone and spawn horrible results.

Not to mention the general population is stupid, god help us. It's so stupid that it keeps me awake some nights. Its so relentlessly ignorant that the average joe will argue relentlessly about small largely personally unimportant issues like other peoples' sexual alignments while ignoring the dangerous signs the earth is giving us about climate change. (Why are people so casual about the fact the entire earth has warmed an entire degree!? Don't they understand how fragile life is on our planet?) It's why people flock to polarized leaders that shout their way is the only way instead of quieter leaders who would promise compromise on all issues. I speak to a person, telling them what I think is obvious and it goes straight over their head so easily... It's lonely. It's frightening.

I study history for a living. It's horrible to look back and see every mistake, all the blood spilled because people were too stupid to see better ways of handling things.
At the same time, though, to be an incredibly smart person in a crowd of average is not a good thing. You are alone in the world. The percentage of people smart enough to be quick while still grasping empathatic intelligence is too low for my tastes. You get cocky. Or you understate yourself too much, afraid to feel invincible, recognizing it to be a lie.

I know there must be those smarter than me. But my intelligence has always scared me. It first made itself known when i was about four or five years old. My grandfather had died. I had never known death before then. I realized what it was all at once, with a startling clarity that still haunts me from time to time, which dogs my every step the with fragile truth of Life. I was perpetually bored though my entire schooling. I didn't want to learn the basics of math, preferring long division, integers and multiplication before even attempting to memorize the answers to addition and subtraction back in elementary school because it was too easy. Which sounds weird, but sums me up well. Easyness bores me to tears.
My sister is a computer engineer, and when she has a problem with her equations she goes to me for help, because she knows that after a brief explanation of what the math she is using is, I will be able to solve her problem despite my last math class being in grade 12 more than half a decade ago.
Why did I go into history then? I became afraid, afraid of myself and what I could do. I realized as I grew up that I could make someone do whatever I wanted them to do, if I bothered to put in any effort. I could get any outcome I wanted from almost anything. Much like how Harry seems to find he can do most anything, though the repercussions of some of those manipulations perfectly highlights why I try to avoid consciously doing so myself.

The level of control I could have over people terrified me. If someone tried to control me in such a way I would feel violated, and resent them for trying to manipulate me. I didn't want to be that kind of person. And in the academics, I was afraid to find those smarter than me and discover my struggle was worthless and abnormal... And as presumptuous as it sounds (and believe me, I know it is too presumptuous), I was also afraid
I wouldn't find someone smarter. That I would discover I am the smartest. That I was alone.
Even if it's a silly fear. It's far more likely that I am smarter than average but not the smartest. But, rather unlike Draco Malfoy, I know the consequences of testing a hypothesis that could give me such a dangerous conclusion.
For to be above everyone means to be utterly alone in an existance where human connections is a vital part of life.

Instead, I chose ignorance. I chose subjects that would not engage my intellect, that would make me admire those who learned the sciences and maths and pretend we were on the same level of intellect, or that they are smarter, and that it had nothing to do with my own lack of knowledge. It's a false safety, one that wobbles dangerously whenever I point out an easy solution they never considered, or ask a question they had not, in their many years studying the subject, asked themselves or others. It shames me every day and drove me to depression to force ignorance onto myself. I question my choice every day. To see if I am ready to dare the world to show me the truth. To embrace myself and see what I make, what the world will accept from me. Someday, I will give in. Someday I will chose not to be stupid anymore.

Today I will continue to distract myself from the maddening truth of the fragility of life and the inevitability of death (at this time in history). To pretend others understand my way of thinking. And to ignore the ignorant and stupidly selfish actions of those who hurt each other.

Sorry to ramble. I have some hope that others that feel this way will read this, and feel a little less alone. Or perhaps I just wanted to tell someone.

Author... Thank you. Every chapter makes me either doubt my sanity, laugh, or go into some sort of reflective existential crises. And I can't help but be greatful for it.

TD;LR
I like this story. It's funny. It's dusturbing. You did a great job and in the process made me question my life and why I live as I do. Thank you.
The Anguished One chapter 27 . 4/21/2016
I don't know what I love most, Neville defending Lestrange, Harry making another speech breaking the bullies' wills, or Severus having a metal breakdown from Harry unknowingly explaining why his parents were rotten people and that Snape deserved better.
Abhimanyu C chapter 27 . 3/9/2016
I have enjoyed the story upto this point. The writer is clearly very intelligent and clever. I disagree a lot with Harry's ideas but that doesn't mean I dislike him. The mysteries and identifiable patterns are intriguing.
But what in the living HELL was that part about Harry leaving Hermione after Snape had belittled her? There have been a number of complaints about this fic being anti-feminist and I am ignoring all of that.
Harry has stated earlier that he despises when children are treated as sub-humans. Putting a child in their place is not more important that getting the job done. I'm paraphrasing but that was the summary.
Snape had just demeaned Hermione as a person and as a girl and she didn't want to Harry to leave, and he still went anyway! WTF man!
I get this Harry is not as loyal as JKR's Harry but he should have told Snape to stuff it and stayed on principle.
Seriously OOC stuff there man. Bugged me to no end. This and the whole first date thing with Harry losing the bet are my only annoyances.
Everything else is (and I dont like admitting this) masterfully done.
Guest chapter 27 . 3/6/2016
"certain kind of teenage girl who'll be outraged by a single insult if the boy is plain or poor,"

You were so angry- or seemed it- when accused of being sexist with this story. But these sorts of little imbalances are not uncommon. I realise Harry's opinion is not yours, but well, this is a norm that is difficult to pick for the average reader. Rephrasing it as "teenager... crush/teenager/person" would not change much within the fic and would not confirm binary gender stereotypes.
Guest chapter 27 . 2/15/2016
I'm going with the assumption here that Harry doesn't represent the opinions of the author:

It's frightening how very wrong Harry is about James, Lily and Snape. It magnifies his incredible naiveté and lack of experience when he claims that it should be easier to forgive your friends. Just imagine being black and your best friend calls you the N-word in anger. It's probably an irredeemable/unforgivable offence and in the case of Snape it's even worse: He isn't just a "casual" racist, he actually joined a cult that actively tries to eradicate those people that they see as sub-human (or even of lesser than animals). Lily possibly could have made excuses or rationalisations about him before this encounter, but at this point it must have hit her like a ton of bricks. Disengaging from Snape isn't shallow, it shows a strong moral character with principles (it's a really hard thing to do: Disassociating from family or friends that you grew up with). James and the Marauders might have been cruel (as teenagers), which is certainly behaviour that should be corrected, but at their core they were essentially good.

No, the world isn't black and white, but Snapes alignment was as "evil" as it can get when distilling ethics into these simple categories. It doesn't matter that you are nice to puppies or hold the door open for the girl that you are obsessed with (can't really call it love, considering the circumstances), when your core beliefs center around genocide and enslavement: Death Eaters murder, torture, and rape "mudbloods" with glee. Being mean to a racist asshole - and possibly pushing him more towards the dark by doing so - is really quite a trivial offense in comparison.

"Mudblood" isn't just any curse-word that you accidentally call your friend in anger like "dickhead" and can apologize for later. Merely having this word in your vocabulary exposes everything about your character and destroys any kind of trust that could have existed. It doesn't matter that he tried to apologize... how could he even begin to apologize? "I'm sorry that I called you a mudblood?". It doesn't really matter what he said, it matters what he believes. The only possible way that he could apologize is by completely reforming his life (leaving the Death Eaters, denouncing the Dark Lord, etc), but he wasn't willing to do that, was he? He just wanted to win the girl by trying to placate her and I'm sure Lily saw right through these pathetic attempts at emotional manipulation.
Guest chapter 27 . 2/5/2016
weasley twins. A cuckoo-clock. And a SEX TOY! ha-ha ha-ha ha-ha ha- ha-ha ha- ha-ha ha-ha! Peed my knickers in public reading that one u bad man. Jen F.T.
Guest chapter 27 . 2/5/2016
Whoa Chapter 27 is DEEP! And totally awesome. Some of the best writing I've ever seen.
nanaeleanor chapter 27 . 2/1/2016
I'm surprised by many comments about Harry and Snapes talk. Regarding the hypothetical bully, girl and victim, Snape left out an awful lot of information. Lily wasn't in the slightest bit attracted to James at that point. She referred to him as a toe rag. But she had at the same time become increasingly unhappy with the direction Severus was heading, as in DeathEater wannabe. His calling her a mudblood was the last straw in a long line of offenses that culminated in her ending their friendship. Her eventual attraction to James developed over the next two years as he matured. Most canon sources suggest that Lily was anything but shallow. The choices both young men made for themselves resulted in her preference for James. I am surprised to see so many reviewers gleeful over Harry outing his mum as a shallow minded gold digger.
Guest chapter 27 . 1/30/2016
She was shallow, get over her. Priceless.
Montara chapter 27 . 1/22/2016
I think Severus could have been more tactful in telling Harry the truth about his parents, especially since he just saved one of his 'children'. But, I think it was the shock of finally finding out why Lily did what she did...

Great ploy to save Lestrange :) And Neville...so brave!
WatchingTheWatchman chapter 27 . 12/6/2015
The occlumency exercises resemble the mask work from Keith Johnstone's book Impro. I don't know if that's deliberate, but it's interesting.

I really like Neville in this chapter, he's a good, courageous kid. Facing up to those bullies, despite the terror, is awesome.
Guest chapter 27 . 11/6/2015
oh my god this chapter
Gleas chapter 27 . 10/23/2015
There was also one more important piece missing from Snape's story... His words confirmed to Lily that he was indeed a Death-eater or a sympathizer which hurt her more than any amount of bullying James could have done since Severus was her friend. In turn, James fought for the light, hence managed to insert himself as her 'knight' of sorts and According to cannon James; own loss of his parents changed him to a serious man. It is also possible that had she not died, Lily would have eventually forgiven the man who in the end turned from the dark... just saying... since we are talking rationality and all.

The whole picture is not available and the conclusions are actually not at all conclusive. There may be a thousand different variables that the two did not touch upon...
ShadowLDrago chapter 27 . 10/16/2015
Wow, that's, one hell of a way to Deconstruct Harry's supposed ability to make anything happen by snapping his fingers... But, hate to say it Lesath, but, Bellatrix WAS the second most evil person alive, and still is, I know she's your mother, I get that, but, trust me, considering she Cruciatused Neville's parents to insanity just to find out what happened to Volemort because they were Aurors, you don't want her as a mother, heck, freaking Mother Gothel from Tangled is a better mother!
P. P. P chapter 27 . 9/13/2015
Shit, this was uplesant, it was well written though. Not that I'm an expert on such things.
Guest chapter 27 . 8/31/2015
ouch. you broke snape...
Zyxis chapter 27 . 8/13/2015
I liked this chapter just like I have liked each chapter of this fanfic. But this one gave me FEEEEEEEELSSSS. ;~; I must keep reading. Good job with Severus btw. I liked what you did with his character.
LOVE Ben Drowned chapter 27 . 8/10/2015
I love this but I feel so sad for snake ! I hope you write another story 3
kabs chapter 27 . 7/12/2015
this was so emotional it literally made me cry
nytelios chapter 27 . 6/17/2015
Beautiful touch to Snape and Harry's relationship and an intense contrast at the end between Harry's humane resolution and Quirrell's cynical detachment.

Only one teeny thing irks the rational part of me. It seems highly unlikely that Harry would come to the "best guess" conclusion that it was his father who tried to save Snape from the bullies, when every detail in their conversation before Harry realized they were talking about Snape himself points to Lily as the focus.
Concolor44 chapter 27 . 5/23/2015
Baby FURCOT?! How the HELL did they get a FURCOT?!

Also: Kimball Kinnison. When Harry DOES finally advance to understanding the basic theories of magic, he'd give Kim a run for his money. (Love-love-LOVE your little references!)

Holy. Freaking. Spit.
That's arguably the most INTENSE reveal of James Potter's abuse of Severus I've ever read. Possibly the most intense anywhere.
Gradus chapter 27 . 5/21/2015
Can I just say that this chapter has some of the best writing I've ever seen in fanfiction; no, it has some of the best writing I've seen period. There is Power and Truth in these words that speak to me very deeply.

Thank you for releasing this into the world.
PA chapter 27 . 5/20/2015
Snape's suuuuper scary. But everytime I see him, I enjoy it.
cztelnik chapter 27 . 3/28/2015
Is Azkaban worse than solitary confinement and life sentences?
K I PATEL chapter 27 . 3/26/2015
I'm only 27 chapters through your epic re-imagination of the potter world, and I just want to say thank you! It is a pleasure to read and has given me the joy of experiencing a version of the Potter world for the first time again. I hope you get this, and understand that I am very thankful that you decided to create this fanfic.
Village-Mystic chapter 27 . 3/22/2015
Wow, the introduction of science fiction novel motifs here is very interesting.
4everfictional chapter 27 . 3/14/2015
Yes, yes you do.
Berlin chapter 27 . 3/8/2015
Ehm... Ehh... Ehhhhghghhhhhhhh... The conversation with Harry and Sev was just like meep... Bloody awesome, but, urgh, so sad, um, I'm sorry, I need sleep...
Krysania chapter 27 . 3/5/2015
Harry's heart is in the right place but both Dumbledore and Voldemort created this mess believing/wanting to be gods. Its not going to do any good to Harry or the world to follow their "fine" example...
Ferm chapter 27 . 3/2/2015
you should see snape's brilliance.. His act, his hatred of the boy who killed his master :). Not that he didn't hate him, but the cartoonish mistreatment was the work of Severus the spy..

nice chap.
LauraDragon chapter 27 . 2/20/2015
O.o *brain shuts down from lack of comprehension* HOW ARE YOU SO AWESOME!?
hemerocallis chapter 27 . 2/18/2015
Lily did not throw over Snape for money and good looks. She never had a romantic interest in Snape. Snape projected back even before Hogwarts, in his treatment of Pansy, that he just isn't a very lovable personality. At Hogwarts, Snape embraced Slytherin, making him an even less acceptable love interest for Lily.

Lily did react negatively to James' bullying of Snape. She definitely did not like bullies. Rowling really gives little hint of what eventually drew Lily to James. That seems just one of those strange JKR things, like Ron ending up with Hermione.

Snape in this current story pretty much tricks Harry into the reaction he gives. Harry is still fairly new to Hogwarts. He has shown little of his mother's sensitivity. He reacts as if it would be nothing big or causing a grudge if he were called a Mudblood. But that term has no visceral meaning to him, other than it having been applied to Hermione and he reacted almost not at all to that. He hasn't himself been called Mudblood and hasn't experienced Slytherin harassment as a Mudblood for multiple terms. Really, the shallowness and lack of sensitivity here is on this story's version of Harry, not on JKR's version of Lily. Lily had been at Hogwarts long enough and been called Mudblood enough to know exactly what it meant and to know that a supposed friend was labeling her as a lower caste, biological inferior. That is not something to be casually forgiven.
TheSilenceIsVast chapter 27 . 2/17/2015
I'm sorry, but you're making my brain hurt. I'm exceedingly smart and can't even understand half the stuff here. Sorry, but I probably won't read anymore.
sillivan chapter 27 . 2/17/2015
Y'know, that's the problem I had with the movie. The books indicate something entirely different. Awesome story.
philharmony chapter 27 . 12/30/2014
Kill the Azkaban! You're such a good writer! I'll just drool and make some unintelligible noises now. Grthsmrblrbblrb.
GingerHannah chapter 27 . 12/29/2014
Oh. That was so interesting. Snape's story an then Harry's opinion without knowing whi was involved was just great. Well done!
Dagger-Seishin chapter 27 . 12/7/2014
It seems silly but I kinda agree with Harry's last theory dad was a bully mom was shallow. It's not nessisarily always that way in there case but sense we really only had small amounts of that actual relationship it's very possible.
xikum chapter 27 . 11/30/2014
Whoa. I found myself holding my breath at points. That perspective on Lily, James and Severus was one I never had even thought of, much less considered what the impact was on Harry. And on Severus as well.
Sensei200 chapter 27 . 10/27/2014
When I do a good round of reading this, I find it hard to immerse myself in the real world again. It's like reading Harry Potter all over again except five times better!
Jacob chapter 27 . 9/19/2014
Harry is wrong when he said "If he were a friend, all the more reason to forgive him" ... well not wrong per se, but in reality, hurtful words from close friends carry much more impact than hurtful words from strangers.
thepkrmgc chapter 27 . 8/2/2014
good on Harry for finding something worth fighting for, and go snape for talking with harry about Lilly instead of taking it out on her kid
RipleyNost chapter 27 . 7/8/2014
Loved the lines about the good people and books, that was beautiful in a very simple way.

I felt annoyed by the interpretation Harry provides about his mother, but at least it means hé can be wrong when it comes to social oppressions ? I don't know, and the way Snape reacts could tell us that he saw himself in Harry trying to blame Lily... Anyway this was both intense and crual, I just hope he will change his mind and think about it, so he can get rid of this irrelevant 'friendzoned' point of view on Lily/severus relationship.
Jesper chapter 27 . 7/6/2014
Mm how sad and melodramatic. Amd true. I liked it.
Alia chapter 27 . 6/23/2014
Secondary school.
Uraharaisgod chapter 27 . 6/8/2014
...oh good god, Harry just broke Snape, didn't he? He just destroyed that small illusion of hope he was under, and may or may not have destroyed any hope there was for redemption. He turned Snape's small illusion of perfection and love into hate. I think the only reason Snape didn't kill Harry there and then was in some tiny gratitude of finally revealing the truth and showing how much of his life he wasted in doing something a stupid as loving and mourning his mother when it seems the great depth of character Lily had was in the end nothing but a shallow girl attracted to money and good looks, and thus why she could *forgive* James so easily despite his many faults, yet not Snape who only made one tiny mistake in shame/rage/embarrassment. Snape had nothing to give her, James was rich/powerful/good looking.

She threw Snape aside just for that at the first opportunity.

Something tells me Snape is no longer under any debt to Dumbledore, and Dumbledore has lost his little spy to darkness once more. He no longer has any reason to care for Lily and thus her progeny, and will return to Voldermort's side...

Wow, you really do plot twists well, Snape's fall back to darkness was so...quiet yet absolute...
silverrain-shiningsun chapter 27 . 5/17/2014
"Not that I've ever been through high school myself, but my books give me to understand that there's a certain kind of teenage girl who'll be outraged by a single insult if the boy is plain or poor, yet who can somehow find room in her heart to forgive a rich and handsome boy his bullying. She was shallow, in other words. Tell whoever it was that she wasn't worthy of him and he needs to get over it and move on and next time date girls who are deep instead of pretty." Oops.
poteau chapter 27 . 5/10/2014
Severus, honestly? You really dont get why lily couldnt have forgiven you? Actually, it was not at all about whether to forgive you, you know. It was about whether she can stay your friend with good conscience, or in one piece(that is, in terms of mentality rather than of body). I believe forgiveness is always about choice, but when abuse -whether it being mental or physical- or violence came into play, you run the hell away from him. Just as Ms Rowling did, when she decided she wont let her ex-husband abuse her or her baby anymore. Lily was not merely hurt by your words. She realized you really are one of those violent racist terrorists. Of course, she MIGHT have chosen to stay even then, but i honestly dont think it would have been a good idea.
Arabella Lee Smith chapter 27 . 4/10/2014
THAT is one clever way of not having to describe how the twins managed Harry's task.

Wow, what a grim turn this tale has taken. Azkaban, sucks the happiness right out of a chapter. But I love this story.
IXAthenaeum chapter 27 . 2/8/2014
Ahhh, deep chapter ; A ;
Tra chapter 27 . 1/20/2014
No. Just no. Lily Potter née Evans was kind. She was loving. She was brave, and clever, and strong, and everything else a Gryffindor should be.

But never, ever, was she shallow. If you honestly think that she married James for MONEY, then you really don't understand their relationship at all.

The reason she left Snape for James was that he was prepared to grow up a bit for her, to defend her, and to put her before anything else - even his closest friends. Unlike Snape.

Snape was a bitter, dark and lustful individual. He actively chose to follow the social trend of ' All Slytherins being Death Eaters.' He held silly, childhood grudges against James and Sirius. He was nonchalant towards the Dark leanings of his friends, Avery and Mulciber; and to Lily's objection of his unhealthy obsession with the Dark Arts. And in the end, he paid for his mistakes. As he deserved.

Lily Potter chose James for love! Not ever, ever for money!
Grizzmon chapter 27 . 1/13/2014
And so in the end, Harry is a hero despite himself.
CMVreud chapter 27 . 12/30/2013
Is there some sort of clever something like "You should not think everything is about you!"?
Right in the same line with "Don't blame on cruelty what could be explained on idioty!"?
Be3 chapter 27 . 12/27/2013
Does it make Petunia selfish and vain, since she blackmailed her sister into giving her 'artificial' beauty?
Dawn Darkling chapter 27 . 12/12/2013
Wow (I say that a lot, don't I?) These exchanges between HP and the other characters this chapter have been brilliant. I absolutely enjoyed reading them transpire.
Faim de Lou chapter 27 . 11/25/2013
Your story is truly awesome. And my English-speaking abilities are not able to express it in any way. I am writing this review here because this is where I just stopped riding the French translation and yet I feel very sorry I cannot express how much I am pleased to read such a smart fanfiction. It is too bad our French fandom authors don't highlight this kind of stuff... Too bad too that I do not have enough knowledge to fully follow Harry's reasoning about psychology.

