something like 30 seconds had passed then?

WTF

What the absolute fuck just happened. I'm not sure if I would know if I had read the source material (the books and not just the movies) but wow. Good chapter

Holy fuck...

U can tell the author is a holier than thou typa person on a high horse just the way he writes abt certain things like afterlife and muggles

I'm very confused. Is Quirrell on Voldemort's side this go, or not?

*shudders*
that was genuinely terrifying.

I’ve read this story many times, and somehow I don’t remember noticing this little gem of a line when describing the class on the Patronus charm:

“Cookies and lemonade were also considered helpful.”

It makes me wonder if there’s a formal list of “things that instructors may find helpful to have on hand” for teaching this spell.

1. Cookies and lemonade
2. A pat on the head
3. Cake/Pie
4. Letters from home
5. Kittens and Puppies
6. A warm hug

Oooooooh oh my goodness

Small changes in the cannon, a new and interesting story.

I wonder what it is with the very stupid people in the comments/reviews who are unable to infer that the reason harry thought badly of his parents was because of the dementor? How very sad, to have such small minds as to be unable to comprehend this obvious fact.

Why are Pettigrew and Black presented as gay? Why is Dumbledore mad and why are almost all the character ridiculously out of character.

Not bashing , I like the story but its weird to see the characters presented in a way theyre not originally(and unbelievably)

Well, that happened.

Every time you mention memories or dementors or related stuff I get excited, because I'm convinced Canon Harry lost his memory and was reborn as Harry James Potter Evans Verres.

Now, this is exciting. Worrying but exciting. Who is the mastermind behind this attack on Harry, and what exactly did they do?

What! No! Nonononono NOOOOOOOOOOO! What happened? What- this entire parallel universe is corrupted with evil and hate and let me tell you I have mind to swear more than the original draft of Ron Weasley.

Dementor's Kiss:

Were i you, I would likely not see this review, nor subscribe to it. Especially since I don't intend to leave another and since this comes a third of the way through and not at the end. That said, I just discovered this story and was taken back to a time when I was eleven and first began reading this series. I commend you for making me forget myself. You have true gifts. I say gifts because it is clear to me that writing is not your primary one, regardless of your creativity and ability to incisively critique phenomena while simultaneously representing such skills through fanfiction. I confess that I do not understand the state of being people claim is happiness. Yet, I was elated to discover that a towering intellect had deigned to lend its time and energy to sussing out the deeper mysteries of magic in the HP verse.

I had assumed that you were coming at this project as a fan. That you were, as you said, creating and developing a parallel universe and representing a possible alternative to the characters should certain underlying factors be changed. I assumed this, but my mistake was believing that you would change facts, but that you would allow the essential "selves" of the characters to be unchanged. You managed to suspend my disbelief and allow me to believe that this work was merely one of myriad branches in a line, a realistic deviation from the "Truth" that the true series represents, or at the very least, hopes to. I put that word in quotes because I'm relatively certain of your opinion on empiricism, and on the existence of non-existence of any essential truths.

Pure logic is a function that machines are /may one day be fully capable of. Yet I will assert until proven otherwise that capacity alone does not even come close to representing the breadth of our cognitive ability as Homo sapiens sapiens. I believe that "Truth" is as inaccessible as God. If we were able to access and parse such mysteries the state of humanity would be so alien as to not be called humanity at all and would nullify its purpose.

My opinion is of little consequence, but I must tell you that I don't consider you a fan of this series in true spirit. I consider you brilliant, but you have perverted the core of Harry Potter as a series so much that I can't call this AU, or PU. It comes across to me as an excessive display of tactlessness. This is mere fanfiction. That is not as much of an insult as it sounds, I assure you. You, I have little doubt, are infinitely more capable intellectually than I am, and your intellect almost certainly eclipses the original author's, whose capacities also exceed mine. But, you have not even a modicum of the SOUL that comes through in Rowling's work. She is better than you at writing a novel. This could be due to your relative inexperience if you do not have published works to rival her record. It's still true, again, in my opinion. Your treatment of the Potters is actually a betrayal of the essential core of HP. It's not an AU, or a PU, it is you believing you can do better than the original author by browbeating the reader with your capacity to engage in higher order thinking and shoehorning your worldview (not taken from any one character but from the character of the writing itself) into someone else's creative universe without putting an equivalent amount of effort in creating your own, or at least that is how it has come across to me. With as much certitude as a person who does not know who you are can muster, you demonstrate a lack of the creative capacity to create such a world yourself and cause it to be engaging to the general public. If you had such a drive, you neednt have so drastically changed Harry's relationship to his martyred parents. You should have instead done the work of creating your own universe to explore these concepts in. It may have sold. I would have bought it. If not, you could have at least not used JKR's characters to write this story if you were going to corrupt them in this way. I am talking about Lily.

