|Reviews for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality|
| ack1308 chapter 33 . 4/6
| YanagiAkahana chapter 33 . 3/30
Ahhhhh the Ender's Game reference makes me so happy! This entire fic makes me so happy. As a fellow Ravenclaw, this fic is like a dream come true
| Luna Bass chapter 33 . 3/29
Wait, what happened to all the descriptions of the battles in between? With the one in the halls of Hogwarts?
| WildRosa13474 chapter 33 . 3/21
He's going to shoot himself in the name in the name of sunshine and make it a tie, isn't he?
| Jatok chapter 33 . 11/14/2016
Yeah, someone has read enders game
| sunset oasis chapter 33 . 9/3/2016
Wowwwwww, it's so exciting and thrilling to read, all the twists and turn, and I kept changing views about Blaise's loyalty ... just, wow. I love Harry and Draco's shocked expressions ...
| The Anguished One chapter 33 . 6/14/2016
Such a fun battle! It all comes down to Zabini, who hates all three Generals. Oh, I'm loving this so much.
| Trash4bechloe chapter 33 . 4/9/2016
I keep thinking its ender's game
| Guest chapter 33 . 2/22/2016
Thank you so much for your Ender's Game references. They made my day.
| Guest chapter 33 . 2/6/2016
Purple flaming Zebras! Dis is a good fic! I'm getting stared at on da bus for laughing so hard.
| Montara chapter 33 . 1/22/2016
| UltraFomi chapter 33 . 1/1/2016
1 point for that Ender's Game reference.
| Zeros97 chapter 33 . 12/9/2015
This was just.. too much. This is probably the best fic i've ever read. Thank you so much for writing this
| WatchingTheWatchman chapter 33 . 12/7/2015
Absolutely chaotic and amazing, this is a great chapter! The contrast between the three generals and the way they operate is superb.
Have you read Golem in the Gears, by Piers Anthony? It's got a lovely description of the Prisoners' Dilemma
| ShadowLDrago chapter 33 . 10/17/2015
Star Wars reference, possibly Skyrim reference and Gurren Lagen reference, clever. Also, Zabini, what are you thinking...
| Bnnysrcool23 chapter 33 . 8/14/2015
3this chapter it was so intence I hope you write more story like this .
Sorry if bad English I'm from the phillipenes so yahh also thank u writer I love u as a friend if I ever meet u i would be so excited to see u in real dfhbfjhdsgfuyergafyureufyrgfy
| Guest chapter 33 . 7/10/2015
Youre doing a good job at making harry have flaws but you let hermione be perfect. She cant be good at everything but yet in this she is. I hope this stops because if not i will have to stop reading.
| n-khotomos chapter 33 . 7/9/2015
Timeless decision theory sounds a lot like interactive decision theory (aka game theory)
| Guest chapter 33 . 7/9/2015
I've been wanting to say this si ve the battle started. ENDER'S GAME. SO MUCH ENDER'S GAME. THIS NEED A DISCLAIMER :D I ME AN FEEL OR HEAD FIRST. SHOOTING TO IMMOBALIZE. THE WORD BATTLE. NSYFJABXHSMSNCJAMJFJSMSJCJNABFJDKSJDJDJFNFBSKDNHFJSJD
| Concolor44 chapter 33 . 5/24/2015
... and that sort of convoluted plotting does not come naturally to me, either. My God.
| PA chapter 33 . 5/20/2015
| Village-Mystic chapter 33 . 3/23/2015
I had to take a break from this chapter between trying to get a visual of the the under-water logistics and the math rules. After I decided to ignore keeping track of the math rules I returned to reading and enjoying the chapter based on the character moment and drama.
| ShadowPillow chapter 33 . 1/3/2015
Yes! The holy Ender's Game quote! Brilliant!
| Guest chapter 33 . 12/15/2014
ENDER'S GAME YAY
| Tarvok chapter 33 . 12/11/2014
"Mine is the drill that will pierce Harry's shield!" said Draco Malfoy.
| Sparkly Martian chapter 33 . 9/10/2014
Oh my gosh, I love you and all the Ender's Game references!
I burst out laughing when I read the 'Why are you upside down' part! And the 'For Sunshine' part, that was awesome too, especially Quirrel's statement about Harry Potter and Rules.
| Redery chapter 33 . 8/14/2014
Enders game xD
| thepkrmgc chapter 33 . 8/2/2014
yay for the three way tie after zabini shoots himself for sunshine, this "war" is a great way to develop characters.
| jennifer chapter 33 . 7/31/2014
LOVE the enders game reference in chapter 33 :)
| A Bookworm chapter 33 . 7/17/2014
Yep... You got the idea for reorientation in near-zero gravity from Ender's Game, didn't you?
| A chapter 33 . 6/17/2014
Tense battle, a lot of preconceived plotting. I wonder what would happen if Granger fell in love with Slytherin last minute. Or even whether it was the evil twin that had actually survived. Hmm.
| Ender chapter 33 . 6/13/2014
Oh my god there are Ender's Game references in this.
| silverrain-shiningsun chapter 33 . 5/17/2014
If he wasn't allowed to do this when he was older, Harry was just going to stay eleven forever. Hahaha
| Ruby Rosethorn chapter 33 . 5/5/2014
OMG! Oh my freaking god! Is that an Ender's game reference? I haven't even finished the chapter but, I love it!
Yup, I wrote a review to freak out over a reference, but it's like, the BEST REFERENCE EVER! That was so perfect, I'm gonna explode!
Great job with the rest of it, too. It's been a long time since I talked to a fellow fan of Ender's game, so I kinda feraeked out. I am a fangirl, after all.
Well, I'll finish the chapter now, so, see ya at the end!
-Ruby Rosethorn, Ravenclaw
| Guest chapter 33 . 4/29/2014
I read some other reviews, and this is what I surmised: Rule One of getting people to like your story is to reference Ender's Game.
| Alexja2013 chapter 33 . 1/24/2014
The suspense is real... GO CHAOS!
| Grizzmon chapter 33 . 1/13/2014
It was a great game, and that's more fun?
| Dyrssdytshrdsdhttsdh chapter 33 . 11/25/2013
oh my god— ender's game— the enemy's gate is down— incoherently happy right now—
| z1dytd12901z7018273f18y2f31238 chapter 33 . 11/22/2013
Interesting chapter. The description was really good, and I love how this has it's similarities to the second task in Goblet of Fire. Somehow replaces the lack of the original storyline in this story. I thought the whole Prisoner's Dilemma was really complicated and confusing, and I can't wait to read on. I wonder what Zabini would do...
| Greg Charles chapter 33 . 10/2/2013
Nitpick: borogoves, not borogroves.
| DylanKat chapter 33 . 8/30/2013
"Draco had hoped that they would be fighting in the upper levels of Hogwarts again. "
I'm rereading this story from years ago, and I could swear there was a battle in hogwarts, where Neville used special attacks and took on Daphne , and Draco mentions it here, but its not... Its not here? Is a chapter missing, or am I just remembering something from further on...? As it is now, it goes from first battle to last battle, no second battle that Frasco describes as 'deranged', and I just feel like there's a chunk missing.
| addikhabbo chapter 33 . 8/19/2013
| Contrazione chapter 33 . 8/11/2013
The green spiral spell is Lagann I'm dead.
| Anon chapter 33 . 7/4/2013
So much Ender
| Anon chapter 33 . 7/3/2013
I LOVE your explanation for red and green at Christmas, and it is probably what I will tell my children if I ever have any and they ever ask.
| Alissie chapter 33 . 7/1/2013
1) Mkays. The Lewis Carol poetry stuck in there? Love it.
2) I love how much this story has veered from the expected and the norm. It was paced perfectly, so that you realize that you're at this far off point without recalling a single instance indicative of how far away from canon you'd be straying. Love this as well.
3) Oh my! So much...chaos! XD
| Sam Taeguk chapter 33 . 6/11/2013
Heh, I had suspicions about that "breaking drill" curse... and then the incantation is "lagann". Naturally.
