Great time travel/romance story.

Thanks

Still loving the story and can't wait to read the rest of it especially since it's already completed which is awesome! Just wanted to point out you have a very very very small problem in this chapter and that is you used Hermione's dad's name as Dan which I know in Canon his mom and dad are Emma and Dan but you changed the names in this story which is fine every author does their own thing but I just want to point out that one time you did miss Bell misspoke Miss wright whatever you want to call it and called him Dan but immediately went back to calling him Steven so I just wanted to point that out. Again great story so far!

When the Weasley parents were basically falling to their deaths why didn't anyone around them who all had wands use either accio or like in Harry's first year I think it was when he fell off his broomstick and I think it was Dumbledore used umm arresto momentum? and I'm sure there's other ones as well that work like a fishing hooker etc etc when someone is falling so yeah why didn't anyone use any sort of spell to try and catch them or slow their movement or save them cuz if it was only 50 ft and I know I said only but Harry fell from a lot further from his broom when the second spell have also caused them to slow enough that they didn't you know turn into a pancake when they hit the ground?

Most of this chapter is really good but I have a really big big sticking point with part of it. that part is Harry suddenly changing his opinion just on the idea that Snape might have been beaten by his dad as a kid. I have to totally call bullshit on this! And for me if I was Harry and even me personally I do not care who the fuck beat him as a child if when he grew up he decided to murder multiple people that were my friends and allies and other innocent people in general. That is his decision that is the type of person he turned out to be he is scum he is shit he is worst of the worst cuz I bet you murdering wasn't all he did. And I know he's a fictional character and all this but I mean within not only a story but this story in particular I cannot see Harry changing his opinion about the man himself when he knows what he did in the future and what he's already probably currently doing as a spy or a death eater or a person as an adult. It just would not happen. Especially now is he's going about the thought of hey here's death either children that haven't done anything and I'm totally willing to kill them but oh no Snape must have had a horrible childhood he's totally okay I understand what he did now again totally not happening. It just doesn't seem realistic!

A must read for H/H. A time travel that shows even one change is a butterfly effect! Or ripples in a pond. The chaos theory!

...made sense to me not to tell the 2 muggle who couldn't protect their minds the truth. True it hurts not to know but sometimes knowing can hurt so much more than not knowing. Image if Dumbles or some shady ministry minion came along and scanned their minds, this whole thing would have been blown.

Great story, I really liked it!Thank you for writing it and sharing the story with us.

I will say this now: I swallow some of the words I stated earlier about he fic not having anything of importance ocurring at the forefront. It is still not enough, in my opinion, but it warrants a retraction of my previous lambasting of the work.

In the next chapters since my last review, the plot finally moves forward somewhat. Snape being with his master, Moody with the party, etcetera, etcetera. Some action scenes were also introduced and are ok. A bit of romance here and there are also included. So yay for finally seeing something which resemble the genre this had been categorized into.

Even my complain about the fic's rating was proven to be wrong. The homunculus part was hardcore. Though I felt the delivery lacking; disbelief was there as well as the revulsion but there was something missing from it completely coming as sick and twisted. Don't get me wrong as it is that but I mean the feeling of the delivery was lacking somewhat. (NOTE: This is highly subjective)

But it feels like two steps forward and two steps back with this fic. I swear, I feel it's just messing with me: when I sense that it is being brilliant, it then crushes my hopes to nothing.

An example of this is the handling of Chief Dumbles. Discounting the canon work, the Dumbles of this fic is a bumbling asshat who dreams himself a tactician. The readers know this as well as the protagonists. So why did it only took a few paragraphs and they already interact with him like they fully forgive him? That is so out of character for them. Sure they need him but what I expected the scene to entail is neutral interaction face to face while disgust and rage when they are speaking amongst themselves.

Maybe the key problem with the fic is the lack of time to properly expound on the important bits. A lot of the time was spent on dealing with the "Family" subplot (still cannot get to like that part) instead of dealing with plot-related matters. I think that the scope the author tried to tackle here is worth 50 chapters, not 14.

Last two chapters then. Have a good one.

