|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality|
| sunset oasis chapter 31 . 9/3/2016
Blaise certainly adds to the mix and made things more interesting here ...
| Guest chapter 31 . 7/12/2016
Although it was pretty obvious that Hermione would win, as was the strategy she would use to win, how she came up with that strategy was a good reveal, while also giving Hermione good characterization.
Not sure why a fair amount of people are calling her a Mary Sue. She has a fair amount of character flaws that actually have plot relevance. She may well be the fastest reader and learner, but she lacks the desire to question, something Harry has and Draco was able to learn. She enjoys helping others, but we saw previously that her responsibility has limits. She seems like the one truly good character because her too-simple moral code stops her even when it would give a net benefit to she has not won everything or triumphed over every other character, she has done nothing truly innovative, as Draco and Harry has. This is one of her main goals, and so far, she has failed.
| The Anguished One chapter 31 . 6/14/2016
Ah, so that's how she won. Draco and Harry planned everything themselves, but Hermione had her entire army to come up with strategies. Not bad at all.
| Happy chapter 31 . 5/26/2016
| Jiezhiwuqi chapter 31 . 2/16/2016
Hermione is really a good girl, harry and Draco, each have each problem, but it also make them become a genius.—Uh，If RON, and hermione could still fall in love?
| Montara chapter 31 . 1/22/2016
They'll have traitors...wow, this is so interesting.
| teabrows chapter 31 . 12/9/2015
Okay.. Hahaha... How could I forget the concept of teamwork?
| WatchingTheWatchman chapter 31 . 12/7/2015
Hermione is awesome. I know I've said that before, but she really is. Even though this was a shorter chapter, I love the character development of the three main characters.
| ShadowLDrago chapter 31 . 10/17/2015
Clever, very very clever indeed.
| PA chapter 31 . 5/20/2015
I'm left wondering what exactly she was given to help now ... onwards.
| Riniko22 chapter 31 . 2/20/2015
I was thinking from the beginning of their battle that the best tactic would be to fake being hit and attack from the rear after the others exhaust themselves, and that was what Hermione did to them. She totally faked them out with the other two doing all the planning.
| 00 Non C. Anon 00 chapter 31 . 2/3/2015
I have a hard time imagining Hermione thinking of using the rest of the members of her army, given how you've written her so far in the story.
| GingerHannah chapter 31 . 1/3/2015
Finally got some internet after a few days. I was excited to be able to read the next chapter!
| philharmony chapter 31 . 12/31/2014
For the first time in this entire work, I guessed what would happen later and got it right. Go me!
| thepkrmgc chapter 31 . 8/2/2014
so THATS what ron has been up too, yay for the power of group thinking and teamwork!
| Bookworm Guy chapter 31 . 7/17/2014
Let me guess... You got inspiration from Enders Game for this chapter :) Btw, have you read the sequels? Ender's Shadow, which shows the life story of Bean, is a great read.
| dark.cyberian.knight chapter 31 . 5/25/2014
I'm tremendously enjoying this series. I find the informational bits interesting and the humor delightful.
The imbalance of air superiority should have been an obvious priority to Harry. I think using Mr. Goyle as a plot device in that way was effective.
I have a few small problems with the battle. Use of a reflective shield spell and a drill spell to penetrate it. There should have been a white list of spells along with approved usage like no dropping heavy rocks to break shields. No shields that force stalemates because sufficient for to circumvent them might be lethal. Wide spread use of the reflective shield would have serious strategic impact creating a highly effective defense perimeter that could be staged providing offense and defense only trumped by a special spell.
I expect Harry with his apparent understanding of the tactic, intent to kill, and cold logic would have been thorough enough to instruct his troops to recast the sleep spell on each downed person after fire ceased. I may be projecting or could still have been that way it would just mean Draco's troops were of terrible aim or Hermione was exceedingly lucky in having 8 troops remain considering the numerical troops constraints.
I'm probably just playing favorites.
| gr89n chapter 31 . 1/22/2014
So exactly how did Mary Sue wake up the "dead" players? It was immediately obvious that she was going to win somehow - perhaps by just letting the other two armies obliterate each other and move in for the coup de grace with herself and a couple of other survivors.
Instead they're still alive because magic and friendship.
Listening to ideas from her soldiers? Harry did that too, he even gave them explicit orders to take initiative.
| Grizzmon chapter 31 . 1/13/2014
Oh I see... clever.
| z1dytd12901z7018273f18y2f31238 chapter 31 . 11/19/2013
Haha, the aftermath of last chapter (this chapter) was sure funny. There's good use of tone and sentence structure, producing a calming view on this chapter. I could tell the characters were more relaxed after the battle.
I thought Hermione's secret tactic (having other people in her army to come up with ideas) is very smart, when I read last chapter, I knew there was something going on, but amongst the list of theories I came up with mentally, I didn't even think of this!
| Alissie chapter 31 . 7/1/2013
So I'm still trying to figure out what's going on with Mandy. My gut is telling me that she and Hermione are a thing, from that last comment and a bit back during the Quidditch scene. Could be wrong, but that's what I'm feeling. XD
| RussianDestruction chapter 31 . 4/27/2013
Man, I did not see that coming with Miss Smiley Face. Bril work!
| Death2Ignorance chapter 31 . 1/27/2013
this is the first time I've been genuinely disappointed with the story. i didn't much care for the fact that hermione was completely outclassing harry in pretty much every way imaginable considering harry's work ethic is on par with hermione, having him lose the reading contest was fair enough with all the other things harry had going on. but the following month he had relatively little, so if we are to take the first week as an indication of each of their potential (and that is all we as a reader have to go off of) then really a slight edge to harry needs to be given in the work ethic department. but for some reason harry not only doesn't do as well as hermione, but you put harry as just above average, hardly noteworthy really. given his knowledge and ethic is in excess of hermione and yet hermione (who relies on the same two traits) does better just doesn't make sense. however disregarding the fact that it doesn't make sense, i can still accept it as it didn't bother me too much. what did bug me was the outcome of this 'war'. first of all it was made far, far too obvious that hermione was going to win, it wasn't even a question. and because it wasn't a question it took out pretty much all the suspense in this scene. further more as soon as neville's possum routine occurred it once again became obvious as to how she was going to win it as well. so essentially what we see with regards to hermione is that 1 despite the fact that you *say* harry is the smart one, the evidence points to hermione being smarter. 2 despite the fact that reason should make us arrive at the conclusion that harry has a better work ethic, hermione apparently works harder. 3 despite the fact that draco malfoy is in slytherin, where cunning is the main requirement, hermione outclasses him in this regards. 4 despite the fact that hermione could not bring herself to fire a spell at one of her classmates, she becomes vindictive enough to not only beat both harry and draco, but also does so with the desire to gloat, and a haughty air of superiority about her. smarter, better, stronger, wiser, most cunning... you've made hermione the main character in one of those poorly balanced fanfics that never bring any challenges to their main character because they are always overpowered relative to the challenges they face. never thought i'd actually be saying that about a secondary character but ya thats what it seems like at the moment. don't get me wrong though, i still love this fic, its made me laugh so hard that at certain points i was sure i was going to through up from my convulsions! keep up the great work just, hopefully it gets a bit more balanced later on
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 31 . 1/4/2013
Yep. Hermione scares me. Draco had that one line about people who crush you, but they're just so nice about it you can't really hate them. Harry acts like that. Hermione is that person. *meep*
Also, forgot this last chapter: You threw in Warhammer 40K and Lovecraftian references, and those were just the ones I got. Cool.
| Susan M. M chapter 31 . 12/20/2012
Ye gods, Hermione re-invented the general staff. Harry's read Heinlein: he should have reread SIXTH COLUMN.
| StrangeoneXD chapter 31 . 12/19/2012
Hehe, at least this explains things
| W.Kathy chapter 31 . 10/31/2012
Oh, so Granger won because she got help from her 'army'. That makes sense. And hopefully if she won in the end, she will share the reward of Quirrell's Christmas wish with those who help her to won, though I seriously doubt so. We'll see, I guess, when I continue reading the rest of the fic.
| voodooqueen126 chapter 31 . 8/2/2012
Have you heard of John Monash? They say he treated warfare as an engineering problem.