Also, the repetition of "the terrifying part was how fast the whole thing had spiraled out of control" somehow puts me in mind of the Discworld. (Same goes for the earlier "Thursday. Thursday. Thursday. Harry Potter.")
| RussianDestruction chapter 33 . 4/27/2013
Zabini is so evil! My head is all twisted up with convoluted plots!
| psychicshipping chapter 33 . 4/25/2013
Ender's Game reference! AWESOME!
| lastcrazyhorn chapter 33 . 4/5/2013
"Why are you upside down?" the young commander shouted at his army, and began to explain how to fight after you abandoned the privileged orientation of gravity.
| SSC chapter 33 . 3/25/2013
I'm actually laughing out loud. This is ... Wow. Why did it take so long for me to find out about this absolutely amazing fanfic? :-D
| danae-rawr chapter 33 . 3/21/2013
I actually love you for all the Ender's Game references. There are a lot of other references that I don't get, but those, I really really appreciate.
| Legion chapter 33 . 2/10/2013
for we are many
(yes, I'm a sentient review, you ignorant creature)
| difinityone chapter 33 . 2/8/2013
OH MY GODS I LOVE THE ENDER'S GAME REFERENCE!
| Guest chapter 33 . 2/3/2013
As soon as you used Ender's line in the underwater battle, I fell in love.
| Enei Emmu chapter 33 . 2/3/2013
I came dangerously close to getting lost here.
| petalene chapter 33 . 1/30/2013
I love all the spies and double spies and so on. This is definately how real war works so I think it's good training, depending where Quirrell is comming from. The enemy's gate is down! Love this chapter.
| Guest chapter 33 . 1/16/2013
This thought has been creeping up on me since somewhere around chapter 12.
I'm positive now, though.
The moment I read that the battle would be in a lake, the words of The Xenocide echoed in my head.
And when Harry spoke them, himself, I knew right then.
Despite my gender disability in regards to the function, I want to be your wife.
This is a... rather startling revelation for me, and requires some very in-depth soul-searching. I've never wanted to be anyone's wife before. Not Admiral James Tiberius Kirk's. Not La Maupin's. Not even Paul Atreides'!
But you, I would walk down an aisle in white for.
| BreeDante23 chapter 33 . 1/6/2013
"Before him stood the four Lieutenants of Chaos, his most trusted minions, one of whom was a traitor. This. This was what life should be like."
Favorite piece of my favorite scene. In fact, I think this is my favorite chapter to date. Have I mentioned I love you for writing this story?
| BiblioMatsuri chapter 33 . 1/4/2013
Lagann. Green spiral. Now I have this crazy mental image of Draco going "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM?" Argh.
| WildCard-Yes Man chapter 33 . 12/19/2012
I see what you did there with the Gurren Lagann refrense... You tried to hide it but I saw...
| StrangeoneXD chapter 33 . 12/19/2012
Harry seems to be having far to much fun looking and acting evil. Though the armies turned out more chaotic then I thought
| MnM-Flurry chapter 33 . 11/2/2012
"Why are you upside down" Is that a reference to Ender's Game? The way you are referencing to the enemy's gate makes me think it is.
| quintopia chapter 33 . 10/25/2012
One thing still bothers me about this chapter. Why oh why, if Draco could convince Zabini to hand over his wand, and Zabini and Parvati (disguised as Padma) were declared for Sunshine and Chaos respectively, did he not immediately declare for Dragon and hex both of them in turn (starting with Patil since Zabini couldn't retaliate without his wand)? Then it would have a been a one-on-one showdown with Dragon up four points, and Sunshine out of the running completely. At best, Harry could bring it to a tie, by hexing Draco and himself for Chaos, and Draco's victory would be assured if he followed up his executions by immediately calling for Chaos.
I suppose the best reason is that Draco thought perhaps that Harry would get him as soon as he took out the only other wand covering Harry, but this required him to make two shaky assumptions: 1) he could trust Patil and 2) Harry had the magical strength and reflexes to realize what Draco was up to, drop a very draining shield spell, and fire, all before he could cast say "Somnium" twice (i.e., less than a second). I would have liked to have given Draco far more credit than this.
I think I've pretty well put the lie to the claim that Draco "was no fool."
| Charlotte Flame chapter 33 . 9/26/2012
So first off, your story is brilliant! Second off, i've been wondering if your story was loosely related to Ender's Game. Now I know it is! That is, honest to God, my favorite book ever! It's a fantastic book for ideas on world domination, is it not?
| Panruru chapter 33 . 8/7/2012
All hail Discordia. F'ing brilliant.
| voodooqueen126 chapter 33 . 8/2/2012
You are so totally a Harmony shipper. Not that I have a problem with that, since I was to until the 2nd last book.
| Garniella chapter 33 . 7/23/2012
Ender's game! I absolutely love Harry for using that quote! Brilliant! Awesome war sequence.
| Satirica chapter 33 . 7/17/2012
Ooh, a cliffhanger ending. I think I enjoyed the underwater battle more than the land battle, probably partially just because of the twist on battleground conditions.
| Guest chapter 33 . 7/12/2012
"Draco had asked Harry to stop and let him to think about this for a while before they continued."
I believe you meant either "and leave him to think about this," or "and let him think about this."
| Cherrie-san chapter 33 . 5/15/2012
The whole "Why are you upside down?," fighting in a 3D battlefield, and the name of 'Dragon Army' fondly reminds me of Ender's Game. Kudos!
| CurtainCall chapter 33 . 4/30/2012
I actually squealed when I read Harry's line about fighting upside-down. That's one of my favorite quotes ever, and to see someone else recognizing it was fantastic. Anyways, that's it.
Oh, and to prove I'm not just blabbering, the line was from Ender's Game, by Orson Scott Card.
| yitiantulong chapter 33 . 4/10/2012
Urggg... gotta love this fanfiction. I love Monty Python, and eels-in-my-hovercraft is nearly my personal motto! :)
Not to mention the Alice poem.
Best of all?
Ender's Army! :) YES!
(And now excuse me while I go read the other 528 cool sf and f books so I can catch all the other references I didn't get.)
| ProblemSleuth chapter 33 . 4/4/2012
you seem to like Ender's Game references.
| daniblovespie chapter 33 . 3/12/2012
ender much? i noticed the moment harry first said dragon army has never lost at the first battle, when sunshine won
| scorpioneldar chapter 33 . 2/29/2012
ok where did the inside the castle fight go?
| emaN chapter 33 . 2/22/2012
Mr. H Potter: I don't think so. If Sunshine said "for Dragon/Chaos", they wouldn't win points; Dragon/Chaos would lose one point (increasing Sunshine's lead over Dragon OR Chaos by one). Since Sunshine's objective is to widen their lead as much as possible, they're better off just shooting people "for Sunshine" in order to net two points (increasing their lead over Dragon AND Chaos by two).
I don't know how your alternate strategy is supposed to work. Dragon and Chaos were tentatively united, so there are really only two armies (Draos vs Sunshine), and again, shooting enemies in the name of another army would be less efficient than simply shooting them in the name of your own. Harry executing a Chaos traitor "for Sunshine" was a very context-dependent strategy.
| Mavarax chapter 33 . 2/22/2012
Is it just me or is there an INCREDIBLY obvious solution for several scenes here. When the United Dra-os army says for Sunshine Sunshine should just say for Dragon/Chaos and so sunshine wins points. Alternatively you could get two of the armies to fight each other and when they've both suffered losses you could get you're army to all says for a different army and then cast Somnium on them.
| Duchess E. V. Watson chapter 33 . 12/3/2011
I died as I read that. You have no idea how hooked I am.
| iroshi chapter 33 . 11/4/2011
Okay, I went to bed last night part-way through this chapter. Specifically, I had just read where Draco yells to reform on him. And having posted this on my Facebook this morning (and will probably copy it to my LJ and Google just in case) I figure this is actually the best review I can give you:
Also, Less Wrong is *officially* an evil, evil author. Evil being read as the author of a fanfiction that is already over 450k words, not yet finished, *hilariously* funny for the first ten chapters, humor gradually becoming less the focus and more simply the backdrop, as philosophy and PLOT gradually take over the story...all wrapped up in well-written prose that make you TOTALLY NOT REALIZE YOU'RE STILL READING AT 3AM UNTIL YOUR HUSBAND INTERRUPTS YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLIMACTIC 'BATTLE' SCENE! (Climactic in the sense of end-of-semester, not end-of-story, which isn't actually completed.) Mind, I wasn't just tired-but-can't-put-down-excellent-story. I was totally-not-tired-because-I-am-wired-from-the-story-wired. I had to take an antihistamine to get to sleep. I feel like I overdosed on Miles Vorkosigan, it was THAT good...and THAT hyper, too. hehehehe...I know what I'm doing allllll weekend.
