Reviews for Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality
Stillness Tolls chapter 9 . 7/13
I must say, I absolutely laugh at every single acknowledgement you post on your chapters!
Cl0ud-0 chapter 9 . 7/2
well it happened the way I expected it to but it was articulated very well. The fact that by not going to Hufflepuff Harry is knowingly turning down a happier growth as a wizard in order to seek maximum potential capacity of knowledge, and that choice in and of itself makes him more suited to Ravenclaw
Cl0ud-0 chapter 9 . 7/2
Lmao that last line was obviously just you planting the seed for why Hermione won't be in Gryffindor this time around due to the conversations with Harry and the fact that she heard about the Gryffindor prefect being a dickhead. And of course the reason she isn't in Gryffindor is because Harry can only go to Ravenclaw, meaning she has to as well because she's serving as one of the main characters and probably a love interest. At least that's my "hypothesis." And I'm very excited to see if I'm correct.
walkingspring chapter 9 . 6/5
Yay! Hermione's in Ravenclaw!
Jhuffy chapter 9 . 5/19
Oh mylanta. The Weasley twins are fantastic. Harry's reaction to the cheering is great, too. I love that he's questioning the Sorting Hat. I can't wait to see what is happening.
Orangeman727 chapter 9 . 5/17
I must say, I thoroughly enjoy this story. I love the rational style you bring to the world, and how you even hold it accountable and change it as the characters change. You don't have a glorified, idolized version of the world of the story and immaturely justify harems or the underdog turning into an all-powerful badass. It is much appreciated to read a story of such depth, detail, and substance. Thank you.
ReadToLove chapter 9 . 5/7
This review is meant to be taken as constructive criticism only. The paragraph about Snape being angry and crushing the goblet makes no sense in this chapter. Though, after reading ahead (chapter11 to be precise) I have realized its significance with respect to the pertaining lyrics; I only hope that the author makes required changes in this chapter so as to not confuse the reader.
ThunderSphinx chapter 9 . 4/27
Oh but Harry, Hermione doesn't belong in Ravenclaw.
ack1308 chapter 9 . 4/6
And the Sorting Hat meets Harry Potter.

I pity it ...
WildRosa13474 chapter 9 . 3/15
'like she might mysteriously dissappear... ...and never be seen again or even remembered' that line made me laugh so hard, that's a nice reference to canon
SnuggleKitten69 chapter 9 . 3/10
Within the depths of the darkness of our minds from what dreams may come. Is this real or will Harry awaken from his dreams in his cot beneath the stairs?
enchanted nightingale chapter 9 . 2/3
Loved it!
kronoan chapter 9 . 1/27
This is wonderful, great! I'm really enjoying it! Same praise to continue for each further chapter.
Guest chapter 9 . 12/26/2016
is that song about the sorting hat the lumberjack sng if so, you are even more amazing!
Penguinjava chapter 9 . 12/9/2016
The Sally-Anne Perks line was pure genius!
ZippyTheZebra chapter 9 . 11/2/2016
I just started reading this, and I just want to say that so far this is awesome
Rambling Drabble chapter 9 . 9/19/2016
1. It'll either take a whole lifetime or never for Harry to get over ghosts? Hmm...
2. I'd forgotten that the WISEST old men come from the Orient, dterotypically speaking.
3. Didn't notice before, but Dumbledore's smile was "unwavering and freshly delighted" for each Sorting... I forget if that changes in the next chapter, but I'll keep an eye out for it.
4. Oooohhh, I love the descriptions of the Heads of Houses. Never read the original sorting, so if these are new, and even if they aren't, well done. Flitwick is respectful to all, Sprout is respectful to all but Slytherins, Snape is respectful only to Draco, and McGonagall is professionally respectful to all, and smiles at those she personally knows to be good.
5. Dirdir and Puppeteers… okay.
6. So Goyle spent a long time under the hat? Maybe he accidentally made the hat think at his speed.
7. Wow, I know two more digits of pi than Harry. Does that make me slightly smarter or slightly dumber than him? Given the context, I've got the answer. And I don't like it.
8. I can’t remember if Sally-Anne Perks is in HPMoR after the Sorting…
9. Damn, the line between referencing canon and foreshadowing blurs so many times in this fic. Those questions, man…
blood-doll-aishiteru chapter 9 . 9/15/2016
I'm so curious about what the hat will do now.
sunset oasis chapter 9 . 9/2/2016
I always love how people described Severus reaction to Harry. It's fun to read, especially when Harry isn't something Severus is expecting.
The how many digits of pi Harry and Hermione each memorized part got me laughing so hard and it really described their respective personality well. I love it.
Rebecca chapter 9 . 8/3/2016
This chapter had me on the edge of my seat because I kept expecting him to be sorted in the next line. I sometimes read ahead, but to prevent myself from doing so, I purposely hid the entire chapter until I needed to read the following line. This chapter makes me feel delighted and I am so excited to continue reading the rest of this book.

Thank you so much for creating such a wonderful piece of work.
Sincerely, someone who doesn't read for enjoyment, much. (But might do so more now)
Guest chapter 9 . 6/30/2016
Hahah love this chapter as well but again I can see that the house stereotypes are also involved. In what I have seen, hour stereotypes are actually the opposite of what they really are. For example gryfffondor are known to be brave , usually people associate bravery with stupidity and reckless behaviour for some reason, however that is not the case. Gryfffondor has Chivalry by its side, and shows that it values actions more than just "talk". Hence why Hermione, who is smart , but has distinct differences to the ordinary Ravenclaw. She is a textbook thinker, not outside of the box thinker, she likes to know stuff but more so likes to "do " Opt-out into action, she values morals over knowledge and is more ljkely to act based more on morals than knowledge. (I mean remember her punch lol)

Slytherin are cunning and resourceful but also perhaps the least flexible out of all the houses, they value traditionalism instead of modern things. Not always associated with being smart, remember Draco Malfoys friends? Those two were known to be really bad in their studies and not really clever in general in the books.
myafroatemydog chapter 9 . 6/23/2016
This was a good chapter.
Happy chapter 9 . 5/22/2016
TheLittleRoguex chapter 9 . 5/14/2016
Lovvvved it
Olivia-Starr chapter 9 . 5/10/2016
I've read this book more times
than I can count and I just now noticed the rather obvious foreshadowing. Thanks Weasley twins
gi-freakazoid chapter 9 . 5/1/2016
What's up with McGonagall being worried about Harry and Snape?

And Harry's doing everything so logically, I feel stupid that I didn't realize this as a possible course of action while (re)reading the books.
Guest chapter 9 . 3/31/2016
Very few of my base are belong to JKR, AND I shall get them back in time.
Vade retro.
InLuvWithCandy chapter 9 . 3/26/2016
Wasn't the hat suppose to only sort students (as implied in the name)?
Luvd007 chapter 9 . 2/25/2016
Again, I love this story and the unique way of looking at an awesome story, but again with the ridiculousness. After learning that professor Flitwick was half Goblin, Harry's wondering how it could happen from a biological standpoint, then he proceeds to question another student about it. Sigh. Author should have made Harry into a college level student, rather than an 11 year old. It's just not believable. No person , let alone an 11 year old (educated or no) would think along those lines at the time he is.
ScrewballBRaine chapter 9 . 2/19/2016
Oh that poor hat xD
Guest chapter 9 . 1/29/2016
My guess on the last line (which I am posting here before reading the next section): the hat thinks he has equal traits of all 4 Houses, the way canon-Harry was split betwen Slytherin & Slytherin. (I'm probably wrong... on to the next chapter)
Montara chapter 9 . 1/20/2016
Questioning the Sorting Hat :))
WatchingTheWatchman chapter 9 . 12/6/2015
At least he has his priorities straight... First learn anything he can about Voldemort, then ask about the lost magics. Though only a kid who understood AI research would think to wonder if the hat is genuinely conscious. I'm surprised he didn't ask it that as well, since if it is, knowing how it was made would solve the entire problem of AGI
Xidaer chapter 9 . 12/3/2015
Eee! You go Harry! Interrogate that sorting hat! 3 Thank you for writing!
The Anguished One chapter 9 . 11/23/2015
Hermione in Ravenclaw and Neville in Hufflepuff... I had questioned why Hermione had been placed in Gryffindor in canon. Ravenclaw suits her more, and she still could have been friends with Ron and Harry despite being in a different house. Draco is still in Slytherin, but he has a new perspective. I didn't think a single conversation would have caused him to be placed in another house, but even Harry acknowledges it could have happened.
Gothic Rain chapter 9 . 11/13/2015
Oh, this is funny.
Guest chapter 9 . 11/10/2015
No review, sorry mate.
I just wanted to pay you a complement.
This is great work, I'm as engaged and enthralled
by this writing as if it were one of my favored authors.
Are you a fulltime writer, or is this just a hobby?
You should write full time so I can buy all your books.
Not sure how you can reply to this, haven't checked out the rest of your page, cause I cant get enough of the story when I have time.
So if you're up to dropping me a line to answer a few of my meager questions, send it to
Thanks for the great read! You rock.
Oh PS. Is there anyway to get a hard copy of this? I'd pay for cost of printing and shipping, or whatever else.
Please let me know!
JumpingToaster chapter 9 . 11/10/2015
For a moment I misread as this series having 661,619 reviews. Nope. A shame.
Crack-jouchan chapter 9 . 11/8/2015
HAHAHAHA! The poor Sorting Hat! Being bombarded by question after question! Hahahahaha!

Wow, so the incident on the train caused Hermy to go to Ravenclaw, and Neville to go to Hufflepuff. Good for them; they never really seemed like Gryffindor to me. Gryffindor are supposed to be the red-shirts, if you catch my drift...
Schlotta chapter 9 . 10/26/2015
Oh my god, this made me laugh so hard! All people I know from Lithuania are significantly taller than average and I've been assured that that is the common height there.
:D :D
Absolutely love this fanfic! Great work!
Edie chatham chapter 9 . 10/20/2015
this is getting more interesting with even passing chapter..
ShadowLDrago chapter 9 . 10/14/2015
Well this should prove interesting.
Spegee chapter 9 . 10/1/2015
It's obviously about the Sorting Hat becoming self-aware, not like I read the whole fic 10 times already. It's clearly due to the fact that the Sorting Hat borrows the student's knowledge, and that Harry wondered if the hat was self-aware so the hat borrowed that knowledge and then thought about, becoming self-aware in the process, not like that answer came straight out of the next chapter or anything. Obviously, I am just a pure-hearted rationalist with ultimate skillz, not like I am from one year after the fic was finished, or a silly something like that.
Good chapter 9 . 9/30/2015
This is wher it gets really good.
P. P. P chapter 9 . 9/12/2015
Darn you and your epic plot twists and cliff-hangers!
janefanatic chapter 9 . 8/31/2015
I'm reading this for the third time now. It's still great!
Zyxis chapter 9 . 8/10/2015
I CAUGHT THAT MONTY PYTHON REFERENCE YOU SLY FOX! XD ...Welp, now that that is out of the way, I must congratulate you on another wondrous and wonderful chapter.
GoldenFalls chapter 9 . 7/29/2015
This is pretty pedantic but I figured you might want to know because you seem to be one for accuracy: I noticed that when Harry says he knows pi as 3.141592, he neglects to account for the fact that the next digit is 6 meaning if you were rounding to the millionth place the 2 would be a 3. (I'm not sure if people have pointed this out already either since there's so many reviews, so if they have sorry for being redundant,) I noticed this in chapter 9, the one about sorting. I love the story!
Cosmiln chapter 9 . 7/13/2015
It's 3.141593 ;)

I love where this is going despite the truthfully outrageous parts. Remember, the characters have to stay believable, even if the story doesn't have to!
8734287934379342879erw87952587 chapter 9 . 7/12/2015
Absolutely adoring this.

- Manny (You can find me on tumblr at asexualtomriddle.)
hakon2feb chapter 9 . 6/28/2015
Ok, so another good one.
Keep them coming, and seriously... Have noone thought about asking the hat questions in 800 years? The hat probably has more acumulated knowledge than the Hogwarts library, and quite a bit of cunning if it can make that good a rhyme each year :p
Keep up the good work :)

Monsterofthemoon chapter 9 . 5/31/2015
You know that fanfic you're addicted to and can't stop reading even if you're in the shower and some water splats on the screen making you post a review that you didn't even want to post in the first place? That's me, right here.
Monsterofthemoon chapter 9 . 5/31/2015
,p r o
Angelfirenze chapter 9 . 5/26/2015
Okay, this is my favorite part:

'And Harry would protect them again.'

I just love how non-judgmental that is, even in flux with everything else Harry's feeling at the moment, being deluged with other people's expectations and beliefs about him.
Guest chapter 9 . 5/24/2015
Regarding the magic performed by the Ravenclaw prefect here...not only is it not canon, it seems unnecessary to make it a part of your canon. Magic like that has never been seen in canon before-there is no way to impart information that you do not know yourself to someone. Otherwise, there would have been no need for Harry to run around looking for Horcruxes, when he could get any adult wizard to just magic their locations into their heads. There would've been no point to Voldemort HIDING Horcruxes to begin with if they're so easily found-he'd have to have a regiment of guards on them at all times.

You can destroy memories in canon-even create new, false memories-but you can never put into someone else's head something that was never in your own head to begin with.

Even if you say that this is a part of the Parallel Universe, it seems unnecessary to invent such a spell to me, when the Accio spell is taught in the Fourth Year, and would've done just as fine a job.

I also find the enthusiastic reaction the Wizarding World has towards your Harry very...wanky. Canon!Harry did exactly what your Harry did, and he didn't have nearly this much trouble. He had handshakes in the Leaky Cauldron, but was never harassed by passersby in Diagon Alley. He had a little bit of awe from Ron, but the entire train wasn't hunting him down to gawk at him. He never had to wrap a scarf around his face to get a moment's respite from his fans-and indeed, most of his year mates seemed to leave him alone most of the time.

You seem to have astronomically increased his recognition and fame, for not doing much more than canon!Harry at this point. So I can only assume this is a Parallel Universe where people are just more excitable.
Doctor Jackson chapter 9 . 5/21/2015
Hahaha I LOVE the interaction with the sorting hat. Brilliant
TimeyWimeyBadWolf chapter 9 . 5/16/2015
Oooh! My prediction is that he belongs in ALL of the Houses, and the Hat can't decide...
Quinn Laflin chapter 9 . 5/11/2015
And on my somewhere near fiftieth read of the beginning chapters, I JUST got the reference to Monstrous Regiment. Beautiful! It's my (newish) favourite Terry Pratchett book, having not appreciated it properly before the 3rd Wave.
Village-Mystic chapter 9 . 3/21/2015
Those are great questions - and he does have the work-ethic of a Hufflepuff. I guess that makes him good for all 4 houses?
hisnhers chapter 9 . 3/14/2015
Leave it to Harry to do what has never been done before... lol!

4everfictional chapter 9 . 3/12/2015
YES! No other word in my vocabulary (that I can think of offhand) could embody my feelings better. XD
JS chapter 9 . 3/11/2015
Much preferred the Ghostbusters version of this chapter. That's all.
Berlin chapter 9 . 3/5/2015
I feel entitled to say that this is pleasantly bamboozling.
calyss chapter 9 . 2/28/2015
Why have i not seen this before ?! I really hope this keep as good !
BludgerDust chapter 9 . 2/5/2015
Great story so far - I'm hooked! This was the first time I had anything to say about the science so I thought I would mention it, re: Harry's objection to Flitwick's ancestry
Typically a species falls under the definition of the largest group of organisms capable of producing fertile offspring, but that definition can be inadequate. Two different species could produce fertile offspring and yet be classified separately if geography, sexual preference or what have you would make them never typically attempt to reproduce together. In all cannon accounts, goblins are anthropomorphous. Since they are also by all accounts completely hidden from Muggle scrutiny, they could pretty reasonably be close cousins to humans, as well as giants (Hagrid!) and hags and whatever other species which exists only in the magical world.
Guest chapter 9 . 2/2/2015
Harry‘s inpression if the sorting hat‘s song seems to come from Monty Python- I‘m a lumberjack and I‘m okay, I sleep all night and work all day“
Niqi chapter 9 . 1/29/2015
I desperately miss the Ghostbusters theme song rewrite that used to be here. It just doesn't feel right without it. If you were going to replace it, I'd expect you to replace it with some other prank the Weasley twins had come up with, not just the bare minimum of words to have it very loosely make sense without the song. Something to look into once you've finished polishing those final chapters, maybe?
IV Legacy of Poseidon chapter 9 . 12/7/2014
humanoidpatronus chapter 9 . 12/6/2014
When I first saw that Neville went to Hufflepuff, I thought it was weird. And now,after reading all the other chapters and coming back, I feel that Hufflepuff is the best choice for Neville. This story looks like it writes itself on its own. It just flows without raising any incredulities. That is why this story has got a lot of reviews.
Camilaus chapter 9 . 11/30/2014
I cant wait to see in the next chapter if it answers his questions, those are good ones
Romance Ninja chapter 9 . 11/23/2014
I come from Lithuania... Does that mean I'm a goblin/halfbreed also...?
N. E. Person chapter 9 . 11/9/2014
Hermione as a Ravenclaw?! *Gasps*
Nevile a Hufflepuff? *GASP*
Poor sorting hat... :D
kimchi759 chapter 9 . 11/3/2014
Hmmm. He's being incredibly judgemental of all these houses based on a few people he's met. I don't find that to be very, er, for lack of a better word, scientific. He has been talking of science so much, yet your characterization of him has Harry making assumptions without repeated trials; that is, without getting to know more people, much less getting to know the people he judged in various situations. Just pointing it out.

On a side note, this mental conversation ought to be amusing.
Guest chapter 9 . 10/19/2014
SUSPENSE! Seriously, I'm afraid I'm going to start and finish this in one day. Update please! I love this fic so much so I am going to ask that because this fic is so awesome! Yeah, that was a run-on on purpose. Luv this!
MeiPhantomhive chapter 9 . 9/18/2014
Poor, poor Sorting Hat.. I'll call you Sorty.
alix33 chapter 9 . 8/27/2014
How exactly was Harry out of control after his first encounter with the ghosts of Hogwarts (as you only write how he was trying to get himself back under control)?
Why did professor McGonagall smile at those particular students?
I hope Harry keeps his wariness around Dumbles for a good long while.
Hagrid clapping along to the chant the Weasley twins started was very funny.
"Weasley Horrors", hehehe.
All very valid questions that Harry asked the Sorting Hat, who I gather from its reaction is not at all used to being asked any questions.
Talkingbirdguy chapter 9 . 8/11/2014
Oh that poor, poor hat. Whatever did it do to deserve to be put on Harry's head and peer into the depths of his mad mad little universe known only to him?
Guest chapter 9 . 8/4/2014
Is there a reason Goyle took over a minute?
thepkrmgc chapter 9 . 7/30/2014
your depiction of the sorting exceeds all expectations! its good to see houses other then gryffendor and slytheren getting characters: in cannon your house has more to do with protagonist/antagonist then anything character related
TheOneButcher chapter 9 . 7/26/2014
I liked how you had so many fanfic clichés and made the execution awesome. This fic has lost something with the Song, this scene feels forced and strange.
Noshio chapter 9 . 7/15/2014
Harry places the sorting hat on his head.
"hmm," says the sorting hat. "Very interesting."
The hall managed to get even quieter.
"HE'S DIVERGENT!" shouts the sorting hat.
Foxy-Floof chapter 9 . 7/3/2014
*evil cackling* No I have no warts, but I do have a large and bulbous nose.
*evil cackling resumes*
The Hat. I must know what it says in response/reaction to the deluge of deep and pertinent questions.
InArduisFidelis-RAMC chapter 9 . 6/15/2014
I pity the sorting hat
ArcanePracti-cat chapter 9 . 4/12/2014
Ppffffttt poor hat hahaha
Silverrain chapter 9 . 4/9/2014
In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist.

Haha! So true.
Eclipse1234 chapter 9 . 2/25/2014
How come the first ten chapters are comedic genius, but as the story goes it ceases to be funny at all?
IXAthenaeum chapter 9 . 2/7/2014
Oooh, Harry's already gotten on Snape's bad side and they haven't even officially met yet! Anxious to see what the hat's gonna say x3
Vampires2rocks chapter 9 . 2/5/2014
...Harry's confusing the hat...

Talonis Wolf chapter 9 . 1/27/2014
The reactions of his fellow students when he asked how Flitwick could be part Goblin was amusing, but Harry's analogy was priceless beyond belief. "Part-boat, part carriage!"

Why do I have a feeling that the Ravenclaw Prefect is going to invent that out of spite? Hehehe...
Grizzmon chapter 9 . 1/13/2014
That sure as Tartarus is Ravenclaw curiosity!
Guest chapter 9 . 1/12/2014
Kyle chapter 9 . 1/8/2014
How the fuck did we skip from the train compartment looking for some kids missing toad to the interior of the school? Did Harry had to take the train apart screw by screw?

Will my review even get seen or will it get buried in the 1,000 other reviews as another nobody?
Obscene Cupcake chapter 9 . 1/6/2014
HAHAHAHAHA oh my god I love this.

and i will message you for brick recommendations.
Dawn Darkling chapter 9 . 12/12/2013
I don't have much to say this time except; I love the minute changes you are making with the placements of the character's houses.
567zoock67 chapter 9 . 11/8/2013
OHHH interesting! I was sort of excited to see what houses Harry, Ron, Herimione and Draco (which are so far, the main characters of this story) are going to be sorted into, since it is so different from the original series. I agree with the brief description about the houses, how Gryffindors are wannabe heros. Yep, James Potter from the original series totally fits that, as well as Sirius and Wormtail.

Anyway, it looks like Ravenclaw is the new Gryffindor, and I'm both surprised, angry and happy about the fact that Harry wasn't sorted into a house at the end. I'm angry because I was reading excitedly, wanting to see where he would go, happy because it means the suspense is driven longer and the pleasure of finding out will be intensified. And also surprised because I thought all the sortings of the major characters will be complete in one chapter. In most HP fanfictions where it mentions the sorting hat, it's written that way.
willam and jack and jake chapter 9 . 10/22/2013
nice fanfic
Iryerris chapter 9 . 10/6/2013
Sudden short chapter, much my dismay.

I honestly believed the Sorting Hat with Harry's theory at first.
Hermione fan chapter 9 . 9/12/2013
Warning! Anyone whose favourite character in the canon series was Hermione should not read this disgusting fanfic any further. This fanfic turns Harry into a Mary Sue (or Marty Stu / Einstein Sue) while Hermione is relegated to being a lovesick damsel in distress. Someone needs to cast a stupefy on the author.
a-d Pilot chapter 9 . 9/7/2013
Portion of Author Less Wrong's story, "Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality, chapter 9. Title Redacted, Part I."
And talk about your foregone conclusions. Harry didn't see why Hermione had been so tense about it. In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist.

First Guess
You've probably heard this before, but the first reason that comes to mind is it's there for the same reason the other houses exist. To show the traits of Harry Potter's friends. Hermione should have been in Ravenclaw so she's knowledgeable and probably intelligent. Ron is in Gryffindor and...ok, that's got me a little stumped though he's probably supposed to simply be the quintessential brave defender of the innocent.
Neville...hmm originally intended to claim he's supposed to be in Hufflepuff except I can't recall any events which would prove him to be friendly, hardworking, or unusually loyal.

Then there's Harry. Huh. Brave defender of the innocent eh? Well, well, well.
...Perhaps Harry wasn't intended as a fusion of Gryffindor and Slytherin traits, but...nevermind. The point is the houses probably exist as Author exposition about the personalities of those close to Harry Potter.

Second Guess
The Author had vague ambitions of showing their opinion on the question of Nature versus Nurture by having people who's Nature was that of one house and showing how or if being in a house which promoted different traits affected them.

Third Guess
The Author had a far more ambitious desire to show and explain the various traits in detail.
Such as:
What is bravery?
Does it only apply to physical danger?
What is loyalty?
How is blind loyalty different from parental or guiding loyalty?
Why value knowledge?
Why study beyond what you currently need?
Is ambition bad?
What is the difference between ambition and blind ambition?

But such a thing would be huge project since these are only a few of the traits aspects which would need to be addressed and the patience to have them be addressed slowly instead of all at once along with gaining the skill to insert the situations surround the characters subtly enough not to annoy those following the series makes them dropping such an attempt understandable.
If this was even something they wanted in the first place.
cross-over-lover232 chapter 9 . 8/15/2013
oh my, such nice cheering and chanting!

did harry and hermione sit at a table? because as i remember the lions and the snakes were against the walls, with the badgers and the eagles at the center, sort of a human shield thing to prevent snakes and lions meeting.

the reason i can remember where slythern is at the very least, is because in the first movie, when Qurrilamort announce a troll is loose, they panned the camera to Draco, and he began to panic. that table had a clear shot of he wall behind draco's back.
Pavel.Fr chapter 9 . 8/1/2013
I LOVE THIS SORTING! I can't stop laughing either and I can't wait to see the conversation Harry has with the Sorting Hat! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WRITING! I wonder how long Harry's sorting takes! Professor McGonagall's reaction will be hilarious if Harry has a long sorting!
Netchka chapter 9 . 7/31/2013
Poor Hat, he just got Harry'd. :-)
Livixx chapter 9 . 7/19/2013
God they talked forever
I loved the sorting hats joke in the end
To the TARDIS chapter 9 . 7/7/2013
Faith Villaneuev chapter 9 . 7/4/2013
I liked this better when it had the Ghostbusters reference in. Why did you take it out?
Anon chapter 9 . 7/2/2013
I love this fix so much! Everything about it, the characterization, the humor, is wonderful. I'm also glad I didn't discover it sooner because I don't think I could cliff-hangers.
Lyoness of Avalon chapter 9 . 6/30/2013
So 3 of his new friends are in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Harry seems unlikely to go to Gryffindor at this point, but it would be interesting to have 4 friends from 4 Houses.
The poor Sorting Hat. Maybe Dumbledore should invite Harry up to his office so they can chat for a while.
Alissie chapter 9 . 6/30/2013
Title Redacted? ooh, that's gotta be foreshadowing something good... I wish I could figure out what the last line was in reference to before moving on! Obviously think outside the box (unless that is what you're hoping we all do?). It's not as simple as he's asking too many questions, and I don't think it's something so random as "Oh look, we're out of time for the Sorting! Go wherever!" Hmm... thinking about an evil Ravenclaw? Or a wizard who just knows too much science?