The scene with Harry and the dementor was sad. But, it was not sad because of any in-story reason. The story you were telling became irrelevant to me at that point. I was not in the story. Instead, I was considering you and not your work. Not re-considering. Considering. His relationship with James and Lily was sacred, and that alteration was straight up perverse. I will submit that "any true fan will agree with me". Many won't because of your obvious talent. Some will because to them and to me it is an unpardonable rejection of your source material. It is as if you had Frodo denounce Gandalf's apparent sacrifice, in-story, as foolish and also had Aragorn take the ring from him and use it for "good" instead of destroying it and calling Arwyn an idiot for giving up the chance to live forever and leaving her because she had proven herself to not be his intellectual equal.

You, and others, may or many not believe me but I am not writing this to be negative. I am writing this because my reaction was so viceral I could not wait to review until I had finished reading all of the chapters as I had intended. There is a concept that I am quite certain you are aware of and have doubtless studied extensively. Emotional intelligence. It is not entirely logical nor illogical. It also has nothing to do with how you have written the characters and their emotional interactions. It has to do with your relationship to the source material and to others who have read it. That form of intelligence appears to be lacking in this work.

If your intent in using Harry Potter was to expose to the audience those subjects which you believe are consequential you have more than succeeded. I will endeavor to familiarize myself with all of the works and concepts you have presented, and do intend to finish reading this story. I will likely read it again and again until I have learned all that I can. However, know (for all this is worth) that while you are undeniably incredibly intelligent and what you have done here is nothing short of remarkable, this does not feel like the work of a fan. This fan can now only enjoy the knowledge you present, and must divorce himself from the story and treat this as a treatise on "how magic could work in a fictional setting" instead of a work of fiction. The goal of fanfiction should not come across as merely being an attempt to show up the original author nor to demonstrate the depth of ones technical ability or theoretical faculties within the setting. It should be to engage the reader as a fan as well. In that respect, I can give you no encomiums regardless of how impressed I am with you as an individual. I would avidly consume any original work you might produce. Never again fanfiction, because I cannot trust that you will have basic respect for the canvas of your creativity. For a fanfiction author, and a work of fanfiction, that is the dementor's kiss.

Ruh-roh. That doesn't bode well.

I really don't understand Riddle, if it's Riddle who controls Quirrell! He just saved Harry, telling everybody about the wand!

Poor Harry! He can now remember what happened then! :(

Another powerful chapter. I love your description of dementors; they should be terrifying, not just monstrous as they are in the books.

I can't decide if I adore or abhor this story. There are times I love it beyond most reason because of the originality. And then there are times that the amount of scientific theory and explanations are the perfect combination to bore me to sleep. Either way... I'm still reading.

Oh, well, dark.

What the actual fuck?!

I'm crying inside..

Oh no ... no no no no no ... :s

Oh. Crap.

Whoa! Powerful chapter!

Some powerful imagery. Was Harry's nightmarish memory inspired at all by the end of Urasawa's Monster?

Oh my goodness. So intense!

Why is it shameful to be unhappy?

Wow.
This is intense.

This was an amazing chapter. You made the horror of the Dementor something to be truly feared with your words.

Who's brilliant idea was it to let things as evil as dementors exist? cant the ministry exersise their control over them to make them go fly into a volcano or something?