(Of course, this included the URL for your author page on which I didn't bother to copy here. :)
I got SO FED UP with my husband not getting why it was so hilarious that I started sending .txt messages to my best friend (who I had already sent the URL for your story to) to get her to START READING IT ALREADY SO I COULD SHARE! Within an hour she was reading, and texting back to me her snort-worthy or squee-worthy lines. Mind, I didn't discover Feynman until I was a teenager, and I haven't actually read any of the lectures (though they're on my list of "Things I Must Buy When I Have The Money”), but I at least –recognize- every reference you’ve given thus far, even if I occasionally have to look them up to remember the details of some of them.
I’ll admit that I always absorb traits from anything I’m reading for an extended period of time, whether that be as simple as wording mannerisms or as expansive as energy states, but it takes an extremely well fleshed out character to put me in this level of mindset, so much that I’m still babbling in my head the next MORNING. I reference Miles Vorkosigan for a reason – Lois McMaster Bujold is the only author I’m aware of that can influence my mental processing this strongly and for as long. Usually I can shake the effects off within minutes of communicating on my own (whether that be verbally or in text like this), but Vorkosigan novels can have me at manic speed for a week (and the Chalion series makes me extremely solemn and introspective.) It’s the next day and I’m still stuck in your Potter-Evans-Verres brain speed.
Which is slightly annoying, but worthy of a testament to how excellent your writing is. And I happen to *like* the little manic bugger, so that helps, too.
I shall post another review, possibly nagging for the next chapter, as soon as I’ve finished your great galumphing volume of work here. Given that I had to be *interrupted* in my reading to even notice time passing, not once, but THREE times yesterday? I thoroughly expect that will be before the end of this weekend.
| typechrome chapter 33 . 10/30/2011
This fanfic is much like the universe. It starts out neat and organized but slowly falls into chaos and disorder. I was rofl in the beginning but now I barely get any of it since it's like everywhere.
| skyfiresarah chapter 33 . 10/5/2011
I've already reviewed Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality once, and I thought, "Well, this fic is great, I really enjoy it, now I've told the author that I liked it, and I've done my duty. I don't need to review it again." Then I read this chapter. And started laughing and applauding when I read '"Why are you upside down?" the young commander shouted at his army, and began to explain how to fight after you abandoned the privileged orientation of gravity."' I just have to applaud anyone who gives a nod to Ender's Game in a fan fiction about, well, Harry Potter and the methods of rationality. I also loved it in an earlier chapter when you quoted Douglas Adams. Any way, I just wanted to say that if I wasn't in love with this story before, it is now officially one of The Best Fan Fictions I've Ever Read. You just made my day. Thank you for writing something so wonderful.
Also, thanks for being one of those rare people who knows/remembers what it's like to be an intelligent kid who's never taken seriously and therefore dislikes most adults, and for writing with those kids in mind.
| Alice Thane chapter 33 . 10/1/2011
Okay! So I am half way through this chapter, but I just had to ask, have you read Enders Game? This reminds me so much of it! Also, earlier in the book you used The Death Note! Brilliant! Much love for your story! Now back to reading..
| Miss L. Anyus chapter 33 . 9/25/2011
Dear Less Wrong:
I must apologize; I did mean to review much _much_ earlier than Chapter 33, but Methods of Rationality has proved to be too much of a page-turner to take a break!
Firstly (as in Chapter 1), you've given me the solution to a problem that I've been suffering with for years. "Other shelves have two layers of paperback science fiction, with the back layer of books propped up on old tissue boxes" That's a great idea! Plus, being a stereotypical nerd with allergies, I have lots of old tissue boxes.
Finally, I have to give you major kudos for what you've done with Zabini at the end of Chapter 33. He isn't one of the 'rivals' and he's not a General; yet, he's the game changer - the deciding piece. I think that could be a great lesson for the triumvirate: You don't have to be the one in charge to decide the outcome.
Thank you very much for writing this story and for sharing it with us.
Miss L. Anyus
| AR chapter 33 . 9/21/2011
You are beyond diabolical..
And I loved that you put in the Prisoner's Dilemma in this..
It was just simply inspiring..
Really really amazing writing
| ElektrikRage chapter 33 . 9/7/2011
Wow, Ender's Game reference! YES!
| Megan McAlistair chapter 33 . 9/3/2011
"The version of decision theory used in this chapter is not the academically dominant one"
out of sheer and utter curiosity, what would you do if it turned out to be wrong?
"and which had even spread to Muggle countries."
let me guess, her name was Holly?
"where Quirrell was drooling into his soup"
why does he always go into zombie-mode? is something draining his power?
and is he that way when he is going somewhere?
"All we'd need to do is shoot Franz Ferdinand"
hey, I liked that band!
"It's gone to complete chaos. I'm all for it."
he called his guys the Chaos Legion, what else did you expect?
plus that's what it's like in real life and that's what Quirrel wants to prepare them for
both of them
"Her question had put an ironic smile on the young Slytherin's face."
it will all turn out, Hermione, it will all turn out
(sentenceAname(or nickname or title)sentenceAominous ambiguity)
"The scornful look on the Slytherin's face made it clear what he thought of people who didn't take plotting seriously."
plotting is serious business
heck, it really is
"The awesome thing was how fast he'd been able to escalate the chaos once he started doing it deliberately."
this time he is the special one, the only one who sees usefulness in the chaos, like Hermione was the only one to see the use of the General's big office/room
"his most trusted minions, one of whom was a traitor."
uuuuuuuuuuh(trans.: oooooooooooh), foreshadowing
"a tone so deep that the boy often had to stop and cough"
fitting well with the overall imagery
"And as for Blaise Zabini"
he underestimates him, I think
"then they had ever been pushed"
than, not then, typo
"Draco couldn't even imagine what it would be like to live under his rule"
it is, as you say, inconceivable!
because we always try to put an order to things, a rhythm, a method
"And both prisoners had to make their decision without knowing the other one's choice, and neither would be given a chance to change their decision afterward."
I'd stay silent
"Two identical copies wouldn't decide different things"
doesn't the chaos theory work against that?
I'm not sure so that's an honest question
"you shouldn't think like you're choosing for just yourself, or like you're choosing for everyone"
what did Kant say again?
Handle stets so, dass die Maxime deines Handelns als Grundlage einer allgemeinen Gesetzgebung dienen kann. (without looking it up)
"locked on the kindly face"
your beta seems to have slept this chapter, kind face, it's ot an adverb (correct me if I'm wrong)
"and the traitor had just modified it a little..."
I'm not gonna guess who it is because I'd just guess wrong
my gut says nothing on this one except after a long time and only to shut me up: Neville
"Why are you upside down?"
Only eleven and already plotting to take over the world?
"until they had a plan that let them expect victory"
every path leading to a victory
"Hermione just looked at them all wearily."
at least my annoyed, "can't you shut up for one second?"-feeling gut wasn't the only one
"The direction formerly known as 'up'"
it is now represented by an unpronouncable symbol
"Rainbows and unicorns!"
and don't forget harmony!
"It still hurt every time he had to shoot Hermione"
why does he have to shoot her repeatedly? twice I would understand but more than two times?
"that is like the most pathetic childhood trauma ever"
do you happen to know Skulduggery Pleasant?