This chapter is interesting, in that it shows how pride prevents people from listening to the good ideas of other. Granger, who is humble like most women, is better able to listen.
| Satirica chapter 31 . 7/17/2012
It IS sort of sad that Harry's so solitary, and that he probably assumes everyone who is not an eleven-year-old supergenius is incapable of productivity.
| Cassie chapter 31 . 6/18/2012
Having read Chapter 31, I still remain unconvinced.
| scorpioneldar chapter 31 . 2/29/2012
aah the wonderful world of advisors and delegation
| Robbie the Phoenix chapter 31 . 2/19/2012
Masterfully done. I thought Hermione just beat them because she was smart, but reality was so much better. Of the three generals, it makes a lot of sense that Hermione would be the only one to think of actually getting advice from her subordinates.
Also, I know they're only eleven, and so I shouldn't even be thinking about this sort of thing (especially given Hermione going out on that date with Harry), but I can't help but notice a bit of a pattern emerging regarding Hermione and Mandy...
I'm probably reading into things too much. My mind tends to think that way, even with me constantly reminding myself that they *are* only eleven.
| Jelbertie chapter 31 . 12/18/2011
God, I hate Hermione.
| Mantis FA chapter 31 . 12/16/2011
This one suggests an answer to one of those idly amusing questions science fiction fans occasionally debate: who would win a military confrontation between two equal forces led, respectively, by Miles Naismith Vorkosigan and Honor Stephanie Harrington? Harry's channelling Miles here at least as much as Ender (though he couldn't have read too many of Miles' adventures, as most weren't in print yet in 1991). Hermione did exactly what Honor does best: get all of her officers thinking to the very best of their ability, and synthesize all their ideas into a coherent whole.
| Melast chapter 31 . 12/6/2011
Does Harry ever catch a break? It's not so much that he lost to her but that 'Mione so blatantly looks down on him and writes him off like he never stood a chance. You made it look like he just closed his eyes and jumped into the battle (signs of bashing).
| AR chapter 31 . 9/21/2011
Oh that was just beautiful!
I honestly did not see that coming...even though I expected her to win like most readers.
But goes to show doesn't it...
| how chapter 31 . 9/15/2011
how does this piece of garbage manage to get worse with each chapter. it's unreal.
| Megan McAlistair chapter 31 . 9/2/2011
two minds, one thought
different backgrounds, now both scientists
"Draco had read it and he still hadn't seen it -"
Hermione had read and memorized it
because that's what it said on the back of her math book
"(They'd brought back all the other chairs after Malfoy had left, of course.)"
she is so... I don't want to say evil, but cunning and... I lack the words in English, genial, gerissen, absolut hinterhältig
"And Colonel Zabini?"
great, as if my harbor wasn't full enough
"mixture of positive and negative incentives"
oh Quirrel, you sneaky little bastard
| Julia Wise chapter 31 . 7/24/2011
I decided to read this story because every time a new chapter came out, my husband was completely useless for anything until he had read it. We solved this problem by making it our bedtime reading aloud, which gives us both someone to speculate with and hasn't given us nightmares yet.
Thanks for an enjoyable story!
| Isa Knightwalker chapter 31 . 7/17/2011
Interesting, lovely to see how it worked out!
| Blinded in a bolthole chapter 31 . 4/9/2011
Did Granger read Sun Tzu or something? Because their strategy is key to endless victory-combo. They know themselves and know their enemies.
| ARMH chapter 31 . 2/23/2011
Ugh Zabini. I don't remember ever hearing if Harry found out about her assistance.
| w chapter 31 . 2/8/2011
Nice; Who would try to come up with all the ideas just by themselves?"
"Harry," said Hermione, at exactly the same time Zabini said, "Malfoy."
| Markus Ramikin chapter 31 . 2/3/2011
Draco said out loud, "I notice that I am confused."
Only in a story like this one can this sentence be as awesome as you've managed to make it.
| Indigo Ziona chapter 31 . 10/28/2010
'It was kind of sad, actually. Harry had grown up very, very alone. It wasn't that he went around thinking in words that only geniuses had a right to exist. It just wouldn't occur to him that anyone in Hermione's army besides Hermione could have any good ideas.'
It is the curse of the only child. I still catch myself thinking of things that would be way more easy if only I'd thought to include at least one other person.
| Kutta chapter 31 . 10/11/2010
| LunaSlashSea chapter 31 . 10/8/2010
| twistyguru chapter 31 . 9/7/2010
Worse than disgusting.
Back to go dry heave.
All of the 'Sunshine Army' should be poisoned, or killed in their beds.
| Crazy Iemon chapter 31 . 8/28/2010
Hehe, I love Ender's Game :)
| asdf chapter 31 . 8/16/2010
Wait, so, is the secret "weapon" of the Sunshine Regiment in this case Ron Weasley? Because he's good at chess and strategy?
Anyways this fanfiction makes me laugh. ]
| Morbious20 chapter 31 . 8/12/2010
short but amusing
| James Birdsong chapter 31 . 7/28/2010
| Judah chapter 31 . 7/28/2010
This is a ch 32 review, as I've taken time to think about it more.
You gave a bunch of clues to the nature of events, and what finally changed my opinion of what will happen is the phrase 'quadruple agent.' You need four sides for that, and therefore I think Zabini is on 'his own side.'
I think he'll mention he can draw it, just for fun, then win for sunshine. Why? Because Hermione promised to give the wish to him if he did.
| ejhawman chapter 31 . 7/27/2010
Too short. Breaking up long chapters is sometimes necessary, but in this case it wasn't. If you're going to break up a chapter, the smaller part should at least be large enough to make a full chapter in its own right. Say, 2000 words.
Draco was at least right, Hermione hadn't made her winning strategy herself. Harry should find out soon enough, and they will both be kicking themselves.
| stiffo90gmail.com chapter 31 . 7/25/2010
Love your fic, must say you have great characterization, keep up the good work :)
Thought you'd be interested in this new article on time travel, concerning quantum mechanics:
| Vampyromaniac chapter 31 . 7/25/2010
Please reveal what there was left to 'get' in the 2nd aftermath with Snape and Miss Cornfoot!
| Misanthrope1013 chapter 31 . 7/24/2010
It has been nearly two weeks, I'm starting to feel symptoms of HPMOR withdrawal! When do we get another chapter? Every time I sit down at my computer now I go straight to the email with my breath held, hoping for an update from FanFic.
By the way, while splitting up the chapters doesn't really bother me, if the 2nd chapter is just a series of "Aftermaths" then I don't feel it makes a whole lot of sense to separate them. That being said, thank you for writing, thank you for the battle room chapter, and get cracking on more!
| WickedBlue chapter 31 . 7/24/2010
What an incredible, brilliant fic. I love it!
| Shadowscast chapter 31 . 7/23/2010
I just (over the past few days) read all 31 currently-existing chapters of this story. As a fan of both Harry Potter and science, I've been enjoying it immensely! Indeed, I've been enjoying it to the detriment of my housework. (Thankfully now that I'm all caught up, I can wash the dishes.)
I know this is awfully forward of me, since I just got here, but I have a request to make of the author: would you be willing to make available somewhere the Author Notes for past chapters? Having come to the party late, I'm concerned I may have missed something important. For instance, Harry's genetic theory of magic is pretty central to the plot, and I'm troubled by how it doesn't seem to account for the fact that a wizard/wizard pairing sometimes results in a squib (or indeed the fact that according to JKR, a wizard/muggle pairing almost always results in a wizard). So I'm wondering whether you've redefined the HP universe a bit there, or what - and it seems like the sort of thing you might have addressed in a vanished Author's Note.
