|Reviews for The Storyteller|
| The Trinity Tree chapter 1 . 3/8/2010
"If Anaїs Nin embodied silver, Celia born of copper, and his sister carrying a heart of gold, then Khetala was forged out of pure steel."
F. Oh wow, Sasuke. I couldn't tell you why but that has got to be one of my favourite lines ever written. It's just such an amazing metaphor, especially if you consider that most person-to-metal comparisons are applied to male characters. To see it used like this is refreshing and unusual and I love it.
Right then. Back to a coherent summary.
I would question David's lusting after Anais Nin. I just wonder whether a nineteen year old would really look at a fourteen year old, especially a youth otherwise so chivalrous as David. Then again, as you say, she was stunning at fourteen and I suppose for a growing boy stunning is all you need. Shakespeare's Juliet was young too, after all. However you look at it, Anais Nin fitted the first part and I have no complaints about your portrayal of her.
Your choice of subject for passion was an interesting take on the idea, but nonetheless incredibly appropriate for David. (Aren't those ladycordela's exact words, incidentally? If so, nice touch.) And just out of interest, for romance, is that scene based on a real letter you can receive in-game? I seem to recognise it. If not, then I must have at some point received a love letter from a woman and am getting deja vu :S I do like that no character figured in a particular fashion in more than one section. It sort of shows how David and his affections shift and become more... even as he matures.
You characterised Dimo Nor brilliantly here, nailing his dialect. That's something I have terrible trouble with, so kudos. Similarly, when Khetala wanted David to tell a story which taught a lesson it made me smile. You seriously did ladycordelia17's characters justice here. I really enjoyed this :)
| BreathlessCyan chapter 1 . 3/5/2010
O... goodness. David recounts little bits of memory with such clarity it's remarkable. he remembers all the little details, of her face, her hair, her shape. It's interesting to see through his eyes, every little feeling he has when he sees her. I like it, though short. Hope ta see more from ya soon Sas. C:
| ladycordelia17 chapter 1 . 3/5/2010
You flatter me, my good friend. Thank you so much for the excellent work; I'm most impressed with the way you characterized David.
I know but a little of LJ's challenges, but this one worked nicely for this fic, the way each "stage of love" inspires the different moments and reflections for David on the many loves in his life as a caravanner.
Passion and Commitment-yes, he is very much "in it for the village." As he should be; he would probably make as good a leader as Khetala, were something to happen to his Yukish companion. (Probably the only flaw I can find is that bit near Vellenge: Khetala must have at least had the sinking feeling that none of the caravanners would return to Tipa after the final battle; they couldn't be certain of being resurrected if they all died. But I can't fault David for his "to whatever end" commitment, so I can overlook that little nitpick.)
Intimacy-yes indeed; the bond of blood only strengthens where there is trial such as a crystal caravan must meet head-on. And, having a little brother of my own (even though he annoys me plenty), I know from experience the value of youth in keeping a healthy measure of good humor.
Attraction-well, given that I named my Selkie brainchild after a famed erotica writer, "love-and-sex-goddess incarnate" pretty much had to be part of Anais Nin's destiny, even if only one man in all the world could fully appreciate that about her. But it's a good thing the steamy dreams stopped tormenting David before Anais Nin joined the caravan, else problems might have arisen.
Romance-I figured that whichever character you centered your fanfic of my handiwork around, you might give said caravanner a significant other if he/she didn't already have one. Which is not a bad thing at all; only in David's case (were he to marry, but it probably won't actually happen) she'd have to be the type who could take a long wait in between times when she sees him. If Celia is that type, great for them both. If not, oh well, she'll need to find someone else.
Overall, splendid work. (Now all we need is for The Trinity Tree to write a fanfic of some of *your* handiwork for the "Fanfic of a Fanfic" circle to be complete! lol)