8 chapters in, I can't get immersed with the world yet I cannot drop it. A strange situation for me...

One reason is the way the author keeps shoving the "Family" in my face. It feels I am reading a mafia-related work instead of HP. You already established, albeit poorly, that they have deeper bonds than friendship. I get it already so I hope we could move on to something better?

Aside from quips, info dump, and regurgitation of the current status, nothing happens in this fic. By that, I mean nothing happens that advances the plot forward (plot-relevant). Nothing occur in the scenes we could see. The genres associated to this fic are Adventure Romance and none of these could be seen in the actual scenes. If anything, this is a Friendship-Family literature. The killings of DE as well as the burning of their stuff all happen off-screen and these move the overarching plot. All we have are gift buying, clothes measuring, and poker. Come on.

The repetitive use of remorse in killing DE scum was getting old and severely losing impact. The first time it was use was cool. The 5th or nth time not so.

Related to the last sentence above, the rating of this should be T at most. The gory details of murder and related happen off-screen. The sexual assault almost 13-and-up rating. The intercourse non-existent (on screen - and no, "they spent the night in each other's embrace" does not necessarily correlate with "and they fucked").

Now the good part: several parts of the writing is nice. The quips, the yeasing, and the banter are well. The expression of wrath and rage are on point. And the severely few action scenes are well crafted.

The start has such wonderful potential, really. It had the chance to be on par with fics like HP and The Last Chance by LeQuin in terms of plot structure but it quite wasted its potential. I say wasted as only 4 chapters remain and almost nothing much can be done to save the fic from a 5/10 score (though many can be done to do a 1/10).

I will continue to read the fic, as I said I cannot drop it due to the writing. But any investment I had with the story is almost gone (it has parts that feel like I am merely slogging through). I will share my final recommendation at the end, so see you there.

Have a good one.

It is an ok story, so far. A bit of feedback, though, in no particular order.

I am questioning the need for either of the two to share their woes with other members of their group (the so-called "family"). Sure they suffered psychological trauma in their previous life but none of the members have the capacity to deal with any of their woes.

I question the "family" you introduced. The current members are no longer the members from the future so it is a bit questionable that everything related to them is suddenly well. McGonagall, Sirius, and Remus of the now are not the McGonagall, Sirius, and Remus of the future so that they are suddenly so close is weird.

I am not sure, but this work feels dry. Like nothing of importance happens aside from the author shoving the "family" dynamics down the reader's throats. Heck, I feel that the HHr in this is just to progress the "family's" story. Radical suggestion but maybe this fic should be titled "Harry Potter and the Family's Beginning"?

That is not to say that it is a bad fic. It has an interesting, albeit abused, concept of time travel in HHr format. It is just that I am unsure what is the tone of the story: there is angst but it is weird, unresolved, or resolved in an unsatisfactory way; there is comedy but in microscopic doses; there is action but only to progress drama; there is drama but I am unsure what the target is... I am so confused.

I will continue to read the story and reserve any judgement at the end but I rate the story 5/10. Not bad though not really that good... It is in limbo, like what I understand the story's state is.

Wow! Great love story, well that's how I see it. Thanks for sharing!

there is no organization in the Harry Potter universe that goes by the initial there is an organization called theD)MLE" I do not know why so many offers out there can't read the information correctly it may be a mistake or it may just be an heir but it is annoying when I'm trying to listen to your story and it's not saying the correct organization I know I'm griping I know I'm glad being off about something non important but hey what is constructive criticism for anyways

I didn't twig when I saw Mr Finch, so when the Atticus part of his name was mentioned there was that "Oh crap!" moment.

Now with both Arthur and Molly gone, where will the money for those five Weasleys to remain in Hogwarts? Hoping that Dumbles won't try one of his guilt trips on Harry, implying that as Harry is heir to the Potter fortune he should pay their freight. After all, Ron is such a good friend (as if) and Ginny is such a lovely girl, etc etc etc.

Considering the very unlikely situation of somehow getting any of the mini Mortality Munchers away from the path they would follow in the future, it wouldn't make me uncomfortable to take them out now.