I've skimmed the reviews of the most recent chapter a bit, and considering the complaints some readers are making I want to express my support for the "Hermione wins the first battle" plot. I thought it was very well-executed, playing nicely to previously-established strengths and weaknesses of the characters. The fact that Harry and Draco both sat alone in their great big offices, thinking them excessively large, while Hermione brought her whole army in and *brainstormed* with them, was perfectly sufficient to highlight what was going on. The possum tactic was quite brilliant (though of course it can only work once!) and I like that Neville also independently came up with it.
As for complaints that Hermione is winning even though Harry's supposed to be the hero - having read some other stories in my life, I hereby predict that Harry will suffer some losses in the middle of the story, which will cause him to learn and grow, and finally win in the end. Heh.
I'm really curious where this story is going, generally speaking! What is Voldemort playing at? Who sent Harry the invisibility cloak, if it wasn't Dumbledore? Where is Peter Pettigrew, if he wasn't with the Weasleys? Did Bill really come from the future to try to save them from Peter's canonical actions, and if so is his older self still stuck pretending to be his younger self somewhere off-camera? For that matter, is this entire universe a post-canon, post-time-travel alternate timeline?
I originally came in thinking that "Petunia married somebody else" was the first change from canon and that all the others were meant to follow from it, but it seems now that that's not the case. So I'm curious exactly how many distinct, independent changes there were.
Honestly, even if everything doesn't totally hold together in the end, I'll still have had so much fun reading this story that I'll count it as one of my favourites!
| fontgoddess chapter 31 . 7/22/2010
Every week this story isn't updated is a week in which the internet is far less interesting than it *could* be.
| Kwan Li chapter 31 . 7/22/2010
I'm not going to lie. Half the time I read this story, 76% of the things go straight over my head. But I'll be damned if I don't storm this thing like a trooper. I absolutely love this story and hope to see an update soon.
| DoubleC chapter 31 . 7/21/2010
I dislike Hermione's mean streak and penchant for gloating, as well her rampant pushing herself forward, but she didn't do much of that here, and Harry's defeat was sweet and so very just here. Still, I hope she doesn't get the Quirrell wish. I wonder what's Harry's next move. Some hilarious bits in this chapter. The armies actually sound like lots of fun, even if the kids seem to take them way too seriously.
| Snag1 chapter 31 . 7/19/2010
Odeargods. Hermione and happy war victory chants. I am the dead from laughter.
| Evan Jameson chapter 31 . 7/19/2010
I am confused. I find this, confusingly, to be a good thing. The science, I get, for the most part, because of my education and further reading on most of the topics Harry knows. The characters... confuse me. I wasn't sure at first if it was good or bad, this confusion, but I've decided that it intrigues me, making it good. That said, I wait with bated breath for the next update.
| 109 chapter 31 . 7/19/2010
Oh man. I didn't even realize that she hadn't meant it when she said "it wouldn't be nice" back in chapter 29. If I'd read it closely, I'd've noticed, but nooooo I just glanced right over it
| Honor of Defiance chapter 31 . 7/18/2010
This is absolutely brilliant! I haven't logged on in ages, but a friend of mine recommended I get on and look up this story... and it is worth every second that I spent reading it! Definitely thinking outside the box, brilliantly innovative, well-written, and otherwise just fantastic! I especially like what you've done with Quirrell as a character - he seems much more developed (and there are some things I suspect about your version of him, but I can hardly know for sure yet, can I? Spoilers are bad things to know...). I look forward to reading more from you, so please continue writing!
| irezel chapter 31 . 7/18/2010
so...what did they have? how did they win...i didn't really catch it...:\ crazy. :D can't wait for more!
| random person chapter 31 . 7/18/2010
WHY AREN'T YOU UPDATING THO
| jdboss1 chapter 31 . 7/18/2010
old dam I forgot to leave a review so many tabs open
I was really hoping for another update this weekend you just being spoiling us so far no other author has updated this much quality so quickly
Just reading your statement on your profile I didn't mind but the second I went and had a look at the fan art and was shocked to read how many people thought the stupidest person in the world Ron Weasley even making physical contact or more To the wonderful Hermione made me shocked that they were still in a deluded people out there Believe him that that relationship could even be dreamt up in the worst possible nightmare ever specially actually printing it on paper and then getting it published
He some quotes from some Of my best Stories I have read I just want everybody to understand how disgusting the MO-Ron even making skin contact is I can't even imagine without feeling sick anything more happening
"You gonna have him make you cry while he's f-ing you, does being hurt and insulted every time he opens that f-ing hole in his face turn you on?"
I am as equally unable to tolerate Ron/Hermione pairings. Ron had done nothing but abuse, belittle and/or hurt Hermione in some way all seven years because of her intelligence, hardworking and caring nature while hypocritically USING that same intelligence, hardworking and caring nature to help him with his homework or his own wants/needs. He did nothing but USE and ABUSE her and even in the last book he was still just as immature and uncaring of her feelings and well-being as he was in the first. He always put himself first in direct contrast to the very definition of love - where you put the happiness and well-being of the one you love before your own. Granted, Hermione was far from perfect but she NEVER intentionally tried to hurt anybody unlike Ron's own vicious verbal assaults against her where he knew and intended for it to hurt her. I reiterate, Ron was abusive and/or dismissive of Hermione and her feelings in EVERY book. So, why in the hell would this intelligent young woman suddenly be so stupid as to even date much less marry such an arse?
I can only guess that it was JKR trying to insert a little realism in that Hermione's lonely childhood because of her intelligent and assertive nature combined with 7 years of Ron's put-downs and abuse had destroyed her own self-esteem so badly that she figured that Ron was the best she could hope for. She had been reduced to absolutely zero self-respect and thus gave herself over fully to her abuser. Either that or it was the old good-girl goes for bad-boy routine in which case the stupid btch gets everything she deserves. Oh yes, he abuses me all the time so he MUST be a truly great male specimen! Let's make babies! That is one aspect of some women that I'll never be able to understand.
Whichever it is, the whole situation is utterly ridiculous for a series of books directed at children and teens. It tells them that shallow and abusive relationships are perfectly normal and a sound basis for lifetime relationships. If these pairings are JKR's idea of an ideal fantasy romance then I must truly pity her real-life experiences such that these disgustingly shallow and abuse ridden pairings are the best she can imagine. The epilogue of Book 7 proved that the ENTIRE story of Harry Potter was a tragedy to the bitter end and remained tragic for the rest of their lives
I'm a huge fan of Hermione (and, to a lesser extent, Emma by transference) - at least until her lobotomy and name change around book 5 or 6 (maybe that curse didn't heal so well after all?) I don't think that any of the Harry Potter characters are good enough for her, but Harry's by far the closest. I do, however, dislike how JKR ruined their relationship in the later books, so I mostly ignore everything after Goblet of Fire.