Yeah, I'm not going to get it. Moving on!
Noble Korhedron chapter 9 . 6/11/2013
"Thinking, just as hard as he could: Don't Sort me yet! I have questions I need to ask you! Have I ever been Obliviated? Did you Sort the Dark Lord when he was a child and can you tell me about his weaknesses? Can you tell me why I got the brother wand to the Dark Lord's? Is the Dark Lord's ghost bound to my scar and is that why I get so angry sometimes? Those are the most important questions, but if you've got another moment can you tell me anything about how to rediscover the lost magics that created you?

Into the silence of Harry's spirit, where before there had never been any voice but one, there came a second and unfamiliar voice, sounding distinctly worried:

"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..." *cracks up laughing*
Some Guy chapter 9 . 4/24/2013
"I mean -" Harry said even more quietly, trying to figure out how to ask whether goblins had evolved from humans..."

It strikes me that Harry makes an assumption here, that humans were around before goblins were, even though it's probably a valid assumption given the great number of human fossil remains.
RussianDestruction chapter 9 . 4/18/2013
Aw, everyone cheering him...also, how dare you leave such a cliffhanger!?
sww11685 chapter 9 . 4/16/2013
Loved the chapter.
lastcrazyhorn chapter 9 . 4/3/2013
Into the silence of Harry's spirit, where before there had never been any voice but one, there came a second and unfamiliar voice, sounding distinctly worried:

"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."

Hannah chapter 9 . 4/3/2013
So Hermione and Neville getting Sorted into Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, respectively, was interesting. I mean, those things could have viably happened in the books, but I wonder what exactly changed... Did the change in Harry's living situation create a chain reaction, changing events from the books? And what did happen to Sally-Anne Perks? She was only mentioned in the Sorting of book one, if I recall correctly.
stas.angler chapter 9 . 3/13/2013
Disclaimer: I do like this book, respect author's decisions, and patiently waiting for more chapters.

This version is more sober than the one with a song, but, IMHO, it looks like chimera. The text that is inherited from the previous version, esp. McGonagall-Snape part, is inconsistent with the changed text. For example, Snape is crashing a silver goblet, and McGonagall is thinking about detention, without the stupidity building up around them? Come on...
yoloswagmaster chapter 9 . 2/28/2013
hervissa chapter 9 . 2/27/2013
Holy Rowling. I feel quite sorry for the Sorting Hat ;)
On a happier note: YAAAAY! Neville joined ranks of the proud badgers! :3
..and the Weasley Twins of course difused the tension as always :D
Severus Snape, destroying wine goblets at the feasts since 1991.
I love this story more and more. Siriusly :3
I don't really know what write into this review, as I take this chapter more like a prelude to something BIG... :D
So I won't waste the place and just say - another awesome chapter :)

hervissa :)
P.S. I just remembered something I forgot to write in the review to the Ch. 8 - I just love how Lords of Chaos tried to help Neville. Harry is right - if he will have nightmares, it will be about monsters giving him sweeeets... :3
Skaz Wolfman chapter 9 . 2/12/2013
Yes! I've always wondered why no one ever thought to interrogate the Sorting Hat.
Enei Emmu chapter 9 . 2/2/2013
A thousand reviews in a month? That's pretty awesome, but you make it sound like you DIDN'T SEE IT COMING. The level of genius it takes to write this should be enough to predict the impression it'll make.
petalene chapter 9 . 1/25/2013
I'm laughing so hard at the questions Harry asked the hat that I'm having trouble typing. This story is wonderful.
RandomReader137 chapter 9 . 1/17/2013
It's kinda sad you felt you had to take out the ghostbuster's song parody. I felt the chapter was better for it, although I certainly understand the general antipathy for anything musical in a fic. Remembering the chapter as it was, and now rereading it, it seems Minerva's concern is now awkwardly rewritten, instead of befitting the character.

Not to slight the fic-this is still an amazing piece of writing, all told, and I recommend it highly and often.
Writing bunny chapter 9 . 1/6/2013
Poor, poor Sorting Hat.
Biabara chapter 9 . 1/3/2013
Here goes my hope that Harry and Snape will get on better in this fic. It was foolish, I know. Harry loves to question things, and Snape hates to be questioned. His authority and his expertise.
Guest chapter 9 . 1/2/2013
You removed the ghostbusters song! :(
Arkh Cthuul chapter 9 . 1/2/2013
Huh, has this chapter been redone?
I dont seem to remember the Part with Flittwick and the Goblins at all, and harrys Walk has made a different expression in my memories as well...
kitsuneko1976 chapter 9 . 12/27/2012
okay...implying Pettigrew is dead a few chapters back...interesting. The D&D references, damned amusing. The single most intriguing clever repackaging of the Hamlet quote, I adore and want on a friggin T-shirt with a picture of a 20 sided die.
That you have taken one of the more dreaded tropes of the fandom, the blasted singing hat, and reworked the Lumberjack Song...GENIUS!

I used to like this piece. Now I love it. Looking forward to more.

Incidentally, what was the title, and why the redaction?
Susan M. M chapter 9 . 12/19/2012
"And talk about your foregone conclusions. Harry didn't see why Hermione had been so tense about it. In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist." I have often thought the same. Very nicely done with Harry interrogating the Sorting Hat and the Hat being surprised.
StrangeoneXD chapter 9 . 12/16/2012
Alternate universe indeed, how do gryffindors and stuff like that work anyways, it can be confusing at times
Dan Riddle chapter 9 . 12/14/2012
"All those people believing in him and cheering him - Harry couldn't stand to let that be false. To flash and fade like so many other child prodigies. To be a disappointment. To fail to live up to his reputation as a symbol of the Light, never mind how he'd gotten it. He would absolutely, positively, no matter how long it took and even if it killed him, fulfill their expectations. And then go on to exceed those expectations, so that people wondered, looking back, that they had once asked so little of him.


Wow! :D
I get at least once every chapter that fanatic rush of enthusiasm that Harry must get also!
Mr Norrell chapter 9 . 12/13/2012
I'm beginning to really like your humor. XD
LordXeenTheGreat chapter 9 . 10/2/2012
Great CHapter!
Anonyfriend chapter 9 . 9/7/2012
Please dear god either put the ghost busters parody back or find something else to replace it with. As-is, this revision is vastly inferior to the earlier version.

Anyone with such an ingrained prejudice against music lyrics in fanfiction that they can't give this chapter a chance hasn't been paying enough attention to the POINT of this fic in the first place.

Please, please please. Do something.
electriczero chapter 9 . 9/1/2012
"Oh, I'm the Sorting Hat and I'm okay, I sleep all year and I work one day..." If that's not to the tune of Monty Python's Lumberjack Song, I'll eat a hat. XD
EveBB chapter 9 . 8/18/2012
I love your little dig that Ravenclaw House shouldn't exist if Hermione wasn't sorted into it. That made me laugh aloud. Of course, I love canon HP, but it does seem nuts that JKR created a character so completely suited for Ravenclaw and didn't place her there.
voodooqueen126 chapter 9 . 8/1/2012
Sometimes I wonder if being a rational, scientifically minded person would be a huge disadvantage...
Poetheather1 chapter 9 . 7/28/2012
Great chapter. I really enjoyed this. Such enthusiasm from the Weasleys. The bowing was a nice touch.
Assymetric chapter 9 . 7/28/2012
Oh dear. Anticipating and trepidating.
AnimationNut chapter 9 . 7/26/2012
Harry is truly one of a kind xD
Guest chapter 9 . 7/20/2012
The new chapter 9 is much worse than the predecessor. Much much worse. You should go back to the old one. I don't care if some people don't like songs in fics, it was much more clever and much better done than the new version.
Satirica chapter 9 . 7/16/2012
I agreed with all of the House placements. For one, I never got why Neville got into Gryffindor...and placing Hermione in Ravenclaw was evidently the right thing to do.
kzal chapter 9 . 7/12/2012
On the one hand, I completely understand changing this from the Twins' original prank. On the other, I miss it; Snape's reaction in particular doesn't flow nearly as well.

Did quite enjoy the new brief diversion into Flitwick's genetics, though.
Jaol chapter 9 . 7/6/2012
Ooh, people going into different houses.
treena-ivy-carter chapter 9 . 6/28/2012
Hey, uh, this might be a stupid question but wasn't there a parody of a ghost-busters song this chapter?

...I was quite fond of that song...

haberm chapter 9 . 6/23/2012

What happened to the Ghostbusters song in Chapter 9? You didn't crack from the pressure from these philistines, did you? It was funny as hell, and these crackpots will complain at anything and everything until every world is as numb and lifeless as my saltshaker.

Restore this Great Work that belongs to us All!
Kendra chapter 9 . 6/10/2012
While I think the song is hilarious, I also don't think it's a good choice for this story. In the first place, many people don't like songs in fanfic (which you seem to have been notified of, by your next author's note). But that aside, the story is not a musical and pretending that it is for one chapter doesn't flow well.

It would seem Snape is superhumanly strong, if he can crush solid silver. That makes a neat specific detail to point out the strength (pun intended) of his reaction, but it's not terribly believable. Unless I've got the physical properties of silver wrong, in which case carry on.
Rev chapter 9 . 6/4/2012
This story has burned out the pleasure centers of my brain due to overuse, and I'm only nine chapters or so in. Beware readers: Once you get to chapter 2, the damage begins.

So I'd like to condemn the author of this work for forever crippling my ability to feel joy properly. Normally I really chafe at stories about unrealistically over-intelligent kids, but there's just enough hilarious insanity in HP to soothe my bristling. I would marvel at it, but the previously mentioned damage has reduced my world to shades of squalid grey.

Way to break it hero.
benthor chapter 9 . 6/3/2012
"Neville Longbottom went to Hufflepuff, Harry was glad to see. If that House really did contain the loyalty and camaraderie it was supposed to exemplify, then a Houseful of reliable friends would do Neville a whole world of good." - That last sentence seems awfully forced and cheesy, although I can't qualify this sentiment properly I'm afraid. (I am NOT complaining about putting Neville into Hufflepuff here, only the wording seems a bit off.)

I was of the faction who didn't like the Ghostbusters thing solely by virtue of not knowing the tune at all. I just rectified this shortcoming in my general education and I have to say that the lyrics match rather well.

Here is my take on the continuation of sorting hat's remark (even knowing how it turns out):

"Oh dear. This has never happened before... I was never asked to sort anyone a _second_ time..."
beautifulheartbreak chapter 9 . 5/25/2012
I. Love. This. Omg. I haven't posted until now, but omg, the questions! Ahahaha. So good. :)
Tanya chapter 9 . 5/16/2012

Just had to tell you how much I love love love the whole premise, your characters and your writing style. All hilarious and so fitting. Love the science references too! The song choice in my opinion was insanely perfect, could just imagine scientific little Harry breaking into some impromptu singing and dancing. Also love how much his bravery and sense of justice can still come through when so much has changed. LOVE THE STORY DDD
cherapin chapter 9 . 5/5/2012
Gotta love the Weasley twins, always working the crowd, lightening the mood.
GSYH chapter 9 . 4/30/2012
Has anyone ever got head lice from the Sorting Hat?
Guest chapter 9 . 4/26/2012
d00d; you have entire fandoms devoted to you; why are you bothering with little old me?

-agen fell
ArmyWife22079 chapter 9 . 4/9/2012
The problem with long crack fics is that I gave up it was Sooo long! I got to chapter 15 before I threw In the towel. But the big bang theory/hp fusion is an epic idea, harry was the empidomy of Sheldon is he was a wizard. Loved what you did with quirell! I just have to ask if I could atleast use a vereation of the ghostbusters parody (along with rainlily13 since we bounce ideas off eachother a lot of the time)?
ArmyWife22079 chapter 9 . 4/9/2012
The problem with long crack fics is that I gave up it was Sooo long! I got to chapter 15 before I threw In the towel. But the big bang theory/hp fusion is an epic idea, harry was the empidomy of Sheldon is he was a wizard. Loved what you did with quirell! I just have to ask if I could atleast use a vereation of the ghostbusters parody (along with rainlily13 since we bounce ideas off eachother a lot of the time)?
Hidden Lines chapter 9 . 4/7/2012
Oh god that was random. And hilarious. Why didn't they do that in the book?

Interesting how you rearranged the housing of Neville and Hermione. Even thought that seems a bit wrong, like blasphemy, I always felt that the "everyone into Griffindor" theme was forced. How does Hermione even fit into the description of Griffindor? Or Neville? I guess Rowling's message is that even the "cowardly" and the "intelligent" can be heroes, but that doesn't make much sense. Not when there's an "honesty" house and an "intelligence" house.


You make me laugh.
Mr H. Potter chapter 9 . 3/25/2012
"And talk about your foregone conclusions. Harry didn't really see why Hermione had been so tense about it. In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist."

Very subtle.
Raichu Pikachu chapter 9 . 3/25/2012
I love the Ghostbusters but the part with the song was annoying and pointless, even for the sake of humor. It felt like I was wasting my time reading this chapter. And I have to disagree with one reveiwer that said it was priceless, which was a strong word to use...
Mr H. Potter chapter 9 . 3/25/2012
"And talk about your foregone conclusions. Harry didn't really see why Hermione had been so tense about it. In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist."

Very subtle.
Mavarax chapter 9 . 3/25/2012


You sir, are a genius.
Robbie the Phoenix chapter 9 . 2/18/2012
... anything I was going to say about this chapter was lost to the ethers when Harry started asking the Sorting Hat all those questions. I cracked up and promptly forgot anything else that happened.
The Blind One chapter 9 . 2/17/2012
Again with the fourth-wall (third-wall? canonth-wall?) breaking in the narration. Hermione is such a Ravenclaw's Ravenclaw, isn't she? *nods guiltily along with the bit about pi*

Ha, the mischievous trio have Significant Capitalisation on Their pronoun.

The teachers' reactions are funny, right up until the end of the list. Great placement, if that was intentional. Also, yeeek, I don't even want to imagine the amount of pressure it takes to crush a silver goblet.

Huh, short review.
eastern rosebud chapter 9 . 1/28/2012
The song is an obvious counterpart to the Canon songs of the sorting hat. It's not really original, but I still like it (I rarely read fics so I don't have massive or even non-massive bad associations with songs).
Sunshineanddaisies chapter 9 . 1/21/2012
I LOVED the Ghostbusters part! We are doing part of that song in show choir this year, it's definatly my favorite part of our show. I like how you changed things up with Hermione in Ravenclaw, Neville in Hufflepuff (and I'm going to assume Harry is in Ravenclaw...) keep writing! Or wrote another awesome story (if you have Already finished this one.)
Pinxit-SlyClaw chapter 9 . 1/14/2012
for your disclaimer did you see the meme or play the game?
emcee31 chapter 9 . 12/31/2011
Well! I can beat HPEV in one thing. I learned the first 14 places of pi so I could amaze my math classes, using the pnemonic 'How I wish I could recollect, of circle round, the exact relation ArXmides found'. This gave me 3.14159,265,35895. Actually, the last figure was incorrect, as the longer version stolen from the 'Value of pi' website shows (it has much, much, more).

I had to cheat to reduce Archimedes to 9, by using the Greek letter Chi, which I suppose was how he spelt it.

FawfulInsano chapter 9 . 12/14/2011
So much insight, vocabulary that is used correctly, references, Take That's, Theories that I didn't know even know about, humor, sudden realizations about the Harry Potter universe, and a GHOST BUSTERS reference of all things, has made me realize that you should be on board with J. K. Rowling writing the series!

Wait, what time is the story taking place in anyway?

Oh my gosh, 77 chapters and counting?

"Looks like I'm gonna have to READ!"

(you get a virtual cookie if you get the reference.)
Chloe chapter 9 . 11/13/2011
I loved Lee and the Weasley twins' Ghostbusters song. Priceless
EpitomyofShyness chapter 9 . 11/9/2011
Damnit! I'm so desperate to read more that I keep clicking ahead and having to click back to vote! ARG!
azul wagata chapter 9 . 11/6/2011
hahahahahah fucking shit! this is so awsome! "i aint afraid of dark lords!" hahahahaHAHAHAHA! LOL! awsome your just fucking brilliant! one of the best stuff i have readed in all my life! i love you!
The QAS chapter 9 . 11/6/2011
Interesting. I forgot to tell you in my other review another thing that I liked: I really enjoyed the fact that you're making the timeline believable. Since Harry Potter takes place in the 1990s (not counting the first chapter of the first book in 1981 or the epilogue, 2017) lots of people screw it up by adding pop culture references from the twenty first century. However, it seems that all of yours are from around this time period (ex: Back to the Future and Ghost Busters). Whether this was intentional or not, I applaud you for it.
ShadowDragon010 chapter 9 . 11/4/2011
Hsrry Probley have an interesting time talking to the sorting hat
Brian chapter 9 . 11/3/2011
This isn't actually a review but, can you please make a Youtube vid for the song?
Asparagus chapter 9 . 10/14/2011
You clever bastard.

I apologized that I would try not to review again, but then you went and made the Weasly twins sing a parody of Ghostbusters.

Would it be weird if I told you I love you?

Yeah, yeah it would.

Alright, I love this fanfic as much as I love the other three fanfics that I love. I have only read three truly amazing fanfics in the history of all my years of fanfic reading, and this is on par with my top four.
yk4ever chapter 9 . 9/29/2011
Dude, pi should be rounded to 3.141593, not ...92, next digit is 6.
madeyemarauder chapter 9 . 8/29/2011
Minerva is going to have her heart attack much sooner in this universe!
Reader123456789 chapter 9 . 8/28/2011
And thats a hat. Wow
Fenrir666 chapter 9 . 8/24/2011
Alright, now that was funny!
Silverdragonstar chapter 9 . 8/8/2011
Your song, your song! I must admit that most times songs in fan fic earn the writer a trip to see Cerberus in my mind, but not here. I laughed so hard at that while visualizing all that you wrote. Bravo only song in a fic I have liked so far... Cheers!

( oh and I rank your humor right up there with Monty Python and I do mean that as a big compliment, Spam and eggs anyone? no hmm silly walks?)
Xan105 chapter 9 . 7/29/2011
Hi, just want to say I think this is an amazing ic so far - serious and hilarious in equal manner. Thank you!
sydg813 chapter 9 . 7/25/2011
This chapter was amazing!
Megan McAlistair chapter 9 . 7/13/2011
"The hideous buzzings redoubled in volume and built to another awful crescendo:"

I can't help but with that description I have to think of vuvuzelas
Isa Knightwalker chapter 9 . 7/10/2011
Okay my last review was actually for the last chapter and this one (I'm reading the PDF that looks like the book and then reviewing on here). Great chapter :3
Diz chapter 9 . 6/26/2011
Sorry, but I didn't like this chapter except for the end where Harry asks the hat all of his questions. The Ghost buster song was too random and it was out of character for him to "play along with" it by dancing and improvising like he did.
Kyle on Ice chapter 9 . 6/19/2011
As if the entire Ghostbusters parody courtesy of Lee, Fred, and George weren't enough, you also throw in a Monty Python reference? Bravo!
EvilDime chapter 9 . 6/19/2011
*LOL* I loved the Ghostbusters thing, but the Lumberjack nearly killed me! XD

- Dime
Lena7213 chapter 9 . 6/9/2011
Your "THIS IS SPARTA!" Thing in the beginning of the chap about the reviews made me smile. It was awesome! Oh! I'm lovin' the Chaos group of whatevers!
Nomsterli chapter 9 . 6/5/2011
I so gotta go get some slepp, and I so staying awake for just one more chapter. Only one, I promise...
Clownwithachainsaw chapter 9 . 6/4/2011
*Rises to applause!*

Usually, when I read a good fic, I comment every four chapters or so about the highlights. I commend you sir, on writing something so clever that I would have to write an individual review for three chapters in a row.

How on earth did you come up with this? How on earth did you think; 'hey, maybe Fred and George should play the ghostbuster's theme song, and Harry will play along'?

FmaFan10 chapter 9 . 5/23/2011
i musr listening to ghostbusters while reading the part with the song is great! lol great job!
sarj2490 chapter 9 . 5/15/2011
The departure from the books in the sorting of the characters is odd, but only because it's not familiar, not because it doesn't make sense and that is the fact that is driving me crazy. Why wasn't Hermione in Ravenclaw? Or Neville in Hufflepuff? Gah!
Sheaman chapter 9 . 5/14/2011
One point, that has most likely been made but should be mentioned just in case, is that Lee Jordan's dad was heavily implied to be a wizard, in that he was one of the people that Ludo Bagman owed money to from the Quidditch World Cup. He could well have had a Muggle mother, though.

I find it interesting that here he says that there has never been any voice but one, and later he has a number of voices yammering away.
Anonymous chapter 9 . 5/6/2011
Interestingly, Harry knows Pi wrongly.

"Harry knew pi out to 3.141592"

It should be 3.141593 because the remainder of the part (Pi being 3.141592654... of Pi truncated would cause the 2 to round up.

A general fault from his lack of actual exposure to the practical side of calculations and mathematical work? Authorial error? Authorial intent to demonstrate how his lack of thoroughness causes him to have flawed conclusions?

Whatever, just noticed this on a reread and thought it was interesting.
Sharpknifes chapter 9 . 5/5/2011
i really like your story so far and this is just my omake of the sorting:

"Harry Po-"



" That can't be possible! The hat didnt even touch his head! Redo that!"

so harry walked up to the stool and picked up the sorting ha-



the whole school was silent then...

"REDO! REDO! RE-" (The Gryfindors)






"RAVENCLAW!"( the hat of course")
NarutosBrat chapter 9 . 4/26/2011
You know what would have been really crazy, Dumbledore or Flitwick conjuring an organ, and hitting the riff that Harry's lines came up in.
MouetteHeartsErik chapter 9 . 4/12/2011
FFN review system is being dumb. But, in the last chapter (in case review didn't go through), fully enjoyed Hermione and Harry's getting to know each other - perfect :)

For this chapter, ahh, Ghostbusters :D I don't know what the other reviews said about songfics, but it fit in the story and felt very Order of Chaos-y. Poor Harry has no idea what effect this is having on Snape, doesn't even know to look for it, poor dear. And of course Harry would spurt things at the hat immediately :D
Sasori210580 chapter 9 . 3/17/2011
I usually don't review a story more than once but I just want you to know that YOU ARE A COMEDY GOD!

Though I am curious, did you plan out the whole "Ghost Busters" moment or did it just come to you?
sweetestofpeas chapter 9 . 3/6/2011
"In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw?" - quite honestly, the best damn line so far, and I'm sure one of the millions of fans who reviewed prior to me already mentioned it.
Hermione Heterodyne chapter 9 . 3/3/2011
So, did anyone guess it? And can I blackmail them into telling me what they learned?
Smooth Trooper chapter 9 . 3/3/2011
Why do i get the feeling tha Harry is about to break the sorting hat?
The StrayXIII chapter 9 . 3/1/2011
Ghostbusters on the freaking KAZOO? SOMEONE NEEDS TO RECORD THAT!

Part 2, part 2, part 2, part 2...
jessj chapter 9 . 2/23/2011
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrgh no song fics pls
AnFan-n-More chapter 9 . 2/22/2011
Forgot to mention last review, but you've also shown Harry's caring side to key characters. It's a good complement to the confusion he's been spreading. People will need a reason to put up with his eccentricities and the way he can throw them for a loop.

I do remember what's coming up next chapter, and I look forward to it with relish :)
ARMH chapter 9 . 2/20/2011
Looking at the author's note for this chapter, I have to wonder how far ahead you were looking. It's come pretty far since the 9th chapter.
Markus Ramikin chapter 9 . 2/14/2011
The song was great. Do not let anyone tell you any different.
Mystamir chapter 9 . 2/3/2011
This is another chapter that had me hooting with laughter. Fortunately the husband and roommate weren't home from work yet, so I didn't have to explain why I sounded like a finalist in the Wicked Witch of The West Cackling Contest.

For those who don't or can't appreciate judiciously and bloody well-done songs in fanfic, they can suck a large rotten egg. Through a straw. Up their nose.
Re'Lar chapter 9 . 1/20/2011
I loved the song D

This story is great! Well done. No Really, Well. Done.
MadScribbler chapter 9 . 1/19/2011
I almost fell out of my chair laughing at Harry Potter's trip to the sorting hat. And I love the hat's song, which was somewhat familiar. What a unique and wonderful story! I've never read anything like this in fanfiction.
jada951 chapter 9 . 1/7/2011
snag! got the hat trapped!