Before reading your story, I was stuck in this stupid trick of mind that most of Harry Potter's reader must had thought like me, that is trying to put simpler or less scientific explanations behind magic. I was fully wrong and I feel so young thinking of it. The way you made use of your theories is awesome. I never thought this far about time loops (it is about when you made Harry trapped by Draco) and your theory about the origins of magic are quite astonishing).

I could continue complimenting you but I guess it is not interesting, most when I would be the umpteenth one to repeat.

So I have a few observations to give even if this all must have already been said.

First I ignore if this detail is due to the translation _it truly is a detail- but about Galleons it is said that they are made of pure gold. It seems to me that pure gold, as pure silver, are not hard but soft (and that is why you cannot have pure gold jewels but white gold, pink gold, yellow gold), so if Goblins are not entirely nuts, the gap of value between Sickle and Galleon must be counterbalaced by the percent of gold and silver within. Details as I said.

Then the bigger problem is (even if the word "fiction" is an excuse by itself) how can an eleve years old think the way Harry does, knowing a bit about psychology ? I guess you have ever heard about something, I don't know the term in English for "stade des opérations abstraites" (Piaget's theory it seems), but the most optimistic scientists I have been informed about said this level started when you are ten. So how could our genius Harry happen to have thought this much about it to be able to act this way ? And how could it be that, of aroud 40 eleven-old students at Howgarts in the same year, there are at least two persons (Draco and Hermione) between the few he has search to exchange ideas with who are intelligent enough to follow his thoughts ?

Then about the origin of magic you offer. It might be too early in the story but there is something strange. I don't get how technology could be subordinated to genes. I would even consider there is more logic in envisaging magic could truly have a genetical origin : a cell receptor that would have a right structure to interact with some particles of "magic" unperceptible with five other senses, as I haven't ever heard human can feel magnetism whereas some birds can, I don't now it is clear. Being a Squib or Muggle-born could be explained as well, without any ununderstandable "mysterious and unknown technology".

About the "impossible King's Cross". I supposed the passing wall is just a "door" to travel not through time but trought space and the magic station could be somewhere else in England or Scotland or elsewhere, hidden, and so it is for never-ending bags. Do you have anything about it ?

I had some other things to say but I forgot. I sincerely hope this all is at least a bit understandable because I am not good at English and I often exchange words.
567zoock67 chapter 27 . 11/16/2013
This is truly interesting. I love how you kept the Snape-James-and Lily aspect of the original Harry Potter books, as I felt they were essential to Snape's character development and history, and without it, he would've been much hated by fans. Though I should've seen it coming, because if you removed it, Snape would not be so bitter to Harry and other non-slytherins to abuse them in the classroom.

I find the sped up reveal of this amazingly written, and I'm surprised by Harry's maturity. He seems much older then an 11 year old, but in a believable manner. You did a great job with this story, I can't wait to read the next chapter :P
Percabethgirl2645 chapter 27 . 9/14/2013
This chapter made my heart break a little... My mouth fell open when snape started to ask his then Harry went and said she was shallow and I was like, well that's it for him then.
7889 chapter 27 . 8/23/2013
This chapter was incredibly sad. The saddest really. I'm in almost tears... :P
addikhabbo chapter 27 . 8/16/2013
FUcking fabulous!
Anon chapter 27 . 7/3/2013
I'm sad now... In a good way, but still... Also, I wish my imagination would shut down when it came up with upsetting things
RussianDestruction chapter 27 . 4/27/2013
Harry really has a penchant for rescuing ppl and having them end up not grateful, doesn't he? :P That interaction between him and Severus was really interesting; I liked it a lot!
YlvaThorgalsdottir chapter 27 . 2/10/2013
Hopefully that conclusion was meant to be as poorly reasoned as it sounded. Intelligence does have a genetic component, right? At least Lily can't have been entirely stupid. She was Snape's FRIEND for seven years! The whole thing built up for her. It wasn't just calling her "mudblood" that did it. Is that not true for this fic? Is Harry's intelligence entirely a result of Michael Verres being his adoptive father?
reader chapter 27 . 2/10/2013
The best way to ruin the arc of suspense is to insert some undue internal reflection.
One of my favorite authors (Frank Schaetzing), who is popular for unputdownable thrillers with unthinkable plots, ruined his latest book like this. At the tantalizing moment, when a bomb is about to blow up, begins a 5 page internal monologue. And this happens alll the time.

At the beginning of this chapter you built up a sinister atmosphere for Occlumency lesson, only to abort it with approx. 600 words of musings to the nature of the subject. 600 words between "Prepare yourself," and "...Harry concentrates". Not that the insert is unimportant, but right there it interrupts the action und kills any ambience.
btw: I like your abstraction level of the mind magic, no fleshy surface of the brain or strings of colorful light :D

You avoid interaction with Harrys room mates and classmates. It is strange that they dont seem to exist outside of anonymous roles.

Handing Nevilles's potentially epic victory over to Harry, who doesnt even shine in the situation, is too bad. :(
The idea to have Neville solve the issue, simply brilliant! like YEAAAAAAAH, NEVILLE GO!

Harry unknowingly censoring his parents in favor of Snape is ingenious. :D

The whole pity / hero complex / emphathy / love and peace episode is neither rational nor comprehensible and in disaccord with Harry's characterization so far. oO
Females have this unconditional need for harmony that is sometimes ignorant or unreasonable.
Enei Emmu chapter 27 . 2/3/2013
"Every time someone cries out in prayer and I can't answer, I feel guilty about not being God."
That sounds rather like what canon Harry would say, and it was a great line.
BiblioMatsuri chapter 27 . 1/3/2013
And that is why he's the hero. When anyone else would run, turn away, or simply not care, he tries to fix it. Unfortunately, there are worlds of difference between information and knowledge, and between knowledge and wisdom, and at eleven years old, "smart" only gets you the first one.
Herooftimes chapter 27 . 12/27/2012
The chapter was beautiful, but I'm having trouble figuring out the 'almost died' part. What exactly would snape have killed him for? Calling Lily shallow?
StrangeoneXD chapter 27 . 12/18/2012
Oh my, this is...quite interesting
989fox989 chapter 27 . 11/18/2012
re-reading this, and I have to say, this is one of my favorite chapters. The interactions between the different characters are really good, especially the one's between Harry and Snape. Not to mention an absolutely great ending.
Tinithor chapter 27 . 11/16/2012
Snape seems like a very feeble little man to still be so held up over a teenage crush at this point in his life. Especially if he gets so offended at the very idea that perhaps Lily Potter may not have been a perfect soul. Maybe because that would mean admitting to himself that he was stupid to mourn over "losing" her for so long when she truly wasn't worth the heart ache. Instead he had been spending his whole life blaming James Potter for everything just so that it wouldn't be Lily's fault and therefore his own stupidity for loving her? I don't really understand this sort of thinking.
Muirgen Monet chapter 27 . 11/1/2012
This chapter was great! I love Snape and hearing Harry's analysis of why Lily didn't forgive him was very interesting. I think it was interesting to note that everyone's perceptions of Harry's biological parents were clouded by their martyrdom. I'm not sure if Lily was shallow, but it is much easier to forgive offenses against others than to forgive offenses against ourselves.
Tinufer Dutch chapter 27 . 9/15/2012
Oh, I did not see that one coming. You managed to make Snape much more tragic then rowling ever did. Much more scary, too.
On second reading, was the description of the tension inspired by pratchett?
MondSemmel chapter 27 . 9/14/2012
One of the best chapters of HPMoR. Professor Snape sadly doesn't appear that often in the story, but when he does, he is amazing. He is certainly as multi-layered and tragic a person as he is in the original books.
Great job.
Guest chapter 27 . 9/8/2012
You couldn't leave your home planet while it still contained a place like Azkaban.

You had to stay and fight.
Guest chapter 27 . 8/8/2012
I already love this fic at this point, but the Mr. Bester Babylon 5 reference just made me so incredibly fucking happy. The amount of creative effort put into this is mind-boggling.
Where's Waldo chapter 27 . 8/7/2012
I have really liked your story so far. I have spent many late nights reading and rereading this work of art. However, there is one thing that I have noticed in chapter 27 that, to me seems to be very odd. Snape stated that it was only three deatheaters-Bellatrix and the Lestrange brothers-who were involved in the torture of the Longbottems; however, in the cannon, Barty Crouch was also involved in this crime. I doubt this is a mistake on your part, considering how carefully constructed the rest of the story is. So, the question is... Where the hell is Barty Crouch! In the original, he is one of the more dangerous, obsessively loyal deatheaters. Now, he has just vanished and is doing who knows what. Was he helping Voldy,instead of being chucked into Azkaban? Does anyone know that he is deatheafer? Is he even a deatheater in this verse? Of course, if Barty is still on Voldy's side in this story, he is- judging from what you did to Quirrell- probably far more terrifying than ever before.
voodooqueen126 chapter 27 . 8/1/2012
There is nothing shallow about pursuing the best possible sperm donor and financial provider for your child.
LexP chapter 27 . 7/29/2012
Wow... This is the first time in the story that Harry has done something truly awful (even though he meant well, which somehow makes the awfulness even more awful). Excellent chapter.
Poetheather1 chapter 27 . 7/29/2012
Wow... very moving. Tears your heart out. Neville standing up to bullies. Snape and Harry. Wow...
ArcticLizard89 chapter 27 . 7/24/2012
Your ability to write Harry's realizations as he grows is exquisite.
Satirica chapter 27 . 7/16/2012
When I read Snape telling the anecdote, I wanted to scream at Harry, "IT'S HIM! Him and your blood mother! And the bully's your blood father!" Which wouldn't really give him a good impression of his parents. But then he found out, so my impulse to yell at the computer ceased. I think it was very heroic of Harry to go about rescuing the Lesath boy (Bellatrix with a son, imagine that) and brave of Hufflepuffy Neville to join the cause. Gryffindors seem downright despicable in this fic, a refreshing break from J.K.'s opinion on them. I've said that before. Oh well.
Kirinin chapter 27 . 7/10/2012
This chapter made me tear up a little. Poor Snape. And I love Harry's rejection of the teenaged angst (so your parents weren't perfect... awwwwww, you've got it so rough.)

-K
PinkMusicalCherry chapter 27 . 6/30/2012
LOVED THIS CHAPTER! I'm so glad we saw more Snape here! Poor Harry. What made Snape realise what Lily had seen in James? Why was wanting to kill Harry! AH I'm going to read it again. This was so lovely.
Guest chapter 27 . 6/29/2012
I don't get why snape said that harry almost died.
Did he mean that he wanted to kill harry for giving him the opinion that he asked for? If so, then geez what an idiot snape is.

.Rilian.
S Chung chapter 27 . 6/17/2012
I think I'll use Harry's fourth day of Occlumency to recommend your work to others. It seems like a fantastic hook, maybe good enough to put in a writing sample, or if I get a little unrealistic, on the back of an imaginary book jacket for your imaginary book.

I don't think I have any other praise or criticism you haven't already gotten. Thanks for writing your story.
Neville.Sandiego chapter 27 . 5/25/2012
I've only read just this one chapter, a friend put me onto it (right before exams too, the rotter), and for the first half I had NO idea what was going on. BUT. Judging purely from this one chapter, this story seems to be taking everything that ticks me off about the potterverse, all the holes and gaps and just plain stupid ideas, and fixing them

D
Guest chapter 27 . 4/26/2012
I am inclined to believe that someone like bella deserves whatever is the worst
yitiantulong chapter 27 . 4/10/2012
Thank you for this Chapter... I LOVE how Harry pegged his mom and dad just right.

I LOVE how you took Lestrage's point of view, and showed how, in truth, the "forces of good" in Harry Potter are very, very, VERY flawed and in some ways as terrible as the "forces of evil".

I do hate to use cliches, but I really want to cheer "Harry, you have to fight the establishment! Do away with archaic "

PS And can I say... your version of Harry Potter is not just clever or wise, it's also funny and human and understanding.)

PPS One more babbling note of appreciation from your fan: I just LOVE how Hermione made fun of Harry's instinct to step in front of her- which she had assumed was based on her gender (who knows why? I'll bet Harry would have stepped in front of Ron too). It's nice that your Hermione isn't just hard-working and good, she's also capable of sparks of clever making-fun and (as you showed early with her gloating) making excuses (crush? ;) ) for her evil streaks. :)

Okay, now I'm off to continue reading and going babbly in happiness at finding such an awesome fanfic!

Thank you, thank you and THANK YOU!
One Brain chapter 27 . 3/16/2012
This story makes me want to become God.
Robbie the Phoenix chapter 27 . 2/19/2012
Wow... you've taken Harry's hero complex to a whole new level.

And I think it's *brilliant*. I mean, the kid wants to be God - not because he wants to be all powerful, but because he wants to fix the messed up world he lives in. How is that not a fascinating read?

The lines between good and evil seem a lot more blurred in this story than they were in the books (though I seem to recall them getting somewhat blurry from time to time). That's actually another thing I'm really enjoying about it: shades of gray are just so much more interesting than black and white.
Hedgehog chapter 27 . 2/8/2012
Well, that was interesting...

Very clever of Harry to involve Neville - a quick test of character, and a boost of confidence for Neville, though I wonder whether Harry intended the latter. The entire scene I thought of Neville as a Gryffindor, and only now I remembered that in this universe, he's a Hufflepuff, which makes it easier I guess: he wouldn't antagonize his own house mates, and Snape would have been deeply offended if Harry had teamed up with a Gryffindor.

But what do you mean, no more talks with Snape! That confrontation was so much more fascinating than the ones with Quirrell, or - God forbid - Hermione. (Not Draco, though. This story's Draco trumps everything.)

The Azkaban thing sounds promising, though I don't quite get why Harry thinks he'd have to be a god to do anything about it. He's a mere first-year after all, and look what he's achieved so far! Of course, if he's looking for a quick solution, godlike powers would not go amiss.
Archmagus chapter 27 . 1/5/2012
This is mostly so I can go,

""Hello, Mr. Potter," the telepath said tonelessly, having cast the full suite of privacy spells.

"Hello, Mr. Bester," Harry said wearily. "Let's just get the initial shock out of the way, shall we?"

And give you A THOUSAND PROPS for that Babylon 5 reference. Seriously.

(earlier you said "you have always been J.K. Rowling" at the top and I thought I was just lame for thinking of Kosh's "You have always been here" but there's no way you can make a reference like that and not have watched B5. Yay for you! more people should)
Poetryfreak173 chapter 27 . 1/2/2012
So... this is my sixth read through of this story so far, and it's just occured to me to wonder- Harry's trapped at Hogwarts now... is Lesath LeStrange one of the orphans who stays at Hogwarts each summer?
Mantis FA chapter 27 . 12/13/2011
Snape cheated there, leaving out all the context that made calling Lily a mudblood especially hard to forgive. Under the circumstances obtaining in Snape, Lily, and the Marauders' fifth year at Hogwarts, that was essentially the same as a member of the Hitler Youth calling a Jewish girl he had until then been friendly with, and who'd been tolerating his membership in an organization that wanted her and everyone like her dead and his lip service to its beliefs, by an anti-Semitic slur (I don't know what the standard German slur would have been, and probably wouldn't care to write it down if I did).
Melast chapter 27 . 12/6/2011
Poor Harry. Ever since getting his Letter, it's been one mistake after another. Other than getting Snape to back down from the younger students he has accomplished nothing and gained more enemies than he realises... Are you sure you're not just Bashing him? It's cruel to create a character who is incredibly wrong but is convinced he's the most sane person in the world, just so ya know.
Uryuu-Nipaa chapter 27 . 11/17/2011
What makes Lesath's situation even worse, when his mother came out of Azkaban she said that she didn't have a son. The dementors probably sucked away all her memories of him because they were to happy and when she came out she didn't recognize him. This chapter is really amazing, but so sad...
Guest chapter 27 . 11/5/2011
Quidditch

Months later: Oh. Quidditch was made by a Slytherin.

Points won during a Quidditch match go towards the house of the team which won them.

The game doesn't end until the snitch is caught.

Possibility

If you grab the snitch and then act like you're still looking for it the game can go on much longer allowing you to score points using the goals.

If you make certain to play against a team who's weaker than your own then scoring goals becomes more likely.

After gaining enough points to put your house in the lead for the house cup you pretend to have just found and caught the snitch.

If there isn't a charm on the snitch to prevent this, then it's probably being done.

Slytherin and Ravenclaw seem most likely to realize it. Though the Weasely twins indicate Gryfinndors might notice as well.

Hufflepuffs might see it could be done, but they appear more likely to report such a hole.
David DeLaney chapter 27 . 10/12/2011
On yet another reread, it occurs to me while perusing Chapter 27 to wonder ... exactly why DOES continued application of the Cruciatus curse invariably drive people insane, in an apparently repeatable manner? (And has the wizarding community simply not THOUGHT of using Memory charms to remove the memory of having been Crucioed, or is there something different at work?)

Subham Soni: Those two quarks have _been_ named 'truth' and 'beauty'; they are CURRENTLY named "top" and "bottom", correct. But remember that this is taking place around 1992, and that the alternate names were in use for a while in various portions of the physics community; they are simply the names that Harriet learned.

-Dave
DapplexD chapter 27 . 9/30/2011
sorry just had to ask xD did you get the and there there were _ from the book by Agatha Christie and then there were none? xD

okay back to reading 8D 50 more chapters to go xD
AR chapter 27 . 9/21/2011
"I've lived the lives of all the characters in all my books, and all their mighty wisdom thunders in my head. Somewhere in there was someone like Lesath, I expect, though I couldn't say who. It wasn't hard to put myself in his shoes."

This chapter made me cry...

For so many reasons. Empathy...it is the one thing that really defines us as a person isn't it? It is taught and polished and if you're very lucky or maybe cursed...you are blessed with an imagination that makes you really FEEL.

And even then ...it is not enough. You can never TRULY grasp the emotion because you don't have their history..

Yours is the first story I have read that allows Snape to be human. It is very close to how I imagined him to be and deeply wished that Rowling had given us more insight to his character.

You are truly an amazing writer...just about my favorite one.
madeyemarauder chapter 27 . 8/31/2011
I always appreciate glimpses at Severus' empathetic side.
Megan McAlistair chapter 27 . 8/30/2011
"and see a mind indistinguishable from whoever you were pretending to be."

actually, that's the way to tell the best lies, too

by pretending to be innocent

that person isn't believing you even though you've told him countless times that you've never seen the victim?

a guilty person would crack or get silent or desperate, feeling in their heart that the interrogator knows that they haven't told the truth and that their lying is pointless

an innocent person would get angry, those interrogators these days were so incompetent, pursuing all the wrong people and missing the culprits in the process

"when you reset people back to the same initial conditions and exposed them to the same stimuli"

reminds me of that romantic comedy... 50 First Dates

"Can I just sort of go off and follow him and let you work out what I should say to make sure you're not all worried and offended?"

now that would be cheating...

taking the cheap and easy way out, Draco would have known what to say

"Harry noticed that he was confused."

and because assassins never look that way he can't possibly be one... right?

Snape has a perfect image, in fact he has so many false images stacked that no one could get through to him

the poor lonely boy who has lost his one true love

"and ran out of swap space"

just build another RAM tower in Minecraft

"A cold wash of anger ran down Harry's spine"

this is gonna be awesome

"He didn't know where the words had come from."

that is even more awesome than anything cool Harry could have done directly to them

making Neville stand up to his past and give him the courage and empathy to accept someone related to his parent's torturers as another kindred soul

in short: making him act awesome

like when he refused to use the Crucio on the First Years in book 7

"or for that matter You-Know-Who?"

he can't call him Voldemort

because he will conquer France, that means the French, including the French in Voldemort's name, which is everything, so he can no longer attribute to someone else what is his own, so he as to call him nicknames

"More like Dad's science fiction and fantasy collection,"

I myself have been party raised by Star Trek TNG, my mom was a huge fan of it and we would often watch it together

very ethically educational

"Tell me, why would she forgive the bully, and not the bullied?"

because, in her heart she knew that the bullied would never be right for her, he threw an insult at her which he perceived to be the gravest, but to her it didn't matter what blood she had, it mattered to him though, he only overlooked it in her case but never in the cases of others, always judging them by their blood subconsciously

the bully however might have called her a coward or something like that as the gravest insult, because it is something she values in herself, her courage

a simple matter of compatibility

"and that sounded rather improbable, all things considered"

considering that wizards are stupid and cruel

"You had to stay and fight."

I like Harry, that is now finally decided
ironhair chapter 27 . 8/28/2011
I had a tough time with Kevin Entwhistle's cat.. till I realised it was a noodle incident..

thanks to /FanFic/

I hate you for making me search around for it for more than 5 mins !

I could have read more of the story till then... :(

-

Hmmm.. so u mean to say that the weasley twins bypassed all the traps to get to the mirror already?

I wonder how they had enough potion to get through the fire though, seeing that it had only enough for 1 person.

-

I didn't quite get snape though... AND ... what did he finally figure out as the reason for Lily to go over to James?

-
Anony chapter 27 . 8/25/2011
This chapter is where I'm giving up on reading the rest of this story. It's fascinating to see Harry as a Ravenclaw-Slitherin scientist, and I love the science and magic mixture, but Harry's just too much of a jerk for me to like reading about him.
Fenrir666 chapter 27 . 8/25/2011
New viewpoint of the Potters. Seems accurate too. Interesting.
Guest chapter 27 . 8/11/2011
Your story shames me.

I like to dream. It is like running.
Royal Snaza chapter 27 . 8/10/2011
I had intended to leave one giant review at the end of the story, or one at each chapter I read. I obviously went with the former. Yet, this chapter touched my heart, my mind, and my awareness in a manner i don't think you understand.