PS I didn't guess Hermione was asking for helpHe never even once occurred to me she could or would I was under the Illusion that she was trying to make yourself better not ask for help but then I shouldn't complain as long as she won Who cares how she did it
| Inwitari Turelie chapter 31 . 7/18/2010
Wow, just wow. This is amazing. I absolutely love it. After getting linked to this fic I had to read the whole thing. While I and many of my friend's may have questioned the fallacies of Harry Potter in the past, none of us would have the ability to come up with something like this. Your knowledge of scientific theories and techniques has made this an fic that actually rationally queries the Harry Potter world. Plus, it's hilarious at the same time. You must be a genius yourself to make this. Extra kudos for the making genetics part acceptable which is something I've queried before, but lacked the proper data for. After all the presence of squibs and muggleborns indicate that magic is recessive, yet the fact that in canon it's indicated half-blood children are usually wizards indicate that it is dominant. Unless, it is recessive but is much more widespread in the population than you would except such as blood type O in Europeans however then a higher proportion of muggleborns would be expected than there is in the book. Still is is hypothesised with only GCSE level biology so... Right. Personal spiel/rant/thing over, I really like how you've handled the characters, keeping some close to canon but giving them your own spin. I particularly enjoy your Quirrell. Also, I really liked the Sci Fi and fantasy references. Especially the LOTR ones. I think this is probably one of the most perceptive and educating fics I've ever read.
| Knight of Ni chapter 31 . 7/18/2010
This story is so much win I can't even begin to articulate it. I need more or I might actually explode. Thank you for being awesome :D :D
| Gamebird chapter 31 . 7/17/2010
A friend sent me the link to this titling it the greatest Harry Potter fanfic ever. I can't say if it is, having not read very much, but it is quite awesome and I've forwarded it to a half dozen others. It's great. I look forward to your continued story.
| Stygian Styx chapter 31 . 7/17/2010
Fantastic so far!
| iseenodifference chapter 31 . 7/16/2010
I have a brain fart. What was it that hermione did? Was Zabini really on her team and revived everyone? god i need some sleep, or maybe I wasn't supposed to figure that out yet. Good chapter!
| Rose Sared chapter 31 . 7/16/2010
Like many others I want to marry this fic and have its children. Thank you for writing such an entertaining, sleep depriving and funny story.
Will be waiting with baited breath for updates
| mekareami chapter 31 . 7/16/2010
I don't quite get why Quirrel is so different in your story, but I am enjoying reading it regardless. Thank you for writing and I look forward to more :)
| Gatalicious chapter 31 . 7/16/2010
That was fucking fantastic! I loved it, although I did predict that Granger would win it in the end. Poor Harry, he just can't catch a break, he just can't see the world beyond himself and his self-proclaimed views of greatness. But he is pretty smart, undoubtedly...
| outlawpoet chapter 31 . 7/16/2010
Haters gotta hate, but I'll point out in defense of this Hermione that she's had months now of being the nice smart first-year the prefects and older girls like in Ravenclaw versus being "the only one who fucking reads" in Gryffindor.
Also, social roles can be surprisingly dynamic and relative, and compared to this Harry, she IS social and warm, and the differential might push her to be even more so.
Anyway, solid work on the battle. I hope Quirrel gives them some new contexts for their further battles.
| AOEUIDH chapter 31 . 7/15/2010
Enjoyed all the allusions in the battle cries. I get the feeling that you had at least as much fun writing this chapter as I had reading it. Thanks.
| This is my name chapter 31 . 7/15/2010
Awesome couple of chapters. Keep it up!
| Smurfking chapter 31 . 7/15/2010
I'd like to leave a little bit of a frustrated/critical review. I like this story, and I really like where it is going, but I feel that there is something off with it that I might as well speak my mind about. Perhaps I will get a response (sorry for not having an account).
Basically, my quandary with this otherwise great story is the inconsistency of Harry's character. I feel like you are over-compensating for the advantage that you have given him, and it breaks the portrait you are painting of him. Sure, you've given him character flaws. That's great. He's make a couple of mistakes, and, from what I can tell, he's learning from his mistakes. Problem is, he isn't learning from his mistakes like a normal person. In this chapter, you had Hermione be clever and resourceful, using her underlings for support to win the battle. Problem for me is, you've had her be clever and resourceful before, and Harry's already seemed to have learned that he has to be careful around her, because she will surprise him. He's lost to her enough that, conceivably, this fact would have set in. But seemingly, in this chapter, it hasn't.
Harry's supposed to be smart enough to understand timeless physics, which really doesn't quite exist yet, from what I gather from your author's note, and is exceedingly complex. Make him use that intelligence, please. It's infuriating that he can seemingly apply it only every once in a while, because that's unrealistic. You're making him seem like he has some sort of multiple-personality disorder; that there's a smart, logical, genius Harry, and a normal, everyday fault-ridden teenage boy.
To refer back to your "First Law of Fanfiction", it seems that you are giving Harry spotty and inconsistent strengths, and his challenges are getting disproportionately worse. You accuse others of removing the characters from proper difficulty and drama, but I feel that you are removing Harry from success too much.
| The French Dark Lord chapter 31 . 7/15/2010
Ha ha just luv it!
| ByLanternLight chapter 31 . 7/15/2010
This sequence was so utterly beyond brilliant they haven't created the word yet. 7/5.
| Paganimagus chapter 31 . 7/15/2010
I saw your author page asked for feed-back on the chapter split.
Personally I'd vote for the 'single chapter with both parts' option because I find the two parts are both about the same event, the same plot-line.
Also, I like the consistency with chapter sizes.
When I saw you'd undated with two new chapters I was over the moon, and when I finished the second chapter I was heart broken by its shortness.
All that said though, you've totally earned the right to do whatever you want. You could format it especially in purple and yellow and you'd still have hordes of readers devouring it.
| Lucy chapter 31 . 7/14/2010
Random, but you what character I'd be really interested in seeing you write? Tom Riddle Jr. That's the hugest challenge to write without resorting to cliche. Literally no one in the fandom has done it yet. You're a good enough writer that I'm curious to see if you could pull it off.
| Scarlet chapter 31 . 7/14/2010
This story remains so much fucking fun. I'm liking that Hermione's victories over Harry frequently seem to be related, if indirectly, to his tendency to do *everything* himself, either leaving himself with not enough time, or failing to utilise potential resources.
The Sectumsempra and Weasley-rat anecdotes smacked a little of "here, I fixed it for you," but I'm hopeful that the latter at least may be relevant at some point, which would then render that point of minor pique to be rather daft :).
| darrena chapter 31 . 7/14/2010
Absolutely brilliant! didn't really expect Hermione to win :p
Loved this chapters!
| The Pyrofighter chapter 31 . 7/14/2010
No. Just no.
This story fails in the most fundamental aspect of story-telling - it does not entertain.
While I have skimmed through most of this fic, I couldn't find anything entertaining about it. This does contain some decent writing but I just can't immerse myself in it. This read as a non-fictional work, kind of like a science-journal or something; not a story.
Just personal thoughts though, I see why I many people like it.
| Zargon chapter 31 . 7/14/2010
With the DLP debacle, you seem to forget that all advertising is good advertising. Just as you reminded them that flaming reviews still increases the review count, mentioning them in the author notes is advertising for them.
I'd suggest pretending they don't exist, but if you choose to descend into the flames, whether because you feel compelled to defend yourself against personal attacks, or because you find it entertaining to do so, I'd think the best venue for that would be their forum.
In other news, keep up the good work. I'm pleased to find that Hermione has something to teach Harry. I previously thought her only advantage was her memory, and perhaps raw intelligence.
| Coriandergirl chapter 31 . 7/13/2010
SUCCESS! Working in Groups Parts 1 and 2 could practically be a standalone fic (aside from the obvious differences from canon established in this story). I like it muchly. Keep up the excellent work! thank you.
| Dragon Man 180 chapter 31 . 7/13/2010
I actually think my favorite part was Neville, mainly because he as just so awesome it was like the ends of the original series for him! More awesome Neville please
| Mother of Tears chapter 31 . 7/13/2010
Now that's even better! Granger's greatest strength was in using the tallents of the soldiers given her. The boys needed to have learned that lesson.
| Toebang chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
A good addition.
| Lucy chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
Okay, so the whole DLP wank is kind of funny, but you probably should take the higher ground and not escalate from here. Because it's been funny up to this point, but if you escalate by casting aspersions on their collective integrity in an AN like you threatened, then it could get way too srs bsns nasty. And nobody wants srs bsns wank. That ruins everything.
The whole debate really shows how far tastes can differ. I *like* the schizophrenic pacing and random mood swings from high drama to crack. Okay, maybe the schizophrenic pacing a bit less. But the fic would lose something if it was more smooth and coherent. So yeah! The last chapters were awesome, keep it up, have a nice day, update soon, etc~
| Yawny's Friend chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
Your sheer inability to take any form of criticism is probably the defining point in why you will never be a good writer. Declaring that people who don't find the 'inner meaning' in your story, and instead judge it on WHAT YOU HAVE WRITTEN, are in the wrong, is such utter tripe that it causes an aura of smugness to radiate out of your work.