Dodos-r-not-extinct chapter 9 . 1/5/2011
Interesting take on the Potter story. Definitely better Houses than shoving them all into Gryffindor. Now, where have you put Harry?
Tangshou chapter 9 . 1/3/2011
I really hope someone makes a music video of that scene.
dreamsofthings chapter 9 . 12/14/2010
Ghostbusters? Really? Shameless. Utterly shameless.

I love it!
Gelacacine chapter 9 . 12/13/2010
I love the Ghostbuster and Lumberjack, though it really wasn't necessary... It makes sense in a 'rational' fanfiction that Neville goes to Hufflepuff, and Hermione to Ravenclaw, but it seems to indicate that neither of them are going to do anything stupid and heroic yet, which is disappointing.
steffiii07 chapter 9 . 12/8/2010
people think Harrys brilliant, I think your brilliant, seriously Why haven't you published your own books this is the most entertainment I have had in a long time reading, (and thats something considering the amount of books I've read) brilliant and hilarius, I love the main character actually being smart for a change like Hermione is the only one that is smart in the canon universe
Los Grotos chapter 9 . 12/4/2010
True, true, true.
Matthew Fallshaw chapter 9 . 11/29/2010
Short chapter… still excellent.
Miss Teinge chapter 9 . 11/28/2010
I really, REALLY like the little snippet of the Sorting Hat's song! This fic is GOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Mind's III chapter 9 . 11/21/2010
Chapter 9 is astute as usual with the canon ridiculocities:

"In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist."

And Neville going to Hufflepuff, naturally. I like that not only do you send the students to where in any sane universe they would have gone, but you also have already built up the justification for these two changes (Gryffindor prefect being useless in the train).

Monty Python references are for the win, of course. There's some nice immediate foreshadowing with Harry's "encounter with the ghosts" immediately before the much-maligned ghostbusters bit.

But... that ghostbusters thing. Even with the authorial note explaining it, and Lee Jordan, etc, it both

a) Breaks the suspension of disbelief, and

b) Is baffling and pointless to those, like me, who never really knew anything about ghostbusters beyond internet references to 'crossing the streams', and

c) Immediately made me re-sort the fic into the annoying-trashy-audience-pandering-genre when I first saw it. Luckily for me, I then did a double-take, since the apparent anti-immersive derailing was completely at odds with the favourable impression I'd built up of your work so far. Basically, I blotted it out of my mind and - well, not exactly had to force myself to go on reading, but certainly I became less keen for a while.

With a little rewriting, putting Lee Jordan explicitly in there suggesting it, and showing a bit of the background work that must have been involved in carrying out the Weasley plan, I think it could actually work. Barely. But I think it'd be better without it at all. Just my two knuts' worth.

And that said, the teaching staff's reactions seem to me to be EXACTLY how they would actually react.
AspergianStoryteller chapter 9 . 11/2/2010
Ha! Poor Sorting Hat! And nice impromtue song & dance.
Guest chapter 9 . 10/31/2010
Note: Especially the name "beauty" is still used by many people working in the field; mainly because doing "bottom physics" sounds really not that good. :)

Top physics on the other hand...
Eli Courtwright chapter 9 . 10/30/2010
"Draco went to Slytherin, and Harry breathed a small sigh of relief. It had seemed like a sure thing, but you never did know what tiny event might upset the course of your master plan."

Wow, I guess you were planning the whole thing about Harry convincing Draco to help him fix Slytherin House pretty early! Kudos on that; I enjoy seeing this kind of foreshadowing, though I must admit I only ever notice it in retrospect rather than being able to predict what will happen in advance.
w chapter 9 . 10/30/2010
He was still trying to get himself under control from his encounter with the ghosts. - nice, didn't notice this foreshadowing of conversation with D.

you never did know what tiny event might upset the course of your master plan. - oh nice, nice, already here too.

BTW, you might also get around the problem with chapter 52 by framing it as being overconfident - make HP consider the risks of going to A, but actively decide it's gonna be fine. The problem is, though, that no risk-analysis would justify this, since the expected value of failure is still infinity.

BTW, it's quite interesting, but Q does seem to be truthful in claiming to be interested in Battle Magic, given his fun in chapter 54. I still don't believe he's Voldemort. Oh, the suspense.
May chapter 9 . 10/19/2010
The song was perfect. PERFECT. I could imagine it so clearly and it brought me to my knees with hysterical laughter.
Multitaskmom chapter 9 . 10/18/2010
I know I'm too late to win your contest of understanding this last line, but...

I'm guessing this is the first time someone was so capable of being sorted into all four houses.

(I always thought that Harry of the canon stories fit into Hufflepuff as well as Gryffindor and Slytherin, although he was so worried about finding his place, that his loyal traits didn't shine through quite as much in the early years. However, he never really shone very much in the intelligence department. There were times you could see he had potential there, but he never really pursued it. So with your story I see his alignment with Ravenclaw and his better sense of self lending him to even more loyal traits as expanding his true self to include all four houses.)

Of course, that's just my first guess. It could also be that the hat has never been asked questions about other students before. Or maybe never really asked questions before period. What eleven year olds would have the wherewithal to recognize the moment and take advantage of it when their "whole future" is about to be decided? ;)
Indigo Ziona chapter 9 . 10/16/2010

I sleep all year and I work one day... hehehe

Love that Harry plays along with the prank.

Love kazoos.

I like that one subtle little event with a rude prefect was enough to change Neville and Hermione's houses :)
Kutta chapter 9 . 10/7/2010
Great chapter
LunaSlashSea chapter 9 . 10/5/2010
Excellent chapter. I liked the paragraph about the level of competition Hermione brings to the table.
Nakedkali chapter 9 . 10/4/2010
More filking! This story needs more of this. Madona, 50 Cent, Huey Lewis. Too bad Katy Perry and Lady Gaga are not in period.
dinosaurusgede chapter 9 . 10/4/2010
Bwahaha! Old bat in the cape is just the best punchline ever! and 'Slytherin! ...just kidding! Ravenclaw!' pffft!
Another lazy rationalist chapter 9 . 9/30/2010
"And talk about your foregone conclusions. Harry didn't really see why Hermione had been so tense about it. In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw? If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist."


However, I feel the original author might have been implying that bravery, loyalty, etc. were more important than intelligence. Regardless, it could also be argued that you are put in a house according to which values you base your decisions on (e.g., Hermione would presumably put loyalty to her friends above the Ravenclaw values). I would also like to note that modern day scientists would probably all end up in Ravenclaw due to their utter failure to consider the consequences of giving the rich and powerful yet more riches and power for virtually nothing in return.

P.S. - The quoted section is still totally awesome despite the minor considerations above! I wouldn't want anyone to get the impression I only had negative things to say...
Another lazy rationalist chapter 9 . 9/30/2010
Your notes on chapter 9 suggest you have 1 plot and that got me thinking. Why do stories generally have only 1 plot? I much prefer the 'multiple plots' generated by fan fiction, but see no reason the original author can't also write alternative plots.
E.A.V chapter 9 . 9/26/2010

I love your style! I now want to read everything on your website! Force of writing style, yes! Thank you for writing!
MonkeyAxman1302 chapter 9 . 9/20/2010
I think deification is in order for that chapter alone! I ain't afraid of Dark Lords. I'm going to be singing it like that for days now!
Rebel Goddess chapter 9 . 9/20/2010
This chapter was so funny I expected the writer at the top to be changed to Nonjon. Probably the best Sorting I've ever read. Superb chapter. Well done.
Astarlia chapter 9 . 9/19/2010
I don't remember ever being this emotionally invested in anything i've ever read ever.
Serpent In Red chapter 9 . 9/11/2010
"In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw?" - *sniggers* In the one Rowling wrote, so that she could befriend Harry. ;)

Ahahaha! McGonagall not wanting Harry in her House was too funny.

Poor Sorting Hat. Even it can't get away with Harry's questioning session.

hiyafolks chapter 9 . 8/25/2010
Dude ya got to give people time to breathe... Too much insanity and laughter... That was neat
InuYasha's God sis chapter 9 . 8/25/2010
PRICELESS! I woke my sister up with this. And I do hope you manage to reform (somewhat) Draco. Not change him into a completely person or anything but to get him out of the blind mentality he seems to have when it comes to his father's beliefs. I trust you will do ell with him.

Thank you for the inspiring read. TO FAVORITES!

~Yasha's Sis
Donteatacowman chapter 9 . 8/21/2010
" never did know what tiny event might upset the course of your master plan." I love the double meaning. XD

And I love the song. WOO! Awesomesauce! :D
Greytune chapter 9 . 8/13/2010
Hey, could this "Santa Claus" character from ch. 21 be "Mr. Hat And Cloak" which Zabini spoke to later on about tricking Quirrell and Dumbledore? They seem like they could be the same.
Naramyon chapter 9 . 7/9/2010
My first thought was that it was the Sorting Hat, but...

The previous sentence made it sound like the voice was in Harry's mind, just like his own, which implies that he has another personality/consciousness inside his head.

That is supported by:

1) Harry's belief in magic, before any evidence.

2) Harry's anger problems.

3) The behavior Minerva recognized as belonging to an abused.

So my Hypothesis List is thus: (CAPS indicate a higher-probability answer.)

1) The SH in response to; A) Harry's questions, b) an inability to read Harry's mind, C) the challenge of sorting Harry, or D) any other unknown/un-guessed variable.

2) A second consciousness in Harry's mind/soul/body that is more knowledgeable/aware then Harry himself. - In such case, the likely suspects are; A) the soul fragment of Tom Marvalo Riddle, b) a divine/godly presence, or c) a split personality.

There are two questions the reader has to answer.

FIRST: Who is speaking?

Hypothesis(es?): the Sorting Hat, a bystander, a split personality, the fragment of Dark Lord, a cosmic/divine presence within Harry's own soul, etc.

SECOND: What is the 'this' that has never happened before?

Hypothesis(es): a student asking the Hat all of these questions, Harry's MIND's reaction to the invasive magic of the Sorting Hat, the complexity of Harry's mind that complicates the sorting process, or an unknown variable.

Most likely, the 'This' that unknown speaker mentions is as unknown to Harry himself as it is to the readers. - If that is the case, then the reader is just guessing in the dark.

I have to commend you for presenting me with such an entertaining puzzle.

1st, I hope you'll tell me if anyone has answered this puzzle correctly.

2nd, I want to know whether any of my hypothesis(es?) were correct and if so, which one(s).

I assume that you will answer the riddle for us in the next chapter? (I shudder to use the word 'assume'. That word never speaks of good things.)

Thank you for the entertaining challenge. - I consider the solving the reward.

Zoa Naramyon
Backroads chapter 9 . 6/30/2010
May I ask how long you've been singing the Harry Potter/Ghostbusters theme song before finally finding a release for it? Charming song, though, be proud of it.

I continue to adore Harry. He's reminding me of a nasty combo of the kids from "The Wheel on the School". Actually, this entire fic does, sans Holland country and storks. But the scientific banter is similar, and that book was s Newberry so you should be proud.
Mionefan chapter 9 . 6/28/2010
Well, so far you've earned those over 5000 reviews! This really is a brilliant story. One of the few, in fact that actually knows a bit about what he talks about (presumably, since I can't question you directly). I'm sure the rest of the tale will measure up to what I've read so far and I hope you'll continue it to its logical conclusion. We minor authors can only hope to tread the same paths.
James Birdsong chapter 9 . 6/23/2010
*Grins* Well played author. Well played.
jcogginsa chapter 9 . 6/13/2010
great story dude
Mother of Tears chapter 9 . 6/1/2010
Oh dear. What a spectacle. And it sure looks as though Snape is going to hate him in your story just as in so many others. Too bad. I can see Harry needing a really intelegent teacher on his side.
Mr.Destructo chapter 9 . 5/20/2010
omg a review!
Thalia0965 chapter 9 . 5/15/2010

Just wanted to let you know that I love your story. I don't understand a lot about the mathematical stuff you are talking about, but I still love your story. And I must say that the song welcoming Harry to the stool had me laughing so hard I was quite happy not to be drinking at the same time :D

Off to read some more now...

Tangerine-Alert chapter 9 . 5/13/2010
I don't think I've ever read 'to the theme of Ghostbusters' in a fic before.

Loonynamelass chapter 9 . 5/13/2010

Oh my George Weasley, how'd they know that muggle song? Oh yeah, wait- Lee Jordan. But that's so awesome!

Poor Snape, of course. I feel a bit of foreboding about that, but...

The song was just so awesome! Also, you were very clever in this chapter. Most authors (me included) spend a chapter detailing the Sorting, and the climax of the chapter, probably the end, is the Sorting Hat's last word.

But you've added quite a twist!
oxybusy chapter 9 . 5/11/2010
this is amazing lol.
darksidhe42 chapter 9 . 5/6/2010
I love your digs on the books. "If Hermione Granger didn't go to Ravenclaw then there was no good reason for Ravenclaw House to exist."
Sweet on the Ghostbusters thing. I just read your AN from the next chapter, and would like to add that while I don't care for a story written to fit a song, a song that is a natural part of the narrative is something completely different. I thought it was great.
A Bibliophile chapter 9 . 5/2/2010
I have a feeling the rest of the students are going to be waiting a long time for the sorting to end.
TxA-GunFighter chapter 9 . 4/20/2010
Very good chapter. Gotta love the twins.

Keleri chapter 9 . 4/15/2010
Dear Sir/Madam:

I love you, for all time.
stonegnome1 chapter 9 . 4/13/2010
Give the people what they want and they will review.

I hope the sorting hat does not dress in women's clothing and hang around in bars.

The last sound you heard was my laughter.
Makurayami Ookami chapter 9 . 4/11/2010
well written.

kudos to you cause i never could have wrote something so involved as this. i learned to stick to the reading.
He Who Comes With the Dusk chapter 9 . 4/10/2010
Again, I enjoyed this chapter thoroughly. My bad about the quarks, I was wrong to have doubted you! Your untarnished record of intelligence and accuracy prevails!
the true elec chapter 9 . 4/6/2010
Loved this chapter, great use of the ghostbusters theme. I like Neville going to Hufflepuff, maybe he'll come out of his shell.
Banner chapter 9 . 4/6/2010
This is fresh and fun. I just found this story, and I spent the day reading it. I had a wonderful time. Thank you!
Cinnamon Selkie chapter 9 . 4/4/2010
~Harry winced. Hermione had been the one to explain to him about the Sorting Hat, but she certainly didn't treat it like an irreplaceable, vitally important, 800-year-old artifact of forgotten magic that was about to perform intricate telepathy on her mind and didn't seem to be in very good physical condition.~

You know, I never thought about it like that...I guess after that long it must be used to being mashed around by first years.

McGonagall's was definitely the right perspective to do from.

~But the Dark Lord's power had been broken once.

And Harry would protect them again. If there was in fact a prophecy and that was what it said. Well, actually regardless of what any darn prophecy said.~

Oh good. I was a little worried that this Harry was going to have the sense to run while he had the chance.

It will be interesting to see how the Sorting Hat responds to all Harry's questions...Cinnamon.
Lord Jeram chapter 9 . 4/4/2010
On Chapter 9:

Um... no. There is never a good reason for there to be any song in fanfiction except for the Sorting Hat's song.

I certainly don't hate your story, even if I have some problems with it. Hermione shouldn't really go to Ravenclaw, I believe, because in all honesty, that is not what she's about. She is all about persisting in what she believes is right even against social pressure. That's my opinion. Harry, though, is so complex a character that he could go to any house believably.

My real problem is that this chapter has a few of my most hated fanfiction pet peeves:

1) Inappropriate muggle world references - I do not believe for one second that Fred and George would even think to reference the 1980's film and theme song Ghostbusters. That severely took me out of the story. It would be far more believable to use an original song based on song popular Magical song. I don't know why you'd think Lee Jordan is an especially Muggle name. There are far too many assumptions involved here, it just seems weird.

2) SONGS - I'd rather read actual story content. I also HATE seeing popular songs in fanfiction. It never fits. This is no exception here. Also, including:

As performed on the kazoo by Fred and George Weasley, and sung by Lee Jordan

is just weird. This isn't a script, it's a story. It should be obvious to the reader what's going on.

It is not at all clear enough that Harry doesn't recognize the music. IF that was in the very beginning, and IF you had made it very very clear that the idea was inspired by a Muggle song, it MAY have been SLIGHTLY acceptable. No, no. The Ghostbusters theme? Really? I just can't buy that. I will just pretend the song didn't happen and keep reading.
entity.unknown chapter 9 . 4/4/2010
oops my mistake; not on april fools'

but it's a nice excuse for another review xP
sydneydallas chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
Very amusing so far, looking forward to the next chapter.
Cateagle chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
Nice gag there with the Weasley Twins and Lee Jordan. If, as I suspect, Harry goes somewhere besides Gryffindor (and with that mind, he's quite likely to), then he'll need to build bridges of friendship with them just to stay on their more or less sane side; that should be educational for all of them.
Saigo chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
It sounds like you have a bunch of heckling asshole reviewers. You've already demonstrated that you know what you're doing and it pisses me off that they can't just sit back and enjoy the story. Of course not, obviously they know better than you and, according to some of them, they even know more about your plot then you do and they're going to jump down your throat every chapter because they're so effing intimidated that they have to put you in your place. I don't even know why you bother trying to justify yourself to them every chapter. You seriously don't need to.
Less Wrong chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
About to update. Contest cutoff here.
Herr Reginald XVI esquire chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
Clearly the hat has never seen someone so devoted to rationality also equally devoted to being a dick.
April 3rd to days chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
"I post Part Two on April 3rd"

M no updats MM come on please updats the best fic of this years
nth-x chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
My guess on the meaning of the Hat's quote here is that, up until this point, the Hat hadn't had to think, it merely "followed programming" in sorting students. However, when Harry asked his questions, the Hat had to actually attempt to respond. And by that act, it actually surpassed its magical "programming" and attained sentience.

I don't know if I'm completely off base, but that seems like it might actually fit with the spirit of the story, as well as hearken back to an earlier comment you made about artificial intelligence.

Regardless of whether I'm right, I agree with other reviewers in that I don't want to know the plot ahead of time...your delivery of the story is at least as important to me as where the story is going. The whole experience would be cheapened if I missed out on the discovery and suspense of the plot.

On a side note, I'm finding myself actually proof-reading and revising my review, because I want to make a good impression. That's not a normal response I have to fanfiction, and I salute you for the effect of your writing. Of course, now that I've said this, I'm certain that I will make several mistakes and look quite foolish. Oh well.

Thanks for writing!
Rhaegar Targaryen chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
Therio chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
I am really liking this story. It is fresh and original, which I haven't been able to say for a long time on here.

Please don't take this review as a flame. I can't say I really liked this chapter. The beginning and end (which I'll come back to) were good. However to me, the whole Ghostbusters song bit seemed out of place compared to the rest of the chapters. I don't know if you put it there to try add some more humour ala the previous chapter, but it just didn't work for me. Also, after it was over, Harry completely ignored the fact that he was just pranked.

Now what happened once Harry put the Sorting Hat on his head was absolutely hilarious to me. The poor hat. Going through all these years of being put on 11 yo heads, going through their minds and finding their dominant personality trait and then sorting them based on this. Then along comes Harry with his scientific mind, totally questioning everything. Whereas everyone else the hat has sorted was so accepting of magic for magics sake, Harry actually starts asking the hat questions, making the hat actually think for itself. Not only that, he also questions the very fabric of magic, which for the hat, has never happened before.

(Was I close to what the last line meant?)
asdeed chapter 9 . 4/3/2010
Based on events up to this point we can't even be certain it's the Sorting Hat communicating yet, which is good because I sure as heck don't want any spoilers for a story this entertaining!

Also the Sorting Hat ripped a Python tune, that's fantastic, heh.
jrp chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
This story is awesome and the author might be awesome. Thanks for writing and I look forward to more chapters.
RogueBard chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Here's my guess- a student asking not to be sorted and instead asking questions? And as this is my first reveiw, I must say, awesome story. I'm slowly converting my group to it...
Mirror Behind the Wall chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
This fanfiction is absolutely fantastic. (So far, considering you have yet to finish that sentence, which may, for all I know, end in "before I call to the end of this story, sorry readers!") I won't submit that as a guess to the end of the sentence though, as for all I know it IS, and I really don't want to know the rest of the plot (it would spoil the story). I find your writing to be intensely humourous and intelligent. I'm incredibly intrigued and excited to see what happens next!
Pointer3109 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
"OH PLEASE don't let him be a Gryffindor... "


The questions he gave the sorting hat should prove he belongs in Ravenclaw. If, as you say, there is any good reason for Ravenclaw to exist.

Enjoyed it.
SROTU chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I still love your story.

Very original. Those other reviewers who knocked on your plot didn't know what they were talking about.

I'm afraid I don't have a clue what the last sentence is talking about... but I'll guess.

Never happened before: The Sorting Hat learns of Harry's horcrux, yet can't tell Harry about it?

Nope, I got nothing. But I can check back tomorrow to find out, so I'm not too bummed -
shiro-wolfman-k chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I will sue you so hard that you will be pennyless... I almost choked to dead whit a cookie... a COOKIE, when the ghostbuster theme song appeared, you almost killed me...

And no, I dont know what you are trying to say in there, I was a little busy trying to breath and all that.

But I guess, it could be a really good chapter if I where not trying to eat before go to bed.

Well... at least the glass of water was a life saver, Good chapter, and good questions, indeed.
me chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
i suspect that the hat can't sort harry. i don't care if i'm right, which is why i haven't signed in. if i am right, i don't want to know the plot, because that would make the story boring.
Wulfenbach chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I'm not even sure what to say to this chapter
loonyXtune chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
omg greatest story ever! update soon please!
Harriverse chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
No! What a place to stop! Do you like torturing your readers? I googled your quote from the end of the chapter and came up with over 2 million hits. I added the quotation marks and only got 2-your chapter title and a children's book. I'm wondering if the hat picked up on Harry and Voldy in Harry's head? But that would seem a little too easy since Harry sorta asked that question himself. He can't be Ravenclaw reincarnated, but he could be un-sortable due to having all the traits of the houses...except that has been done before. You've got me stumped.
force42 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
This is the most amazing piece of fan fiction I have ever read, and I can't wait to see how it continues.
Deritine chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Haha- you are drunk with power. ;P

I don't actually want to know the entire plot of your story. It is comforting that you know it, though! As for what the last sentence means- so many possibilities. I mean, basically all the AUs on ffnet have been about that phrase. Fits in all Houses? None? Too organized a mind? Not actually a wizard? Conflict of interest with an inherent hat/student confidentiality and/or bound to tell the truth and/or this is going to take all night. I mean... sheesh. That's why I like the story, so many possibilities.
tatewaki2000 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010

Is this your April Fools Joke?

It was a okay-ish chapter?

A bit disappointing, but you are the all amazing author.

Nothing to really say.

An unwitty, uncharming, silly chapter. :/

8 out of 9.

Not bad. And I still look forward to the next chapter.
Shadow Lighthawk chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Give me a minute. I need to clear the haze of WTF before I manage an actual review. And you have to admit, there’s a lot of WTF in this chapter. Don’t get me wrong, I laughed. HARD. But there’s also a sense of cringe, because wow. Those lyrics? And Harry’s line? It’s over the top, and it really does sound like egotism, or maybe 'conceited pomposity' is a better descriptor. If you didn’t know that it was a joke played *on* Harry as much as on the rest of Hogwarts, you would likely think that Harry had helped plan it, and that would make him seem like kind of an arse. On the other hand, I think a lot of the student body had fun with it, at least the Muggleborns. Finally a culture-based joke that they can understand and enjoy.

I think one of the biggest reasons for my cringe is that I keep thinking about how canon!Harry would have felt about GrednForge and Lee’s prank. He’d have been utterly mortified! In that respect, it’s a good thing that you put this in here. It helps to really hammer home how very NOT cannon your Harry is.

Not only was your Harry willing to embrace the joke, his quick recovery in what could truly have been an awful situation speaks well of him. God, I can just imagine him doing a spin move on the yeah-yeah-yeahs.

The funniest thing was, once again, the reactions, especially McGonagall and Snape. Harry has actually stored himself up a world of hurt with Snape, but I think he’ll be able to handle it one way or another. It makes me sad, too, though, because Lucius’ note to Draco had some truly intriguing implications for Harry’s possible relationship with Snape. After this stunt, it’s likely that anything more than an extremely hostile relationship will require a very long time and/or a paradigm-shattering event to occur. Snape might be able to use logic more effectively than some (most) of his peers, but he really is blind when it comes to his own emotions and biases.

McGonagall’s ‘please not Gryffindor’ and her thoughts on the kazoo music (although ‘kazoo music’ is rather an oxymoron, isn’t it?) made me LOL in the truest sense of the acronym. Even knowing what a pain-in-the-ass Harry is, though, her concern for how Snape will act towards Harry because of the joke speaks to her innate fairness and her care for Harry.

I do think it’s telling that Harry knows his line about not being afraid is a lie.

As to the challenge, I think the Hat is actually referring to Harry. Not in a “you’re unique to my experience Sorting students” kind of way, though. I think “this has never happened before” refers to what Harry is experiencing. As he did the Ghostbusters dance and people cheered, Harry vowed to live up to and surpass their expectations. That’s never happened to Harry before, as far as I can see. He’s always set his own expectations for himself, never letting someone else – parents, teachers, or other children – set expectations to which he’s supposed to live up – or down, as the case may be. Harry’s sudden willingness to be the Gryffindor-golden-boy-hero-protector-symbol-of-Light - to be confined to that role and to allow other people (bystanders, even!) to define his goals - is irrational, and Harry *isn’t questioning it* both of which are also foreign to Harry’s character. And that’s what I think the Hat is referring to, this sudden and unnatural shift in Harry’s thinking and view of himself and the world. “This has never happened” to *Harry*.