During his reading, Harry had discovered with considerable horror that some books claimed the Dementor's Kiss would eat your soul and that this was the reason for the permanent mindless coma into which it put the victims. And that wizards who believed this had deliberately used the Dementor's Kiss to execute criminals. It was a certainty that some called criminals were innocent, and even if they weren't, destroying their souls? If Harry had believed in souls, he would have... drawn a blank, he just couldn't think of an appropriate response to that.)

Oh, Merlin!

This version of Harry should die - he is extremely annoying (and stupid) to think that his father was being confident at all. James knew he was going to die either way - so he allowed his wife to escape and with his last act made sure to remind Voldemort of their defiance. If that cannot convince Harry of his father's love, bravery and stubborness then nothing will. I just wish this Harry will grow up and stop being so critical of everything The wizarding world is not perfect - get over it!

I have been reading this story up to here on and I thought it was high time that I should leave a note saying how much I enjoy it and THANK YOU SOOOOOOOO MUCH FOR ALL THE EFFORT YOU PUT IN! This really is amazing!

Funny how this Harry seems even more unhappy than cannon Harry...

Wow, this is really intense.
What everyone saw under the cloak as opposed to what Harry saw was interesting, and there was a feeling of panic throughout it too. Especially regarding how long someone had been under the patronus' influence.

I find the ending line especially horrifying, and hope Harry is safe.

Also, the memory of Harry's parents being murdered by Voldemort was very well written. It is good to put it in this chapter seeing as in the original, Harry obtained that memory from exposure to the dementers. I like how it kept the same dialogue from the book, but different description and tone, it corresponded with Harry's state of mind really well, so congratz :D

With all the mounting evidence of ghosts, Horcruxes, the Veil, the Resurrection Stone, and the Dementor's Kiss, is Harry just being willfully blind at this point not to accept at least the possibility of a soul? His arguments against these things are either shitty or nonexistent. Is this one of those cases that's meant to show Harry isn't all-knowing?

Really? Nobody noticed? Hermione was about to go and ask the Dementor about who planned this and only then Quirrell said anything about the wand.

Oh my god! The most exceptionally suspenseful chapter yet! So brilliant!

This was nuts! Amazing chapter, and what a cliffie! It makes sense that the wand was the link that was continuing to cause Harry to be fodder for the dementor. Crazy that they didn't notice it till it was almost too late!
P.S. Random: I really like Auror Komodo.

looked at the difference in maturity between a fourth-year in Hogwarts and a fourteen-year-old Muggle, it was clear that Muggles were smothering their children

disagree. to me it is clear it is the other way around. how many ways of healing is there? protections? is not that in limited variety in the muggle world?

Hmm. Originaly Dumbledore allowing Quirrel to teach the killing curse made sense. After all, there are indeed other curses that work just as well. But with the new information from chapter 86, it suddenly feels strange and out of place. If the killing curse takes wanting someone dead for the sake of that person being dead to cast and just keeps going until it hits something, teaching it to students would be rather out of character for Dumbledore. (provided that I understand the character) If you didn't think about the killing curse's casting conditions and effect before you wrote this chapter maybe you should edit this part out. (Or this was intentional and I'm missing something)

Oh snapples

That's totally different from the original where Lily's willingness to sacrifice her life for her child was the thing that protected Harry.

Cannot. Stop. Reading. It's 3:15 in the morning, and I place the blame solely at your feet. On a brighter note I have a substantial list of things to research/books to read etc. Oh! and just to keep in the spirit of things, I feel compelled to say, "Holy shit."

Wow, you have given a presentation of what dementors could be far surpassing what I have ever encountered before and probably will ever again.

I have read the sentence ''And the Dementor smashed into his mind like the fist of God.'' Ten times in a row the first time I encountered it, because I was amazed at the scene, in awe of how it was sucking me in along with Harry, and of how well the celestial realm was brought into the dance.

Wow.

I have noticed you have been getting more into personal, cosmological and philosophical considerations in the last few chapters. (Rather than into crackish, comic, surreal crazy-smart plans and games). Any specific readings in RL set you on that tangent? I'm curious.

This chapter was great, and you managed to make the dementors far more terrifying that Rowling ever managed across any of the books. The raw emotional impact of having all happiness torn out should come across to the reader, and that effect was achieved marvelously well here. It also helps that Harry's severe reaction is quite traumatic so empathizing with him gives us a hint at the horror of a dementor's power.