Maybe one day you will understand what it means to write a story about CHILDREN, and how CHILDREN act and handle themselves. Maybe one day you will understand why NiceGuyism is absurd on its opinions of women that you so flawlessly show.
But I doubt it'll be any time soon, with how high on your z list celebrity authors endorsing your story. Perhaps before you write Harry Potter fanfiction, you should actually READ the series in its entirety, and actually understand the characters as something more then sockpuppets to spew your philosophies on rationality.
| Rodrigo Black Potter chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
yeahm that really is true, more people thinking about things in more cases than not, usually come up with good ideas, especially if they specialize... well good job.
You are unpredictable, not any of the Generals!
And what is up with everyone thinks tha VOLDEMORT is secretly GOOD? hahahhaha very very good, really.
When will harry start to kick some ass, he is being taken down for some time now...
| witowsmp chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
, PLEASE, please don't make Ron a strategic genius, I beg you! It's one of my biggest pet peeves of fanfiction. Chess doesn't allow for soldiers to have any unique skills and assumes everyone who's attacked is defeated. It also assumes that everyone stops fighting when their leader goes down. It also doesn't account for traitors. I could go on from there for hours, but the point is that chess is not at all relevent to real battles. It's true that strategic geniuses are good at chess, but it's not true that everyone good at chess is a strategic genius. Ron was never intended that way by JKR, nor was he ever portrayed that way in canon. It's just many fanfiction writers' way of making Ron worthy of Hermione. In canon: Harry was the brawn; Hermione was the brains; Ron was the comedic sidekick who knew the basics of wizarding culture that every other pureblood knew. In this story, you've changed Harry's background and abilities - not everyone's.
Once I read the numbers of Hermione's soldiers who went down, I knew she had a group waiting for an ambush, but neither Draco nor Harry had enough info to figure that out.
I look forward to the next chapter.
| anon chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
Please refrain from mentioning DLP from now on. It makes you look petty.
| AngelForm chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
Quality may have much to recommend it but eventually numbers will tell.
When is Harry going to try holding a shield with one wand and firing spells with another?
Good to see Draco coming along nicely as a rationalist.
Still think its misleading for Harry and Draco to be thinking in terms of ‘good’ and ‘evil’. Very few people are on the side of evil, they just have different directions of good.
I vote for the next battle to be urban. Or possibly siege based, rock - paper - scissors for choosing who gets the fort?
P.S. the songs rocked!
| Sandy Popstar Pickeltry chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
Please be a deary, and write the next chapter as soon as Dear loverboy! Please be a deary and write up the next chapter darn soon, cause if you don't, your lovergirl will get mad and be a tomboy for the rest of her darn life, darn it! She's so darn excited to find out whatever happens, and since she is your lover, you should fulfill the inner cravings of her god darn soul! Is that really too much to ask for? Should one not provide one's lover with all the fanfiction she craves? I think you know the answer god darn well, and I therefore shall not provide you it. Just be a dear little boyzy, and write more! Your lover: Sandy.
| Disapointed chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
I came to this chapter expecting Enders Game instead I read some bizarro world where Hermione Granger is a 'people person' and where two armies apparently cant hit anyone allowing them to play possum then smash the opposition with 12 army, and that Hermione team apparently majored in shield breaking spells.
This entire farce could only be written off if you play up that harry was using the chaos legion only to further his out of game goals (of which he did do very well). If he was serious I would have been expecting Harry to be enforcing Sun Tzu's ideals left right and center, using misdirection, camouflage/stealth, taking the higher ground (trees) using digging spells to create fortified positions and fox holes etc etc etc. And even though Enders game is referenced the biggest takeaway - Bean working on alternative strategies is ignored (as are the circles of command).
The notion that Harry would not think anyone else besides granger could think of a brilliant tactic doesn't hold up to his previous assertions that granger is rubbish and that a better captain would be someone who was later placed in her side.
If Harry truly wanted to win the contest he should have put his men into two teams marched them in under shields recorded how they were attacked by both sides, capitulate without showing any tactics. then left to plan to win the rest of the tournament. But apparently Harry thinks its the height of strategy to instead show all his cards, take great delight in discussing everything with the two other captains before hand, offering advice to whenever he can to Hermione ...
About the only 'reasoned' tactic i saw from the Chaos legion is that their mobility doctrine proved successful against even odds. In the future i expect that all 'kills' will be receive a Coup de grâce just to be sure. some form of red light 'net' that can be strung out between trees to shut down flyer's. Speaking of flyer's- harry is apparently a great flyer, yet as a commander he apparently gave up the opportunity to have a birds eye view of the proceedings?
Again I keep coming back to harry purposely not using any tactics so he could suss out the other armies in the first match.
Draco ... despite what you may have read there is a reason military units drill and train in formation, unfortunately Draco apparently has also not heard of such things as crossfire, flanking, higher ground, dig in etc etc etc.
Really liked everything up to this point, but seriously if your going to make Hermione win, at least give a reason why the other two are going to act retarded or at least make her try something better then 'we all played dead and ambushed you with our super awesome energy spells that can destroy shields even though we are first years and were not expecting them'.
The whole Ron thing... please dont make him a major character... please. IF you have to bring him further into the story then perhaps he can be Neville's Nemesis or something SnugglePuffs vs Griffindorks, theres something worth seeing.
| MM chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
Hermione got most of the slytherins didn't she? Harry got 6 and Draco got 2, and over half signed up.I laughed so much at this because I figured it out early and I knew she'd get help. Who wouldn't help their team win? and if they keep winning like that, I don't think Hermione will have trouble keeping them on her side, they probably won't want to go to the army where they would have less say in what happens
| Animekitty47 chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
I kinda like this new pacing. As long as you do post the bits simultaneously. ;) Hm, I see what you mean about people complaining. The trio ended up doing every thing themselves until the very end...I guess you're Hermione just learned that lesson earlier, hm? ;)
| parrellel chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
I love this story. That you manage to keep all the point-of-view characters wrong or mistaken is impressive. Although I suspect your having each character travel down their own independent paths of inference (messed with by emotion here and there) keeping them all straight is still no small feat.
If you varied the character voices a little more I would have no complaints at all.
Keep up the good work.
| Thom Blake chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
Awesome... Draco seems poised to win the next one. Harry was hoping to drive home to Draco that he needs to use rationality all the time, but Draco beat him to the punch. And Draco has learned Hermione's secret and will be hard-pressed to ignore it in favor of egotism and blood prejudice. So now Draco should be on the fast-track to turning *himself* light, while Harry flounders one step behind till he catches up (there's no way Draco will spill the beans, and I wouldn't be surprised if Harry takes more time than usual to unravel this mystery). And whatever Hermione and friends predict about Draco, it will *not* be that he starts being genuinely good.
Now that Neville's stepped up, however, maybe he'll give Harry some much-needed advice about cooperation.
| Wicked Raygun chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
Genuis. I loved the whole concept of the Sunshine Army. Excellently done. Harry's speech was another highlight. And I loved the reference to Ender's Game. "The gate is sideways!" Cracked me up.
| MiiRsEnd chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
I was wondering how a three way fight may go, I like that Hermione won, I do think Harry should have a monumentally cool and bizarre victory in the next one though.
Nice story though.
| Messypeaches chapter 31 . 7/12/2010
I love you I love you I love you I just read this whole thing in like, 6 hours and it's fuckit all late and I LOVE YOU.
That is all.
| j.curl chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
I L-O-V-E that Hermione won the battle!
| space puppy chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Love the sunshine and niceness theme.
Smileys, happiness and wholesomeness, niceness and a positive outlook! I would find that very unnerving.