Or it could be something bizarre that has to do with the 26-hour sleep schedule thing and Harry’s mood swings.

Or a particularly well-conceived April Fool’s prank, which I rather enjoyed.

I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next. I also hope that if someone *does* get the answer, you’ll tell us who so that we can all give them a round of applause. _

BTW, your shameless review whoring? Is shameless and very amusing.
Lacking Rumination chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
... LOL~!

I liked the last sentence where it went:

"Oh dear. This has never happened before..."

That made me laugh. Not like my usual laughs of AHAHHAHAHAhaAHA~ but more of Oho ho ho ho~! Weird I know.

i Think that... !

I don't want to know the entire plot. Cause I LIKE being surprised by your story and it's magnificence. That means don't tell me how your story is going to play out. I'm serious, don't, if you decide to try and kill me with telling me the ENTIRE fricking plot.
Ell chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Ok. you got me. I have no idea what the last line is about. One is forced to assume that it is the sorting hat worrying about being interrogated, but given the nature of your challenge, I fear it is not so. In any case, this fic challenges views, broadens horizons, ect. ect. and also makes me laugh like a pig.

Do pigs laugh? Is that a genuine expression, or did I just make that up? If it's not, it should be. Oh well. If I were living in a perfect world, I would have come across this fic after it was already finished so I wouldn't have to wait for the next chapter, which I am EXTREMELY impatient to read.
nolongerhereok chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Heh, nice vague statement. Hm.

I'm going to go ahead and throw a wild guess, since this really is completely unpredictable: is the Sorting Hat just screwing with him?
Nongarak chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I can not tell you how hard I had to work to stifle my giggles. That shit was cash. I can't believe they did that! Oh man, now I'm gonna have that song running through my head all day... Great job. Really, really, marvelous job... Update soon! Or tomorrow, I guess.

So, a guess at what the last sentence was talking about: I am guessing that the sorting hat either A) can't sort Harry for some unknown reason, perhaps mental block or bombardment with questions, B) The hat has never been spoken to before, seriously expecting answers (unlikely), or C) The hat has never seen a mind like Harry's, either because he's so intelligent (doubtful) or because of the magic from the curse scar (plausible). I hope I can take that many guesses!
RonneeM chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Very fascinating story. I've been learning a lot of rather esoteric science from it. And to think I thought I had already known a decent amount. Some of it I vaguely recognized and it was just a refresher but a frightening amount I had either missed or never heard of even in my magnet and AP schooling. Watching as the scientific prodigy heads for Hogwarts is quite like watching a train wreck on ice. You just know the ice will break, but exactly when will it give way? I humbly await more.
Shadowface chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Pretty good. Kind of silly, but still, very funny.
frankiejoseph chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Between your rationalist!Harry and Rorschach's Blot's chemistry-loving!Harry, I think I am in love with the idea of Harry as an ubergeek.
Prince Charon chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Heh, I feel a little sorry for the Sorting Hat, among others.

This is good. Please, continue soon.
GrammarHammer chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Another excellent chapter. To the idiots who already hate your story, I encourage them to move along to less well orchestrated works of fiction. I am enjoying your story immensely. Keep up the great work and pour out those chapters. I hate having to "stall" during my reading of your wonderful story :)
Stahchild chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I hope that this was an aprils fools chapter. I'm really hoping so.

The whole ghostbusters thing was far too surreal and cringeworthy. Its almost as if someone else wrote this chapter :( Good luck with DLP.
witowsmp chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I loved the way the Ghostbusters theme was used in this chapter!
LddStyx DLP-lurker chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I believe it's been said. The beginning of the year song has been done. And a lot of the times it's been a sign of doom. Hope that Snape will make for a great adversary as a scientifically literate person. Make Hermione more human, she is at the moment a well played PC, but not an actual human being.

Also the number of reviews can easily go to ones head, I'd recommended keeping to your plan to just change the mistakes pointed out and maybe change the things that were predicted by the Fans. Also, I hope none of the positive predictions come trough without more reinforcement. Like the Harry/Luna Ship, Redemption!Draco, Confident!Neville, and so on.

I only want to say best of luck!

DLP will shred you for this chapter..

".. no-one's ever thought to ask me about my making!"
Disgruntled Reviewer chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I find the fact that you misuse psychological concepts to be more or less annoying.

Your character development is lazy at best and your humor tends to be ill-timed or mostly just worth a chuckle or two.

The fact that you intended to fanfic to be taken as a drama first with only comedy components speaks more, since your drama bits are so poorly written that people seem to be taken it as weird crackish humor.

You seem to think that your fanfiction is good because it isn't predictable.

That makes me chuckle a little. An unpredictable story, is a bad story. End of story.

You might ask why. Because of flow kid. If your story does not flow in a way that makes sense from one point to another, it would make sense to the readers. It will break their attention. Points you want to make to them will be lost, what is suppose to be dramatic becomes uninteresting and people realize they are reading a story.

But that does not mean you should write a story where it is so predictable that everyone can guess your plot. There are some books like this, but to just name a recent one there is Twilight in which one page into the book you already know how the book is going to play out.

To sum it up.

Your characterization is lazy and sketchy.

Your plot is boring and too jumpy to make for a good read.

Your justification is misguided and often poorly researched.

All in all, it's not that great of a story.

Oh and I'm going to wager you'll do one of two things. The most likely is he is to be sorted into two seperate houses. the other is that he's going to be 'unsortable'
RiceFlower chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
OMG, this story is fantastic. Please don't let it fall to the wayside as so many authors tend to do. I really want to see how this turns out in the end!
hordac85 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
great work
Katamabob chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Ooh, fun _ Poor Sorting Hat, never had to deal with sommat like this before...

My guess of what happens? Uh... the Sorting Hat refuses to sort the Devil Boy? :D

Heidinanookie chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I won't dare to assume I know what will happen (and I don't want to know! I like that this story does surprise me!) but I have to criticise that you put Neville in Hufflepuff. Have you read book 7? He's a Griffindor, if ever I've seen one! A lion through and through!

I'm a little disappointed that we didn't get to see Harry interacting with the arrogant prefects, though.

I wouldn't have guessed that Harry had it in him to participate in something as childish as the Ghostbuster-Dance... You get points for trying to make him more like a kid.

Gah, and I want to read Harry's Sorting NOW! Please hurry with the next chapter :D

Cinnabar Kalika Marin chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Great story! I am awful at guessing where a story will go, so I won't even try. Thank you for the laughs.
Horace Nihil chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Gah ! The cliffie of doom (*sob*). I *do* hate you.

Keep posting anyway.
GryffindorDragon chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Interesting story but a bit strange. Sorry to say but a bit boring at times; I have to force myself then to keep reading until something interesting comes along - maybe the development is a tad slow.

The last line: who knows what has never happened to the hat before, though I doubt its "no one has asked me a question before." Something strange is going on with Harry (unless his being so out of character is just part of this universe); I think McGonagall hit upon earlier when she questioned whether Harry had been abused which he so vehemently denied (methinks he doth protest too much), though that may just be one of the various nods at how this is different from canon (like the snide remark about "what weird alternate universe," the irony being that this story and not canon is actually the weird alternate universe); perhaps Harry has been obliviated (but then so would Petunia etc.) or maybe he isn't actually Harry Potter. There, there's your review, you review whore.
Zicou chapter 9 . 4/2/2010


Cain Raiser chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Hilarious, its the first word that came to mind during Harry's intro. I could just picture all of the staff bobbing their head to the rhythm. I have no idea what the last sentence is talking about, even if I did, I wouldnt want to know the entire plot, since there would be no fun in that at all. Good job with the song, first day at school and Harry has already caused mass chaos. While it was mostly the twins and Jordan, canonHarry would have surely been frightned if they had bust into song about him.
HarnGin chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Evil authors: They get us really into the chapter and 'lo and behold it stops for a cliff-hanger (or is is ar?)!

Regardless, this chapter was highly entertaining. It gave me a great mental picture of kazoo-playing children attired in black singing while all the adults look around in various states from confusion to amusement to horror. Needless to say, I loved it!
amalin06 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
i just get so excited when i see my email and it says that you posted another chapter. I really like this story and you are doing a great job. Keep it up.
Bob chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
don't know what the last sentence means and don't really care yet. just wanted to say i love the story and really hope that it never fails. thanks for writing.
Elliot Green chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I assume the last line is referring to some being in the hat or maybe even the hat itself that's surprised that Harry's actually asking questions, which doesn't make any sense since lots of people are inquisitive, although maybe not one with a mind like Harry's. Although you are pretty unpredictable so I wouldn't be surprised if there was actually a tiny invisible elf living in the top of the hat that is actually the one who sorts people. That would be weird, though.

I actually like your story a lot, it makes my day better to see that there's a new chapter up. I honestly don't see it failing. I really like your writing style, and the absence of terrible grammar and bad spelling.
Meteoricshipyards chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
And the sorting hat answered, 'No. Yes. No. No. Yes and no, next time don't ask double questions. No.' and out loud, "RAVENCLAW!"

Great story. I have _no_ idea where you are going with this, but I'm enjoying the ride.

Your AN reminded me of a poem I read in the SIGART journal of the ACM in the early 80's:

"The Quark, said the Bellman, suppressing his alarm, "Although it's quite transparent, has beauty and has charm." - _The Hunting of the Quark, author lost along with my access to the journal.

(I remember more of it if you are interested.)

Looking forward to more.

Tom A.
Jedi Buttercup chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
So, instead of privately replying to concerned readers or ignoring them, you're going to taunt them as a group. Fair 'nuff, though that seems rather counterproductive.

I'm still *interested* in this story, due to its uniqueness and humor, but that interest has declined with each of the last three chapters. Bonus points to you for originality; negative points for hubris.
Errrrr chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Incredible use of the Ghostbusters song. Really ingenious.
blue artemis chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I have two theories. Either Harry can't be sorted into any house at all, or the hat really can't get into his mind.

I'm sure I'm not getting the whole plot though. I love the idea of the Ghostbusters theme.
jojobevco chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
My guess is that the Sorting Hat never found anyone it couldn't sort, never found someone so complicated that it feels like blowing a proverbial gasket.

Even if i got it wrong, Good Chapter
SpiceChai chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I hiccupped with laughter in a public library.

you may have nearly 1500 reviews, but i have no doubt that even one is not absolutely deserved. thanks for this story that makes me want to throw all my self respect to the wind.
phily chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Someone called this predictable ? Wow. Just ... .

Anyway, if I have a complaint, it's that the chapters are a bit short, this here for example is just one scene; but that's offset by the update frequency so far.

As for the last sentence (I'm still indecisive if I would actually want everything spoiled, but since I love spilling out crackpot theories anyway, here goes ...), I had a few ideas so far ... First, he is from somewhere/related to something that has 26-hour days. This might be an obscure planet (alien symbiotes ?) or on of the solar systems many moons (I didn't check all their day lengths, but it can't be a planet or our moon) or possibly even from the future at the same time (as earth's day lengthens around 15 microseconds a year, something like that just might be theoretically possible ...).

By the way, that 26-hour day should be awfully useful once he gets his hands on a time turner - or it might even justify him getting on early, but that would be a utter horror to a certain professor ... .

Option number two, the hat might refer to Harry asking it questions (though that would be sort of the trivial option) or him asking it about earlier student.

Three, Harry can't be sorted, because he fits in nowhere. Considering his view of the houses, that shouldn't be a surprise, considering his attitude towards 'normal' (as in average) social interactions (waste of time), he can't be in Hufflepuff. Gryffindor is equally unlikely, since he dismisses them as "wannabe heroes". He surely is ambitious enough for Slytherin, but nothing he would consider important would have any significance for most of them - which is mutual. This leaves Ravenclaw, but I can't see him valuing just learning above a glass of water - he seems more like the person to want to understand everything, but ignore simple encyclopedic knowledge (which might turn Hermione incredibly scary if he rubs that off on her). If McGonagall is right however (but as she is not a Ravenclaw herself, she might be wrong just as well), and he is the most Ravenclaw person she has ever heard of (wouldn't that make him more Ravenclaw than Ravenclaw herself ?), than he would fit there perfectly, but most Ravenclaws would done a lot of things woefully wrong. So, in the end, while I think Ravenclaw is the least unlikely, I'm still at a loss.

Thinking back a bit to earlier chapters, I found myself agreeing on a few things related to some characters, especially your interpretation of Draco and Ron (serriously, he is a foil at best and a reader avatar at worst), similarily, Hermione would be a far better Ravenclaw than she is a Gryffindor in my opinion, though she might have been shoved into Gryffindor to keep all the main characters there. Glancing a bit into the crystal ball, Luna and Harry will have some hilarious interactions, but I'm not quiet sure how and where Ginny would fit into all this, due to sympathetic POV, her characterisation early on is awfully thin (It has been a long time since I read the canon books, but I think she was developed more in fanfics then there), and since I can't remember her even meeting Harry here, she should be sufficiently derailed to give you carte blanche, so I'll just hope she turns into something interesting as I don't like wasted characters much.

I think I forgot one or two really of the wall theories regarding that last sentence ... oh well, if I suddenly remember another idea, free review to you !
baduqwa chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Did Harry just download the hat into his head?
what are you even saying chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
You're right, I have absolutely no idea what that last sentence is in reference to. I wouldn't want to know your plot even if I did, though. The surprise is half the fun!

Looking forward to more.
Phalanx chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Somewhere in a high apartment building, my neighbours must be getting nervous at the sound of peal after peal of uncontrolled hysterical laughter coming from my room.

I particularly loved the part about the Great Bookstore Raids. Now that brings me back.

I'm pretty sure you must be setting some sort of record for but I don't think you need me to tell you that.

This version of Harry is interesting. 100% insufferable genius, with an ego that wouldn't fit into his enchanted trunk, but a heart of gold that wouldn't either.

ps: I spy with my little eye... a Monty Python skit...
BoomboomPOWWWW chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Well, since you asked I may as well try and guess. Although I'm probably wrong. So the sorting hat is probably talking about two things. The first thing is that nobody has ever asked it (him) so many questions, and second... Harry has all the traits of all the houses, hard-working, studious, cunning and brave, so the Hat don't know where to sort him. )

Anyhow, I really like this chapter! Great job!
Anonymous123987 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
First of all, great story. One the most original I've ever read.

Second, please don't have Fred and George constantly finishing each others sentences. They do it two or three times in canon to mess with people. The idea that they do it more is one of the more irritating parts of fanon.

Third, I'm pretty sure the "Main" voice is either Gryffindor's or a fusion of all four founders', and this "Secondary" voice is one of the other's, probably either Ravenclaw or Slytherin, though I suppose it could be Hufflepuff.

As for what it's talking about, I'd say it either:

A. Can't tell which house to sort Harry into. Possibly because of the scar, possibly because his Ravenclaw/Slytherin charcteristics are just too equal.

B. This is the first time anybody's tried to have an extended coversation/interrogation with it.

or C. This is the first time anybody's ever asked it about another student's thoughts, and it doesn't want to break Magic Hat/Student Confidentiality.

Of course, those are all just guesses. In any case, keep up the good work.


Haud Nomen
Vienna Marx chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
bwahahahaha! *Falls off desk chair*

You have no idea how much I love this story. I love the Ghostbuster touch. I can't wait to see what house Harry is in and what mischief he will cause. Poor Professor McGonagall! Lol. Can't wait till the next chapter! - Symphy
happylady chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
You are so mean, really a cliff? " Maybe Lady Hogwarts has

enter his mind "

Oh well, post more soon

Until next time

kewr69 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Great chapter and I'm not gonna answer the challenge because it could ruin the story for me if I am right and then get the plot. tell the people who are being stupid to shut up and write it as you the author see fit to write and be done with it. Thanks for sharing your writing talents and keep it up, I for one am looking forward to the next 10 chapters. and maybe sequel to this story.
Caliko chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
/snicker/ oh dear is right.. lol. Look, I don't know if it will be ever finished, but, I AM ENJOYING THE RIDE WHILE IT LASTS! lol ignore those buffoons that are doubting you. this is FUN. And it serves Dumbles right to get an intellectual instead of a real hotheaded hero!

POWER TO THE NERDS! :) (can you tell what clique I was in in high shol? It took me over 30 years to just enjoy my weird, quirky self, and not lust after popularity)

And, Harry is JUST the bit of common sense that the wizarding world needs.. though.. i will admit, most genius' (myself included), are all brains, no common sense. Notice, I said MOST. :) I mean, there might be one or two with common sense.. but why worry when you can be lost in your favorite subject? (mine is history, Psychology, and english - Science, I can understand, but it's too concrete for me.)
DarkHeart81 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I don't see this fic as predictable. Brain's, I mean Harry's actions are so out of the ordinary that I think it's hard to be predictable as even logic doesn't dictate how he will react to something.

I'm not sure why people thought Lee Jordan having a spider in a box was some big plot hole. Only real plot that could come from it would be a reason for Ron to not sit with his brothers.

As for the last sentence... The most obvious and up front answer would be that no one has ever rambled off so many questions to the Sorting Hat before, or at least not questions of that nature since it's hard to believe that no student has ever asked it questions in the 10 years since the school was created. Second option is that the Sorting Hat really has no clue as to where to sort Harry. Then there's always the possibility that it's not the Sorting Hat that Harry hears but another voice, that of the founders or of Hogwarts itself, that is bemoaning having someone like Harry in the school as they just no what trouble the boy will stir up. lol I'm sure I'm probably not even close and can't wait to see what happens next!
AngelForm chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Like the crack about there not being much point to Raven claw if people like Hermione don’t get sorted there.
Potterworm chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Great chapter. I'm gonna take a stab at what the last line means, though my guess is a little predictable - the second voice is the hat's creator. Maybe.
WaxWings chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
This was a good chapter. Personally, I do not like fics with lavish pranks in the great hall., especially song and dance numbers. Certainly if you want to include pranks, I enjoy what was done to Neville and Hermione much more.

I do not know what type of fallacy it is, but I have also had that niggling fear in the back of my mind. That just as Harry feared flaming out too young, this fic might eventually lose its luster. I do not think that it is guaranteed to do so, and I hope that you will be able to keep up the same energy in your future updates.

I do not know what "this" in the final sentence means. It seems that during the rendition of "Ghost Busters" Harry started to show some very Gryffindorish traits and might be in danger of being sorted in Gryfindor.

Okay, my guess for "this". Harry is a legitamite heir of Gryffindor, but he will be sorted into Ravenclaw. The sorting hat has not had to sort a founder's heir into a different house before.

Good luck, and thanks for the update.
SeaStones chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I'm going to guess, but I would really rather not know the plot beforehand, thank you.

You obviously don't expect us to guess correctly, which means either that there are no clues to the correct answer, or that the clues that are given can only make sense in hindsight...

Nevermind, I can't think of anything you would have decided on. Harry has lice? Eh.

I think you should be careful with making the actions of the characters /likely/. Or, better yet, convincing the readers that the characters' actions are likely. I had a hard time viewing the whole /Ghostbuster/ scene as, er, likely...

Oh, and an ellipsis should be followed by a period if it's the end of a sentence.
alex-uk chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
im a bit confused on what you mean by what 'this has never happened before' 'is talking about'...

but its propbly you taking your 40 year old child (love that, in another fanfic) adding a '800 year etc etc' and giving a meaning behind a sentince talking hat, i mean making a sectince talking hat JUST to sort 11 year olds is like REALLY stupid like gryffindor stupid but not ravenclaw or slytherin stupid and as slytherin has already hiding a massive chamber under the school why not tons of infomation in a hat thats got its own mind...

in fact its most likely that the hat wasnt created to sort kids but to act as a portable libary, afterall what use is a massive libary in a jungle as your facing a nundu or something, WELL have no fear for your wearing the sectince portable libary hat. but after the founders died and time passes its forgot what its orignal purpose is and is used to sort 11 year olds...

not sure if that actually answers the question or not, lol.

SensiblyTainted chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Good chapter. I loved McGonagall praying that he not be in Gryffindor! So funny! I loved the prank, too. I could actually hear the song in my head and see it being done. But I got a bit turned about with POV switching. First it seemed we were in Harry's head, then suddenly McGonagalls, and then Harry's again. And I was a bit confused at first if he even realized he was performing. The whole, they are cheering me becasue I saved them, thing. I mean, they would have cheered anyone who was under a spell and performed, yeah? So I thought maybe he didn't realize he was acting any different. Ahem... anyway. You're skill with plot, pacing, and theory being woven into a narrative is great, I just wanted to offer some constructive critisim instead of constant praise. That might be frustrating if you wanted to improve.

Anyway, the last line... Hm... I have a few guesses, and you didn't say we only had to say one... He's technically been sorted already since Voldie was sorted Slytherin? Or maybe he can't read his mind because he has natural Occlumency? As for the first, I can't see in the history of Hogwarts that someone hasn't been re-Sorted, so probably it's not that. As for the Occlumency, I'd think others may have mastered it at eleven possibly. Previous chapters did point out the odds of geniuses attending school. So here's my final guess, Harry's mind is too large to emcompass so the hat can't see every crevice to be able to Sort properly!


Anyway, um, I thought it cute that Harry was so black and white smearing the kids with the all Slytherins are evil, Ravenclaws are smart, stuff. I mean, there has to be a theory out there that would smack that around some. Like the theory of relativity where there are no absolutes. Anyway, I thought it was cute because it shows his age, which makes him susceptible to the same traps as other children face. Books and intelligence are one thing, but life experience another. Hahaha... He's gonna flip to meet Loony Luna in Ravenclaw or when he hears about the Cowardly Wormtail.
Neil chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
What an Evil Place to leave it, talk about a cliffhanger. Just what has Harry done to the Sorting hat? PPMS!
Cynestra chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I love your story. The idea is great and in this chapter I especially liked the ghostbuster song.
NoNameUser chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Wasn't that just too funny. He already had a list of pertinent questions to ask the sorting hat, and then, as an afterthought, decided to ask for the ancient secrets of magic. If it had time, of course.


I would say that the last line refers to no one ever having asked the sorting hat that last question, or any question at all, but that seems unlikely. It's been around too long for that. More likely, something is screwing with the hat's ability to sort through Harry's mind.

Probably by Voldemort's influence. Or maybe just Harry's ability to break (or confound) things.

But those are pretty easy guesses, so they're probably wrong. I have faith that you'll continue this story. You seem very organized, and just because I've never personally been able to finish a story doesn't mean you won't.


jamester56 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
congrats. this is the first non-cliched sorting I have ever seen! :) Just keep updating.
BDSanta2001 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
This story kicks ass. It's amazing that people would post anything negative about it.
greywizard-dumblemort chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I keep forgetting this fic is supposed to be part 'humour'... The, at times, dead seriousness of the plot interwoven with the lolz makes me forget that fact and once again I find myself caught off guard and mildly disappointed. I guess all those annoying adverts using the music from ghostbusters has given me a cringe reflex whenever that particular theme is mentioned.

In any case, as for the challenge- I'm guessing no one's going to get it. It can't be anything obvious and since this is the only fic you can be judged by no-one can really say you're one for the obvious.

My first thought is it had something to do with Harry's questions and the fact that perhaps the founders never thought a child of 11 just beginning his education would ever enquire any such thing of the sorting hat but then that in itself is obvious and not likely to be correct. Afterall, it would be foolishness to make it so that the hat could impart its secrets to anyone not on some prescribed 'block list'.

I'm curious though and I like a challenge so I can't help but keep the guesses coming. It could be anything from the hat finding Harry had some form of mental irregularity never before seen in the wizarding world- something akin to autism or the old classic simply being unable to read Harry. :S...too obvious.

The second to last line makes it sound as though the hat's gone a bit further than plain old telepathy though so it could be some weird semi-possession or maybe the hat gaining self-awareness in a terminator-esque, skynet twist. Who knows?

For that matter this chapter could be an elaborate April fool's joke since sadly, at times it reads like one. Snape and Mcgonagall seemed to be parodies of themselves.
Kalaras chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Those who are already saying you will fail have no faith in the scientific method! Every experiment indicates that this story is fully composed of Winosum. I await further experimental fodder with excitement!
TealTerror chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
This is a great story, although Harry is kind of a pompous asshole. Not necessarily a problem, just as long as he gets taken town a peg once in a while. Right now, he's pretty much a Marty Stu (a well-written one, but one nonetheless); but since I expect the other shoe to drop soon, I'm lenient about that.

Anyway, your plot and characters are generally great, especially your dialogue. A few random thoughts:

-Disappointed that Hermione went to Ravenclaw because a Gryffindor prefect was mean to Neville. I mean, seriously?

-You did come across like you were bashing Ron, and Author's Notes don't fix that. But I think this is an opportunity for Harry to be proven wrong (for once-despite his speech about needing to be afraid to be wrong, he's right an awful lot of the time). So do that, and this point will be forgiven.

-I still can't believe McGonagall didn't cuss him out for using her first name. That's beyond rude and moving into seriously disrespectful. But maybe that's also because I found myself to be siding with her more often than him in their confrontations (was I meant to do that?).