I also got the sense that there was a lot going on under the surface here, that each of the players had underlying motives and thoughts that were merely hinted at. Since we only get to know Harry's thoughts, I can merely guess at these motives, but I'm sure they'll become clearer through actions as the story continues, if not explicit revelation by the author.

Once again, the dramatic tension was acute and real, and its hard to tear yourself away from the page once you start reading it. A top notch chapter.

I loved Peregrine falcons, too, when I was Harry's age.

DUUUUUUUDDDEEEEE ! I got to the Sirus/Peter bit and literally shuddered. I actually love your writting, its scary, challenges my mind, challenges my knowledge of HP (which is vast if i say so myself) but i cant help but love it. do you have any original work ? because if you do i would loveeeee to read some.

"You're annoying. You should die."

That was awesomely well-written, as I have come to expect from you.

I have run out of complimentary adjectives.

that was cold..

truly truly cold...

And I am not sure if I am talking about you or if I am talking about the boy..

I relate too much to him. He is not happy...he is not evil..

Even knowing this..I can help but get angry..

And for all of my rambling above...you are an exceptional writer

Wait, why is Quirrel teaching one of the frickin' unforgivable curses to first years? Why on earth is dumbledore accepting it too! I mean sure, its Quirrel's style, and Dumbledore just lost a bet but still! Use of the unforgivable curses warrants a life sentence in Azkaban! Sure, I'm assuming that only really extends to if you cast that on humans (which is in itself a slippery slope, so if you imperius a bear and have it maul someone to death... you probably would get away with it unless someone knows bear legilimency...)

BUT ITS THE BLOODY KILLING CURSE! My goodness that is just crazy. That's like teaching school kids how to shank someone and telling them to pinkie swear promise to never use it on other people.

You really don't want us know whose side Quirrell is on, do you?

talk about a cliff hanger !

In reply to Taure's review:

Taure

2011-08-26 . chapter 73

"Eagerly anticipating your rape at the hands of Warner Brothers' lawyers.

At the very least, the story will be deleted by ."

Jo Rowling's Lawyers wouldn't have a leg to stand on, and they'd know that within five minutes of looking at this because unlike you they live in the real world and have real careers instead of being a 22 year old philosophy student (manchild) who hopes he might one day be able to write a sub-Eragon fantasy novel. Mummy and daddy getting a bit bored of your sponging? Don't worry I'm sure they read Harry Potter and the Lords of Magic religiously.

If you had any accomplishments to your name other than being a big shot on a Harry Potter fan fiction site, or were doing a real degree and had actual work to do, then perhaps you might not have jumped so eagerly on to this imaginary bandwagon, but then I suppose you'd also be secure enough not to be threatened by a fanfic so it's a moot point really.

Amazing how quickly you and your DLP buddies leapt into action considering that you profess to hate this fic and not to read it. Of course the truth is that you're the online equivalent of a curtain twitcher - you stand on an imaginary moral high ground claiming superiority while feverishly watching all of the fun that you're not having.

At least you'll have one consolation- this fic gets reviews so quickly that in two weeks time when it's still up going strong and even Planet Taure has realized what an embarrassment your review is, it will be buried so many pages back that no one will see it.

I can't edit my last review (or can I? Not sure if allows that and too lazy to figure it out), but I'm starting to think (after reading another review of that chapter) that it was the Animagi secret that Sirius would have wanted to hide since that makes so much more sense that I can't believe I didn't think of that and Lupin just went with the lover thing lol. Or I hope so anyway because omg, Sirius/Peter. (Although also kind of insulting how there were so many reviews that hated it because Peter was not portrayed as being very attractive as though love is only acceptable when it is between attractive people- although admittedly the media and our culture pretty much says that as well but it is still annoying to read people say that since I'd think it was unreasonable given that Sirius seemed a bit mean towards Peter even when they were friends in OotP.)

Also are gay relationships more accepted in the wizard world? (Not sure if that is just your fanfiction or that was said someone in the canon/interviews/etc). Since Dumbledore wasn't exactly open in the sense that everyone really knew and there weren't any other LGBT characters that I recall, so it doesn't actually seem like a more accepting society to me.