I expected the guy Harry couldn't remember the name of to be a Hermione plant, discretely taking down Harry's team like he did Lavender.
Totally missed team sunshine were playing possum like Neville did.
Now, was Malfoy's secret weapon the three Griffyndor in sick ward? Anything else that comes in threes?
| TJeanetteT chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Did not expect that!
| Miss Cow chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
That was really good, although I am a little upset that Quirrell helped Hermione.
| Entropic Specter chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Stunning. Delicious. Too well done.
I'm really enjoying the feeling Granger's Sunshine Regiment gives off. Exceeds expectations, really.
And I really should've guessed her strategy, when Neville was playing dead. Guess I was too caught up in the moment?
In any case. Please keep up the great work, and update soon!
| Meneir chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
I liked the foreshadowing, with Draco correctly identifying the lieutenants Quirrel assigned Hermione. I am surprised that Harry didn't immediately suspect some form of sneaky betrayal from Quirrel, and go back to first principles. Ironically, by doing just that and reassessing the evidence, Draco has been more rational - I'm assuming he'll gloat about it at some point.
I'm not seeing Harry learning his lesson here. His natural conclusion is going to be that he just isn't smart enough, and needs to be. Hubris such as his does not defeat well.
(Un)Fortunately, he has an answer easily to hand - we know that some forms of intelligence boosters exist, demonstrated directly by the Wit Sharpening potion, and also things like Pensieves (and possibly Occulmancy) allow for indirect enhancement by allowing direct examination of ones own memories and thought processes.
It would seem likely that, as previously demonstrated, Harry will reach to the easiest and quickest tool to hand, and some 4th year wizard that is good at Potions will find him/herself with a commission.
| hjcallipygian chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Hahahaha, that was awesome. Loved it. The way you have them all think so logically for their personality is really impressive. You manage to capture the thought processes of three totally different individuals.
| aaronmicalowe chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
British F1 followed by World Cup followed by Methods of Rationality. Unlike the first two I wasn't playing golf to pass the time and had cogs turning. Two hours before bedtime on a Sunday - time well spent. Nice one Hermione :o)
| pazed chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
| Luiz4200 chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Great story arc. Please update.
| Loonynamelass chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Ah! Brilliant! I love the key to her success.
| Daesereg chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
It seems that a lot of the frustration about Hermione comes from the fact that readers like to place themselves in the shoes of the main character, and so every defeat for Harry is seen as a lesser defeat for the reader. Then, when Harry does gain a victory (disproving a law of transfiguration), he doesn't gloat about it, leaving the reader feeling the impact of defeat after defeat but no victories.
That being said, the hero really only has to win in the end, and even that's up for debate. If eating it now makes him the better wizard later, then it's not only okay, it's absolutely necessary.
| Raven3182 chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
That was wonderful! I knew that Hermione had something up her sleeve. Truly great that she bested the others by using her teammates to come up with ideas that Harry and Draco would not expect from her. Wonderful strategy. I love your Hermione so much; she's probably one of my favorite fictional characters. Please keep writing more scenes for her! Long live the Sunshine Regiment! I can't wait for more! Thanks for writing!
| ultra dragon chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
she won... it's always the quite ones isn't it? (with help of course) Harry need anthor three to four other pesronalties if he wishes to make his deisres come true...
| koipen chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
I supported Hermione all along, which may have some subconcious base to the fact that I knew she wouldn't be as straightforward as the other two.
I really want to see the next chapter, and see really how she won.
| the.stories.live.on chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Holy friggin' crap! (I know I say that a lot, but there really isn't any other way to put it.) It's like Ender's Game, but with magic. One the the things I really admire about this story, is that while you have made Harry very powerful and smart, he is not perfect. And Hermione has much more character. Though I still don't know what to think about Dumbledore and Quirrel. Just keep this genius story coming!
| SevereWrath chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Very nice - group psychology is interesting stuff (are we going to see ingroup/outgroup effects in later chapters? Though arguably the four houses are an illustration of that).
Also, excellent way to hammer home the point on egocentric bias. Really got the point across.
And congratulations on the endorsements! Well-deserved.
| phoebe turner chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
| jrp chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
I have to say I'm worried for Zabini. Positive and negative incentives? Depending on how long Quirrell needs to play nice it could be something nasty.
| JonathLee chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
First let me say that I am enjoying your story, for the most part. However, I also want to express my disappointment with the way you have dismissed a large part (almost all) of the Marauders backstory. As you constantly use Harry's character to prove, improbable things happen. However, whenever the improbable applies to the Marauders, your skeptical streak comes to the fore and anything that everything is dismissed out of hand. How probable is it that an 11 year old boy would discover a way to perform a partial transfiguration, which was supposed to be impossible, but his parent (and friends) couldn't become an animagus, a known learnable magical ability, just a few years younger than AVERAGE. We have no way of knowing what the statistical deviation for that average is, or even what the probability curve looks like, but you immediately dismissed the possibility. Given the large number of phenomena that follow a power law distribution, dismissing something because is it "improbable" is not something that should be done lightly.
When you first began this story, your initial premise seemed to be that the only difference between the normal HP universe was who Petunia married, with all of the other differences being a consequent of that. The more of this story I read, the more I believe that you are not simply presenting the events that occurred before Harry was born in a different light, but actually rewriting the history. I have to wonder how much different this story is from those where the author simply applies the names of the characters in the HP universe to characters in a totally different universe.
All of the above aside, that doesn't mean that your story isn't worth reading, just that the advertising is a little misleading.
| LoireLoa chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
So... that was interesting. But it's not really something she can claim for herself, now is it? And if I were Harry (or Draco) I would as someone OTHER than Quirrel for help. Like, I'm sure Lucius knows PLENTY that could take down Hermione's army, and if Harry is going for Chaos, then Dumbledore is the person to turn to. And then SPY on her, using the help of the Weasley twins. After all, Quirrel never said that they couldn't employ the help of OTHERS using magical items - only that they can't use them themselves. I'm sure that Harry could get the Weasley twins to take down some of Granger's forces prior to the next battle.
| Randaly chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
You update really fast. (Though not fast enough for me.)
Also, the term 'Mary Sue' dates from 1973.
| Dormant Account 24 chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
And Hermione says: "Veni, Vidi, Vici." With smiley faces. Brilliant.
| Curly chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Guys, Hermione didn't win because she was an amazing Mary Sue. She won because Quirrel assigned her every supporting character whom the narrator has tagged as talented (bar Malfoy's minions), and she listened to them.
It's ridiculous to see Ron's expertise in chess show up in this story, though. Rowling might not know what general intelligence is, but the fic author can't exactly say the same.
| Roger chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Well... recycle bin it is.
| Jarno chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Hmm, difficult chapter for me to read since I don't agree with it. In a group as small as that, it are only 25 students, if you start having everyone have their say, with half being said useless, you'll be to slow. Realistically speaking, Hermione's group would not have come up with a plan that fast. They were the first of the three groups to act yet in their group they first had to hold a discussion which they did not have to in the other groups.
In Hermione's group you have 5 people mentioned making the calls, which means that 5 people have to agree on a plan made with Hermione probably having a veto. In this case they were lucky that Harry and Draco underestimated them which lead to their plan to work. They are not going to do that the next time and then they'll have to adapt and make new plans as they go along. Their discussions which lead to time loss will bite them in the ass then.
| N chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Wahahah, I loved that ending, it took me by surprise. even when malfoy checked that list I didnt get it.
B e ua tifull
| gwern chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
I note with amusement the many criticisms of Hermione. It seems the author just can't win - nothing Hermione does meets with most reviewers' satisfaction.
(And what's with claims of Hermione's perfection? Harry says Hermione isn't that perfect (which implies she is not a Mary Sue, does it not?), and he's absolutely right. She isn't. She won thanks to her subordinates.)