"or for some unimaginable reason he'd already spent a lot of time working out how to fight underwater"
because he could, because there is a possibility, because great minds never rest
"the distant underwater moon was only half full now"
not half empty?
"they'd all shot him again just to be sure."
like Ronon, stunned multiple times
"or just leave things the way they were."
there can be only one
| Mycroft R Holmes chapter 33 . 9/2/2011
I found this story only yesterday, and haven't even finished chapter 33 yet, but I wished to give my feelings at this point before going further. This is one of those very rare tales that gives me a sense of "someone understands" and of "I'm not the Only Sane Woman". I mean this not in the sense of teenaged "no-one understands me" angst but from the perspective of someone who has always been smarter than those around her (though not necessarily wiser) and came very near, many times, to biting people when they thought that because I wasn't eighteen, yet, I was subhuman, and when my biology teacher insisted that cells were not made of atoms. (She was teaching 11th and 12th grade biology. How she got this job, I have no idea.)
Also, I wished to say that when I read "Why are you upside down?" I may have punched the air and yelled "Yes!", which I do not do. At all.
| madeyemarauder chapter 33 . 9/1/2011
Ender's game was the best story I had ever read until Philosophers' Stone was published.
| Runt the Brave chapter 33 . 8/24/2011
I was waiting for it too. Ever since the armies were formed and Harry wanted Dragon Army. Yyyyyyyyeeeeeeeessssssss! I squealed. My family stared at me. Go Harry-quoting-Ender! Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I love this part! -still squealing-
| Isa Knightwalker chapter 33 . 7/17/2011
I loved "But Zabini does have a mother who doesn't approve of Muggleborns like Granger," since it shows that Harry has gotten to Draco and he is now using terms besides just Mudblood.
Also, all of the twists are awesome! This chapter was another one of my favorites. I can't wait to see what Zabini will end up doing.
| Bittersweet Freedom chapter 33 . 7/16/2011
OH MY GOD.
So many Ender's Game references. And you even had a Death Note one earlier. XD
I love you. 3
| Artful Lounger chapter 33 . 6/21/2011
I had a feeling the 'breaking drill hex' was a big Gurren Lagann reference, but this proves it.
| Itachi's apprentice chapter 33 . 6/1/2011
OMG! Damn! to the very end. that was wow. Great work.
| Maskless Masquerade chapter 33 . 5/20/2011
Hooray for Ender-Harry! I almost choked trying to stifle laughter when I first saw the words "Dragon Army" and I've been thinking about battle-school being the inspiration for Quirrel's chaotic extracurricular games...but the lake idea was brilliant! I hadn't been make to think of a nullo environment. I love all 4 of the enders game books and the shadow series...now I just need an obscure Labyrinth quote to make this story seem surreally like the personality of Harry was taken out of the inside of my head...
| Sidelines chapter 33 . 5/15/2011
I literally started clapping when you wrote, "Why are you all up side down?" Love to the Enderverse and injecting logic into magic.
| Albernheit chapter 33 . 4/29/2011
"If he wasn't allowed to do this when he was older, Harry was just going to stay eleven forever."
And this is why everything, I think every time I read this sentence. Would be the third time now, I think.
| MouetteHeartsErik chapter 33 . 4/12/2011
Hundreds of cheers for the Ender's Game references, ahh, Harry, good boy. I adore how Neville is growing in this story, a Hufflepuff for Chaos indaed... plots within plots within plots. :D
| anaraz chapter 33 . 4/7/2011
one day I might even understand the chaos in this chapter.
| scarhead8 chapter 33 . 3/25/2011
I wasn't going to review because you probably get a lot of reviews, but I had to because of the references.
"My hovercraft is full of eels," said Harry.
"I will not buy this record, it is scratched," chorused his four Lieutenants.
"All mimsy were the borogroves."
"And the mome raths outgrabe!"
"Why are you upside down?" the young commander shouted at his army, and began to explain how to fight after you abandoned the privileged orientation of gravity.
This is the best Harry Potter fanfiction I've ever read. Nicely done.
| ARMH chapter 33 . 2/23/2011
I love this battle, but there's one thing that confuses me (apart from the insanity of the plots going on). How come Sunshine gained points when they hit people on Harry's and Draco's sides in the initial encounter. Since Chaos and Dragon were "for sunshine," shouldnt she have lost 15 points from her side getting hit plus another 10 for the "sunshines" on the other team that they had hit?
| Alice Rose Winter chapter 33 . 2/20/2011
1. I love the idea of fighting underwater
2. I love Ender's Game and all of the other references so far
3. I love all the treachery
4. He's going to shoot himself in the name of Sunshine isn't he?
| BattleSchool wannabe chapter 33 . 2/10/2011
and he's 11 the same age as ender so thats just perfect and i totally understand why hed want to say that it must have been epic
| QueenTigris chapter 33 . 2/2/2011
It seems SOMEONE has read Ender's Game. Also, was that a Gurren Lagann reference? How many awesome points can you HAVE?
Fanfiction is not supposed to be this good. This is hilarious and gripping at the same time, the plot is so fast paced it's actually hard to keep up with each jump forward, the characters are fantastically rendered... Of all the fanfictions of this length that I've read, probably the best. Definitely of the Harry Potter genre.
I started reading this only a couple days ago after a recommendation, and I dread the inevitable when I reach the end and have to wait for future chapters.
I am having difficulty coming up with recommendations for you to better your writing or the story, as I usually do with other writers... so, carry on, I say!
Also, since the Deathnote and TTGL references, I keep waiting for one of the Generals to pull out a chessboard and pull a Lelouch Lamperouge and start calling all of his soldiers by the locations of squares. Or for that matter for Hermione to pick up Sun Tzu's "Art of War" and study her way to victory. Or for Draco to start snapping his fingers like Roy Mustang. While the story is compelling on its own, I must admit a large part of the fun is the constant references to popular culture; and the references to REAL science are quite refreshing.
In other words, thank you.
| Student chapter 33 . 1/22/2011
You've mentioned in several places that repaying an author for teaching you something is often difficult, so I'll have to hope you will settle for an expression of gratitude. The section of this chapter about the timeless solution to the Prisoner's Dillema is the best explanation of an idea (to which I had not been previously exposed by your sequences) in the fic. It is easily accessible, and I feel like I understand it well enough to explain the concept to a third party (which is my standard for comprehension).
I want to say this out loud, because it gives me the chance to pick at your (earlier) explanation of using the time turner to prove that PNP, which remains deep-magic technobabble despite three attempts. I'll be trying that one again tomorrow, when I've had a full night's rest.
| Qwertiest chapter 33 . 1/19/2011
I absolutely love the Orson Scott Card allusions as I love the book, especially the one that Neville said in his battlecry (Unfortunately I haven't read the other books you alluded to in there), but I laughed hysterically nevertheless. Just so you know, I mouthed them out every single time then rolled around on my bed laughing.
| Azremodehar chapter 33 . 1/19/2011
Just found this fic thanks to TV Tropes, haha. Been enjoying, and just wanted to say that the shades of Ender's Game made me giggle.
| Spyro chapter 33 . 1/16/2011
All those spies and traitors, and not one TF2 reference. :'(
| The Blasphemous Contessa chapter 33 . 1/12/2011
If it weren't for Ender's Game I'd have no idea what was going on three quartets of the time. Still not scurvy enough to understand but definitely amused
| The Epitome of Eccentricity chapter 33 . 1/9/2011
I recognise Ender's game in there. The enemy is DOWN, eh?
| A new fan chapter 33 . 1/6/2011
So I realize this was posted quite awhile ago, but I've only just read it (and am loving every word of it). Presumably it's possible that someone's already pointed this out, but if Parvati's personal goal (as it seems to be) is to ensure Sunshine's victory then all she has to do once she's paired off against a single player (assuming the points spread stands as it does in the fic) is declare for Chaos and shoot herself. Sunshine wins.
A Ravenclaw would have thought of that. Hmph.
