|Reviews for Dangers in the past|
| hazelnuticecream chapter 7 . 6/6/2011
I think this is a very interesting story and seems very promising. I'm not sure if I like how you are portraying harry. Likely at 16 and just have vanquished voldemort he wouldn't put his arms around sirius neck in public and snuggle. You're kind of making him at like a very young child, or a little girl. Also changing his eyes would make him look less like lily but since james has hazel eyes it would do nothing to change their resemblance. Also I'm not sure if u changed any of sirius' features because otherwise I'm sure his younger self would know aswell as the other teachers. But beside those few notes I think you're doing a wonderful job and I can't wait to finish the story. :)
| Neumzie chapter 12 . 3/24/2011
"'Ethan and I were walking through the wall on our way outside when a section of the hall opened and death eaters started to come in. We were taken by surprise and didn't have the time to warn anyone. We were very lucky nearly all teachers were near, close enough to hear the shouts when the attack started. We started to fight them and the other professors joined us. Finally, when Ryan came we seemed to have the upper hand, but then a basilisk came out. We didn't stand a chance, we were overwhelmed since no one seemed able to get near the snake to kill it. We were losing badly when...' He stopped suddenly and looked apologetically at Dumbledore. "I think it's better if someone else continues, I know what happened but I didn't see it myself." Dumbledore nodded in agreement and everyone in the room turned to Flitwick.'
you never said who was talking
| Penny is wise chapter 52 . 2/27/2011
| demonturtle chapter 16 . 1/10/2010
I added your story to my new community. "10 reviews or more of the Harry Potter community."
| thenewblack chapter 43 . 12/9/2009
I go by that name here, don't feel like logging in. I really like the story, but I don't know if I will keep reading, because time travel makes my brain hurt, unless you are saying that which exists cannot un-exist.
| DarkFeyLady chapter 22 . 10/30/2009
Oh wormy's very nice.
| kcat chapter 8 . 8/13/2009
I do realise that you wrote this about 7 years ago and I'm sure your writing's changed since; so feel free to disregard this as it may no longer be relevant.
It is for this reason that I'm only going to comment on the use of language and not the plot or general style itself.
Just a few little things really - if you ever take another look at this you may want to revise some of the phrasing. I saw that you're Spanish and I'm very impressed with the english! The only clues I had that you aren't enlgish are the few cases where the phrasing isn't quite right.
in one of the previous chapters you said "he contemplated that it wouldn't be a good idea to go back to sleep"
Contemplated should be replaced with another verb or the entire sentence changed, contemplating isn't a process that decides anything - you can contemplate whether or not to go back to sleep but you can't contemplate that you should wake up
and in this chapter "My mother's sister married a man who hated everything and everyone that was different, out of normal, as they would say"
"out of normal" is wrong, you can say abnormal, not normal but not out of normal.
Just little things like that.
| Ikidori chapter 1 . 7/28/2009
AWESOME! (i did read the whole story, i just went back to the beginning)
| Neumzie chapter 38 . 6/2/2009
you know, whenever i think of them being crucified (kinda), i think of Silent Hill (the movie, not the game). god, that movie was fuckin creepy (sorry for the harsh languange, but i didnt think 'freakin' expressed my creep-out factor enough lol)
| Neumzie chapter 24 . 6/2/2009
ok, as soon as you said that "headmaster" would be the past one and "dumbledore" would be the future one, you put this statement:
"Both nodded at the room and then the headmaster walked towards Harry and took the boy into his arms..."
make up your mind! lol still like the story, but i tend to notice inconsistencies and grammer stuff a lot.
| Neumzie chapter 21 . 6/1/2009
oh was that older wormtail? i thought you meant the younger one. i was like, they cant kill him, that would DEFINITELY change the time line! lol
| Neumzie chapter 19 . 6/1/2009
AGAIN WITH THE SPACING! its like that for the next few chapters, at least! change that! WTF!
| Neumzie chapter 18 . 6/1/2009
whoa! wtf happened to the spacing!
| Neumzie chapter 16 . 6/1/2009
"'No, nothing, we were just wondering if you're related to James.' Hermione cut in.
'Who's James?' Sirius silently pointed at the boy..."
when you line it up like that, it looks like hermione is asking is harry and james are related and sirius is asking who james is.
| Neumzie chapter 13 . 6/1/2009
diablo? lmao what?