|Reviews for Or get off the pot|
| Guardian54 chapter 11 . 12/27/2015
I'm quitting reading here.
The Aoyama family are a disgrace to all samurai families for being too cowardly to admit to mistakes. That is what divorce is, admitting a mistake. Covering it up and hiding it is so much more shameful that there are no words for what the Aoyama are doing.
| Guardian54 chapter 2 . 12/25/2015
It's as if no one realizes there is such a thing as an abortion, to deny irresponsible men the chance to reproduce more than they are worthy of... ugh...
| Quis Custodiet chapter 16 . 8/16/2015
This is a really good story in terms of content and effort so I'm going to try to give you some useful criticism instead of just "I liked this story" (I did by the way).
First off, I think it probably could have been a little shorter than it was, for instance both the Kanako appearance and the Tsuruko appearance were probably unnecessary to the flow/integrity of the story and it might have been better narrow down the love-drama to two girls instead of three (my vote would be to kick Mutsumi - she's too perfect to make this any sort of realistic contest and she's also far less interesting than Kitsune or Motoko due to their obvious flaws).
And while I appreciated that you took the "hard approach" to not making Naru a disagreeable person (actually she's much nicer in your fiction than she is in the manga/show!) I think a "heel turn" for her would have been a better climax. Basically have her throw herself at Keitaro, then have Keitaro's heart falter and setting off his self imposed exile. Of course, then you would have had to write a Naru denouement/epilogue to stay in theme... but that could have been pretty interesting as well!
Frankly I found the Motoko part of the story the most interesting because you depicted her as someone actually struggling with her feelings as well as with her own insecurities. Kitsune started off that way, but she quickly overcame whatever issues she had and hence became far less interesting (except for her getting drunk and punching Motoko scene, which could have been great if followed to a logical confrontation with Keitaro and her drinking and anger/abandonment issues). Really, that was a great idea and I was gutted that you didn't follow it.
Also, while you hinted at it, I agree Motoko is probably what is occasionally referred to as a "hard m" in Japan. Now THAT would have been interesting to see in her character development - tough samurai girl struggling with the fact that in the bedroom she likes to be bullied :P Of course that's what makes her character interesting in general - the dichotomy between her outwards demeanor and her inner feelings. Man, I keep going back to Kitsune on this, but it's a shame that she came around so fast. It would have been better to see her struggle more in getting closer to Keitaro.
Finally, props to giving Shinobu a boyfriend and having the subplot with Su and her. This was a great little piece of drama undercurrent that came through all the way to the end of the story. Honestly, it is really rare for fanfiction writers to not drop subplots, so it was both amazing and great that you keep it going.
My last bit of criticism is that there are a couple of scenes where you tend to "overdo" it a bit too much. Take for instance Kitsune's behavior at her awards show - I think it would have been more powerful and poignant to instead of have her throw a fit, if she had instead delivered an elegant soliloquy to the love of her husband and how it made her dreams possible. It would have also shown some character development on her part, from brash and immature person, to classy woman and tied it back to how Keitaro had been a positive influence on her life. Anyway, sometimes more simple statements or scenes are more powerful. That'd be my advice.
Again, on the all, I really liked this story. It should be obvious to the review that I paid close attention to everything you wrote, which alone is testament to how well it captured my imagination. So thank you for writing this!
| Quis Custodiet chapter 7 . 8/16/2015
Hey, if this story takes place after the burn up blade arc in the manga, wouldn't Shinobu be closer to 15 than 13? o.O
| COBRASTEVE chapter 1 . 3/26/2014
I share your feelings on Naru, she is such a mixed emotion bitch but that's part of the story I guess. The part I like to see modified! Can't wait to continue, great story.
| aasss chapter 16 . 7/14/2013
one word for this fic
| BukkakeNoJutsu chapter 16 . 4/8/2013
Aoyama sister ending ftfwmfk-er!
| diamondace4 chapter 16 . 3/16/2013
I gotta say if gave out awards this would gain some major ones in best potrayal and most resolved issues as well as anti waff
| NAJ P. Jackson chapter 16 . 3/13/2013
Interesting endings. But I have to say the Mutsumi end is the best of the three.
Motoko ending has promise (C'mon Keitaro had Motoko AND Tsuruko as his mates!)
I didn't like the Kitsune end. The way she neglected Keitaro reminded me of when he use to pine for Naru. Same scenario. Kitsune was stringing him along while the poor man suffers.
It sad that there was no Tsuruko end. One where Keitaro decides not to date the three romantically at the moment since it's been ruining the friendships between the girls. Months later Tsuruko's husband died from an accident or such which sends Tsuruko into a depression. Keitaro consoles her and 6 months later their married.
| Ibskib chapter 16 . 1/3/2013
aaaw, no Shinobu/Keitaro ;-)
Nice to see too happy endings in one, I've actually never read a fic where he ends up with both of the Aoyama sisters, always great to see something new
| Ibskib chapter 1 . 12/24/2012
Poor Kitsune, i kept hoping that she would be stopped before she lost her virginity to a bastard, but I guess that fits in with this being a more serious story.
| Guest chapter 2 . 9/20/2012
now, how fucking old are you? Really? Ever heard about the pill? By the way, you aren't a guy are you? If you were, Keitaro would behave like a man despite his flaws and shortcomings, no like this little bitch. I pass
| mnementh2000 chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
Sorry for favoring the story the other night without reviewing, but it was late and I needed to get up early for work the next morning. Now, on to the review.
The story was well written, in my opinion, and is well deserving of praise. There were a few typos and a few misspelled words or misused words here and there, but overall, that did not detract from the story. Anybody can make simple mistakes, and they were easy enough to read around. However, despite these few things, the overall story was quite enjoyable. The character development, the story progression, and the overall feel of everything was quite well done. I will say this, Naru is likewise one of my least favorite characters in the LH universe, and I do NOT see her as a good choice for Keitaro, as her psychosis and temper (not to mention her quick fist) are not something that I feel she could overcomein a short time, or without aid. My first choice would be Shinobu (an older version by Western standards, or even as is by Japanese age standards), followed by Mutsumi or a reformed Motoko.
As for your choice of three endings, I very much like this choice, as it hives proponents of each girl that could be chosen a taste of happiness for her. Also, each one had the ring of truth to it, as you succeeded, again in my opinion, to bring an element of real life to each character, and the road that each one walks after the choice is made. You also took in to account each one in the individual story endings, such as Mitsune's either succeeding with her writing/acting career without drawbacks (mostly) in her being chosen, to major heartache if he chose one of the others. Very well done in writing realistic, life-like characters and choices for this story.
| FateBurn chapter 16 . 6/14/2012
Great story from start to finish
| Frosty Wolf chapter 9 . 3/30/2012
Not bad, not bad at all.