End of line.
| doconnor chapter 33 . 1/5/2011
I must admit I enjoyed the science better then these elaborate plots. Hopefully we will get back to more of that.
I think I got this time travel thing figured out.
When you go back in time and interact with yourself you always take actions that cause to you want to take those actions when you go back in time later.
Perhaps what happens is when you go back it changes what you do the next time you go back which effect the next time and the next time for millions or billions of cycles, until, by chance, you do something that causes you to take the same actions you did before, stabilizing the loop. That stable version is the only version you actually remember.
| Uniasus chapter 33 . 12/22/2010
Did you know this story is on Wikipedia? Not that I found this there, my lovely sis sent it too me, but I think you're the only fanfic I've seen linked to on that site.
This fic is fantastic by the way, and totally messes with my mind. But that feeling seems to be something I'm actively seeking more and more of nowadays. There is something wrong with me.
I'm slightly interested if some of Harry's reactions to the fantasy world mirror yours, or if they are complied from all the reading you're found of picking up. Either way, I don't think I could handle meeting you if you're a Lord of Chaos in real life. I wouldn't be able to processes it and most likely spontaneously combust. Which would be, you know, sad. Cuz I kinda like living. And I adore your fic too.
| neokid93 chapter 33 . 12/19/2010
I'm really impressed with this story and it makes me laugh enough every once in awhile to make up for the darker bits. I really enjoy all the math and physics and mostly, I enjoy the references to things that not everyone knows. I got the Ender's Game reference easily as I loved the book, but the one that really made me laugh in realization was the Gurren Lagann reference...I'm only slightly disappointed to say that I did not get it with the first breakind drill spell, but when it was described and named I noticed. If it had been my boyfriend (a true fan of the series) he would have probably gotten it as soon as he read the word "drill". Now if I can just get him to read a Harry Potter fanfiction...I suppose the TV tropes connection might help snare him. Anyways, I would like to thanks you for the admirable job that you have done so far and tell you that I look forward to reading the rest of the story and appreciate all the planning that you have put into writing it. :)
| MungoJerry chapter 33 . 12/17/2010
"Why are you upside down?"
You Glorious Basterd.
| ender13sfd chapter 33 . 11/25/2010
It is an amazing story.
Loved the reference to "ender's game".
I have read hundreds of stories here and this is an extraordinary one.
Very well done!
| brilliantnut chapter 33 . 11/24/2010
This chapter reminds me so strongly of Ender's Game, that I was surprised to not see an acknowledgement. Well done - It was interesting to see the points balance out in the end, starting from the same concept of battles in low gravity. I will definitely have to read the chapter again to get the whole traitorship graph right, but it was good fun
| Eli Courtwright chapter 33 . 11/6/2010
'"Albus," Minerva said, "we cannot lose Professor Quirrell now, we cannot! If he but stays through January our fifth-years will pass their OWLs, if he stays through March our seventh-years will pass their NEWTs, he is remedying years of neglect in months, a whole generation will grow up able to defend themselves in spite of the Dark Lord's curse - you must stop the battle, Albus! Ban the armies now!"'
I really liked this passage because it drove home why Minerva was so adamant about ignoring Harry's warnings about Professor Quirrell. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to care about test scores overly much, but in this case those test scores represent the ability of her students to defend themselves against evil... so surely whatever is wrong with Professor Quirrell must be worth ignoring!
Great job, as always!
| Indigo Ziona chapter 33 . 10/28/2010
Ah, Blaise Zabini. Always fun.
'"Harry!" said Draco in utter shock.
He didn't even realize until a second later that he'd said it at exactly the same time, and in exactly the same tone of indignation, as Granger.'
'She's not dead, Harry said to his brain as his kicking feet pushed him away, she's just resting. IDIOT.'
'Hermione and Draco had both been fighting their soldiers, trying to get them to stop plotting on their own all through December. Harry had egged his soldiers on and supported their plotting through the last two battles... while also telling them that at some future point he might ask them to put a plot or two on hold, to which they'd all readily agreed. So now, in this critical battle, they were happy to obey.'
| The Wind God chapter 33 . 10/25/2010
Probably the greatest chapter I've ever read in a fanfiction. That was awesome on so many levels and grabbed me and didn't let go. Thank you for writing such a great story. I'd have reviewed earlier, but I'm lazy. I look forward to the chapters to come. :D
| Squeamish chapter 33 . 10/13/2010
I think this missing a word:
"Anyway," said Hermione in a loud voice. "Zabini took with everyone who we thought was a spy, so in our army we can stop watching each other quite so hard now, I hope."
| Kutta chapter 33 . 10/11/2010
| LunaSlashSea chapter 33 . 10/8/2010
| jediprankster chapter 33 . 9/26/2010
When I first came to the part with the armies and battles, I was reminded of 'Ender's Game'. And once the battles started, I was more forcefully reminded. And then you had Harry ask why they were upside down, and I just completely lost it. And now after the conclusion of these battles (for now) I have to ask you: Are you quite sure you aren't actually Orson Scott Card writing fanfiction just for kicks?
I am impressed. With the possible exception of chapter 17 (at least the part in Dumbledore's office) which I thought was the low point of the story and horribly inconsistent with the Dumbledore everywhere else in the story. It did still make me laugh though, so it wasn't a total miss.
I think I shall enjoy the rest of the story.
| Tall Tails - Feline Jaye chapter 33 . 9/7/2010
*gasp* You are MEAN! I told myself I'd sleep at the end of this chapter. HOW CAN I SLEEP WITH A CLIFFHANGER LIKE THAT?
| Lanthanum chapter 33 . 8/22/2010
(Possibly unnecessary warning: 1MB image.)
| xn3ct chapter 33 . 8/16/2010
I loved the TTGL reference! That was an amazing battle!
| James Birdsong chapter 33 . 8/13/2010
| Morbious20 chapter 33 . 8/13/2010
| Lady of the Hunt chapter 33 . 8/8/2010
OMG! I love Orson Scott Card. THANKYOU THANKYOU THANKYOU! You are the shiznit!
| dundee998 chapter 33 . 8/8/2010
"Lagann!" spoke Draco, putting everything he had into it, and the green spiral blazed out and Harry's shield shattered, and at almost the same moment -
Holy cow. This chapter is, like, a week or two old, and I did NOT CATCH THE REFERENCE. What a fool am I.
It IS a Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann reference, isn't it? And of course, the Drill-Breaker spell that he mentioned earlier... It has to be TTGL. Even if it is just coincidence, still an awesome chapter.
| Less Wrong chapter 33 . 8/7/2010
Due to the insert of a new Ch. 32, all reviews from before this point are really for 'Coordination Problems, Pt 2'; all reviews after this point are for 'Coordination Problems, Pt 1'.
| aaronmicalowe chapter 33 . 8/7/2010
Haha, only just realised that I thought there were 1000 people more in the world than there actually are! I’m one of those billion million x million people. Does the world now seem like a smaller place? Well, not really since it’s still a lot of people and the same it was before, just less than I thought. Try imagining all those 1000 million faces all at once and you'll see it’s mind boggling.
Still, I can understand why some wish to try and slow down the erosion of British culture as it becomes Americanised (or is that Americanized?). But to be fair we Brits also have a fair influence on the American culture (relative to our size), so I for one am not all that bothered either way.
| CeilingFan chapter 33 . 8/4/2010
Quirrelmort is terrifying. (But still awesome.)
| Animekitty47 chapter 33 . 8/2/2010
An awesome and very interesting chapter. The PDF file is totally awesome. XD
| Adeptis chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
| solussword chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
The sheer amount of mental acrobats you put yourself through is astounding. I wish I could be as unbiased as you when I write.
| space puppy chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
(Trying again since the formatting got messed up. This is for chapter 34.)
Good on Harry for calling out Quirrell. His unity is strength theme would have the magical world becoming their enemy. I took it as another strong hint the character is evil (deliberately ignoring word of god on that one).