"You couldn't leave your home planet while it still contained a place like Azkaban.

You had to stay and fight."

These lines inspire me. To try and make this world a better place. Thank You.
theInsaneArtist chapter 27 . 8/6/2011
...

...

This is my favorite chapter so far. T-T
AstrologicalStars chapter 27 . 8/2/2011
Well this is the last chapter I think I'm going to read from this fanfic, it's a good fanfic...but I'm lost. This fanfic makes me feel stupid xD
Thursday the 12th chapter 27 . 7/28/2011
This is a beautiful chapter in a really well-written fic. I am actually sad to have read it because now there is /less to read/.
Isa Knightwalker chapter 27 . 7/17/2011
Now Harry is using the term Mudblood in private? And Harry is guilty because he can't get people who deserve to be in Azkaban out? And ugh, criticizing Lily's decision to be angry at Snape for calling her a Mudblood too by having Harry do the "right" thing when he clearly is a very morally ambiguous person himself with a god complex. Plus saying that she ended up with James because he was rich or handsome, wtf. Snape had clearly been on the dark path for awhile and ended up as a Death Eater since he went with his other friends instead of trying to stay after her, so I'd say that he is also to blame for their friendship failing. Plus Harry has never met his parents and yet he seems fine with describing them as shallow and a bully based on anecdotes, not very scientific of him to fall to that fallacy so easily. (Although I actually like how he is more like his canon self in that sense).

I sometimes feel like this fanfic is more about criticizing the canon instead of establishing your own story since every chapter there seems to be some insult towards the original story.

/rant

Personally I hope there will be more chapters more like Harry and Draco and/or Hermione investigating something using the scientific method or humorous things since those are lots of fun to read.

Also I really did love Snape's reaction since he clearly loved Lily so deeply so it makes sense that he would be angry by what Harry said about her, especially since she died to protect someone who actually describes her as a shallow gold digger.

Despite all the criticism/ranting, I think that you write very well and the story itself is rather interesting.
Wolfjackle chapter 27 . 7/5/2011
I haven't finished this by a long shot yet (only on chapter 27) but I just wanted to review with my thoughts right now.

First of all, this is amazing. I really, really like it. It's funny and serious and deep. I couldn't stop laughing through the first few chapters.

However, I honestly don't know what to think of your Harry. I accept the fact that he is as smart (well, smarter) than a college student. But at times he is so coldly calculating that I really wonder if he is good. But then he'll go around and talk about destroying all places like Azkaban in the world. He is cold and selfish. He is forgiving and caring. He will act like an excited child with a new toy and the very next instant will act as if he were in the middle of a formal debate. It's odd, but creative and enjoyable. Even if it does lead to some mood-whiplash and a confusing character sketch. And yet, despite all the apparent contradictions it all makes complete sense.

Also, I like what you've done with Quirrel. He's pretty cool, though again, I don't know whether I like him or not. Which contradicts what I just said. What I mean for both Harry and Quirrel: as characters they are fascinating and interesting, but I don't know if I can truly find them sympathetic or relatable.

Though I do like Draco, and I normally don't. Good job on that one. I really like the Harry-Draco relationship you are building, even if I haven't quite figured out the intricacies of it yet. It's fascinating.

The story itself is creative and making me think. I love reading it, and your attempt at combining Science and Magic is amazing. I hate you for making me spend so much time on this, and then I realize I am only about a third of the way through it. Especially since my goal was to return to reading actual books. But yet I keep returning. Great story, and I will continue to read and look forward to finding out what is going to happen next. And then what will happen after that.
Artful Lounger chapter 27 . 6/20/2011
I have to say that I'm liking the story so far. Especially the small references here and there like that Death Note one a while back, the occasional nods to the original book series like with Harry and Quirrell, in addition to the occasional Dune reference. Very nice, very nice indeed.
pringlescan chapter 27 . 6/18/2011
Amazing series,one of my favorite fantasy stories of all time, bar none. I also would like to thank the author for introducing me to formal rationalism via the less wrong community blog, and the feynmen lectures. I have a couple of months before I head off to college for the fall and this will keep me busy. My only complaint is he hasn't updated the story since I've found it a few weeks ago, hurry up with the next chapter its killing me!
Mezzavia chapter 27 . 6/10/2011
Snape said it all.

And Harry is going to stay and fight. He's following his own sense of justice, and I'm starting to like him a whole lot better. Can only blame him for his overconfidence. I dunno why he'd ever think that he's qualified to give people that sort of advice, when he's still a child. Smart one, but a child. He's only read about romance inside books. If he doesn't know love, and love is what 3/4 of the world does, he may as well be called ignorant..

... I feel the same way about myself when I review, I guess. Who am I to say this.. Well it's just my opinion.
shine lots chapter 27 . 6/7/2011
Are you ever going to tell us how Fred and George pulled off that prank, on a 40 galleon budget no less? It's 45 chapters later, and we STILL don't know.
Death by manga chapter 27 . 6/6/2011
So I guess I should be expecting little Harry x hermonie babies should I?

I applaud Nevile for his level Of selflessness. And you have just quoted one of the most important life lessons when it comes to judging people. Did your teacher ever assign Plague Year by Stephanie S. Tolen ever?

I must agree with Harry about his opinion of his mother. But he must have not understood what it meant to be a mudblood? Like how a city white boy wonders about how a black boy in the south feels. They can't be sure and most often they have no idea.
Clownwithachainsaw chapter 27 . 6/6/2011
Remarkable. The Weasly twins were exemplary (unless somehow Harry manipulated them into the places they are now) and Voldemort's friendship with Harry is certainly growing ominous.

The ordeal with Neville and Lestrange was very fun, and Snape's role in the whole thing an interesting twist. I'm glad to see Snape disliking Potter for what he did, instead of hating him for what his father did.

And you explanaition of Legimancy was spot-on.

Can't wait to read more.
Itachi's apprentice chapter 27 . 6/1/2011
Great work. Wow just wow. When I thought Sev and Harry were going to have a working relation the bomb drop.
Eric Heurtain chapter 27 . 5/31/2011
Not a review, just two opinions:

This chapter is one of the most rowlinguesque so far (and that's not exactly a compliment in this case as you are bringing and blending something very different in your work that is less present here).

The "true" advice of Severus Snapes to Harry Potter sounds like an ad-hoc (over)-generalization: one data point (his immediate interaction with Potter) is used to build a pseudo-profound sentence, mainly to protect his ego and restate his menace in a way that will be easy for Potter to remember and distract him from a correct assessment. It is the kind of rhetorical trick I would have believed Potter immune to.
Aly chapter 27 . 5/11/2011
'She was shallow, in other words. Tell whoever it was that she wasn't worthy of him and he needs to get over it and move on and next time date girls who are deep instead of pretty.'

HOLY CRAP. I have never imagined Lily to be anything less than perfect, but I did find it amusing she eventually went with James (who I never liked, he probably would have picked on Harry had they gone to school together). Wow. That...wow. Thank god we have a Harry Potter that can call out all the flaws of the books! (Which I adore, but yeah, some things do annoy me a little about them). But then again, we DO tend to think better of those dead.
SciFi43 chapter 27 . 5/6/2011
People are taking the Snape scene and going nuts with it.

1. Harry is only 11.

2. He is only given a simple theoretical situation (grossly out of context) with no knowledge of the background of the characters.

3. He gives the best answer he can given his upbringing, knowledge and literary 'experience'.

4. He then assumes he father took up for the bully like he does. That broke my heart as it shows he is just an innocent kid wanting to see the best in his dad. That's my interpretation anyway.

That said, why are people assuming he should be thinking about what happened in Book 7? Why are they debating it? Harry knows nothing of Slytherin expectations or Snape's upbringing. Having 'friends' from Slytherin was practically the only chance he had of making friends - other than Lily. (Yes, I'm a Snape fan.) Plus, James, Sirius, & Peter etc. were jerks at that time.

Personally, I always wished canon Lily had handled it differently. Perhaps she could given Snape an ultimatum of staying friends only if he 'changes his friends and dark ways' instead of 'F. O.'. Even knowing all of canon, I felt sorry for him when he still just couldn't understand.
Glurg chapter 27 . 4/17/2011
Wow, Harry was super male-identified. His mother was shallow? Try his mother didn't want to be in a relationship with an abusive, racist, closed minded rapist (implied in the 7th book). Ahhh! Fuck Harry. Womin marry horrible men (like James) for all sorts of reasons. He doesn’t know her circumstances; odds are he doesn’t even know her full name. I can’t wait to read more and see if he gets hit with a truck.

I have many questions about this story that I hope will be answered as I continue to read. Whoopie! I am very excited.
Glurg chapter 27 . 4/16/2011
Wow, Harry was super male-identified. His mother was shallow? Try his mother didn't want to be in a relationship with an abusive, racist, closed minded rapist (implied in the 7th book). Ahhh! Fuck Harry. Womin marry horrible men (like James) for all sorts of reasons. He doesn’t know her circumstances; odds are he doesn’t even know her full name. I can’t wait to read more and see if he gets hit with a truck.

I have many questions about this story that I hope will be answered as I continue to read. Whoopie! I am very excited.
DrBlue2K chapter 27 . 3/5/2011
Snape: "If Quidditch scores did not count toward the House Cup then none of them would care about House points at all. It would merely be an obscure contest for students like you and Miss Granger."

I just realized this, but is Snape hinting that his nasty unfair behaviour to other houses is so Slytherin has a fighting chance at winning the house cup (so they care about this form of social control)? I wonder if Snape is awarding more house points to Slytherin this year since he can't keep the scores in check.
ARMH chapter 27 . 2/22/2011
The amount of foreshadowing in this chapter (knowing what's going to happen) is pretty intense. I have to think that more conscientious readers than I know what's coming and are getting a lot more out of the story.
Markus Ramikin chapter 27 . 2/18/2011
"Lose. Now."

This is why you, sir, are a true writer and I am not. Two words saying more than any two paragraphs I've ever written.

My hat's off to you.
Alpha Werewolf chapter 27 . 2/15/2011
I'm not much of a reviewer, but I felt that I would do this story, which I am now reading for the second time, injustice if I didn't submit at least one review for it.

Sadly, as I said, I can't really critique this work. So all I'm going to say is this: One, I've only now realized that Snape, in fact, used Legilemency in order to find out how many electrons are in the outmost orbital of a carbon atom ; and two, I very much hope you bring this story to it's conclusion.
melric chapter 27 . 1/19/2011
i started reading this yesterday; im a person who has to read stories all through - i simply can't stop.

but this chapter demanded me to leave a review.

im a snape fan (yes, yes - one of them) and i have been like begging you (telephatically) to bring him in, and to pleeease do him well - (not a simple petty persona, not simply evil, not a flat character, not simple, period)

you outstandingly surpassed my expectations.

bravo.

these scenes will be a constant replay on my mind, labeled as superb fanfiction - you know... that ONE line in a book that made it worthwhile, that spark of genius, That - was this chapter to me.

do i actually need to say that you have had me laughing at a computer monitor through most chapters, or wishing a day had more hours to continue reading?

well just in case...

now, if you excuse me, ill continue (now on writing) begging you to bring snape in again - and continue reading.
Tormuse chapter 27 . 1/18/2011
As I've been reading through these chapters, I've wondered what Snape's relationship with this Harry would be like. (as opposed to the original books) On the one hand, Snape actually has a legitimate reason to call Harry arrogant, but on the other hand, Harry has higher intelligence and reasoning abilities that I think Snape would respect more.

Obviously, they got off on the wrong foot in this version with all the complaints of abuse and so forth, and while this chapter leaves them with a bit of an ambiguous parting, there are hints that there's hope for a more amiable conclusion.

Well played, Less wrong! This gets more and more interesting all the time.
GodricGeoffreyGryffindor chapter 27 . 1/13/2011
And once again Severus Snape demonstrates just how reprehensible an individual he really is. Not only is he consistently ungrateful and unforgiving, but he chooses to strike his most emotionally laden blows at the very moments that he should be most grateful. His timing is impeccably bad. He did it to James, he did it to Lily, and now he's done it to Harry.
Tangshou chapter 27 . 1/4/2011
Weasley twins 'making a quick trip to the magic mirror and back.' Nice.

I like Snape's reason for using Quidditch scores in the house cup contest. I don't think I would have ever thought of that.

I very much approve of how this sub-plot with Snape turned out. Though I don't buy that Severus would care that much about Harry's opinion on the matter. Not nearly enough to almost kill him for insulting Lily.

Also, Neville is acting a little too much as Harry's puppet. Will he do everything Harry says? Why?
w chapter 27 . 1/2/2011
Pretty sure I haven't reviewed this one yet.

Good things.

F&G. The only explanation to the prank is that RS was charmed and the only one with motive was Q, but then he'd need a time turner and occasion.

The entire Occlumency session, especially the second one.

That Mr. Bester's thoughts are reproducible exactly doesn't make any sense, given he must have had some experiences in the meantime influencing his answers, if only by a little bit, unless he's an NPC in a simulation, which I do hope won't turn out to be the case.

The entire Snape sequence is amazing.
wealhtheow chapter 27 . 12/31/2010
I've been really enjoying this story, but I must say I'm a bit annoyed by Harry's summation of Lily. No one is *owed* forgiveness. Snape used a horrible racial epithet toward Lily and was deeply involved in a movement that sought to kill her, her family, and her entire way of life. Calling her shallow for not forgiving him for that is pretty silly. Now admittedly, Harry doesn't know any of this, but why would he immediately jump to call the unnamed girl shallow just because she didn't forgive her attacker? It doesn't make sense.
Brendan Barrett chapter 27 . 12/21/2010
This is the first fan fiction I have ever read, and it's been a great experience. The Methods of Rationality (and especially "Empathy," where I am now) has, among other things, made me grateful for the books that I have read that contain characters who are good people, and has helped to reassure me of the value of such reading.

I'm part of the generation that likes to think of itself as having "grown up" with Harry, and reading about the interactions between these variations on Rowling's characters has been a totally unexpected and very welcome extension of that emotional link with the series. As was true with the original, I think that I'll be able to draw from your story examples of the kind of good examples that may bubble up when I'm mulling over problems in real life. And definitely some new knowledge about psychology. Thanks a lot!
Miss Teinge chapter 27 . 11/29/2010
Beautiful.
Kay chapter 27 . 11/15/2010
Every time someone cries out in prayer and I can't answer, I feel guilty about not being God.

This is the funniest fanfiction piece I've ever read, and it's as much a parody as it is a good story.
Sheaman chapter 27 . 11/7/2010
...I wonder how much it will affect the rest of the story, if Snape really did just fall out of love w/ Harry's mom. How...disquieting.
AnnoCat chapter 27 . 11/4/2010
Hello, I just found your story 2 days ago and been very much engrossed with it. Normally, I would comment after reading the last chapter but this chapter did quite a toll on me. You have quite an interesting imagination. I love your sense of humor, plus I am actually starting to enjoy science and logic more than before. The insights you place in each chapter have enlightened me from time to time, but this chapter (most especially with the Snape part) has absolutely made me speechless.

Speechless, that it made me ask myself one question, something that I hope you can answer, what made you right such an interesting story?
AspergianStoryteller chapter 27 . 11/3/2010
Oh.
Tayefeth chapter 27 . 10/31/2010
Severus has only himself to blame for getting an answer he didn't like. Perhaps if he had included the context that he was associating with a group known to believe that Lily was less than human, Harry might not have concluded that Lily was too shallow to be worthy of Severus's undying affection...
Indigo Ziona chapter 27 . 10/28/2010
Oooh, deep.

The Occlumency tutor's called Mr Bester? It does make me wonder which Mr Bester that's a reference too... and whether Harry's heard of both the Besters I'm thinking of :)

"Okay, just checking," Hermione said. "Let's get the Seeker first. I've read some Agatha Christie mysteries, do you know how we can get her onto a train?"

I can't be the first person to have realised this would be Murder on the Hogwarts Express...

'A smile crossed Severus's lips. "Dear me, and I thought you were supposed to be perceptive. Are you truly so incapable of understanding your classmates, Potter, or do you dislike them too much to try? If Quidditch scores did not count toward the House Cup then none of them would care about House points at all. It would merely be an obscure contest for students like you and Miss Granger."'

I like this very much. I also sympathise with Harry and Hermione's hatred of the sport.

I like very much how you have dealt with Snape. It's rather more interesting than the poor tortured soul or alternatively fucked-up-but-on-the-side-of-good-for-Lily's-sake, not that I'm not prone to be fond of these interpretations too.

'Harry shrugged. "At a wild guess, because the bully had hurt someone else very badly, and the bullied had hurt her just a little, and to her that just felt far more unforgivable somehow. Or, not to put too fine a point on it, was the bully handsome? Or for that matter, rich?" '

That made me feel rather sad. Actually I remember being impressed that Rowling had portrayed Harry's father - and the Marauders in general - as such tosspots. Female readers had been idolising those bastards for years.

In all fairness to Lily though, I got the impression that she wasn't just concerned with Snape's calling her a mudblood - there were other issues at play, like his slow descent into the Dark Arts... Also it's possible that she never thought of him as a boyfriend, just a very good childhood friend, so although he portrays himself as the spurned lover, that's not quite right...
Harry Figment chapter 27 . 10/11/2010
When I first read this chapter I assumed you knew certain facts from Book 7. If you don't, then I should explain them on the off-chance that you believe Harry's snap diagnosis here.

Before the famous insult, Lily points out to Snape that one of his friends tried to do something nasty or "creepy" to one Mary McDonald (from context, it might have involved the Imperius curse). He ignores this. (Note that apparently nobody goes to jail for this use of what Lily calls "Dark Magic", a fact that strengthens your view of Draco's milieu.)

Shortly after the insult, Snape and Lily have a conversation in which she says, "I've made excuses for you for years." She effectively points out that he's joined the Nazi Party, which he can't deny, and that his actual choices on matters of life and death appear to fit that one insult better than they fit his apology. Also, "you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?" Possibly her bias lay in remaining friends with him until then, not in the break.

We don't know how Lily and James got together (I don't think). We know it happened after these events, and of course we know that James later chose to risk his life opposing the Nazi Party.
Kutta chapter 27 . 10/10/2010
Excellent chapter
LunaSlashSea chapter 27 . 10/7/2010
Excellent chapter. Love the reference to Babylon 5.
Eli Courtwright chapter 27 . 10/2/2010
This chapter had all kinds of awesome, but I especially loved the in-depth description of Legilimency and Occlumency (as well as the "Mr. Bester" reference). As I've said in my past reviews, your in-depth fleshing out of the different types of magic is really fascinating.
Rebel Goddess chapter 27 . 9/21/2010
Wow. I'm so impressed with the whole Lesath Lestrange section. Harry's line about feeling guilty about not being god was superb. The stuff about Quidditch and the Occlumency lessons were good, but not as good as that bit. Clearly sci-fi books are rubbing off on me because I instantly understood when you wrote Snape was a two-level player and Harry was one...

Excellent scene with Snape too. Harry should remember to bear in mind that this is from the "victim's" perspective, and if books teach you anything, it's that that's all a story is - one person's perspective. Doesn't mean they aren't right, but it does mean it's never ALL the story.
Crumplette chapter 27 . 8/13/2010
"Hello, Mr. Bester"

...

This can't be, can it?

...

Mr. Alfred Bester, P12? (*shudders*)

hehehe. Pure Genius! :D
Morbious20 chapter 27 . 8/12/2010
awesome chapter
Dead Man Writing Is Dead chapter 27 . 8/7/2010
Remember what I said about the faux latin spells? Same thing with the names. Although, I can tell you're trying with the names, at least.

Also, you seem eager to cram all of the facts that Harry learned years 1-7 in one book. I wonder how long it will take for you to run out of information...
CeilingFan chapter 27 . 8/4/2010
Oh, Harry. And oh, Snape. As the sort of child who would stumble into saying awful, awful things while thinking I was being clever and matter-of-fact...I feel for Harry. And as the sort of old person who thinks that Snape's obsession (with Harry, with Lily, whatever) was a little too pathetic to excuse his practice of raging at an 11 year-old...I feel bad things at Snape.
giveMeABreak chapter 27 . 7/27/2010
'He was wooing a beautiful Muggleborn girl, who came across him being bullied, and tried to rescue him.'

'"My father," Harry whispered. It was his best guess, the one thing that might save him. "My father tried to protect you from the bullies."'

Really?, his best guess was that his father was "a beautiful Muggleborn girl"? what?
anonsicle chapter 27 . 7/18/2010
You've done brilliant things with a pretty original concept. This is truly one of the most enjoyable stories I've ever read. Even though I can't fathom how a character can legitimately function when his tragic flaw is his ONLY saving grace you make it work somehow. Well done on that part I suppose even though everything about this story is leading up to a massive and catastrophic failure on Harry's part I will certainly be reading until you've finished.
jafl chapter 27 . 7/15/2010
This morning, I woke up from a long dream where I *was* this version of Harry Potter. This reminded me of what I was thinking about in church last Sunday: stories are the most powerful way to influence people. We need more stories about how science is done, not just dry reporting of the results. So keep up the good work!

One note: I think Prof Quirrell is somewhat mistaken about nuclear weapons. It takes an army of people and a huge equipment budget to make them. A single, powerful wizard can decide that he has nothing to lose and so casts the Spell of Doom. But when an army of people is required to do the equivalent with nuclear weapons, then the old line about "the Russians love their children, too" applies, so it's much less likely that the world will be destroyed.
Coriandergirl chapter 27 . 7/13/2010
Every time someone cries out in prayer and I can't answer, I feel guilty about not being God.