Also kind of weird though that those girls would be sexualizing other 11 year olds since it's unlikely they are really that attractive/sexy at that age. (I suppose you could argue that people actually do write fanfics about them but I would assume they would be focused on the 16/17 Harry and Draco instead of their young selves).

Anyway, for this chapter:

"I am allowed to teach the Killing Curse to students who wish to learn it." - That just seems so wrong, especially since some of them are so young that they shouldn't be able to use it anyway. Plus using it should send someone to Azkaban, so how would they learn it really? (I suppose on animals, but that is just super sad too).

Interesting interpretation of Dementors (since I always thought everyone would see the same thing since they were creatures with a specific form, not like a Boggart), not sure if that is your creation but I assume so since I never heard that before. Also wow, Harry is so terrible sometimes. His parents were dying and doing anything to save his life and he thinks of them as failures? Also weird that you made Lily attempt to kill Voldemort, not sure why you made that change as well. So many changes, it drives me crazy at times since you keep changing so many significant plot points.

Interesting chapter overall, can't wait to see what happens next :3

Also Fawkes is so awesome! /random but I love when Fawkes appears~

Why does Hermione think her patronus charm will be an otter? It originally was an otter because of Ron.. The Burrow's located in the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole, I don't think it can get more obvious than that.

Wow. So, now that Harry is soulless, he's a sociopath?

I think a Patronous can be created using a different kind of memory rather than a happy one. The only practical purpose a happy memory would have would be to defend against a dementor. Say you have a truly horrific memory of true terror and you use it to manifest a Patronous. It might mentally cripple any sentient life form and give them nightmare after nightmare by passing the Patronous through them, using the same communications technique used with intel.

I expected harry and hermione to kiss and THAT would be both of their happy memories to combat a Dementor, but you just did something even better. So good that I may even forgive you for the Yaoi incident.

yea! harry fails and fails again... although Hermione did fail too, but that seams like it was just a setup so she could save the day

Excellent chapter! You did a good job of conveying the panicked atmosphere towards the end. I also liked Harry's "If that's a peregrine falcon, I'm going to strangle him in his sleep" in response to Anthony Goldstein's Patronus.

A couple of things occur to me on this chapter. Firstly, Harry's dark side is the bit of voldemort's soul (this is probably pretty obvious). Secondly, Voldemort might've got as dark as he did by getting demented; after all the symptoms to Harry getting attacked are very similar to what Voldemort is described as being like.

Just my two cents.

oh, no. you. didn't.

curse u.

i was GONNA go to sleep.

but now?

NO. WAY. IN. HELL.

"And the Dementor smashed into his mind like the fist of God."

Best line ever.

Great chapter. I feel so bad for Harry, though, no that people will think he's even more dark, especially considering that he discovers the true Patronus Charm.

I've been inspired to write some Peter/Black slash. It's more canonical than MoR-ical, since I can't tell if the Marauders became Animagi or not in this world, but oh well. Chapter One up.

Wonderful! Your storytelling is top notch!

Oh holy sh*t. Seriously scary.

Pairing Peter up with anyone is just wrong. I gain him as in the movies and the words Peter and lover in the context of hogweeds sent me some disgusting mental images...

Love your story which makes me feel as if my iq test will probably show less tha. 30 compared to Harry. Im 16 and I only now learnt about logarithms...

Your writing lacks a certain sophistication which all the knowledge you bestow upon us makes up for it 20x

Aaaargh, that turned out to be scarier than I expected... stupidly I thought Harry would manage at the last moment.

"I bet you can do it and I can't," Harry said in a whisper. "I bet that's what happens."

I knew a Hermione at school. We had a short story competition, and we both entered. A few weeks later, there was a note in the register that I was to attend lower school assembly that day – the day that a super-special-not-really-celebrity guest was turning up to give out the prizes. I said to my friend, “I don't mind if I'm second, as long as Hermione's not first.” Luckily for me, although I was second , Hermione wasn't first.