-I hope you don't have Harry give Neville "confidence" and thereby turn him into Book 7 Neville 6 years earlier. Don't get me wrong, Book 7 Neville is awesome, but that's because he was forced by the circumstances to be awesome. A few strategically-placed words can't substitute for your school being taken over by Wizard Hitler.

-On that note, I hope you don't turn Draco into a Paragon of Light either. Part of me actually kind of hopes that Harry fails at saving him, but if he succeeds, at least make sure Draco remains a jerk.

As for your "contest," it's pretty obvious. The Sorting Hat isn't reacting to the questions Harry asked-that's clearly a red herring. Rather, it's referring to the fact that there's more to this AU premise than just "Petunia didn't marry Vernon." Things like the 26-hour sleep schedule point to there being something else different about Harry, and that's what the Sorting Hat "saw" (and thus commented upon). Or in other words, something happened to Harry that has "never happened before," and the Sorting Hat saw it in his mind.

My shot-in-the-dark guess? He's a Peggy Sue (time traveler from the future) who Obliviated all of his future memories for some reason. The Sorting Hat is commenting on the fact that Obliviated time travelers from the future here to (presumably) Set Right What Once Went Wrong are not exactly a common occurrence.

Actually, come to think of it, that's not as crazy as it might first appear. This Harry just "knows" a lot of stuff he shouldn't (like that magic is real), and you've talked about Obliviating memories several times. Not to mention that entire part of McGonagall's speech that you can lose memories but not the feelings associated with them, which is a Chekhov's Gun if I've ever seen one.

Anyway, no matter what it is, I imagine it's almost CERTAINLY related to that whole 26-hour sleep schedule thing, and probably also to Harry's intuitions about things like magic existing, or that the world "Voldemort" is bad news, or even perhaps his joke about the prophecy.

My e-mail address is , in case I got somewhere close. BTW, if by some off chance I did guess correctly, don't actually tell me the plot. I'd rather avoid spoilers if it could be helped. Maybe we can work out some other deal instead.

P.S.: If there's romance, I hope it's Harry/Luna. If only because Luna with this Harry would be one of the most hilarious things ever.
Maguchi chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I love this fic. Really I check my mail every day to see if you have update it :P, jeje.

I'm going to tell you what I think, of course given the state my mind is (I'm studing for an exam that is on monday and I started studing yesterday :S) it could be extremly wrong. So I'm going to tell you the simplest idea that pop my mind, I have some others but they need more time of thinking... I believe that what the Hat means is that no 11 year old has ever talk to him that way. No 11 year old has ever ask him question 'cause they are always afraid and nervous and excited and as Harry thought, he only speaks to 11 years old and that happens once a year, so this is a new experience for Him, the Hat, jajaja.

Of course it could mean that the Hat doesn't know where to put Harry but I have to meditate that second idea, of course, that's the first thing I thought when I first read your challenge, but as I started reading the chapter and the questions Harry asked I have to think about that.

Continue like this and don't let the reviews of mean, untalented people stop you.
hjcallipygian chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Oh, he just confirmed everything Snape suspected without any recourse to change it, didn't he? But the mental image is hilarious, I must say. Oh, this Harry Potter might be the one to fulfill my ultimate Hogwarts dream: someone to charm a girl by singing, "You've Lost That Loving Feeling," to her in the Great Hall.

As for what happens with the sorting hat, I'd say that the clear order of Harry's mind allows the hat to see the distinct differences between the piece of Voldemort's soul and Harry's. But that seems obvious. So my guess is pie. You mentioned pi earlier, clearly that was foreshadowing. It's pie. That's what sets Harry apart from others.

I'm really excited to read all about the plot to this story, by the way. Thanks for the offer. I'm glad my epic awesomeness allowed me to figure it out.
Dreamweaver Mirar chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Funny chapter, though sadly short D:

I would guess, but I really don't want to know the plot xD
Zynglyph chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
My guesses

''I've never been a participant in a non-canonical sequence''

''I wasn't supposed to break the fourth wall''

''I've been stuck in the past!''

''This accident has given me the ability to communicate mentally''

''The SCP foundation shouldn't have been involved this early''

''You aren't supposed to be able to remember that''

''You're immune to the rationality-suppressing field of hogwarts''

''You just gave enough information to someone to cause something bad to happen''

''A crippling medical condition!''
jesusfreak100percent chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Hmm... the last line. The fact that you're confident no one will guess it means it's 1. not obvious and 2. probably something you're bringing into the plot later on (e.g. next chapter).

So, it can't be the fact Harry is a Horcrux, or started a conversation with the hat. It could possibly be that Harry wants to know about other people (aka Tom Riddle) but you know enough that it's very unlikely no other student ever asked to know about someone else.

It could be about the lost magics that created you... but that's also unlikely. Anyone curious and smart would ask that, and it wouldn't give us an "Oh dear" reaction...

The way you wrote it made it sound like the hat was just talking about Harry.

Anyways, the truth is, I don't know, and I don't really want to know the plotline anyways. And you're probably reading this and laughing at all my guesswork. And I don't even know if you're reading this - 9 chapters, over 10 reviews? You'd be up all night trying to keep up.

The story's great so far - factual (where it's supposed to be), funny, a bit of an evil Harry - but only in the amusing "What, evil?" kind of way, not the "I want to kill you all" kind of way.

:) Please continue
Farelios chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
It appears that you had some of the reviewers who dumpened your spirits a bit, so I'll try to get it back up by a positive comment:)

The story is great, the pacing is very good, and you keep predictability quite close to zero (apart of somewhat changed canon story line so far, but that is to be expected and will be edited much more soon, I believe). It does concern me if (not when) you'll run out of scientific terminology to name your chapters with at some point, but I can't imagine that happening soon. Of course, if you have the whole plot figured out already, even that won't be the problem.

About the challenge: even though I can see quite a lot of ideas of what the Hat could be thinking right now, from canon I take he/she/it's not very interested in any kind of outside matters. So the logical conclusion will be either his (Harry's) questions (unwillingness to be sorted was a normal matter in the "burn the witch" era) or the whole structure of his mind altogether. Both seem good enough, though you seem hellbent to prove your readers common expectations wrong, so that ideas could too, perish without as much as a goodbye. Still, my bet is "common expectations" for the name of the next chapter just because:)

Can't wait 'till tomorrow, cheers,

Puidwen chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
poor hat
DarkPencil chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
NO! don't stop here!

p.s. - did harry do the dance/song willingly or was it magic?
J.D. Nicholai chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I'll bite on the question, for amusement:

There are many things that are likely to have happened before, but are unusual.

-been treated like an entity before "Hi Mr. Hat!"

-been told to not do something "I don't want to be here, don't make me stay"

-been asked random questions "Oh, are you alive Mr. Hat?"

-sorted Harry/horcruci/etc (Canon)

The only thing that hasn't happened before in his situation when contrasted with canon is a trained scientist with an adult understanding of the current capability of the muggle world. "So that's how an atom bomb works!" In a previous chapter Harry was going over the odds of an 11 year old muggleborn being chosen that had this type of background, and determined he was likely the first.

Other Random possibility: There's so much new information in Harry that the hat is assimilating, and a fail safe is talking to him as opposed to the hat itself (such as a professor, a creator, etc).

Another random possibility: With knowledge and effort, a scientist such as Harry can use something as simple as that drink to do something far far more powerful than the creator imagined. What if spilling his drink required an earthquake since it was so secure?
bullseye89 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Sweet Jesus and the holy immaculate virgin. I just read your story, and it made so hyper that it took me four hours to read it for all the excited speculation I've made about the plot line as well as research to make sure you're not making this shit up. Please be aware i mean shit in the since of it's more positive slang definition denoting something both good and unbelievable. The feeling is somewhat reminiscent to, and yet exponentially smaller finding out you won the lottery, though this is an assumption i don't actually know what winning the lottery feels like.

Positive reinforcement first then i think. We'll keep this brief since my complements could perhaps word count out to the approximate number near this chapter. The story's concept is catching in much the form as House, or his cultural ancestor Homes. You're pulling a lot out of content that many authors consider nothing, and you do it well. An example being the two chapter train ride. This is without a doubt the smartest Harry I've ever read. I hesitate to call him a genius since I don't recall him doing anything new, but i will say that brilliance in this story makes for a much more fun read. It seems that at every turn you have me in stitches in my chair, pumping my fist in the air for Harry's intellectual triumph, or reading in rapture as you cover deep topics I've never heard of prior but very much enjoy. If your hidden goal of this story is to sway people to your opinion then you are living proof that the pen is mightier then the sword.

I'm afraid i can't think of anything constructively negative at this point since the few I'm sure are their are barried beneath the stories...epicness i suppose. The only thing i can think of is perhaps pace, but i dare not complain because what lack for in pace you make up for in content. Plus pace is in my opinion one of those lofty relative writing terms that professors love to use to lower the grades of students they don't like enough to subconsciously grade a little meaner.

Now for my guesses, I have two. The first that that is the end of the sentence and that harry will respond with an unknown question to spur the mysterious voice into a more in depth explanation. The second and perhaps more likely is that you are writing this by the seat of your pants and you won't write the exact beginning until you read your reviews to make sure that what you write in no way resembles anything in your reviews. If i am right, please don't send me the plot, the satisfaction of knowing i was is enough.
best fic ever chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
Lee Jordan" sounds like a Muggleborn name to me 2

so on the 3/4/10 your going updats i cant waite

best fic i read in a long time

"RAVENCLAW! here we come
GreekGoddessHestia chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
... I fell off my bed because I was laughing so hard.
Celestial Moonwalker chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
As much as I would like to go into the guess game - I really am not sure exactly WHAT the Hat is referring to.

And I don't particularly care to know the rest of the plot.

It might as well be referring to Harry himself as a phenomena.
Toirtil chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
A very well done story, hard to find them now.

As for the guess work I would have to say after reading some of the other reviews that the acronim KISS (keep it simple stupid) works best since in the cannon works the hat admitted to Harry that it was his choice that was the real decision that sorted him. Add this with what most children are like at the age of eleven (pure-blood or not) then the likely reason for the hat's saying "Oh, dear. This has never happened before..." would be simply because of Harry's first words to it "Don't Sort me yet!". Because of this the hat has its first instance of being UNABLE to sort some-one.

Keep up the good work.
liathum chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I can't tell you how much I love this story. It're terrific.
cheekylildevil chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
As of now, you have 1421 reviews, so I salute you. However much it pains me to say this, this chapter has, unfortunately, been the worst you've written. Putting in a song, not to mention Harry actually joining in, threw me right off. I personally wouldn't have thought that he would have done that, and it sort of stopped me from connecting with him, also, leaving the chapter where it was wasn't really enough of a cliffhanger for you to get away with it.

I swear that I will try to forget my distaste with this chapter and enjoy it anyway though, for on the whole this has been very good, and I am glad that you know where it is going.


KatTastic chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I think the sorting hat's line was the best.. "Oh dear.."

BURN3 chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I'm sorry but this chapter was a dud. I didn't seem to fit the previous chapters at all. The song was kinda painful to read. Please don't let your tale fall into the trap of the never ending story like Bexis and the Fifth Element. Great concept but crap execution. Have a beginning, middle and end, ya know? While I didn't like this chapter I do very much like the story so far as a whole. Keep it up.
NATWEST chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
I just love your story its was funny what you did. i thought you will make min pray when she called harry name. I just can't wait for the next.
firelordeg chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LMAO thank you for the fantastic chapter please update again a.s.a.l.a.
shenmi meiren chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
ghost busters?

i loved that song when i was little... it was so... optimistic ;]

and i so cannot understand why "truth" and "beauty" went out of use :(

anyway - not even gonna try to guess - why potentially spoil the fun?

i love mcgonagall praying :D
The French Dark Lord chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
The man who said this was going to be a massive fail is the dumbest asshole the world has ever seen!


Lol I guess the Sorting hat didn't see it coming!
j hellfire chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
9 chapters and i'm still in awe of this story

Thanks for the update
sachaelle chapter 9 . 4/2/2010

great fic

make me laugh

the last line is the spirit of Hogwarts through the sorting hat and he cant sort Harry cause he had some of a little four in him and none is prominant
Sayan Kotor chapter 9 . 4/2/2010
as always it's very good... but this one chapter was so short it was disappointing... I know u'll post the other tomorrow... I should have just waited and read both at the same time
dougal74 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Another great chapter.

I've no idea what is going to happen in part two, but as a bit of fun and guessing I would say the old hat explodes because of intense Potter overload.
Lthayer3 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Honestly, I didn't much care for this chapter. The first eight were brilliant, but this one just doesn't seem to fit right. And it wasn't even very funny - just an over the top attempt at insanity. Stick with what was working. If you didn't intend the story to be funny, go with what you originally wanted to write, not with what you think people want you to write.

I really hope it is some zany April Fools joke, because it is so different from the serious/thoughtful/amusing tone of the rest of the story. The song wasn't funny, it didn't match Harry's personality as established so far, and there is no reason that so many people in the school would actually know it.

Anyway, good job so far, I guess. Don't let your review whore tendencies (and A/N size) get carried away, though, as that is the fastest way I have seen an author lose a following.
M.J.L.337 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Still going great! Don't let the few flamers get you down. Great job with the Ghostbuster song btw.
AiSard chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
ah, almost wished this was an April Fools joke ~_~ meh, I just dont particularly like songs getting written in like that i guess.

anyways, absolutely loved this fic. but this chpt was a bit like a slap in the face, had to double check that this was Methods of Rationality and not some other crack-ish fic cuz it read nothing like the preceding chapters / anyways, with that bit of lunacy out of the way, I do look forward to just what the Sorting Hat is referring to.
Mastigo chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I'm not even going to guess since I wouldn't want the prize to spoil my reading. I'm just glad to hear you've already got things plotted and planned out, as that makes it far more likely for the story to finish
Dream Pyre chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
"A number of online reviewers say they already hate this fic because they think it's bound to fail at some future point. I don't even know a name for that fallacy." That would be called stupidity, I believe, if apparently justified by an admitted tendency for good writers to become busy, improve enough that they decide their previous works are not worth completing, or just lose interest. They seem to have missed that reviews are more than enough to keep bribing you to write...

(On a side note, I really find it a bit sad that you are so much of a review whore, since you are genuinely a very good writer.)

As to the last sentence... well honestly I don't want to know the rest of the plot, what would be the point of reading the rest? However... my first thought would be that that is the end of the sentence, though the sorting hat may continue talking in another sentence. The obvious trick would be for it to end with "except for Tom Riddle" or "except for Dumbledore," but it seems unlikely you'd use something that obvious when you were just pointing out how unpredictable the story is, and asking about the end implies that there is more to it than a final".". Of course I would not put a trick like that past your version of Harry in the least, and if your character can do something you must be able to think of it as well, but I'm hoping you'll be a bit nicer to your readers than that.

So... I really don't have any guess that I'd be willing to put any certainty behind. Perhaps something like 'but I can answer, though I don't have time now, so you'll have to find and talk to me later,' or 'I really don't have the answers to some/all of those questions.'

Anyway, this story is hilarious and among the best I've seen. I'm sure the actual end to the sentence is far better than what I've thought up. Good job!

(Oh, and I'd suggest you check out A Second Chance At Life and its sequels, if you haven't already. The third is updated slowly, but the first two are finished and it's quite an interesting trilogy.)
Kittenn1011 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
The only thing I have to say about the end of the chapter is: Please please please please please don't mean that he's in a super-special house with only him. I know this fic doesn't feel like it's going in that direction, I've seen a perfectly good fic do it before... *shudders*

But anyways, this story has been absolutly amazing so far! I love it! Creative and original! Keep up the good work and update soon!

LoireLoa chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
LMAO! I LOVE IT! "Who you gonna call? Harry Potter!" Someone needs to make a YouTube video of that so I can download it as my ringtone!
Steven Kodaly chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
"A number of online reviewers say . . . they think it's bound to fail at some future point." Oh, pul-leze; faith manages.

"Oh, I'm the Sorting Hat and I'm okay, I sleep all year and I work one day..." I suppose that a telepathic hat _would_ pick up some information on Monty Python sketches. Between this and your dropping Tom Lehrer's name earlier, the temptation to increment your marriage proposal count by one is incredible.

"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..." Okay, I'll take on your challenge. The most outlandish thing I can imagine is that the Hat has gotten a glimpse of the story plot, and staring past the Fourth Wall has broken its mind. But that's nonsensical, and can be dismissed. The canon!hat pontificated on Harry having qualities making him suitable for any house at Hogwarts, but did not mention anything about him having company in his head, so we can (probably) rule out the Hat being concerned by a Horcrux/phylactery. Even if the Hat has detected more than one person in Harry's head, surely there must have been at least one student in the past who had been mentally unstable.

Ooh, all these assumptions I'm making; I'm very bad at science, aren't I?

So, with those possibilities struck, what else can we examine? Something occurring during the Sorting? Fred, George and Lee pulling a prank can't be new -

Oh. Severus has destroyed a goblet this early into the school year. It's a new record for him, isn't it? That's what the mysterious voice - presumed to be the Sorting Hat, as it being anyone else poses even more questions - is commenting about. If I recall correctly, the Hat is perfectly capable of interacting with the Headmaster during the school year, and would thus be quite familiar with both Dumbledore and anyone who steps into his office regularly; assuming that Dumbledore allows the Hat access to his mind, the Hat would thus have a fairly reliable measure of Snape's displays of temper from an outside source.
Tess chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
"Oh dear, this has never happened before"

Hat reviewed the number of times the deputy headmasters and mistresses had bargined with it prior to sorting a student to keep it out of one house or another in exchange for getting the hat some of that sweet ganja. There were many in its memory. Neil Woodshot, Slytherin. Would have made a fine Grifindor. Rebecka Chance - destined for Hufflepuff if not for the Fat Friar stepping in and warning the hat that the girl needed to go somewhere more would be expected of her due to obvious lack of self discipline. Okay. And yesterday, while speaking with the current deputy - Harry Potter.

Hat thought for a moment.

"Helo? Can you hear me? I can hear you. Or at least, I think I can hear something other than my own thoughts-"

Hat tuned that out while it pondered. If it put the boy in Griffindor, he would likely not get high for many years to come. Minerva would eventually be Head of the school, and that meant possibly decades.

Well, there was nothing for it.

The Hat tuned in the young man Harry Potter beneath. "-and if you're still there please say something!"

The hat opened its brim wide to shout,
yoyoente chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I must say, I'm glad that after chapter five I learned not to be drinking or eating anything while reading this, because I think I would have choked to death when you brought the ghostbusters theme song into the mix...ingenious..truly.

If the last line was really the Sorting Hat then there's many possible reasons behind it. He could be surprised that someone was actually questioning him, that there was a child prodigy, that the child was correct in his guess about the 'Dark Lords ghost being tied to his scar', or what I really wish would be the case is that the voice is not the Sorting Hat at all but really Dumbledore troubled because the Hat has in fact LEAPT from Harry's head screaming and wailing...yes, that would be wonderful. Maybe McGonagall would have to rethink her scepticism of Divination since she'd prophecized such a thing to happen...but who knows?

What I really want to know though is if Severus was so upset because of the song, or if he had just realized that the boy he'd spoken with in the Potions shop and possible actually liked was Harry Potter, the son of his school nemesis, and the child that he SHOULD be making life a living hell for, if for nothing else than to help his position as a spy.

I do wonder if you are planning to remove the horrible plot hole that was Tom Riddle and make him actually sane and devious...and if you are, what he thinks of this obvious ODD Harry Potter...

So many questions...
Orchamus chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
This fic truly is a masterwork of brilliant madness. Every chapter I get the urge to cackle madly.
Modulus chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
This has got the be one of the best ever HP fanfics with immense potential building up! I really liked logician!Harry and his impeccable scientific method. Will be keeping a close eye on this fic.
veale728 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I haven't read the other reviews, so I don't know if this has been said before: it's the piece of Voldemort, the horcrux, talking.

Having said that, another excellent chapter. Write faster, longer, etc.
Dormant Account 24 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Unfortunately I've heard a lot from nay-sayers on other boards. It happens when a unique and popular story comes along. I applaud your determination to ignore them, urge you to no even bother addressing them, and just continue this great story.
Brother Bludgeon chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Well, in order to deduce the meaning of the last line, we must first rule out the most unlikely conclusions.

First, to put the sentence into the proper context, we must determine the speaker. By young Harry's perception, the voice was completely internalized, sounding in the same space as his unspoken thoughts. Legillimency was not shown to have this ability, and the Imperius Curse involved the issuing of a command rather than an observation. Voldemort, the wraith leeching from Quirrel or the soul fragment in Harry's scar, each have been known to affect the boy on the mental plane, but the element of worry in the voice disqualifies him. Therefore, the magical intelligence in the Sorting Hat is the most likely speaker.

Now, if it is the Sorting Hat speaking, the reason for its concern are limited to the precious seconds of experience atop Harry's head. Also, what was seen here must be weighed against Rowling's canonical interplay between the Hat and a Dursley-raised Harry. That mental conversation, from start to finish, can function as a control group, insomuch as the Sorting Hat would NOT have made this comment to a Dursley-raised Harry with no agenda beyond a chanting of "Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin."

It stands to reason, then, whatever in this situation is identical to the canonical sorting would not have prompted this reaction from the Hat because, in that instance, it didn't. Harry's scar Horcrux alone would not have been enough to worry the Sorting Hat, for this reason.

It is the differences, then, that will tell. So, what is different? Harry's intelligence? Unlikely, child prodigies are rare but a school open since the sixth century would have seen and sorted at least one. His personality quirks like the 26 hour schedule or his borderline insanity are worrisome, but a weak plot twist from a narrative standpoint. A false lead would be to suggest that Harry was the first to ask the Hat to use its mind reading abilities proactively, and it is rather likely that no eleven-year-old in front of a crowd of strangers would have the presence of mind to make such a request, but why the concern when the questions themselves are valid and largely bonum commune communitatus.

I believe it's not one of these elements, rather a combination of two. The questions themselves were the not the source of Sorting Hat's worries, rather they were the hiss that revealed the serpent. Because, whether or not Rowling had thought that far ahead whilst writing her first book, the reality is that Harry's scar contained a Horcrux when he was sorted. Questions from a Harry guessing far too close to the mark would've been enough for the Hat to take a second look, which would've revealed the truth.

It was the first time the Sorting Hat had ever mistakenly read a soul fragment as potential for greatness in Slytherin.

I could be wrong, but I could be right.

Blessed be,

-Brother Bludgeon
twilight's reflection chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
This story is FANTASTIC! It's quite hilarious, and I'm learning quite a bit of logic, too. I'll admit, I was a bit concerned that this was going to be a Super!Harry fic, and that he'd have too easy a time with the obstacles he faces, but I'm quite confidant that in your capable hands it will not. So keep up the good work!
Reaper Of All Souls chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
This is an amazing piece of work, I spent near 30mins trying to figure out the end, and the best I could figure is that Harry is either the reincarnation of a (in)famous witch or wizard, or no one has ever asked the sorting hat any of those questions (Which is hard to believe as the hat would ask that itself, which would make the voice sound in his head, not soul.) Maybe the "Spirit" of the hat has entered Harry's body and he will go through life with the hat's knowledge?

I doubt any of these are right, but it never hurts to take a stab at things, unless they stab back.

If p then q chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I do believe this is my current favorite fanfiction to date.

The subject matter is humorous, and as an xckd reader I understand quite a few of the intelligentsia that is going on- but what I don't know is easy to guess from context or is a mere Google search away.

I love unpredictability. I myself insist upon a predominantly chaotic stack of papers as my primary organization efforts. I view it as upholding the law of entropy in my daily life. Why fight what the universe naturally moves towards? Although structured randomness actually frequently results rather than true anarchy.

I hope that the whole Draco thing will be resolved. I agree in the manner of instruction a pureblood would likely give their son. Is Harry truly trying to reform Draco or simply using him as a conduit of information about his world?

I question: Will Harry institute a French Revolution of his own, shouting Viva La France? Perhaps if he does you should incorporate Hermione's SPEW into it. Hermione is a good topic of discussion as well; I feel she needs more dimensionality.

This is great work. Thanks for many small smiles and a few outright chuckles. Also thanks for a good update time.
Stormwind chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I hereby proclaim that this story have ascended from Cool status straight into Crazy Awesome.
savageorange chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
This fic is absolutely fascinating to read. I mean, it's a bit too talk-like-a-bookish (even ignoring harry's dialog), it's a really interesting topic you have chosen..

in your profile, you say:

"Originality isn't easy, but it is simple: Just don't do stuff that's already been done."

I believe you are defining originality too strictly. As far as I can see, you are defining it nearly out of existence, actually. In a sense, we each have our own unique culture (which is largely a sort of irregular sum of the cultures we've been exposed to). However if we confined ourselves to that part which was only our own, we may still have something to say, but we would have no means (shared culture) to communicate it by.

Mere imitation (making a story or artwork only out of the set of tropes that you currently find entertaining) isn't very interesting or sustainable, true.

We (creators and consumers) are much better served by picking topics we only know enough about to know we want to know more - ie choosing an interesting route, rather than one we 'know' will produce a result we like (or at least liked when starting out on it). There are many such topics, for anyone. If seriously approached, these can be very beneficial. But unless you suppose that your desires and curiousities are unique, the overall idea you are exploring cannot be reasonably considered original by your definition.