...

I really love this incarnation of Harry. I really do. Warts and all.
Swurt chapter 27 . 7/6/2010
Great story! It's rather astonishing how much you've updated it as well. Thanks a bunch.

The only part I don't like about the story is the sexism of the characters. The way they talk - especially Hermione - is rather irksome. If all you can manage for Hermione is something silly about gender differences and social norms, you have gone and made her most defining characteristic her sex. And that's just bad writing. I realize Hermione, is well, from Rowling and that extensive modification must be made to make her into something adults will enjoy. Giving her voice about expected behavior of the two genders might sound like a good idea if you actually did it right and made her a smart, informed, and reasonable about the issue, sort of like a very young Martin Luther King Jr. However, your end result is the opposite. Hermione sounds like an infantile sexist; uninformed, brattish, and proud of it. That's not good warping of the original material.

Making Hermione into an actual character instead of something out of the Harry Potter series is difficult. Emphasizing or crafting some other qualities than "smart" and "is a girl, lololol" will be difficult. However, based on your story so far, I think doing so is in your power.

Maybe Hermione could grow up some time. I like that your children act like children, imperfect despite being the Main Characters, especially because of their age. Making believable child heroes is really, really good storytelling. I'd just like for Hermione's flaw not to be "I state the obvious gender stereotypes every single fucking chapter because I'm an empowered but young female in a male dominated fandom." Just... ergh. Sorry. Sexism and racism get to me in ways other things never will. I don't like the characters I like being Stupid in the biggest ways imaginable.

Harry is also pretty bad, but less obvious about it. The phrase "I know what you did in a certain corridor to a certain girl" is pretty damn sexist. For one, using "girl". Blegh. For two, emphasizing the male's role, and de-emphasizing the female's role. The female has things done TO her. She doesn't do things back, nor is that important. Male sexuality has triumphed over female sexuality once again. Then again, perhaps Harry was stating in the most embarrassing way possible. But that's not what I got when I read the chapter.

I would prefer just letting Harry's and Hermione's sexism die a quiet death. The heroes aren't supposed to be sexist or racist.

Once again, thanks for writing.
James Birdsong chapter 27 . 7/6/2010
Excellent and beautiful. Sad but perfect.
dogbertcarroll chapter 27 . 7/4/2010
I'm continually stopping in awe while reading this story.
DoubleC chapter 27 . 7/4/2010
From start to finish, the best chapter so far. From the tiniest of references to the pointed drama to the scheming awesomeness. I'd print it out and frame it, and fully intended to do so (well, almost), until the very end were it became too sad to remind of itself continually, - they'll mend fences, right? Right? Pleeeeaaase! Anyway, yes. Bester, mysterious Obliviation, complexity of mind techniques, super-Snape, Neville being wonderful, another finger-snapping plot, deconstruction of Snape's worst memory, tragedy - did I mention everything? Probably not. The entire whole chapter. Fantabulous. Mmmm. So, please, some *positive* understanding between Harry and Severus? Unrealistic, in danger of being OOC, but highly desirable, and totally needed after this fallout. ) How many times did I repeat this was the best chapter, each line of it? There's another one.
Toebang chapter 27 . 7/2/2010
It constantly amazes me how some people can write genius!Harry's and make it so good when so many o them are so bad.

~Tobang
Karnen chapter 27 . 7/1/2010
OH MY GOSH! you have got me HOOKED. I was...Dude. you rock please give me mooooore. i do sometimes skip the scientific stuff but i do find it fascinating.
Miss Cow chapter 27 . 7/1/2010
I'd never really thought about Azkaban in that way. The mere possibility that there were more innocents than Sirius Black, or that it was a cruel and unusual punishment for even the most evil enlightens me.
pw201 chapter 27 . 7/1/2010
NihilCredo: While it's tempting to write off every opinion associated with the liberal arts ism-spotting "let me show you my bingo card" crowd, I think I remember reading somewhere that "reversed stupidity is not intelligence". Plus, if you're writing an author tract, there's no point in alienating your audience unnecessarily. If you can take on board some criticisms and reject some others, that seems fair enough to me. I'm not sure someone who has written "Finally, I would like to take this opportunity to confess that, just as some reviewers seem to suspect, I myself am secretly prejudiced against Muggleborn wizards" at the end of the latest author's note has completely caved...

ObReview: I like it. Lots of people I know like it too. Please send more at your earliest convenience.
loserthree chapter 27 . 7/1/2010
Good job on the change to Ch 7.

One of the problems the noise-holes are revealing is with this story's status as a primer on rationality, a series of entertaining parables for living.

That _is_ what this work is meant to be, is it not?

If that is the case, then it should not be too surprising for your readers to understand that they are being presented with a measure to which they should aspire. Or that some of your readers go looking for the ideal they think you're showing them. Or that they pick out the flaws in the characters they think represent your ideal. And from there it just follows that some will make a lot of noise about the way they see you supporting some positions you might not support.

Astute readers have noticed that the above paragraph could be made to look like the Drake Equation (but smaller and even less useful).

You cannot give these few what they want, of course. A RationalPuritySue!Harry would be out of place in the awesome that is the rest of your story. It would be great if they understood that. Maybe the manner of your primer will be more clear to them in a few more chapters. Maybe it would already be clear if they had read all that you have already written.

Now that I have recast the situation in a manner that fits the solution I endorse, while acting as though I am summarizing, it is time to get around to that solution. Maybe.

In the latter portion of Ch 27, Harry and Snape both seem to have been told the same lie: "Good things happen to good people." This is the same fiction that underlies the nice-guy-ism about which there has been some noise. Both have the 'incorrect' view on the justice or lack thereof in Lilly's reaction.

(Frankly, "Bad things happen to stupid people, and those who stand too close to stupid people." would be more accurate.)

But when the reader is not presented with an 'accurate' analysis of the event, it should make some sense that some readers would reach the hopefully incorrect conclusion that you, the author, agree with one or the other.

Myself, I hope that Snape goes _way_ bad now. I hope that being relieved of let-me-be-good-enough-for-Lily-ism opens him to more deeply and vilely explore the egocentricity that first led him to believe he deserved the things he wanted, on account of this or that self-perceived aspect of his character.

You have an opportunity, in Snape, to make an example of nice-guy-ism. I have a dark and special place in my own heart for this attitude so I get an actual emotional thrill anticipating what might be done with this.

It's a crime committed against the youth of Western Culture by Western Culture, through her agent, the Romantic Comedy. RomComs reinforce the idea that a boy can expect to get _the_ girl by being a good boy. But Duckie doesn't get Andie and the fact that he's been her friend is no credit to his need. Outside the scope of that light entertainment, Duckie doesn't get a consolation blond either. Duckie dies alone and forgotten.

Blah, blah, rahgrahangrrawng-

*pahahhh*

Dust.

Most of the times when Harry is mistaken about something - other than the plot - that mistaken belief is corrected almost as soon as it is presented. For that reason, some of your readers jump to conclusions when a few of the times he is not so swiftly corrected correlate with unflattering prejudices commonly held against persons such as yourself.

There you are, a smart, apparently single guy who seems to come from a moderately privileged background: you are white (and male) and enjoyed the luxury of pursuing your own educational desires. You are going to be assumed to be single, notwithstanding your homepage, because you are taking time to write fan fiction. You are going to be assumed to be socially awkward, because you are a smart guy.

They do not need to read your bio on Wikipedia or to see your homepage to know that about you. It comes out in your work. There is not anything particularly wrong with that.

Add to that, you espouse a better state of being for humanity and seek to being it about for yourself; that is only an insignificant step away from the unforgivable sin of thinking yourself better than the rest of humanity. I would venture that you saw that happening in that interview you pointed us to in the Author's Notes for Ch 26; I know I did.

Obviously, the thing to do is proactively defend yourself against accusations that follow the less useful appearances of arrogance on your part. Obviously.

But on the other hand, you should not ruin the subtlety of your story just because some readers do not understand that the protagonist does not always have the right view of things. If you make everything obvious, those of us who have figured out what Sirius did will have nothing to lord over our friends.

What is an author to do?

Maybe just get a couple of the more reasonable of the noisome critics on your beta staff to watch for those places where really nasty things like bigotry (Ch 7) or the entitlement of the meek (Ch 27) might be inferred. Maybe make more friends who graduated from liberal arts colleges. Maybe cultivate in yourself that ability to see the worst in things.

Or, screw it, keep it up and let the peasants rail against your better judgment. _I_ like what you are doing, even though I like the changes you have made.
nobodez chapter 27 . 7/1/2010
The most annoying part about reading the rcent reviews is that reviewers assume that just because it's the opinion of a character, a well read, yet ultimately, far from omniscient eleven year old boy, that it's also the opinion of the author. Even rational!Harry could see through this logical fallacy, and we all know how bad he is at logic. Just because someone makes an opinion of rapes in different parts of the world doesn't mean that they have hard evidence about said rapes. From my liberal education in late twentieth century/early twenty first century America, I'd assume that more misogynistic locales like Sub-Sarharan Africa and the Arabian Peninsula would have higher rates of rape. Mind you, the reported rapes would, and possibly are, lower than in more liberal western societies, like the aforementioned England, but still, it seems like a logical assumption to me. Of course, now I know that the rates of reported rape and rape convictions are higher in the western world, especially England, but those are the facts, facts that an eleven year old boy who is obsessed with scifi, fantasy, and schoolwork, wouldn't have need nor want to acess, since "everyone knows" that the misogynistic regions have morer rape since they care less about their women (note, this is an assumption, and not a statement of fact, but instead, common opinion in the western world among those without sufficient information).

For the chapter itself, ,I find that it was a wonderful lesson is understanding the need for voracity in sources of information. Of course, Harry should have asked for more information, and realized that this was isolated information without proper context.
Skay-39 chapter 27 . 7/1/2010
Hello Less Wrong,

At first, I want to say I'm french, so my english isn't perfect. Please forgive me for my probable mistakes.

I'm following this story since a while, and I'm really fond of all "your" characters and the way you use all the canon facts to give harry the place everyone was hoping him to take, thought they have no idea how he really manage to do what he did. Voldemort, Mc Gonagall, Draco are really much more consistent in your fic than in Rowling's books, it's a pleasure to see you use all their potential.

You manage to mix hard reality and humour with great talent. I now really need my regular dose of MoR.

There is just a point that puzzled me. Is the reason why Harry never notice the strange accurate between people's name and personality because canon!Harry himself should have see that since the beginning if Rowling thought he was supposed to ?

Whatever, thank you for your work, I will continue to follow it with great plesure.
MiiRsEnd chapter 27 . 7/1/2010
Well, I dont care what anyone else thinks, I love it.

I am secretly hoping he becomes god!

I love the twins prank too, especially theirr oblivation.

Well done.
nth-x chapter 27 . 7/1/2010
You know, I can't help but feel that your final line in this chapter, about how Harry couldn't possibly put himself in Quirrelmort's frame of mind, because you had to stay in your world and fight if it contained a place like Azkaban, pretty much epitomizes the difference between your Harry and your Voldemort.

Voldemort left the wizarding world framework to take over from the outside, whereas Harry seeks to learn everything about the existing framework, and unearth fundamental rules from within the system.

Voldemort sought power and immortality as a means of addressing his personal fear (of death), and to meet his own expectations for himself, whereas Harry seeks power and immortality (to become God) to meet the expectations that others have in him, regardless of his fear of becoming a dark lord.

On another note, I was somewhat confused in the occlumency scenes. While they were internally consistent, they didn't seem to flow from one scene to the next very well. I didn't get a feel for how they fit into the timeline. Also, there seemed to be rules in place (the legillimencer not remembering anything from the session, for example) that we hadn't encountered before. I guess they were understandable from context, but it seemed like they were referenced in a rather obscure manner.

As always, thanks for writing!
Less Wrong chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Much as I enjoy seeing the number of reviews climbing, I don't feel that these reviews have been earned the way I want to earn them. I've turned anonymous reviewing off for now and will restore it when the next chapter is posted.

I've also tried a rewrite on Ch. 7 which I don't feel is a literary improvement, but which does make it clearer that Harry is talking about the Enlightenment having mostly solved the problem of nobility rather than the problem of rape, and which eliminates the explicit reference to Saudi Arabia and the Congo as specific non-Enlightenment countries. Most readers, it's pretty clear, didn't take that as racist, but it now also seems clear that if someone is told to *expect* racism and pointed at the chapter, that's what they'll see. Aren't preconceptions lovely things?
anon chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Wrynn - Lesswrong said that Harry missed several other possible conclusions in his AN for chapter 23 because he (Harry) doesn't know that much about genes!

I'm a sycophant? I have neither flattered nor accused anyone! Well now I'm going to make an accusation: You're a συκοφάντης (sykophántēs in case FF doesn't allow greek characters)!

RTam

I was not suggesting lying. Just asking what the reason for the dramatically different figures for rape and convictions are.

I was wondering if the discrepancy might be due to different levels of burdens of proof for a criminal conviction and a statistical analysis.

Way to get offended over nothing.

trevalyan

What the actual state of affairs in those countries is is irrelevant. All that matters is that when lesswrong says 'what comes to a bookish 11 year old's mind when trying to come up with real world examples of cultures that are sufficiently fine with rape that it can be talked/planned about openly are places like Saudi Arabia and Congo'* it does not mean lesswrong is racist.

*quoting myself describing what lesswrong was saying here as I have yet to properly master the comma
physicsteach chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
I've been enjoying this story a great deal for a number of reasons - my username gives a lot away, here - but the last few sentences of this chapter took things to a new level of awesome.
Wrynn chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
anon - There ARE huge scientific errors and logical fallacies, and I was neither looking for nor counting them. I don't have the time to give you or the typist a biology lesson, but suffice it to say that he's simplified mendelian genetics to the point of idiocy AND come up with an obviously wrong conclusion to boot. It has been completely clear since the publication of Chamber of Secrets that magic could not possibly be a single gene trait. Let's not even talk about the fact that he a priori assumed the "magical gene" to be recessive. And I say this as someone who's actually done work in the field, as oppossed to being a wunderkind wannabe.

And the whole thing about the children of Squibs being either magical, muggle or squibs? How the hell do you distinguish between a muggle and a squib if they have the same parentage without a genetic analysis that portraits are ill-equipped to perform?

It's safe to say that the typist's pretentiousness is not supported by his knowledge or intelligence.

Then there's the casual racism in Chapter 7, as well as the racist apologetics in Chapter 27 and the AN. Not to mention the misogyny and the nice-guy syndrome that the typist practically exemplifies.

In other words, whoever used the term "fan-poodles" for sycophants like you was spot on.
Entropic Specter chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
What an amazing excrement storm. People really enjoy being righteously offended, huh? I even got collect some beautiful exemplars of motivated cognition at the like. Not so much around here, though. Over there.

Anyway. Everybody had their fun now, right? Most issues should be addressed, no? Let's all just calm down and enjoy some peaceful introspection, for now. (And a new chapter some time soon, despite all this, hopefully.)

Note to our dearest author: "Reviewing" twice for the same chapter isn't something I usually do, but eh. Just count it for one of the earlier ones. Also, I'd feel a bit reassured if you could find the time to read the last few volumes, so lack-of-information induced misunderstandings such as this can be avoided.
Junkie chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
There's something bothering me about this chapter that you haven't addressed in your author's notes. At the end of the chapter, Snape tells Harry a story about being rescued from bullies by a girl he was interested in. Yet, at the very end, when Harry fails his conversation saving throw, his guess is that this person was Harry's father? I don't quite follow Harry's train of thought.

I know earlier in the chapter Harry made the connection that Snape wanted to tell Harry something about bullying and his father, and that his first assumption was that James protected people from bullies, but I don't get how he can be so dead set on that conclusion that he'd sooner predict that "Snape is lying about being protected by a beautiful girl and it was actually a boy" instead of "Snape is trying to say my father was the bully" or "My mother was the shallow girl". Even if he didn't believe it, it's surprising that it didn't cross his mind that Snape might be trying to say it.

That aside, I love the fic, and I'll keep reading it regardless, so take my complaint with whatever size grain of salt you please.
trevalyan chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Ah- two things. First off, Unagi, Anon? You'd be surprised how talking about raping someone would probably not go down so well in Saudi Arabia OR Congo. Just because rape is considered either an acceptable tool of warfare by the brutes that commit it, or a privilege to be lorded over exploited workers, does not make it okay for general conversation in a culture at all. Please be very sure that you know what you're talking about before you say how rape is regarded by non-Western countries. And how statistics on rape are gathered in the Western world. It makes people with non-Western backgrounds think you regard -us- as savages.

Second thing- Christ, look at how fucked up this conversation is. Yeah, countries with Western Enlightenment also regarded women with respect and not as chattel at all. Even a look at the antebellum American South and England before the 20th century will show horrifying treatment of other human beings, and certainly objectification of their bodies. Forced prostitution has long been a staple of organized crime, for instance. And rich young people of many Western countries seem convinced they can indulge their vices and get away.

I'm really hoping that the author holds the presence of mind to understand these issues. Harry PEV, who now doesn't really resemble Harry Potter in the slightest, seems to have this idea that no one besides Rational People (such as himself) understands the world in the ways that are obvious to him. Between his opinions on other cultures, his God complex, his thoughtless nature about the magnitude of what his parents sacrificed for him, and his paper-thin morality, I am really starting to hate this character even though I'm still reading the story. I perceive him how the hero of an Ayn Rand novel OUGHT to be perceived.

And I hoping that the payoff comes out, because I suspect there's a lot of people in this AU, never mind in the reviews, who hate Harry PEV for the same reasons.

RTam, I hear your problem, but hear me out before you throw more invective at LW. A lot of people with too much faith in Western, "rational" thinking are extremely blind to understanding other cultures and perspectives. Right now, this Harry is so blind I'm thinking that the story is going to make this blindness a plot point. Just look at the author notes where he says Harry isn't sensitive about racism. LW is clearly aware of these issues, though it's less clear what will be done about them. If you want to talk about problems you have with the fic, I'm up for it.

But LW? You really might want to read Deathly Hallows before you continue much further with this project. Saying as an author that Lily should forgive Severus, without knowing the full nature of what Severus was doing in school, is going to -badly- offend those people who do know what the score was. I understand that this fic is only based on the books, not a secret history of them, but the idea that Lily rejected poor widdle Severus for pretty rich James is going to be met with hostility from some quarters. Especially when she went way out of her way to stand up for Severus while the non-Death Eater parts of the school are having a laugh, and got reminded of the fact that she's the untermenschen to him and his Death Eater pals in thanks.

I get some of what you're trying to do here, in inverting some of the ideas people might have about the books. I feel, though, that taking most of the protagonists out of Gryffindor and making most of its representatives even worse bastards than the Slytherin students is starting to become uncomfortable. Like what was done with Carl Sloper and his pack, though I thought the possible Percy Weasley reference was nice at the time because that's totally in character even for the Rowling U version.

In retrospect, I think this premonition of mine was made even worse by reading your author notes. I really do hope your Dumbledore is only an Asperger's case with a distrust of the two Dark Lords in his school. The thought that there are three Dark Wizards in a Black and Black morality play will be very depressing.
RTam chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Unagi

Ah, okay. Just read the edited author's notes and your comment and see now what he meant. Outrage officialy redacted.

"So you are completely sure that 85,000 were raped and only 800 convicted? Not a lot of faith in the courts I take it? Or is it that the burden of proof to say "X was raped" is 100 times lower than that to say "X was raped by Y"?"

Ah, lovely. Women are lying liars who lie about being raped, have I got the gist of it? I mean, they got so much to gain from making that claim. Having been raped is, like, huge street cred.

The numbers I used are from here, btw: .
EightPoint chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Anyone who thinks that using racial slurs is no big deal and warrants automatic forgiveness is either clueless or a closet racist.

After reading Chapter 7 I think I know which is the case here.
anon chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
RTam

Polaris said that lesswrong said "only brown people casually rape"

What is said in chapter 7 is that what comes to a bookish 11 year old's mind when trying to come up with real world examples of cultures that are sufficiently fine with rape that it can be talked/planned about openly are places like Saudi Arabia and Congo (I'd have said South Africa but meh).

Not even close to the same thing is it?

So you are completely sure that 85,000 were raped and only 800 convicted? Not a lot of faith in the courts I take it? Or is it that the burden of proof to say "X was raped" is 100 times lower than that to say "X was raped by Y"?
RTam chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
"WTF? When does lesswrong say only black people casually rape?"

Yeah, I just went back to look for that and... holy shit.

Chapter 7

"Even in Muggle-land it (casually plotting rape) was probably still happening, somewhere in Saudi Arabia or the darkness of the Congo. It happened in every place and time that didn't descend directly from the Enlightenment."

LessWrong, in the UK, that bastion of Enlightenment, ca. 85.000 women were raped in 2006. That same year, only 800 persons were convicted of rape. It's the lowest conviction rate in Europe, and Europe's average conviction rate really ain't that high. Marital rape wasn't even outlawed until fucking b1991/b.

Rape is not something that only savage brown people over there in foreign countries do.

You know, I actually started out with a lot of good will toward you, but... wow. Just wow.

GDIAF
gg chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
anon "WTF? When does lesswrong say only black people casually rape?"

In chapter 7. You know - the one where Draco tells Harry how he is going to rape poor Luna.
anon chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Winter

And if science shows that it's true that there do exist teenage girls who are much more likely to forgive someone rich or hansom than someone poor? Will you accuse the reality itself of being misogynistic?