Hermione also cried when I did better than her in maths, so I'm not entirely ashamed of this thought :)

'Harry didn't believe in angst, he couldn't stand reading about whiny heroes, he knew a billion other people in the world would have given anything to trade places with him, and... '

Thank god for a wangst-free Harry :)

Hermione's otter... it's just occurred to me there was a book I read when I was young called The Otter Who Wanted To Know.

'But she could be temporarily Demented, as Harry realized in that moment, there wasn't any rule that you couldn't be temporarily injured by a Dementor in just ten seconds if you were sensitive enough. '

She failed her san roll. I'm not sure how many times you have to pass your Dementor san roll to be desensitized, but I'm guessing it's quite a few.

'The Headmaster's voice was also calm. "The Dementors are creatures of fear, and as your fear of the Dementor diminishes, so does the fearsomeness of its form."'

Dumbledore, surprisingly, seems to have passed all his san checks. Or he's already insane and is secretly a cultist :)

Great chapter

Excellent chapter

All four Humanism chapters were great in their own ways, and other reviewers have already talked at length about the incredibly well done Dementor takedown, etc. So instead I'll comment on a the really nice bit on Godric Gryffindor not being able to cast the Patronus Charm - it added a really touching bit of history to the story and made those long-dead characters much more real. It's the kind of thing I'd love to see more of in fiction of all sorts, because it really brings a setting to life.

Your fic is very good and, somehow, doesn't make me feel guilty about reading fanfiction instead of "real books". So, thanks for sharing.

I'm very sorry that my reason to delurk it's actually one so... irrelevant? But I'm really curious. Why did you use "patronuses" instead of "patroni"? Shouldn't it be the correct plural taking into account that the spell it's supposed to be in Latin? Or was it taken as an English word and thus the plural is actually "patronuses"?

Oh, and I was under the impression that serpents didn't have, um, proper eyelids or something like that, so they couldn't blink.

Ah, reading Author Notes in your profile clear so many things up. I realize now you deleted the line where Lily realizes that she should not have offered her life to the Dark Lord if she wasn't ready to give it. When I had read that line on my first readthrough, I had thought you were saying she was selfish. On my second readthrough, when I didn't see the line again, I had thought I had imagined it and chided myself for jumping conclusions xD

Working on the Patronus charm at eleven years old. You give a good account of why age doesn't matter, per se: the Ministry's curriculum design having the charm learned much later is something of a misunderstanding of the real difficulty in learning it. Quirrelmort knows the truth and attempts to teach it as early as possible, though not expecting many to get it this year.

This brings up a more general problem: emotional spells vs. technical spells. I am convinced one of the greater differences between life in the Magical and Muggle worlds is the emotional demands of education. Muggle education demands a little emotional control to the extent of learning not to act on impulse or be ruled by anger. Magical education HARNESSES emotions for some spells, so that school performance, and so performance in life, hinges on learning to feel certain things. Some students, of course, will take offense at the idea of having to feel certain things on demand, which comes across as a lesser form of mind control. You have yet to address larger issues of free will here; there's rich grounds for exploration of the degree to which free will is compromised in the magical world.

A book on who could and couldn't do Patronus charms? A good extrapolation; books like this on similar subjects are found in Muggle bookstores all the time. The rest of the school may not dwell on why Godric Gryffindor couldn't because they haven't read this book; but Quirrel would have mentioned it in class, so they really have no excuse for their belief.

Having Hermione predict (unknowingly, of course) what it turned out to be in canon beggars belief. What does she base this on? A missed opportunity; she should have thought it was something else entirely, and been disappointed/surprised it was an otter. Or are you going to make it a different animal after all?

Subjecting students to a real Dementor: more of the magical world's cavalier attitude toward the resilience of youth. One wonders how no students were killed since 1942 - or how many students HAVE been permanently maimed or driven mad - given that instructors are allowed to try lessons like this. Precautions are taken; presumably the risk is seen as no worse than getting burned in Potions.

The prospect of destroying souls: Rowling seems to assume for story purposes a non-quantum view of the soul: it can be broken into fragments or subject to other forms of destruction. Always a chilling prospect.

Quirrelmort's reasoning: that children are LESS afraid in general. Not sure if this holds up. Children are more given to underestimating danger, yes. But when told something SHOULD inspire fear, and they have an actual AURA that inspires fear, I would expect they will be at least as susceptible to it as any adult. Adults have more courage because they have faced more fears, and know the danger isn't as bad as believed in most cases.