As for the last line: I'll go with a guess that harry's mental structure is simply an extraordinarily bad fit for the hat's methods. Along the lines of their minds being allergic to each other.
Europec chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Enjoyable story. Surprising take on the HP universe. The new magic parts are really good. I also laughed a lot. Interesting way to catch Draco into the muggle world and way to totally disarm and dismantle Hermione! I don't think I read any fic which did it that way yet. Cheers!
deitarionSSokolow chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I wish I could help you, but unfortunately, I'm not overly fond of guessing games... especially non-interactive ones. I tend to over-think things to the point where, if I'm wrong (which is more or less a statistical certainty), it's a major downer due to all the wasted time.

I can however tell you that the chapter was entertaining. Not quite as pleasing as some of the previous ones (which I'd rate as "5 out of 5 and then some") but good nonetheless. (I'd say a good, solid 4.5 out of 5... not that it's necessarily a bad thing. Not even Terry Pratchett can make every chapter a 5 out of 5. Heck, the only author I can think of who could do that was Douglas Adams... and I read a LOT of fiction)
PiecesOfSerendipity chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Brilliant! I loved his sorting. Well, what I've read so far. I have no idea what house Harry should be in - he's (extremely) ambitious, cunning, with a huge thirst for knowledge, witty, brave, noble (well, he wants to be their hero and he was against raping), hard-working and quite loyal. I don't think he'll fit into any.

The whole ghost-buster's thing was brilliant and I loved everyones reactions. I also thought Hermione going into Ravenclaw (which I kind of expected from the end of the previous chapter) was a great idea.

I'm not sure about the whole fearing Voldemorts name thing. I mean, sure, voldemorts scary but its a name. And as he has a bit of voldie's soul stuck in him, does that mean he's scared of himself?

I can't believe you have over 10 reviews in over 1 month! Has to be some kind of record.
Linnorria chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I am in love! Completely and utterly.

Considering what has happened so far I sincerely doubt I could ever come close to guessing what the sorting hat is talking about there at the end, since I doubt he is talking about the multitude of questions, or an inability to look into Harry's mind, or the founders' spirits fighting over who gets Harry, or Harry's mind being ten sizes too large to adequately Sort, or the fact that Harry is actually Merlin reincarnated... :D
gumba2468 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I have to admit that I didn't like this chapter. The whole singing portion came was totally unexpected (not in a good way). I am curious to see what comes next...
Looney the coon chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
The last line means that a part of Voldemort is in Harry's body, so a Hogwarts student (Voldemort, aka Tom Riddle) is going to be sorted twice!

And the story's awsome, as well.
leosands chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
You are a sick sick puppy. I have not laugh so hard since Fangalla Marie stop writing about Eppy the house elf. You should read her (if you haven't already) because you will find a kindred spirit. I am looking forward to the rest of the story amd please keep up the good work.
Anaerobie chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I don't think you're a review whore by the way. I would think more of a review bitch but I don't want to be privy to your private real life away from the screen.

As a response I would say that next chapter we will have an answer to the reaction of the ghost to Harry.

And please don't say He's Slytherin reincarnate because an old man like that isn't very palatable.

My first impression of the chapter is it is very very short.

And my second is I didn't receive my alert (start picking fork for absentee minded webmasters).

The fic is so mysterious I think it will find It's way to the end (but if you stop working on it).

I who await with impatience and growing difficulty the next chapter.


AN: You're not obligated to respect your planning but for Georges' sake make it long.
Eleanna chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
God I love this fic. It's so much fun and I adore the little twists and turns.

Got quite a chuckle out of your very first sentance. All of your bases...wasn't that big about 10 years ago? Anyway, I appreciate it.

Love the Ghostbusters reference. I can so see that happening! You are truly a good way.

Ok, I'll take a stab at where you are going with the Sorting Hat. The hat can't sort him as he has all of the characteristics of the houses and would do well in any and all.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

Thanks for such an amusing and interesting fic.

Thekilleregglord chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I'll make my guess.

The obvious answer is that it is talking about all the questions he asked, slightly less obvious but similar is that the had is talking about him being the the type of 11 year old to ask questions.

Further still, it might be that the piece of Voldemort's soul sets off the Sorting Hat's alarm, or it this were slightly more cliched that Harry has some secret magical power and/or lineage that is setting off all the bells.

But you said it would be tough to guess, so I don't think it is any of those. Rather, since it causes consternation to the sorting hat and the hat is only really concerned with its job, I think it has to do with the business of sorting itself.

From what we know, the hat places people in houses they 1) Choose like Harry, 2) will grow and succeed in, or 3) suited to by their character being shifted one way or another. From what you have shown of Harry, he is extraordinarily ambitious, bright, and hard working. Further I think this chapter shows a certain degree of bravery. I don't think the Harry you've written lends himself to being changed by his surroundings. Nor has he chosen explicitly. Since I don't think you'll fall prey to thinking that character traits can be quantitatively compared, this will leave the sorting hat with a person equally balanced between all houses.

So I predict that the sorting Hat won't be able to, by its programing as it were, make a decision. You will then use this to demonstrate some logical error in the solutions prepared to handle this problem.

Although if you were really just being a dick, you wouldn't have left any hints at all, and it will be a completely random thing. Or more deviously still, you'll check the reviews and pick something that no one guessed, supporting it with inferences you make up from the story to date - a error of causal reasoning I can't remember at the moment.
ss chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
please dont let this story deteriorate into some random crack fic. You can do better.
mucunagos chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
"Thinking, just as hard as he could: Don't Sort me yet! "

That is my wild guess no firstie has done before. Begging NOT to be sorted.

Ironsct chapter 9 . 4/1/2010

I just found this story yesterday and finished reading it just a second ago, and I loved it. SCIENCE! I love it!

Thank you for letting us read your work and I can't wait to read more of it.


Terris1 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010

Good idea to challenge us in interesting way to get people to be more active :)

Most likely this is not correct (too obvious), but my first guess is that Harry being founders heir or something like that actually ordered sorting hat not to sort him yet and normally the hat would have ignored this order but now can't ignore it.

Second guess is that Harry's question about the link to dark lord made the hat to realise it was looking mostly at Riddle's soul fragment and not at Harry's mind.
June22 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Hi! Reading the note at the beginning of the chapter had me smiling. - I like your attitude! And although it's not very nice of some reviewers to tell you where you'll fail in the future, it certainly is nice to know you really have it all planned out until the end. (Not that that's any guarantee that we'll see all those future chapters, but hey! - And here I'm not implying anything, I'm just thinking of my own story, which hasn't been updated in a year, I shamefully admit.)


The chapter itself... well let's say I went way beyond just smiling.


Just one question: What's the Ghostbuster dance? I mean, I know the movie and the song (Who doesn't?), but I don't think I was aware there was da dance, too...


SilverLullabies93 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
darkie chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
A complete and utter fuck up of a chapter.

And fact is a lot of people CAN tell this fic will fail. It's ALREADY on the slippery slope, you pretentious git.
Zira Angel chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I am thinking it is about the horcrux.

Or possibly about being asked how it was created.

If it is the hat going, "You can be in any house" I will be severely disappointed in you :I
Janusi chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I liked this chapter less than your previous ones. Also, for some weird reason I have yet to receive an alert.
The Lady Reaper of the Shadows chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
very eagerly awaiting more!
duj chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I wouldn't have put either Harry or Hermione in Ravenclaw. Slytherins the both of them; their pursuit of knowledge is aimed towards practical purpose, not the pure love of knowing. Nor Neville in Hufflepuff; he's not hardworking enough, nor is he a joiner. Gryffindor was definitely his best fit; he just needed to grow into himself.

I noticed that some of your reviewers have let Percy-hate blind them to the fact that canon-Percy is hard-working, dedicated and protective of younger students. You only have to look at how politely he answers Hermione's questions at her first Sorting Feast. Now if *Ron* had been old enough to be a prefect, the sending away of distressed Neville would have been very much in character...
ejhawman chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I probably should wait for part II, but...

Good to see the plot moving faster, skipping past the search for Neville's toad.

The obligatory laugh about Hermione obviously belonging in Ravenclaw. I suspect in canon she asked the hat to put her in Gryffindor, expecting Ron and Harry to be there, and she wanted to be with them even though she had only just met them on the train. Here she has no reason to modify her destiny.

Can't imagine what the last line is about; the Hat probably has had the odd student ask about its workings over the centuries. It won't likely have many answers to Harry's questions but he has to start gathering data somewhere.

Can't wait for the rest of the Sorting...
everpresent chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I will admit my bias up front: I *loathe* song fics. They suck.

Since your story is about rationality, let me explain this. If you don't know the song, the words are meaningless, and you don't know the tune that goes with them. If you don't know the song, then more than half of the "emotion" that is conveyed by the story is completely gone, since the author depends on the audience knowing that emotion. Remember that the Internet is the whole world and not just north america, and even in North America there are undoubtedly people who have never seen Ghost Busters, or simply don't remember or don't like the song.

That is a whole other point: if someone actively dislikes the song, then that colours their perception of the whole chapter. So I repeate: I loathe song fics.

Now on to the rest of the review.

This chapter has nothing at all to do with the rest of the story. It's short. It just exists to convey a pointless gag. It does nothing to advance the plot - and that is the most damning comment which I have seen in several other reviews also.

The only point to this chapter are the last 3 paragraphs, where Harry talks to the hat. That's it. The rest might as well not be there.

PLEASE go back and write as you were for the previous chapters.

malcolm75k chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Oh yes. I do have one more guess. What's never happened before? An heir of Gryffindor being sorted into Ravenclaw. :D
no name chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Funny. Very amusing. I have been instructed by my sister (whose internet capabilities at present are tied to her phone, which does not enable her to write reviews herself) that she loved this chapter. She also asks/instructs/demands that you update soon. As her brother, let me offer you an important piece of potentially-lifesaving advice: do it.
Sahrai chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Ok, because this is an absolutely crazy story (and I love it!) I'm going to go with a crazy answer and say that the sorting hat can't hear Harry. Thus the 'oh dear'.

I'm really enjoying your story because it is really making me think. I'm also enjoying how I am actually learning from it. Mostly I read fanfic at the end of the day to rest my tired brain. Let's be honest- the majority of fanfics are entertaining fluff. I've taken enough theoretical physics in college that I can recognize some of the concepts you have Harry talk about. It is very refreshing to have an intellectual fanfic.
Ratus chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Evil Evil person! :) I guess we had it coming since some people had to give reviews that resembled the half life of an intelligent thought in a troll's mind.

Predictable? No, I don't thing the story has been predictable at all.

Failing? I don't see it happening if you keep up the work you have been doing.

I look forward to the next chapter as I wish to see the dialog between Harry and the Sorting Hat. I think if you do it as well as some of the other talks most of us will have headaches trying to follow along the logic trail.

Keep up the good work,


Vis Sis Mis!
Guest chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
What happened to the bit about "a normal person writing this"? I thought it was cute, but I guess you edited it out of your a/n. Normal is overrated. Normal is average. I've got to think that most successful writers are above average. Certainly this story is well above average - good writing, fits well with canon, and very imaginative.

Thanks for pointing out the "less wrong" site. I'm sure I'll be spending a fair bit too much time there.

"In what weird alternative universe would that girl not be Sorted into Ravenclaw?" nice little dig at canon :-).

Cute Ghost Busters skit. Not sure where they came up with that particular theme, but it fits. Of course, it has cemented Snape's predisposition to regard Harry as James mark 2. Poor Snape - Harry has had a multitude of tutors, including at least some who'd have had superior attitudes in need of deflating.

Into the silence ... there came a ... voice, sounding distinctly worried: "Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."

The hat didn't react this way in canon, so what's different from canon?

- Harry's upbringing

- Harry asking not to be sorted (yet)

- Harry asking questions

- Harry's questions bringing notice to his scar

What would cause the hat to sound "distinctly worried"? What wouldn't have happened before? What would justify your confidence no one will guess?

Over the centuries, it seems probably that other students have asked the hat questions and likely that someone has asked the hat to delay their sorting while they talk, so I doubt any of that has caused the hat's reaction.

Harry drawing attention to his scar is different from canon, the scar is cause for worry, and it is certainly is something the hat hasn't seen before. However, its seems a bit obvious. Still, its the best I can come up with for now.

I'm curious to see the solution for Harry's 26 hour sleep cycle. My guess is a time turner, since that's canon and a much more interesting solution than a spell or potion to cure the condition. Then again, Minerva may have waved it off without thinking and it will be an ongoing problem.

I'm looking forward to your next chapter.
Guest chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
So far a very well written story. Good plot, intelligent and well-wrought dialogues, characters are alive and believable. Surely one of the better stories I have encountered here. Don't let other reviewers predictions of failing in the future get near you. You are doing a fine job. I surely am going to put this one on story alert.

Thank you, it has been very much enjoyable!

Guest chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Wow, I am very very happy with all the fast updates! *joy*

I will take a stab at guessing the answer to the challenge you have put forth.

My guess:

The last sentence in this chapter refers to a First Year with both the will and ability to attempt to rationalize magic and the magical system, and who seems as if he will do it for both the pleasure of proving people wrong and to provide satisfaction for himself.

either that or it is referring to his plan of turning Purebloods from their muggle hating ways via guile, trickery, and the peculiar application of logic.
NamuNamu chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I'll guess that the Sorting Hat can't decide where to put him. On the off-chance that I'm right (and I think it's unlikely), for the love of all that's lovely don't tell me the rest of the plot!

P.S.- I really like what you've done with Hermione in Chapter 8. Hadn't thought about her character that way before.
Pusakuronu chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Harry's actions when putting on the sorting hat: just what's expected from this version of Harry.

The ghostbuster dance leading up to the sorting: silly to the point of straining suspension of disbelief to the breaking point. Oh well, everyone makes mistakes, and the overall story is still awesome.
quickshot0 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I'm kind of left wondering why that Ghost Buster song happened, there is no explanation on why the people in the Order of Chaos would know it. Especially considering they seem to be two certain redheads from the wizarding society, as such I'm left wondering how this came to pass at all, basically it seems kind of random and illogical like this.

Also, like some one else expressed, I do hope you'll maintain the quality of the work. Though I imagine reviewers occasionally will bring up good ideas, maybe even ones that fit your already planned plot.

Meanwhile I imagine I'll keep guessing at that overall plot line, what ever that exactly might be. Well we'll probably get more clues to it soon enough I'm guessing.
VM chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
ROFL nice. How long did it take you to come up with the words to that song. Lol the chapter was a little too short but that's okay because I got a laugh out of it.
phoebe turner chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
i loved it!
Akira Stridder chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Goldenfightergirl chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
no i wanted to know what else happen
ariel stormcloud chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
great story
jdboss1 chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
this make my day reading this updats

but the ending of this Chapter was upseting there there was no morre please updats as soon as u can

this is the best fic i have read this years
The Fanfic Stealer chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
...Let me guess: Harry somehow has fried the Sorting Hat's AI, and that second voice is either a back-up, or the actual soul of one of the Founders, put there in the unlikely case that something like this happens...
Yukatado chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
He broke the sorting hat.
Bob-san chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
I love you.

Good job.








Wolfric chapter 9 . 4/1/2010
Oh come on Minerva... who wouldn't want Harry? Good chapter. Thanks for writing. W.
rags007 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Ok ..lets see...the last line might mean that harry mind is so cluttered with knowledge and what not that the hat cannot get to know his personality...ok that was a really lame guess...but whatever...
worlddada2000 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010

First of all a very thorough and well thought fic. I must say that i find it more interesting as i read it. I don't know why people r finding it boring, i rather see u finish this fic. I also like u using good scientific examples to help harry explain his reasoning. I am not gonna guess what the plot is about, but will try the challenge and say that the last line is being spoken by the Hat and he is refering to the horcurx within harry and harry's ability to rationalise the magic using scientific methods.

That's my guess.

Thanks once again looking foward to ur update.

Wren chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
This is one of my favorite fics right now. It has a great premise, consistent characterization given that premise, and pretty good writing, but this chapter was very disappointing.

I know it has been said before, but I'll say it again: The Ghostbusters song parody was unnecessary and over the top. It was out of character for Harry to do that, and Fred and George wouldn't know of the Ghostbusters. It was like a deus ex machina, except it'll give Harry more problems, by making Snape hate him more and make Voldemort think he's a loon. Wait, maybe that's what you're aiming for, but it still is a total asspull.

Anyway, great story, but I hope this chapter was an April Fools joke
Delta chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
oh, wow.

hm, it's one surprise after the other, although the this chapter is short, you've somehow left it on a cliff hanger...

I'm, your, um...speechless.

I guess the only thing to say is I look frantically towards a future where your updates are numerous and plentiful...

the twist with Snape's reaction was a pleasant surprise...

again, I can't tell you how much I'll be looking forward to Harry's master plan!

update soon author-sama,

Your devoted fan! _
Kuno-Baby chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Someone asking the hat questions? Which are keyed into a conditional spell that will activate something strange with the hat such as multi-house sorting or giving him the sword of gryffindor?

Yeah, I understand that my answer is vague and multi-pronged, but could you at least tell me if I'm on the write track?

Also: You're a review whore, but you deserve it.
Ann onymous2 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Darn, submitted too soon.

Anyway, the uptick in out of character references to popular media seems to be indicative of something.

"Oh, dear. This has never happened before... now I'm going to be accused of copyright infringement by whoever owns the rights to monty python's flying circus."
Kazuma chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
This has never happened before... Who would have thought I was allergic to your brand of shampoo?
everetza chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Brilliant! Absolutely brilliant! I just read this through start to end and wasn't bored one bit at any point. You seem to have acheived the optimum balance of humor, action, emotion and plenty of plot twists and good characterization! Not to mention I love the little rationality bits you slip in- I tried the 'guessing the sequence rule'one on my friend and she didn't get it either :)

Well, I'm going to head over to your blog now and see how long I can go without getting thouroughly confused...

Oh, and I have no idea what the last line is about (or no idea I think is correct) but good luck to everyone else!
Oscar Wildebeast chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Shit chapter.

Nothing got resolved and there was no payoff.

There was a fucking shitty ghostbuster parody song that ran too long.

Please respect your readers' time. Also, try and have less contempt for your craft with comments about originality. Challenge yourself and genuinely think. Don't take it as a given that you and whatever you have to say is inherently brilliant. Write something you would personally like to read.
R. J. Loe chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Can't predict you, hon, that's why this fic's so good. I mean, you make us howl with Draco and then make pureblood magical culture something out of the Middle East; give us a Smart!Harry that's not a cliche prodigy and yet has the greatest potential for revolution of any we've read... How are we supposed to guess?
Patrick S chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
This stroy is great! I can't wait for the next update.
Lia chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Wonderfully unpredictable! I cannot even imagine where you're going with this, and it's so well-written! One flaw: chapters are way too short!
Crazy'Grief chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
(In the back of his mind, he wondered if the Sorting Hat was satisfied with only getting to talk to eleven-year-olds once per year.)

("Oh, dear. This has never happened before...")

(conscious in the sense of being aware of its own awareness)

Sounds more like the Hat was never asked about his/her/its feelings... after all, it is just a Hat.
Taggart chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
As has been said before, the Ghost Busters song and dance movement was unnecessary. Both Harry and the Weasly Twins were out of character. How would the twins, who are pure bloods, have ever known about the show? Despite their father's obsession with muggle technology, he is inept and the likely hood of their watching that particular show, should Arthur manage to connect the television, is awfully slim.

What possible reason would Harry have for such a display? He is already well known, thus no need for popularity, and it does nothing to further his gains of rationality. His will seems strong enough to break any charm of compelling.

Other than this, the story is wonderful. I really enjoyed both Hermione and Draco's characterization. It was nice to see Hermione presented with a mind that doesn't immediately accept her brilliance. Draco's offhand comments showed the need for a change to wizarding society. The book of the moon was a brilliant touch.

As for a prediction? You mentioned a time traveling story and have it in your favorites. Harry's intense maturity, devotion to reason, and general knowledge are far beyond his age. Perhaps you are looking to turn the typical Send-Harry-Back-To-His-Birth, on its head?

For anyone else who bothers to read reviews: If Less Wrong is offering to send the plot to whoever guesses correctly, he obviously has it planned out. Given how the story is already improving, the philosophy of powerful character at the beginning, the well laid groundwork for character development and story arcs, it is unreasonable to believe the story will deteriorate any time soon.
MagicIshReal chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
This fic started off great, and I don't even mind some humour. But this is well over the top and not even funny. This already short, uneventful chapter was completely and inexplicably chopped in, what, half? And half of what was posted was a very unfunny scene that made no sense. The Weasley twins wouldn't know the theme to Ghostbusters and it *isn't* funny even if they did.

I'm not guessing per se, but if the hat is about to sort into an "unknown" house or all of them, or one of those two are implied then you go /psych, Ravenclaw/ for "comedic effect", this'll be past the point of no return for me. There's a difference between being funny/having humour, and just piling on stupid jokes for the sake of it.

Also, you got lots of reviews, great, be excited... don't get complacent. Some absolutely unreadable crap on this site is filled with unwarranted 'great job, i luv this story! update soon!' simpering reviews from borderline illiterates. Return to the premise and use humour more subtly and sparingly, *please*. It was a really good premise, and it looks like its taking a huge hit because you got enough positive response to earlier bits of humour and decided to pander/indulge. I will be a complete waste if you don't reverse the trend.

my 2p
solitare chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
The sorting hat has never had a scientist to sort. Also he has never been asked to scan for obliviation.
Sufferingzombie chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I love it! I laughed so hard that I was crying, please, keep up the good work!
jhonc chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Your talking about Erectile Dysfunction; please update soon, I love this story, its humour and the serious parts pull me in and I simply cannot stop myself from enjoying your story. If I did get it right, don't give away the plot, just update faster! Thank You for your hardwork! : )
TegwenielWestwind chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Oh, I'm looking forward to Harry's interaction with the Hat. I wonder if he'll disrupt the feast at all with questions about implausibility or somesuch.
Intelligo chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
The Ghostbusters thing really turned me off this chapter. Not funny at all.
TardisIsTheOnlyWayToTravel chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
He can't look at Harry's mind? He can't place Harry anywhere?

Harry asking abotu those things? Perhaps things that arne't supposed to be asked, or have protocols attached?

Harry has two minds (souls)
pfeil chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
My WAG? Harry absorbed the "consciousness" of the sorting hat.
I R Feynman chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
The hat's never sorted Harry Potter before.

It's never sorted a bunch of other people before either, but it also hasn't sorted harry before.
Dr. Zoidberg chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
It isn't actually the sorting hat talking. It's something else.
Patricka chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I don't know what the last line refers to, and as long as it's not something unbearably corny or retarded (dual sorting, impossible to sort, etc.) I'm content to wait. I'm horrible at guessing, but if I were to take a stab at it, I'd say it was talking about that whole Ghostbusters thing... though on the off-chance that I am right, I don't want to know the whole plot, it'd ruin the story for me. (That's the main reason I STILL haven't read LotR after all these years - I already know the basic outline and have seen most of the movie.)

Also, no offense, but I hope you aren't REALLY that much of a review whore. XD

This chapter was a bit short compared to your last several, but it's not so short that it gets to be annoyingly so.

And Chapter 7 is still my overall favorite chapter of this story, and if all your chapters were of that quality I'd be a very happen person.

Oh, and try not to let negative reviews to affect you overly so, and don't let yourself fall into Perfect Lionheart-esque rants as a result. (Not that you were even close to that level, because although I'm following his fics, he is unbelievably petty at times...)

I can't wait until your next update. )
Peanuckle chapter 9 . 3/31/2010



You, sir, are a gentleman and scholar of the highest caliber. Humor, good storytelling and proper scientific method in one package? Amazing! I found this story from a forum promoting the best of FFN and I am not disappointed! I was reading the story and I saw the review counter tick up as I changed chapters!

And the Sorting Hat's reaction is just too priceless. Updates cannot possibly happen fast enough.
CanonDodger chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I don't care if this story fails someday. Even canon failed at a certain point, as far as I'm concerned (HBP: ugh!) But right now it is *absolutely* wunnerful, wunnerful!*

*Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.-Terry Pratchett
nikelle.smith chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Hey! just found this story-I absolutely love it. Thank you so much for such awesomeness and for the frequent updates. I hate when I find a good story that's never ever updated...drives me insane.

Anyway, as for what the last line is talking about...I would guess that Harry's broken some spell on the hat by asking it questions before it can read his mind, and thus, chaos ensues. :)

(p.s. In the unlikely case that I win, I don't want to know the plotline. I like being surprised, so long as they're good surprises. And as you haven't failed to deliver so far, I see no reason to doubt this story's well of good surprise-ness.)
Sarah chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Ah! I WANTED TO TAKE PART IN THE COMPETITION! Not that I would have accepted the knowledge of 'what happens next', but, it would have been really exciting to win, because it's fun to try and predict things! But it's acceptable for me to guess a second time, after? I think tomorrow I'm going to re-read the whole story (it's still short enough to do that) and I'd have a more likely guess... Oh! We don't have to guess how the sentence finishes? Thats what I was trying to think of in my head. Just what he's talking about?

I think it's talking about the DL soul-piece in Harry's brains. :3 But that's such an obvious guess. So it has to be something trickier, hmm.

Just the plain old fact that no one's bombarded the hat with questions?

You're not making Harry unsortable, are you? "Oh, qualities of each house...blahblahblah" That would be terrible and boring.

