|Reviews for Return of XIV|
| LoveIsEternal chapter 1 . 1/14/2012
i know ive only read one chappter but its so goooooodd!
ps. lol " I'd rather fight a thousand heartless then go to math"
Sora did fight a thousand heartless in KH2... or was were they Nobodies...
pps. ive never actually played KH but my cousin plays it and i love watching him do it. it was so sad when Xion died.
anyway enough of my babbling
| roxasXxion forever chapter 4 . 12/30/2011
Uh I can't wait for the next please update very soon
| sunflowergem chapter 4 . 6/30/2011
Will you please update? I love this idea _
| Kamikaze of Fire chapter 4 . 6/28/2011
Please write more? I like it! :D
| Gear001 chapter 4 . 6/21/2011
Knock knock, author? You in there? Finish this fiction!
| Gamer Dude chapter 4 . 4/12/2010
O this story is getting better by the chapters hurry up post next chapter it is getting good. Please?
| Alysaya chapter 4 . 3/16/2010
AWEZOMENESS! man malificent scares me! can you maybe write more?
| Taeniaea chapter 4 . 3/11/2010
Very Very Cool Story
| RequiemArc chapter 4 . 3/5/2010
Hey, good chapter, thanks for the name compliment, lol. Actually though its Sirus Black (sear-rus)I've had the name in my head for so long that when I read the prisoner of azkaban I thought rowling had stolen it and changed it a little,lol. Anyway though, the chapter is good, but there is a slight repetition here.
Now everyone was uncomfortable. Roxas glared at Namine in the silence. "Uh, Sora, can I talk to you?" Sensing the tension, Kairi turned to Sora, very shy. "Uh, Sora, can I talk to you again?" Sora blushed before following her.
It's hard to tell exactly who says the first "can I talk to you?" or if its even supposed to be there at all. The scene between Sora and Kairi is hilarious though, you definitely did a good job. Again some more sensory details would be good, like instead of justsaying that they went to the island where they used to watch the sunset, try describing it, the creaky wooden bridge connecting it, always encrusted in sand and Sea-salt. The weathered palm tree bending at the perfect angle for them to sit, the sun throwing shards of light of the water, making seem as if it was on fire... Yu can experiment with it a little, again, its just a suggestion, but i think itwould help the writing as a piece. I love how quickly you updated, and I'm sure I've favorited this fic, can't wait for the next chapter, thanks!
| Sentinel07 chapter 4 . 3/4/2010
I agree, Sora is kind of awkward. Then again, that's what makes him so funny.
This story is really getting good now. Looking forward to the next one!
Keep up the good work!
| miyakiki-sama chapter 4 . 3/4/2010
i think what keyblade your reffering to is almost like two become one right? and omg xion her second third lmao!and poor roxas!
| Cori Shadowfang chapter 4 . 3/4/2010
Good story so far! I like to see that you're bringing Xion back, she's one of my favorite characters, and I agree with you; Roxas and Xion should definately be together. There are a few mistakes (like typing 'Uh, can I talk to you?' twice, though a little differently, too close together), but it's still good. Everyone's in character, which is always nice to see, and Maleficent...is a jerk, no other way to put it. It's an interesting twist, having Xion end up fighting against Sora, though I hope it's not too long before she stops trying...
Anyways, good so far, and I'll look forward to more! And, with Riku's parenoid predictions...well, parenoid people have to be right sometimes, huh?
| AJ1ri chapter 4 . 3/4/2010
Some? The only way you could done better is if Sora missed completely and fell off the tree! (would falling into the water be too much?) Great chapter! I wonder what Roxas will do next time he sees Xion? In other words, I hope you update soon!
| caitlinkeitorin chapter 4 . 3/4/2010
awkward is such an understatement...idk i guess it was fine, just...wierd..
| RequiemArc chapter 3 . 3/4/2010
Hey, this is a really well done fanfic, which is hard to find on here. your writing is good but try to add some more concrete details, not just describe the setting. Even though this is a fanfic and everyones supposed to know what it looks like, it helps the writing as a piece if you try to make it as good as you can. For instance instead of just saying she fell onto a lime green platform you could descibe it as stained glass, and even go farther than that. Of course, this is just a suggestion, this is your fanfic after all, just trying to offer some constructive critisism. Over all I like how the fanfic is going, and am wondering how its going to play out. Can't wait for the next chapter.