Polaris

WTF? When does lesswrong say only black people casually rape? I've searched through the entire fic to see if there might be some substance to your BS. Guess what? There wasn't.

Also, list the errors or STFU.
Winter chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
'"And there you have it," said Harry. "Not that I've ever been through high school myself, but my books give me to understand that there's a certain kind of teenage girl who'll be outraged by a single insult if the boy is plain or poor, yet who can somehow find room in her heart to forgive a rich and handsome boy his bullying. She was shallow, in other words. Tell whoever it was that she wasn't worthy of him and he needs to get over it and move on and next time date girls who are deep instead of pretty."'

Wow. You really are a 'nice-guy' aren't you?
Polaris chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
I found at least seven scientific/logical errors in your* fic and I wasn't even trying. Please stop being so pretentious. You're neither as smart nor as enlightened as you think. And your vile racism (only brown people casually rape) is pretty offensive.

*I know you and your fan-poodles are going to claim that the errors and Harry's and not yours, but your 'Harry' is as blatant a self-insert Mary-Sue as Bella Swan or Eragon.
ilikebluepineapples chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Ichihime: Yup! The only chapter that rivals it for awesome is Chapter 5, which is a very different kind of awesome altogether. I reread that one many times because it me laugh like a maniac, but I reread this one because it has... fantasy fulfillment, to be honest, to this Snape-Harry friendship shipper :)
ilikebluepineapples chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Well I don't know, I'm partial to scrawny midgets myself!

Kutta: Many of my favorite works of art have problematic parts. I can appreciate the work as a whole while acknowledging that certain parts of it are problematic and criticizing those accordingly. You are right that boycotting any works with any racist or misogynistic influence is unrealistic if one doesn't want to boycott most classic literature, but the opposite extremes of completely ignoring the problematic parts or chalking them up to a "different time" or "different culture" and therefore implicitly condoning them are Not. Any. Better. What's wrong with saying "this is a brilliant piece of art by a masterclass artist, but section so-and-so contains some troubling attitudes towards gender/race?" Or for that matter, "this is a great fanfic but some of the views espoused by the protagonist (which you seem to support) are problematic for these reasons?"
Ichihime chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
...

I think this was the best chapter so far. At least it feels like that right now.
Kutta chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
I'm appalled and outraged at all the "moral" whining here. How would Constellation react to Tolstoy, Nabokov, D. W. Griffith, Vonnegut and million other goddamned masterclass artists who all created about 10E120 times more "offensive" works than Less Wrong. I have a hard time imagining you leaving your house without being offended by the first lamppost.
RTam chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Zargon

"It's frankly amazing how many people are bringing out information from the books to condemn Harry's take on Lily/Snape, as though this Harry has read the canon and isn't just going off of what very little Snape told him. I mean, really?"

They're not breaking out the canon for Harry, but for the author, who seems to be partial to the "Lily is a shallow bitch" interpretation. Which, in light of the canon, is frankly ridiculous.

Also, author? Quit pretending that James was handsome. He wasn't. Harry is his look-alike and, last I checked, he's a scrawny midget.
Zargon chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
"never make a statement in your author's notes again about whether or not the characters are correct."

He should explain and justify his characters, otherwise people who are unable to separate their knowledge of Lily and Snape's relationship from Harry's will just decide to hate Harry instead of Less Wrong, with the same net outcome.

It's frankly amazing how many people are bringing out information from the books to condemn Harry's take on Lily/Snape, as though this Harry has read the canon and isn't just going off of what very little Snape told him. I mean, really?
ICWT chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
LW,

Am I the only person here who detached himself from his/her own hurt feelings and noticed your first use of rational!Snape ? Severus tested his hypothesis that Harry might not be as big a pillock as James, based on observations of un-James like behavior. Of course, he also had a built-in bias (don't we all?) that Harry would finally show him the forgiveness he felt he was owed from Lily. Instead, he got another perspective that showed her as less stellar and that his sniveling worship might be misplaced idolization and that he had wasted opportunities to be a really great Death Eater.

And all this is utterly besides the point! All the pensieve memories can show you is one person's perspective, we don't know everything about Lily's or James' memories of those events or why the then Heads of House seem curiously absent from any of these flashbacks and irresponsible. Yes, they are teachers, not nannies, but as Quirrelmort's dojo story tells us, those who teach the powerfully talented but young have a duty to the world to shape their attitudes towards abuse of their powers. And there, Michael and Petunia have fallen a little short, even if rational!Harry had no magical ability at all and never went to Hogwarts, he is clearly several bricks shy of a library. I have a bi-polar son and I know the normal parenting standards are totally unapplicable to him. I have to connect to him as he is, not as who I wanted him to be.

You are totally raising the bar for what good fanfiction can be and I thank you. Absolutely fabulous chapter. The POV shifts were marvelous. - InCestusWeTrust
anon chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
Constellation Maiden

Whether or not X should accept an apology from Y on this issue depends a whole lot on the context.* In this context he was under tremendous emotional strain and "needed" to reassert himself as not at the complete bottom of the pack to prevent himself being even more isolated. These are exceptional circumstances and it is incredibly unlikely to happen again.

The author is saying that forgiving and becoming the SO of someone who has repeatedly used physical and emotional abuse on people is stupider than accepting an apology from someone who had been her friend for a while.

This is NOT enough to conclude that Lesswrong has contempt and hatred for women.

* I have called others unpleasant things that could be considered labelling someone less than human ("bitch!") and others have called me nasty things (for instance one of my sisters called me a pig (less than human!) when I was ten). Doesn't mean we can't be friends.

But on that note...

Lesswrong, I STRONGLY advise you to include a disclaimer "My own views often do not match that of the characters." and never make a statement in your author's notes again about whether or not the characters are correct.
Jack chapter 27 . 6/30/2010
I'm really confused by some of the reactions to this chapter. I can see people being concerned that the author agreed with Snape's attitude toward Lily prior to his specifically disclaiming that position since the reader is asked to empathize with Snape and people have a lot of trouble disentangling agreement from empathy. This was presumably part of what the chapter was doing- trying to force the reader to empathize with Snape, see the situation we are familiar with from canon through Snape's eyes. It is pretty hilarious how many reviewers don't seem capable of this. The money and good-looks explanation for Lily forgiving James and Snape doesn't strike *me* as the best one but it seems reasonable that it would be the first one to occur to 11-year-old Harry given his limited experience and the information he has about the context. But okay, I guess people have a hard time with narrative perspective.

The racism charge, on the other hand, is really just bizarre. Mudblood may be a racist slur... but it's, you know, a fake racist slur from a series of fantasy novels. There is no systemic system of discrimination against the children of non-wizards since, uh, wizards are make-believe. Now maybe the author doesn't fully appreciate the canon use of the term, and that's a reasonable criticism. But it is totally bewildering to jump from that to claiming that the author is an *actual* racist.
Pygmalion chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
Poor Snape. Poor Lestrange. Poor Potter. Masterful storytelling, and a sad twist. Great job!
Alo Amicus chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
This was beautiful. I'm not sure what else to say - your characters are perfectly seasoned, their dialogues developed and reactions well tuned. Thank you.
wobster109 chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
I just want to say that I am a woman, and I sympathize with Severus Snape entirely. I don't believe the author is misogynistic. I was only fortunate that I learned from an early age to not bother with trying to fit in.

Snape was a teenager in a house that's largely merciless to those who do not fit in. True, it was a stupid move on his part to take the anti-muggleborn position. (My own sister has friends who are anti-gay simply because they think it is "cool" to be so.) But the social pressures placed upon teenagers is everywhere, and huge. Is he really so unforgivable? He himself stated in the chapter that he did not really have prejudices against muggleborns.

To those of you comparing Snape to a wife-beater or a violent, abusive husband, that's largely unfair. That's like saying, I called my significant other a bad name. Oh noes! It's just as bad as actually doing violence. (That's exactly what you're saying.)

For goodness sakes, the title of the chapter is Empathy. Have a little empathy. Imagine that you are young, and teased by the popular kids, and they've just hung you upside-down and laughed at your underpants. Laughed because your underpants were ragged, instead of sympathized that you didn't even have the basic comfort of good underpants. You feel humiliated in front of not only your rivals, but also your own house members. Imagine that the closest thing you have to friends are house members who would cast you away without a second thought if you were different. Then, you are saved by a girl who your house members scorn. You worry what they would think, and also you're ashamed of appearing weak in the eyes of the girl you like, and you're embarrassed and ashamed, and then you make a momentary bad decision.

Is that really so unforgivable?
Allen Pitt chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
Great chapter. Up to the point where HP thinks there might be an innocent in Azkaban. Everyone knows that's impossible!

But if he really cracks the books, maybe he can earn 2 points someday.
TJeanetteT chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
I love Harry's attitude. And that he feels so bad for people even when they treat him like he just did something wrong instead of the opposite.
thewanderingmonster chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
Myes: now I don't have any insight into the author's mind, but: you *are* aware that it is perfectly possible for an author to write a character that they do not agree with - right?
Pheonix Eternia chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
You know, I have a learning disability, a nasty one that makes social interaction both a chore and a punishment. Only the fact that my mother didn't know I had it and kept throwing me in amongst people let me learn enough social skills to seem (mostly) normal. It took me fifteen years to learn the practical application of 'tact' and it always seemed the rest of the world was privy to a secret handshake I never learned. That bit of dirty laundry exposed, as I read Harry, I get disturbing flashes of my childhood confusion. Your Harry is far more successfully manipulative than I ever was, but his inability to apply his understanding (he's not alone in his paper resources) to situations around him appropriately is both unhappily familiar, and frustrating. I feel like I know exactly what the dunce is about to do wrong and want to slap a hand over his mouth before he does it. Since I can't and he rarely manages to catch himself before he does it, I usually end up with mental diatribes regarding his ignorance. I think it is a measure of your talent as an author that I can associate with him so well.
anon chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
A says: "Rich and hansom teenage male bullies are more likely to be forgiven than poorer males."

Conclusion: "A hates or has contempt for women."

Non sequitur much?
cosmosinstrife on lj chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
"Those of you who suggesting that the word "mudblood" is so terrible as to have been sufficient in itself for Lily to never forgive Severus regardless of other problems, I have to disagree. Severus had been friends with Lily since childhood. The word was emitted in a moment of great stress, and he apologized many times afterward. That is the sort of thing friends should forgive."

Yeah but no. Perhaps Lily could've forgiven Snape if he wasn't hanging around with people who became the wizarding world's version of Nazis/the KKK. Snape made his choice and he only has himself to blame that his friendship with Lily disintegrated. Why should Lily forgive him for knowingly saying such things to her? Why should Lily forgive Snape when later he joins a group determined to wipe people like her out?
The Night Queen chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
"Those of you who suggesting that the word "mudblood" is so terrible as to have been sufficient in itself for Lily to never forgive Severus regardless of other problems, I have to disagree. Severus had been friends with Lily since childhood. The word was emitted in a moment of great stress, and he apologized many times afterward. That is the sort of thing friends should forgive."

You seem to be forgetting he called her mudblood (the magical version of the n word) during a period of time, when Voldemort was murdering them. Also, during this time he was distancing himself with Lily while hanging around with people she knew to be racists and eventually became death eaters in adulthood.

When he called her that. He showed his true nature to her. She wouldn't accept his apology because she knew he called other muggleborns mudbloods. So why shouldn't she be called one? Because he liked her. He apologized to her, not because he used the word which demeans half the students as to being less than human. He apolgized because he used said word to her. That was what was so unforgivable to her.

She saw a bigot, who seemed to like her in Spite of being muggleborn and ended it.

Stress is no excuse. This is the same excuse wife-beaters and their spouses use, "They were just mad, they won't do it again."

When it makes more sense to say if they did this once. They'd do it again.

I worry for any women in your life. If you believe this not to be the case.
ilikebluepineapples chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
Don't mind all the people saying you're a misogynist. You're not (well, probably. It's not like I really know you just through reading a fanfic though). It's just that enough women have heard the Poor Mr Nice Guy explanation as a justification for stalking and/or emotional abuse, and although it's not the same context, the instant associations that rise to mind when women hear that kind of thing aren't positive. You're probably best off taking these concerns with a grain of salt, but not such a big one that you dismiss them as oversensitive cray-cray either. And thanks for writing this fic! This chapter was very enthralling, and the extra time you took on it shows. Just maybe next time you have Harry do amateur psychology, you do a disclaimer like you did with the natural selection chapters?
Laura Harkness chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
wow. you are brilliant on just so many levels.
109 chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
This is so intense 3

Please involve Newcomb's Paradox in the story somewhere! It is my favorite of all strange mind games.
LaRoseDeSoleil chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
So, um, holy shit you're awesome. This is one of the best-written and -thought out fanfics I've seen in quite a long time. You do the 'applying logic to the wizarding world' thing very well- so many stories of those type start with correcting the obvious problems that make all of our brains hurt in canon, but proceed to discovering obscure bylaws/goblin etiquette/other stuff that is just made up to give Harry superpowers. I'm sorry I don't have time to review each chapter, but a few notes: the scene where Quirrell projects the illusion of space was just beautiful, the Compleat Enchanter allusion made me a little bit happy inside, and in regards to your profile page, CTY is awesome. My one complaint is that Harry has not yet put a towel in his pouch, despite the advisability of knowing where your towel is at all times.
Wolfric chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
Fine chapter. It looks like Harry is learning the hard lessons the hard way but that's how they stick. Thanks for writing. W.
MiceOnJupiter chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
Maybe Lily would have stayed with Snape if he hadn't called her a racist slur and been more interested in being a friend than joining a group bent on murdering people like her and her family?

In short: James Potter isn't the rich jock who dated the girl you liked. And, while at Hogwarts, Severus Snape was a goose-stepping racist jerk.
Myes chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
What we have here is classic 'nice guy' syndrome. Only a misogynist would write such crap.
Kageshimaru chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
As a writer, I think the psychology that accompanies crafting a world must often be that one wants to form solutions for characters that are cared about. It seems so much more interesting though to give them problems, to make them screw up. I'd say more but it almost seems redundant to do so. The characters depicted here are so much more than your standard 2 dimensional script that might make their world easier, and might hand them solutions to their problems instead of just letting them be characters. As always, I'm eager for the next chapter.
Eliza chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
Snape was a good friend to Lily? Even though he ignored her complaints about his friends (who later became Death Eaters), called her the vilest racial slur and didn't deny his intention to become a Death Eater when he came to apologize to her? And then he really became a Death Eater and got her killed. Totally a good friend.

"Those of you who are all like "Lily Evans was a good and virtuous woman and she broke off her friendship with Snape because he was studying Dark Arts, and she didn't go anywhere near James Potter until he stopped bullying", remember, Harry only knows the information Severus gave him. But also... a plain and poor boy is a good friend to a beautiful girl for years, and loves her, and pursues her fruitlessly; and then when the rich and handsome bully cleans up his act a bit, she goes home with him soon after... considering just how normal that is, I don't think you're allowed to write it and not have people at least wonder."

You sound like a Nice Guy here. All that misogyny is sickening.
Vindictus chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
I rather enjoy this story, as it is a fresh and interesting perspective on the HP universe. I'd like to ask a question, however, because this has been bugging me for a while-

I had assumed that Hogwarts was founded around the 15th century [As from what I understand, that was the era in which ginormous castles were popular], but in your story you say that Bacon was invited to Hogwarts. At that point it hit me that your version of Hogwarts is probably a lot older, and I'd like to ask about when it was founded, assuming it's not important to the plot in some way.
JM0RIARTY chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
wow thats a pretty deep story all in all... sometimes its very funny like the parts with Harry and DRaco then its rather sad like the end of this chapter

a genius Harry doesnt have it very easy, but why is Harry having so much guilt about almost everything?

Mondy
pithy.one chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
Poor Harry, stuff keeps piling on, eh?
anonymous again chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
What kind of books did your Harry read? Or have you intentionally made him unable to grasp the issue in Severus's example?

Boy is wooing her and when Girl tries to help him, he calls her subhuman. That is a betrayal of trust. How could she trust anything him anymore if he can woo her, which implies some measure of success, and at the same time view her as less than human. The duplicity and the skill displayed to pursue her romantically, while thinking her subhuman at the same time, calls his every action, past and future, into question.

The bully on the other hand didn't hide his bullying from her in the example or he would have stopped as she appeared and she wouldn't have to rescue the boy. The bully is honest to her. She can believe she knows what she will get from and with him, while she is confused by the boy, fears that the insult showed his real mind and finds (or fears) herself unable to tell when he is sincere. That the boy is in Slytherin certainly didn't help any.

The situations are not the same. Unlike the girl had with the boy, Harry had barely any emotional investment in Lestrange, if any at all. He didn't know him and their relationship extended only as far as that encounter. He also hasn't any investment in Lestrange's parents, unlike Neville. It is easy for him to forgive because the actions have very little impact on him. Lestrange calling him subhuman doesn't attack his confidence in his own judgement and doesn't constitute a betrayal of trust.
anonymous chapter 27 . 6/29/2010
What kind of books did your Harry read? Or have you intentionally made him unable to grasp the issue in Severus's example?

Boy is wooing her and when Girl tries to help him, he calls her subhuman. That is a betrayal of trust. How could she trust anything him anymore if he can woo her, which implies some measure of success, and at the same time view her as less than human. The duplicity and the skill displayed to pursue her romantically, while thinking her subhuman at the same time, calls his every action, past and future, into question.

The bully on the other hand didn't hide his bullying from her in the example or he would have stopped as she appeared and she wouldn't have to rescue the boy. The bully is honest to her. She can believe she knows what she will get from and with him, while she is confused by the boy, fears that the insult showed his real mind and finds (or fears) herself unable to tell when he is sincere. That the boy is in Slytherin certainly didn't help any.
Unsigned chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
I had planned to leave a long review, but I forgot what I was going to say. So yeah...
star chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
I don't like using the n-word either, but I think mentioning in comparison allows us to calibrate just how offensive and bigoted "Mudblood" is in HP-land. It's as offensive as the n-word, which rightly deeply offends most people. This is something that's easy for us fans to forget, I think, since the M-word gets used so casually in a lot of fanfics, but it is a *big deal* in canon.
Nigita chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
Merlin's knickers, folks. Snape's character is (very probably) not channeling the author's worldview.

And please stop strewing the N word around so freely. Whatever your intentions are, it's boorish at best, and it offends. Stop it.
Me chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
Wow. Spectacular story, you capture the emotions perfectly and you're very creative and I love the plot and Fred and George are hilarious and Quirrelmort is AWESOME! I like your portrayl of Harry especially.

Are you a published author (or thinking about becoming one) by any chance? If you are, could you put the title of your book in your bio or at the beginning of the next chapter or something, because I'd definitely like to buy it and read it.
The Pink Swan chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
I honestly don't think I'v e seen such strange logic. Lily is a bitch because she didn't go out with Snape? He called her, his best friend for years the magical equivalent of a nigger with months of ignoring her before hand.

"But he apologized! " - This line of logic reminds me a lot of people in abusive relationships, "He only hit me once! He said sorry!"

The woman who forgives the emotional/physical abuser. Even though it's quite clear if he did this once. He'll most likely do it again. Lily if anything got herself out of a potentially toxic relationship. Something any normal person would do. This is far from a shallow action.

"Erm, he wasn't actually prejudiced against Muggleborns, was he?" said Harry. "I mean, he was wooing one."

I can't believe you actually wrote this with a straight face. You might as well have said, "I'm not racist against black people. My bestfriend/girlfriend is black. " That's the same kind of logic you're using.

If anything this line of logic makes Snape even more pathetic.

"Not that I've ever been through high school myself, but my books give me to understand that there's a certain kind of teenage girl who'll be outraged by a single insult if the boy is plain or poor, yet who can somehow find room in her heart to forgive a rich and handsome boy his bullying. She was shallow, in other words. Tell whoever it was that she wasn't worthy of him and he needs to get over it and move on and next time date girls who are deep instead of pretty.""

Once again. Must emphasise. You are not understanding the gravity of calling Lily a mudblood. This was the equivalent of white guy calling his black friend a nigger. There is no one with any self respect that would take this much less stay friends with Snape. Considering Lily was always characterized as a strong woman.

Despite everything James did to Snape. He's always been pretty decent to Lily. He was also pretty quick to defend her (he seemed to be more offended than Lily was at Snape calling her a mudblood). So even though Lily may not have found him to be that great at least he unlike Snape had ever attacked her in such a way. He's also stated by nearly everyone to have grown up. Something Snape clearly never did. If he's willing to disparage his so called dearest friend to her orphan son that she died for.

TL; DR

You fucking suck.

Constellation Maiden
RTam chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
Wow.

Okay, first of all, I love your fic! Being a huge science nerd and an even bigger Harry Potter fan, this series is like crack to me :D

That said, I am somewhat troubled by the way Harry views racism. Very... well, very nonchalantly. Like it's not that bad. Serious privilege in action there, and I hope you'll address this topic more in-depth in future chapters.

I still feel that I have to stick up for Lily, though.

""Erm, he wasn't actually prejudiced against Muggleborns, was he?" said Harry. "I mean, he was wooing one."

Severus nodded silently.

"Well," Harry said, "based on only that information, I'm not sure he was the main one who had a problem. I'd have told him not to date someone that incapable of forgiveness. Suppose they'd gotten married, can you imagine life in that household?""