Funnier: Qualities of no house! Hahaha, someone should totally write a story where he can't be sorted because he's too lazy, too dumb, spineless, and ambivilant. (it's probably already been written)

I'll be back with more guesses if I tihnk of them.

On the other hand, I enjoyed the chapter! It was pretty spiffing. Very amused. xD I kind of wish it had happened in cannon. Wondering how the Weasley twins got to know it - unless Harry introduced the idea? I want to know more behind the 'prank'. And, omg..! Harry! No, you set yourself up for Snape! Why? But it would have happened anyways. It'll be entertaining to see how your Harry reacts to your Snape in class. But I predict many detentions for Harry (unless, the teachers..secretly don't get bothered by him? Hahaha) Headaches for all.

SOmewhere in this story, after Harry has been in classes for a while, you need to do a scene in the teachers lounge. xD Even if it's only a 'joke' and not a part of the story.
Tess chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Okay. That was just awesome.
Innomine chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
You're getting a tad arrogant here, don't fall into that pitstop. Reviews mean little to nothing when it comes to the quality of your story.

Focus on writing what you think you should write, as opposed to what all the fanboys say would be 'cool'. Remember, My Immortal had something like 11,0 reviews, and was quite possibly the worst piece of fanfiction ever written.

Then you look at other fics such as Joe's Wastelands of Time, Shezza's denarian Trilogy, both some of the pinnacles of fanfiction, yet they have little more than 1,500 reviews each. Take this review how you wish, but I do hope that you will focus on quality of fic, as opposed to catering to he masses, and ending up in a pit of fail.

Harsh, I know, but I really would hate to see the potential of this fic lost. Please don't fuck it up, because it got popular.
matumoko chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Obviously the 'hat' is merely the front for Professor Flitwick re-enacting a Wizard-of-Oz-esque magic curtain, and assigning students to houses based on a pre-determined list provided by Dumbledore. His confusion stems from the fact that Harry is obviously a Ravenclaw, while his list has Gryffindor heavily underlined three times with an exclamation mark next to it, despite McGonagall's thirteen hours of heartfelt pleas to the contrary.

Because of course the idea of an 800-year old sentient hat that hasn't gone made from boredom sitting alone by itself for 364 days a year is ludicrous.

That entirely obvious (:D) plot point aside, keep up the good work. This is quickly becoming one of my favourite stories, and not just because I try to follow the rational way myself.
bobcat86 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
in response to the last sentence, it either has to do with harry's mind, or voldemort's soul within him. if not, the hat can't think right and sort harry. it also might want a donut.

have a good day.
Reluctance chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Well... I've no idea what the last line refers to. Or rather, I've got a couple of ideas, none of which seem at all likely.

Some asking not to be sorted straight away? Bound to have happened in a thousand years of students. Someone curious as to what the Sorting Hat knows? Again, this is likely to have happened at some point in a thousand years. The Hat having never meet some with such as an ordered mind? That clever enchanted piece of haberdashery has seen it all.

So really I have no idea and am looking forward to finding out. April 3rd you say?

On the Potter fiction cliché front, I'll just point out that the Diagon Alley shopping trip (of extra length), the multi-compartment trunk, and the coin pouch of holding have all appeared in numerous other fics. Your's are particular well-written though, easily the best I've read and most entertaining.

An excellent story and an original one. Keep up the good work and ignore the naysayers.
Sean Mulligan chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Harry is perfectly fitted for all four houses.
Artemis XIII chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Hum. You definitely arethat much of a review whore. And evil. I suppose Harry will wear the Hat on his head for days before they finally settle for Ravenclaw (Hufflepuff?) because, honestly, it's the wildest guess I can make. (Well, maybe not the wildest. But the wildest among the logical ones). I know I am probably wrong since I didn't think to it for as much time as you did... Still, if I'm right (and I would be very disappointed) I would not at all like to know the entire plot. So I will not even try seriously and settle for this guess. All this to say that you are really evil to make us wait until April 3rd. I am not sure I am going to survive to all this suspense. But I totally agree with Harry's thoughts about the four Houses as I always preferred Hufflepuff. chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
OK, I'll bite at the "what happens next" challenge. Please don't tell me the plot if I'm correct, though. Its like Harry's father giving him ideas on how to find the entrance to platform 9 3/4. :)

My theory is that the soul fragment in the scar has gotten free of its containment and has mixed and blended into Harry's soul, creating an effect of almost having two personalities. However, the soul fragment was so tiny that it did not carry memories with it. It, like someone obliviated, carried the effects of the trauma of its past life, but no true memories of such trauma.

This explains pieces of Harry's behavior.

The scene where Harry felt his home and family were threatened by Minerva and he reacted almost violently - How would a child raised without love in an orphanage react if he had found a loving home and it was threatened?

The flashes of anger - Tom was know for being an angry being.

The "I can depend on no one" - remnants of having no one to rely on

The overly matured abilities to analyze and manipulate - pure Tom.

It also explains the boosted intelligence - two minds are better than one.

The Non-24 hour sleep/wake cycle, which you threw in, is common in the blind, but has been known to occur in sighted people who have suffered head trauma. It is a neurological issue and points to this Harry as having more damage done to him than normal.

Now, the horcrux soul fragment lodged in Harry was represented as a baby in cannon. If this soul was freed, and mingled with the baby-soul that was Harry, it could be conceived that the two "grew up" together, combining to form a synthesis being greater than the sum of its parts with weaknesses greater than the sum of its parts.

The desire to take over the world is Tom, while the lack of desire to rule it is Harry. The method of achieving this is from their synthesis.

The saving people thing and the "be on the side of the light" and the "be the hero because they want me to" is Harry, while the desire to exceed their expectations, to awe them and "fix" their society is Tom.

Let me know if I'm right in your author's notes, but don't spill the plot. :)

Oh, wikipedia reference to the sleep cycle thing:

Caprix chapter 9 . 3/31/2010 do I convey my love for the AWESOMENESS that is this fic? I know, I know...that isn't a word. But if any fic deserved to have a word invented to describe it, it would be this one!

I love your version of Harry! Not only because he's an undisputed genius but because he's still an 11 year-old boy who can have fun. Yes, chapter 5 deserves its own category in the fanfic hall of fame for the sheer brilliance of Draco and Harry! It really set the tone of the fic. The hilarity works to balance out the serious parts - or pseudo-serious parts... ;)

I hope this fic keeps flowing so easily for you! I'm looking forward to reading more!
Uncharted Power chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I usually don't review but I have to make an exception. This story gives a realistic reaction to magic as a general concept, and you feel as if you can relate to him, irregardless of how intelligent he is. I like the cliff hanger, and I'd rather not guess. I want this story to be something I discover as I go along.

Do not be discouraged!
alaskan-dracolych chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
"Oh, dear"? The rest of the chapter should be interesting.
MisterTabi chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I'll say this much, there hasn't been a fic that did the Ghost Busters theme song to Harry Potter's impulsive style. I guess that originality of yours got a bit impulsive too.

As for your challenge, I'd rather not take it up on grounds that I've been far too thoroughly amused by the latest update.
shadow patronus chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
jajaj, your a bit too overconfident, but estrange enough i dont mind. This is pretty original.

Even if id know the meaning of the last sentence, id not tell you as it would kill my interest in the story.

firstar28 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
lol, I'm having fun with this. I have no idea where part 2 will go. I can only say that I am pretty sure that the hat won't say that Harry can't be sorted or that he belongs in more than one house because both of those things have happened before. I can't wait to find out where you take this!
Einander chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I quite like the story; Harry is unbelievable as an 11 year-old, but at least he's amusingly so and it looks like that premise will carry the story to interesting places. And I can certainly sympathize with the problem of being too young to be taken seriously... That wasn't too long ago.

I must say, though: You are offering the worst possible prize for this little contest of yours. Yes, most of the fun is in the journey, but this is one case where it'd quite spoil the thing were you to give away the ending. So I'm not going to guess. (Doubly so because attempting to contact me as an unsigned reviewer would be difficult...)
Kyouzou chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I'm going to attempt some origniality the way the story is excellent is you already know ;)

"Oh, dear. This has never happened before, I've never sorted anyone with such precise plans for world dominion."

Well that was attempt, do tell me if I get anywhere near it.
Airene chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I don't know what that sentence implies, but I'm really, really, really curious! XD
Sheridan Road chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I usually don't review because Im a horrible person, and logging in is just so much work. I'm exhausted already. But this time I am and only an overwhelming majority of that is because of the cliffhanger contest and my hypercompetitiveness.

This was perhaps my least favorite chapter of the whole lot, which to be fair isnt saying much. The ghostbusters song is creative, sure, but there's no real reason for it and it certainly doesn't look very believable. Just last chapter Harry had a scarf around his head to hide who he was, and now he's making a spectacle of it, complete with dancing in front of an entire school? Previously McGonagall scolded him for making light of death in a previously wartorn society which he seemed legitamately shameful of, but now he is mocking the whole war with a song and dance number. It just doesn't seem to fit, and that'll go for future bouts of social anxiety as well, if they should come up. Once you do something like that in front of the whole school, it's hard to imagine being shy about practically anything else.

All that said, it's a great fanfiction through and through. I find myself mindlessly f5ing the updated log, wishing something good would show up, and whenever this one does I am always excited to read. You deserve the over-10 reviews of praise you've received so far.

My guess is that the hat will, since Harry asked about Horcruxes in all but name, discover the one in Harrys scar. It may or may not be able to do something about it, like absorb it into itself which might corrupt it and any other students who pit on the Hat, which would certainly make Harrys life tougher.
Sarah chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I love, love, love this story. You've nailed the characterizations and created a really quirky, original plot. *hugs!*

Since I'm absolutely certain I couldn't guess where you're going with this if I tried my hardest, I tried to envision the crackiest response I could:

"Oh, dear. This has never happened before... I, the immaterial spirit of Lord Voldemort, have somehow completely inexplicably found my conciousness posessing a hat."

I am waiting super-eagerly for more.
Fanfix chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Go Harry! :) An enjoyable, good fic you're writing!

And just for the sake of arguing, there's no such thing as "originality" ;). Everything has been done once, one way or another. It's the combination and direction of those "clishés" that make up a brilliant fic, within which I include yours. :)

And clishés are called so because they work. Mind you, you don't have very many of them, but I HAVE read similar "science" fics - if a bit less detail oriented ones. ;P

I'm looking forward to your next chapter (and ignore the flames you get: stupid people reading detailed fiction will never go over very well).

May The Words Be With You,

Tommy L.


wordhammer chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I have much to say in favor of this story, but it seems redundant. I have much to say of concern for this story, but it seems presumptuous. Rather, I think this is a quite original work that well-challenges the magical world as created by J.K. Rowling, and even if our hero seems unusually egotistical to question everything and verbally run rings around everyone he meets, that doesn't detract from the merit of the arguments or the fun to be had in seeing them brought into the story.

Short version: I'm having fun.

I feel compelled to make an intuitive leap about the intent with the chapter finale.

Harry has successfully rationalized himself out of doing magic. He's been mentally self-squibified.

And thus the story becomes HP and the Pitfalls of Rationality in an Irrational Universe.

But even if I'm right, I'll still keep reading.

Guest chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
poo snigglets
eytedrfghjiolhg528ddfxcde chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Loved it..! Hope to see more/
World chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Many fics that started out promising with an interesting idea have taken a strong dive after the premise was presented and fleshed out.

This may have many different reasons. Among them is the author being a review whore and churning out the beginning of a story without planning for later. Another may be the author being arrogant enough to think he'll think of something for later on, for sure!

In your A/N, you said you "don't even know a name for that fallacy". Let me give you one: experience. Much like a disillusioned lover, your readers have had their expectations teased and tickled, only for the hope of a happy (i.e. good) ending to be crushed somewhere along the way. Thus they resent those who give them this hope, since they expect to be crushed later on.

As for your challenge, I hope you don't really think that is what people mean when they say they know what is going to happen. They mean that Harry is going to outthink Quirrel and uncovers him long before the year ends, that he isn't going to be on the Quidditch team and that Harry and the twins are going to prank everyone, turning Hermione into a bit of a prankster along the way.

Oh yeah, on that topic: as far as cliches go, you certainly have incorporated the ole "prank that causes people to sing and/or dance against their will in a manner very similar to the Imperius except nobody cares because it's funny".

Even though, yes, you didn't actually do that, the endresult is still the same.

Now, since I'm already here, I shall take a stab at that last line. Based on the second to last line, the voice he hears is in his head, it is reasonable to assume that it is not the voice of somebody in the hall. Unless the "this has never happened before" refers to their consciousness being drawn into the hat or the hat opening a mind-link between Harry and that person (Dumbledore probably), which I doubt. Since the voice is called unfamiliar and Harry has heard the Sorting Hat, it must be some bodyless consciousness embedded in or connected to the Sorting Hat.

Viable candidates are all Founders (Gryffindor being the frontrunner) and Hogwart's spirit. I really hope it's not the latter. Anyway, this would mean the "this" is referring to the event that also brings this consciousness into play. Since you are rather adamant about not being cliché, I guess it's not Harry being too über to fit into any of the houses and having to be sorted into a new/different one, and also not Harry having incredulomatastic occlumency shields that keep the hat from reading his personality. Also a no on his brain being so awetastically huge that the hat is on hold or fried while trying to process the information. And no on one of the founders coming to the fore because ohmygosh, no one has ever talked to the hat before and/or asked about how it was created.

It is, however, something that prevents the hat from doing his job (why else would he not simply proceed and the voice sound worried). Since I am not all that original, I can't come up with a good idea (unless you count Harry not having a personality, Harry having no magic and therefore being unsortable, and Harry having been under some compulsion charm, muddling up his personality and forcing the hat to wait until it settles). Therefore, I will leave the story writing to you. And hope that you won't disappoint by actually doing something I ruled out. Because that stuff sucks.
novalisdt chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Prediction: "While you're clearly the most rational student we've ever had (and thus the most suited to Ravenclaw), your rationality is purely instrumental - you would give it up if it didn't meet your goals of saving the world, a Gryffindor trait."
Jay Man1 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I would say you are taking the less traveled road but I don't think there is a road for this. I will not be making a guess as to the direction of the next chapter because your phrasing leads me to an incorrect conclusion and I don't have the the time or inclination to look for the correct one. Rationalist Harry is both intriguing and scary so I wasn't to see how this is going to go. Not to mention that an increased Harry means and increased Voldemort which could go any of a dozen different ways. Since Voldemort always struck me as something of a sociopath I always felt he should have been a good deal more formidable. A little more Hannibal Lector and a little less Turl from Battlefield Earth. Personal thoughts aside I am very interested in this story and where it is going, I wish the fictional Harry the best of luck in his intellectual conquest of the Wizarding world. I'm hoping no one guesses the answer to your question, I wouldn't want to know the end before hand.
Ninja0Squirl chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Okay, I adore this story. I read a chapter and look up a minimum of two things on Google because of it. You know the education system sucks when fanfiction is teaching you more than any of your classes.

As for what I think the sorting hat means...

I actually have several theories towards the last sentence, but I'm pretty sure this is a one-theory sort of thing, huh? So, I'll say that the Sorting Hat means that this is the first time somebody's asked him about things. Which is so painfully obvious I know it's wrong and I still have the nagging feeling it has something to do with the houses system itself.

Well, that's all I have to say.
Church017 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."

I suppose I should go back inside...

I'd guess that the sorting hat has never been talked to. After all, how many eleven-year-olds would want to talk to a creepy mind Reading hat, when one's future and how others precieve them practically rides on it's decision on what house you go in. The hat was probably surprised and a bit disconcerted over the questions asked of it, thus it responded the way it did.

If that's not the answer, then the quote itself is a reference to a children's book mentioning a duck named "Wiggles."

please let me have won. I'm a high school senior fighting depression.

By the way. Your story is hilarious and I will very sad if it fails ( not that it's going to). Keep up the good work!
badkidoh chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Another great chapter.
alchymie chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
One almost hesitates to take up your challenge and guess what the Sorting Hat's last line is talking about - purely because I feel this is an awesomely original work and wouldn't even come close to guessing right.

Still, we can take a scientific approach, which I feel sure your Harry would appreciate:

The average first-year class size at Hogwarts would be steadily rising over the decades, purely because the population of Britain has been rising and we'd be getting more Muggleborns. It's been estimated that there were 40 students in Harry's year. Let's say the average, over the last 800 years, would be 25 students/yr. Which works out to 20,0 Sortings.

The odds are remote that Harry is the *first* in those 20,0 Sortings to ask the Hat any questions. Similarly, in 20,0 Sortitngs there must have been other students hard to Sort, or who had a Headmistress desperately praying they not be Sorted in a given House.

If the Sorting Hat is meeting something unprecedented, it must relate specifically to Harry himself.

Well, there are a number of possibilities - I sincerely doubt the Sorting Hat has ever Sorted a student with a Horcrux in his/her head, for instance - but that would have come out in canon, as well. So it's got to be something unique about *this* Harry.

You aren't postulating that Harry has any extra magic prowess than in canon. So, unless you're pulling something out of left field, as it were (e.g., "I've never Sorted a student who had an entire case of Comed-Tea in his pouch"), which would be unworthy of you, it has to be Harry's way of thinking. I.e., his desire to bring the scientific method to magic, perhaps his desire to re-discover the lost magics like the Hat's, and his desire to *totally pwn* the Wizarding World.

Which simply seems too obvious to me, so it can't be the answer. Or at least, not the answer you intend to reveal in a few days.

I fully expect to be surprised, slap my forehead at not seeing the obvious (probably fully foreshadowed and everything), and enjoying this story immensely.

Thank you for writing it!
Mel72000 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I love this chapter, it's great, thank you, I wait the next impatiently !
morriganscrow chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I am so enjoying this story! I'm totally confused, bedazzled, battered and harangued, but I don't care!
Teardrop chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
In response to your challenge: Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!

In other news I adore your story and have been recommending it to others. So far you have been able to maintain consistant characterization and each chapter has quite a few surprises. Good job!
wolf550e chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
"Oh, I'm the Sorting Hat and I'm okay, I sleep all year and I work one day" - does the sorting hat wear ladies' underwear?

I won't try to guess what's next - you seem much too confident in your originality. Though surely you know there is nothing (truly) new under the sun...
aondehafka chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
"If anyone guesses correctly what the last sentence of this, Part One, is talking about, before I post Part Two on April 3rd, I will tell that person the entire rest of the plot."

I can tell you correctly what the last sentence of this part is talking about-SOMETHING AWESOME.

Despite my correct answer, please don't share the entire rest of the plot ahead of time. I want to keep reading this just like I already have been. _
silentreader chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I hope this fanfiction doesn't grow over your head.

I have seen much better work than this going astray, because of the writer beeing overconfident


If you can, look out for betas.. but not betas for grammer but for plot and for helping your characters stay in character..

the more critical the better..

Nevertheless good work until chapter 9.. the dancing part may be funny.. but it's cliche and pointless and a filler; I was not impressed by the rest of this chapter..

Don't be a review wh*re.. that will ruin the story..

may occams razor be with you
PeanutTree chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
This chapter was brilliant! Every time I think you've reached your limit, you whip out something new and surprise me. And since this is Harry's goal for the wizarding world, I feel that this story is in good hands. The way you transformed the humorous Ghostbusters song into a pivotal moment for Harry caught me unawares, and I loved it. Plus you had Monty Python in there! Double brownie points!

As for the challenge... hm. I don't think Harry's going to be sorted into two Houses, because that's been done; and I don't think the Hat is caught off-guard by Harry's qualifications for multiple Houses, because that must have happened sometime before. Maybe the Hat's never been spoken to first before, and he's surprised Harry initiated the conversation. Or maybe the Hat is confused by all the complicated math going on in Harry's head! Harry blinded it with SCIENCE!
saladin chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
There are surprising few stories that captivate ... This is one of them. So far, extremely interesting - hope you continue in the same style.
goddessa39 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
As to your intro... a lot of fics out there rise highly and then fail for a number of reasons, the least of which is lack of a bar, unfortunatly. This is probably about 50% of the reason you are "bound to fail" as some say. Other just sink into the low, low bar of being failures in plot and creation despite the expectancy. While I hope yours does not fall into either of these paths, I can understand the glass-half-empty sides. We readers-you have probably been one of many in a past experience-get into a fic and then suddenly never find a new word of it half way through the story.

As to the story, am loving it! The whole House thing is there for a reason and while it is there for an understandable and workably stereotypical setup, it does cause stigmas when people get too challenging against others. Hermione does belong in Ravenclaw, Ron in Gryffindor, Neville in Hufflepuff, Draco in Slytherin. Anything different is against the whole purpose of the Houses. Where Harry will go is different. Multi-house is stupid and plainly illogical, (and overdone). No-house? The same. Hufflepuff would mean vaguer fairity, but Ravenclaw would give him familiar knowledge prospects. Gryffindor would go in with his new Wannabe-hero thing he was thinking about and Slytherin would fit because he IS GOING TO KNOW whatever he wants to find and not just sit back and do anothing ala Severus Snape.

Where was I again? Oh yeah, The question is where are young going to put him. I vote Ravenclaw at first but then I go to Hufflepuff because then they will stereotypically support him even if they don't understand which may build his bridges through the other houses like wittle minions... yeah.

Can't wait for next chappie.
Enlightener chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Oh, I'm the Sorting Hat and I'm okay, I sleep all year and I work one day...

Pure Win.

(Im a lumberjack and im ok, i sleep all night and i work all day...)
OrionTheHunter chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Lol. Great, thanks for the update.

Hum, guesses as to what exactly "has never happened before"? Lets see. . . (BTW, if I'm anywhere close, I'll just find out in the story, and I'll pass on the reward - I don't think I want the story spoiled. But I can have fun guessing. Plus, I'm providing multiple guesses, so I have a certain statistical edge over those that provide only one guess.)

Things that have never happened before when the hat is put on someone's head.

-The hat can not sort Harry. But it's been done before? How about if the reason is that the Founders were in on, if not the originators of, the Ministry of Magic having a trend of squashing original thought and creative magic in favor of known spells that produce known results.

-The hat simply hasn't seen anyone with an intelligence like Harry's. Despite the ominous cliffhanger, here's no real issue, it's just surprised.

-Does it consider it self to be highly intelligent? Does it feel threatened by a superior intelligence for the first time?

-Are there particular questions it is required to answer? Often in fan fiction it has something akin to a confidentiality clause. What if in stead there were particular questions that it has to answer when asked, regardless of who is asking?

-Maybe it's not even anything to do with Harry. Does the hat have senses other than the mind-reading? Maybe it's in fact referring to what the Order of Chaos just did. Or maybe the Order of Control just retaliated for the prank off screen and the hat is the first to notice.

Anyway, these were just fun guesses for the sake of guessing. I look forward to the weekend to see if any of my thoughts were even tangential to what you have in mind.
bellashade chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
well the obvous answer would be that the hat discovered something it thought was odd or was suprised atthe babble of question but you never actually say it's the hats voice not that Harry would realise if it was or not himself. Maybe the hat was so overwelmed that the mythical voice of Hogwarts had to take over or when the hat was created the four founder put their minds into the hat then gave it a single voice and harry somehow seperated the minds and whoever spoke was stunned that a first year had done it.
Pihlaja chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I like this story, it is well-thought, balanced and you do have a sense of humour, although it goes overboard sometimes. I absolutely hated that Ghostbusters scene! Hated it! It doesn't fit the character of Harry that you have tried to build in the previous chapters, it's cliché, too dorky and all around stupid. People do not do such things, even in Hogwarts.

But, other than that this is a good story, and I especially like all this pure detail you provide for us to make our own conclusions about the subject talked about.

But yeah, please, no more Ghostbuster scenes or even anything remotely like it. Discard this whole Order of Chaos thing, it doesn't work. And the Draco angle is not that great either, although this is just my personal opinion. But, the reason why this story works so well is because the science and the whole "old soul" thing that Harry has. Focus on that, please.

And yes, you do have a good sense of humour. The Monty Python reference for example was pure gold, as was the Madam Malkin scene and Minerva as a whole.

Excellent work and I'm definitely going to keep on reading, but seriously... Ghostbusters song just before sorting... I probably would have stopped reading if there wouldn't have been that Monty Python joke just before the end.

And I guess that the Sorting Hat has finally met someone to whom it cannot give an answer or who he is compelled to answer but can't. Or then Harry isn't actually Harry, at least not totally.
princesasenorita chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
no! no cliffy. i'm angry. and does he end up in ravenclaw or what? *sigh*. he's not perfect for all houses is he? i don't see how he's a hufflepuff. honestly. haha.

can't wait until next!
Xynth chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Excellent story, although I will disagree with the complete absence of Potter-cliches. The Bag of Holding and the Gringots scenes may have been done originally, but many of the core elements have been done to the point of being called cliche. Absolutely nothing wrong with it, because you've done the "cliche" better than the people who just go all out with it, but it's there. Vaguely.

Now, time to start bandying about my guesses as to what the last line references. Please forgive the vagueness and simplicity of my guesses, I honestly have no concrete idea and want to cover as much ground as possible.

A) The Horcrux fused w/ Harry (lame, if so)

B) Harry absorbed the Sorting Hat

C) Rowena Ravenclaw's mind present in the Hat is talking to Harry.

D) One of the other Founders is talking to Harry.

E) Harry absorbed the mind of Rowena or one of the others.

