Reviews for Sleeping with the Girls, Vol I: Fictional Reality
Guest chapter 21 . 7/5
" peaked through the opening. " peeked
Guest chapter 18 . 7/5
"She didn't even knick my fingers."nick
Guest chapter 12 . 7/4
"My blood ran could. " cold
Guest chapter 8 . 7/4
"coup-de-gras on all this" 'touch of fat'? [i]coup de grace[/i]
"Bullzeye!" Bullseye
" Tinitis," tinnitus
Guest chapter 3 . 7/4
" discretely touch nothing " discreetly
Guest chapter 2 . 7/4
"and lead wherever she wanted to go." led (in fact, every instance of "lead" in this chapter should be "led")
" non-sequiter." non-sequitur
tsukishima7 chapter 17 . 3/22
It became dull after the novelty wore off, I wished your plot armor would go away and you actually die now.
tH1s chapter 2 . 12/31/2015
Interesting but I am not that impress with your very large computer system. Its just screams trying too hard. That kind of computer system is just completely unnecessary. Ever heard of the internet or cloud computing in particular. Dimensional tunneling? That just makes me laugh

Forgive me if this is canon as I am not familiar with it but I have a dislike of authors who dump techno babble without any understanding about how computers work, function and how it is develop.
MangaGrl2665 chapter 22 . 11/27/2015
Normally I hate Insertations like this one...This was BRILLIANT! So good. SO, so, So good! I love how the inserted character has flaws...aka not a Mary Sue type. It was amazing. Now off to read Vol.2
SidJ chapter 2 . 9/14/2015
The more I read the more I get confused. i guess you can only enjoy this story if you know the original cannon. Too bad, I was liking the character.
thebluninja chapter 21 . 7/2/2015
Monologues are typically the sign of the *villain* of the piece, silly Walker.

I can't help but think that Cinque would be better off if Walker just left her there. Unless she's spurting blood around the edges of the wound, it's highly unlikely to be fatal.

Also, have to laugh at the unintentional backfire on Tre's part, thinking she can knock him unconscious, only to then have him go *pop* off to another universe.
thebluninja chapter 20 . 7/2/2015
I hate to say it, but a suicide play isn't the best move 99% of the time. You only use it when dying literally is better than being taken alive. Not to mention, what does blowing up the rainbow crystal do to both this universe and Sailor Moon? Especially with Luna here on this side of things.

... if their names are all numbers ... how the hell does Wendi fit in? That's not a number. Bah, it's probably explained in the anime.

Heh, if he knows enough not to put a pin back in a grenade, it does make me wonder how he did plan to get out of this. I mean, especially asleep, how long would he continue holding onto the grenade? Or was he counting on letting go and then vanishing in those five seconds before it went off?
thebluninja chapter 19 . 7/2/2015
Funny, being an older sibling, our whole life my little brother was always falling short of my example according to my mom.

Luna's used to Usagi being naked around her? I mean, yeah she's a cat right now, but that still seems a little immodest. Or Usagi's just a budding nudist.

"Now I'm isnta-drunk " - *insta

.. yeah, clearly there's lots of anime I probably need to be watching, as sadly Quattro means absolutely nothing to me.
thebluninja chapter 17 . 7/2/2015
"Her favorite little 'game' as of late was sideling with Marller " - sideling?

"Haven't you ever tried to do your job when your boss decides to hang with you for the day? " - Depends on the boss - I've had a few awesome ones, but more one who would have made that hell.

Being immune to magic sounds like a nifty little ability. Given that virtually all of the universes so far have had magic, it's one hell of an advantage.

"I'm going to start thinking about the leekspin theme over and over again until the sappiness drives us both mad!" - I'm almost afraid to ask. At least he didn't try threatening her with his recollection of ecchi doujinshi.

"Earth is pretty much run a massively complex super computer " - run *by

I can't wait to see how this all goes horribly, completely wrong. Because it assuredly will.
thebluninja chapter 15 . 7/2/2015
... stop making me tempted to actually go find this Spacebattles and ask for advice.

" I looked up, the episode was almost over. " - I don't think this paragraph is supposed to be in italics.

So, he has decided to DareToBeBadass? At least, I think that's the right trope ...
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