Seriously? I know the social sciences are not exactly fic!Harry's strong suit, but he did display an awareness of basic psychology. Bigots make exceptions for people they like. Just because someone has a black pal, doesn't make him a non-racist.

Paraphrasing Book 7

Snape: I'm sorry! I didn't mean to call you Mudblood.

Lily: But you call EVERYONE of my birth mudblood. Why should I be any different?

I wouldn't say anything, since it's plain that your characters are not mouthpieces for your opinion, but in your author's notes you seem... sympathetic to the "Lily is a shallow bitch" interpretation.

"But also... a plain and poor boy is a good friend to a beautiful girl for years, and loves her, and pursues her fruitlessly; and then when the rich and handsome bully cleans up his act a bit, she goes home with him soon after... considering just how normal that is, I don't think you're allowed to write it and not have people at least wonder."

Yeah, first of all, Snape did not pursue her fruitlessly. Oh yeah, he pined. But did he make his intentions known? Did he ever ask her out? No. He "pursued" her in incredibly passive-aggressive ways, that is, by badmouthing any competition, but never risking any actual rejection. From Lily's perspective they were friends, best friends, and it's not exactly fair to expect Lily to read his mind.

And for all his faults, the pretty rich boy did actually let her know that he had the hots for her.

Also? Yeah, it's easy to make her look shallow, if one leaves out the tiny, insignificant detail of the poor ugly boy gearing up to join the wizard!Nazi party, and the shallow bitch being wizard!Jewish.
Harriverse chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
Sounds to me like Snape just learned a truth that blew his conception of the world and decided to have a temper tantrum...and chose Harry as the recipient since he also said the truth. Then again, he was right to say both that awesome phrase he did, that I will treasure for the deep truth it conveys for all time, until I forget it in five minutes. You never really understand until you've walked a mile in the same moccasins. Then again, Harry-for all his supposed wisdom, is still a child. And for a thirty something man to forget that about an eleven year old child from another culture tells you just how 'mature' Snape is. Then again, I'm getting dizzy from all this point of view shifting. So Harry wants to be God and fix all the mistakes? Just goes to show how much of an innocent he really is. Actions cause reactions, and movement is life. You can't have one without the other...The truth hurts is both deeply profound and amazingly simple. I feel sorry for Harry already knowing that his maturity is going to hurt...and just how much his wrath over it could hurt the world. Basically, I can't see how you could avoid him going dark. Does that make me 'mature', or 'modern'? Believing that the hero ultimately suffers for their actions?
trevalyan chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
I'm not even sure if Snape realized something painful about Lily Evans. Maybe the words of a learned but unwise child could make Snape stop loving her memory... but I think it's more likely that maybe Snape realized something about himself.

He realized that despite his genius at Potions, despite his power, that there was something fundamentally WRONG with him. Even as a child. And that the wrongness pushed him away from Lily- not that Lily pushed him into wrongness. He's grown up from that, and tried to make amends, and almost became friends with the son of his unrequited love and his mortal enemy. Who hates Quidditch, whose mind is strong and subtle, who has the green eyes of Lily Evans, who was selected into the glorious house of Slytherin (if only for a moment), who can really use a well-meaning mentor to guide him to a path where he might actually be happy-

Severus saw himself in Harry PVE, until he came to the horrifying realization that Harry is even smarter and even worse than he was at that age. In the JKR series, we'd never need to worry what would happen if Severus and Harry ever grew to care for each other like Harry and Dumbledore. Maybe Severus has been given tasks by Dumbledore, which have necessarily become different as Harry has become different, and Severus, for all his cleverness, fell prey to the same trap JKR Dumbledore fell in.

But unlike Dumbledore, what he found was so disturbing that he decided to run far, far away from Harry PVE and never come back. I can't say that I blame him. This Harry, whether he knows it or not, think he has a way of charming the people he needs- and he's not entirely wrong.

I'm convinced that at least three members of the Hogwarts staff can see what's coming, even now, and have made deals that would have seemed absolutely unthinkable even eleven years ago. Because there are worse things than Voldemort, and because simply killing Harry PVE and feeding his body to the Acromantula isn't the Way of Good Wizards.

Yet.
aaronmicalowe chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
"and ran out of swap space."

I laughed because my mind was doing the same, haha.

I thought Quirrel pretended to be dizzy and was talking about Animagi to revel in the thought of Rita's fear before squashing her.

To me Quirrel's plans for Harry seem quite obvious which tells me that's probably an author's trap. But... *stepping into trap* by getting Harry to learn Occlumency it makes it easier for Harry to imagine being someone else - i.e. you-know-who. *looks for way out of trap*

As for Harry I'm not sure he knows what he really wants or how to get it and is unknowingly enjoying the honeymoon period before reality catches up. For someone who's supposedly intelligent he doesn't factor in his own minds limitations much and tends to overestimate his own abilities, often fluking a favourable result. Sounds like any 11 year old actually :o) *takes a look in the mirror*
clodiarisa chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
I don't know what I love more: that you allowed Neville to be awesome even earlier than in the books. Or that you gave Snape humanity even earlier, gave Snape and Harry a chance for understanding...and that Harry messed it up. Because he's a flawed human being and overconfident and...Love the story.

And is the Occlumency teacher's name really Mr. Bester or was Harry just being clever?
Guest chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
This chapter was exceptionally well done. Thanks.
Jarno chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
Interesting chapter, while I can understand Snape's reasoning, because it's subjective, objectively speaking James was in no way a bully.

What defines a bully? A person, or a group, preying on the weak who do not fight back. The memories we have from the interaction between Snape and the marauders do not show that. Snape gave as good as he had as well, he attacked them as well. That is not the relation of bully and victim but of a rivalry similar to that of Harry and Malfoy in canon but perhaps of a more vicious nature.
ultra dragon chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
you did read the seventh book right? Snape was actually aimig to be a death eater, and you have to admit we didn't really knew what happened fully, seeing as we lack the input of waht Lily said. so in theory she could be a shallow bithch, or someone who had enough, who is right? i have no clue seeing as i lack to much information to what was the thought procces of Lily at the time. we know a bit of Snape's mind from the books, and well we lack James one as well. but i do belive that the one who holds the most weight in this situation is Lily's, but then agian it just my opnion.

nice chapter by the way! too bad Snape and Harry will not contniue their convarstions (or you might change your mind, hopefuly).
Team503 chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
I am impressed. Normally, I read this story because it challenges my perceptions - of the potential depth of the world of Harry Potter, of the writers of fanfiction, and even of the world of science. I read it because I enjoy what comes of crossing fantasy with science and seeing core logic crossed with someone's Imaginarium.

Today, I read a story that was written by a person that is not just a rational thinker, but a fully compassionate, feeling being. This chapter truly understands the hero, strangely, in ways that few authors (or readers) ever do. The pain, the struggle, the isolation of *failing all the time* because you cannot help everyone with everything. The burning void within that is testament to the fact that you continue to allow suffering in a world that has no reason for it, that you allow others to hurt when *you do not*.

Growing up, I always wanted to be a hero. I wanted to be idolized, popular, famous, a star. I wanted, no, I *knew* I was born to blaze trails. It turns out that my deepest wish was also my greatest damnation, sadly. In my own right, I am a hero, though differently than I thought it would be. I lead my life with the needs of others ahead of my own. There is no fanfare, there are no ribbons, medals, or ceremony. I do not return the triumphant hero from the Great Journey or the Mighty Battle. Instead, I suffer. I suffer because I cannot heal the wounds between others. Because those I care for hurt and there is *nothing I can do*. I desire power and control not because I am a noble, selfless martyr, but because if I can use that power and control to stop others from suffering, then *I will no longer suffer*. I want to win not because I am a better person, but instead because I am more selfish than all that surround me and simply want to chase the brief feeling of happiness and pleasure and contentment that comes with solving the problems of others before returning to the gaping chasm of foolish self-sublimation.

So I applaud you for your understanding of how it truly feels. I pity you more so, though, because if you understand the way I think you perhaps do, then you feel as I do, and that is too horrible a fate to imagine.
lipasnape chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
Good grief!

I don't know if I am sorry or glad I cannot write something like this.

Congratulations either way.
Meatzman2 chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
Oh dear Harry messed up there! I see Snape's as pleasant as ever. Harry's learning slowly but surely and I quite enjoy watching his lessons.
Tiky3000 chapter 27 . 6/28/2010
That was just beautiful.
dsgdsfg chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
-swoon-

how beautiful.
marvinette chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
I'm not entirely clear why it's so terribly wrong for Lily Evans not to have fallen in love with Snape. She was his friend for years, until she could no longer stand being with someone who hated (or acted like he hated) all mudbloods except for her. It's not the case that Lily owed Severus love just because he loved her - being the object of an unrequited crush and then marrying someone else, even a handsome, rich, ex-bully, doesn't make you a monster.

It's interesting to have Snape become the Nice Guy of the Harry Potter series, and it's interesting to see his take on things - he insulted her a single time, and she refused to forgive him? That's very far from what the books describe (I assume the memories as described in HP7 were more accurate than the rendition given here).
loserthree chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
I do not think you need me to tell you, at this point, how awesome you are or how great this work is.

What I most love about this story is how it does so well regarding two of its attributes that are more often unmitigated flaws: the protagonist is a self-insert and the main force of the plot is wish fulfillment.

You, as a former child prodigy, present the story of a child prodigy learning some of those things you most wish you had learned while you were still a child. You have done well at this.

From one former child prodigy to another, bravo. I might wish I had done so well to articulate the lessons I have valued, but to see you communicating these lessons to the public is a stunning inspiration.

I understand that you are drawing on fields of study beyond your own personal, remorseful, anecdotal experience. That is not cheating; that is playing the game well.

Yours is the first fanfic that was appreciated by my non-fanfic-reading friends. Even without bothering to find out who you really are, some of them have commented that you are no amateur.

I am confident that you have already planned a scope of progression intended not only to satisfy fans of the original work, but also to communicate a helpful and complete collection of lessons to your past self and those like him.

I hope that after you finish what you have planned you find that you have more to plan and more to say. I hope that some way can be found to distribute a more traditional sort of edition. And while I am wishing I would like the low-rise jeans fad to end, manned space flight to be good for something more than learning about manned space flight, and a pony made of fire.

You are very awesome and this work is extraordinarily great.
anon chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Lesath is utterly horrifying. I hope that you don't drop him - this is the most touching part of this fanfic so far, for me at least.
SensiblyTainted chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
GO, Harry! I literally got choked up in this chapter. So much was going on, emotionally speaking. It was great to see Neville taking a stand so early. It was terrible the test Snape gave to Harry. And it was powerful empathy that Harry felt, that I felt through him, about the imperfect state of the world. Very powerfully written. I felt the pacing was a bit weird in the middle, but it steadied and had a resounding ending, carried perfectly. I laughed when the Seer-Luna inspired paper, the Quibbler, said that she and Harry would be married. It reminded me of what happened between Harry and Draco on the platform.
Tim Pressed chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Not constructive at all here. Wow, enjoyable. thank you.
Lacks Gravitas chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
After reading the latest chapter, I've finally decided that I don't like Harry. I'm just not seeing much discernible growth in him compared to the beginning of the story. He's still unrepentantly narcissistic and views anyone who isn't (almost) as exceptional as himself as poor ignorant peasants. The only reason I think he'd make a poor Dark Lord is because he isn't charismatic enough to draw others to his cause.

The Harry in Chapter 27 still believes and behaves almost exactly the same as the Harry in Chapter 1. That's a shame because other characters like Severus, Draco, and Neville have already hit some major milestones while Harry is still back at square one in the character development department. If you're building up for something, you'll need to pull the trigger soon. Delaying gratification for as long as you have is causing me to lose interest in your story.
uo-chou chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Wow, shocking scene with Harry and Severus. I couldn't imagine Snape being more shocking if he had, in fact, been given *the* shocker. Keep up the good work, as always this chapter was an excellent read. Also, I liked Harry including Neville in his exploits. Keep up the good work.
Furcas chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
My favorite chapter in a long while.

Nice Dresden Codak reference in the 'disclaimer'.

I don't understand this part at all:

""Um," Harry said to Hermione. "Can I just sort of go off and follow him and let you work out what I should say to make sure you're not all worried and offended?"

"No," Hermione said, her voice trembling.

Severus's laughter echoed from around the corner.

Harry bowed his head. "Sorry," he said lowly, "really," and he went off after the Potions Master."
nigita chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Woah. Your story is actually getting *better* as it goes along. I'd thought you were already more or less at the ceiling for fanfiction, but this...rivals some of my favorite works of children's lit. And you're not an author in the part of your life that has nothing to do with writing fanfiction? Really? So, if one is practiced enough at *other*, more challenging intellectual pursuits, writing captivating fiction is something one can pull off in one's spare time? I wonder if this is just you, or if any academically gifted person, with the interest and work ethic, could accomplish this?

Chapter 27 pretty much slew me. Had Snape been going to say that Harry was more like this mother, and then realized...that this would be his one chance to know what he, Snape, might have done differently with Lily? I enjoyed Harry puzzling out exactly how brilliant, capable, and completely inscrutable Snape is, yet ::nevertheless::, through his overconfidence, lower his guard enough not to wonder why Snape might care to ask his opinion and advice on such a trivial matter. Harry's always playing the game, except at this moment. Interesting! Even as I cringed to see Harry fail so thoroughly here, it was a perverse pleasure to see Snape win this round...sort of. Still: ouch.

Even though Harry managed to fail the test he'd just passed, I do hope Snape sits with this for a bit, and decides to have at least one more conversation with Harry. It's greedy, after this brilliant chapter, to hope for more direct matching of wits between Harry and Snape-Snape is the closest Harry has to an equal, I think-but I can live with feeling greedy. I hope that Snape is forced to change his mind.

Also, fun author's notes this chapter. It's a very nice touch that You Know Who is so very much Harry's superior. While it's pretty clear in the HP series that sooner or later, Harry is going to get You Know Who, it's not clear at all here who will win, except via literary convention.

Ron is never, ever going to appear again in this fic, is he? Hee!

I look forward (with some impatience) to your next update. I want to meet all these people that you are writing about. Amazing sleight of hand, that.
luosha chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
love the Bester cameo. sorry that Snape "will have very little to say" to Harry in the future ... since that was an AWESOME conversation.

felt a little squirmy when you presented simulationism as obvious/true/scientific FACT - when it's controversial, there's some evidence against, and we just don't have to tools to get the data needed to answer the question yet. not very good scientific practice. i know, i know, it's fiction. but still. feels like a lack of integrity in this case.
Zargon chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
I wonder if you don't misunderstand the cheering for Rita's death. Personally, I didn't have that feeling when Rita died, but I have felt happy at times in other stories when characters died simply because I didn't like the character.

The ramification for that character's death was I wouldn't be seeing the character I didn't like anymore in the story. The end. When people die in real life, even the most horrible of monsters, most people realize that's bad, or at least that some people are hurt by it. So, they're cheering because it's a fictional story. If it was real, (I hope) nobody would be cheering.

If you wrote a segment on innocent characters that were terribly hurt by Rita's death, I wonder if the reaction from somebody who cheered wouldn't be "thanks for the lecture - yes I know real death is bad but Rita isn't a real person, so why can't I be happy a character I hate is gone from the story?"
vitruvian23 chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
I don't know that I necessarily want VoldeQuirrel to be less powerful and competent, as to get some insight soon into what *his* divergence point is for no longer making elementary Evil Overlord mistakes. We know the PoD for Harry, but not for his similarly more canny nemesis.
Peregrinate chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Ooch. Ouch. Uch. Oh, poor Severus. Poor Harry. Very good advice.

Never give anyone wise advice unless you both know exactly who you're talking about.

Ouch. Good chapter, though. ;)

And I for your explination of Roger Bacon, I think it'd be more like giving a Writer the rough drafts and notes of a really famous writer dude. )
thewanderingmonster chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
wolf550e: ""Dumbledore turns himself invisible and sneaks into girls' dorm rooms?" - When did that happen?"

When Dumbledore wrote in Lily's textbooks.
hjcallipygian chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
This was a beautiful chapter.
krums chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Ha, Bester! As another reviewer said, tea and lungs are not meant to interact that way. I haven't read the Harry Potter series but I am enjoying this greatly.
Tess chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Wow. Thank you. I learned a lot from reading this.
Animekitty47 chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
The Quidditch rant was amusing.

Snape is awesome. Annoying/mysterious/frustrating, yet awesome. And you somehow managed to crank that up even more. Congratulations. My, my. Poor Harry. The bit after Snape left was certainly powerful. Excellent job. Especially the final line.
Asterix chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
*Sigh*... Well, there goes the hope that Snape could come to like Harry.

I guess with Quirrel replacing Dumbledore as Harry's father figure at Hogwarts, there was just no room for Snape, and yet the dynamics would have been very interesting.

I always felt that Snape had a lot of untapped potential, as a person, and while rational!Harry tends to make his friends' lives surreal, I believe he also has the ability to help his friends become better persons. Snape could certainly use some of that :P

As for Rita Skeeter: IMO, you sealed her fate in the heart of your readers when you wrote "Of course the man wasn't a real Death Eater. The paper wouldn't have published it if he was."

So, to her it was perfectly okay to destroy the reputation and quite possibly the life of an innocent and defenseless person - but not that of guilty but powerful one. I think our Harry would say "Unacceptable!"

With her article on Quirrel, she was trying to crush what she believed to be an innocent and defenseless man. That he proved to be anything but and *she* ended up crushed instead (except literally, rather than metaphorically) can easily be seen as a form of divine retribution: as you sow, so shall you reap.

Sure, it may be ironic that divine retribution should be dispensed using a creature of evil as an instrument, yet somehow it also seems strangely... Congruous, shall we say?

Mind you, had her *intent* been to expose what she honestly thought was a Death Eater, she would have been a hero, and we would all be mourning her.

I will, at this point, state the obvious - namely that, unlike all-powerful Dark Lords, people like Rita Skeeter exists in our reality as well, and any of us could become their victim in the blink of an eye.

Every so often, families are destroyed because innocent parents are accused of abusing their children, and it makes no difference how much ink you spend on retractions after the fact: someone will always find the original article, and the suspicion will always follow that person - long after parents and kids are dead and buried.

We see Rita Skeeter is exactly the kind of person who would gladly publish such an article: do you honestly wonder why many people cheered when Quirrelmort proved to be as good as his word?

Keep up the good work! Can't wait for the next chapter...
SituationalExtrovert chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
This chapter was brilliant. And the scene between Harry and Snape? I don't have the words to describe how utterly painful and gorgeous that was.

You. ROCK.
SevereWrath chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
This was a truly remarkable chapter. The way you (i) handled Snape, and (ii) handled the relationship between Harry and Snape was very, very well done. Pretty much makes up for the travesty JK Rowling made of it, without changing any of the specific detauls. Very nice.
Dumbledork chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Brilliant once again.
Kit chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
This one was amazing. You bring up so many things that never occur to me.
Bob Dole chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
So I was just wondering... do you lace your chapters with cocaine?

It's just that I can't seem to keep from reading when I see a new one.

Spiffy work, mate. Spiffy work.

Without wax,

Bob Dole
stalker32 chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Fine. I read through , because of what the meaning is not always obvious, but even so it is great. Very rare in fantsikshene authors are able to surpass the "professional" writers. I hope this story will last long. There will be a crime to quit writing, or by a rapid end to stir. Success, the author! And lots of free time and inspiration.
Always-Underrated chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Oh Harry. And I had hoped, just for one moment, that he could have patched things up with Snape... ah well.

Did Dumbledore obliviate Fred and George? Maybe I read into that wrong... I tend to miss the most important things in the plot. If it wasn't him, I can't wait to find out who it was; if it WAS him, on the other hand, why ever did the Twins go to him for help? It just doesn't make sense... I think.
SomeGuyFawkes chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Quite amusing in spots. Thanks for the update.
paganimagus chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
YAAAAAAAAAY an update!

Once again- very good
Nancy Lebovitz chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
That was a *hard* swat at "The Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas".

As for why Harry has such an exaggerated sense of responsibility, it might be that growing up on science fiction thing. A lot of science fiction is set up so that the hero can have a huge effect in a satisfying way. Perhaps Harry should have balanced it with reading history. On the other hand, he's living in fiction, so maybe he's right for his situation.

Lois McMaster Bujold has described sf as fantasy of political agency, and I think she's on to something.

I assume that shutting down Azkaban has a political solution rather than a magical or violent solution. This will be interesting to watch.

Why would Snape ask Harry for his take on Snape's past? One of the underlying premises of the story is that the smarter characters (possibly with the exception of Hermione) always have a deeper plan. Did Snape actually expect to get good advice? To be told that all his choices were correct? To have a reason to be angry at Harry? None of these make huge amounts of sense (to me, at least- I have trouble keeping track of all the scheming), even though the scene was very emotionally effective.
wolf550e chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
I read your author's notes before each chapter, so I'll review them first.

Some serial killers have families. This is not a good argument against the death penalty. Use other arguments if you wish to argue that position (fallible witnesses, evidence, cops, prosecutors, jurors and judges, to name a few).

Rita Skeeter was in the business of ruining lives. She was not a journalist or even a PR hack. People involved in PSYOP are valid military targets. Though taking her alive and getting sworn testimony against Lucius would be preferable, obviously.