The aftermath with Zabini dissing Dumbledore and being Obliviated was probably done with Quirrell's knowledge, since he was the one bringing Harry and prompting Zabini to spill. Quirrell removing Dumbledore as a role model for Potter through convoluted means is one more strong hint he is grooming Harry and up to no good. I'm thinking the very creepy black mist person was Quirrell, though he could have an ally. That was an impressive scene, and this chapter makes me wonder how much more is going on at Hogwarts that we don't know.
Hermione was a bit OOC going for a Ravenclaw house cup when her Sunshine team was all about individual empowerment. Her own speech hung a lampshade on it. The Dumbledore plot justifies it, but characters can't be acting themselves if they are manipulated so constantly they don't have their own agency.
I'm thinking the Christmas wish plot will involve uniting the houses, and Dumbledore is indirectly responsible for that. Quirrell is playing along, opting to reconcile the wishes in one swoop instead of going back on unclear words: the man has a really big ego. So I don't think he is going to use the unspecified year cop out; he is going for broke.
It's interesting that your A/N are defending your rewriting the Pettigrew plotline. Changing the Black and Pettigrew characters like you apparently did is much bigger than a change to smooth the universe and I was pretty shocked when I first saw it. It sounded like ignorance or disrespect of canon's character building, and it was done offhand, seemingly as a joke. I'm still not sure it was important to the plot. But since you mentioned it again, I'm going to assume you put some thought into it.
| Dureth chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Wow. That was... unexpectedly dark. Excellent chapter.
| Luiz4200 chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Good chapter. I wonder if Quirrell will make Slytherin and Ravenclaw get tied.
| The French Dark Lord chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
| Wolfric chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Good chapter. Thanks for writing. W.
| lobocom chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Hail the chaos lord! This is one of the most hilarius stories that I have ever read. PLEASE update soon.
| Pentecost chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Quite the speach.
| Minerva McGonagall Rox chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Another awesome chapter! Earth lost a good novelist when you went into AGI. Of course, if you do live forever, you'll still have time to do a lot more writing. I'd like that.
| Inwitari Turelie chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Yes, Professor your family are all dead by the Dark Lord's hand are they not?
Seems even this Voldemort gave into that temptation.
Anyway another interesting and intriguing chapter. Looking forward to more :-)
| ilikebluepineapples chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
And lol at "my family is long since dead at the Dark Lord's hand." Nice way to remind that Quirrelmort KILLED HIS OWN FAMILY, for those of us who were getting too attached.
| Kat chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Wow, what did Harry wish for?
| Bias Hazard chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Most excellent. And now we get to test Harry's hypothesis with an inversion of the history Quirrell described; a large, ostensibly solid and united force, against an army with apparently no commitment to irreversible punishment of traitors. The flaws in the unity plan are pretty serious, as everyone has pointed out. There's the fracture stress the first two house wishes put on the armies, and the constant uncertainty that will exist in their ranks, and of course the simple matter of numbers. But beyond that, they didn't understand how Harry very nearly beat them, partially explained in Harry's great little speech. Beyond what Harry said, their teams did not win was because Harry's team was encouraging having fun!
Harry has avoided a serious problem to which Draco and Hermione committed themselves. They are attempting to create trust through fear-enforced-unity. Harry has /already/ created trust by /allowing/ for common personal goals beyond team points(such as fun and a high degree of individual freedom). The generals seek victory; for your whole army to seek victory, you must have an army whose collective interests correspond to the those of the individuals within. Draco and Hermione tried and continue to try to shape the motivations of the individuals to meet what they see as the best means for the generals' goals (now with more fear!). Harry redefined his army's goals to meet an already-existing widespread set of individual goals. It's easier to shape rules than people. Given the choice, people will opt for more choice. While playing a game, most people will want to have fun playing. And individuals who think for themselves will give more trust to individuals who they think think like them.
A good compliment and addition to some themes in canon later on (when Rowling really got political). There we have the old Minister of Magic replaced by a new leader, who people perceive as a "strong leader" for superficial reasons. That fellow is constantly attempting to recruit Harry to be a /symbol/ for unity. And he has to maintain an image of strong leadership by arresting innocent people. And sending them to Azkaban. Evil by another name, borne of fear and the wrong approach to unity.
This Harry and the one in that story are equally outraged by the existence of Azkaban. And I suspect that Harry's first wish was to shut the place down.
Oh right, I'm supposed to give well-rounded critique. Fun and interesting, as the story has been throughout! I agree with an earlier comment about the characters being strangely personal on stage at the beginning, and to several much earlier criticisms about characters' rapid mood changes being jarring. I haven't noticed the latter so much recently. And of course, your story is trying to do so much at once, with such a rapid update cycle, that some aspects will need to just meet your personal quality threshold for others to exceed the threshold. So far, nothing (except for Chapter 9) has gone much below the threshold I would hold for fanfiction, and most of it has been quite exceptional.
I look forward to whatever you have planned. Though if you want more indication than that, I'm quite hopeful that Dumbledore has a plan worked out on par with both Harry and Quirrell, and that the story maintains this good balance of humor and seriousness. I'm also looking forward to Draco's internal progress, details on other characters' growth, unanswered mysteries, and of course, more devious brilliance on the part of Voldemort. For a proper story, Harry has to lose a bit more as the stakes go up, and his uncertainty about the highest stakes must be seriously reduced at some point for a good climax. But you know how to write, and these things will come to pass; the plot seems to be progressing much more quickly now. I look forward to what Harry still has to learn, where he may still fail.
Oh, and Draco has committed to cooperate with Hermione! After embarrassing his father! This is exciting news.
| DoubleC chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Great part, very exciting.
Still wish Dumbledore to show some more class.
| ultra dragon chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
I wonder what kind of plot is going to make all wish come true.
I was also interested in your view on the death eaters, i agree on most of your points, but there were somethings that didn't really seemed right, for one it wasn't just about unity that heleped him, it was also the fear that got him so far, and the Wizarding world dependens on one wizared, Dumbledore, which also weakened them quite a bit, seeing as the believed that only Dumbledore could oppose the guy...
Oh and Harry? lol he defentliyuses his brain well, i can't wait for you to update!
| doublehelix20 chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
This? Is utterly genius. I mean, I love Harry Potter, and am perfectly willing to suspend my disbelief, but I'm a scientist and I definitely find my mind drifting into questions about the genetics of inherited magical ability, so...yes, love. I read this entire thing yesterday, and was supremely disappointed to find it's actually a WiP and I'd have to WAIT! Then again, maybe I'll get some work done today after all...
Also, adored Dean Thomas as Red 5 and the Ender's Game references. I thought about Battle School as soon as the army concepts started, and was delighted that you didn't pass up the opportunity...
| SevereWrath chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
50 Death Eaters? I'd figured there were no more than 20-30 :-)
Nice speech from Voldemort.
And nice point from Harry. I didn't see that coming, and I should have.
| Jarno chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Yes and no, the deatheaters greatest strength wasn't their unity, it was fear of the unknown. The same fear the Nazi government used as well as Stalin. People did not known who the deatheaters were. They did not know how many deatheaters there were. I believe it is said in the GoF
"your own brother could be a deatheater and you would not know" Now this does generate distrust which was another weapon but also meant that people did not know who to fight against.
Never, even during Harry's time, did Voldemort ever launch a major attack. It were guerrilla attacks through and through. They would attack a home, occupied by maybe 5 people, and disapparate before people could react.
So for the average person, they were fighting against a shadow amongst them.
In truth, the best war that would explain it would be the Vietnam war. The USA, like magical Britain, had greater numbers but would be a conventional army. Their opponent however, would attack and dissapear. The USA army also had no way to know who was vietcong and who was a normal citizen.
And that is the strength the deatheaters have.
| Gogolu chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
| AngelForm chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Some very, very good points in this.
Although I thought there were more than fifty death eaters.
I dread to think what you could possibly do to complete all three wishes.
Just a thought but none of them specified a date… could be important that.
| Windflight chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
That's really clever of Blaise to tie them all.
