|Reviews for The Desert Prince|
| rovhatree chapter 3 . 10/20/2012
when is going to be a new chapter?'
| Maxwell chapter 16 . 9/14/2011
I must say, very well written story. Sure there were a few typos but I don't care bout that. The story had a very good timeline, accurate info on monsters and equipment and I loved the characters. Overall, this was a very nice fanfiction story. Nice Work!
Monster Hunter Story Writter
| toxic ninja chapter 1 . 6/1/2011
what the f#%$* up with all the complicated names?
| Sky King Los chapter 16 . 1/25/2011
Finally! Nice chapter!
| TeeHunter13 chapter 14 . 6/17/2010
Not bad,I'd say,but LACK FLUFFINESS!I wanna see a MH,love fanfic...REAL love fanfic,not"Took his hand,he blushed".That looks...bad for 's go get some REAL LOVE ACTION fics!Hope u ll update soon.
| Osiran Duelist chapter 10 . 4/28/2010
Good chappie, but you should make up your mind what tense your writing in. It goes from past to present tense and it's kinda confusing to read.
| Kamikaze Bear chapter 7 . 4/1/2010
Senpai! my story's going astray i don't know why i'm no god! (
| Yasundai chapter 7 . 4/1/2010
Nice story, hahaha Long chapter this one is, Good good. Though add more action, priest talk... can be... a bit boring at times, I'm just saying, I don't know with you, your story, not mine :D
As for this random hunter, who is he?
| Osiran Duelist chapter 7 . 3/26/2010
Hmm...it appears to me that I must assume my writer critic mask once more...
Firstly, I need to remind you to check you spelling and grammar...and punctuation marks. Secondly, you must indicate the chapter title (if you have one) by either making the font bigger, or making it bold. And it has come to my attention that you do not use descriptive words very well. Use your imagination, Gio-kun! Put more adjectives, actions, and descriptions to make your story more interesting to read. And refrain from using the "..." too often, it's kinda distracting and makes the story appear too...bare. Use it only when you want to add a little tension or say something shocking, or when your character is out of breath or injured or dying.
I'm sorry for typing a lot, but know that i want you to make your story one of the best if not the best MH fanfics.
And...I noticed that Yasundai spelled Gio-kohai wrong. Shame.
Don't forget what i have said! -
| Yasundai chapter 5 . 3/21/2010
Good that you made a chapter for introducing the characters, but my advice is add the infoon the armors, and have a scan on this chapter again, I noticed some misspelled words.
Like Aburakado isn't from the sanG village... :D
and Xiaoyen's first line, well, you kinda misspelled her name, you spelled it Xioayen... anyway, so far so good, very minor errors spotted
| Earl Omega chapter 3 . 3/13/2010
Bishop Myriel signing in once more!
It's a good story, but no story is ever perfect. Remember to refine, prune and edit. I saw a few errors here and there.
Also, don't use ". . ." too much. Doesn't really make a lot of sense.
OK, that's it. Bye!
| Yasundai chapter 3 . 3/13/2010
Gio Koh-hai, the story seems to be going well, in fact I like it, the last part of this chapter made me laugh hehhee
Keep up the good work, though, please watch out for grammar mistakes, I've spotted a number, the story's really good, but fix the grammar, and to me, some of the scenes lack details, if it's not a problem, try adding slightly more details to it, it would be most outstanding.
Keep up the good work
| Earl Omega chapter 1 . 3/5/2010
Yes, Bishop Myriel is here to annoy you once again.
This story is good, though there's a lot of room for improvement. Keep an eye on your grammar or spelling or syntax. If you want to be surrounded by spelling dictionaries or stuff like that while you write, then by all means, do so! We're all entitled to our own style of how we write and how we go about the process of writing.
Will stick around for more.
| Osiran Duelist chapter 1 . 3/5/2010
It was kinda short, but otherwise a good read. Oh, and don't forget to double-check your story, I spotted some errors here and there.
| myself chapter 1 . 3/4/2010