FFN has good author feeds with autodiscovery. They are at most one hour old at any given time. I have been using them for a long time with zero problems. Items are stories that are updated instead of chapters that are added, but if your feed reader doesn't show this in a useful way you should replace it instead of creating a proxy feed (is that scraping FFN's html or does it just transform FFN's feed?).

"twisted the knife deeper" - twisting the knife does not get it deeper into the wound, instead it creates more tissue damage. This principle is used in hollow point bullets that penetrate less but have more stopping power.

Did the editor of the Daily Prophet successfully escape?

Your Dumbledore is supposedly competent but the way to the mirror is still laughably easy. Why is that?

"It wasn't as if any cognitive scientist understood humans well enough to make one." - Surely some cognitive scientists get laid.

"Dumbledore turns himself invisible and sneaks into girls' dorm rooms?" - When did that happen?

I wonder, who is Obliviating the Occlumency teacher after each lesson? Can they read his mind before performing the Obliviation? I'm guessing Voldemort is powerful enough and the Obliviation will mask the fact that Legilimency took place.

Why did you have Bellatrix be unmarried? Is it important that her son was born out of wedlock?

You took canon!Harry's saving people thing and turned it into a god complex. It fits your protagonist's megalomania. And yet, Lois McMaster Bujold writes awesome novels, while you write a sequence of occasionally amusing scenes interspersed with essays.

I don't get the bleeding heart thing re: Bellatrix. What is the good to society from not keeping her in jail? If the reason they don't execute people convicted for multiple murders is because new evidence may turn up, they can just dose them with Drought of Living Death and warehouse them in some secure location - there is indeed no good reason to torture prisoners with Dementors (I don't believe it reforms anyone and fanatics won't be deterred by punishment).

I think our philosophies are very different.
Gogolu chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Epic.
OrangeSlime chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
In relation to Harrys problem of magical inheritance. Isn't it much more likely that the solution lies in epigenetics and methylation? That is to say, every person has the magical gene but it is simply activated in some. So many different factors could contribute to the activation of the gene, including diet, stress levels and perhaps magical exposure in the wizard or his/her parents or grandparents.
jdboss1 chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
reread through your story I have a strange feeling that there is some powerful mysterious benefactor that helping Harry along you never directly said that it was McGonagle when Harry was given the suggestion to seek out Hermione on the train

it makes me feel for all of the time travel stories I have read that there's a couple hundred -year-old superpowerful Harry Potter walking around in the shadows pulling everybody's strengths

From the Weasley twins not having their memory i highly believe that they did it

I would have liked to sing Harry's viewpoint when being questioned by the magical police in real time that would have been interesting to have seen in more detail

I really appreciated the scene with Hermione and that ridiculous game that pass itself off as a sport another review summed it up perfectly

"I enjoyed the little scene with Harry and Hermione and how she was offended at the thought that Harry might try to protect her delicate little female self. Her reaction was priceless. Please write more scenes with Hermione; one per chapter would be excellent."

Or sure where you're coming with Snape I liked the fact that you have made his character more clever and deep but the way he physically manipulated Harry Potter into thinking ill of his parents

was ingenious in my personal opinion snake is on one side and that his side is totally opposite to any goal Harry Potter is trying to accomplish I would find it very hard to find a couple of the situations where he wants the same thing as Harry

I'm not trying to lecture to anybody that this statement am about to paste below from My_Gilded_Life story summed up the situation with Snape perfectly

-is Snape GOOD OR EVIL-

The sum total of all evidence in favor of Snape being a good guy amounts to: Snape says so. Dumbledore believed Snape when he said so (and we all trust that paragon of good judgment to never make a mistake. No, not ever)

Now for the evidence against: We have the testimony of every student who had him as a teacher. Even the Slytherins only like him because they feel he is a BAD guy! Every action of his we SEE, as opposed to hear about, is as foul and rotten as to cross every boundary of good conduct or decent behavior, all of which he should be expected to live up to as a school professor.

Snape joined a cult of murderers, and fit in well enough that not even their leader, who was supposed to be the most accomplished mind-reader in two centuries, and who could insist that his 'loyal' follower lower his mind shields and subject himself to examination, could find any fault with his behavior as far as loyalty to the cause. Not even after other Death Eaters had accused Snape of disloyalty and Voldemort had every right and reason to probe his mind carefully. No, a man who would kill for little or no reason found not even the slightest hint of disloyalty or 'flaws' like regret or remorse in him.

Snape killed Dumbledore, no one says he didn't, but he said he had permission . Now, what would the world be like if we let every murderer go who used the defense "he asked me to"? That is NOT a legally supportable defense! Even assisted suicide is STILL tried as murder! And that is when the victim does the deed mostly by himself and leaves behind letters and other physical evidence of his intentions, more than just the killer's word of "he asked me to"!

And most of those assisted suicide cases had terminal conditions.

On the excuse of having been mistreated as a youth, he'd then gone on to make a career out of abusing children for the rest of his life. It cannot be disputed that Snape terrorized a whole school, ruining countless children's education because he couldn't give up on his desire to inflict suffering on those who'd never done any harm to him, such as Neville Longbottom.

Neville's parents had never done anything to Snape that we hear of, so why does he terrorize Neville? Or was everybody in the world a bully EXCEPT Snape? And he was just 'getting back' at them?

Yeah, right. Like that's believable. You don't get a entire school full of children terrified of someone without a reason! And that reason is he takes every opportunity to hurt them! That is NOT a nice guy! No matter what he says!

Every opportunity he gets to hurt the students, either individually or as a body in general, he takes.

No, Severus Snape was no more of a 'good guy' than Pol Pot, whatever Rowling said. She may have meant otherwise, but that's not what she wrote.

Actions speak louder than words. And because memories can be faked, they are no better than words: him claiming something.

Now, Snape says that James was a bad guy. What is our evidence there? Once again we are faced with the awe-inspiring force of the argument: Snape says so.

Who else agrees with him? Why, no one! Not even other Death Eaters ever had a word to say against James! Not even PETTIGREW, who'd whined that he 'never meant to kill Lily and James'.

Do any other teachers? No, not one of them seems to have anything but the highest opinion of Lily and James. Does ANYONE but Snape EVER say anything nasty about Lily or James? NO! Not

even Dumbledore, who blindly agrees with Snape on almost every other issue. Every other person has a AMAZINGLY high opinion of him! So did Lily, if that was the man she married! Then,

even if we take Snape's claim that he loved Lily as true, how does he treat the child she left behind? Her only legacy and the last bit of 'her' still left in this world? With total

contempt and hatred, just as if Harry was all James and no Lily. Or... as if Snape's claims of love for Lily were as false as his other many other statements, say, of loyalty to

Dumbledore and the Dark Lord - he had to be lying to one of them! No, Snape may have been deluded enough to imagine that he loved her, but the evidence at hand all says he never had a

clue as to what love really is. If he wasn't just making it up, playing 'pity party' to get Harry to forgive him. Now THAT! sounds like a manipulative, ambitious person, doesn't it?

Lay down a few plots so that no matter which side triumphs, you are on it? Perhaps claim credit for a few events you heard about, but had no part in? No, if you say 'scheme', suddenly

those out of character moments make so much sense with regard to the Snape we actually know, rather than the one we merely hear about. Ultimately, he did so much hurt and evil during

his life that, even if he DID those things he was claiming, it in no way comes close to making up for all of the bad. A rare few, tiny deposits on the good side doesn't counter the

massive karmic debt he worked up being evil, hurting an entire generation of kids - and let's not even discuss his Death Eater duties! And what about Snape's claim that James and his

friends were bullies, not Severus himself? Well, claims aside, every time we see Snape in the books HE is the one being a bully (or a toady). So, which do you want to believe, his

claims or his actions? They do nothing but contradict each other, so it is one or the other. Every time we see Snape 'on screen' as it were, he is an evil, self-righteous bastard whose

behavior is less mature than a typical kindergarten student. And he maintained that for over a decade when there was no hint of his old boss around to impress. But we are supposed to

believe it when he tells us he's really a tender old softy inside? It can only be two things, either insanity (schizophrenia and delusions are both possibilities), or it is a scheme.

Either the guy is fruitier than a nutcake, or he was lying to get off easy should the Light win in the end.I'd been an actor long enough to know that the longer you wear the mask, the

less it becomes a mask. Anyone who takes on a role finds themselves slowly shifting to become it. So, even if this STARTED as a part Snape was playing... it didn't stay one for long.

There is an old saying used to comfort shy children, "Act like you are more confident, and you will be." However, in Snape's case that quote could be modified to, "Act like an evil,

self-righteous, stuck up prick, who carries childish grudges forever, and picks on those weaker than him, and you will be." Rowling's attempt to 'save' Snape in her last book made about

as much difference as rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. The man was evil. A few, isolated good deeds do not make up for a lifetime spent doing harm. Hitler did favors for

people he liked, but are you going to think he is a hero? And that's even assuming those deeds even happened. No one with any sense is going to argue that Snape didn't destroy the

potions education of who even knows how many students, and Potions is a required subject for both Healers and Aurors - jobs that save lives. So, Snape was directly responsible for more

destruction over a longer time than probably any other Death Eater. And Albus helped him do it.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Brilliant chapter 1 of your best keep up the excellent work

Best story 2010
Starlight Chibi-chan chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
wow, the part where snape and harry interact was absolutely chilling. it's really interesting to see how brilliant and yet overly arrogant harry is at times!
celopmuh chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
"Bester"? Nice reference, thanks for the mental image.

Harry's revelation about his father is done way better than in the book. (Reader's prior knowledge of the books helps, though.) Overall very powerful ending of the chapter.

(I'm curious about what a person reading HP books *after* this fic would think.)

Keep up the good work and don't forget you've got Science to do!
everetza chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Good update, nice characterization, advancement of plot and all that good stuff. I noticed this update just as I was planning on going to bed, so my review's a bit short, I know, but the important point - liked it, keep it up.
ShaThief chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
realy am loving this fic.

went through it in a day and loved every word.

I recomend it for whatever awords this site offers.
kinda evil chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Quirrell's words at the end of the chapter did not have as much impact earlier in the story as they do now. I could feel the emotion in the words, and whether it was because of the dialogue beforehand that gave it more meaning, or that it was in italics, is something to ponder. Lovely chapter.
Peanuckle chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
Deep.

that is all.
phoebe turner chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
great chapter!
Violet Shadows chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
"Harry sighed. 'I understand that I have a problem, and I know what I need to do to solve it, all right? I'm working on it.'"

Even before I saw these words, I was like 'ominous news.' That being said, calling Lilly shallow easily made this an epic chapter: I don't think I've ever heard anyone make that accusation before, nor heard it ring so truthfully.
Bel e Muir chapter 27 . 6/27/2010
I can easily say that was the best chapter in this story so far. I literally felt Harry's heartbreak and his resolution to make things right. It was all so... emotional. I hope there will be more chapter like this :)
faithaholic chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Chapter 5 made me laugh so hard I nearly choked, this chapter made me so sad I cried. Kudos.

I'm not sure I understand what events in this Harry's life have led him to feel this huge responsibility for the world as a whole though. There wasn't a lot written with him and his family, but from what was it seemed that the family dynamics were relatively normal. There didn't seem to me to be any gross roll reversals between the parents and the child. Before he was introduced to the wizarding world he wasn't forced to take responsibility for things that were outside his control (... that's actually quite a big assumption on my part. Correct me if I'm wrong). In cannon, this irrational assumption of responsibility can be accounted for by his role in his aunt and uncle's house as a doormat/punching bag/scapegoat. When a child is taught *all of their life* that when anything goes wrong it is their fault, and that they had the ability to prevent it from happening, it is natural for them to believe it. It is also natural for that child to believe that they can prevent all bad things from happening in the future. The Harry in this story is missing all of that background. I understand that he has this wealth of knowledge that the people around him do not, and I can see that causing a person to feel *some* responsibility towards those people to use it to help them, but he seems to have a desperate compulsion to fix every problem he comes across. Or, to put it much more simply, the events in his life to not adequately (in my opinion) explain his current behavior and emotional state.
Thekilleregglord chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
"Was it right to do that to anyone, even the second most evil person in the world?

No, said the wisdom of Harry's books, not if there's any other way, any other way at all."

- "Was it right...?"

Whoops, Harry is allowing himself to be influenced by ideas a good reductionist should reject, like objective morality.
BerserkSlash chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
And there is fundamental difference between this Harry and Tom.
Kodachi chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
The last two lines contain everything Harry James Potter-Verres needs to become the next great symbol of the Light.

Or the next Dark Lord. In the end, if it gets rid of places like Azkaban, I'm not sure it matters.
Nongarak chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Wow. What a chapter. What a test. That convo at the end was creepy. Crazy. Snape is whacked.
Psalmy chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Wow. Blew my socks off. Wow, wow, wow. Way to take the world and create such depth from what was already there.

Wow.
lillias chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
wow.
Chronos Tachyon chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Wow, I think this is my favorite chapter so far. I think I liked the occulomency stuff most - am I supposed to imagine the instructor with Walter Koenig's voice? - but the whole chapter had me on the edge of my seat far more than any previous one.

That said, one criticism. When Harry suggested his father was the one defending Snape from bullying... uh, wasn't that an inadvertent suggestion that Snape was gay?
Re lovewind chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Hermione genuinely likes Harry! And Draco seems to like Harry despite himself. And Neville likes Harry, and I think Quirrel likes Harry... you know, you can like someone AND want to use them at the same time... although I think Hermione genuinely would like Harry even if he wasn't useful to her in terms of teaching her stuff about the scientific method. They just seem to be hanging out at this point :)
cheekylildevil chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Congrats on the best chapter you've written so far, truly worthy of the reviews received. You demonstrated the perfect balance of humour and sadness, you made me understand where Harry was coming from, rather than just finding him annoying. I am so grateful.

Indi
Maskedgoddess chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Love.
Vampyromaniac chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
LOVE

I was impatient after Quirrell's tantalising speech ringing in Rita Skeeter's ears in her last moments, but this chapter was well worth the wait. Perhaps I am biased because I am a Severus-Lily shipper and Snape fangirl, but I was delighted and captivated from the moment of

"I once knew a boy who truly adored Quidditch," said Severus Snape. "He was an utter pillock. Just as you and I would expect, we two."

I could see where this was going, and the dramatic irony, right up to Harry learning the truth, was DELICIOUS. Also enjoyed the lampshading of the snitch being worth 150 points, which is a practically universal criticism of the canon. Perhaps you will also address the fact that Harry, in book 5, used the Floo network to seek Sirius instead of the magical mirror that Sirius gave him for that purpose, should your fanfic go anywhere in the direction of the novels. Lovely foreshadowing of innocent Sirius in Azkaban. Your empathetic Harry is much more likable than canon Harry, and I enjoy your critical eye to things that are unquestioned in canon, such as the goodness of Griffindors and whether even the most evil deserve Azkaban. I hope we will still see more of Snape despite his unwillingness to share any more of himself with Harry. Can't wait for this next chapter, keep up the great work!
Love wind chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
So...I fell in love with your story in the first ten or so chapters, wondered what the heck I was getting into in the next ten, and came into a comfortable relationship in the most recent. I find myself wondering where you will be taking me next. :P Either way, I am enjoying the ride and for the most part, your story. I do have one request; can you have someone that genuinely LIKES Harry Potter. You have allies and enemies, fear and awe and a few who are indulgently tolerant but so far, no true friends. Just a thought!
Jim Starluck chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Hmm. Ought to be very interesting when Harry eventually meets Sirius.

On a more general note, I love the way this story keeps making Harry reconsider his view of the world and himself. I think the one I'm most looking forward to being challenged is his opinion of Gryffindors.
TBooki chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Ahh! Roger Bacon wasn't even mentioned in this chapter! I had hoped Harry would've glanced at that diary/journal by now... although I suppose he has just outside of my limited sight.

Sooo. Someone got to Fred and George... the scene with their despair at not being able to remember the perfect prank was priceless, as was the fact that the Quibbler came up with its own betrothal. And of course there's the fact that Dumbledore's slipping an awful lot to his students these days! He must be bored...

The explanation of Occlumency and Legilimency was very intriguing. I love that the man teaching Harry is obliviated after each lesson and his reactions to Harry's complicated mind!

Also Harry/Hermione's take on Quidditch had me chuckling for a few moments. Their outrage was hilarious!

I simply adored the moment Snape appeared. Your description was great!

"And his threat estimate of the Head of House Slytherin shot up astronomically," Yay! Finally Harry's realizing what a threat he is! I simply hate it when Snape is portrayed as the Head that can simply be walked around and dealt with quickly... I'm thinking years as a spy might have given him a certain umph!

I like how he has Harry deal with a bullying situation... using Harry's own hero-complex against him! Although it's too bad they ended things on bad terms... Harry did push some serious buttons though (which sound disturbingly realistic).

Harry's contemplation on Azkaban was great... as was his acknowledgement that innocent witches/wizards are probably in there (Sirius anyone?)... And it looks like he's willing to fight for it! Woot!

The bullying scene, including Neville, and the hero-worship/hatred was intense! I'm glad Harry's enabling Neville to get some backbone... two birds with one stone there!

It's funny... you mentioned Agatha Christie earlier and then you write in a similar pattern to "Ten Little Indians" with the "and then there were six," etc, which said author used in one of her own novels! Very entertaining!

The fact that all of the students seem to think Harry has all-magical (is there a word for that? similar to omniscient, perhaps?) powers is very funny!

Harry's thoughts on his parents seemed very realistic to me... I'm sure more than just a tad bit disappointing.

Okay... I think I've gone through every single scene (if not exactly in order)... wow, never actually done that before, but it seems the easiest way in this case!

Great chapter! Very informative and an enjoyable read! TBooki
Syithe chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Thank you very much for another fine chapter. I've read it twice now, and only on the second time through (slower to appreciate it instead of fast to know what was happening) I found myself really enjoying Snape and his reaction to Harry's analysis of Lily. You choose great imagery, and also emphasized Snape's... emotional depth I suppose? I'm not sure that's the word I'm looking for. Also, I have to say I love this version of the Harry Potter universe. They all seem to fit their roles much better than in the books. Like an adult version of Harry Potter. Thanks for raising the fanfiction bar!
DarkHeart81 chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Good chapter. But once again I have to wonder at the pace of this fic. While entertaining I can't help feeling that this story is really dragging. Yes, we're seeing Harry learn about the magical world and his parents but everything that has happened so far has been during what? The first month of school? I'd think a lot of this could have been spread out throughout the year, advancing the timeline and having Harry grow as a person, instead of seeing pretty much a day by day account of what's going on. Surely there's more to the plot than Harry's trying to apply science to the magical world. I keep expecting Harry to use in intellect to figure out Quirrell is possessed and get on with what needs to be done to defeat the Dim Lord for good.
FuzzyBoots chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Interesting. I do feel like the chapters are more or less boiling down to a convenient "Harry takes on a task. Harry is confident he understand entirely. Harry fails miserably and learns a little." While it's not a bad plot to follow, it's starting to feel a bit formulaic. Hmm... eh, could just be he's in a part of his life where this failures happen to break down nicely into chapters.

And incidentally, I agree with what you said about Rita Skeeter's death. No one deserves to die just for being annoying. Arguably, some of her tactics range on the very legally questionable side, but I always got the impression that she did really believe in ferreting out the truth. She'd just come to the decision that believing the worst of people and saying as much in her articles was an excellent way to the truth. I had to applaud Voldemort a bit for the sheer mastermind nature of his actions but yeah, evil. And the scary thing is, I think that Harry could, at this point in his life, have found a way to rationalize it away. It's one of those problems with being very smart, very easy to fool yourself when you need to, convincing yourself that some uncomfortable action is indeed necessary, frequently "for the better good". Sometimes it is, and sometimes it's expedient. And, well, sometimes it's just convenient.
Xardoth chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
So, while I like the story, don't think I can continue reading until its finished since it just makes me slightly depressed about how Harry, the 11 year old kid, thinks about his life, and is somehow only around people who want to manipulate him for some reason or another. I'm sure most of the characters aren't against Harry per se.. but it still bothers me to finish a chapter like this without being able to finish the story. Since I read fanfics mostly due to escapism and to make myself feel good.. I can't read well written stories like this if they're not finished without brooding over them. Oh well. Hope you finish sometime relatively soon? Keep up the good stuff.
BobaFett.Jr chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Could Harry better protect himself by having Aunt Petunia give a muggle blood transfusion to someone he trusts? Anyone who gets a willingly-given transfusion of Aunt Petunia’s blood “would have the blood of Harry’s mother flowing threw their veins.”

Harry’s adoptive father, Verres-Evans, ought to be the first to receive such a blood transfusion so that Harry would still be able to live with him just incase something happened to Aunt Petunia. Harry’s interaction with has been strained lately, but he still respects the woman and she could be his first choice among potential blood recipients. Hermione Granger would make a decent recipient among children his own age once their friendship becomes less antagonistic, followed by Fred and George Weasley the Lords of Chaos.

Multiple, overlapping layers of protection created through transfusions of Aunt Petunia’s blood should strengthen the potency and area-coverage of Lily’s sacrifice.
ejhawman chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
So now you make the Lensman reference explicit. Humorous, in context.

Lesath Lestrange: You know, of course, that he directly violates canon. In HBP, Bellatrix proudly claims if she had sons, she would be honored to use them in the Dark Lord's cause. But we can let this slide.

The intervention with the bullies: now we're getting into DEEP lessons, things most eleven-year-olds wouldn't understand, their eyes would glaze over if you tried to explain it. Certainly mine would have.