I'm also curious why so many assume that Neville gave away Sunshine's secret and that the secret was playing possum. Isn't it pretty clear that that was not the case? Hermione sent off most of her army in 2 sections to get defeated very publicly, and the remnant (including Hermione) skulked in the shadows until they delivered the coup de grace.
(If Hermione et al were playing possum, why did she have just 6 left at the end? Why did neither defeated Sunshine group have a Hermione napping in the dirt? BECAUSE SHE WASN'T THERE.)
Perspicacity: with small units, Harry's tactics are basically the equivalent of good old German Auftragstaktik. If he only has a few dozen humans, and a real army has a few dozen divisions, then each of his students is effectively a division and each acting autonomously makes perfect sense. There are no formations in hand-to-hand combat.
| Arkh Cthuul chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
And obviously, while catching the trend, I was wrong in the detail.
Very welld one though, also: For Chaos! (because I simply forgot to add it to my last review ;) ).
| stalker32 chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Bravo .. Teamwork ... I would have behaved like Harry, and just as he could not understand the chips.
"He may have already. How long will it take Potter to figure it out?"
"Forever," said General Granger
| Starlight Chibi-chan chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
ahahahaha, what an excellent resolution. i would have liked to see harry pull off a victory, though. with fingersnapping.
| Syithe chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
I'm... not super thrilled with this latest chapter. I understand needing to keep tension high and main characters in check, but the story is definitely developing a "Oh look, Hermione won somehow!" feel too it. I was really, really hoping that she wouldn't miraculously win the first fight by everybody underestimating her and her somehow being brilliantly prepared, but sure enough it happened. I don't understand how this ADDS to the story. It's been a great story nonetheless, but please try not to fall into this pit. I spent the entire chapter cringing because I knew that no matter how interesting the battle; it was going to end with her pulling something off that somehow makes her win, and then she would gloat. Oh, and to end on a positive note thanks for updating so consistently. I'm not sure I've ever known of an author to do that.
| celopmuh chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
So your Potterverse has mana? There was no mention of that earlier.
| David305 chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Continues to amuse, amaze and impress!
| Rhett1980 chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
I really do like this fic, but you are in danger of turning Hermione into a 'Mary-Sue'. I understand all the arguments about how this Harry is still smarter than canon Harry, but at the end of the day, this isn't Hermione Granger and the Methods of Rationality. The hero CAN get away with awesomeness.
| Gogolu chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
| cheekylildevil chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
He gave her the strategic people... that's evil! Yet very very clever. I thought it was more of a "be nice to your enemies, it freaks them out" at first, but how wrong I was...
| asdfkwoei chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
ARGH WTF nooo Harry lost D:
| Tangshou chapter 31 . 7/11/2010
Congratulations on your endorsements. I found this story a few weeks ago when David Brin recommended in on is blog. I can say with 99.99% certainty that I would not have found this story if he had not recommended it, since I have never read fan fiction before. The story has been a delight, and I also enjoy (which I learn about because of this story). The idea to inject methods of rationality into a magical universe is what makes this story great.
I don't really like splitting the story and aftermath into two chapters since it makes the reviews for ch 30 and 31 are separate, the chapters are really part of the same story. It would make more sense to split the chapter if part 1 and part 2 covered different plots. This is minor though. In the end it doesn't really matter.
My thoughts on the characters:
Quirrell. Excellent. Like the canon he never really took Harry as a real enemy until very late, if ever. It seems Voldemort's main goal this year (other than getting the sorcerer's stone) is turning Harry to the dark side. Wonderful. I also liked that he might prefer to get away from the world if possible. As if dominating the world isn't even worthwhile if there were a better place to go.
Snape. Though it would be a very interesting twist for Snape to loose his love for Lily and therefore his motivation to help Dumbledore, what Harry said would not be nearly enough to do that. Harry is 11 and never really knew is mom. Snape new her for many years and would know whether she was shallow or not, which she didn't seem to be from the canon.
Harry/Draco. A much more interesting rivalry than the canon, the friendship, or at least potential for friendship is a great addition.
Harry/Hermione. More conflict and rivalry than the canon. I could see both characters growing more like each other over time, to their mutual benefit. Hermione's approach will certainly make her a better wizard in the short run, as it would give her better skills in real life. Harry is starting out much farther behind in terms of magical knowledge, and he cares about understanding the inner workings, not just the spells. He has already been more successful than he probably would be in 'real life' by his transfiguration discovery so soon. It should take him a long time before he will be able to overcome Draco, Hermione, and especially Voldemort in magic.
Harry needs to win an Ansari X Prize with a magical spacecraft one of these years. :) One small step toward chasing down the Horcrux.
| dexterZ chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
its official now..i have no idea where the story is heading :(
| destroyer panda chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
No of course canon Hermione couldn't have done this! But canon Harry was 3 sigma less intelligent than this one and the canon Draco was a petty bully! Hermione hasn't been improved half as much as Harry and Draco have been, so I don't get what the problem is here. Also, the WHOLE POINT is that she couldn't have come up with all that stuff on her own. She did so well because she conferred with her army members for ideas instead of trying to do it all herself! Yay for cooperation and all that.
| badkidoh chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Yet another really great chapter.
| ilikebluepineapples chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Hermione shouldn't have ordered Harry taken alive. Look, I have evidence!
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say "No."
It is deep fandom wisdom okay.
| Mede chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I *knew* Hermione was going to win as soon as Harry and Draco too-easily knocked out her army and focused on each other, and then I was still shocked at the end when she and her forces suddenly reappeared even though Neville had already done the exact same thing! Awesome! *cheers*
Incidentally this is quite possibly the greatest Harry Potter story I've ever read. It's mostly funny and occasionally scary and amazingly complex and astonishingly different from everything else, and just from reading it I think you're much much smarter than me (as well as an incredibly skilled writer). Thank you very much for sharing your genius. (And for indirectly introducing me to TV Tropes.) Can't wait to find out what happens next! :)
| tatewaki2000 chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
| rid chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
love the story, but yet cant believe that you had hermione win, after all its your story and your doing a fantastic job, im just like 99% of ppl a harry fan and want to read about him winning, but i like how you started to portray harry, i can only hope you make him better, keep up the writing, nice work, rid
| uo-chou chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Excellent two part chapter. I liked Hermione's solution, both of the other two are too wrapped up in themselves to delegate-which is a sign of a good leader. Keep up the excellent work!
| troyguffey chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I love the 3 armies themes. Harry's working towards Special Ops, Draco's making an old-fashioned battle-line, and I don't know what the Sunshines are.
Loved the references to Ender's Game, Harry's speech, and the Sunshine Marching song.
How the frack DID Hermione do that? I agree with a previous review that canon Hermione is not creative enough to do what she did, and when did Hogwarts students learn about 3-cornered wars.
Harry should have put a sleep spell into each "corpse" just to avoid that very situation.
| Tom Buckner chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Don't be frightened, don't be sad,
We'll only hurt you if you're bad,
goes the Sunshine Army song.
The Author is referencing a game tactic called tit for tat (it's very effective). wiki/Tit_for_tat
Also, The Author mentions in the chapter 30-31 notes that this fanfic got shout-outs from David Brin and Eric S. Raymond. I got here via Brin, but Raymond's blog post has a interesting comment on the science in Methods of Rationality:
“The science is real – it really would be a lot harder to explain transformation from a human into a cat than mere levitation, for example. When Harry, confronted with a magical time-travel device, is immediately terrified that he might be holding an antimatter bomb, this is actually a more justified fear than many readers may understand.” ?p2100
Here's what he's talking about. The famous/notorious physicist Richard Feynman said “An electron is a positron moving backward in time.” Mathematically, the equation for an electron moving backward in time is identical to that describing a positron moving forward, though the why of it will keep you up all night (see . ) Harry reasoned that if every particle in his body started going back in time, his entire body would become antimatter. 1763 megatons, if you do the math in Chapter 14. Or, about 35 Tsar Bombas (look it up on Youtube!) lined up like bowling pins.