Since Hermione and Draco are teaming up, Harry needs to get 1/4 of their army to defect to even up the armies. I wonder if he's planning to do that, or is just going to use some devious plot.
I loved the Ender's Game references throughout the battles!
| MiiRsEnd chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
With one plot? I am intrigued. I am still loving the story and the marvellous update rate. Thank you.
| HakumeiJin chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Well it was quite an interesting chapter. I understand why Draco did what he did everything considered and it fits but Hermione favoring her own house while working with her army seems weird for her and with their plan the 2 wishes are pretty bad and would have been even worse if it wasn't for Harry making a wish that makes everyone rage.
Next war will definitely be interesting considering the situation. Draco and Hermione didn't seem to realise the danger of what they did and then went on to make things worse with their wishes. People don't always do what seems to be best but instead what they want Slytherin are likely the most probable to betray, Harry is also Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff and Gryfindor have been shown that their general chose their house instead of their army. With the announcements Draco and Hermione might think they were stopping the traitors but now with Harry allowing it comes down to this: Chaos soldiers can't betray even if they were going to but others can still join Harry. And as Harry said those aren't likely to be able to work together so people might just see that the alliance will fail anyways and join Harry instead of working with the other army especially since same as the other battles one of them might simply attack the other army in mid fight and with each betrayer others will lose even more confidence.
Also I wonder what the method might be. If it was just the first two Quirrell might have done a Slytherin wins but wait I said I wouldn't give points unfairly but now I'll add House Points according to Quirrell points and let Ravenclaw win. With Harry's wish it's gotta start with the snitch removal or something that can leas to it but I can't figure out what.
| ShardPhoenix chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
(Particularly) excellent chapter. My only slight objection is that the trio probably wouldn't argue quite so personally with each other on stage, preferring to save most recriminations for later.
| Heidinanookie chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
lol, I was afraid Harry would ask for world dominion :D His request about the Snitch is really rather tame and, frankly, perfectly sensible.
Still, I wonder what his first wish said. Are you going to enlighten us?
Besides, I'm still confused, this time about the content of the speeches... I think I was able to follow Quirrel, but Harry... just... what?
And who won the game, anyway? Why would Quirrel suddenly grant all wishes at once (more or less) and not just the one from the winning army general?
| SlickRCBD chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
While I agree with Harry's reasoning about the Snitch, eliminating it would probably be too radical a change. On the other hand, changing the point value of the snitch from 150 points to 50 might make it far less unbalancing.
| cheekylildevil chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Don't bow down to those demanding more, instead let yourself work more, and avoid letting those like me who have tried to be patient, down. I didn't dislike this chapter, but it was a bit of a let down.
| Reader chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Knew it! Blaise totally made it a tie! But still have to say, taht was a real suspenseful lead up to it all. I find it fascinating how you are using contrasting thinking styles and ideas clearly. Shows a very adaptable mind. Looking forward to more soon and really want to know what's up with Quirrell.
| Starlight Chibi-chan chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
hahahahaha. perhaps slytherin and ravenclaw will tie for the house cup...?
i want to know what harry's original wish was!
| Arkh Cthuul chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Ookey...now that is some evil evil cliffhanger. lets just hope you really manage to get the next chapter up today...
As for the chapter itself: Funny and with interesting potential.
| badkidoh chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Another great chapter.
I wonder will there be some more harry/hermione romance later?
| VN chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
...and double "but": "but this time she had done the work with the dreadful feeling of digging her own grave. But Minerva was feeling a little better now"
| VN chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
Word duplication: "occasions when she had the occasion"
| Nargus chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
ROFL. I love how you have Harry go through all that grand speech just so he could remove Snitch from the Quittish game XD
| phoebe turner chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
i loved it!
| CurrentlyIncognito chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
I wonder what Harry's wish was. What withdrawal symptoms? *bites nails whilst staring at screen, waiting for next chapter update*
| Sinai chapter 33 . 8/1/2010
I daresay you could argue that the speech forewarning the dangers of the muggle-world could be a metaphor for this story as a whole. Writing HP fiction to get your message across is surely as insidious as any speech to schoolchildren.
| Chanel chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
I am really enjoying this story! I like the references to science, logic, and science fiction. Great work!
| ilikebluepineapples chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
ALSO. I like how Harry keeps pounding in the "question your unknown knowns" point to everyone. He is so PERSISTENT. But it gives me hope that he won't end up turning Dark after all :)
| wowow chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
wow, now its draco-hermione vs harry. cool!
what kind of game did quirell playing at, giving that speech of unity against common enemy/dark lord? isnt he the dark lord himself? hmmm, there's something, plots i cant quite catch. woow wooow, i cant wait till quirell show his true color. YAAY!
Another great job done, Less Wrong!
| ilikebluepineapples chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Dumbledore is bad ass. So is Harry, for making such an awesome wish. And you are very good at writing powerful speeches, have you had practice?
This chapter is short but sweet. It is one of my favorites, even if I can't pinpoint why. Can't wait for tomorrow's update! As early as possible please.
| witowsmp chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
I totally agree with Harry about the Snitch. Unless one team is so severely outmatched that the scores are over 150 points apart, then the rest of the game is irrelevant - just something for the fans to watch until the Seekers spot the Snitch.
| specter626 chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
wow that was great, hope the next chapter is up soon
| Nongarak chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
I liked that. Immensely. What a fucking bad ass. His speech! Wowwww. Also, I can't wait to see how this happens. And how fast Harry gets lynched.
| ejhawman chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Did you decide the winner when you started writing the battle, or just give everyone what they wanted/expected? I don't mind that everything got tied up; to me, every possible outcome had been done to death. What matters is getting to the ceremony and seeing the rewards and the analysis of the whole exercise.
Strangely, not many stories seem to estimate how well Voldy was doing when Harry changed the game on him on Halloween '81. We only have Quirrlemort's say-so that he was winning by several lengths, but it's quite plausible, and compatible with canon.
Quirrelmort's speech about strength in unity and the need to learn the need for it is spot-on. It's a clear extrapolation from canon characterization of the wizarding world: given how backward and eccentric they seem to be, it's no surprise they were getting beaten so badly. But other reviewers have noted that he would not get away with such a speech. Lots of people in the 50's gave speeches to schoolchildren about the need to learn from the lessons of their parents' generation, but I don't think any of them would have considered couching it in terms of calling their parents, or those of their generation, idiots.
Harry's counter-point about the need to beware excessive zeal in ensuring loyalty is also well-taken, and it seems natural for Harry to make the point, if only just to be seen to oppose Quirrel. He values his independence, and wants to be seen showing up the adults around him.
Leveraging his wish into changing Quidditch: not a bad idea, it can at least be tried as an experiment, but it has also been noted that he has less standing than in canon for calling for such an experiment.
emanon: I would have had it as: "... and ever regret the day that Harry Potter was born -"
Overall, we may see the seeding of issues to be dealt with in more concrete terms later.
Judging by the pace of reviews, you might challenge Lionheart's records. Not that anyone is counting...
| wisecurledqueen chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Thanks so much for the update. I smiled when I saw it. Your implications about sides and Dumbledore are frightning- Great Job. Continue please, because I swear that This Is Awesome. And helping me win arguments against friends and family with logic. ;)
| firedraygon chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Hahahaha, using the whole spy thing as an analogy/segue into Harry's wish is just genius! And I love how the riot happened because of quidditch. This is such a fantastic fic. Please write more soon!
| Syithe chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
THIS is what I love this story for. The intelligence, and thought behind actions. Looking at different characters arguing and knowing that there is no absolute right answer, but that there are many wrong answers. Great chapter!
| Curly chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
More scene-setting please. With a week between chapters, it's easy to forget where the action's taking place.
By the way, I think your biggest weakness as a writer is your difficulty keeping track of your characters' emotional states during conversations. They usually act in ways which are consistent with their personalities, but aren't consistent with the way they acted moments before. They go from gasping in shock to smiling dryly to fuming with rage in the space of a minute. It's odd.
| Matt chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Am I just dumb? As far as I can tell, the last chapter ended with a cliffhanger (Hermionie winning, what's Zabini going to do) and now this chapter seems to have nothing to do with that. Somehow Harry and Draco caught up and we never find out what Zabini did? What?
