Reviews for Gems of Neverland
Tetraforce chapter 2 . 8/23/2012
Dammit! I typed my review for nothing! Dammit :( (sorry for swearing but I am royall pissed off at my wasted typing)

Why does God hate me?
Tetraforce chapter 1 . 8/23/2012
Please excuse my review being longer then most. Your story is off to a wonderful start however it can easily be ruined by 2 things that a lot of authors fall for.

1. Making the character or characters a Mary Sue (I don't have the patience to explain it so google it and you'll see why a lot of serious readers and writers try to avoid that concept)

2. The complete opposite of Mary Sue in which you characters are 1 dimensional which so far in this story we don't see much of the characters thoughts or personality except the rain scene where she was bored to tears.

I would've added a bit more dialouge where she explains to Rufio the power outage and falling out of her bed. Maybe in later chapters discuss about her world a bit the goods and bads since technology or energy is NOT evil unless evil people run it which is what is happening unfortunately with good people being slandered with political crap for standing up to the over sized government and discouraging moral values to stand by.

One thing I cannot stand is the demonizing of Nuclear power because it's the people that cut corners on maintenance that needs to be blamed which leads to bigger problems when a disaster strikes.

tsk tsk tsk.

I wish I could go to Neverland to escape all this crap as mankind gets ready for WW3.

So far I don't see Mary Sue being a problem in this story but things can change and bounce from one extreme to another like Space Mountain.
I'mJustTheDreamerType chapter 1 . 1/1/2012
Really cute and good story so far :3 Please write more!
Hey chapter 1 . 9/24/2011
Please update :)
rinpup14 chapter 1 . 8/22/2011
make more Rufio is so hott make more please!