Hermione was sorted into Gryffindor in the books, indicating she had bravery; still, she showed less than some others. Then again, we never got to see Lavender or Parvati demonstrate bravery, either. Here, she's Ravenclaw, and has no expectation of bravery to back her up.

Now we get to why Quirrelmort would want to teach the Patronus: he wants to have the tools of Light at his disposal, as well as the methods of Darkness. One wonders what role communications security played in the War...

Good description of the Dementor as an Unspeakable/Unseeable Horror. Harry can't see anything because to him, nothing is incomprehensible.

Lily's final failure as a mother? Harry is overthinking the situation. She's terrified out of her mind, of course she can't come up with anything better to say.

Harry sees his mother's death. In the books, it's at least plausible that he did; and so it is at least plausible that he should have been able to see Thestrals in first year (though is first chance to do so was third year). You might want to address the issue of Thestrals at some point.

I've also been thinking about the multiple types of departure in this fic, as listed in an earlier Author's Note. These read as a list of all the different DIMENSIONS of departure for a story from canon. Notably, point 5 about making this an adult story encompasses points 2 and 3 about taking small ideas and running farther with them, and smoothing out problems/fixing plot holes. A children's story can include ideas simply by Rule of Cool, that is, for effect (Coolness, Horror Comedy, any effect). An adult fic has to address what the larger long-term consequences of an idea would be - if they lead to too much distress upon society, they would be better controlled, often to the extent of being apparently absent.

On to the next part...

Oh, just noticed:

Ch. 46: Reborned (NEW)

I think the link this points to is wrong. It's the old Pioneer picture.

Some others (those of the #/whatever format) also seem to point to rather more general places than they should.

'Dean Thomas roared the words like they had been written in letters of fire'

I teared up, because in that moment that I read it, and all the moments I re-read it afterward, I could see it happen, empathise with him, and that feeling stayed. So thank you for that. Out of the entire chapter, out of the entire story, that is one of the moments that will stay. ...Not that the rest of the story is forgettable, no. Definitely not.

I haven't put this on alert because I like being surprised when I return to it. But thank you for writing quickly anyway.

And the Dementor smashed into his mind like the fist of God.

Heh. I was hoping you'd go with the more idiomatic “like the fist of an angry god”. It has a nice rhythm to it.

-

OK, I have the laws of dramatic irony on my side, but I wouldn't have risked the encounter with the dementor after Hermione's panicked talk.

I probably wouldn't have placed Dumbledore's bet with Quirrel either.

I also get annoyed at classical tragedies. I dislike them because the characters recklessly cause heartache. It is avoidable but they go towards it, they aren't helpless but act like it. Thankfully this is long-form fic, and one chapter can prepare some payoff without setting the tone of the whole story.

Now THAT is taking a mysterious dark side _seriously_ in your world-building! Great twist, which like all the great ones, doesn't seem like a twist at all in retrospect.

So, Harry's fathers stone is the Philosophers stone, eh?

I'll just glom onto one minor detail here: Harry's vision of his parents' deaths. The little bit extra you added to the scene convinces me you are going to use an idea I also came up with a few years ago: that Voldemort's curse backfired because he broke a magical contract. Lily told him to kill her instead; Voldemort then killed her, sealing the contract. If he had intended to kill her anyway, she would have had nothing to offer in return for not killing Harry (legally necessary for a binding contract); similarly, if he had just said "No", or any equivalent, it wouldn't have been a valid contract. So it didn't happen everytime someone died saving another, just this once. You made his agreement to the contract explicit, rather than implicit; I can't see why you would do that unless you are intending to use this idea.

Oh, by the way, good chapter.

awesome chapter

As always a fine chapter.

However, was that a Jeepers Creepers reference there? If not, it was remarkable similar to the franchise. Still it was enjoyable to see Hermione's reaction to the Dementor.

The change to Lily is pretty brutal. All the more so that we can't just excuse it (like some of the other reviewers do) - Lily must know that her chance of defeating Voldemort in combat is so small that it requires higher mathematics to precisely describe, and that as unlikely as Voldemort is to keep his deal, it's still a far better option.

