|Reviews for Three Generations|
| Sehkmet chapter 1 . 6/24
Good job. I was rotflmao the entire story. You have a gift for comedy.
| extracutegurl9 chapter 5 . 6/8
There are a lot of things that I dislike about this story. I will list them as bullet points for stylistic reasons. ;)
-Why did you make Cimorene useless? Does she have Alzheimers? Is she actually dead? Did Mendanbar replace her with a golem or homunculus? That would explain why she can't use the sword.
-Why did you reuse the wizard's plan from the fourth book?
-Why didn't you actually describe any of the action or plot points?
-How is T.R. part dragon? Did someone in the royal family get up to some real kinky stuff with the dragons? And how does that work?
-Are adventurers a separate species of human?
-What was the weird beam of light that shot out of the palace at the end?
-Were the voices she kept hearing the readers begging for this story to end? And if so, why put them in the story unless she's part Deadpool?
-Where did her other three family members go while she was in exile?
-What did you mean by comforting?
-Who is Morwren? Did you mean Morwen? Or is Morwen dead too? Were all of the female characters killed and replaced by golems?
-What on earth did those elves do to Tollog? Why did you make him the only useless love interest in the series?
-Why does T.R. never use her fire witch powers? Why does she never shapeshift? You specifically mentioned them in the first chapter, but never used them. Have you never heard of Chekov's Gun?
-Does she have a specific reason for using her initials only and is it the same reason why she refuses to use her full name as monarch?
-Who are the good people/creatures left in the Enchanted Forest? Left after what?
-How did the wizards get past the palace defenses? Were they ruling the Forest the whole time?
-How did she frighten the wizards?
-When did Shiara-sorry- Sharia Law become such a stickler...wait...answered my own question.
-Why is her brother a sissy? Is it to make T.R. look good? It doesn't work.
-Why did that cave have food in it anyways?
The idea of the sword choosing the second child is interesting, wizards attacking could work if they had a reason to attack, and you have a firm grip on sentence structure and spelling. Please work on plot. And then work on it some more. And then ask someone who writes better stories than you to beta.
| ranch-kun chapter 5 . 4/22/2011
WHY! WHY MUST MENDANBAR DIE! HE WAS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER! *Sobs*
| Ava Phoenixia chapter 3 . 12/22/2010
I'm glad you decided to flesh out your story more, as before it was little more than a plot skeleton. However, you need to proofread this. I'd offer, but I haven't got quite enough stories yet.
On a side note: you don't need to put a dash before every paragraph.