But now Harry's light side has been strengthened. He has seen the need for Heroes in the world.

Will there be another quick update? I can barely keep up when you do that.
Wittgen chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Excellent as always. I especially love the end. That right there is why Harry is Harry friggin' Potter and Quirrell is Voldemort.

Also, Snape is a jerk. I appreciate how you portray him portraying himself though. Feels very true to the character.
WaxWings chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
I have to say that this was not my favorite chapter. There were certain plot developments that were both interesting and enjoyable; however the structure of the chapter as well as some of the stilted insertion of philosophical reflections obscured the best parts of this chapter.

I can see some reflection of Anakin Skywalker from Episodes II and III in this chapter. Upon seeing the injustice in the world and desiring that that someone would have the power to set in and set all injustice to right. Obviously this cannot go well.

With regards to Azkaban. Incarcerating a magic user would seem to be problematic. Even if the wand was confiscated, the talent still exists and by canon can still be accessed, if erradictly. A dangerous criminal would then pose a great danger. The death penalty exists in the Wizarding world, and seems to be considered worse that a prison sentance to Azkaban. Even if Azkaban is bad, if it is the only way short of death to safely jail a dangerous magic user, well, you have to do it.
Majin Hentai X chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
He's becoming the Doctor, that's all I can really say.
pazed chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Well that made me stop and think for a while after the chapter.

First about your writing compared with other stuff over 50 years reading, films, study and human interaction trying (occasionally, in the midst of life) to comprehend the human condition, the agonies of individuals/ historic figures/ philosophers/ self coming to terms with this stuff (or not). Yours is pretty good in an unsubtle way.

Then about that powerlessness to solve things - the balances, the swings and roundabouts, the one man's solution is another's problem - and how my finally thinking after 35 years of stubborn christian faith that even god can't really do it so he/she/whatever isn't really god either and that decision is still painful to me.

Will Harry ever accept, I wonder, that even the Eddorians with towering intellect, centuries/eons of observation and analysis and studying and good will, were in the end only in the same place all of us are, fighting a 'each generation, each individual' battle that seemingly never ends (after all the Lensman books solution was only fictional).

Not that I don't appreciate the improvements in our world with greater choices and freedoms even if these seem always to be paralleled with greater horrors and evils.

So onward to your exploration of Everyman through Harry Potter's tale - I look forward to the next. Thanks for writing ... p
NihilCredo chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
First of all, an IMPORTANT piece of reader feedback: whenever you make an edit to a previous chapter more substantial than fixing a typo, _tell us in the Author's Notes for the week_. I discovered by pure chance the new paragraph in chapter 20 (which I moderately enjoyed, unlike the previous edit), and since I'm *not* looking forward to rereading the entire fiction every week I've installed a handy Firefox extension to automatically check previous chapter for changes.

But, of course, almost none of your readers do that. Put up notices of edits.

As for this chapter:

- Any particular reason why Lesath was the child of Rastaban rather than Rodolphus, who was the canon husband of Bellatrix? If it was an accidental name switch, I'd change it back, if nothing to prevent the otherwise inevitable suggestions of Death Eater threesomes.

- You're forcing the other Ravenclaws into wallpaper pretty hard here. Harry's observation that being in the top 25% of Hogwarts isn't a big selection may have been spot-on, but I can't see painting them as a bunch of morons obsessed with gossip or sport as being right either; especially in light of Dumbledore's revelation about what it actually *means* to be a Ravenclaw. (On a similar note, I still think you should either make some OCs or expand the canon Ravenclaw characters. Harry spending all his time on Gryffindor/Slytherin games is starting to make his sorting look really awkward and pointless.)

- Bullies (but really, pretty much everyone) will try to get the last word before leaving the field of battle. I can't see the final three Gryffindors running away without firing off at least one final threat, insult, or accusation of being a secret Slytherin; if nothing to save face with themselves. It will hurt the pacing of the passage less than the current version hurts my suspension of disbelief.

- Snape's initial presentation of his teenage troubles was remarkably clumsy, all but telegraphing the fact that he was talking about himself; or at least, it still looked clumsy and obvious even after my best attempt at temporarily forgetting the canon knowledge. Suggestion for improvement: assuming he didn't necessarily intend to eventually reveal the truth to Harry from the start, the standard practice would be to add some false, but irrelevant details as misdirection (e.g. "this happened last year", or "a son of a friend of mine").

- Getting really nitpicky here, but would Harry capitalise Artificial Intelligence? (in 1991?)

I think that's all I can spot for today. Unabashed praise is implied and outsourced to the majority of the other reviewers.
emanon chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Or, maybe the girl forgave the bully because the bully grew up into a man, while the poor, plain, picked-on boy still actively associated with the more "evil" students in the school. In fact, those same students became the first Death Eaters. This was firmly pointed on in canon, in the hallway scene where Snape tried to apologize to Lily. Her lack of forgiveness had nothing to do with forgiveness of a racial slur, it was more about Snape consorting with people who would have no problem killing muggle-borns like Lily herself.

It could also be postulated that Snape was firmly located in the Friend Zone, and no force short of the extinction of all other men will change a woman's mind when that occurs. It's happened to me far more than I care to remember.

Also, I'm glad you pointed this out... Harry at eleven years old has only knowledge gained from books (sci-fi & fantasy no less) whereas Love is incredibly complex and follows no set rules. It's only learned from experience.
SMTRodent chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Absolutely excellent. You drew me in a while ago, when I read and enjoyed the story, and again now when I read the new chapters. I like your Snape very much - I am less keen on your Dumbledore, but c'est la vie. You've been accused of showcasing knowledge and not writing down to fans - please, keep *right on* showing off your knowledge, there's precious little out there for people who want things, just for once, *not* to be dumbed down. I like a story that makes me resort to Google or, even better, to going back through what's happened and seeing how the pieces do actually fit together.

I thought the reaction of Lestrange to being rescued was excellent, in the lesson it teaches Harry and in how shocking it is - as much as I enjoyed the 'most dangerous person in the room' lesson Harry learned.

What I like best is having no idea what is going to happen next, while still wanting to find out. Thanks for that.
Scarlet chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Caught up, finally! This last chapter:

Bester 3 God, I rather loved him by the end.

Obliviated twins? Possibly? One thing I do like about obliviation is that you only know you're s'posed to have done something if someone else tells you. Hell, maybe it wasn't them. Either way, it saves clogging up the story with explanation right now :)

Occlumency - interesting theories!

Lily, James and Snape - yep, it certainly had that ring about it. I'm not sure how clear it was at the time they were in school that all the heinous prejudice was a precursor to a plan involving genocide, and it kinda strikes me as sad that Lily didn't find Snape worth a redemption attempt. Maybe if she hadn't dropped him so completely, he might have changed. Maybe not - he did seem to be quite good at viewing her as separate from all others of similar background. I suspect all three of them sucked.

Previous chapter - Rita! Aargh! Unsympathetic character she might be, but oh, so chilling to have her killed so casually. This is definitely not a complaint - I think it fits, and I appreciate the further evidence of a certain pragmatic cruelty in Quirrellmort.

Looking at a couple of comments, it reminds me of something that's bothered me for a while - there's this disturbing trend for vengeance in fanfiction. I suppose it might be younger writers who're a bit black and white in their views - the Dursleys were abusive, let's kill them. Rita writes damaging articles - she deserves death. X character's sympathetic toward Y character's suffering, so decides to off or subject to permanent torture Z for causing it. Sort of vigilante justice - it's problematic, because it sidesteps due process, defence, and metes out punishment based on a rather emotive approach... and perpetuates the idea of dehumanising the villain into something with no redeeming nor sympathetic features, which neatly sidesteps the idea that humans are all flawed to some degree or other, no-one is completely evil, and the world is greyscale.

I've read something like the following far too many times:

"Petunia - you'll have nightmares for the rest of your life, or possibly cancer," said Harry (who probably had merciless emerald orbs and glowed with the force of his will), as the Dursleys quailed and quivered, possibly making some attempt at incoherent argument, "and you, Dudley, the permanent shits. Also, now that Professor Snape has adopted me and given me lots of birthday presents, I am emotionally complete and have no need of excess family, so Vernon, I've arranged it so that you're going to prison, and shall now insert a joke regarding your inevitable rape. Seeya!"

Anyway. Yours is a nicely complicated story :)
A Cornish Famine chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
This, is one of the better chapters you've submitted. Good work.
VN chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Hmm... So it possibly weren't the twins then, with Voldemort the only plausible alternative executor. After all, he's postulated to be more awesome that Harry (even if Evil).
Dureth chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Wow. That was... deep. And the part with Snape was very, very good.
Luiz4200 chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Why did Snape need to do it to Harry?
aFiZ chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Haven't reviewed you in a while...

Genius... still genius...

aFiZ
Entropic Specter chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Amazing. Heavy. And promising. Long too. Let's hope Harry is Friendly, no?

Oblivated Twins? Two bad, I guess those two won't be telling us how it was done. How very reasonable of them.

Multi-layer scheming? Funny thing, I read an article about game design talking about "yomi layer 3" just recently. And then there's this whole "Iocaine Powder" business... Good times.

In any case, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter, and eventual creation of a god. Horrifying Skeeter-Aftermath-Omakes too. Just don't post them without posting a new chapter too. Ok? So, as usual:

Great work, keep it up, and please update soon!
Arkh Cthuul chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Referencing both the lensmen Cycle and babylon 5 in one chapter (2 of my Favourites), kudos for that.

As for the chapter as a whole theres only one word:

Wow...
outlawpoet chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
A nice topic to give your setting some richness. Empathy is such a tricky topic to get right, you risk drowning in syrup or Badass Decay on one hand, and a little too cold will ruin character identification and drown you in grey.

I thought you walked the line pretty well here. Although your capacity to write a scene full of heart and hope that is predicated almost entirely on a really mean spirited deconstruction of canon is distracting, to say the least. I've begun reading your chapters twice, once sincerely, and the second time to appreciate all the references and jokes and Take That monologues.

Will we ever find out who the Occlumency teacher really is? Or are you trying to avoid collecting OCs?

(Also, I know you love the Gringotts thing, but isn't the better hypothesis that Griphook was just simplifying for the benefit of the kid asking the questions? It would be easy for Gringotts to adjust their fee in response to arbitrage to defend the value of their currency.)
V2Blast chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Amazing chapter. Simply brilliant. The chapters before now have been just sort of a casual enjoyment with no real emotional development, but this is the one where it really hits Harry and shakes his foundation. This could have been a real discussion between Harry and Snape in Rowling's novels, and it would not have been out of place (well, maybe a bit because of its seriousness and thoughtful nature).
badkidoh chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Yet another great chapter so I'm looking forward to your next update.
Burkean chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Hot damn! You sure know how to write them. The quality of both plot and execution improves drastically as this story progresses.

I would appreciate some form of archiving of the author's notes as they are usually enriching.
SpaceHead3 chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Awesome chapter like always.
farwalker chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Wow!

That whole discussion was really deep.

And mind bending.

Harry is still having a hard time understanding real people, as opposed to those in books. but he really means well and wants to make the world a better place.

I wonder what will happen when he hears about Sirius?
Guile chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
And now we see the downside of Harry pretending to be all-powerful.

I was a bit surprised to see that the 'revelation' about his parents didn't really phase him. I know I wasn't nearly that mature at 11, and I was one of those CTY kids. Still, it was nice to see Harry's reaction to Azkaban. Sometimes, we all want to be God. I bet Harry would make a better one than most.
angelvan105 chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
this is MOSTEST INTERESTING, CREATIVITY AND BESTEST STORY I EVER READ! but sometime this story can be strange mystery and thier can be sometime confusing to me sometime! also i don't know who smarter! Hermione since it said she read more book and gotten better grade than harry or is it Harry since he speak so logic and he quite master mind too! will keep it up! i can wait for next chapter come for sure!
Mr Stereo1 chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
DAMN, that was an interesting OC. Your take on Snape is especially good, petty enough to be flawed, victimised enough it's not inherent, a perfect mix.

Great update,

Mr Stereo1
witowsmp chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
The only problem with Snape's description of events was that he had been hanging out with Death Eater wanna-be's and had called several other muggle-borns mudblood. It seemed to me that that incident was the last straw for Lily - not the first offense. I think she'd been contemplating breaking off her friendship with him for some time. In other words, Snape didn't describe the situation accurately, so there was no way to come to a different conclusion than Harry's, no matter who the involved people were. Their identities were irrelevant. If the only offense Snape had given was that one incident, then Lily would've been shallow. However, even in one occasion, using that racial slur is very offensive and unforgetable. Remember that it is the equivelant of the 'N' word, whose use can get you killed in certain areas.
AngelForm chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Very well presented alternate character interpretation.

After all, for some the dark Lord is the saviour of a dieing race.
mupetersas.upenn.edu chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
There goes any hope of Snape and Harry getting along. Pity, since Severus is the closest thing to a scientist that exists at Hogwarts.

But I can't help but feel that Severus, once again, is being unfair with his questions. Despite how smart Harry is, he's still an eleven year old boy, who is not nearly as mature emotionally as he is intellect-wise. Hell, if pressed for details on Hermione, Harry would admit to thinking her, on some irrational level, icky. So asking him about anything relating to love probably wasn't a good idea.

Though boo to Harry who forgot lesson one of Transfiguration: if you don't know what you're getting into, don't guess or bluff.
KGB chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Wow, that was totally awesome... I just can't put it into words.

In the beginning of the chapter Snape and Harry seemed to connect and in the end Harry pretty much took away any reason for Snape to fight Voldemort.

Well Harry isn't God yet, so he's doomed to make some mistakes. :p
demone celestiale chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Holy Crap! I found this story today and I read it all in one sitting, It is AMAZING. I swear to god you need to finish it, to many good stories have been abandoned, My only concern is that its already like 100000 words and were only part way through his first year. at this rate it will probably end up something like 900000 words till he graduates. Good Luck!
Loonynamelass chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
A beautiful chapter. I loved the conversation between Harry and Snape; it never could happen in the books, as the death and discovery just didn't coincide in a way to allow that.

The end of the chapter was also fantastic. Thank you for the chapter!
Vah4 chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Readers for the most part are aware that Rita Skeeter's actions/words in print helped support Voldemort's rise to power. Her actions supported the death of a fair number of characters. As well as the potential maiming of Hermione, by way of hate mail.

In that sense she deserves death.

The writing continues to be excellent.
Raven3182 chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Wow. Another rather intense chapter. I wasn't expecting a confrontation with Snape to take place so soon in the story. Well done.

I enjoyed the little scene with Harry and Hermione and how she was offended at the thought that Harry might try to protect her delicate little female self. Her reaction was priceless. Please write more scenes with Hermione; one per chapter would be excellent.

Anyways, well done as always. I can't wait for more. Thanks for writing!
Lucy chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Question: does your criticism of Azkaban also apply to the death penalty in our world? Would being consigned to Azkaban count as a "worse than death" scenario to you?
voider chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
I would not really say that Lily was shallow.

We can't say with that much trust that Lily got together with James Potter just because of his good looks, money and charms and not with Severus Snape due to his his looks and and lack of money.

Snape became a DE and served Voldemort willingly. I am more than certain that during his service, Snape did many, many terrible things.

It could very well be that Lily knew or felt the path Snape was going to choose. Maybe... she knew that, and decided to distance herself for that reason.

And while Snape said JP was a bully, we don't know if there weren't other reasons for their actions beyond Snape being in the snake house and loving Lily. And I rather doubt that JP was just the big bad bully and Snape, just the meek victim.

We know for a fact that Snape was highly skilled in the dark arts and DADA, so he must have been more than able to fight.

Sure, neither James nor Lily were perfect, but at the same time, I doubt that Snape was a better person than they were.
john l chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
'"Erm, he wasn't actually prejudiced against Muggleborns, was he?" said Harry. "I mean, he was wooing one."

Severus nodded silently.'

You DO realize that in general the "i have a black friend so i'm not racist" argument is one of the weakest ones there is? Because if harry was aware of that his mind wouldn't have skipped immediately to "he probably wasn't actually prejudiced against this group because he was crushing on a member of it." It's TOTALLY possible to have black friends and still be racist. The human mind is excellent at making an exception for JUST THAT ONE PERSON who isn't like the rest...
TenshiReike chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
very good and deep chapter. You've gotten better in your writing too, it's noticeable.
Alex Mennen chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
If I had been in Harry's situation, the repetition of his Occlumacy instructor's behavior would have surprised me greatly. The instructor almost certainly does not experience the exact same things every day. If he had not gotten enough sleep the night before one of the trials, received an unrelated phone call that morning, read a newspaper article that morning that was different from one he had read before the previous lesson, or any other minor difference in preparation, his behavior should have been different than it was during the previous trial. In fact, even disregarding differences in the instructor's preparation, if Harry was thinking something different, which he was, the results should have been different because the instructor would have gotten a different reading from Harry's mind.
Sethonan chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
I'd like to commend the writer in fabricating a chapter without the "gimmick" of the series, or at least reduced to a minimum; that is far more compelling and humane than anything the original author could ever produce.

I feel the original relationship between Potter and Snape was managed wrong even tough Severus character is very well developed during the series.

Kudos and keep up the good work, if when you finish this you oculd release it as an e-book, I think most of us would greatly appreciate it.
Guest chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Okay, so Lily was shallow, but you can't tell me that Snape wasn't at least equally as shallow. Why was he pursuing the beautiful, shallow girl all this time, refusing to see her personality clearly, instead of a less shallow, but less beautiful girl?
Shodatl chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
I'm starting to enjoy this more than i thought was possible.

See, harry is hard reality, he cant accept implications of actions because he wants to control it all.

I'm kinda un-reality... i feel if you exist you exist and if you die you die.

Everything could be controlled but in the end there isnt much of a point.

So i'm finding it hard to follow harry's line of thought.

I would actually despise him in life... just because hes so stupid.

But whatever... maybe the family should have checked him for autism... because he seems to be showing quite a few signs.
Ellyanah chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
In a chapter talking about levels, I guess it was simply appropriate for you to reveal a new one.

Perhaps I should have had faith that you wouldn't portray Snape like a one dimensional vilain. As it is, I'm quite relieved.

Now I get to enjoy this awesome story that much more.
Lucy chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
I like the way Harry is portrayed in this chapter. You've done a lot of rewriting of the canon character, but the core of THAT one was the "hero complex" (wanting to fix all the injustices of the world), and I'm glad you kept that. Obviously you've done a lot of broadening of the scope of what counts as injustice, and made Harry's path to fixing it much longer and more twisty, which are all (awesome) side effects of making Harry several orders more intelligent :) But you kept the core.
Arkeus chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
heh, so Harry believes Snape was objective on word, does he? No question on whether Snape himself was a bully too or if, just maybe, Lily had tried for years to forgive things after things of Snape.

Oh well.

A bit annoyed by Snape being a successful legilimens too, given he had trouble looking in pretty much everyone in Canon.
firedraygon chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
I'm just so amazed with this story. Each chapter brings something new and exciting, and it makes us readers think to try and predict what'll happen next, but of course we'll be wrong, haha. Fantastic work. I love how Snape baits Harry into being the Good Guy and how Neville summons Harry like Beetlejuice (I'm not spelling that right, I know). I'm looking forward to how Harry's going to rid the world of Azkaban! Please write more soon!

~fd97
thewanderingmonster chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
The wait for this chapter was. So. Worth. It. *Loved* the telepath being named Bester (even if I don't particularly care for the series he came from) and I giggled way more than is acceptable at the description of Harry's mind running out of swap space :D
anon chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Beautiful. The best chapter in a long time. I have to say the "almost died" was too melodramatic, but other than that, very good.
The French Dark Lord chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Nice
skylerbird chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
(Blinks). Wow. That chapter pretty much blew me away.

Snape struck me as very Quirrel-like in personality here.
Dragon Man 180 chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
So Harry's goal is now to destroy Azakaban... interesting. I can't wait to see how that works, but I suggest her looks into some DnD Daylight spells to help drive off Dementors, then hits them with memories of stuff like Barney and Teletubbies to give them indigestion.
Crescent Beam Shower chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Poor Snape :/ Great chapter though. :)
wsbenge chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
Outstanding rendition of the classic Snape, Potter, Evans issue.

A shallow Evans. Beautifully done.

Also, a great interaction with Snape about Harry's powers of deduction. Almost like the answer to the question one wished they hadn't asked.
Tom Reagan chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
An incredible chapter, just staggeringly good on so many levels, definitely worth the wait. I think the move from comedy to a more serious tone is a good one, if saddening slightly. I'm loving the intrigue, and some of that dialogue with Snape was just superb. I especially liked the last section - actually quite moving and thought provoking, and you really made me sit back and go 'wow' with the whole 'there's definitely someone in Azkaban who's innocent'. Absolutely chilling.

Only little bit of crit I can think of is that it could have benefitted from a bit of a proof read - personally I'd be willing to wait a bit longer to have some of the small errors that detract from the reader's immersion ironed out. Hell, I'd be willing to do it for you.

So yes, all in all a brilliant chapter, you've out done yourself!
Arysthae chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
This chapter was one of the best of them all in my point of view though I loved all of them. I think that he is realising...well everything. I don't know how to explain it but this chapter just...was the best. I know it isn't one of the most deep or... clever message you must have gotten but I mean every word.
The-Living-Shadow chapter 27 . 6/26/2010
I love what Harry said about Lilly, he's right when you think about it...