The real science is definitely going to constrain the plot. And make it weirder...? Therefore, if readers are looking for plot clues, they might want to follow up some of the science talk. When Harry says a rule of magic goes against known science, that might be the exact area where chaos erupts later on.
| Nongarak chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Nice. Very nice.
| critic chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Yay, another Hermione can never fail chapter.
Please write more of those, haven't seen enough yet.
It is always soo fun to be surprised how she wins again.
I really like your story, excellent writing, a ton of fresh ideas (hardest to find), alone the review count does you credit.
But i'd like harry to succeed in something, anything, again. Please.
| mitremlap chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
| Hinatafanboy chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
All in all I found these 2 chapters among your worst they were very confusing and hard to follow. 3 cornered wars with participants active against each other are pretty rare so I don't see how Hermione would have thought up tactics given that Hermione is not inventive at all. Hermione is a Learner not a Tester for Hermione to ask all her fellow students to help strikes me as Massively OUT OF CHARACTER for her. She learns from teachers and books she never looks to others outside of that for help. Also when given the chance she is at the same level of Harry at least for trying to do everything herself. Also for her attack to be so effective is ridiculous.
There is my rant for the day. I enjoyed many moments of the chapters especially Neville's scene but the ending just left a sour taste in my mouth.
| He Who Rules With an Iron Hoof chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
What the heck did Harry do to draco's shield :/
| demone celestiale chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
| ShardPhoenix chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Awesome couple of chapters, brought a big smile to my face by the end of chapter 30. Loved Harry's speech, etc.
| Caz chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Wonderful story update, I had a great time reading :) I love the characterization of Quirrelmort particularly and the different character's responses to him and to Harry.
I prefer the old way of structuring the chapters with the Aftermath included in the same chapter, I think it flows better. The new way's fine, though.
| Fedora Ferret chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Oh, brilliant. Counter the two best generals with the best army. Your rendition of Quirrell is officially my hero.
| Twisted Identity chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I have to say that I like your story a lot. I thought it was awesome that Hermione won. As I was reading this, I thought I would like to be on her team because she must have some trick.I loved how she won. It was hilarious.
| everetza chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Just reviewing both at once...
I loved the part with the advice to get a dark name and then choosing 'sunshine' and smiley face insignia's. Had me laughing! I expected from near the start that Hermoine would win through something like this - although after it said she wasn't killed I thought it would just be her after the other's killed themselves.
I like how you had Neville do the same thing, to show that both armies could indeed have thought of it if Harry and Draco had asked them. Good chapters, anyway, that had me laughing and interested all the way through.
Looking forward to more, and congrats at the celeb mentions! ;)
| Dureth chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Beautiful. Epic. In-character. Fun.
| Ijoan chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I really love this. It was a great chapter. I really want Hermione to get the Christmas wish but it's up to you. Anyway, update soon!
| me chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I really liked this chapter. One thing that didn't seem quite real to me was the fact that Draco's and Harry's and Hermione's armies were able to fight the way they did, after only one training session. It took Ender a little longer than that to whip his army into shape, after all. As for the multiple part thing, I don't really think its necessary, but I don't hate it either.
PS. Harry's speech was brilliant.
| mynameisthedoctor chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I'm a little confused. Is this version of Quirrell possessed by Voldemort or just secretly evil? It seems to me that Voldemort's character and his death eaters the way they are in the books is very nazi-esque who believes their own propaganda, and I'm fairly certain that J.K. intended it that way. But things like pureblood propaganda was easily enough refuted by siimple studies and Quirrel in this story (like most of the characters in this story) is tweeked into being smarter than their canon counterparts as a consequence of having a genius writer. At first this story seems like a "for want of a nail" story where ONE change is made causing a sort of butterfly effect that changes the everything else of the events that are set up to happen under the original circumstances. I feel like I'm wording this wrong but you get what I'm saying. My point being if Voldemort and his Death eaters are so smart they wouldn't be racist, so what's Voldemort's motivation as a villian in this story and why train Harry Potter to have the tools to defeat him? My only guess is that Querrel actually isn't possessed but the change of setting of harry being raised differently shouldn't have caused that.
Now that I've got that out of the way.
Dang, this updates fast! It's got to be some kind of record for combined quality and diligence! These traits could easily land you good earnings as a writer for your actual job.
| Reader chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I strongly disapproved of the last couple chapters. Hermione is rapidly becoming a character of the most annoying variety, through her ability to constantly succeed despite her naivete. What's more, over the past few mini-arcs Harry seems to have been near-crippled, succeeding at nothing important and hasn't been given much to compensate, while in the meanwhile characters all about him are made more competent or more powerful. Hermione is a classic example of this problem - she needs to be given a significantly harder time of things. Still, overall, the writing was as good as ever, and hopefully the problems regarding the characters' respective levels of difficulty will be addressed.
| Majin Hentai X chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Oh crap Hermione is the untainted Ender. She's going to grind Harry into the dirt until he learns to accept that other people of any intelligence or thought-style can have good ideas. Malfoy might stand a chance because his father probably beat it into him, that he may ask others for albeit secretly and subtlety.
| Perspicacity chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
A decent couple of chapters, if predictable in the outcome. A theme of this story seems to be to have Hermione act as Harry's foil whenever possible. That's fine-he needs one (else this turns into a "Rationality curb-stomp"), but the outcome of this "battle" was pre-ordained from the moment Hermione was named as one of the Generals.
I guess I was hoping for something more beyond yet another "Hermione trumps everything" with her amazing cleverness episode, since there's 100k or so stories out there with that same theme. It's a tired fanfiction trope, exacerbated by how the "sunshine and daisies trumps meanness" is really only true in fiction contrivances. In real life, the bastards win. This is why we have billionaires. And Republicans.
As a historical note, the only time a military strategy of the type Harry employed was fielded, the army was defeated soundly. I give the author props for at least not permitting Harry to win with such a cockamamie approach to battle. There's a reason why discipline is the first thing drummed into recruits' heads when they enlist. Military units are units, not mobs, for evolutionary reasons.
| Peregrinate chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Beautifully done. Team Hermione all the way. Silly Harry...
| anon chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
To the people who are confused over this chapter. Hermione delegated! She didn't teach everyone articulation, she got one of her subordinates to teach them it!
| Guile chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I admit I'm not the biggest Ron fan, but at least in Quirrel's war scenario he has a chance to shine. Strategy being, canon, just about the only thing he is particularly good at.
So if he has to exist, I'm glad he exists NOW, is basically what I am saying.
| anon chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Two chapters of pure awesome. B)
| firedraygon chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
Hahaha, Chaos vs. Discipline, good vs. evil. I like the battle and the different conclusions Harry and Draco make when faced with Sunshine's strategies. The pre-battle speeches were awesome, too. I'm looking forward to the next update!
| Lucy chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I kind of want Hermione to win over Zabini. As her friend. With the powers of niceness and friendliness, and also mutual admiration. Because I like the idea of Hermione having Slytherin friends too.
| harry-mione chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
This was EPIC...
beyond Epic... pure AWESOMENESS
Please do allow Hermione to keep winning, I just love General Granger
| farwalker chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
For this and the previous chapter
I loved it all, the unexpected victory, the puzzlement afterwards - the knowing that Harry's weak point is not looking outside himself for help.
Really like this Harry - and Draco for that matter.
| Carumati chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
So Quirrell was helping everybody BUT Granger?
| Tiky3000 chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
It's like a cliffhanger turned chapter...
| Seeker chapter 31 . 7/10/2010
I love this story, but I have one question on this chapter: how the hell did General Granger teach military articulation? Or on the other hand, how did she end up with a group in which everyone implicitly understood articulation?