F) Harry has finally broken the barrier of reality and is conversing with a Lovecraftian-horror from between the stars.

G) Harry has finally snapped (actually seems the likeliest).

H) The Sorting Hat has simply never dealt with a student that inquisitive.

I) Voldemort, Snape, or Dumbledore are using Legilimency on Harry and "heard" the questions.

J) The Hat has never questioned its sentience, whether quasi- or in full, and has found itself facing a dilemma it doesn't know the answer to.

I'd put in more guesses (god forbid, right), but my review pane glitches if I put in too many characters, and I'll have to leave you with these. Please let me know just how close t am, or if I'm actually close, because I honestly just threw these out there. I know I'm of above average compared to other people intelligence wise, but you're beyond me. By a fair bit. Keep up the good work, I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
lenka chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
so :)

a) Hat will refuse to answer the questions...his job is to sort, after all, he aint paid for answering, and besides, he is just a hat with rather narrow-focused job...

b) it will TRY to refuse answering...but Harry forces it to, via some ultra-intellectualANDscientific arguments

c) Hat tries to refuse...Harry blackmails it into answering

d) Harry will blackmail the hat into answering by refusing to be sorted withouth the answers (having his rather impressive brains he soon figures out that the Hat sorts based on he stops wishing to go into any of the houses and forces himself to be indifferent...poor Hat...)

e) Hat says "all right, but what do I gain?" or sth along those lines

f) Hat faints

g) Hat commits a suicide... (i dont know how yet, but perhaps self-cremation? or...hanging? drowning himself?)

h) Hat tries to converse with Harry, but soon loses its sanity and starts behaving odd, like vailing outloud/ singing "I dont wanna do this anymore" / pretending not being in the room/ asking Dumbles for a pay-rise, OR ELSE/ hops from Harrys head onto the Head Table, right in front of Snape, and asks him (Snape) to get him (Hat) properly drunk...

i) Hat does any of mentionned in h)...and it gets so bad that McGonnagal/Snape mercifully puts it out of its misery

j) Harry engages the Hat in a Socratic dialogue and wins...the Hat will be so ashamed that he will answer all Harrys questions on the condition that he never reveals either (Hats defeat and answering) to anyone

k) Hat will say that it is a Griffindor and wont answer any questions about an enemy...he will refuse to speak about Slitherin(s)...Harry will angrily take it down from his head and publicly acuse it of being biased...or not being unbiased...

l) Hat will say "ok, slow down, one question at a time..." and answers what he knows

m) Hat will transform into...sth/someone else...

n) Hat will try talking with Harry but he soon is fed up...Griffindors Sword falls out of it and knocks Harry unconcious...Hat will say "I know you aint a true Grif, but sth just had to be done to stop those infernal mouth of yours"...

o) Hat will answer but asks Harry to tell him one sth /from news maybe? or from, say, celebrity news?/ for every answer

/note: ...yes, I AM trying to make a whole alphabet here:)/

p) Hat answers on condition Harry gets him some new pink singlasses and a pair of earrings (it turns out that its a she-hat)

q) Hat will try to sort Harry but Harry will try to get his answers...neither will be succesfull for a long time...possibly, McGonnagal comes, slaps at on both cheeks, stares Harry down for three minutes and tells them to cooperate OR ELSE...ELSE being "no access to school or personnal library for (enter a number) weeks (because he will spend all free time in detention doing manual work)" for Harry and "being used as Mandrake flower pot for the duration of next school year" for the Hat

r) Hat (after little persuasion) and Harry chat happilly for a LONG time... Ron cant take it anymore, runs to the front, takes the Hat down and shouts at both Harry and Hat that he wants to EAT ALREADY

s) Hat sorts Harry into Rawenclaw..just like answers, no chat...

t) Hat sorts Harry into Slitherin (thinking that he deserves it for having the audacity to ask those questions)

u) Hat explains to Harry that he is bound by confidentiality rule (much like priests) and so cant answer...but Harry makes it, in the end

v) Hat answers on condition that Harry will wear him to all interviews once he gains the rule over the world

w) Hat answers on condition that Harry magically swears on his life that it will be left out of the scientific research and examination...Harry decides its worth it

x) Hat, after a discussion, will decide that Harry doesnt belong to any of the existing Houses...he will be a single member of his own House...

y) they will start chatting...soon, Hat will start stuttering...bad...therefore wont be able to get out any of the answers...including the sorting...oh my...

z) any of the above combinned

so, did I get in any way close? :)

...just in that unlikely case that I guessed right:)
Fairylein chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
"Oh, dear. This has never happened before..."

I've never sorted a muggle.
eclipseX chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
great chapter
odgreat chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
what do these 'people' mean by saying the story will fail anyway?

do they mean you will quit writing because you are bored or because you are overwhelmed by positive responses from reviewers

good reviewers

i.e ME

*5nsert cheeky smile*

I love the story so far

the latest chapter was too short for my taste however

why dont you post two chapters together if you are going to post small chapters

I assume harry is going into ravenclaw

my guess on what last line means:hat wants to talk to harry and so sorting is temporarily discontinued

Cant wait for your next chapter

10 points "Less Wrong" for your story(assuming that that is your name

hhrforeverhhr chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
hahaha, very nice... ghost busters... hilarious.. short chapter tho, i was expecting something long, so that we atleast get past the sorting, but oh well.. update soon.
alichi chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Well, if the voice is the hat it's commenting on the fact that Harry doesn't believe in magic (loath that word...Magic...).

Because of his rational mind he refuses to admit that magic does exist, magic is a name for things one doesn't understand and simply cannot explain. And your Harry refuses to allow those kinda exceptions to exist in his universe.

Scientists refuse to label strange phenomenon magic and spend time trying to figure out what makes this universe tic, I believe your Harry wouldn't want to label anything magic either.

Thats my guess atleast.

Looking forward to April 3rd
EntropicSpecter chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
It's great to see you write something. Something awesome. That's what this story is. Awesome. The Ghostbusters reference didn't do much for me, since I never came into much contact with that stuff, but apart from that, I thoroughly enjoyed the whole story. In a rational way.

Since I am quite confident that you are very well calibrated and since you stated your confidence, I shall gleefully anticipate the next chapter. Seeing all the blue text slashed by the red should be quite interesting. Oh? Not a..? Of course, never mind then.
SituationalExtrovert chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Uh-oh! Snape is NOT a happy camper! Let's hope he takes it out on Gred & Forge and not poor Innocent (snort) Harry.

As for the last sentence... I haven't the vaguest, so I'll hazard two wild guesses.

1) No one has ever asked the Hat anything before

2) Harry is (gasp!) unsortable

Whatever it is doesn't really matter to me; it will, at the very least, be interesting.

And I still wanna be your minion.


Bailey Matutine chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
The logical assumption is that the hat has never sorted a horcrux before.

The illogical assumption is that the hat has never had a child deliberately open communications with it first.

But the conclusion that my fae soul thinks is truly correct?

It's something to do with that 26 hour sleep cycle from earlier.
Robin Moto chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I've only just started reading this story due to the amount of times I've seen it on favourite lists, and I really am impressed.

You have me routing for Smart!Harry like never before, and I'm really glad that you haven't taken the route most Smart!Harry stories take. This is funny, and I love it, but Harry isn't blinded by the magic.

Also your Harry is... wonderful.

Brave enough to keep trying even when he doesn't get the result he hoped for. Ambitious enough to turn the whole magical world on it's head, intelligent enough to achieve it, hardworking enough that now he's seen his goal he's going to see it through.

The hat's got it's work cut out for it, doesn't it. ;)

McGonagall may hope Harry's a shoe in for Ravenclaw, but I can't guess where he'll go at this point, and that's rather unusual, so I'll be waiting anxiously for your next chapter.
fan567 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Nice chapter. But a bit ... less than expected lengthwise after the last three long chapters.

I’ve got several theories about last sentence:

obvious answer would be that Sorting Hat was talking about Harry surviving killing curse. But that wouldn’t be such a surprise. Hat could get that information sooner from any other child.

from the same category: Sorting Hat was talking about horcrux in Harry’s scar. But that answer doesn’t follow the first rule of detective novels: it can’t be deduced from previous clues. Besides in canon it’s not impossible to make horcruxes from living things. And “800-year-old telepathic artifact” would know that.

is something unique with Harry’s mind. He is extremely balanced person and Hat doesn’t know where to place him. Or he’s got natural occlumency shields at 11. Or his thought process so unique that can’t be understood. I REALLY hope this is NOT the right answer. It’s too cliché. As author you could do that, but from your previous work I think it’s quite unlikely. Even when you use some cliché (like supertrunk) you add a nice touch to it: “trunk scurried in after him, grew to three times its former diameter? and snuggled up next to her own in an oddly disturbing fashion”.

guess is Sorting Hat was overloaded by Harry’s questions. Especially by the thought “of being aware of its own awareness” and its own creation. These questions are difficult for humans to comprehend. As for Hat ...

In case I’m right in my guess I don’t want to know the rest of the plot ahead of time. I’d better read the next chapter’s draft before April 3rd.

And sorry for my English. It’s not my main language. So there bound to be some mistakes, even if I can’t find them. I’d be glad if you pointed them to me.

Sorry for the previous unsigned review.
ytreza chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
I agree with what you said in your author note about originality.

However i think that what you have asked is twice impossible: for one, i'm always eager to see the sorting because it is always a crux in the HP stories and a ways to see how the author is going to lead the plot. As always in this case, we can argue for any house. Ravenclaw for his smarts, Slytherin for his ambition to change the world, Gryffindor for his courage to actually do it and Hufflpuff for his loyalty to the concept of science.

For the other point, it's worse than the question of the chicken and the egg: you show us an egg and ask us what will become of it. Perhaps it will be a chicken, perhaps its going to be eaten raw, or boiled then eaten, or it's going to rot before being thrown at dumbledore...

It's a pointless exercise, wich is exactly why i'm going to throw you a few guess (all of them false i'm sure) but i prefer you to ask this to the authors which want their reader to tell them what the pairing of their story is going to be.

Here it is for the guess:

It could be that the hat has never seen somebody thinking like a scientist, or his brain works exactly like Rowena's and it has never happened before, he is the first child who want to discuss magic with it, the first to ask not to be sorted, to be scanned more than needed to be sorted by the hat, there was in fact a fifth founder which was a squib scientist (one thousand years ago it was probably the beginnings of alchemy) but harry is the first to fit this founder house (unlikely since it is almost a HP cliché and you are carefull to avoid thoses... But it was perhaps misdirection ;D )

In all cases,

Awaiting eagerly next chapter.

kail chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
short, no action, nothing, but interesting. longer chapter PLEASE!
malko050987 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Huzzah for Monty Python reference!

fan567 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Nice chapter. But a bit ... less than expected lengthwise after the last three long chapters.

I’ve got several theories about last sentence:

obvious answer would be that Sorting Hat was talking about Harry surviving killing curse. But that wouldn’t be such a surprise. Hat could get that information sooner from any other child.

from the same category: Sorting Hat was talking about horcrux in Harry’s scar. But that answer doesn’t follow the first rule of detective novels: it can’t be deduced from previous clues. Besides in canon it’s not impossible to make horcruxes from living things. And “800-year-old telepathic artifact” would know that.

is something unique with Harry’s mind. He is extremely balanced person and Hat doesn’t know where to place him. Or he’s got natural occlumency shields at 11. Or his thought process so unique that can’t be understood. I REALLY hope this is NOT the right answer. It’s too cliché. As author you could do that, but from your previous work I think it’s quite unlikely. Even when you use some cliché (like supertrunk) you add a nice touch to it: “trunk scurried in after him, grew to three times its former diameter? and snuggled up next to her own in an oddly disturbing fashion”.

guess is Sorting Hat was overloaded by Harry’s questions. Especially by the thought “of being aware of its own awareness” and its own creation. These questions are difficult for humans to comprehend. As for Hat ...

In case I’m right in my guess I don’t want to know the rest of the plot ahead of time. I’d better read the next chapter’s draft before April 3rd.

And sorry for my English. It’s not my main language. So there bound to be some mistakes, even if I can’t find them. I’d be glad if you pointed them to me.
Chibi-Reaper chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
'This has never happened before.'

Hmm... I'm going to guess that the Sorting Hat can't actually hear anything that Harry's thinking, or that he can't look into his head to guage it at all, for some reason.
acquaatnu chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Good story so far. A different twist on smart/powerful Harry. In response to what the hat is talking about; its that this is the first time that anyone has upstaged his singing with their own song.
Sorvik chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Oh wow... Terrible way to end that chap!

People really hate this story huh... don't see why, it is great, a bit lengthy in a bit of the scientific explanations, but interesting.

The last line can be any number of possible things, the Hat never being asked... well anything like that, the hat amazed that he guessed right on many things, it could be the piece of Tom's soul, uncorrupted by Harry's soul, realizing the perdiciment.

Even if I am right, I don't want to know the rest of the plot, just keep the updates coming and I will be happy.
faithaholic chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
you are evil. just plain evil. please post the other part now, i have to know what happens. please please please. i'll do anything... i'll be your slave for a week (hm... maybe that only works on my sister...) please.
devoted2know chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Well done! I'm sorry to say I haven't seen Ghostbusters in years(!), so I couldn't hum along (since I read this at a safe distance from others). I'm not even going to guess where you're going with this- I don't think I have a chance, but I know I'm going to enjoy it!
Chris P chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Don't spoil the plot it if I guess it...

But I'm going to guess: his mind is ordered in such a way, that the hat can't read the 'feeling' of his mind. In just such a way to have harry get annoyed that you can't read general feelings of a mind...
Violet Shadows chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Heh, you care way too much about what other people think about this story; that said, this chapter was pretty good. While I'm not one to particularly like short chapters, if you say you need it for the pacing I'll judge it after part two - really my only problem with this was though I thought your introduction of a revised version of the ghostbuster's theme was amusing at first, the general loss of comedic pacing because of the song's lyrics kind of killed the moment. It was an awesome idea, but ultimately it failed in its execution. I have no idea how you would go about fixing something like that, but there you go.
DaveInACave chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Well that's one way to drum up another few hundred reviews.

As to your not cliche claim... well I can't really definitively say it isn't there are one or two things that skirt the edge of HP cliche. For example: Harry with a mental disorder resulting in him being unusually brilliant but have trouble with people skills. Draco simply spouting off what his father knows and being shaken by the simplest request for his OWN thoughts has been done a few dozen times before as well although you did explain it reasonably which most don't bother. (Technically speaking, some HP cliche's have become so general that so long as you follow any semblance of HP canon plot that your cliche on that virtue alone. Anyone that care's that much about cliche should have given up on HP fanfiction altogether by now and if not that they are full of shite.)

You should really clarify whether we get one guess per review though. Your liable to end up with a few dozens essays all just firing random shots in the dark in the vain hopes of hitting the one microscopic target that you've hidden behind a tree. :P

So here's mine:

To get the completely obvious and unlikely out of the way:

He (the hat) could be referring to Harry not wanting to be sorted.

He could be referring to Harry asking so many questions.

(Although that's somewhat*cough* unlikely)

He could be referring to Harry asking him what the ancient magics were, whether he knows them or not.

He could be referring to a student being evenly suited for all houses. (although that would kinda break your no cliche claims :P)

He could be referring to sorting Harry into Gryffindor resulting in him being friends with all 4 houses.

He could be referring to Harry NOT having immediately started spouting what house he wanted and didn't want.

He could be referring to Harry having to "minds" or some such due to the presence of the horcrux in his scar (If you even are going that route)

He could be referring to Harry having some sort of natural occlumency (Again, enter the cliche) as a result of his mental focus or state. ("Silence of Harry's spirit" does sound remarkably like "Clear your mind". Then again this is too obvious for you to be this confident that no one will get it.)

He could be referring to Harry wanting to take over the world and knowing it this young.

To start delving into more obtuse reasoning:

He could be referring to Harry using some other language (Whether it be an actual spoken language or a computer language/code) in his thoughts to the point where the Hat has no idea what's going on in his brain.

He could be referring to the musical number before Harry's sorting.

The Hat could be referring to something entirely and completely (or just mostly I suppose) unrelated to Harry, his mind, or his sorting. IE. I've (The hat) left the stove on, I've lost a piece of myself, I've soiled myself.

He could be referring to any number of things whether they be just random or specific. Really considering your asking us to guess at such a vague statement, I'm gonna end with that the Hat could be referring to absolutely nothing at all.

You received 11 reviews while I wrote mine. And it didn't take me very long. Congratulations ;)
SomeGuyFawkes chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
So, apparently Harry is jerked around, like a marionette, and against his will, but he's not the slightest bit concerned?

As for your challenge, it's a meaningless fake. No matter what we say, you could claim otherwise and alter the story to fit. This can only be remedied by placing the answer with a trusted (by us) broker ahead of time. Where's the sealed envelope? ;-)
Edengrave chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
A pleasure as always.

I knew he was smart. But one question really impressed me, and showed just how self aware he is: "Is the Dark Lord's ghost bound to my scar and is that why I get so angry sometimes?" I only wish I was that rational! :) looking forward to see the next chap, I am quite satisfied with the sorting. funny enough, things are fresh, because for once people went were they were supposed to go in the first place. (Hermione and Neville) The song from the weasleys twins showed me just how crazy and fearless these 2 are. Poor Snape is so easily manipulated..makes you wonder how someone so emotional can be so good at occlumency. or maybe that's why. Funny how for once Minerva didn't want him. Afraid he'll takeover no doubt. Can't wait to hear what the hat has to say. thanks for the great read
Hoshi Kawada chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Lemme guess: either the sorting hat is referring to Harry's questions, or he's referring to the fact that Harry, for some inexplicable reason, can't be sorted. Or (say it isn't so) Harry could be some sort of reincarnation, and the Hat's registering the person he was before?
David M. Potter chapter 9 . 3/31/2010

Tula chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
leaving aside the ghostbuster stuff since i honestly found it over the top and unnecessary the last paragraph made me laugh.

i can almost imagine the sorting hat trying to hide from Harry in the future :p
Wonderbee31 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Why can I see Harry and the twins getting onto Snape because his blood pressure has dropped below a certain point? LOL, I've got to say that I wasn't expecting this for a sorting, and can't wait to see what happens next with Harry, as McG certainly could do without him, and Snape looks about ready to have a stroke, so imagine Harry in his house?
KGB chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Well considering that you're not limiting the amount of guesses you may take... I'll start with the clichés and work towards the more likely ones. I'll only write the likely ones or I'll go over the character limit and I'm just lazy.

If the voice isn't the sorting hat (well it is a possibility not to be discounted.), I assume that a spare soul in Harry woke up (most likely the soul of the dark lord, but others could too, like Lilly's soul from the protection she made). It's in a new body (Harry's body), which is something that has never happened before to the soul and/or the sorting hat. Or it could be Hogwarts gaining sentience and directly speaking to Harry, using the sorting hat as a medium.

- Harry is balanced between houses. Some of his questions are Slytherin (what are the weaknesses of Voldemort), for a Hufflepuff reason (I don't want to let the people down). It's very Ravenclaw like to ask questions, but to ask them of the sorting hat is a very Gryffindor thing to do (considering it's supposed to sort you, you don't want it mad at you).

- Harry's mind is shielded or for some other reason not accessible.

- Harry is the reincarnation of one of the founders. This is the first time the hat sorted one of the founders or their reincarnation in a house other than their own.

- The sorting hat isn't actually made to sort, but all the headmasters used it for that function. Harry woke up a dormant part of it, which is now going to ... doesn't matter it woke up and that has never happened before.

- The sorting hat is a horcrux (founder or Voldemort it doesn't matter) and just woke up.

- Harry fainted when he heard the voice of the sorting hat, but I think that would have happened before.

- Harry broke the sorting hat with his questions or mind, luckily there is a backup or something and it's responding to Harry.

- Harry had his first orgasm, which is also the first orgasm the hat felt.

Also possible:

*you're lazy and didn't have any idea what to do, so you're using the reviews as a way to ideas on what to do or more likely not to do (considering you want to be original). The person getting this right, would get the entire plot, but you're still working on the plot so there is nothing to gain.

*it's an early 1 April joke and you want to get more reviews.
Shodatl chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
The Sorting hat mentioning some sort of issue with harry that involves him not being able to read his mind completely.

Or something of that nature.

Honestly, i don't believe i'm gonna get it anyway. "

Great chapter... Personally i believe Hermione IS that intelligent.

Remembering names and chapters from books she read years ago (without them being truly memorable)?

mwinter1 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
okay, I have hardly reviewed, but now i will. AH. I really hate well thought out cliff hangers. Please post the second part soon please.
Katara97 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
That was brilliant.
SAzraf chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Wow. This is story is awesome! Very..rational, and unique. I really enjoyed reading, and laughed quite a few times. Thank you very much for writing, and please keep it up! I'll definitely be back to read future chapters. :D
oxymoron8 chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
"I suppose I should go back inside" I cheated a bit and googled it, so that is perhaps not right. Great chapter. I like Harry trying to get the jump on knowing things. Cannot wait to see what the hat has to say to him or if it will just sort him. Lovely song towards the end now I'm going to have it stuck in my head. And to all your haters out there that say that you are going to fail, I scoff at them for trying to get you to fail by saying that you will with their negative reinforcement. Happy writing and keep up the great work. :)
Kiirei chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Still loving this! I'm betting the Sorting Hat didn't have to deal with anything like Harry in a long long time *gg*
eggplant purple chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
haha :) LOVE IT! who you gonna call?


hehe cant wait for the next chapter.

Happy Writing

graynavarre chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
First, no, I have no idea what that refers - I got some guesses, but they are probably all wrong.

Snape is going to kill him. Minerva is going to kill the twins and the hat is going to crumble and die of fear.

I must read again when I stop laughing.
Aealket chapter 9 . 3/31/2010

Thanks Muchs for that update. It was really quite fun.

Rufus Shinra SFFS chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Yep, that's just brilliant ! Those are the Weasleys we know and like, and I know some teachers who're going to want a lot of headache medicine during these seven years (or less).
alguLoD chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Considering the Foreword/Author's Note, I'd call you arrogant except that every single damn word is bloody true. This was one awesome, lol-filled chapter you got out this time. I especially liked Snape's reaction.

I look forward to many new chapters, and I also wish to tell you; I believe you'll make it through to the end. Screw the other trolling guys; honestly, it's not exactly a normal person writing this! ;)
peoplhi chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
i'm going to take a wild shot in the dark here.

hat can't make a decision?

reasons could be:

1. harry is too balanced between two or more houses.

2. harry's mind is shielded.

my guess would be the second.

if i was to make another guess, maybe the hat isn't having trouble making a decision. maybe harry fits so strongly into a house that the hat is surprised by it.

if i could make a third guess. the hat used to be human and as punishment was turned into a hat. and in thousands of years it has never relieved it's non-existent bowels until now... on top of harry's head.
Crristy chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
A great chapter but you better update soon!
Baughn chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Oh dear. Let's see.

The /obvious/ answer is that the hat's talking about Harry's questioning, but if the answer was anything obvious you wouldn't expect that not a single one of your fans would find it. Still, you never said there was an actual limit to the number of guesses, so, roughly in reverse order of belief:

- Nobody has yet asked the hat to delay the sorting for talk.

- Nobody has before asked the hat such questions, period.

- First time it's seen an obliviated student, or one who knows to ask about it.

- This is the first time anyone has asked it about how it was made, or old magic in general.

- It's the first time it's had to sort a horcrux. But that doesn't work with the canon sorting.

- It's the first time it's sorted a nonhuman mind, or a mind that's trying its very best to make itself nonhuman (or "sane"?).

- First time it's seen a scientifically minded, er, mind. That is to say, one that might reasonably accomplish the task of raveling magic. (Is that an actual word? I shouldn't assume it is just because Eliezer used it..)

- It's the first time it's seen a mind that just plain cannot be sorted, either because it fits none of the houses, or too many.

- It's the first time it's been /unable/ to read a mind, perhaps due to odd organization. Which would again point to Harry being an AI. Yes, I'm stuck on that.

That's what occurs to me in the first five minutes, at any rate. I'd add more guesses, but since there's no prize other than satisfaction I don't think I'll bother.

If by some miracle one of them is correct, I'd rather not know anything about the future plot. It's much more interesting to read the story as it comes out. Instead, perhaps we could arrange for a reproductive contract?
poloport chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
very funny
Arkeus chapter 9 . 3/31/2010

Hate the Dance thing- it looked too goofy, and while far from useless (indeed, it might very well make a Gryffindor out of Harry sadly) it still was very much annoying.

As for what happened... Still wondering if this isn't some kind of time-travel.
Allen Pitt chapter 9 . 3/31/2010
Might be interesting if the Sorting Hat is really an "Oz" kind of thing ie (ignore that man behind the curtain!), it's operated by one of the teachers or by the Headmaster...

And yes, HP managed to antagonize Snape MORE than he did in the books, good going!. Hey- are you saying that teachers when taking points away, can't have the total go negative? It can never be less than zero? For shame! (on their part)

The Obliviation question is really interesting. Must have really shaken him to learn that could be done to people. At least he'll be prepared for the DADA teacher in year 2..

Potions class is going to be an exercise in frustration-unlike chemistry say, there's zero talk about underlying principles & formulas. It's just "here, memorize this recipe, then follow it and make something". It's cookbook-science. "do this, get this effect". HP will hate that and probably ask lots of questions about why things happen that will drive Snape up the wall...