Seriously, I love this story but it just doesn't make sense right now. I hope you edit this chapter to make it clear what's going on soon.
| HazelWolf chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
There are no words to describe how much I adore this story.
| Predicted Anomie chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
In canon, Hermione is the biggest supporter of House Unity than perhaps any other character sans Dumbledore and certain professors, and there's really nothing about this Hermione that would make me think she would spend her one wish on her House winning the Cup. Ravenclaw has the best chance of winning the Cup anyway with the two smartest students in the school (plus the whole "Boy Who Lived being a magnet for points) thing ANYWAY, so I really don't believe that Hermione would have spent her wish like that. I know you were going for the whole "omg they're not so different after all!111!" After School Special Lesson, but it falls flat.
Likewise I don't think that Harry's wish would fly. Maybe I've forgotten something, but it seems way, way outside the bounds of a mere Defense Professor to change how the iconic sport of the wizarding world is played. Some of the students have their eyes on playing professionally, and if Hogwarts all of a sudden decides to stop playing that way, that will of course piss off a lot of people and I don't believe Dumbledore, or Madam Hooch for that matter would let that fly. With every scene Quirrel is in, he is going over the top with his proposed badassery and it is just not believable. If Harry was a Seeker that year as in canon, it might have flew but as it stands there, it is just unbelievable for that wish to fly, especially from someone who doesn't even play the sport.
Which brings us to his little speech here. There is no way in hell anyone who said that would be allowed to keep their job, no matter how good of a teacher they were. He is essentially telling a bunch of children with dead parents that they died in vain and they were idiots-there is no way that would fly anywhere, no matter how "badass" Quirrel is supposed to be. Way earlier in the fic, Harry makes uncouth jokes about dying friends and McGonagall explodes at him, and here everybody's idol, Quirrel does worse, blatantly, and he gets a slap on the wrist.
If Harry continues on his hero-worshiping adoration for him after that little show, I'll be disappointed.
| Dur'id the Druid chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Great chapter again! But why did you have to wait half-way through the chapter before telling us that Blaise Zabini shot himself in the previous chapter. And when you did, it was so passing I nearly missed it.
| Rigal chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
GREAT! Please tell us what harry wished for :)
| fontgoddess chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Thinking about the epic battle and Quirrel's lesson afterward, I wonder why the battle system doesn't reward taking captives/hostages/POWs. I guess that dealing with people in the magic paintball tournament is easier when you just render casualties unconscious, but it seems that system is pretty simplistic when compared to a real-world battle. Especially when you are thinking of a war with an enemy who does not want to rule over a giant heap of ash, or at least one side who doesn't want to totally massacre the opposition. Yes, killing is a simple and effective tool in battle, but it's not the only choice and it is not always the best choice. [Now I'm wondering what a magical version of a war against insurgents and terrorists would be like. Wow, that would probably suck, possibly more than the mundane version.]
I also wonder about the students learning more than war tactics and rather rudimentary spells … surely Defense Against the Dark Arts or Battle Magic classes would have all sorts of handy spells for improving your chances in a war and making things harder for your enemies. It seems like a course at a magic school should involve magical methods (beyond using magic to substitute for paintball gear). Might there be tactical spells beyond things that are just magical versions of weapons or shields? Maybe these tactical spells could illustrate certain methods of rationality (analogous to computer-assisted methods, perhaps)?
But, um, yeah. The stuff I'm still looking forward to: more of Harry and Hermione's research; Draco's progress in his science curriculum; more about Harry's Occlumency lessons and mysterious dark side; more with Harry's transfiguration projects and his father's rock; follow-up with McGonagall; follow-up with Snape; more with Neville and more with the Weasley twins; and possible follow-up on the bully storyline (there's a mini-LeStrange wandering about in this story, and he seems too interesting to be just an aside). Plus I want to know more about what this version of Dumbledore is up to.
The war-focused chapters of this story have been interesting and intense, but maybe now is a good time for a little bit of something lighter to offset the sense of hovering doom (McGonagall isn't the only one feeling it, and I don't think the riot was anywhere close to how bad things will get). There must be some whimsical and fun bit of magic that Harry can come across before going home for Christmas break.
I found it interesting that Quirrel is revealing more of his beliefs. It's interesting how he puts so much stock in authoritarianism. We saw a bit of this with his being strongly in favor of carefully-kept magical secrets. It was interesting that Harry was so in favor of the idea spreading to science, even though he himself is the beneficiary of scientific knowledge being quite open and democratically accessible. This Harry seems like too much of a fan of libraries and objective scientific reality to truly believe in a world that can and should closely guard "dangerous" knowledge, especially when almost all knowledge is dangerous depending on its use and misuse.
| farwalker chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
that was completely mindbending.
What was Harry's original wish?
| Blip chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Harry's first wish? I bet it was to have as many wishes as he wants...
| Vermithrx chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
I anticipate that the wish Professor Quirrel burned was to destroy Azkaban, and this is what he intends to discuss with Harry in the next chapter.
Right or wrong, I look forward to it.
| mentalkid chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Wow, Harry's first wish must've been hardcore...
| Slicerness chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
i'm assuming he's going to make it so the house cup is decided by a game of snitch-less quidditch. or just announce a game of new quidditch and break the house cup in half during the halftime show... (they have those during quidditch right?)
| DigiEmissary chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
The parallels between this chapter and the foreign affairs events and policies of the past 10 years are striking. Well done.
| emanon chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Great teaser. Looking forward to more tomorrow. Oh, I think the word "ever" is in the wrong place in the following sentence. I could be wrong though; you may have intended it this way.
...and regret the day that ever Harry Potter was born -"
...and regret the day that Harry Potter was ever born -"
| Majin Hentai X chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
I thought Harry was going to let thew snitch thing go. Oh well at least he didn't waste his wish on something as trivial as the house cup. now lets begin the next arc of the story I'm interested in what you come up with.
Hobey Ho lets go.
| Tiky3000 chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
I need a new word to describe the pure win that is this story. In 5 years of reading fanfiction I've read thousands of Harry Potter stories, of which I deemed about a hundred good enough to bookmark. But this is just in it's own league. I wish I could give a critical review, but every sentence it's just honey to my eyes.
| tatewaki2000 chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
I like Harry's wish.
| fancymanX chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Wow that was really good. I agree with Harry's position more. Top-down coordination results in more brittleness than random chaotic struggle. For example if the Minister of Magic is Imperiused, the whole government essentially falls to the new dark lord. That is why the Order of the Phoenix was more effective than the government at fighting Voldy, and why Dumbledore beat Grindlewald himself.
| yamiishot chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Oooh now I want to know what the first wish from Harry was
| Phoenix Flight chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Wow. You're creating a rather more interesting Hogwarts than the one JK made.
| anon chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Ok, I don't know if my whining factored into getting you to post, but in any case, I'm glad. I might be able to manage without withdrawal symptoms all the way until, uh, tomorrow.
This chapter was _GOOD_!
| Shining Ducky chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Not another cliffhanger.
I was lucky and checked if this very story was updated before I went to bed. But now there's an evil cliffhanger I must suffer for an extra day! Woe is me.
But that just shows I care about this story a lot :3
Very nice long setup with the Quidditch wish.
Also, Harry's wish. Poor Harry. He needs some cookies.
Where're the Author's Notes? Hm, maybe there'll be along soon and I'm too early.
Oh wait, I see. Maybe you should edit your Author's Notes to inculde that.
May your writing be fun and fruitful.
| Bill4728 chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Thanks for the great story And thank you for the great birthday present.
Oddly Harry & I share the same Birthday.
| Guest chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
Excellent work, as ALWAYS!
| Hedi Dracona chapter 33 . 7/31/2010
This chapter was glorious.