Actually, this raises a serious issue for me; how is Voldemort defeated in this universe? Lily attacking Voldemort means that him killing her is simple self-defense, so it makes no sense for there to be any protective sacrificial magic which could cause a subsequent rebound onto Voldemort. (In this connexion, ch46's obvious little 5-hiding-places-for-a-horcrux conversation further supports Voldemort-Harry theories.)

I realize you probably don't give a fuck what I think, but I am really really grateful and happy to see people with your attitude towards lgb(t?) people exist. i read the comments and, as a queer person, it hurts to see people say they'll stop reading because of a casual mention of a gay couple, or that it's so RANDOM that two people in a story of dozens could be gay. Writing slash fic, I've always known fanfiction writers have despicable attitudes towards homosexuality disguised as a dislike for slash, but I don't often see it all at once.

but more than your inclusivity, the fact that you took the time out to actually reprimand people means a lot. i'm not in the habit of thanking people for doing something that's really just basic decency but still, i appreciate it.

When Harry was send to the sidelines, because of his lack of 'happy thoughts'. I expected him to realise that maybe it was a good thing that it normally was a fifth year course. Being laughed at because you're not happy is probably one of the most cruel things school kids can do to each other. Setting up a course which promotes that when the kids are eleven years old would be foolish, unless there is a great chance that the kids need the information. So unless there is something like a dementor plague, you shouldn't give the kids a course they're unable to handle emotionally.

The whole 'permanently demented' thing, would indicate some kind of long lasting malady. However if you encounter something scary you can have nightmares about it for years. Why is Harry ignoring that, when he's contemplating ministry regulated curriculum? Even if he's completely conficed he can handle it, his opinion of his classmates, excluding a select few, is so low that he'd probably thinks they can't handle it.

Ookey... That had a promising start.

Also: 4 Chapter at once? Holy Harry, thats some stuff tor ead, and if its all as good as the second Half of this chapter then well, thank you! ;)

Man do I have a love/hate relationship with this story.

Sure, it's deeply flawed in parts of it's physics, metaphysics, and epistemology - from someone who sounds like he should know better - and suffers from "Clever Author Syndrome".

It twists canon, often brilliantly but sometimes in ways that create gaping plot holes for no reason - for example the butchered memory of Oct. 31, 1981.

Yet the narrative is excellent and gripping. Neat ideas, like a wand doubling as a feeding conduit for dementors, are like nuggets in the mud.

The humor, attitude and intelligence of the characters is a refreshing cut above the usual fanfic fare.

But agree or disagree with: plot points, McGuffins, and Chrome; this story makes one *think*.

Well done.

The line "an orangutan of solid moonlight" cracked me up. Just the thought of something as silly looking as an orangutan in tandem with the majestic and graceful image of glistening moonlight was so contradictory, I couldn't help but grin.

I feel bad for Harry. Finding out Lilly didn't love him as much as he believed must have been a blow to him. As tough and uncaring as he comes across, you also seem to write him so he is actually fragile inside. Oh dear.

I have to register my discomfort at the use of the term "placebo effect" for the *bad* results of expecting a *bad* thing. "Placebo" is Latin for "I will please".

That's cruel to Lily. She can hesitate, then decide to comply, and have him kill her before she does. Or she can realize that he's not trustworthy. Or she can comply, and have him kill her and continue anyway, because he's not trustworthy. But I don't see any excuse for turning her into a liar, except random cynicism.

ilikebluepineapples: Lily was smart enough to realize that her death would not cause Voldemort to suddenly not want to kill Harry. Nor is he the sort to keep promises no one will ever find out about.

Awesome chapters Less Wrong. :)

Cool

Your change to James and Lily's death scene was jarring, and not in the good way. James being arrogant and foolish, I get. But, well, don't you think there are subtler ways to ruin Lily's Great Sacrifice without having her be unwiliing to make it? Being ready to die for your child is hardly a rare trait, after all.

I like the touch with Harry being unable to see anything under the Dementor's hood. Very fitting.

Pure poetry, as simple as that.